-
1.
>Order a 'random selection' discount Chinese pony model.
-
2.
>Hope it's something cool.
-
3.
>Probably not though, since you've heard how crappy these things are.
-
4.
>And a random selection model was all you could afford.
-
5.
>Finally, it arrives.
-
6.
>Giant box with yellow masking tape all fucking over it.
-
7.
>It seems someone spilled a mystery liquid on it as well.
-
8.
"Well, let's see the damage."
-
9.
>Open box.
-
10.
>Styrofoam peanuts everywhere.
-
11.
>There's a piece of paper with a bunch of Chinese moon runes on it.
-
12.
>Though, at the top there is some English writing.
-
13.
>'Model 0023. Derby Hoobs'
-
14.
>The paper falls out of your hands.
-
15.
"Oh God... What have I done?"
-
16.
-
17.
>>32051446
-
18.
>You don't know why you did it.
-
19.
>No- you know exactly why you did it.
-
20.
>This never ending loneliness will make the lowest man howl at the moon...
-
21.
>Ah fuck, you're kind of drunk.
-
22.
>Well, the Derpy Hooves pony bot is finished.
-
23.
>She sits on your living room floor, still lifeless.
-
24.
>You have her plugged in to your computer, still booting up.
-
25.
>This 'Derby Hoobs' is a mess.
-
26.
>Her mane and tail are orange.
-
27.
>Fucking orange.
-
28.
>And one of her wings is missing.
-
29.
>You decided to attach the one wing, in the hopes she could still get some use out of it.
-
30.
>Okay, so for whatever reason, the Chinese manufacturers decided to put her model number on her head.
-
31.
>There is a bright red '23' stamped in the middle of her forehead.
-
32.
>And last but not least: her eyes.
-
33.
>Yes, they got the 'derpiness' of her eyes right.
-
34.
>It's the color that's all wrong.
-
35.
>To be honest, her eyes are creepy.
-
36.
>They are red.
-
37.
>Crimson red.
-
38.
-
39.
>>32051783
-
40.
>When you first plugged her in to the computer to boot up, they glowed, then went dark again.
-
41.
>It made your heart skip.
-
42.
>You hope they don't glow like that when she comes to life.
-
43.
>Another odd feature is that her tail is way too long.
-
44.
>It's like they forgot to turn the machine off that made her tail.
-
45.
>When she walks, it's going to drag on the floor behind her.
-
46.
>Oh well, maybe you'll trim it up later.
-
47.
>Right now, you just want to get her started up.
-
48.
>And another beer...
-
49.
>You get up to go to the kitchen.
-
50.
>Maybe this was a mistake.
-
51.
>There's no way this thing could come close to the ponies you've loved for years.
-
52.
>"HELLO!"
-
53.
>You almost piss yourself and drop your beer bottle on the floor.
-
54.
>Turning around, you almost piss yourself again.
-
55.
>Glowing crimson eyes are staring at you.
-
56.
>Well, one glowing crimson eye anyway.
-
57.
>Derby is smiling up at you, sitting on her haunches.
-
58.
>That cheery smile with the demon eyes is seriously making the hairs on the back of your neck rise.
-
59.
>But what really seems wrong-
-
60.
>"MY NAME IS DERBY HOOBS. IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, ANONYMOUS."
-
61.
>Oh God...
-
62.
>Her voice sounds just like Gilbert Gottfried.
-
63.
>"I AM SO EXCITED TO START A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF ME FROM NOW ON."
-
64.
-
65.
>>32051785
-
66.
>No.
-
67.
>Fuck no.
-
68.
>You run back over to your computer and start going through the software settings.
-
69.
>You notice that Derby's derpy eye follows your movements while she stays facing toward your kitchen.
-
70.
>There is NO way you're going to have a damn Gottfried pony.
-
71.
>Finally, you find the 'voice modulator' setting.
-
72.
>It's actually preset to 'Gilbert'.
-
73.
>What the hell is wrong with China?
-
74.
>You scroll through a rather large list of voice settings.
-
75.
>At the top is the 'Derby Original' setting.
-
76.
>You click that like no tomorrow.
-
77.
>Looking behind you, you see Derby's eyes blink like traffic lights.
-
78.
>Did she just reset?
-
79.
>She looks down and her eyes suddenly focus.
-
80.
>You lean over your chair closer to her.
-
81.
"Hello?"
-
82.
>The pony slowly turns her head to you.
-
83.
>Oh fuck, that's probably the creepiest thing you've ever seen...
-
84.
>She's still smiling and her blood eyes are zeroed in on you.
-
85.
>She slowly stretches out her wing and raises it toward the roof.
-
86.
"Um, Derby?"
-
87.
>She tilts her head, still smiling.
-
88.
>"Is that my name?"
-
89.
>Well, her voice sounds normal.
-
90.
>At least, it sounds like the Derpy Hooves from the original episode when she talked.
-
91.
>Only, it sounds... Empty.
-
92.
>Despite the smile, there is a definitive melancholy in her voice.
-
93.
"Yes, your name is Derby. My name is Anonymous."
-
94.
>You should call her Derpy.
-
95.
>But, somewhere in your mind you hold on to a selfish notion.
-
96.
>That is not Derpy.
-
97.
>"Why am I here?"
-
98.
-
99.
>>32051790
-
100.
>That catches you off guard.
-
101.
>She flaps her one wing and reaches up with a hoof, touching her face.
-
102.
>"What am I, Anonymous?"
-
103.
>Damn.
-
104.
>You're going to need another beer for this.
-
105.
"You're... You're a pony, Derby."
-
106.
