Kinderquestria: Toast Synthesizer! [Complete]


                                            >"Anon, please! You must awaken this instant!"

                                            "Mmmmmmmmmmmmm" you let out a low moan

                                            >"Anon this is serious! Your assistance is gravely needed!"

                                            >You feel something beginning to slowly pull your blanket from your body

                                            >You quickly reach down and pull against whatever is trying to steal your warm blanket away from you

                                            "Uggghhhhh let me sleep!" you say groggily

                                            >"Unfortunately we can not Anon. There are important matters in which your expertise is needed! Canterlot and maybe all of Equestira may be in great danger!" With that, Luna rips the blanket from your body and you are assaulted by the cold night air

                                            >That fucking horse not only took your blanket, but she also came through the window and left it open

                                            >You open your eyes slightly and give the best death stare you can while being as sleepy as you are

                                            >Lunas standing next to your bedside while also holding your blanket in her magical grasp

                                            >You can see the moon hanging high through the window Luna had left open

                                            >Grasping your pillow firmly and pulling over your face, you turn away from moon horse

                                            "Whatever it is Luna, it can wait till tomorrow." you say through your pillow

                                            >This obviously doesnt please the night princess as you hear her let out a horsy sigh

                                            >"Unfortunately it can not wait till tomorrow Anonymous! Come we leave immediately!"

                                            >She better not be planning on-

                                            >Suddenly a brief magic aura surrounds your body and a loud pop sounds around you

                                            >In less than a seconds, the comfy bed you had been laying upon was replaced with a hard cold marble floor

                                            >"We have arrived Anon! Come, let us make haste!"

                                            >Yup, she teleported you to the fucking castle

                                            >God damn it

                                            >You begrudgingly pull your pillow away from your face and are instantly assailed with the strong smell of something being burnt

                                            >You look around and see you are indeed inside the castle, but there is a lot more smoke wafting around then usual

                                            >Standing up while rubbing some crust out of your eye, you turn to Luna

                                            Still somewhat drowsy you ask "Luna, what's with all the smoke in here and what's that smell?"

                                            >"There is no time to explain Anon! Quickly, my sister and her pupil await our presence!"

                                            >You can feel Luna's magic surround you again and suddenly you are lifted up off the ground and onto her back

                                            >Guess your going horse back riding

                                            >You have to somewhat lift your legs a bit so they dont drag across the ground

                                            >Though usually you hate being magic handled, you are still just a bit to drowse to voice your irritation

                                            >Espically considering how soft Luna is.

                                            >Having felt you get into a somewhat stable riding position on her, Luna takes off down the hall towards some unknown destination

                                            >You cant help, but lean forward and rest your head on the back of her neck

                                            >As Luna gallops, you feel your eyes continue to grow heavy

                                            >You slowly close your eyes

                                            >You only just wanna rest them for a moment

                                            >As soon as you close your eyes, you can feel a hoof nudging your shoulder

                                            >Your eyes shoot open and meet with a slightly concerned looking Celestia

                                            >"We have arrived Anon." Luna states

                                            >"Sorry to call you here so late Anonymous." Celestia says sheepishly "There is a bit of a situation that requires your skillset and knowledge."

                                            >You lift your head off of Luna's neck and wipe away the small amount of droll that had accumulated on your cheek

                                            >You glance down and see a small little damp patch on Luna's neck

                                            >Oops, hopefully she doesn't care to much

                                            >You dismount Luna and as soon as you do you are greeted with a small pink bunny running up to you

                                            >"Ah Anon! Its good to see you again! I didnt know you were the last resort the princess's had been talking about!"

                                            >Oh wait, thats not a pink bunny, its just purple smart in her cute little pyjamas

                                            >Looks like you weren't the only one the princess had kidnapped tonight

                                            You bend down and ruffle Twilight's bunny ears "Hey Twi, hows it going?"

                                            >While you were greeting Twilight, behind you Celestia and Luna were quietly bickering between each other

                                            >"Why didnt you just teleport the both of you here right away, carrying him here on your back was less than necessary!"

                                            >"Well I feel that it was necessary dear sister! I wanted to give Anon time to adjust to the ever-growing smoke clogging up the castle. To just have him assaulted by it with no warning surely wouldn't do him any good now would it!?

