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THERE'S A CHANGELING IN MY GAT DANG HOUSE

By SQA-non
Created: 2020-10-23 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-01-14 08:38:36
Expiry: Never
changelingsafe/rgre/comedyfloor boredreversed gender roles equestrianeet

  1. 1.
    >You are Floor Bored, veteran Ponechanner and all around NEET.
  2. 2.
    >Today you find yourself doing what you do most days, verbally dualing a fellow browser of /mlh/ to the death.
  3. 3.
    “And /THAT/ is why human dick was made for mare pussy! Ziggers get out!”
  4. 4.
    >Smashing that post button you lean back in your chair, confident that your final diatribe removed any chance of your opponent's recovery.
  5. 5.
    “Bucking funposters” you say under your breath.
  6. 6.
    >Readying your mouse to refresh the page, you’re suddenly hit with [spoiler]the fact you’re wasting your life on something so utterly meaningless like the failure you are.[/spoiler]
  7. 7.
    >Hoping to banish those thoughts, you click away to /mlh/’s catalog.
  8. 8.
    “Buck it, thread was dying anyway.”
  9. 9.
    >As you leaf through the catalogue however, you’re dismayed to find that not a single thread catches your eye.
  10. 10.
    >You make sure to voice this displeasure to no one in particular, of course.
  11. 11.
    “Celestia damned Facade posters, he ruined the show and the board!”
  12. 12.
    >However, righteous indignation alone didn’t cause any good threads to appear.
  13. 13.
    >Which while expected, was none the less disappointing.
  14. 14.
    >All hope was not lost though.
  15. 15.
    >After all, as you said, you are a veteran ponechanner.
  16. 16.
    >And what veteran ponecahnner only browses one board?
  17. 17.
    >Indeed you have a great many boards to choose from! Surely one will have the stimulation you crave!
  18. 18.
     
