-
>Order a 'random selection' discount Chinese pony model.
-
>Hope it's something cool.
-
>Probably not though, since you've heard how crappy these things are.
-
>And a random selection model was all you could afford.
-
>Finally, it arrives.
-
>Giant box with yellow masking tape all fucking over it.
-
>It seems someone spilled a mystery liquid on it as well.
-
"Well, let's see the damage."
-
>Open box.
-
>Styrofoam peanuts everywhere.
-
>There's a piece of paper with a bunch of Chinese moon runes on it.
-
>Though, at the top there is some English writing.
-
>'Model 0023. Derby Hoobs'
-
>The paper falls out of your hands.
-
"Oh God... What have I done?"
-
-
>>32051446
-
>You don't know why you did it.
-
>No- you know exactly why you did it.
-
>This never ending loneliness will make the lowest man howl at the moon...
-
>Ah fuck, you're kind of drunk.
-
>Well, the Derpy Hooves pony bot is finished.
-
>She sits on your living room floor, still lifeless.
-
>You have her plugged in to your computer, still booting up.
-
>This 'Derby Hoobs' is a mess.
-
>Her mane and tail are orange.
-
>Fucking orange.
-
>And one of her wings is missing.
-
>You decided to attach the one wing, in the hopes she could still get some use out of it.
-
>Okay, so for whatever reason, the Chinese manufacturers decided to put her model number on her head.
-
>There is a bright red '23' stamped in the middle of her forehead.
-
>And last but not least: her eyes.
-
>Yes, they got the 'derpiness' of her eyes right.
-
>It's the color that's all wrong.
-
>To be honest, her eyes are creepy.
-
>They are red.
-
>Crimson red.
-
-
>>32051783
-
>When you first plugged her in to the computer to boot up, they glowed, then went dark again.
-
>It made your heart skip.
-
>You hope they don't glow like that when she comes to life.
-
>Another odd feature is that her tail is way too long.
-
>It's like they forgot to turn the machine off that made her tail.
-
>When she walks, it's going to drag on the floor behind her.
-
>Oh well, maybe you'll trim it up later.
-
>Right now, you just want to get her started up.
-
>And another beer...
-
>You get up to go to the kitchen.
-
>Maybe this was a mistake.
-
>There's no way this thing could come close to the ponies you've loved for years.
-
>"HELLO!"
-
>You almost piss yourself and drop your beer bottle on the floor.
-
>Turning around, you almost piss yourself again.
-
>Glowing crimson eyes are staring at you.
-
>Well, one glowing crimson eye anyway.
-
>Derby is smiling up at you, sitting on her haunches.
-
>That cheery smile with the demon eyes is seriously making the hairs on the back of your neck rise.
-
>But what really seems wrong-
-
>"MY NAME IS DERBY HOOBS. IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, ANONYMOUS."
-
>Oh God...
-
>Her voice sounds just like Gilbert Gottfried.
-
>"I AM SO EXCITED TO START A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF ME FROM NOW ON."
-
-
>>32051785
-
>No.
-
>Fuck no.
-
>You run back over to your computer and start going through the software settings.
-
>You notice that Derby's derpy eye follows your movements while she stays facing toward your kitchen.
-
>There is NO way you're going to have a damn Gottfried pony.
-
>Finally, you find the 'voice modulator' setting.
-
>It's actually preset to 'Gilbert'.
-
>What the hell is wrong with China?
-
>You scroll through a rather large list of voice settings.
-
>At the top is the 'Derby Original' setting.
-
>You click that like no tomorrow.
-
>Looking behind you, you see Derby's eyes blink like traffic lights.
-
>Did she just reset?
-
>She looks down and her eyes suddenly focus.
-
>You lean over your chair closer to her.
-
"Hello?"
-
>The pony slowly turns her head to you.
-
>Oh fuck, that's probably the creepiest thing you've ever seen...
-
>She's still smiling and her blood eyes are zeroed in on you.
-
>She slowly stretches out her wing and raises it toward the roof.
-
"Um, Derby?"
-
>She tilts her head, still smiling.
-
>"Is that my name?"
-
>Well, her voice sounds normal.
-
>At least, it sounds like the Derpy Hooves from the original episode when she talked.
-
>Only, it sounds... Empty.
-
>Despite the smile, there is a definitive melancholy in her voice.
-
"Yes, your name is Derby. My name is Anonymous."
-
>You should call her Derpy.
-
>But, somewhere in your mind you hold on to a selfish notion.
-
>That is not Derpy.
-
>"Why am I here?"
-
-
>>32051790
-
>That catches you off guard.
-
>She flaps her one wing and reaches up with a hoof, touching her face.
-
>"What am I, Anonymous?"