                                            >Celestia rolls her eyes "Please, we both know that you were just wanted feel h-"

                                            >You clear your throat

                                            "You guys wanna let me know why you brought me all the way here?"

                                            >Both of the princesses nervously look away

                                            >Its only when Luna gives Celestia a slight elbow in the side does one of them start talking

                                            >"W-well Anon, as you have noticed the castle is a bit smokier than usual as well as somewhat of a light burning odour lingering in the air."

                                            "Yeah that much is pretty obvious, where exactly is all this smoke coming from anyways?"

                                            >Celestia points a hoof over to a door thats not but a couple of feet away

                                            >You are able to see smoke coming out the bottom of the door and pillowing up into the air

                                            "Ah I see, what's in there?"

                                            >Luna steps up "That is where the kitchen is located Anonymous, it is where all our meals for the day are prepared by Canterlot's finest chefs."

                                            >"As well as all of our snacks." Celestia chips in

                                            >"Yes our snacks as well Anonymous."

                                            >You rub your face, trying to get some more of the tired out

                                            "Right, kitchen, meals, chefs, snacks, got it. Did someone leave the oven on or something?"

                                            >Celestia sighs "If only it were that simple my dear Anonymous."

                                            >Luna shakes her head "Yes, if it were that simple, we would simply turned the oven off or banish it to Tartarus, one of the two. The matter at hand requires a more careful in-depth solution. Not even my sister's pupil, Twilight Sparkle could fix our problem."

                                            >Twilight hears this and slightly lowers her head "I'm sorry princesses, I tried everything I could think of, but none of my solutions worked! None of the spells I cast seemed to have had any effect either. Im sorry I let you down."

                                            >Celestia walks over to Twilight and puts a wing around her "You did not let us down Twilight, we know you tried your best. Its just that this situation lies beyond our realm of understanding. If anyone should be sorry it should be me and my sister for causing this mess."

                                            >Twilight brightens up a bit and returns Celestia's embrace

                                            >How heartwarming

                                            >You let a yawn

                                            "That's nice and all, but I still dont get what the problem is and what exactly you want me to do about it."

                                            >Celestia glances to Luna and Luna gives her a slight nervous nod

                                            >Celestia begins "Well Anonymous, maybe it would be better if we explained our uhhhh....situation first"

                                            "Im all ears, and so is Twi." You reach down and scoop up the bunny ears on Twilight's pyjamas with one hand and give them a playful tug

                                            >"Hey! Anon! Dont!" Twilight lets out a giggle and tries to bat your hand away with a hoof.

                                            >"Very well, allow me to explain." Celestia turns around and looks out a nearby window that offers a view of Canterlot. "As you may have guessed Anonymous, ruling the nation of Equestria is a very demanding task for me and my sister and its filled with many responsibilities. Many of these responsibilities include such things as raising and lowering the sun and the moon, as well as other things like conducting meetings with foreign dignitaries, signing trade agreements, ribbon-cutting ceremonies, ensuring there is always glitter available for ponys to use in arts and crafts, and planning festivals as well as many other tasks that I could go on about, but for the sake of time I wont bother. What I'm trying to get at is that there is very little time for me and my sister to use as we please. In order to ensure all our royal duties are taken care of, we must adhere to a strict schedule. Our days are always planned ahead for us and everything is scheduled to ensure our time is used most-"

                                            >Luna interrupts Celestia "But that's not the worst of it Anonymous! Sometimes we even have to skip our designated snack times in order to ensure our duties are fulfilled in a timely manner! It is truly awful Anonymous, but yet is sometimes unfortunately necessary." Luna woefully dips her head down

                                            >Twilight gasps in shock "Skip snack time!? That's awful princess! I can't imagine how horrible that must be! I'm sorry you have to go through such things for our sake!"

                                            >Strict schedule huh?

                                            >You wonder where "breaking into your house and going through all your things while your not home" falls into that schedule

                                            >At first you thought it was Pinkie doing it again, but when you started finding long flowing magical hairs on your clothes and framed pictures of the moon hanging on your wall, you had started to suspect that it wasn't Pinkie this time, besides, Pinkie doesn't have long flowing magical hair. Hers is pink and curly, and if you find anymore pink and curly hairs on your toothbrush, you and Pinkie are gonna have words.