  19. 19.
    >It is now much later, and sadly it seems you were wrong.
  20. 20.
    >No matter the board, you just kept coming up bupkis.
  21. 21.
    >If this kept up you might actually have to get off ponechan for the day.
  22. 22.
    >Then what would you do!?
  23. 23.
    >Read a book!?
  24. 24.
    >Cook a meal!?
  25. 25.
    >GO OUTSIDE!?
  26. 26.
    >Unacceptable!
  27. 27.
    >There was still one board left, one saving grace!
  28. 28.
    >And dear sweet Celestia it was /x/.
  29. 29.
    >You sigh heavily.
  30. 30.
    >Last time you bothered to brouse /x/ it was just /changeling/ this and /changeling/ that.
  31. 31.
    >And you’d bet all of your bits that that’s exactly what it would be today.
  32. 32.
    >BUT with options ranging from slim to none, you reluctantly clicked the little /x/, and dove right in.
  33. 33.
    >As the page loads however, the prognosis is bleak.
  34. 34.
    >Right off the bat the top threads are exactly what you expected.
  35. 35.
    >Changeling Stories Thread.
  36. 36.
    >How to tell if your loved one is a Changeling.
  37. 37.
    >Help I’m trapped in a changeling hive and they said they’re going to--
  38. 38.
    >Blah Blah Blah.
  39. 39.
    >You could maybe stomach a changeling story or two back in the day, but once you realised they all read the same you just couldn’t get into them anymore.
  40. 40.
    >Just as you were about to close the page however, a thread near the bottom catches your eye.
  41. 41.
    > “Changeling Husbandos are superior, how could a stallion ever hope to compete?”
  42. 42.
    >You allowed yourself a small smile, at least this was a fresh take on the topic.
  43. 43.
    >Clicking the thread, you hoped the responses would at least be enough to alleviate your boredom.
  44. 44.
    >Maybe you could even get a rise out of some of the commenters by playing along with OP?
  45. 45.
    >That would at least fill your soul for awhile.
  46. 46.
    >As the page loads, you take the opportunity to read the entirety of the OP.
  47. 47.
    >Hmm, now there’s an interesting oppic.
  48. 48.
    >It looks like some kind of... application?
  49. 49.
    >Shifting your gaze, you look upon the accompanying text post.
  50. 50.
    > It appears the majority of the OP is taken up by a list of pros to having a changeling house husband.
  51. 51.
    > “My life is tied to your emotional well being so I’d never hurt you”.
  52. 52.
    > “You’d never need to buy food for me because I don’t eat”.
  53. 53.
    > “Sex is always a tasty meal so /true/ a changeling is always DTF”.
  54. 54.
    > “I’ll never need things like jewelry and spa days like pony stallions, a mare to hold is enough”.
  55. 55.
    >You had to admit, it sounded pretty appealing.
  56. 56.
    >As a kissless virgin, a devoted househusband requiring little to no effort sounded like the perfect fantasy.
  57. 57.
    [spoiler]>And all the degenerate sex your sweaty NEET body could ever want.[/spoiler]
  58. 58.
    [spoiler]>Unf.[/spoiler]
  59. 59.
    >If that was the kind of thread this was you could get behind it!
  60. 60.
    >After all, it’s basically what you posted on /mlh/ anyway.
  61. 61.
    >Cracking your elbows, you prepared to write as much green about an ideal husband as this thread could take.
  62. 62.
    >However, the last (and previously missed) line caught your eye.
  63. 63.
    > “Now if YOU want a changeling house husband of your very own, all you need to do is fill out the application and email it to BugzRcool@pmail.com to be considered. I hope to hear from you soon!”
  64. 64.
    >With that, the smile ran off your face.
  65. 65.
    >This wasn’t a thread for ponies to write erotica about easy lays for NEETs!
  66. 66.
    >It was a SCAM!
  67. 67.
    >Unbelievable! Just when you were starting to get into it, those bitches had played you!
  68. 68.
    >Screeching in a way that likely annoyed the hay out of your neighbors you prepared to write out the angriest post you could muster!
  69. 69.
    >But then it hit you.
  70. 70.
    >A way to kill time and get back at scammer!
  71. 71.
    >Submit a troll application!
  72. 72.
    >While the voice of reason inside your mind pointed out this would largely be a waste of time, the vindictive side of you said buck that and buck you reason!
  73. 73.
    >So with that you downloaded the form and set to work.
  74. 74.
     
  75. 75.
    >About halfway through you realized how weird this was.
  76. 76.
    >There were no hallmarks of a typical con.
  77. 77.
    >No SSN, no credit cards, no passwords, nothing.
  78. 78.
    >Just stuff like hobbies and living style, even a personality quiz.
  79. 79.
    >As you filled it out you began to feel less like you’re wasting a scammer’s time and more like you’re filling out a joke online dating profile.
  80. 80.
    >This did not deter you however,
  81. 81.
    >Those scammers had ruined your minute, and by Celestia you were going to ruin theirs!
  82. 82.
    >So you set to work filling out the application with the worst stuff you possibly come up with...
  83. 83.
    >Truth about your real life living situation!
  84. 84.
    >Burying the shame of living in absolute squalor beneath a mountain of vindictive rage only a mild inconvenience could create, you filled out every single line with absolute sincerity.
  85. 85.
    >Living space: I live in a one bedroom apartment, meaning you would have to share a bed with me. A bed who’s sheets I haven’t washed in months. To be frank, I can’t remember the last time I washed anything in my apartment. Oh and btw, I know you said changelings don’t eat food, but on the off chance you do need some physical food, all I have is ramen.
  86. 86.
    >The rest of the application read more or less the same, each line getting even more disgusting detail than the last.
  87. 87.
    >Honestly you were pretty proud of it. Especially when you went into graphic detail about your hobby of growing mushrooms in your unwashed laundry. Colts love mushrooms!
  88. 88.
    [spoiler]>You’re pretty sure you read that online once.[/spoiler]
  89. 89.
    >Looking over your hoofywork you were confident it would ruin even the most jaded pony’s day.
  90. 90.
    >Making the last step to set up a dummy email account and send it in to BugzRcool@pmail.com.
  91. 91.
    >Which you did, confident absolutely nothing would come of it.
  92. 92.
     