-
>Damn.
-
>You're going to need another beer for this.
-
"You're... You're a pony, Derby."
-
>You don't want to tell her what she really is.
-
>She folds her wing to her side and nods slowly.
-
>Her eyes go derpy again.
-
>There's still that smile.
-
>Maybe she can't not smile?
-
>You get up and make to go for the kitchen again.
-
>"Please don't leave me."
-
>You stop and look back at Derby.
-
>In complete silence, she moved when your back was turned.
-
>You flinch back from the ponybot mere inches from you, looking up with those glowing eyes and that haunting smile.
-
>Your eyes are drawn to the '23' on her forehead.
-
>"Please, take Derby with you, Anonymous."
-
>You swallow and nod slowly.
-
"Okay. I'm just going into the kitchen to get a drink. You can come with, if you want?"
-
>Derby just stares up at you, unblinking and smiling.
-
"Oooookay."
-
>Turning around again, you walk into the kitchen.
-
>A quick look back and you see that Derby is following.
-
>She is still attached to the computer by her cord, but it unplugs and falls to the floor when she gets far enough away.
-
>She makes absolutely no noise when she walks.
-
>Her wing hangs limply down at her side, grazing the floor as she goes.
-
>Her tail drags like a snake behind her.
-
>And that smile...
-
>"Please don't leave me, Anonymous."
-
>You give her a sad look and open the fridge.
-
"I'm not going anywhere, Derby. I promise I won't leave you."
-
>Derby sits down on the kitchen floor and her eyes focus on you again as you open a beer with shaky hands.
-
>"Promise... You, promise Derby. Okay."
-
>With a nod, she looks down at her hoof.
-
>You take a big drink and watch her examine herself.
-
"Are you okay, Derby?"
-
>She whispers so softly, you barely make it out.
-
>"I promise I am not experiencing pain..."
-
-
>>32051797
-
>You freeze in place, the hairs on your neck rising again.
-
"What was that?"
-
>Derby looks up at you again.
-
>Her eyes are looking in different directions.
-
>One at the ground, one at the beer in your hand.
-
>Slowly, the eyes move and focus on you.
-
>It takes everything you have to not look away.
-
>Her smile seems to get larger.
-
>"Please don't leave me, Anonymous."
-
>You sigh and take another large drink.
-
"I promised I wouldn't, remember?"
-
>Derby finally closes her eyes.
-
>"I remember something. You made a promise. You promised, Anonymous."
-
>Her eyes open again and seem to glow brighter.
-
>"Anonymous promised Derby. Derby remembers. Please don't leave me."
-
>You won't get any sleep tonight.
-
-
>>32051801
-
>A blanket is pulled over your head.
-
>Only a bit of your face sticks out.
-
>Enough to breathe and stare at your bedroom wall.
-
>Behind you, you can feel them.
-
>Those glowing crimson eyes are burning into the back of your head.
-
>Derby seems to have one setting when it comes to personal space.
-
>Magnetic.
-
>Wherever you go, Derby follows.
-
>Always asking you to please not leave her.
-
>She crawled up into your bed when you went to lay down.
-
>Because of the instruction manual being in Chinese (with no damn diagrams either), you don't know where Derby's power switch is.
-
>Does she even have one?
-
>How long does her battery charge last?
-
>For twenty minutes now, Derby has sat behind you, watching you try to sleep in your blanket cacoon.
-
>Just staring at you.
-
-
>>32052228
-
>There's got to be some way to change her settings.
-
>Tomorrow, you will mess with that.
-
>But for now, you need to sleep.
-
>You have work tomorrow.
-
>As you think of work, your eyes begin to slowly close.
-
>"Anonymous."
-
>The soft melancholy voice snaps your eyes back open.
-
"What is it, Derby?"
-
>You feel her weight shift behind you.
-
>Your cell phone charging on the bedside table creates enough light to cast a shadow of Derby on the wall in front of you.
-
>You can see that she is stretching her wing toward the ceiling again.
-
>It's an ominous sight.
-
>"Derby thought you were leaving."
-
>You sigh and pull the blankets tighter around your face.
-
"I'm just trying to go to sleep."
-
>Silence fills the room.
-
>"Please don't sleep. Derby will be alone."
-
-
>>32052232
-
>Damn it.
-
>You sit up suddenly and grab the TV remote off your bedside table.
-
"How about I let you watch something while I sleep?"
-
>The glowing eyes stare back at you in the dark.
-
>You turn on your small bedroom tv.
-
>The History Channel is on, showing a documentary about the Titanic.
-
"How about this?"
-
>You look back to Derby.
-
>She stares at the TV, both eyes focused.
-
>It seems like she's entranced.
-
"Derby?"
