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/emo/ Deep suffering, chp 5 (End)

By NHanon
Created: 23rd October 2020 03:42:53 PM

  1. >Slowly, you awaken.
  2. >Head is throbbing, and your vision is blurry.
  3. >Your whole body is hurting, especially your back.
  4. >Struggling to move as your head feels like it weighs a ton.
  5. >As you try to get up, your leg flares up in pain.
  6. “Fuck!”
  7. >You pull back, the memories from last night start to return.
  8. >Carl’s death, leaving the hospital, drinking home alone, and falling apart.
  9. >It’s so hard to focus.
  10. >Sitting back down, you examine the damage you inflicted.
  11. >You struggle, but in the end, you focus enough to see it.
  12. “Thank Celestia...”
  13. >Only three cuts, none of them too deep, but enough to hurt like hell.
  14. >A distant beeping draws your attention.
  15. >Your alarm clock.
  16. “Oh shit! What time is it?”
  17. >As you go to move, you accidentally put pressure on the leg and immediately regret it.
  18. “Fuck!” You sharply inhale. “Idiot, stop doing that!”
  19. >Cautiously, you limp to the bedroom to see the time.
  20. “For fucks sake!”
  21. >You overslept, not by much, but enough to shorten what little time you had left.
  22. >Limping back, you run a cold bath in an attempt to clear your head.
  23. >The cold water freezes you to core and awakens you fully.
  24. >Gently you clean up your cuts and finish up the bath as fast as possible.
  25. >You’re trying your best to not cause yourself anymore pain than you already have.
  26. >Taking care to wrap up the wounds to the best of your ability.
  27. >Unfortunately, you can barely hide it under your wristband.
  28. >Wouldn’t take much for somepony to notice.
  29. “Will have to do, I don’t have time.”
  30. >As you put more pressure on the leg, you limp along in pain.
  31. >You hastily empty your bags and replace what ever else you need.
  32. >Still have some a minute to spare, but not enough to relax.
  33. >You saddle up, grab your keys and leave the disaster that is your apartment.
  34.  
  35. >The bright sun stings your eyes and you stumble a little.
  36. >Whatever the effects the bath had are barely helping.
  37. >You know for certain your injury will impede your travel, but you try to hurry.
  38. >Each step flares up the pain, and you grimace each time.
  39. >Some ponies try to greet you, but all you can do is a half smile or nod.
  40. >Slowly you approach the hospital.
  41. >You don’t bother to stop like usual.
  42. >Instead you just keep repeating the words to yourself like some mad mare.
  43. “Do it for them Rest, do it for the patients.”
  44. >As you enter through the doors, you don’t bother acknowledge anypony.
  45. >Just have to hurry to the locker room before you’re late.
  46. >Seeing the nearby clock shows you have a little time to get your stuff away.
  47. >You barely manage to get your uniform on before Betty comes in.
  48. >”Rest we-”
  49. >Before she can continue you cut her off.
  50. “We will talk later alright? Just not right now.”
  51. >Betty looks hurt, but nods slowly.
  52. >”Okay, at lunch then?”
  53. >Without missing a beat, you nod back and head off to the group.
  54. >Head hurts, leg hurts, and your heart is pounding.
  55. >You take a moment to get yourself under control.
  56. >”Deep Rest, here’s your assignment.”
  57. >As you take the papers, you look them over.
  58. >Same as usual, with one exception.
  59. >Carl’s name is gone, and it makes your heart sink.
  60. >Can’t let that get to you right now, no.
  61. >It would get in the middle of helping others.
  62. >You limp along to examination.
  63. >A mare and her filly are your first to look over.
  64. >The mother gives you a brief run down of the problem.
  65. >Though from experience you know its best to ask the patient directly.
  66. “How are you feeling?”
  67. >She looks tired, but she coughs before talking in a small voice.
  68. >”My tummy hurts.”
  69. >She’s so cute, it helps lift your spirits.
  70. “Okay, well I’m going to take your temperature and then the doctor will see you. Is that okay?”
  71.  
  72. >She nods and things go by smoothly.
  73. >You know today will be long.
  74. >At least it’s the last day of the work week.
  75. >Each examination goes by without hassle.
  76. >And before long, you go onto checking in with patients.
  77. >Sky is first on the list, so you pick up the pace.
  78. >You leg still hurts, and you’re still limping a little.
  79. >You need to know he is okay.
  80. >As you enter his room you see Mr. and Mrs. Light talking.
  81. >Sky is half out of it, but he gives you a small smile.
  82. >”Hi Rest.”
  83. >He sounds quite groggy, but looks a little better.
  84. >His parent stop talking and look over to you.
  85. >Mr. Light looks tired like his wife, with everything they go through, you’re not surprised.
  86. >>”Hello Nurse Rest, good to see you.”
  87. >While he isn’t there much, he does try to show up when he can.
  88. “Hello Mr. Light, good to see you as well.”
  89. >You pick up the chart and look it over.
  90. >Releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding in, you feel more at ease.
  91. >He is improving, slowly, but it’s better than nothing.
  92. >Won’t be released anytime soon, but he will likely make a full recovery.
  93. “So, how are you feeling Sky?”
  94. >You start to write down the information as he talks.
  95. >”I’m still really tired, mom said you came by yesterday.”
  96. >Readings are stable, good.
  97. “Yes I did, though you were asleep the past two times I’ve been here.”
  98. >Sky gives a small frown, but continues.
  99. >”I’m sorry, I’m so tired.”