  93. 93.
    >You were Nat, a lonely and hungry changeling male.
  94. 94.
    >Hiding in a hovel you carved out in the wall of the local library, you watched your email like a hawk.
  95. 95.
    >Times had gotten pretty tough in the hive, and the Queen was getting more and more desperate.
  96. 96.
    >So you did the only thing you could.
  97. 97.
    >Split.
  98. 98.
    >You were always known around the hive as a bit of a lazy good-for-nothing.
  99. 99.
    >And they were right!
  100. 100.
    >No way you were sticking your neck out for them.
  101. 101.
    >Besides, you’ve heard the stories about how easy it is for pony stallions to get some puss.
  102. 102.
    >You figured with a little magic mares wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, and you’d be on your way to an all you can eat love buffet!
  103. 103.
    >Well, turns out, they could tell the difference.
  104. 104.
    >Since you weren’t an infiltrator, noling had seen fit to instruct you on the finer points of pony social interaction.
  105. 105.
    >/Apparently/ most mares thought you acted ‘weird’ like an ‘alien wearing pony skin’.
  106. 106.
    >For a while there you were starting to worry that you’d have to put in some actual effort!
  107. 107.
    >But then you found /them/.
  108. 108.
    >NEETs.
  109. 109.
    >They’re so desperate, they’ll snuggle practically anything.
  110. 110.
    >Plus, if what you found on this “x” is true, many even fetishize bizarre sexual encounters!
  111. 111.
    >Perfect!
  112. 112.
    >...if you could meet one.
  113. 113.
    >Unsurprisingly, it's rather difficult to meet ponies who are notorious for going out of their way to ensure they never meet anypony new.
  114. 114.
    >That’s when it hit you.
  115. 115.
    >If they love openly fantasizing on this “x”, surely at least one of them would respond to an offer to have their fantasies realized posted on that very “board”!
  116. 116.
    >Which brings you back to the present as the sound of an arriving email dings.
  117. 117.
    >Ahhh, another new application.
  118. 118.
    >This one from a ‘Ceiling Excited’.
  119. 119.
    >Hmmm, now let’s see...
  120. 120.
    >An earth pony? That’s good, you like being the only one who can cast spells.
  121. 121.
    >Based on her height and weight she’s probably chubby, not enough to be truly unattractive, but enough so that her self confidence is probably shot.
  122. 122.
    >Perfect!
  123. 123.
    >The living situation sounds pleasantly dark and dank.
  124. 124.
    >Oh wow, she even grows her own mushrooms!
  125. 125.
    >Sounds like you just hit the jackpot!
  126. 126.
    >Now you’ve just got to pay this mare a visit.
  127. 127.
    >Let’s see, at 1214 ShoeHorse Lane.
  128. 128.
    >That’s... an obviously fake address.
  129. 129.
    >Dang!
  130. 130.
    >The answers had such vivid detail though, they didn’t seem like lies.
  131. 131.
    >Perhaps... perhaps your target is just a bit shy.
  132. 132.
    >Even though she gave you a fake address, it might still be worth looking into this ‘Ceiling Excited’.
  133. 133.
    >Besides it's not like it’ll be hard to find out where she /actually/ lives.
  134. 134.
    >Cyberstalking 101 was one of the few classes you actually paid attention to after all!
  135. 135.
    >Alright, you’ll spend an evening looking into this mare, and if she seems worth it, you’ll pay her a visit.
  136. 136.
    >Once you figure out where you’re going you’ll send her an email to let her know you’re coming.
  137. 137.
    >Oooo! And you should throw in a cute picture of yourself while you’re at it...
  138. 138.
     
