Derpy Hands [Romance]


                                            >The days continues to drag on

                                            >Ringing up items at the register

                                            >Bit by bit, customer by customer the day goes by

                                            >After this, the weekend starts, and you're free for two whole days

                                            >Your shift is nearly over now

                                            >Seems like there's just one more customer left to ring

                                            >A blonde woman walks up to the register, her items making their way past you as you ring them up and place them on the conveyor

                                            >She has an overall slender figure, with slightly broad shoulders, and fairly broad hips

                                            >She has a girl with her, looks to be about 13 but you can never tell with the hormones they put in the food these days

                                            >Her eyes cross slightly; she can't seem to look at the same direction with both at the same time

                                            >Nonetheless, she seems to have found everything okay, but you ask anyway

                                            >It's a big grocery order [spoiler]4u [/spoiler], she must be stocking up for the week

                                            >The little girl looks at your work bright-eyed, her eyes moving back and forth to watch each item go across the scanner

                                            >You can't help but smile at how cute it is

                                            >As you ring up the last item, you tell the woman her total

                                            >She slips something to the girl lower than you can see and says "Here you go, Sweetie."

                                            >Her voice is somewhat deep for a woman of her size, yet bubbly and floaty

                                            >She smiles at what you presume to be her daughter

                                            >The little girl hands you the cash for the groceries, beaming with pride as she does so

                                            >Making a mental note to take some insulin later, you count out the money

                                            >After you process it, you lean over and hand the girl the change

                                            >"Here you go, Mommy!" she says, happier than can be to help her mom out like this

                                            >She puts the money in her pocket and starts to grab the bags

                                            >Well, since your lane is now closed,

                                            "Excuse me, Miss, would you like some help bagging and carrying those?"

                                            >The woman looks at you quizzically, like she's processing what you said

                                            >Then her face lights up like she just opened a Christmas present

                                            >"Oh sure, mister, I'd really like that!"

                                            >This woman sure is excitable

                                            >So you help carry the bags of groceries (your boss think taking carts out of the store is another Shoah) as she directs you to her car

                                            >Setting the last of the bags in the trunk, she turns to you and asks

                                            >"By the way, mister, what's your name? OH! I'm Derpy Hooves!"

                                            >She extends a hand daintily, with ladylike poise

                                            >You gently grasp it, ready for an equally dainty shake

                                            >What you're met with is a shake that could shake down a building

                                            >After regaining your composure lost from being caught off guard, you tell her your name

                                            >"Anon Abyss, huh? That's kind of a funny name!"

                                            >You would correct her misheard attempt to "Amiss" but her current giggling is too cute and infectious

                                            >"Mommy, when are we gonna leave?"

                                            >The little girl with her looks impatient, and with sass above her age

                                            >Like she has a hot date and her mom is dragging her down, man

                                            >"Just a second, Dinky."

                                            >Turning to you, she pulls out her wallet and starts to take out a few singles

                                            >You put out a hand to stop her

                                            "Oh no, that won't be necessary, Ms. Hooves, I'm glad to help."

                                            >She smiles and puts the bills away, then places her hand on her chin

                                            >"Hmmmm."

                                            >She's clearly contemplating something deep

                                            >Suddenly her face lights up

                                            >She snaps her fingers and proclaims

                                            >"I got it!"

                                            >She grabs your arm and pulls you close to her

                                            >Then, without warning, she cranes her neck and plants a big smooch right on your cheek!

                                            >"That'll be my tip, then." she says with a bit of teasing in her voice

                                            >"I'll see you soon, Mr. Abyss!"

                                            >As you stand there rubbing your cheek, she gets in her car and turns it on

                                            ...

                                            >Saturday morning

                                            >You wake up during a bit of a hangover

                                            "Ugh, my head."

                                            >You let out a groan while you fumble around for the bacon

                                            >After frying up a few strips, you ease yourself into a chair with some milk and an egg

                                            >The smell of the bacon sets your stomach rumbling, the pain only adding to your headache

                                            >It'll be worth it though when you have a full belly and no headache

                                            >After breakfast, it's off to the bathroom to shower, etc.

                                            >Now, with the 1:00pm (or One Bong, for those in England) sun shining through the window, you decide to take a walk

                                            ...

                                            >Sitting on a bench you spot Derpy from yesterday taking a walk with her daughter, Dinky

                                            >She appears to be carrying some pretty heavy canvas bags full of things such as clothes, toys, and fireworks

                                            >Appears to be gearing up for a party, but 4th of July is over a month away

                                            >Perhaps a birthday

                                            >Either way, the fair maiden is in trouble, and you must help her

                                            >You lightly jog up to her with a wave

                                            >When she spots you, she smiles and does a little wave

                                            "Hello, Ms. Hooves, how's it going today?"