-
>You wave a hand in front of her face.
-
>She keeps on staring straight ahead, focused on the show.
-
"Nice."
-
>Laying back down, you pull the blanket comfortably up to your chin and sigh.
-
>Finally, some sleep.
-
>You stare at the ceiling.
-
>Looking one last time at Derby, your breath catches in your throat.
-
>Her head is turned back toward you.
-
>Those red eyes glow like embers.
-
>"I like this. Thank you, Anonymous."
-
-
-
>>32052239
-
>You move your feet against each other under the blankets.
-
"Uh, that's good. You should keep watching then."
-
>Derby just smiles at you.
-
>The glow from the TV behind her makes the sight even more unnerving.
-
>"Goodnight, Anonymous."
-
>Her head turns back around and she is hypnotized by the tv again.
-
>You reach over to your bedside table once more, this time opening the drawer.
-
>Pulling out your bottle of cough syrup, you open it and take a quick swig.
-
>You want to fall asleep as quickly as possible.
-
>Deeply asleep.
-
>The faint noises of the Titanic documentary carry to your ears for a while.
-
>Then the effects of the diphenhydramine start to take hold.
-
>You feel Derby rest her wing on your leg.
-
>As you fall into a drug-induced sleep, you feel a twinge of guilt.
-
>It feels like you are leaving her, in a way.
-
-
-
>>32052244
-
>The sound of your alarm wakes you up.
-
>You turn it off and groan against your pillow.
-
>A dreamless sleep.
-
>It's time to get ready for work.
-
>First, a shower-
-
>You go to move, but now that your mind is slowly waking up, you notice a weight near your legs.
-
>Between your legs.
-
>You look down and are met with a red-eyed stare.
-
>Derby lays curled up between your legs.
-
>The TV is still on in the background.
-
>Derby smiles at you.
-
>"Good morning, Anonymous."
-
>You yawn and hoist yourself up.
-
"Mornin'. Did you sleep, Derby?"
-
>Derby's eyes wander off.
-
>"Yes. Derby slept for three hours, forty-six minutes and eight seconds."
-
>You chuckle and rub your eyes.
-
"That's pretty precise. I hope your sleep-mode was enjoyable."
-
>You get out of bed and stretch.
-
>"Derby had a dream."
-
-
-
>>32052254
-
>As you smoke a cigarette out on your back balcony, Derby watches you.
-
>It's been a long time since you have smoked.
-
>Your nerves need it.
-
>Just as always, she smiles.
-
>Since you had one of those closed off balconys, you let the ponybot follow you outside.
-
>She followed you into the bathroom when you did your morning routine.
-
>It was kind of awkward taking a piss with her standing right behind you.
-
>Luckily, she didn't try to follow you into the shower when you went in.
-
>She just sat outside the curtain.
-
>Smiling.
-
>You tried to ask her what her 'dream' was about.
-
>But she only stated she didn't remember.
-
>It's hard for you to believe that she can even have a dream.
-
>Maybe it's a pre-programmed response?
-
>As you smoke, you watch one of Derby's eyes follow a bird soaring through the sky.
-
>She turns her head to track its movement.
-
>When it is out of sight, Derby extends her wing out and looks over at it.
-
>You can practically hear the gears turning in her head.
-
>Maybe you should have just left the wing detached...
-
-
>>32057142
-
"Derby, do you want to fly?"
-
>The ponybot looks away from her wing and back to you.
-
>The wing drops and hangs limply at her side.
-
>For a moment she doesn't say anything.
-
>Then-
-
>"No. I don't like that."
-
>Your brow furrows.
-
>Shouldn't she be programmed with an 'instinct' to fly?
-
>"Derby doesn't want to fly. Derby wants to stay on the ground, with you."
-
>Oh, that's actually kind of cute.
-
>It would be a lot cuter if she didn't sound like her pet fish just died though.
-
>"Derby will never leave Anonymous. Derby promises."
-
>You look back at the sky, smoke drifting past your eyes.
-
"Yeah..."
-
-
>>32057144
-
-
-
-
>You have to leave.
-
>It's time to go to work.
-
"Derby, I have to go to work now, okay?"
-
>She sits on the couch, smiling at you as you put your shoes on.
-
"Hey, I didn't think of this, but are you going to be fine with your battery life while I'm at work?"
-
>Derby looks down.
-
>"My charge is at seventy-nine percent. Derby will plug herself in to charge when battery life drops below forty percent."
-
>Well that takes care of that.
-
>You stand up and take out your car keys.
-
"Okay, Derby. I'm going now. Maybe you should just go into sleep-mode until I'm back?"
-
>She just stares at you from the couch.
-
>You really don't want to leave her alone in your apartment.