>You don't want to tell her what she really is.
-
107.
>She folds her wing to her side and nods slowly.
-
108.
>Her eyes go derpy again.
-
109.
>There's still that smile.
-
110.
>Maybe she can't not smile?
-
111.
>You get up and make to go for the kitchen again.
-
112.
>"Please don't leave me."
-
113.
>You stop and look back at Derby.
-
114.
>In complete silence, she moved when your back was turned.
-
115.
>You flinch back from the ponybot mere inches from you, looking up with those glowing eyes and that haunting smile.
-
116.
>Your eyes are drawn to the '23' on her forehead.
-
117.
>"Please, take Derby with you, Anonymous."
-
118.
>You swallow and nod slowly.
-
119.
"Okay. I'm just going into the kitchen to get a drink. You can come with, if you want?"
-
120.
>Derby just stares up at you, unblinking and smiling.
-
121.
"Oooookay."
-
122.
>Turning around again, you walk into the kitchen.
-
123.
>A quick look back and you see that Derby is following.
-
124.
>She is still attached to the computer by her cord, but it unplugs and falls to the floor when she gets far enough away.
-
125.
>She makes absolutely no noise when she walks.
-
126.
>Her wing hangs limply down at her side, grazing the floor as she goes.
-
127.
>Her tail drags like a snake behind her.
-
128.
>And that smile...
-
129.
>"Please don't leave me, Anonymous."
-
130.
>You give her a sad look and open the fridge.
-
131.
"I'm not going anywhere, Derby. I promise I won't leave you."
-
132.
>Derby sits down on the kitchen floor and her eyes focus on you again as you open a beer with shaky hands.
-
133.
>"Promise... You, promise Derby. Okay."
-
134.
>With a nod, she looks down at her hoof.
-
135.
>You take a big drink and watch her examine herself.
-
136.
"Are you okay, Derby?"
-
137.
>She whispers so softly, you barely make it out.
-
138.
>"I promise I am not experiencing pain..."
-
139.
-
140.
>>32051797
-
141.
>You freeze in place, the hairs on your neck rising again.
-
142.
"What was that?"
-
143.
>Derby looks up at you again.
-
144.
>Her eyes are looking in different directions.
-
145.
>One at the ground, one at the beer in your hand.
-
146.
>Slowly, the eyes move and focus on you.
-
147.
>It takes everything you have to not look away.
-
148.
>Her smile seems to get larger.
-
149.
>"Please don't leave me, Anonymous."
-
150.
>You sigh and take another large drink.
-
151.
"I promised I wouldn't, remember?"
-
152.
>Derby finally closes her eyes.
-
153.
>"I remember something. You made a promise. You promised, Anonymous."
-
154.
>Her eyes open again and seem to glow brighter.
-
155.
>"Anonymous promised Derby. Derby remembers. Please don't leave me."
-
156.
>You won't get any sleep tonight.
-
157.
-
158.
>>32051801
-
159.
>A blanket is pulled over your head.
-
160.
>Only a bit of your face sticks out.
-
161.
>Enough to breathe and stare at your bedroom wall.
-
162.
>Behind you, you can feel them.
-
163.
>Those glowing crimson eyes are burning into the back of your head.
-
164.
>Derby seems to have one setting when it comes to personal space.
-
165.
>Magnetic.
-
166.
>Wherever you go, Derby follows.
-
167.
>Always asking you to please not leave her.
-
168.
>She crawled up into your bed when you went to lay down.
-
169.
>Because of the instruction manual being in Chinese (with no damn diagrams either), you don't know where Derby's power switch is.
-
170.
>Does she even have one?
-
171.
>How long does her battery charge last?
-
172.
>For twenty minutes now, Derby has sat behind you, watching you try to sleep in your blanket cacoon.
-
173.
>Just staring at you.
-
174.
-
175.
>>32052228
-
176.
>There's got to be some way to change her settings.
-
177.
>Tomorrow, you will mess with that.
-
178.
>But for now, you need to sleep.
-
179.
>You have work tomorrow.
-
180.
>As you think of work, your eyes begin to slowly close.
-
181.
>"Anonymous."
-
182.
>The soft melancholy voice snaps your eyes back open.
-
183.
"What is it, Derby?"
-
184.
>You feel her weight shift behind you.
-
185.
>Your cell phone charging on the bedside table creates enough light to cast a shadow of Derby on the wall in front of you.
-
186.
>You can see that she is stretching her wing toward the ceiling again.
-
187.
>It's an ominous sight.
-
188.
>"Derby thought you were leaving."
-
189.
>You sigh and pull the blankets tighter around your face.
-
190.
"I'm just trying to go to sleep."
-
191.
>Silence fills the room.
-
192.
>"Please don't sleep. Derby will be alone."
-
193.
-
194.
>>32052232
-
195.
>Damn it.
-
196.
>You sit up suddenly and grab the TV remote off your bedside table.
-
197.
"How about I let you watch something while I sleep?"
-
198.
>The glowing eyes stare back at you in the dark.
-
199.
>You turn on your small bedroom tv.
-
200.
>The History Channel is on, showing a documentary about the Titanic.
-
201.
"How about this?"
-
202.
>You look back to Derby.
-
203.
>She stares at the TV, both eyes focused.
-
204.
>It seems like she's entranced.
-
205.
"Derby?"
-
206.
>You wave a hand in front of her face.
-
207.
>She keeps on staring straight ahead, focused on the show.
-
208.
"Nice."
-
209.
>Laying back down, you pull the blanket comfortably up to your chin and sigh.
-
210.
>Finally, some sleep.