                                            >She sets the bags down and starts to stretch her back

                                            >"Pretty well, I'm just headed back home with some supplies for Dinky's birthday party. Oh and just call me Derpy.

                                            "Okay, Derpy it is."

                                            >"What about you? What're you up to today?"

                                            >Defenseless against her innocent grin, you chuckle and turn away before answering her

                                            "Just decided to get some sunshine and fresh air on my day off. I noticed you walking by with those bags though, and they look heavy. As one of the Royal Knights, 'tis my duty to rescue fair maidens in need such as thyself."

                                            >As you finish with a bow, Derpy laughs a hearty belly laugh

                                            >Meanwhile, Dinky just looks at you like you're retarded

                                            >Well the little shit's not wrong, but

                                            >Oh well, can't win em all

                                            >"Sure Anon, you can carry some of my bags. Just don't injure yourself or you'll be kicked out of the Royal Knights."

                                            >As you pick some of the bags up, Dinky smirks at you

                                            >"Trying to get another 'tip' huh? Smooth."

                                            >Taken aback, you blush and turn away

                                            >"Dinky, be nice. There's nothing wrong with a friendly kiss!"

                                            >"Well from the way you talked about him yesterday, I think you want more than just a friendly kiss, don't you, Momma?"

                                            >Your face is so red you're compelled to open a casino

                                            >"DINKY! Don't make me turn these shopping bags around young lady!"

                                            >HA, that's one you've never heard before

                                            >Also, her voice gets much deeper, or should I say Derper, when she's mad

                                            >>27750429 (You)

                                            "Tarry not, M'Lady, we must carry forth to thy domicile, lest these perishables spoil!"

                                            >Giggling at your continued display of chivalry, your fair maidens forge on with you

                                            >You reach Derpy's apartment not ten minutes later, and Dinky gets the door for you and Derpy

                                            >As Derpy walks in first, Dinky tips an imaginary fedora and says "M'Lady"

                                            >You almost choke on your own laughter, but if gets worse when she tips to you as well

                                            >"M'Sir"

                                            >Fighting the good fight to keep your side plates from bursting asunder, you bring the bags to her kitchen area

                                            >Derpy sets to work putting the cold things away, and Dinky shows you where boxed goods go

                                            >You try to ignore the previous lack of much else in the cabinets

                                            >"Dinky! Mr. Abyss has helped us enough. You should should be putting those away yourself."

                                            >Dinky looks genuinely upset, perhaps from being yelled at, perhaps sorry for her actions

                                            >Perhaps both

                                            >Either way, it just won't do

                                            "Really, it's okay, Derpy, I didn't mind at all. I'm happy to help, any way I can."

                                            >As you say this, her eyes tear up a bit, and it's hard to tell if it's happy, sad, or what

                                            "Derpy, what's wrong?"

                                            >She's sniffling hard now

                                            >"It's just. I only met you yesterday and you're being so nice to me, and I... No one's thought about me like this before."

                                            >"Everyone just sees a single mom with a 'disability'. No lne actually talks to me, or treats me like a person."

                                            >Dinky goes up to her mom and hugs her tight

                                            >This calms Derpy down a bit, and she looks you in the eye

                                            >"Oh look at me now, dumping all this on you; you don't deserve this."

                                            >Damn, she's going through some tough shit, isn't she?

                                            "You know, Derpy, I really did want to help you out. And for what it's worth, even though I'm a total stranger, I think you're a great person."

                                            >She ponders your request, and nods her head on agreement.

                                            >"I just have one question, though:"


                                            >>27776988 (You)

                                            >"Why?"

                                            "Why? Well you treat your daughter well, she seems to be happy and-"

                                            >"No," she says, cutting you off, "I mean why did you decide to help me?"

                                            >As you open your mouth to respond, you realize you actually don't have an answer

                                            "Uhh. Huh. Good question."

                                            >You lean on the counter and stare at the curtains in the living area nearby

                                            >Everyone knows thinking is easiest when you lean and stare off

                                            "I guess, you know, my life is pretty bland. I go to work every weekday, come home tired. I play some vidya, watch a show or two, sketch a drawing, things like that. I go to bed, rinse, repeat."

                                            >Dinky, now interested in what you're saying, hops up on the counter and sits.

                                            "And on weekends I usually just do more of what I do at night, maybe I'll work on my car if it needs an oil change or something like that."