  139. 139.
    >You are Floor Bored, and it’s been about a day since you sent in that application, and only the barest hints of it remain in your memories.
  140. 140.
    >Say, what should you do today?
  141. 141.
    >Browse ponechan for another twelve hours like the failure you are?
  142. 142.
    >Sounds like a plan to you!
  143. 143.
    >*Ding!*
  144. 144.
    >Hey, what was that?
  145. 145.
    >Paging through all your windows, it looks like you forgot to log out of that email you made to send in that application.
  146. 146.
    >That application that just got a response.
  147. 147.
    >Wonder what they sent--
  148. 148.
    >Opening the email, your heart seizes in fear.
  149. 149.
    >Practically throwing yourself out of your chair, you scramble away from your desktop, as if you could somehow hide from the email itself.
  150. 150.
    >It’s only two sentences, but it's two sentences that terrify you beyond any fear you’ve ever felt.
  151. 151.
    >”I figured out your little puzzle Floor! I’ll be paying a visit to 123 Oats Lane, apartment 13 soon!”
  152. 152.
    >How- how did they figure out your real name and address!?
  153. 153.
    >To make matters worse, there’s a picture embedded.
  154. 154.
    >A picture that chills you to your very bones.
  155. 155.
    >It’s a dark room, so dark all you can see is a pair of soulless, glowing blue eyes.
  156. 156.
    >Glowing blue eyes that are staring at you, like a predator hungry for the kill.
  157. 157.
    >Ohbuckohbuckohbuck
  158. 158.
    >What have you done!?
  159. 159.
    >You- you’ve gotta hide!
  160. 160.
    >Scrambling towards your bed, you pray to find some sort of safety under it.
  161. 161.
    >Oh Celestia, you can practically feel those eyes still watching you!
  162. 162.
    >You need to-
  163. 163.
    >Wait.
  164. 164.
    >Wait wait wait wait.
  165. 165.
    >There’s no way you actually attracted some supernatural monster... right?
  166. 166.
    >O-of course not. Changelings aren’t real!
  167. 167.
    >It’s probably just those scammers getting back at you!
  168. 168.
    >Yeah, yeah that’s gotta be it.
  169. 169.
    >You bet if you put that image in reverse image search, you’d get hundreds of duplicates.
  170. 170.
    >In fact, that’s exactly what you’ll do.
  171. 171.
    >So pulling yourself back out from under your bed, and suppressing that deep feeling of dread in your gut, you walk back over to the computer.
  172. 172.
    >Let’s reverse image search aaaaaaaand-
  173. 173.
    >Zero results.
  174. 174.
    >If your shriek of annoyance yesterday didn’t annoy the hay out of your neighbors, you shriek of terror today sure did.
  175. 175.
     
  176. 176.
    >You are Floor Bored, and today you have to do something you wish you’d never have to do.
  177. 177.
    >Go outside.
  178. 178.
    >Desperate times call for desperate measures, though.
  179. 179.
    >After all that... that THING was coming, and there was no way you were just going to rest on your haunches ‘till it gets here.
  180. 180.
    >You couldn’t just go to the authorities, nopony would believe you!
  181. 181.
    >No, your only option was to prepare for its arrival by fortifying your apartment.
  182. 182.
    >Which forced you to confront the unfortunate fact that you own none of the supplies you needed to do that.
  183. 183.
    >Leaving you with only one option: take a trip to Stable Depot, in broad daylight no less.
  184. 184.
    >Your NEET instincts scream at you to wait until the sun goes down, but that’s when it's most likely to strike!
  185. 185.
    >So you go now.
  186. 186.
    >All you’ve got to do is cross the threshold, and go out into the world.
  187. 187.
    >Come on, you can do it.
  188. 188.
    >Your life depends on it!
  189. 189.
    >Forcing your right forehoof forward, you just barely get it out of your apartment.
  190. 190.
    >Phew! Alright, that’s the hardest part.
  191. 191.
    >Just put one hoof in front of the other, Floor....
  192. 192.
    >Aaaand yooooooou....
  193. 193.
    >Did it!
  194. 194.
    >Yes, that’s step one!
  195. 195.
    >Now you just need to take another step.
  196. 196.
    >Anytime now.
  197. 197.
    >Aaaaaaaaanytime.
  198. 198.
     