-
>Didn't really think of that when you decided to order a ponybot.
-
"See you later."
-
>You exit your apartment and close the door behind you.
-
>Just as the latch catches, something slams into the door on the other side.
-
-
>>32057146
-
>It makes you recoil away.
-
>You can hear Derby slamming her hooves against the wood.
-
>It sounds like even her wing is beating against it.
-
>"Anonymous? Where are you?"
-
>Her sad little voice is muffled through the door.
-
>"Anonymous, don't leave Derby!"
-
>You quickly open the door back up.
-
>Derby sits smiling up at you.
-
>"Hello, Anonymous. Welcome home."
-
>You sigh and rub your temple.
-
>This isn't going to work.
-
>Thinking quickly, you enter the apartment and close the door behind you.
-
"Derby, I have to go to work. But how about I leave the TV on for you?"
-
>Derby follows you over to the couch silently.
-
>You pick up your remote and turn the TV on.
-
>Derby's attention is drawn to it immediately.
-
>Both of her eyes zero in on the screen.
-
>She's completely transfixed, standing in front of the couch.
-
>With a chuckle, you bend down and pick her up.
-
-
>>32057149
-
>She's light.
-
>Maybe around forty pounds.
-
>Her fur is soft, and her wings are covered by a surprisingly high quality batch of synthetic feathers.
-
>But you can still feel the solidness of metal and polymer below her coat.
-
>Her eyes stay fixed to the commercial on TV, but her front hooves wrap around your neck suddenly.
-
>You can't place her down on the couch.
-
>She has you wrapped in a tight hug.
-
>Her head nuzzles under your chin as she watches the commercial over your shoulder.
-
>Suddenly, you want to call in sick to work.
-
>This is what you wanted when you ordered Derby.
-
>You shift your arms a bit and return the hug.
-
>Her belly is against your torso.
-
>Unbreathing.
-
>There is no warmth coming from her.
-
>But the feeling of her squeezing you close and the feeling of her coarse mane against your neck makes you close your eyes.
-
>'Don't leave me, please.'
-
-
>>32057154
-
>No.
-
>You have to go to work.
-
>With effort, you grab Derby's sides and peel her away from you.
-
>She hangs suspended in your outstretched arms, still staring at the TV behind you.
-
>You place her on the couch, her long tail draping over the edge and down to the floor.
-
"Derby, I'm leaving now."
-
>She stares straight at the TV.
-
>"I want to watch Titanic."
-
>You raise an eyebrow.
-
>Oh, that's right.
-
>Last night she watched that documentary.
-
>Luckily, you actually have a copy of The Titanic on DVD.
-
>A gift long ago from your mother.
-
>You go over to your DVD rack by the TV and find it.
-
>Popping it into the DVD player, you grab the remote and set it up.
-
>After a short explaination of the controls to Derby, you get ready to leave again.
-
>Derby sits on the couch, lost in the world of the doomed ship.
-
>Her eyes seem to be glowing in waves.
-
>Like she's processing information.
-
>After work, you will plug her in and see what you can do about some of her settings.
-
>She lays down with her head resting on her front hooves, her red eyes never leaving the screen.
-
>You open the front door and look back at her.
-
"I'm going to work, Derby."
-
>She doesn't move.
-
"I'll be back around five."
-
>Her eyes are one with the TV.
-
>With that, you step outside and close the door behind you, locking it.
-
>The only sound from the other side is the faint music from The Titanic, taking Derby to another world.
-
-
>>32057158
-
>Work was shit.
-
>You work in a restaurant, as a cook.
-
>It's not glorious, but it pays the bills.
-
>Barely.
-
>You drive home in your piece of shit car.
-
>Right after work, you stopped at the corner store to pick up some stuff before going home.
-
>Some fresh cigarettes, beer (Pabst, because it's cheap) and another bottle of cough syrup.
-
>You feel sort of gutted about picking up smoking again.
-
>It's been over six months since you quit.
-
>And the NyQuil-
-
>Well, it seems you are going to have to start leaving the TV in your room on for Derby while you sleep.
-
>The NyQuil will help.
-
>Derby was on your mind all day.
-
>You pull into your apartment complex and park, flicking your spent cigarette out of the window before rolling it up.
-
>Before you can even turn your car off, your phone starts going off in your pocket.
-
>You cut the engine and dig your phone out.
-
>The screen reads 'MOM'.
-
"Damn..."
-
-
>>32057447
-
>You light another cigarette before you answer.
-
"Hello?"
-
>"Where are you?"
-
>Her voice is loud and you press the 'volume down' button a couple of times.
-
"I just got home from work."
-
>"Oh. I'm making dinner."
-
>That seems like a blunt anecdote, but you immediately understand the implication.