-
211.
>You stare at the ceiling.
-
212.
>Looking one last time at Derby, your breath catches in your throat.
-
213.
>Her head is turned back toward you.
-
214.
>Those red eyes glow like embers.
-
215.
>"I like this. Thank you, Anonymous."
-
216.
-
217.
-
218.
>>32052239
-
219.
>You move your feet against each other under the blankets.
-
220.
"Uh, that's good. You should keep watching then."
-
221.
>Derby just smiles at you.
-
222.
>The glow from the TV behind her makes the sight even more unnerving.
-
223.
>"Goodnight, Anonymous."
-
224.
>Her head turns back around and she is hypnotized by the tv again.
-
225.
>You reach over to your bedside table once more, this time opening the drawer.
-
226.
>Pulling out your bottle of cough syrup, you open it and take a quick swig.
-
227.
>You want to fall asleep as quickly as possible.
-
228.
>Deeply asleep.
-
229.
>The faint noises of the Titanic documentary carry to your ears for a while.
-
230.
>Then the effects of the diphenhydramine start to take hold.
-
231.
>You feel Derby rest her wing on your leg.
-
232.
>As you fall into a drug-induced sleep, you feel a twinge of guilt.
-
233.
>It feels like you are leaving her, in a way.
-
234.
-
235.
-
236.
>>32052244
-
237.
>The sound of your alarm wakes you up.
-
238.
>You turn it off and groan against your pillow.
-
239.
>A dreamless sleep.
-
240.
>It's time to get ready for work.
-
241.
>First, a shower-
-
242.
>You go to move, but now that your mind is slowly waking up, you notice a weight near your legs.
-
243.
>Between your legs.
-
244.
>You look down and are met with a red-eyed stare.
-
245.
>Derby lays curled up between your legs.
-
246.
>The TV is still on in the background.
-
247.
>Derby smiles at you.
-
248.
>"Good morning, Anonymous."
-
249.
>You yawn and hoist yourself up.
-
250.
"Mornin'. Did you sleep, Derby?"
-
251.
>Derby's eyes wander off.
-
252.
>"Yes. Derby slept for three hours, forty-six minutes and eight seconds."
-
253.
>You chuckle and rub your eyes.
-
254.
"That's pretty precise. I hope your sleep-mode was enjoyable."
-
255.
>You get out of bed and stretch.
-
256.
>"Derby had a dream."
-
257.
-
258.
-
259.
>>32052254
-
260.
>As you smoke a cigarette out on your back balcony, Derby watches you.
-
261.
>It's been a long time since you have smoked.
-
262.
>Your nerves need it.
-
263.
>Just as always, she smiles.
-
264.
>Since you had one of those closed off balconys, you let the ponybot follow you outside.
-
265.
>She followed you into the bathroom when you did your morning routine.
-
266.
>It was kind of awkward taking a piss with her standing right behind you.
-
267.
>Luckily, she didn't try to follow you into the shower when you went in.
-
268.
>She just sat outside the curtain.
-
269.
>Smiling.
-
270.
>You tried to ask her what her 'dream' was about.
-
271.
>But she only stated she didn't remember.
-
272.
>It's hard for you to believe that she can even have a dream.
-
273.
>Maybe it's a pre-programmed response?
-
274.
>As you smoke, you watch one of Derby's eyes follow a bird soaring through the sky.
-
275.
>She turns her head to track its movement.
-
276.
>When it is out of sight, Derby extends her wing out and looks over at it.
-
277.
>You can practically hear the gears turning in her head.
-
278.
>Maybe you should have just left the wing detached...
-
279.
-
280.
>>32057142
-
281.
"Derby, do you want to fly?"
-
282.
>The ponybot looks away from her wing and back to you.
-
283.
>The wing drops and hangs limply at her side.
-
284.
>For a moment she doesn't say anything.
-
285.
>Then-
-
286.
>"No. I don't like that."
-
287.
>Your brow furrows.
-
288.
>Shouldn't she be programmed with an 'instinct' to fly?
-
289.
>"Derby doesn't want to fly. Derby wants to stay on the ground, with you."
-
290.
>Oh, that's actually kind of cute.
-
291.
>It would be a lot cuter if she didn't sound like her pet fish just died though.
-
292.
>"Derby will never leave Anonymous. Derby promises."
-
293.
>You look back at the sky, smoke drifting past your eyes.
-
294.
"Yeah..."
-
295.
-
296.
>>32057144
-
297.
-
-
298.
-
299.
>You have to leave.
-
300.
>It's time to go to work.
-
301.
"Derby, I have to go to work now, okay?"
-
302.
>She sits on the couch, smiling at you as you put your shoes on.
-
303.
"Hey, I didn't think of this, but are you going to be fine with your battery life while I'm at work?"
-
304.
>Derby looks down.
-
305.
>"My charge is at seventy-nine percent. Derby will plug herself in to charge when battery life drops below forty percent."
-
306.
>Well that takes care of that.
-
307.
>You stand up and take out your car keys.
-
308.
"Okay, Derby. I'm going now. Maybe you should just go into sleep-mode until I'm back?"
-
309.
>She just stares at you from the couch.
-
310.
>You really don't want to leave her alone in your apartment.
-
311.
>Didn't really think of that when you decided to order a ponybot.
-
312.
"See you later."
-
313.
>You exit your apartment and close the door behind you.
-
314.
>Just as the latch catches, something slams into the door on the other side.
-
315.
-
316.
>>32057146
-
317.
>It makes you recoil away.
-
318.
>You can hear Derby slamming her hooves against the wood.
-
319.