  199. 199.
    >You are Nat the changeling, and you’re comfortably seated on the train to ponyville.
  200. 200.
    >You can’t help but admire your disguise’s reflection in the window.
  201. 201.
    >Piercing eyes, chiseled jaw...
  202. 202.
    >Hold on, are your eyes too big?
  203. 203.
    >You turn to the nearest stallion a few seats over to get a look for reference.
  204. 204.
    >As you do, he grabs his son sitting by him and moves the colt to the other side of him, away from you.
  205. 205.
    >Eh, they’re probably fine.
  206. 206.
     
  207. 207.
    >You, Floor Bored, managed to make it all the way to Stable Depot.
  208. 208.
    >Now you’ve got a shopping wagon full of boards, nails, and all sorts of tools you’ll be using to turn your apartment into a fortress.
  209. 209.
    >That just leaves checking out.
  210. 210.
    >And oh Celestia, the only cashier open right now is a c-colt!
  211. 211.
    >Y-you’d better just wait until another aisle opens...
  212. 212.
    >Unfortunately for you, praying that you turned invisible didn’t help, and he sees you waiting there.
  213. 213.
    >”Ma’am? I can help you over here!” he calls.
  214. 214.
    >Buck buck buck buck.
  215. 215.
    >Not having the nerve to call out saying you can wait, you walk over to the stallion.
  216. 216.
    >O-oh Celestia preserve you, the uniform looks so tight on him...
  217. 217.
    [spoiler]>Deep down you know it isn't that tight, you’re just desperate.[/spoiler]
  218. 218.
    >”You find everything okay today?”
  219. 219.
    >Come on Floor, don’t screw this up.
  220. 220.
    >Maybe you’ll be able to come back and get a date with him one day if you can keep it smooth!
  221. 221.
    “Y-yesIdidthankyouverymuchwouldyouliketogoonadate?”
  222. 222.
    >Thank goodness the colt looks like he has no idea what you just said, you did not mean to stick that on the end of that statement.
  223. 223.
    >”Uh, I’m sorry ma’am can you repeat—”
  224. 224.
    >He cuts off his statement though, taking notice of something.
  225. 225.
    >Ooooh now he’s staring at your flanks!
  226. 226.
    >Oh no, he’s staring at your /flanks/!
  227. 227.
    >”Ma’am, I’m sorry but you aren’t a minor, right? You don’t look like a minor but I can’t help but notice you don’t have a cutie mark.”
  228. 228.
    >Your face burns in shame.
  229. 229.
    >Sticking your muzzle into your saddlebags, you solemnly pull out your NEET ID and show it to him.
  230. 230.
    >Oh Celestia, he’s giving you that look everypony gives you when they realize you’re a NEET.
  231. 231.
    >You’re just a late bloomer! You’ll get it eventually!
  232. 232.
    >”Oooh,” he says with a deliberate slowness to each word, “Sorry about that ma’am, but after the Cutie Mark Crusaders last outing, I'm required to ask.”
  233. 233.
    >This just makes your face burn even more.
  234. 234.
    >Great, you can tell by his tone he thinks you’re a retard.
  235. 235.
    >You hate showing ponies your NEET card, this happens every time.
  236. 236.
    >Thankfully, the crushing shame is giving you enough courage to actually talk to him.
  237. 237.
    “I-I’m not a idiot.”
  238. 238.
    >He looks deeply surprised you actually spoke, and now he’s the one with the red face.
  239. 239.
    >Ha! Take that!
  240. 240.
    >It feels like a hollow victory though...
  241. 241.
    >”Oh! I’m sorry I just thought... nevermind, here I’ll give you this hammer free of charge as a formal apology from the Stable Depot team!”
  242. 242.
    >You say nothing, and the rest of the transaction is conducted in shameful silence.
  243. 243.
     