-
"I can't come over tonight. I'm too tired."
-
>You lean your seat back and blow a big cloud of smoke at the roof of your car.
-
>"You haven't been over in two months."
-
>Has it been that long?
-
>"Well, whatever."
-
>She's annoyed.
-
>"I have mail for you. Come get it whenever."
-
>It's annoying that your mail still sometimes shows up there.
-
"I'll come over this-"
-
>"It's a letter for debt collection. How much do you owe?"
-
>Your heart sinks.
-
-
>>32057454
-
"You opened my mail?"
-
>"It came to my house. Your father wanted me to throw it out. How much do you owe?"
-
>You close your eyes and let the cigarette burn between your lips.
-
"I don't want to talk about it. I'll come over this weekend to pick it up, okay?"
-
>"When are you going to get your shit together, Ano-"
-
>You hang up on her and throw your phone down on the passenger seat.
-
>For a while, you sit staring out of the windshield at the cardboard dumpster in front of your car.
-
>The cigarette in your mouth has burned out and a large portion of ash drops into your lap.
-
>You groan and get out of your car, grabbing the plastic bag from the corner store and slamming the door shut.
-
>Today was a shitty day.
-
-
>>32057460
-
-
-
-
>Derby is exactly where you left her.
-
>You enter your apartment and quickly close the door behind you.
-
>Derby is still on the couch, staring at the TV.
-
>The Titanic is still playing.
-
>She must have watched it at least two times already.
-
"I'm home, Derby."
-
>Her eyes never leave the TV.
-
>You walk over and pick up the remote, pointing it at the screen.
-
>When it goes black, Derby hops right off the couch and slinks over to you.
-
>She sits at your feet and smiles up at you, one eye drifting off.
-
>"Welcome home, Anonymous. Derby missed you."
-
>You set the plastic bag on your coffee table.
-
"I missed you too. How was your day?"
-
>Derby's wing suddenly reaches forward and brushes against your leg.
-
>You stand still as her wing pats your knee.
-
>"Derby doesn't remember."
-
-
>>32057465
-
>She smiles up at you as her wing continues to slide around your pant leg.
-
>Is she doing it on purpose?
-
"Well, it seems like you watched Titanic a few times."
-
>You pull your leg away from her and pull a beer from out of the bag.
-
"I'm gonna make something to eat and then we can plug you into the computer, okay?"
-
>She just watches you open your can of beer with her smile.
-
>As you take a drink, your eyes are drawn to the red '23' on her forehead.
-
>You lean down and brush your thumb across it.
-
>Some of her mane slides over the back of your hand.
-
>Her eyes cross, following your hand and her mouth opens silently.
-
>The painted numbers feel indented, like they we roughly stamped into her skull.
-
>"Anonymous, how was your day?"
-
>Her wing comes up again and starts doing its strange patting motion against your wrist.
-
>Now you are aware of what is happening.
-
>Just as you were curious about the numbers on her forehead, Derby must be curious about you.
-
>Her wing seems to be examining you.
-
-
>>32057467
-
>You straighten up again and take another drink.
-
"It was... Good."
-
>You grab the bag from the table and walk to the kitchen.
-
>Derby follows, her wing brushing the back of your legs.
-
>It feels sort of surreal-
-
>A robot trying to physically examine you.
-
>But you don't mind.
-
>You turn on the kitchen light.
-
>It's a small kitchen.
-
>A dingy kitchen.
-
>The yellowed light makes it seem like the place is always grimy, no matter how much you clean.
-
>You set your bag on your slightly tilted table and pull the cans of beer out.
-
>In the corner is your small fridge.
-
>You open it and place the beer inside.
-
>Aside from the beer now, your fridge is pathetically sparse.
-
>A carton of eggs.
-
>Some pickles.
-
>Some expired chicken breast.
-
>'When are you going to get your shit together?'
-
>You quickly close the fridge and sit at the kitchen table with your beer.
-
>The light flickers overhead.
-
>You sigh and stare at the scratched up table top.
-
>Without thinking, you reach into the bag again and pull out the NyQuil.
-
>Sleep is all you want right now.
-
>You open the medicine and take a large drink.
-
-
>>32057473
-
>It makes you shiver.
-
>A sudden noise draws your attention.
-
>Derby is pushing your other wooden chair toward where you sit.
-
>She slides it across the linoleum until it bumps against your chair.
-
>With a smile, she crawls up on the chair beside you.
-
"Derby?"
-
>The ponybot takes a seat next to you and leans her head against your side.
-
>Her wing wraps around your back.
-
>She moves her head against your ribs, like she's nuzzling you.
-
>"How was your day, Anonymous?"
-
>That makes your chest tighten up.
-
>You take another drink of beer.