>It sounds like even her wing is beating against it.
-
320.
>"Anonymous? Where are you?"
-
321.
>Her sad little voice is muffled through the door.
-
322.
>"Anonymous, don't leave Derby!"
-
323.
>You quickly open the door back up.
-
324.
>Derby sits smiling up at you.
-
325.
>"Hello, Anonymous. Welcome home."
-
326.
>You sigh and rub your temple.
-
327.
>This isn't going to work.
-
328.
>Thinking quickly, you enter the apartment and close the door behind you.
-
329.
"Derby, I have to go to work. But how about I leave the TV on for you?"
-
330.
>Derby follows you over to the couch silently.
-
331.
>You pick up your remote and turn the TV on.
-
332.
>Derby's attention is drawn to it immediately.
-
333.
>Both of her eyes zero in on the screen.
-
334.
>She's completely transfixed, standing in front of the couch.
-
335.
>With a chuckle, you bend down and pick her up.
-
336.
-
337.
>>32057149
-
338.
>She's light.
-
339.
>Maybe around forty pounds.
-
340.
>Her fur is soft, and her wings are covered by a surprisingly high quality batch of synthetic feathers.
-
341.
>But you can still feel the solidness of metal and polymer below her coat.
-
342.
>Her eyes stay fixed to the commercial on TV, but her front hooves wrap around your neck suddenly.
-
343.
>You can't place her down on the couch.
-
344.
>She has you wrapped in a tight hug.
-
345.
>Her head nuzzles under your chin as she watches the commercial over your shoulder.
-
346.
>Suddenly, you want to call in sick to work.
-
347.
>This is what you wanted when you ordered Derby.
-
348.
>You shift your arms a bit and return the hug.
-
349.
>Her belly is against your torso.
-
350.
>Unbreathing.
-
351.
>There is no warmth coming from her.
-
352.
>But the feeling of her squeezing you close and the feeling of her coarse mane against your neck makes you close your eyes.
-
353.
>'Don't leave me, please.'
-
354.
-
355.
>>32057154
-
356.
>No.
-
357.
>You have to go to work.
-
358.
>With effort, you grab Derby's sides and peel her away from you.
-
359.
>She hangs suspended in your outstretched arms, still staring at the TV behind you.
-
360.
>You place her on the couch, her long tail draping over the edge and down to the floor.
-
361.
"Derby, I'm leaving now."
-
362.
>She stares straight at the TV.
-
363.
>"I want to watch Titanic."
-
364.
>You raise an eyebrow.
-
365.
>Oh, that's right.
-
366.
>Last night she watched that documentary.
-
367.
>Luckily, you actually have a copy of The Titanic on DVD.
-
368.
>A gift long ago from your mother.
-
369.
>You go over to your DVD rack by the TV and find it.
-
370.
>Popping it into the DVD player, you grab the remote and set it up.
-
371.
>After a short explaination of the controls to Derby, you get ready to leave again.
-
372.
>Derby sits on the couch, lost in the world of the doomed ship.
-
373.
>Her eyes seem to be glowing in waves.
-
374.
>Like she's processing information.
-
375.
>After work, you will plug her in and see what you can do about some of her settings.
-
376.
>She lays down with her head resting on her front hooves, her red eyes never leaving the screen.
-
377.
>You open the front door and look back at her.
-
378.
"I'm going to work, Derby."
-
379.
>She doesn't move.
-
380.
"I'll be back around five."
-
381.
>Her eyes are one with the TV.
-
382.
>With that, you step outside and close the door behind you, locking it.
-
383.
>The only sound from the other side is the faint music from The Titanic, taking Derby to another world.
-
384.
-
385.
>>32057158
-
386.
>Work was shit.
-
387.
>You work in a restaurant, as a cook.
-
388.
>It's not glorious, but it pays the bills.
-
389.
>Barely.
-
390.
>You drive home in your piece of shit car.
-
391.
>Right after work, you stopped at the corner store to pick up some stuff before going home.
-
392.
>Some fresh cigarettes, beer (Pabst, because it's cheap) and another bottle of cough syrup.
-
393.
>You feel sort of gutted about picking up smoking again.
-
394.
>It's been over six months since you quit.
-
395.
>And the NyQuil-
-
396.
>Well, it seems you are going to have to start leaving the TV in your room on for Derby while you sleep.
-
397.
>The NyQuil will help.
-
398.
>Derby was on your mind all day.
-
399.
>You pull into your apartment complex and park, flicking your spent cigarette out of the window before rolling it up.
-
400.
>Before you can even turn your car off, your phone starts going off in your pocket.
-
401.
>You cut the engine and dig your phone out.
-
402.
>The screen reads 'MOM'.
-
403.
"Damn..."
-
404.
-
405.
>>32057447
-
406.
>You light another cigarette before you answer.
-
407.
"Hello?"
-
408.
>"Where are you?"
-
409.
>Her voice is loud and you press the 'volume down' button a couple of times.
-
410.
"I just got home from work."
-
411.
>"Oh. I'm making dinner."
-
412.
>That seems like a blunt anecdote, but you immediately understand the implication.
-
413.
"I can't come over tonight. I'm too tired."
-
414.
>You lean your seat back and blow a big cloud of smoke at the roof of your car.
-
415.
>"You haven't been over in two months."
-
416.
>Has it been that long?
-
417.
>"Well, whatever."
-
418.
>She's annoyed.
-
419.
>"I have mail for you. Come get it whenever."
-
420.
>It's annoying that your mail still sometimes shows up there.
-
421.
"I'll come over this-"
-
422.
