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/emo/ Deep suffering, chp 5 (End)

By NHanon
Created: 2020-10-23 15:42:53
Expiry: Never

  1. 1.
    >Slowly, you awaken.
  2. 2.
    >Head is throbbing, and your vision is blurry.
  3. 3.
    >Your whole body is hurting, especially your back.
  4. 4.
    >Struggling to move as your head feels like it weighs a ton.
  5. 5.
    >As you try to get up, your leg flares up in pain.
  6. 6.
    “Fuck!”
  7. 7.
    >You pull back, the memories from last night start to return.
  8. 8.
    >Carl’s death, leaving the hospital, drinking home alone, and falling apart.
  9. 9.
    >It’s so hard to focus.
  10. 10.
    >Sitting back down, you examine the damage you inflicted.
  11. 11.
    >You struggle, but in the end, you focus enough to see it.
  12. 12.
    “Thank Celestia...”
  13. 13.
    >Only three cuts, none of them too deep, but enough to hurt like hell.
  14. 14.
    >A distant beeping draws your attention.
  15. 15.
    >Your alarm clock.
  16. 16.
    “Oh shit! What time is it?”
  17. 17.
    >As you go to move, you accidentally put pressure on the leg and immediately regret it.
  18. 18.
    “Fuck!” You sharply inhale. “Idiot, stop doing that!”
  19. 19.
    >Cautiously, you limp to the bedroom to see the time.
  20. 20.
    “For fucks sake!”
  21. 21.
    >You overslept, not by much, but enough to shorten what little time you had left.
  22. 22.
    >Limping back, you run a cold bath in an attempt to clear your head.
  23. 23.
    >The cold water freezes you to core and awakens you fully.
  24. 24.
    >Gently you clean up your cuts and finish up the bath as fast as possible.
  25. 25.
    >You’re trying your best to not cause yourself anymore pain than you already have.
  26. 26.
    >Taking care to wrap up the wounds to the best of your ability.
  27. 27.
    >Unfortunately, you can barely hide it under your wristband.
  28. 28.
    >Wouldn’t take much for somepony to notice.
  29. 29.
    “Will have to do, I don’t have time.”
  30. 30.
    >As you put more pressure on the leg, you limp along in pain.
  31. 31.
    >You hastily empty your bags and replace what ever else you need.
  32. 32.
    >Still have some a minute to spare, but not enough to relax.
  33. 33.
    >You saddle up, grab your keys and leave the disaster that is your apartment.
  34. 34.
     
  35. 35.
    >The bright sun stings your eyes and you stumble a little.
  36. 36.
    >Whatever the effects the bath had are barely helping.
  37. 37.
    >You know for certain your injury will impede your travel, but you try to hurry.
  38. 38.
    >Each step flares up the pain, and you grimace each time.
  39. 39.
    >Some ponies try to greet you, but all you can do is a half smile or nod.
  40. 40.
    >Slowly you approach the hospital.
  41. 41.
    >You don’t bother to stop like usual.
  42. 42.
    >Instead you just keep repeating the words to yourself like some mad mare.
  43. 43.
    “Do it for them Rest, do it for the patients.”
  44. 44.
    >As you enter through the doors, you don’t bother acknowledge anypony.
  45. 45.
    >Just have to hurry to the locker room before you’re late.
  46. 46.
    >Seeing the nearby clock shows you have a little time to get your stuff away.
  47. 47.
    >You barely manage to get your uniform on before Betty comes in.
  48. 48.
    >”Rest we-”
  49. 49.
    >Before she can continue you cut her off.
  50. 50.
    “We will talk later alright? Just not right now.”
  51. 51.
    >Betty looks hurt, but nods slowly.
  52. 52.
    >”Okay, at lunch then?”
  53. 53.
    >Without missing a beat, you nod back and head off to the group.
  54. 54.
    >Head hurts, leg hurts, and your heart is pounding.
  55. 55.
    >You take a moment to get yourself under control.
  56. 56.
    >”Deep Rest, here’s your assignment.”
  57. 57.
    >As you take the papers, you look them over.
  58. 58.
    >Same as usual, with one exception.
  59. 59.
    >Carl’s name is gone, and it makes your heart sink.
  60. 60.
    >Can’t let that get to you right now, no.
  61. 61.
    >It would get in the middle of helping others.
  62. 62.
    >You limp along to examination.
  63. 63.
    >A mare and her filly are your first to look over.
  64. 64.
    >The mother gives you a brief run down of the problem.
  65. 65.
    >Though from experience you know its best to ask the patient directly.
  66. 66.
    “How are you feeling?”
  67. 67.
    >She looks tired, but she coughs before talking in a small voice.
  68. 68.
    >”My tummy hurts.”
  69. 69.
    >She’s so cute, it helps lift your spirits.
  70. 70.
    “Okay, well I’m going to take your temperature and then the doctor will see you. Is that okay?”
  71. 71.
     