                                            >Derpy comes and puts a hand on your shoulder

                                            >She can tell that this is troubling you a bit

                                            "I'm never gonna be one of those people you hear about on TV, saving people's lives, or feeding ten thousand hungry people in the slums. My life is just, a life. I'm just... there."

                                            >Derpy has now wrapped her arm around you and is hugging you

                                            >Her warm embrace feels nice, and you can faintly smell the gentle scent of her hair

                                            "Helping you with your bags, making you laugh when you look stressed, whatever I can do to help. I guess that's my way of doing something for the world."

                                            >You look to Derpy and smile

                                            "But now, you just seem like a great person, and I'd like to get to know you more."

                                            >Stepping back, she smiles once again

                                            >"Thank you, Anon. You really are a nice person after all."

                                            >Then, surprisingly, she chuckles a bit

                                            >"You have NO idea how nice it is to hear all this. And I can tell you're not just saying things either. Believe me I've heard it all enough to tell the difference."

                                            >You can't help but smile at her being happy again

                                            >"Say, Anon, would you like to join me and Dinky for dinner?"

                                            >Woah, now. Code red. An attractive young woman is asking you to have dinner with you. Remember your training.

                                            >Unfortunately your pockets are empty, you forgot to pack spaghetti in them

                                            >And you don't have any spaghetti in your stomach, nor a sweater to vomit it on

                                            >Time for Plan B:

                                            >You clear your throat, then breathe out


                                            "I'd love to. I have an urgent errand at the bank to take care of first, but I'll be back in time for dinner."

                                            >"Alright, that gives me time to cook something nice."

                                            >She starts to turn away, but turns back and asks

                                            >"Say, aren't the banks closed by now on Saturday?"

                                            "Usually, but mine has a branch at the supermarket that stays open until 3. Which means I need to get going soon. So I'll just go now. I'll see you two later."

                                            >But before you can leave, Dinky jumps in front of you

                                            >"Wait!"

                                            >She turns to Derpy with a serious look

                                            >But that seriousness is replaced by a mischievous grin, and your stomach sinks.

                                            >"Momma, you have to give him his tip before he can go."

                                            >You look to Derpy, worried, but rather than embarrassment, she looks coy, like she's playing along

                                            >Stomach depth is approaching 100 fathoms and counting

                                            >Derpy saunters over to you, swaying her hips a bit

                                            >"You're right Dinky."

                                            >Oh God she's pressing her body right up against your arm

                                            >"So, Mr. Abyss, where do you want your tip?"

                                            >Come on, think of something!

                                            >Be smooth, like earlier!

                                            "Hmm, why not... surprise me?"

                                            >Derpy and dinky get grins the size of minivans, and Derpy seductively tells you to close your eyes

                                            >Happening-con reduced from 5 to 3

                                            >As your brace yourself, you feel Derpy shift around to your front

                                            >Next thing you know, you feel warm breath on your face around your mouth

                                            >You're trembling now, but keeping it isolated to your hands, which are behind your back

                                            >Finally, after all the suspense, you feel soft lips press into your... nose

                                            >You open your eyes, and Derpy pulls away

                                            >She looks up at you with a complete poker face, like nothing happened at all

                                            >And you can't help but smile

                                            >After a moment of silence, Derpy laughs and steps aside

                                            >"I guess you should get going, huh?"

                                            "Yeah."


                                            >Your time out flashes by in a blur

                                            >It's a chore to think about anything besides your dinner date tonight

                                            >Your only moment of true lucidity is when the teller asks you for your ID

                                            >You had forgotten your account number

                                            >On your way back to Derpy's apartment, you were wondering what type of dinner you'd have

                                            >But more importantly, what kind of game are they playing with you

                                            >Derpy seems to wnjoy your company, as does her daughter

                                            >But the girl, Dinky, seems to be tryingto set you two up in a way that you're not quite ready for yet

                                            >Then again, the way Derpy was in sync with her, she seems to know what's actually going on

                                            >If only you had that luxury


                                            >6pm

                                            >You're enjoying a nice dinner of linguini with broccoli and stuffed chicken

                                            >So far, the three of you have been eating in silence

                                            >Derpy seems nervous, maybe sad too

                                            >Dinky just seems bored

                                            >You decide to break the silence between bites

                                            "So, Dinky, what grade are you in?"

                                            >She swallows and smiles at you

                                            >"I'm in fourth grade!"

                                            >She's beaming with pride at you

                                            "And what about you, Derpy, what grade are you in?"

                                            >She nearly chokes on her pasta, glaring at you, but then failing to suppress a grin

                                            "For your information I graduated 7 years ago"

                                            >As you eat the gears started turning in your head

                                            >"You probably figured it out by now, I was 16 when Derpy was born."