>"It's a letter for debt collection. How much do you owe?"
-
423.
>Your heart sinks.
-
424.
-
425.
>>32057454
-
426.
"You opened my mail?"
-
427.
>"It came to my house. Your father wanted me to throw it out. How much do you owe?"
-
428.
>You close your eyes and let the cigarette burn between your lips.
-
429.
"I don't want to talk about it. I'll come over this weekend to pick it up, okay?"
-
430.
>"When are you going to get your shit together, Ano-"
-
431.
>You hang up on her and throw your phone down on the passenger seat.
-
432.
>For a while, you sit staring out of the windshield at the cardboard dumpster in front of your car.
-
433.
>The cigarette in your mouth has burned out and a large portion of ash drops into your lap.
-
434.
>You groan and get out of your car, grabbing the plastic bag from the corner store and slamming the door shut.
-
435.
>Today was a shitty day.
-
436.
-
437.
>>32057460
-
438.
-
-
439.
-
440.
>Derby is exactly where you left her.
-
441.
>You enter your apartment and quickly close the door behind you.
-
442.
>Derby is still on the couch, staring at the TV.
-
443.
>The Titanic is still playing.
-
444.
>She must have watched it at least two times already.
-
445.
"I'm home, Derby."
-
446.
>Her eyes never leave the TV.
-
447.
>You walk over and pick up the remote, pointing it at the screen.
-
448.
>When it goes black, Derby hops right off the couch and slinks over to you.
-
449.
>She sits at your feet and smiles up at you, one eye drifting off.
-
450.
>"Welcome home, Anonymous. Derby missed you."
-
451.
>You set the plastic bag on your coffee table.
-
452.
"I missed you too. How was your day?"
-
453.
>Derby's wing suddenly reaches forward and brushes against your leg.
-
454.
>You stand still as her wing pats your knee.
-
455.
>"Derby doesn't remember."
-
456.
-
457.
>>32057465
-
458.
>She smiles up at you as her wing continues to slide around your pant leg.
-
459.
>Is she doing it on purpose?
-
460.
"Well, it seems like you watched Titanic a few times."
-
461.
>You pull your leg away from her and pull a beer from out of the bag.
-
462.
"I'm gonna make something to eat and then we can plug you into the computer, okay?"
-
463.
>She just watches you open your can of beer with her smile.
-
464.
>As you take a drink, your eyes are drawn to the red '23' on her forehead.
-
465.
>You lean down and brush your thumb across it.
-
466.
>Some of her mane slides over the back of your hand.
-
467.
>Her eyes cross, following your hand and her mouth opens silently.
-
468.
>The painted numbers feel indented, like they we roughly stamped into her skull.
-
469.
>"Anonymous, how was your day?"
-
470.
>Her wing comes up again and starts doing its strange patting motion against your wrist.
-
471.
>Now you are aware of what is happening.
-
472.
>Just as you were curious about the numbers on her forehead, Derby must be curious about you.
-
473.
>Her wing seems to be examining you.
-
474.
-
475.
>>32057467
-
476.
>You straighten up again and take another drink.
-
477.
"It was... Good."
-
478.
>You grab the bag from the table and walk to the kitchen.
-
479.
>Derby follows, her wing brushing the back of your legs.
-
480.
>It feels sort of surreal-
-
481.
>A robot trying to physically examine you.
-
482.
>But you don't mind.
-
483.
>You turn on the kitchen light.
-
484.
>It's a small kitchen.
-
485.
>A dingy kitchen.
-
486.
>The yellowed light makes it seem like the place is always grimy, no matter how much you clean.
-
487.
>You set your bag on your slightly tilted table and pull the cans of beer out.
-
488.
>In the corner is your small fridge.
-
489.
>You open it and place the beer inside.
-
490.
>Aside from the beer now, your fridge is pathetically sparse.
-
491.
>A carton of eggs.
-
492.
>Some pickles.
-
493.
>Some expired chicken breast.
-
494.
>'When are you going to get your shit together?'
-
495.
>You quickly close the fridge and sit at the kitchen table with your beer.
-
496.
>The light flickers overhead.
-
497.
>You sigh and stare at the scratched up table top.
-
498.
>Without thinking, you reach into the bag again and pull out the NyQuil.
-
499.
>Sleep is all you want right now.
-
500.
>You open the medicine and take a large drink.
-
501.
-
502.
>>32057473
-
503.
>It makes you shiver.
-
504.
>A sudden noise draws your attention.
-
505.
>Derby is pushing your other wooden chair toward where you sit.
-
506.
>She slides it across the linoleum until it bumps against your chair.
-
507.
>With a smile, she crawls up on the chair beside you.
-
508.
"Derby?"
-
509.
>The ponybot takes a seat next to you and leans her head against your side.
-
510.
>Her wing wraps around your back.
-
511.
>She moves her head against your ribs, like she's nuzzling you.
-
512.
>"How was your day, Anonymous?"
-
513.
>That makes your chest tighten up.
-
514.
>You take another drink of beer.
-
515.
>With one arm, you reach around Derby and pull her small body against you.
-
516.
>Your eyes wander over to the counter.
-
517.
>Beside your microwave sits a stack of mail.
-
518.
>All of the letters state the same thing.
-
519.
>'How much do you owe?'
-
520.
>"Did you have a good day, Anonymous?"
-
521.
-
522.
>>32057478
-
523.
>You close your eyes and take another drink.
-
524.
"It was bad. But I'm doing better now."
-
525.
>Derby's wing pats your back.
-
526.
>"Derby wants to be better too."
-
527.
>You look down at the top of her head.
-
528.