  72. 72.
    >She nods and things go by smoothly.
  73. 73.
    >You know today will be long.
  74. 74.
    >At least it’s the last day of the work week.
  75. 75.
    >Each examination goes by without hassle.
  76. 76.
    >And before long, you go onto checking in with patients.
  77. 77.
    >Sky is first on the list, so you pick up the pace.
  78. 78.
    >You leg still hurts, and you’re still limping a little.
  79. 79.
    >You need to know he is okay.
  80. 80.
    >As you enter his room you see Mr. and Mrs. Light talking.
  81. 81.
    >Sky is half out of it, but he gives you a small smile.
  82. 82.
    >”Hi Rest.”
  83. 83.
    >He sounds quite groggy, but looks a little better.
  84. 84.
    >His parent stop talking and look over to you.
  85. 85.
    >Mr. Light looks tired like his wife, with everything they go through, you’re not surprised.
  86. 86.
    >>”Hello Nurse Rest, good to see you.”
  87. 87.
    >While he isn’t there much, he does try to show up when he can.
  88. 88.
    “Hello Mr. Light, good to see you as well.”
  89. 89.
    >You pick up the chart and look it over.
  90. 90.
    >Releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding in, you feel more at ease.
  91. 91.
    >He is improving, slowly, but it’s better than nothing.
  92. 92.
    >Won’t be released anytime soon, but he will likely make a full recovery.
  93. 93.
    “So, how are you feeling Sky?”
  94. 94.
    >You start to write down the information as he talks.
  95. 95.
    >”I’m still really tired, mom said you came by yesterday.”
  96. 96.
    >Readings are stable, good.
  97. 97.
    “Yes I did, though you were asleep the past two times I’ve been here.”
  98. 98.
    >Sky gives a small frown, but continues.
  99. 99.
    >”I’m sorry, I’m so tired.”
  100. 100.
    >Not that you blame him, he’s been through a lot.
  101. 101.
    “It’s okay Sky, you needed sleep to get better.”
  102. 102.
    >He nods slowly and starts to talk again.
  103. 103.
    >”Yeah, bu-” He begins to cough violently.
  104. 104.
    >A quick flash of fear from yesterday hits you.
  105. 105.
    >Training takes over and you reach him.
  106. 106.
    >From the corner of your eye, you can see his parents looking on in worry.
  107. 107.
    >When these happen, you can’t show your fear to the patients.
  108. 108.
     