                                            >Keeping your poker face up, you look at Dinky

                                            >She doesn't seem fazed by this at all

                                            >"She wasn't an unplanned kid, you know."

                                            >Your emotionless visage is unbroken upon hearing this

                                            >She sets her fork down and takes a small sip of her red wine, looking down into the candle that stands at the center of the table

                                            >"This guy, Doc, we called him. His name was Heartbeat. He was always treating everyone's injuries, be it animal or human. Sprained joints or cuts, he was always on hand to help."

                                            >"He and I were friends from when I was 8. When I was 12, we started going out, sort of. We basically admitted we liked each other and then nothing really changed, until I was 14."

                                            >She blushes a bit and smiles

                                            >"That's when we started kissing, going on real dates, we even held hands, if you'd believe it."

                                            >You can't help but crack a smile, she's just too good at the little jokes

                                            >"Eventually when I was 16, I told him I wanted to take things further, you know? He was all for it but not at that time."

                                            >"He said it was too early, but I didn't care. Eventually, a mistake handling the, protection, we used, ended up with me pregnant. The doctors said I'd have her a few months before my 17th birthday."

                                            >Dinky looks up at you and gasps

                                            >"That reminds me! Momma's birthday is in 3 weeks and 2 days!"

                                            >The she scares you a bit by jumping up and pointing a finger at you

                                            >"You BETTER get her a REALLY GOOD PRESENT!"

                                            >Derpy is now trying to hide her face in her hands, but she can't hide the embarrassed smile, for it is too big

                                            >You gently lower Dinky's finger to the table which causes her to sit back down

                                            "Don't worry, Dinky, I'll make sure to give her a great birthday present."

                                            >You turn back to Derpy who's apparently still not sure how to feel right now

                                            "So, you were saying?"

                                            >After a moment, she snaps back to reality

                                            >"Huh? Oh! Right, well, he was from a pretty wealthy family and didn't have to work at first, cause he had a bunch saved up from when he did odd jobs as a kid for family members that liked to pay him a lot for little things, you know?"

                                            "Yeah, I know what you mean," you say, recalling your own grandmother from when you were a kid

                                            >"So he and his parents would take care of her during the day during the first six or so months, and I would be with her at night, and all day on weekends. It was pretty tough, you know, balancing her with schoolwork, but I managed through force of will."

                                            >"When I was six months from graduating, he got a job with the National Guard. It was nice that he was supporting us, and not leaving all the costs to his parents."

                                            >"Heartbeat loved Derpy, and spend all his freetime with her, making sure she was cared for."

                                            >Suddenly something is starting to sound familiar

                                            "You know, I think I remember hearing about a Corporal Heartbeat on the news, when they were talking about the riots in Las Pegasus. I can't remember what he was on the news for though."

                                            >"It was his Medal of Honor ceremony."

                                            >Suddenly, it all comes back to you

                                            >You remember seeing his parents, a young blonde woman with a veil, holding a sleeping baby

                                            >And the coffin

                                            >You sit in silence for what feels like an eternity

                                            >Despite your best attempts to hold it together, one thing breaks you

                                            >Dinky starts crying too

                                            >You feel a few gentle sobs escape your lungs

                                            >The sight of a child crying over something so major was always your biggest weakness

                                            >You decide the best thing to do now is to leave Derpy and Dinky together for a bit and get the dinner put away before it gets ruined

                                            >You remember seeing some Tupperware in one of the cabinets, so you pop the meat in one and the pasta in the other

                                            >By the time you're done, you've forgotten what it was you were crying about

                                            >Of course, thinking about forgetting about it just made you remember it again

                                            >Rejoining Derpy and Dinky, you find the two of them have calmed down quite a bit

                                            >Derpy holds Dinky away a bit by the shoulders and looks her in the eye

                                            >"Okay, sweetie, it's time for you to take a shower, okay?"

                                            >Dinky rubs her eyes and sniffs before replying

                                            >"Okay, Momma."

                                            >Slowly she shuffles off to the bathroom, while Derpy moves around to your side

                                            >Once Dinky is safely away in the bathroom, Derpy rests her head on your shoulder

                                            >"Anonymous, do you belive it's okay to lie to a child to protect them?"

                                            >Well okay then

                                            "Uh, I mean, that's, uh, something I never really thought of, I guess?"

                                            >Man it is really hot in here like someone turn on the AC jeez

                                            >"Most of what I said is true, but the part about her being planned..."

                                            "Not so much?"

                                            >"Yeah."

                                            >...

                                            >"Say, Anon, do you think this makes me a bad mother?"