>The light flickers again and for a moment only the red glow of her eyes light the room.
-
529.
"How are you feeling, Derby?"
-
530.
>In the silence that follows, you fill yourself with more alcohol.
-
531.
>The cough syrup feels heavy in your gut.
-
532.
>"Derby was lonely."
-
533.
>So she does remember.
-
534.
>That hollow feeling returns.
-
535.
>"But Derby learned."
-
536.
>Your hand brushes over her side.
-
537.
>Across the notch where her missing wing should be attached.
-
538.
"Learned what?"
-
539.
>Her wing moves up to your neck and the feathers slide across the bare skin of your neck.
-
540.
>Goosebumps spread over your flesh and you shiver again.
-
541.
>"Derby learned that if she is lonely, she can press play."
-
542.
-
543.
>>32057481
-
544.
>Press play?
-
545.
>Ah, she means the DVD.
-
546.
>It's a good thing you actually had that.
-
547.
>You nod and finish your beer.
-
548.
"That's good. I don't want you to be lonely."
-
549.
>Finally, your pathetic kitchen light gives out.
-
550.
>You are left sitting in darkness.
-
551.
>Save for Derby's glowing eyes.
-
552.
>"Can we press play?"
-
553.
>You stand up, Derby's wing sliding down your body.
-
554.
>You open the fridge and grab a new beer, throwing your empty one into the trash.
-
555.
"Alright. Let me smoke a cigarette and then we can watch Titanic together, okay?"
-
556.
>Her eyes stare back at you in the dark.
-
557.
>"Anonymous?"
-
558.
>You open your beer.
-
559.
>"Are we lonely?"
-
560.
>The sound of your neighbors arguing next door comes through the thin wall.
-
561.
>You reach into your pocket and take out your cigarettes.
-
562.
>A dog starts barking outside as the sound of police sirens scream past on the street below.
-
563.
"Let's press play, Derby."
-
564.
-
565.
>>32057483
-
566.
>It's hard to say exactly when you fell asleep.
-
567.
>You don't remember.
-
568.
>NyQuil will do that to you.
-
569.
>The first thing you notice when you awake on your couch is the wetness on your waist.
-
570.
>Second, the sun is trying to shine into your living room through the closed blackout curtains.
-
571.
>Third, the wetness in your pants turns out to be from the spilled beer can that was in your hand when you fell asleep.
-
572.
>Your waist and a spot on the couch are soaked.
-
573.
>This is not the first time your couch got a beer bath.
-
574.
>The fourth thing you notice is-
-
575.
>"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?!"
-
576.
>"SpongeBob SquarePants."
-
577.
>Your blurry eyes look up to where the SpongeBob theme song is playing on the TV.
-
578.
>Derby is standing only a foot or so away from the screen.
-
579.
>As she sings along, she shakes her butt from side to side.
-
580.
>Her wing is held high and her long tail swishes on the ground behind her.
-
581.
>"If nautical nonsense be something you wish!"
-
582.
>Derby keeps shaking her back end in an awkward jig and sings back to the screen.
-
583.
>"SpongeBob SquarePants."
-
584.
-
585.
>>32067478
-
586.
>Her singing voice is flat and morose sounding.
-
587.
>But she seems to be happy, dancing and bobbing her head.
-
588.
>Your head is killing you.
-
589.
>And your stomach is sick.
-
590.
"Derby..."
-
591.
>The pony turns her head around while still shaking her butt.
-
592.
>Her ever-present smile greets you.
-
593.
>"Good morning, Anonymous. SpongeBob SquarePants."
-
594.
>You take the empty beer can from beside your waist and place it on the table in front of you, where six other empty cans stand.
-
595.
"Yeah. SpongeBob SquarePants."
-
596.
>You grab your phone from off the armrest and check the time.
-
597.
>Two in the afternoon.
-
598.
>Derby turns back to the TV.
-
599.
>Even though the song is over, she still jitters a bit.
-
600.
>Luckily, you don't have work today.
-
601.
>Your head throbs.
-
602.
>There's a nasty taste in the back of your throat.
-
603.
"Ugh..."
-
604.
-
605.
>>32067487
-
606.
>You grab your pack of cigarettes from the coffee table and take one out.
-
607.
>Never have you smoked in your apartment, but right now you can't find the intestinal fortitude to make your way outside.
-
608.
>So you light upright on the couch.
-
609.
>"Derby likes this show."
-
610.
>You lean back on the couch and look at Derby.
-
611.
>Her head moves slightly, following the movements of characters on the screen.
-
612.
>Without an ashtray, you grab the beer can you just set down and ash your cigarette into it.
-
613.
>"SpongeBob SquarePants."
-
614.
>Today you will plug Derby back in and examine her settings.
-
615.
>Today you will.
-
616.
>But after a nap.
-
617.
>You're soaked in beer and your head feels like ground beef.
-
618.
>There's no point in trying to deal with this right now.
-
619.
>So you take the half-empty bottle of NyQuil from the table beside the couch and have a drink from that.
-
620.
>At least you don't have to work today.
-
621.
>There's really nothing for you to do.
-
622.
>So you finish your cigarette and drift back to sleep.
-
623.
>The last thing you remember is the sight of Derby bouncing happily in front of the television.
-
624.
-
625.
>>32067495
-
626.
-
-
627.
-
628.
>Today is the seventeenth.
-
629.
>Your phone bill comes out today.
-
630.
>The TV and internet comes out in two days.
-
631.
>And the car insurance is today as well.
-
632.
>One more paycheck this month and then your rent is due on the first.
-
633.