  109. 109.
    >’You can’t save everypony.’
  110. 110.
    >I will try at the very least.
  111. 111.
    >His eyes bug out and he motions to you for something.
  112. 112.
    >Immediately you grab a nearby pan and hoof it over to him.
  113. 113.
    >Very quickly he empty's the contents of his stomach into it.
  114. 114.
    >You gently rub his back and assist him.
  115. 115.
    >Eventually, he gets himself back under control.
  116. 116.
    “It’s alright, that’s normal, better?”
  117. 117.
    >He can’t talk yet, instead he nods.
  118. 118.
    “Well, I’ll let you rest. Be good for your parents Sky.”
  119. 119.
    >Though he doesn’t say anything, he smiles.
  120. 120.
    >As you’re leaving, his father stops you outside of the room.
  121. 121.
    >>”Nurse?”
  122. 122.
    >You turn to him while Mrs. Light tends to Sky.
  123. 123.
    “Yes?”
  124. 124.
    >He takes a moment, then continues.
  125. 125.
    >>”I want to thank you for helping my son.”
  126. 126.
    >You feel a bit surprised.
  127. 127.
    >While you do hear this often, it sometimes catches you off guard.
  128. 128.
    >>”You and the rest of the staff have done so much for us, so I really do mean thank you.”
  129. 129.
    >You feel yourself smile, hopefully you can find some peace today.
  130. 130.
    “You’re welcome.”
  131. 131.
    >You look to Sky and his mother, he has started talking with her.
  132. 132.
    >>”I wish I could be here more for him, but my work keeps me busy.”
  133. 133.
    >Not too surprising, can’t imagine him fairing better than his wife.
  134. 134.
    >You look back to Mr. Light, and nod.
  135. 135.
    “You’re here now, that is what matters. You do a lot of him, and we do as much as we can as well.”
  136. 136.
    >He slowly nods, and smiles.
  137. 137.
    >>”Yeah, I know.” He shakes his head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t keep you, take care.”
  138. 138.
    “It’s okay, and to you as well Mr. Light.”
  139. 139.
    >Trotting off to do more of your rounds, you still have a small limp.
  140. 140.
    >But your heart feels a little lighter.
  141. 141.
    >Some new patients, some you recognize from earlier in the week from examinations.
  142. 142.
    >For the most part, everything is well.
  143. 143.
    >You finish up, and head to lunch.
  144. 144.
    >This past week, you haven’t eaten much.
  145. 145.
    >And that is coming back to bite you now.
  146. 146.
    >Your stomach growls loudly.
  147. 147.
     
  148. 148.
    >Honestly, you don’t care what they’re serving.
  149. 149.
    >You just grab the first thing you see.
  150. 150.
    >Sitting down, you dig in and don’t notice Betty joining you.
  151. 151.
    >”Hungry Rest?”
  152. 152.
    >Pausing, you realize that you are eating loudly.
  153. 153.
    “Sorry, I’ve been skipping meals, so there’s the first thing to talk about.”
  154. 154.
    >She looks not all that surprised.
  155. 155.
    >Sighing, she starts.
  156. 156.
    >”I was afraid you would say that.”
  157. 157.
    >You talk in between eating.
  158. 158.
    “It’s been a long and stressful week. I skipped out because I couldn’t eat.”
  159. 159.
    >Betty looks a bit angry.
  160. 160.
    >”I see that. You left yesterday before we could talk.”
  161. 161.
    >Deep down, you’re certain that you left early intentionally to avoid her.
  162. 162.
    >Before you can respond, she continues.
  163. 163.
    >”I heard what happened, and I’m sorry that he passed.”
  164. 164.
    >Your appetite falls, so you stop and stare at her.
  165. 165.
    >”There was nothing you could do Rest, it was old age. No pony, not even Celestia herself, could’ve stopped what happened.”
  166. 166.
    >You know she is right, but that doesn’t stop you from feeling terrible.
  167. 167.
    >Sighing, you rub your temples.
  168. 168.
    “Yeah.”
  169. 169.
    >”I came over as quick as I could after work.”
  170. 170.
    >Instantly, you freeze.
  171. 171.
    >Why didn’t you hear her?
  172. 172.
    >”I knocked, but you didn’t answer.”
  173. 173.
    >You probably were passed out by then.
  174. 174.
    >”Rest, could you tell me what happened?”
  175. 175.
    >No, you shouldn’t.
  176. 176.
    >Taking a moment, you fight with yourself.
  177. 177.
    >On one hoof, she is trying to help.
  178. 178.
    >On the other, you’re risking her finding out about your problem.
  179. 179.
    >Looking back to Betty, you can see she has a pleading look on her face.
  180. 180.
    >You blink slowly and sigh.
  181. 181.
    “I’ll explain myself after work, I’ll show you.”
  182. 182.
    >You have to let somepony in eventually.
  183. 183.
    >Even if it hurts, you cannot shut yourself off.
  184. 184.
    >”Okay then, I will literally buck down your door this time if you run off.”
  185. 185.
    >You share a laugh, it’s been a bit.
  186. 186.
     
