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[COMPLETE] Kingnon Snippet IV: Buy One, Get One Free
By HearthsongCreated: 2026-07-22 08:20:30
Updated: 2026-07-22 08:37:07
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A little bit of lore explanation for this one before we get started: I personally subscribe to the headcanon that Discord fucked up nature to an absurd degree to the point that Ponies need to regulate fucking EVERYTHING to make up for it. As such, their ability to take the burden of heaving the heavenly bodies of the Sun and Moon around away from a metric fuckton of Unicorns was a huge factor as to why Luna and Celestia get to sit on thrones and eat whatever they want. So that's what she's referring to later on in the green. Not a lot of Anon in this one, so I'm probably not going to post it in the thread. Still enough to count it as a Snippet to me, though.
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>Ah, the Astral Plane
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>It's another lovely day in this glinting, shining, never ending void
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>Or perhaps it's another night?
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>Even after all your time spent here you couldn't really tell what time of day it was
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>Or what time it was
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>Or... what year it was
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>Mostly just a lot of floating
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>Floating and getting assailed by massive screens featuring memories of your failure
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>Your arrogance
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>Your inability to see what should have been obvious
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>(You) are Princess Celestia, and if you've learned anything in whatever amount of time you've spent in this Plane
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>It's that you're a bit of a fuck-up
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>After the banishment of your baby sister Luna, you tried so hard to be strong for yourself, the memory your parents, and most importantly, your little ponies
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>Despite the necessity of it all, you NEVER wanted to hurt your sister
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>And with her gone, it was the least you could do for her to keep the Kingdom you two had presided over for centuries together while you waited for her sojourn to conclude
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>... You made it about a hoofful of decades before the plans to get her back began to form in your mind
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>You knew full well that there was no way she wouldn't want to continue your battle this early, but you've also been slightly poisoned by dozens upon dozens of shower arguments where you manage to talk her down that surely would work outside the confines of a tiny room with water pouring on your face
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>And so it was, three-hundred years into her banishment that you finally were confident enough in your magical calculations
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>You had checked, quintuple checked, septuple checked...
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>Suffice to say you spent at least a month straight with your eyeballs poring over the runic circles you've carved into a special room deep below Canterlot Castle
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>Far below your royal chambers
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>Far below the crystal mines
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>Given the heat you were feeling you wouldn't be surprised if you were knocking on the center of the planet's door
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>But that was the kind of distance you needed for a ritual on this level
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>You weren't going to leave anything to risk
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>No radiation from the myriad of cleaning spells that kept your castle clean
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>None of the auras from the treasures and artifacts you kept locked away getting curious
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>Even the enchantments placed on your regalia were too much of a variable for you to want to risk polluting this space
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>So there you were, bare as the day you were born
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>Pacing the circles one last time, speaking the rhymes under your breath
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>You remember the sheen of sweat on your coat, how you had to resist the urge to magic up a hoofkerchief to make sure none of it stung your eyes
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>And you knew full well it wasn't from the heat
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>... One doesn't go against the will of Harmony every day, you know
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>Especially in matters so dire
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>Eventually though, your nerves finally gave in
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>You stamped your hooves on the center of the circle to activate it
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>The rhyming chant leapt eagerly from your tongue
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>The rush of power roared under your hooves, and then...
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>You, too, were gone
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>Though you spent several weeks barely hanging on and disoriented, you knew full well where you were when your vision finally returned to you
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>These glinting lights, the soft blue lighting
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>These sights and the lack of sound across a seemingly endless expanse were seared into your mind the day you and Luna had jointly been transported here
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>Your mastery over the heavenly bodies was not an easy process
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>The power required to make such massive stars bend to your will after Discord had thrown them into disarray required more power...
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>... And Harmony had answered your call for it
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>The ambitious Pegasus and Unicorn that had entered this Plane came out as true sisters, able to lead a nation and set chaos right
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>But the warmth and welcoming nature of this Plane was a memory
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>The silence, which once felt reverent, now assaulted your ears with a ringing
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>The tender lights glared
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>And where first your journey had been highlighted, as if praising you for your temerity...
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>... Now only your worst moments were your own company
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>Harmony did not look favorably upon your impatience, your impudence
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>You wondered how long you would have your folly rubbed in your muzzle
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>You wondered how your sister was faring in her own prison
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>If she was even still in it
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>If she even cared that you were nowhere to be found
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>To say nothing of how your little ponies must be faring without either Alicorn to guide them and tend to the Sun and Moon
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>And when those thoughts crept up...
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>You did your best to think about nothing at all
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>So it was that another day passed by in this torment
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>Hours with as little as much thought as possible
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>Trying to keep those familiar knives at bay
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>No screens
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>No accusations
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>And perhaps if you were more coherent you might have taken heed of the long reprieve you were being given
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>As if the Astral Plane was saving up its' energy for... something
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>But you weren't heeding such things, as you might have in your more politically active days
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>So when something most unexpected occurred
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>You were caught quite off guard
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>"... Hello?"
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>"Anonymous?"
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>The sound of a voice wasn't anything new, of course
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>You had heard plenty of the screens, of ponies fawning over you while putting down your sister
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>Of said sister herself screaming and sobbing angrily at you
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>But this voice was not familiar in the slightest
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>Your weary purple eyes cracked open, ears perking up, flitting this way and that as you tried to pinpoint the direction of it
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>"Where am I?"
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>There
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>With a target in sight you stretched out your aching legs
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>Trotting with purpose for the first time in Starswirl knows how long
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>The trek felt like it took hours
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>Perhaps days, or even mere minutes
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>The soft voice sounded scared
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>Like your baby sister, when she had a bad dream
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>The comparison only hastened your step
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>And when you found her...