                                            "Of course not. I mean, she's, what, nine? I think you did the right thing, though if you don't mind, I will say you should probably tell her before she learns the truth on her own."

                                            >She sighs, and droops her head onto your chest

                                            >"The thing I'm most afraid of is that she may have already. Her grandparents might have let it slip before they moved away, I just don't know."

                                            >The two of you stand in silence for a while, but it doesn't last long

                                            >"Anon, will you stay a bit, and sit on the couch with me?"

                                            >Not wanting to be rude, you accept, and take a seat on the couch with Derpy


                                            >You sit nervously, waiting for Derpy to make the first move to say or do something

                                            >After all, one wrong move could spell disaster

                                            >She inches closer to you, and takes your hand in hers

                                            >"Thank You, Anon, for everything."

                                            >What to say, what to say?

                                            "It was nothing, really. I haven't done much, unless you count carrying your bags."

                                            >The cute little lady next to you squeezes your hand tighter, and leans her head against your shoulder

                                            >She chuckles and lets out a sigh of content, signaling that she may no longer be on the verge of breaking down into tears

                                            >Bomb has been defused

                                            >"I don't know if it's because of how my life has been, or if I'm just too sensitive, but just you being nice to me has meant so much. I love it, really, having someone just treat me like a person again."

                                            >Her presence against your body is so warm, it warms you all the way to your heart

                                            >Oh yeah, gotta say something in response

                                            "Well, how about I treat you to something even better, like Sunday dinner tomorrow?"

                                            >On the one hand, her head leaving your shoulder leaves a cold air where there once was gentle warmth

                                            >On the other hand, her beautiful golden eyes looking into yours with such happiness and desire keeps your heart nice and toasty

                                            >"Really, you'd do that?"

                                            "Sure, a nice, quiet dinner would be a chance for me to get to know the two of you better."

                                            >Derpy, judging by her face, just remembered something important and, by the looks of it, kinda sad

                                            >"Dinky won't be there, though, she has softball practice at the school."

                                            "On a Sunday?"

                                            >"Yeah, and parents aren't allowed ever since those jerks came and heckled the other parents' kids. A fight broke out and, yeah."

                                            "Wow, so they basically ruined it for everyone, huh? Do you still get to watch her games?"

                                            >"Yeah, they have more security staff when there's a game."

                                            >She sighs again, but this time it's not contented

                                            >"Looks like that idea was a bust"

                                            >Bomb has been planted

                                            >Think of something, quickly, Anon

                                            "Well, look at it this way: yeah. it's too bad Dinky can't join us, but on the bright side, it'll be a nice, quiet date, just the two of us."

                                            >Judging by the volume of her gasp, you either just clutched, or choked

                                            >"A date?! Really?! You want to- Ahhh!"

                                            >She suddenly jumps from the couch and starts looking left and right frantically

                                            >"What will I wear?! What kind of makeup should I-"

                                            >But before she can finish, you cut her off by gently grabbing her wrist and guiding her back to the couch

                                            "Relax, Derpy, it's not like that. You're fine as you are, so don't worry, just make sure you enjoy yourself, okay?"

                                            >At first she looks like she's going to cry again, but instead she gives you a grin that makes you feel strangely at ease

                                            >"Well then, you should know I don't kiss on the first date."

                                            "I know, you can't wait that long."

                                            >As she realizes what you mean, she pouts, recognizing her defeat at the hands of your far superior wit, cultivated by many days with your equally witty and sarcastic friends in college

                                            >But maybe, going by that mischievous grin, she has another trick up her sleeve

                                            >"You're right. I can't wait. The question is, can you?"

                                            >Beep beep, motherfucker, there's the bomb again

                                            >"I bet there's all kinds of things you'd love to do to me, Mr. Abyss. So many unspeakable things, so tell me, Anon, what are you going to do?"

                                            >She's teasing you pretty hard, but you're not going to fall for that

                                            >What she does next, however, you're not prepared for

                                            >She leans over on the couch and spreads her arms, and for the first time you take a good look at her body

                                            >Her waist curves inward, and her hips curve outward, making a perfect shape your eyes can't help but follow

                                            >Her legs are slender but toned, her calves in particular looking rock-solid

                                            >Her chest, which you take care not to stare at for too long, is modest, yet it complements her figure perfectly

                                            >"Go ahead Anon, I'm all yours, do whatever you like too me."

                                            >This is all too much

                                            "Wha- I, uh,"

                                            >Derpy bursts into laughter and rolls around on the couch

                                            >Eventually she rights herself and points at you, laughing hysterically

                                            >"Oh man, you should see the look on your face!"

                                            >You start to get a little angry, but her infectious personality prevents you from becoming too engraged