  187. 187.
    “Alright, I promise mom.”
  188. 188.
    >She smirks.
  189. 189.
    >”Well, time to finish off the day then?”
  190. 190.
    >You nod and get up with her to take care of your garbage.
  191. 191.
    >The rest of your shift goes smoothly.
  192. 192.
    >More vitals taken down, some equipment changed, and of course talking.
  193. 193.
    >Your heart is still hurting from yesterday.
  194. 194.
    >In time, you will get over it, like the many times before.
  195. 195.
    >As your about to go write up your reports, a mare stops you.
  196. 196.
    >”Excuse me, but are you Nurse Rest?”
  197. 197.
    >It takes you a moment, but you recognize her.
  198. 198.
    >It’s Carl’s granddaughter.
  199. 199.
    “Yes I am, you must be Spring Steel.”
  200. 200.
    >She smiles, and nods.
  201. 201.
    >Her icy blue eyes are something she shares with Carl.
  202. 202.
    >”That’s me, Grandpa talked about you before.” Her smile fades a little. “He told me about how you would listen to his many stories.”
  203. 203.
    >It hurts to hear this, but maybe this is fate’s way of helping you.
  204. 204.
    “Mhm, he told me quite a few actually.”
  205. 205.
    >It’s now, that you notice that there is pain in her eyes.
  206. 206.
    >As she sighs, her smile returns, albeit a bit smaller.
  207. 207.
    >”I know we haven’t spoken before, but I wanted to thank you for being there with him. It meant a lot to have somepony listen to him.”
  208. 208.
    >Your eyes moisten, but you try to resist.
  209. 209.
    >Your voice almost gives as well.
  210. 210.
    “It’s fine, you’re welcome.”
  211. 211.
    >She tilts her head a second before she has a look of understanding.
  212. 212.
    >”I miss him, and I can see that you do as well.”
  213. 213.
    >Can’t really fight back these tears much longer, nor the pain in your heart.
  214. 214.
    “Yes, yes I do.”
  215. 215.
    >Spring closes her eyes and reopens them slowly, slightly more teary.
  216. 216.
    >”It may be a lot of me to ask this, but maybe we can hang out sometime? I’d like to have somepony to talk with about Grandpa.”
  217. 217.
    >You say no words and nod instead.
  218. 218.
    >Her voice quivers a second.
  219. 219.
    >”Thank you again, I must be going. Have a lot to do today.”
  220. 220.
    >Your own voice fails you.
  221. 221.
    >Everything hurts again.
  222. 222.
    >You make your way back to finishing up your day.
  223. 223.
     