  244. 244.
    >You are Nat the changeling and mare, you love it here!
  245. 245.
    >This town is great!
  246. 246.
    >If this doesn’t work out, you should just stay in Ponyville permanently.
  247. 247.
    >Ever since you stepped off the train it's been nothing but smiles, friendly hellos, the occasional concerned look, and only one foal saying, “daddy, what’s wrong with his face?”
  248. 248.
    >Much nicer than the receptions you’ve been getting elsewhere.
  249. 249.
    >As of now you’re sitting outside a local ice cream parlor, enjoying a confection.
  250. 250.
    >Big thanks to that one mare who sent you a couple thousand bits for those ‘celebrity’ hoof pics!
  251. 251.
    >That’s covered most of your bills as of late.
  252. 252.
    >But this set up? Free food forever?
  253. 253.
    >This’ll be your best set up yet.
  254. 254.
    >Speaking of, there’s a reason you aren’t going to your new paramour right now.
  255. 255.
    >It is well known that NEETs are a nocturnal breed.
  256. 256.
    >And being the soon to be loving ‘husbando’ that you are, you want to take your paramour’s feelings into account.
  257. 257.
    >So it's better to just mill about until the sun sets, then you’ll drop by.
  258. 258.
    >Until then, that’s what ice cream is for!
  259. 259.
    >Mmmmmm, cold flavor, your favorite!
  260. 260.
     
  261. 261.
    >You are Floor Bored, and pushing aside the demoralizing Stable Depot encounter has allowed you to get to work.
  262. 262.
    >And work you have.
  263. 263.
    >Putting down the hammer to catch your breath and wipe the foam off your brow, you take stock of all you’ve done.
  264. 264.
    >Most of your windows have been covered by boards now.
  265. 265.
    >You’ve also installed three new locks on your door, and have begun boarding that up too.
  266. 266.
    >Trying to get back to work, you attempt to lift the hammer only for your foreleg to immediately give out and drop the hammer.
  267. 267.
    >Okay, maybe that’s a sign you should rest.
  268. 268.
    >Allowing gravity to take you, you collapse onto the ground.
  269. 269.
    >Honestly it's probably by the grace of your Earth Pony heritage that you hadn’t collapsed earlier.
  270. 270.
    >This is more physical activity than you’ve done in the past two years combined!
  271. 271.
    >And as you lay here, you can’t help but wonder, is it really worth it?
  272. 272.
    >What if this is your last day in Equestria and you spent it doing /physical labor/!?
  273. 273.
    >No, don’t think like that, Floor!
  274. 274.
    >Forcing yourself to get back up, you ready another board.
  275. 275.
    >Just focus on the joy you’ll experience by rewatching “Lyana Kao Shite Shitagi Misete Hoshī” for the thirtieth time, something you can’t do if you’re dead.
  276. 276.
     
  277. 277.
    >The time has come for you, Nat the changeling.
  278. 278.
    >Sure the sun’s only just set, but you’re just too excited to meet your meal ticket!
  279. 279.
    >So here you stand outside of her building, checking for anything out of the ordinary, just in case.
  280. 280.
    >Oh hey, that looks like her apartment, and you can see boards through the blinds!
  281. 281.
    >Awww how nice of her! Trying to further limit the amount of sunlight that gets in, just for you.
  282. 282.
    >Mare, you really struck gold here!
  283. 283.
    >Alright time to quit wasting time and get in there!
  284. 284.
     