                                            >They even replaced a few of your rugs, towels, and pillowcases with ones that have the sun and moon emblazoned on them.

                                            >Like you wouldn't notice

                                            >You already tired asking them to stop, but they insist they know nothing about it

                                            "Oh yeah, strict schedule, sounds rough." you say in monotone

                                            >Luna dramatically falls over to you and wraps her hoofs around your stomach while slowly sliding down onto the floor. "It truly is dear Anonymous! But we endure for the sake of our subjects!"

                                            >Celestia doesn't look to pleased seeing Luna cling onto you.

                                            >Celestia points her horn towards her sister and envelops her in a yellow aura.

                                            >She begins to pry Luna off of you, and after a few forceful tugs she tears Luna away and stands her up right next to her. Luna taunts her sister by sticking her tongue out, but Celestia just rolls her eyes and turns back to you

                                            >"Yes, everything my sister had said is true, until recently that is..."

                                            You raise an eyebrow "Oh? What changed?"

                                            >"Wellllll..." Celestia looks away with a slight hesitation in her voice, but then turns back to you. "Through means of our own we had....recently came into the possession of an otherworldly artefact that is capable of many great feats. The functions of this....artifact....has given us the ability to partake in a joyous quick snack time without having to worry about such things like time."

                                            "Whoa that actually sounds pretty interesting! Is it like a staff that speeds things up or a watch that can stop time?" you say with genuine curiosity

                                            >"Ummmmm not quite Anonymous, its more of a-"

                                            >Luna chimes in again cutting Celestia off a second time causing Celestia to give her a displeased frown, but Luna seems to ignore her "It is a magical box that instantly bakes whatever you put inside! It is truly a marvellous device Anon! It has provided us with many quick snacks in the most dire of times! We have officially dubbed it "THE TOAST SYNTHESIZER"! A truly magnificent sounding title wouldn't you agree Anon?!"

                                            "Oh yeah, sounds pretty magnificent."

                                            >Celestia turns away and huffs quietly "I prefer to call it the "Easy Bake"."

                                            >"It truly is Anon! Just the other day we converted a whole loaf of bread into delicious crunchy toast!" Luna wears a somewhat dopey smile while reminiscing about her toast

                                            "Ok, that's neat I guess, but what I wanna know is how is your toast synthesizer related to all this smoke flooding the castle, did it break or something?"

                                            >Celestia nods her head "That appears to be the case dear Anonymous, and we still aren't exactly certain as to what caused it to release all this smoke into the air either. Me and Luna had been using it like we always have. I had been making my bedtime snack while Luna had been making her beginning of the day snack. We each loaded a slice of bread in each slot and activated the device like we always do, but for some reason the strange artefact never released our snacks and instead started dispensing this horrid smoke into the air." Celestia raises a hoof to wave some smoke away from her face. "We have tried everything we could think of to make it stop, but nothing we do seems to have any effect on it."

                                            "Well that stinks, but im not sure exactly what you want me to do about it. I mean if none of your magic seemed to work and none of little Twiggles book smarts seemed to help, I cant see how I could have any chance of fixing it. I don't necessarily dabble in fixing magical objects"

                                            >Celestia and Luna give each other a nervous look and then look back to you.

                                            >Celestia forces a smile "Y-you think to little of yourself my VERY dear Anonymous! You are quite the smart and resourceful stallion! My sister and I have the utmost confidence that someone of your level of intellect and cunning is more than capable of being able to assist us with our problem!"

                                            >Luna pipes up while wearing her forced smile "Indeed! We have seen the way you operate the strange devices in your home with such style and grace! Surely a stallion as nice and charming as yourself can use their proficiency with such strange devices help us with our situation!"

                                            >Style and grace? Does she mean like when you cook food in your microwave and vacuum the floor? Also going off what she just said, it might not be a bad idea to buy some curtains

                                            You take a hand and begin to rub the back of your neck "I mean I guess I could take a look at your synthesizer thingy, but im still not sure what much I can do about it."