>You sit at your kitchen table, looking at the sheet of paper where you've tracked bills.
-
634.
>There's not much to work with in terms of money.
-
635.
>It took a lot of saving to buy Derby.
-
636.
>That's part of the reason why your fridge is so bare now.
-
637.
>You put your phone down and creak back in your chair, sighing and running a hand through your hair.
-
638.
>Derby watches from her chair right beside you.
-
639.
>You take a drink of beer and pat her head.
-
640.
"I have to go shopping, Derby."
-
641.
>You are hungry.
-
642.
>It's a bad idea to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach, but you desperately need food.
-
643.
>It's a good thing Derby doesn't need to eat.
-
644.
>"I want to go shopping with Anonymous."
-
645.
>You finish your last can of beer and toss it into the overflowing trash.
-
646.
"No. You have to stay here, Derby."
-
647.
>"Please don't leave Derby alone."
-
648.
"I'm just going to the store, I'll be right ba-"
-
649.
>There's a sudden knock at your front door.
-
650.
-
651.
>>32067503
-
652.
>No one ever visits in the evening.
-
653.
>No one ever visits.
-
654.
>You get up and go into the living room, with Derby following on your heels and her wing brushing against your legs.
-
655.
>Going to the front door, you look out through the peephole.
-
656.
>Your mother stands on the other side of the door.
-
657.
>The sight makes a sinking feeling in your stomach.
-
658.
>There is no way you can let her see Derby.
-
659.
>So you pick the pony up and rush to your bedroom.
-
660.
>Derby wraps her legs aground your neck and you almost run into a wall when her wing comes up to pat your face.
-
661.
>"I like it when you hold me, Anonymous."
-
662.
>You peel her off and set her down on your bed.
-
663.
"Okay, Derby... Please stay in here. Don't come out until I come get you, okay?"
-
664.
>Derby just sits and smiles at you.
-
665.
>One of her eyes drifts down.
-
666.
>As insurance for her compliance, you turn the TV on.
-
667.
>Her attention is drawn to the screen instantly.
-
668.
>It's still on the History Channel, so hopefully Ancient Aliens will keep her distracted.
-
669.
>With that, you leave your bedroom and close the door behind you.
-
670.
-
671.
>>32067517
-
672.
>Outside, you can hear your mom pounding on the front door.
-
673.
>From the kitchen, the sound of your phone buzzing on the table reaches your ears.
-
674.
>You bound over and unlock the three different locks on your door and open it.
-
675.
>Your mother's grumpy face stares at you.
-
676.
>"Why didn't you answer your phone?"
-
677.
"I didn't know you were planning on coming over."
-
678.
>You can see her eyes scanning the inside of your apartment behind you.
-
679.
>Shifting your body in the door frame, you try to block her view.
-
680.
>"I was out at my book club, so I decided to come by and check on you. So you're smoking again, huh?"
-
681.
>You try not to glare at her.
-
682.
>It's really hard.
-
683.
"Yeah. Sorry, but I'm actually going to go to the grocery store soon."
-
684.
>She is still trying to look into your apartment.
-
685.
>"At nine at night?"
-
686.
"I was asleep today. Walmart is open twenty-four hours."
-
687.
>"Are you going to invite me in?" She snaps.
-
688.
"I'm about to leave."
-
689.
>She makes her impatient face and you can tell she doesn't care about anything you have to say.
-
690.
>"I have something for you."
-
691.
>You see that down in the parking lot, there are three guys standing near a car, smoking.
-
692.
>They all look like tweekers and are watching you speak with your mother.
-
693.
"Alright, come on in."
-
694.
-
695.
>>32067535
-
696.
>You move aside and your mother rushes past you.
-
697.
>Once the door is closed and locked, you turn and see that your mom is staring down at your coffee table.
-
698.
>It's cluttered with the usual mess of papers, cups, knick-nacks and used plates.
-
699.
>But now there are empty beer cans with ash on the tops, a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of NyQuil.
-
700.
>"You're smoking in here?"
-
701.
>You sigh and go to do damage control on the kitchen before she can see it.
-
702.
"Only a bit. I didn't-"
-
703.
>"That's disgusting."
-
704.
>You roll your eyes and march into the kitchen.
-
705.
>There's nothing you can do.
-
706.
>The pile of dirty dishes in the sink.
-
707.
>The trash overflowing next to the fridge.
-
708.
>The mess on the table.
-
709.
>So instead of trying to mask the filth, you just grab your phone.
-
710.
>Your mother comes into the kitchen and makes a disgusted 'tch' sound.
-
711.
>"I wasn't expecting it to be this bad."
-
712.
"Yeah. I get it. I really have to get going soon. I haven't eaten today."
-
713.
>She steps over an empty box of cereal on the ground and over to the table, acting like anything she touches will try to bite her.
-
714.
>"Here."
-
715.
>She places a slip of paper down on the table.
-
716.
>You lean over and look as she takes a pen out of her purse.
-
717.
"What is that?"
-
718.
>"How much do you owe?"
-
719.
>She starts filling out a check.
-
720.
>Your stomach clenches and you lean back.
-
721.
"Listen, I don't need-"
-
722.
>"How much do you owe?"
-
723.
>You know she's not going to give this up.
-
724.
>With a sigh, you run a hand through your hair.
-
725.
"Three thousand..."
-
726.
>She looks up from the check and gives you a look.
-
727.
>That look hurts more than anything.
-
728.
>A mixture of irritation and disappointment.
-
729.
>With a 'tch', she finishes filling out the check.
-
730.
>"I'm not going to ask why. I'm not going to tell you how to fix what you have done."