-
>With one arm, you reach around Derby and pull her small body against you.
-
>Your eyes wander over to the counter.
-
>Beside your microwave sits a stack of mail.
-
>All of the letters state the same thing.
-
>'How much do you owe?'
-
>"Did you have a good day, Anonymous?"
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>>32057478
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>You close your eyes and take another drink.
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"It was bad. But I'm doing better now."
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>Derby's wing pats your back.
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>"Derby wants to be better too."
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>You look down at the top of her head.
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>The light flickers again and for a moment only the red glow of her eyes light the room.
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"How are you feeling, Derby?"
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>In the silence that follows, you fill yourself with more alcohol.
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>The cough syrup feels heavy in your gut.
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>"Derby was lonely."
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>So she does remember.
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>That hollow feeling returns.
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>"But Derby learned."
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>Your hand brushes over her side.
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>Across the notch where her missing wing should be attached.
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"Learned what?"
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>Her wing moves up to your neck and the feathers slide across the bare skin of your neck.
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>Goosebumps spread over your flesh and you shiver again.
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>"Derby learned that if she is lonely, she can press play."
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>>32057481
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>Press play?
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>Ah, she means the DVD.
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>It's a good thing you actually had that.
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>You nod and finish your beer.
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"That's good. I don't want you to be lonely."
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>Finally, your pathetic kitchen light gives out.
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>You are left sitting in darkness.
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>Save for Derby's glowing eyes.
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>"Can we press play?"
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>You stand up, Derby's wing sliding down your body.
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>You open the fridge and grab a new beer, throwing your empty one into the trash.
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"Alright. Let me smoke a cigarette and then we can watch Titanic together, okay?"
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>Her eyes stare back at you in the dark.
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>"Anonymous?"
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>You open your beer.
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>"Are we lonely?"
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>The sound of your neighbors arguing next door comes through the thin wall.
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>You reach into your pocket and take out your cigarettes.
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>A dog starts barking outside as the sound of police sirens scream past on the street below.
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"Let's press play, Derby."
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>>32057483
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>It's hard to say exactly when you fell asleep.
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>You don't remember.
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>NyQuil will do that to you.
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>The first thing you notice when you awake on your couch is the wetness on your waist.
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>Second, the sun is trying to shine into your living room through the closed blackout curtains.
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>Third, the wetness in your pants turns out to be from the spilled beer can that was in your hand when you fell asleep.
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>Your waist and a spot on the couch are soaked.
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>This is not the first time your couch got a beer bath.
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>The fourth thing you notice is-
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>"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?!"
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>"SpongeBob SquarePants."
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>Your blurry eyes look up to where the SpongeBob theme song is playing on the TV.
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>Derby is standing only a foot or so away from the screen.
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>As she sings along, she shakes her butt from side to side.
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>Her wing is held high and her long tail swishes on the ground behind her.
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>"If nautical nonsense be something you wish!"
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>Derby keeps shaking her back end in an awkward jig and sings back to the screen.
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>"SpongeBob SquarePants."
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>>32067478
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>Her singing voice is flat and morose sounding.
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>But she seems to be happy, dancing and bobbing her head.
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>Your head is killing you.
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>And your stomach is sick.
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"Derby..."
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>The pony turns her head around while still shaking her butt.
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>Her ever-present smile greets you.
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>"Good morning, Anonymous. SpongeBob SquarePants."
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>You take the empty beer can from beside your waist and place it on the table in front of you, where six other empty cans stand.
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"Yeah. SpongeBob SquarePants."
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>You grab your phone from off the armrest and check the time.
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>Two in the afternoon.
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>Derby turns back to the TV.
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>Even though the song is over, she still jitters a bit.
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>Luckily, you don't have work today.
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>Your head throbs.
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>There's a nasty taste in the back of your throat.
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"Ugh..."
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>>32067487
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>You grab your pack of cigarettes from the coffee table and take one out.
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>Never have you smoked in your apartment, but right now you can't find the intestinal fortitude to make your way outside.
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>So you light upright on the couch.
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>"Derby likes this show."
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>You lean back on the couch and look at Derby.
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>Her head moves slightly, following the movements of characters on the screen.
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>Without an ashtray, you grab the beer can you just set down and ash your cigarette into it.
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>"SpongeBob SquarePants."
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>Today you will plug Derby back in and examine her settings.
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>Today you will.
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>But after a nap.
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>You're soaked in beer and your head feels like ground beef.
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>There's no point in trying to deal with this right now.
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>So you take the half-empty bottle of NyQuil from the table beside the couch and have a drink from that.
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>At least you don't have to work today.
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>There's really nothing for you to do.
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>So you finish your cigarette and drift back to sleep.