                                            >You suddenly feel a hoof poke the side of your calf

                                            >You look down and see Twilight staring at you with a smile that isnt forced, but genuine

                                            >"Dont worry Anon! I think you can do it!" she says wholeheartedly

                                            >Damn you Twiggles, being so cute and sweet in your bunny pyjamas!

                                            >You kneel down and ruffle Twilight's bunny ears a second time

                                            "Thanks, Twi, I'll see what I can do."

                                            >You begin making your way towards the door to the kitchen

                                            >Smoke is still steadily pillowing out from the bottom of the door

                                            >You put a hand on the door and gently push it open

                                            >Smoke begins to spill out of the open doorway

                                            >You take a few steps into the kitchen and close the door behind you

                                            >The kitchen is filled with fog-like smoke

                                            >It wasn't so thick that you couldn't breath, fortunately, but it did somewhat obscure your vision while also having a smell to it that made you certain that you will have to wash your clothes and take a shower to get the smell off of you

                                            >You make it a point to find the nearest window and open it so that way the smoke won't flood the castle as intensely as it has been

                                            >Really something Celestia and Luna should have done in the first place

                                            >You find a small rectangle window located above the sink and push it open, allowing the smoke somewhere else to escape to

                                            >As the smoke exits through the window, your able to see the surrounding kitchen a bit better

                                            >Deffinetly not as big as you would expect a royal kitchen to be

                                            >You were expecting like six ovens, a bunch of sinks, and at least 4 huge fridges, but what you see is actually a bit more modest than that

                                            >Its like your in the kitchen of a diner

                                            >Theres more than the regular kitchen, but less than what someone with a lot of money back on earth would have

                                            >Now that you think about it, the chef poners probably dont need a lot of extra cooking appliances to make what they consider to be fancy food

                                            >Cant say you have ever seen a pony make anything more complicated than a grilled cheese

                                            >Not counting pastries and baked goods of course

                                            >Pinkie has made some cakes before that you are certain defy both culinary and scientific laws

                                            >Out of the corner of your eye, you notice two peculiar looking refrigerators

                                            >Must be their personal fridges

                                            >One has a crude crayon drawing of the sun plastered on the door, while the other has a canvas painting of the moon hanging on its door

                                            >You wonder which princess owns which fridge

                                            > You're tempted to peep on the contents of the princess's fridges, however, you were sent in here for a reason. Now is not the time to poke fun at the princesses based on what they have inside their respective refrigerators

                                            >Aw what the hell

                                            >You grab the handle of the sun refrigerator and pull the door open

                                            >Inside you see shelves full with half-eaten confections as well as a big jug of orange juice laying on the top shelf

                                            >All the sweets show signs of various methods of consumption

                                            >Some have had bites taken from them, some had their frosting licked off, while others had shown signs oh having had a hoof tip dragged along the top

                                            >Some of the sweets are starting show signs of age as some of the cakes are beginning to lose moisture and are starting to crumble

                                            >Celestia should really finish her food

                                            >You take out the jug of orange liquid and remove the cap

                                            >This will be part of your service fee for coming here in the middle of the night

                                            >You take a generous gulp from the bottle, replace the cap and put it back in the fridge

                                            >Ah, its a bit sweeter than normal OJ, almost makes you feel like your drinking Sunny D, but the flavour is just a bit off when compared to the real stuff

                                            >Slightly pulpy and not as sweet, but not to far away from what you remember

                                            >You let out a small sigh

                                            >You miss earth food sometimes

                                            >You reach for the handle of the moon fridge and pull it open

                                            >As soon as the fridge cracks open you are assailed by a foul odour that completely blocks out the smell of the smoke

                                            >You recoil slightly and can only stand to look inside the fridge for a few moments before you have to close it because of the stench

                                            >It was filled to the brim with many different kinds of cheese, some covered and some uncovered, as well as what you believe was a single jar of grape jelly on the bottom shelf

                                            >Jesus Christ Luna

                                            >Some of that cheese looked like it was pulsating

                                            >She really needs to clean some of that shit out

                                            >You swear some of that stuff in there was definitely not safe for consumption

                                            >As you contemplate Luna's fridge cheese, you notice a small little cylinder on the floor

                                            >It was a small cheese wheel that must of fell out of the fridge

                                            >You were about to reach down and pick it up, but as soon as you kneel down, the cheese wheel seemed to let out a little hissing noise and quickly skittered underneath Luna's fridge

                                            >Ok, that's about enough excitement for today

                                            >You quickly stand and back away from Luna's fridge

                                            >Your gonna find where the smoke is coming from and deal with it so you can get the hell out of this kitchen

                                            >You quickly scan the contents of the kitchens counters and find nothing but a bunch of half-empty cookie jars, and boxes of sugary cereal

                                            >Where the hell is all this smoke coming from

                                            >Wait....