  285. 285.
    >You are Floor Bored, and right now you find yourself taking cover behind your couch.
  286. 286.
    >No, you’re not /cowering/...
  287. 287.
    >Okay you are.
  288. 288.
    >But in your defense, a literal inequine monster was supposedly on its way!
  289. 289.
    >That would horrify anypony!
  290. 290.
    >You should be safe in here though, short of demolishing that door nopony should ever be able to get in—
  291. 291.
    >*knock* *knock* *knock*
  292. 292.
    >Oh buck, oh buck!
  293. 293.
    >Despite yourself you start breathing heavier.
  294. 294.
    >Stop stop! He’ll hear you!
  295. 295.
    >To your horror however, an unnatural and non-pony voice wafts through your door.
  296. 296.
    >”Oh Floor, I know you’re in there! I can smell you!”
  297. 297.
    >Oh BUCK OH BUCK!
  298. 298.
    “G-go away!”
  299. 299.
    >You hear the /thing/ on the other side of the door chuckle, it makes your fur stand on end.
  300. 300.
    >”You’ve nothing to fear, Floor, your new husbando is here!”
  301. 301.
    “I said GO AWAY!”
  302. 302.
    >You hear the thing... sigh?
  303. 303.
    >”Aw mare, this poor filly’s got it bad.”
  304. 304.
    >He clears his throat.
  305. 305.
    >”Fear not my, uh, waifu! No barrier shall keep me away, not this door, nor your anxiety!”
  306. 306.
    >For once you allow yourself a smile.
  307. 307.
    >Yeah right, that doors locked tighter than—
  308. 308.
    >You heart jumps into your throat.
  309. 309.
    >/Something/ is now blocking the light from coming under your door.
  310. 310.
    >A-and there’s some kind of sh-shuffling sound...
  311. 311.
    >Oh Celestia oh CELESTIA!
  312. 312.
    >ITS CRAWLING UNDER THE DOOR HOW IS IT CRAWLING UNDER THE DOOR!?
  313. 313.
    >Ignoring your fear, the flat and now VERY in your apartment ‘stallion’ looks up and smiles at you.
  314. 314.
    >Why are his eyes so big, WHY ARE HIS EYES SO BIG?
  315. 315.
    >”Gotcha.”
  316. 316.
    >Screaming as loud as you can you make a break for your bedroom.
  317. 317.
    >You know it won’t keep him out but you desperately hope anyway.
  318. 318.
    >Slamming the door shut as you drive through it, you wiggle yourself as deep under your bed as you can.
  319. 319.
    >A-aha! It said it could “smell” you earlier, well under here, everything smells like you because you haven’t cleaned under here in months!
  320. 320.
    [spoiler]>Oh hey! You were wondering where those panies got to![/spoiler]
  321. 321.
    >If you can just bury yourself deep enough, he’ll never find you!
  322. 322.
    >It appears you got under here not a moment too soon, as your door starts slowly opening.
  323. 323.
    >As it does, you’re granted a window into your dark apartment, and all you can see are luminescent blue eyes.
  324. 324.
    >Eyes that are staring RIGHT INTO YOURS!
  325. 325.
    >”Found you.”
  326. 326.
    >OH CELESTIA PLEASE YOU’RE SORRY FOR EVERYTHING YOU’VE EVER DONE!
  327. 327.
    >As he charges forward, you close your eyes and scream in a decidedly unmarely way.
  328. 328.
    “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
  329. 329.
    >Holding them shut, you expect to feel his teeth since into your flesh at any moment.
  330. 330.
    >But it never comes.
  331. 331.
    >Instead he... wraps his hooves around you?
  332. 332.
    >Cracking one eye open, you find that he’s wedged himself under the bed with you, with what you suppose passes for a ‘content’ look on his face.
  333. 333.
    >”Oh you really did go all out for me didn’t you? You’re the best waifu a husbando could ask for.”
  334. 334.
    >Huh?

The Long and Short of It (RGRE)

by SQA-non

The Long and Short of It (RGRE) Part 2

by SQA-non

The Long and Short of It (RGRE) Part 3

by SQA-non

Źdźbło Bezwzględny

by SQA-non

THERE'S A CHANGELING IN MY GAT DANG HOUSE

by SQA-non