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>The lavender coat and the mundane mane weren't right, but if only for a moment, you saw somepony else
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"Luna..."
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>The sound of your hoarse voice was enough to startle the Mare, but she recovered quickly enough and offered you a warm, if anxious smile
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>The first positive attention in years, and you didn't cry at the sight of it
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>A lot, at any rate
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>"Oh! Um. Hello, did you bring me here? Do you need help?"
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>In your heyday, such an earnest, generous nature would put you a bit on edge
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>Pony nobles were rarely so freely kind without wanting something
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>But looking in her deep violet eyes you only felt trust
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"I didn't... but I do. I do need help."
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>"Well, we can help each other, then! I'm not really sure where I am, to be honest. I was with my friends, I had just finished a spell, and then..."
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>The mare jolted, her head looking left and right frantically
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>"Oh no, my friends! They didn't come with me, they must be so worried!"
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>Seeing this little pony panic only served to remind you of your subjects, and how they must have felt
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>You reached out with a foreleg to rest on her withers, trying your best to project the calming smile you had spent decades perfecting
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>You got her attention, but the fearful look on her face would suggest you were probably going to have to practice it again
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"Worry not, my little pony. Though we are lost, I am sure if we work together we shall-"
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>"Shit. Twilight! Where are you?! The teleportation spell to this realm isn't exactly precise with where I want to go when I come here so I've been trotting all over--"
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>Both you and your new friend (evidently named Twilight) jolt as a third, masculine voice joins your chorus
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>Though your shock is only beginning as a great, massive stallion gallops up to both of you from the peripheral of your vision
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>Bearing a coat of resplendent green
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>His mane, a shock of darkest black styled to billow upwards rather than rest along his withers
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>A powerful set of beautiful wings...
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>... And a horn whose length rivals your own
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>"There you are. Excellent work, kid! I knew you could puzzle out that old coot's spell. Listen, this is a huge opportunity and - holy shit, Twilight, I only left you alone for five minutes."
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>The excitement in his voice drops to sheer amazement as his gaze flows from Twilight to your visage
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>You imagine you're hosting a similar expression on your face
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>Completely gobsmacked
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>Another Alicorn? Since when? And how did you not run into him during his Ascension? Surely it would have happened here...
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>"... You never cease to amaze me, Twilight Sparkle. Come on. I wanted to do a whole ceremony, bit of a song and dance number, but I think we're going to have to overlap it a bit. Take my hooves, both of you... and, uh, Twilight, get ready for your back to itch a lot when we get out of here, just a heads up."
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>The little Unicorn reaches out without hesitation to take the stallion's forehoof, and seeing that kind of trust allows you to do the same
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>You can see Twilight's mouth opening to ask a question when the Alicorn's horn sparks to life, and your vision flares with nothing but white
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>...
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>...
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>"...You look just like a princess!"
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>A soft, airy voice is the first thing you perceive as your senses return to you
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>It's joined quickly by an almost overwhelming cacophony of noises and sensations
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>The sounds of insect life scuttling through the brush
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>The feeling of an actual breeze cutting across your coat
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>The chill of the night air
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>It's too much to bear after so long
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>You stumble on your hooves, but a wing wraps around your barrel to steady you
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>That familiar voice from earlier calls out
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>"Well of course. She IS a Princess, so it's only natural she looks the part."
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>Your eyes flutter open finally as you dare to add visual overstimulation to your current symptons
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>You're in the middle of some sort of hamlet, surrounded by several mares from all three tribes
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>(Are they wearing the Elements of Harmony?! You can feel the magic radiating from their necklaces, inviting and familiar)
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>The Alicorn Stallion takes a moment to steady you before moving forward to address the ponies, bathed in the lights coming off a massive tree-based building, while the pink Earth Pony in the assembly engages in some physical comedy
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>"Since you began your studies into the magic of Friendship, you have developed and regularly displayed all of the characteristics I knew you had in you in spades, kid. You've played an instrument in keeping this realm safe multiple times already, and tonight you displayed an aptitude for Magic like no other when you managed to write that bearded mule's spell properly. All of these things alone were enough to deem you worthy of this position. But then you go and find the lost Alicorn of the Day on top of that?! Twilight Sparkle, you are something else."
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>At his mention of you the rest of the mares seem to finally realize that the stallion isn't alone
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>Before they can start mobbing you, however, a voice cuts clear across the night sky
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>A very familiar voice... one you've heard accusing you of treachery and cursing your name for years
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>"SISTER! I KNEWETH T'WAST WELL WORTH IT TO CHASETH THIS LOUT ACROSS THE STARS!"
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>Your posture tightens
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>You can barely stand honestly, you don't know if you're up for a fight
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>But when she lands
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>Creating a great din and a dust cloud of epic proportions
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>"I felt thy essence at when his returned to the material space, most fortuitous- ZOUNDS!! Sister! He hast recruited his erstwhile student to standeth against us! Apace, sister! Though thee look dead on thy hooves, young Sparkle is liketh a newborn in this state! we must presseth the attack! ...Sister?"
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>The mare waiting for you when the dust is blown away by a great dusky pair of wings is not Nightmare Moon
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>But Princess Luna, Guardian of Dreams, Protector of the Night
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>Looking whole and pure as you remember her before her fall
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>And... trying to recruit you to fight these two Alicorns the second she sees you?
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>Alright, that's enough for one day
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>You can feel your eyes rolling into the back of your head, your legs giving out as the conga line of shocks this night is expecting you to take are just too much
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>As proper darkness reclaims your vision for the first time in centuries, the last thing you hear is the sound of the green Alicorn stallion laughing out loud as your sister sputters invectives at him
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