Lone15 - After Filly


                                            >You can't sleep.

                                            >Maybe it's your shitty sleep schedule, or what you ate for dinner, or even the little oscillating ping of a headache that drips like water in your too-big head.

                                            >Or maybe it's fear.

                                            >Of the unknown? Maybe. No man can know it all, especially when his mind has been shoved into another world.

                                            >Of death in your sleep?

                                            >No, you haven't been afraid of death for years.

                                            >The place you came from was hell, and when it finally happened all you felt besides the unbearable pain was relief.

                                            >You didn't know it then, but you know it now.

                                            >Not even Twilight knows you're otherworldly.

                                            >You keep your grades modest and ask her for help on your homework like you asked your mom for help on studying for your history tests when you were little.

                                            >She always called you Doodlebug, a name you never thought twice about.

                                            >Some time in high school, you learned that it's a name given for a way of movement, one that makes doodle marks in the sand.

                                            >That of an antlion.

                                            >To this day, that past realization still swims in your head on occasion.

                                            >You're not sure if she knew, despite her extensive knowledge of human anatomy you don't recall her having much interest in arthropods.

                                            >But even so, the name fits now more than ever...

                                            >A facade of whimsy with a dark nature.

                                            >You readjust your position in bed, hugging your blanket tightly.

                                            >It's cold, but you don't deserve the warmth.

                                            >In the time after she passed, you changed into something you doubt she would be proud of.

                                            >You feel more awake than you did when she was there to guide you, but...

                                            >You haven't felt consistent happiness since the day before you found out she was going to die.

                                            >Everybody has to grow up some day, and everybody has to wake up too.

                                            >Better you did you surmise, you could've been a manchild or worse without a catalyst...

                                            >Could've been anything, really.

                                            >But now the resin has hardened and, whatever bubbles or little perfections came out of the mold will probably take some work to take out.

                                            >You weren't like the other fillies, and it showed.

                                            >Purple had noticed your emotional distance despite your best efforts, and you'd gone to a shrink.

                                            >Fed him some nonsense, wasn't too terribly hard to make up a convincing story.

                                            >After all, you fantasized about this all once upon a time.

                                            >After all, you're Lone15.

                                            >And at 6:00 in the goddamn morning, you're still not asleep.

                                            ~Fin