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>The last thing you remember is the sight of Derby bouncing happily in front of the television.
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>>32067495
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-
-
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>Today is the seventeenth.
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>Your phone bill comes out today.
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>The TV and internet comes out in two days.
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>And the car insurance is today as well.
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>One more paycheck this month and then your rent is due on the first.
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>You sit at your kitchen table, looking at the sheet of paper where you've tracked bills.
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>There's not much to work with in terms of money.
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>It took a lot of saving to buy Derby.
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>That's part of the reason why your fridge is so bare now.
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>You put your phone down and creak back in your chair, sighing and running a hand through your hair.
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>Derby watches from her chair right beside you.
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>You take a drink of beer and pat her head.
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"I have to go shopping, Derby."
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>You are hungry.
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>It's a bad idea to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach, but you desperately need food.
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>It's a good thing Derby doesn't need to eat.
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>"I want to go shopping with Anonymous."
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>You finish your last can of beer and toss it into the overflowing trash.
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"No. You have to stay here, Derby."
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>"Please don't leave Derby alone."
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"I'm just going to the store, I'll be right ba-"
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>There's a sudden knock at your front door.
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>>32067503
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>No one ever visits in the evening.
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>No one ever visits.
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>You get up and go into the living room, with Derby following on your heels and her wing brushing against your legs.
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>Going to the front door, you look out through the peephole.
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>Your mother stands on the other side of the door.
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>The sight makes a sinking feeling in your stomach.
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>There is no way you can let her see Derby.
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>So you pick the pony up and rush to your bedroom.
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>Derby wraps her legs aground your neck and you almost run into a wall when her wing comes up to pat your face.
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>"I like it when you hold me, Anonymous."
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>You peel her off and set her down on your bed.
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"Okay, Derby... Please stay in here. Don't come out until I come get you, okay?"
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>Derby just sits and smiles at you.
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>One of her eyes drifts down.
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>As insurance for her compliance, you turn the TV on.
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>Her attention is drawn to the screen instantly.
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>It's still on the History Channel, so hopefully Ancient Aliens will keep her distracted.
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>With that, you leave your bedroom and close the door behind you.
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>>32067517
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>Outside, you can hear your mom pounding on the front door.
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>From the kitchen, the sound of your phone buzzing on the table reaches your ears.
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>You bound over and unlock the three different locks on your door and open it.
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>Your mother's grumpy face stares at you.
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>"Why didn't you answer your phone?"
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"I didn't know you were planning on coming over."
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>You can see her eyes scanning the inside of your apartment behind you.
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>Shifting your body in the door frame, you try to block her view.
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>"I was out at my book club, so I decided to come by and check on you. So you're smoking again, huh?"
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>You try not to glare at her.
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>It's really hard.
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"Yeah. Sorry, but I'm actually going to go to the grocery store soon."
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>She is still trying to look into your apartment.
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>"At nine at night?"
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"I was asleep today. Walmart is open twenty-four hours."
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>"Are you going to invite me in?" She snaps.
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"I'm about to leave."
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>She makes her impatient face and you can tell she doesn't care about anything you have to say.
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>"I have something for you."
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>You see that down in the parking lot, there are three guys standing near a car, smoking.
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>They all look like tweekers and are watching you speak with your mother.
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"Alright, come on in."
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>>32067535
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>You move aside and your mother rushes past you.
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>Once the door is closed and locked, you turn and see that your mom is staring down at your coffee table.
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>It's cluttered with the usual mess of papers, cups, knick-nacks and used plates.
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>But now there are empty beer cans with ash on the tops, a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of NyQuil.
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>"You're smoking in here?"
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>You sigh and go to do damage control on the kitchen before she can see it.
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"Only a bit. I didn't-"
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>"That's disgusting."
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>You roll your eyes and march into the kitchen.
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>There's nothing you can do.
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>The pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
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>The trash overflowing next to the fridge.
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>The mess on the table.
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>So instead of trying to mask the filth, you just grab your phone.
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>Your mother comes into the kitchen and makes a disgusted 'tch' sound.
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>"I wasn't expecting it to be this bad."
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"Yeah. I get it. I really have to get going soon. I haven't eaten today."
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>She steps over an empty box of cereal on the ground and over to the table, acting like anything she touches will try to bite her.
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>"Here."
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>She places a slip of paper down on the table.
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>You lean over and look as she takes a pen out of her purse.
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"What is that?"
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>"How much do you owe?"
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>She starts filling out a check.
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>Your stomach clenches and you lean back.
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"Listen, I don't need-"
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>"How much do you owe?"
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>You know she's not going to give this up.
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>With a sigh, you run a hand through your hair.
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"Three thousand..."
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>She looks up from the check and gives you a look.