                                            >Hold on a moment...

                                            >You find that one countertop has a larger build-up of cereal boxes and cookie jars when compared to the rest of the kitchen

                                            >The smoke seems to be noticeably denser in this section of the kitchen as well

                                            >You brush aside some of the cereal boxes and find something that you believe to be the source of all this smoke

                                            >The cereal boxes were covering up the toast synthesizer thingy the princesses were talking about, and they also seemed to have thrown a towel over it for some reason

                                            >Is it sensitive to light or something?

                                            >Seems like putting a towel over it would be a bit fire hazard if it uses any sort of heating implements

                                            >You shrug

                                            >You dont really get magic, your sure they know what they are doing

                                            >You lift up the towel to get a good look at the otherworldly artefact

                                            >Wait.....

                                            >Thats not an otherworldly artefact

                                            >..............

                                            >Its a toaster

                                            >..............

                                            >But its not just any toaster

                                            >..............

                                            >Its your toaster

                                            >..............

                                            >The same toaster that mysteriously disappeared from your house a few months ago

                                            >They stole your toaster from your house, without telling you

                                            >..............

                                            "Those......those.......

                                            >As much as you would like to yell all kinds of profanity you fortunately are able to resist the urge

                                            >You have long abandoned such vocabulary since coming to Marshmellow horse land

                                            >Ponys here cant handle such vulgar language and there are even repercussions with the law for even the tamest of "bad words"

                                            >Just because you dont voice your discontent doesnt mean your not furious however

                                            >You are actually very displeased with this series of events

                                            >You thought your toaster was gone forever when it went missing

                                            >Do they even understand how many toastless mournings you have had to endure?

                                            >One thing your certain of is that words will be had

                                            >But first you gotta fix this hunk of junk

                                            >You inspect your toaster and immediately find the problem

                                            >The slider was stuck and they had the damn thing turned up to "9"

                                            >Your toaster has a nasty habit of getting stuck when the slider is pushed down to far

                                            >They are lucky to have not encountered this problem sooner

                                            >You unplug the toaster from the tiny weird little crystal generator they had it hooked up to and then yo begin to wiggle the slider side to side

                                            >After a few moments of some good wiggling, the toaster harshly ejects its contents straight up into the air and onto the kitchen floor

                                            >Whatever they had originally put inside your toaster is now unrecognizable as it seems to have morphed into a hard lump of smoking charcoal

                                            >The smoke in the immediate area begins to dissipate as you make your way out of the kitchen with toaster in hand

                                            >You push open the door and see a deathly nervous Celestia and Luna as well as an obliviously happy albeit somewhat tired Twiggy Sparks

                                            >Both of the princesses freeze when they see you walk out of the kitchen with your toaster

                                            >Celestia immediately takes action and begins to shower you with praise "Ah! A-Anon! You stopped the smoke! We knew you could do it! You have outperformed even us in this arduous task! You have proved yourself to be the most capable human!"

                                            >Luna joins in "Indeed! W-we must celebrate your victory! A....uhhhh....a banquet! Yes, a banquet In your honour!

                                            >They stare at you hoping they are spared your wrath, but you will not be won over by their honeyed words

                                            >You turn to Twilight

                                            "Twilight, could you go grab me a glass of water from the kitchen? All this smoke is making my throat dry

                                            >Twilight lets out a small yawn "Sure Anon, I'll be right back."

                                            >Twilight disappears into the kitchen behind you and you look back to the princesses

                                            >They must have noticed your displeasure just from the look on your face as they seem to shrink upon meeting your disapproving gaze

                                            >Surprisingly Luna speaks "A-Anon, before you say anything I just wanted you to know that.......IT WAS CELESTIA'S IDEA TO TAKE IT!"