-
731.
>She folds the check in half and slides it in front of you.
-
732.
>"Just get it together."
-
733.
>You look into her cold eyes.
-
734.
>"For the love of God, Anon. Get. Your shit. Together."
-
735.
-
736.
>>32067541
-
737.
>The only thing you can do is stare at her with your mouth slightly open.
-
738.
>Without a word, she hoists her purse up on her shoulder and exits your kitchen.
-
739.
>You stare down at the check in front of you.
-
740.
>It seems too heavy to pick up from the beat up table.
-
741.
>The sound of your front door slamming makes you look up.
-
742.
>You sit staring at the door of the kitchen in silence.
-
743.
>"Anonymous?"
-
744.
>Derby pokes her head into the kitchen.
-
745.
>She smiles at you, on eye looking over toward the stove.
-
746.
>"Is it okay for Derby to come out?"
-
747.
>She's already-
-
748.
>You offer her a weak smile.
-
749.
"Yes, Derby. Thank you."
-
750.
>The ponybot walks silently into the kitchen.
-
751.
>Without a word, she crawls up into your lap.
-
752.
>You shift in your chair, caught off guard.
-
753.
>Derby wraps her hooves around your neck and hugs you tightly.
-
754.
>Her mane slides across your face in an orange mesh.
-
755.
>"I am your Carpathia."
-
756.
>That makes you blink in confusion.
-
757.
>Derby's wing wraps over your head.
-
758.
>It almost feels like a hand pulling you closer.
-
759.
>"I will save you from drowning, Anonymous."
-
760.
>You feel the tears welling up in your eyes.
-
761.
"Damn..."
-
762.
-
763.
>>32067547
-
764.
-
-
765.
-
766.
>You were wrong.
-
767.
>All wrong.
-
768.
>The calculations were all wrong.
-
769.
>There's less money in your bank account than you thought.
-
770.
>It turns out you only have fifty dollars left.
-
771.
>Fifty dollars to your name.
-
772.
>After the phone bill and insurance, you don't even have enough to pay the TV and internet bill.
-
773.
>And now there is even less after your trip to the store.
-
774.
>After checking your bank account and finding your meager funds, you had to make a choice.
-
775.
>So now, as you stand in your kitchen looking at your 'groceries', you feel drained.
-
776.
>The box of ramen noodles and cans of beefaroni will have to last you for the next week.
-
777.
>You can do it.
-
778.
>Of course- you didn't NEED the beer, NyQuil and cigarettes.
-
779.
>Of course.
-
780.
>But you bought them anyway.
-
781.
>You light a cigarette and take a drink of NyQuil as you listen to the sounds of The Titanic playing on the TV in the living room.
-
782.
>The feeling of the syrup sliding down your throat helps.
-
783.
>You ash your cigarette into the sink and look over at the table.
-
784.
>Your mother's check still lays in the same place.
-
785.
>Three thousand dollars.
-
786.
>You can pay off your debt.
-
787.
>Or-
-
788.
>You could use some to buy food...
-
789.
-
790.
>>32067550
-
791.
>No.
-
792.
>You have to get your shit together.
-
793.
>There's a vibration in your pocket and you slap your hand to your leg.
-
794.
>Your phone.
-
795.
>Taking it out, you turn on the screen.
-
796.
>A text message.
-
797.
>From your dad.
-
798.
>With your heart kicking up suddenly, you open the message.
-
799.
>'After you cash the check don't bother talking to us for a while. Thank your mother then handle your business.'
-
800.
>You stare at that message for a while.
-
801.
>Long enough to go through the rest of your cigarette and on to a new one.
-
802.
>Putting your phone on the counter, you open a Pabst and take a good long drink.
-
803.
>Through the wall, you can hear your neighbors start their yelling match.
-
804.
>There's the sound of glass breaking and a woman starts crying.
-
805.
>With your beer, you leave the kitchen and walk into the living room.
-
806.
>There's no light, save for the TV.
-
807.
>And Derby's crimson eyes.
-
808.
>She sits on the couch, smiling at the screen.
-
809.
>You walk down the hall and to your bathroom.
-
810.
>Closing the door, you turn on the light and take another drink of beer.
-
811.
>You catch a sight of yourself in the mirror.
-
812.
>It makes you turn away.
-
813.
>You get into the bathtub and sit down.
-
814.
>In one drink, you finish your beer.
-
815.
>Swallowing, you crush the can in one hand and throw it violently at the door.
-
816.
>It bounces off and slides across the linoleum.
-
817.
-
818.
>>32067555
-
819.
>You pull your knees to your chest and hang your head between them with your eyes closed.
-
820.
>When is this going to stop?
-
821.
>You are twenty-seven.
-
822.
>When do things get better?
-
823.
"It's too late..."
-
824.
>The door to the bathroom opens.
-
825.
>You don't look up.
-
826.
>Derby walks into the bathroom and you know she is staring at you sitting in the bathtub.
-
827.
>Smiling.
-
828.
>You can hear the sound of her shifting around and a clicking noise.
-
829.
>Lifting your head slowly, you turn to her.
-
830.
>She stands smiling at you.
-
831.
>Using her wing like a hand, she points the TV remote at you and clicks it over and over.
-
832.
>Pressing 'play'.
-
833.
>Finally, you cry.
-
834.
>You sob like a baby, sitting in your bathtub with your knees pulled tightly to your chest.
-
835.
>"What is wrong with you, Anonymous? Derby doesn't know... What is wrong with you?"
TEXT
173
0
6636 36.69 KB 835
6636 36.69 KB 835
by yamma
by yamma