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>That look hurts more than anything.
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>A mixture of irritation and disappointment.
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>With a 'tch', she finishes filling out the check.
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>"I'm not going to ask why. I'm not going to tell you how to fix what you have done."
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>She folds the check in half and slides it in front of you.
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>"Just get it together."
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>You look into her cold eyes.
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>"For the love of God, Anon. Get. Your shit. Together."
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>>32067541
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>The only thing you can do is stare at her with your mouth slightly open.
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>Without a word, she hoists her purse up on her shoulder and exits your kitchen.
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>You stare down at the check in front of you.
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>It seems too heavy to pick up from the beat up table.
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>The sound of your front door slamming makes you look up.
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>You sit staring at the door of the kitchen in silence.
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>"Anonymous?"
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>Derby pokes her head into the kitchen.
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>She smiles at you, on eye looking over toward the stove.
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>"Is it okay for Derby to come out?"
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>She's already-
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>You offer her a weak smile.
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"Yes, Derby. Thank you."
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>The ponybot walks silently into the kitchen.
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>Without a word, she crawls up into your lap.
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>You shift in your chair, caught off guard.
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>Derby wraps her hooves around your neck and hugs you tightly.
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>Her mane slides across your face in an orange mesh.
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>"I am your Carpathia."
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>That makes you blink in confusion.
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>Derby's wing wraps over your head.
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>It almost feels like a hand pulling you closer.
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>"I will save you from drowning, Anonymous."
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>You feel the tears welling up in your eyes.
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"Damn..."
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>>32067547
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-
-
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>You were wrong.
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>All wrong.
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>The calculations were all wrong.
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>There's less money in your bank account than you thought.
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>It turns out you only have fifty dollars left.
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>Fifty dollars to your name.
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>After the phone bill and insurance, you don't even have enough to pay the TV and internet bill.
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>And now there is even less after your trip to the store.
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>After checking your bank account and finding your meager funds, you had to make a choice.
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>So now, as you stand in your kitchen looking at your 'groceries', you feel drained.
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>The box of ramen noodles and cans of beefaroni will have to last you for the next week.
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>You can do it.
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>Of course- you didn't NEED the beer, NyQuil and cigarettes.
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>Of course.
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>But you bought them anyway.
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>You light a cigarette and take a drink of NyQuil as you listen to the sounds of The Titanic playing on the TV in the living room.
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>The feeling of the syrup sliding down your throat helps.
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>You ash your cigarette into the sink and look over at the table.
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>Your mother's check still lays in the same place.
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>Three thousand dollars.
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>You can pay off your debt.
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>Or-
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>You could use some to buy food...
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>>32067550
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>No.
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>You have to get your shit together.
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>There's a vibration in your pocket and you slap your hand to your leg.
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>Your phone.
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>Taking it out, you turn on the screen.
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>A text message.
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>From your dad.
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>With your heart kicking up suddenly, you open the message.
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>'After you cash the check don't bother talking to us for a while. Thank your mother then handle your business.'
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>You stare at that message for a while.
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>Long enough to go through the rest of your cigarette and on to a new one.
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>Putting your phone on the counter, you open a Pabst and take a good long drink.
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>Through the wall, you can hear your neighbors start their yelling match.
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>There's the sound of glass breaking and a woman starts crying.
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>With your beer, you leave the kitchen and walk into the living room.
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>There's no light, save for the TV.
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>And Derby's crimson eyes.
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>She sits on the couch, smiling at the screen.
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>You walk down the hall and to your bathroom.
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>Closing the door, you turn on the light and take another drink of beer.
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>You catch a sight of yourself in the mirror.
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>It makes you turn away.
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>You get into the bathtub and sit down.
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>In one drink, you finish your beer.
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>Swallowing, you crush the can in one hand and throw it violently at the door.
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>It bounces off and slides across the linoleum.
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>>32067555
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>You pull your knees to your chest and hang your head between them with your eyes closed.
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>When is this going to stop?
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>You are twenty-seven.
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>When do things get better?
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"It's too late..."
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>The door to the bathroom opens.
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>You don't look up.
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>Derby walks into the bathroom and you know she is staring at you sitting in the bathtub.
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>Smiling.
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>You can hear the sound of her shifting around and a clicking noise.
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>Lifting your head slowly, you turn to her.
-
>She stands smiling at you.
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>Using her wing like a hand, she points the TV remote at you and clicks it over and over.
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>Pressing 'play'.
-
>Finally, you cry.
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>You sob like a baby, sitting in your bathtub with your knees pulled tightly to your chest.
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>"What is wrong with you, Anonymous? Derby doesn't know... What is wrong with you?"
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6636 36.69 KB 835
by yamma
by yamma