                                            >Celestia recoils with shock and looks at her sister and you in disbelief "WHAT!?" Celestia's shock quickly turns to anger, however "MY IDEA!? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WOULDNT STOP SHOVING IT IN MY FACE, AND SAYING HOW NICE IT IS, AND BESIDES, I ONLY WANTED TO BORROW IT FOR A FEW DAYS, BUT WHEN I TRIED TO RETURN IT, YOU PRACTICALLY WOULDNT LET GO OF THE DARNED THING!!!"

                                            >"WELL THATS BECAUSE I...I wanted to clean it first...YEAH! It's only right that you clean something after you borrow it!"

                                            >"You? Clean something???" Celestia lets out a mocking chuckle "I have heard a lot of outlandish stories in my time Luna, but that one tops them all!"

                                            >Before either princess could bicker anymore, you decide to intervene

                                            "Ahem!"

                                            >Both the princesses freeze mid-fight and look back to you with wide eyes

                                            >You take a step towards the princesses causing them to flinch

                                            >You raise a finger towards Celestia and glare at her with a stare that could make even fiercest of manticores turn tale and run

                                            "Finish your food! Don't just throw it in the fridge and let it rot! And also cut down on the sweets, they aren't good for you!"

                                            >You turn to Luna with the same serious stare

                                            "Same goes for you Luna! And clean out your fridge......actually just throw it away and get a new one! Understood!?

                                            >The princesses slowly nod their heads in confirmation

                                            >"U-understood Anon!" Celestia says nervously

                                            >"Y-yes! Understood!" Luna squeaks

                                            "And one more thing! Dont EVER take anything from my house without my approval ever again, or else I might have to break out the old rolled-up newspaper!"

                                            >The princesses both jump at your words

                                            >Celestia quickly comments "Th-that wont be necessary Anon!"

                                            >"R-right! Me and Tia both know better now! So there won't be any need for th-th-the...*gulp*....rolled up newspaper!"

                                            "Good."

                                            >As if on cue, Twilight returns from the kitchen with a glass of water in her magical grasp. "Here you go Anon!"

                                            >You quickly drop your angry expression and turn to Twilight with glee

                                            "Ah, thanks Twi! Your a lifesaver!"

                                            >You take the glass of water from her and quickly gulp it down

                                            >You motion it to Celestia who cautiously takes it from you and then you turn back to little Twilight

                                            "Twi, would you like to sleepover at my house tonight? I feel like I might have a bit of trouble going back to bed after all this excitement, but I feel like having a big soft bunny to cuddle will help."

                                            >Twilight jumps with excitement "Of course Anon! I know a bunch of great bedtime stories that I can tell you! It will be lots of fun!"

                                            "Great! And I can make us a delicious toast breakfast in the morning as well." you say while patting the toaster in your arms "Luna, would you mind teleporting me and Twi back to my house?"

                                            >Luna lightly paws the ground with a hoof. "Um....you know Anon, I also enjoy bedtime stories and toast breakfasts.....There also isnt much on the royal schedule that would require my attention either....so I'm free......I just thought you should know......"

                                            >You roll your eyes

                                            >You could easily ask "What about the tight schedule you and Celestia were complaining about earlier?" but frankly you're just to tired to even care anymore

                                            "Fine. You can come along."

                                            >"Ah!Excellent!" Luna poofs away for a few seconds and suddenly reappears wearing moon pyjamas

                                            >As you get ready to have Luna take you and Twi home, Celestia lightly clears her throat "I also like toast breakfasts Anonymous......"

                                            You sigh "You can come to Celestia."

                                            >Celestia jumps with excitement and quickly teleports away and reappears with pyjamas of her own

                                            >Luna raises her horn high in the air and encircles everyone with her magical aura "If everypony is ready, let us be off!"

                                            >Welp, you arent really sure if your bed is gonna be able to contain three ponys and a human, cant say this whole princess sleepover was something you had planned, but you suppose there are worse things than having to share a bed with a bunch of horses in pyjamas. At least you have your toaster, and more importantly, your toast.

                                            >FIN