  224. 224.
    >It’s hard to do paperwork, but you manage somehow.
  225. 225.
    >Your leg still hurts, and it’s going to be hard to explain it easily to Betty.
  226. 226.
    >Speaking of which, she is waiting by your locker as you enter.
  227. 227.
    “Hey.”
  228. 228.
    >She sees the look on your face and a look of concern forms.
  229. 229.
    >”Did something else happen today?”
  230. 230.
    “Nothing bad, I met Spring Steel, Carl’s granddaughter.”
  231. 231.
    >She breaths out a sigh and relaxes a little.
  232. 232.
    >”Had me worried for a second, but I’m hoping the meeting between you two went well.”
  233. 233.
    >It helped in some way.
  234. 234.
    “Mhm, we talked and she asked me if we could hangout sometime. She thanked me for being there for Carl.”
  235. 235.
    >You look down.
  236. 236.
    >Some tears escape, and Betty touches your wither.
  237. 237.
    >”It’s going to be alright Rest. I’ll let you get your things, then we can talk.”
  238. 238.
    >A small part of you is screaming no.
  239. 239.
    >It keeps saying that she will think you’re crazy.
  240. 240.
    >It doesn’t matter, if anypony is going to find out.
  241. 241.
    >You’d rather it be Betty.
  242. 242.
    >Grabbing your things, the two of you leave the hospital.
  243. 243.
    >As you trot to your apartment, she tries to talk to you.
  244. 244.
    >”So?”
  245. 245.
    “I’ve told you almost everything already. Like I said earlier, I will show you when I get home.”
  246. 246.
    >She scrunches her face up, and lets go with a nod.
  247. 247.
    >”Alright, fair enough.”
  248. 248.
    >The two of you reach your home and enter.
  249. 249.
    >You don’t bother to say anything.
  250. 250.
    >Instead you walk over to the couch and drop your things.
  251. 251.
    >Slowly, you turn to her.
  252. 252.
    >You didn’t have time to clean up today, and now she sees it all.
  253. 253.
    >Her eyes are going all over the place.
  254. 254.
    >Pieces of the broken bottle lay against the wall.
  255. 255.
    >Empty bottles on the table and an empty case.
  256. 256.
    >You sit down and wait for her to talk.
  257. 257.
    >Minutes pass, and eventually she starts.
  258. 258.
    >”I had no idea it got this bad, but I should’ve.”
  259. 259.
    >You feel some shame, but not much else.
  260. 260.
     
  261. 261.
    “You’re not a mind reader. I hid it from you.”
  262. 262.
    >Betty shakes her head and looks a bit angry.
  263. 263.
    >With you? No, with herself.
  264. 264.
    >”I knew I should’ve been literal on bucking your damn door down.”
  265. 265.
    >You give a halfhearted smile.
  266. 266.
    “My neighbors would’ve called the guards and things would’ve gotten a lot worse.”
  267. 267.
    >”Rest, I know you’re in pain, but this is too much.”
  268. 268.
    >Your heart hurts more now.
  269. 269.
    >Guess you shouldn’t have told her.
  270. 270.
    >Before you say anything she approaches you.
  271. 271.
    >”I mean you let too much happen to you alone, we’re supposed to be friends. You let yourself hurt this much without telling me?”
  272. 272.
    >You look down and back up at her.
  273. 273.
    “Yes.”
  274. 274.
    >She gawks at you for a second, then releases a sigh.
  275. 275.
    >Betty sits in front of you and face hoofs.
  276. 276.
    >”You don’t have to fight this alone, you should never have to do that as long as you have a friend.”
  277. 277.
    >With those words, you come apart at last.
  278. 278.
    >Tears flow freely and you sob.
  279. 279.
    >Your eyes are shut tightly and you feel Betty wrap her legs around you in a hug.
  280. 280.
    >As she holds you, she whispers the words.
  281. 281.
    >”Everything is going to be okay Rest, we will get through this.”
  282. 282.
    >No point in hiding anymore.
  283. 283.
    >You pull back, remove your wristband and your bandage to show her.
  284. 284.
    >Her eyes widen and she is stares at the cuts.
  285. 285.
    >Your heart beats hard in fear.
  286. 286.
    >The wait is killing you.
  287. 287.
    >Betty looks back at you and her voice is shaky.
  288. 288.
    >”I wish you had told me sooner.” She gives you a gentle squeeze. “We will get you through this Rest, I promise.”
  289. 289.
    >No words escape, and you hug her again.
  290. 290.
    >You’re crying, but not because your in pain.
  291. 291.
    >It’s because you’re happy you have a friend to help you.
  292. 292.
    >You should never suffer alone.

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