  100. >Not that you blame him, he’s been through a lot.
  101. “It’s okay Sky, you needed sleep to get better.”
  102. >He nods slowly and starts to talk again.
  103. >”Yeah, bu-” He begins to cough violently.
  104. >A quick flash of fear from yesterday hits you.
  105. >Training takes over and you reach him.
  106. >From the corner of your eye, you can see his parents looking on in worry.
  107. >When these happen, you can’t show your fear to the patients.
  108.  
  109. >’You can’t save everypony.’
  110. >I will try at the very least.
  111. >His eyes bug out and he motions to you for something.
  112. >Immediately you grab a nearby pan and hoof it over to him.
  113. >Very quickly he empty's the contents of his stomach into it.
  114. >You gently rub his back and assist him.
  115. >Eventually, he gets himself back under control.
  116. “It’s alright, that’s normal, better?”
  117. >He can’t talk yet, instead he nods.
  118. “Well, I’ll let you rest. Be good for your parents Sky.”
  119. >Though he doesn’t say anything, he smiles.
  120. >As you’re leaving, his father stops you outside of the room.
  121. >>”Nurse?”
  122. >You turn to him while Mrs. Light tends to Sky.
  123. “Yes?”
  124. >He takes a moment, then continues.
  125. >>”I want to thank you for helping my son.”
  126. >You feel a bit surprised.
  127. >While you do hear this often, it sometimes catches you off guard.
  128. >>”You and the rest of the staff have done so much for us, so I really do mean thank you.”
  129. >You feel yourself smile, hopefully you can find some peace today.
  130. “You’re welcome.”
  131. >You look to Sky and his mother, he has started talking with her.
  132. >>”I wish I could be here more for him, but my work keeps me busy.”
  133. >Not too surprising, can’t imagine him fairing better than his wife.
  134. >You look back to Mr. Light, and nod.
  135. “You’re here now, that is what matters. You do a lot of him, and we do as much as we can as well.”
  136. >He slowly nods, and smiles.
  137. >>”Yeah, I know.” He shakes his head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t keep you, take care.”
  138. “It’s okay, and to you as well Mr. Light.”
  139. >Trotting off to do more of your rounds, you still have a small limp.
  140. >But your heart feels a little lighter.
  141. >Some new patients, some you recognize from earlier in the week from examinations.
  142. >For the most part, everything is well.
  143. >You finish up, and head to lunch.
  144. >This past week, you haven’t eaten much.
  145. >And that is coming back to bite you now.
  146. >Your stomach growls loudly.
  147.  
  148. >Honestly, you don’t care what they’re serving.
  149. >You just grab the first thing you see.
  150. >Sitting down, you dig in and don’t notice Betty joining you.
  151. >”Hungry Rest?”
  152. >Pausing, you realize that you are eating loudly.
  153. “Sorry, I’ve been skipping meals, so there’s the first thing to talk about.”
  154. >She looks not all that surprised.
  155. >Sighing, she starts.
  156. >”I was afraid you would say that.”
  157. >You talk in between eating.
  158. “It’s been a long and stressful week. I skipped out because I couldn’t eat.”
  159. >Betty looks a bit angry.
  160. >”I see that. You left yesterday before we could talk.”
  161. >Deep down, you’re certain that you left early intentionally to avoid her.
  162. >Before you can respond, she continues.
  163. >”I heard what happened, and I’m sorry that he passed.”
  164. >Your appetite falls, so you stop and stare at her.
  165. >”There was nothing you could do Rest, it was old age. No pony, not even Celestia herself, could’ve stopped what happened.”
  166. >You know she is right, but that doesn’t stop you from feeling terrible.
  167. >Sighing, you rub your temples.
  168. “Yeah.”
  169. >”I came over as quick as I could after work.”
  170. >Instantly, you freeze.
  171. >Why didn’t you hear her?
  172. >”I knocked, but you didn’t answer.”
  173. >You probably were passed out by then.
  174. >”Rest, could you tell me what happened?”
  175. >No, you shouldn’t.
  176. >Taking a moment, you fight with yourself.
  177. >On one hoof, she is trying to help.
  178. >On the other, you’re risking her finding out about your problem.
  179. >Looking back to Betty, you can see she has a pleading look on her face.
  180. >You blink slowly and sigh.
  181. “I’ll explain myself after work, I’ll show you.”
  182. >You have to let somepony in eventually.
  183. >Even if it hurts, you cannot shut yourself off.
  184. >”Okay then, I will literally buck down your door this time if you run off.”
  185. >You share a laugh, it’s been a bit.
  186.  
  187. “Alright, I promise mom.”
  188. >She smirks.
  189. >”Well, time to finish off the day then?”
  190. >You nod and get up with her to take care of your garbage.
  191. >The rest of your shift goes smoothly.
  192. >More vitals taken down, some equipment changed, and of course talking.
  193. >Your heart is still hurting from yesterday.
  194. >In time, you will get over it, like the many times before.
  195. >As your about to go write up your reports, a mare stops you.
  196. >”Excuse me, but are you Nurse Rest?”
  197. >It takes you a moment, but you recognize her.
  198. >It’s Carl’s granddaughter.
  199. “Yes I am, you must be Spring Steel.”
  200. >She smiles, and nods.
  201. >Her icy blue eyes are something she shares with Carl.
  202. >”That’s me, Grandpa talked about you before.” Her smile fades a little. “He told me about how you would listen to his many stories.”
  203. >It hurts to hear this, but maybe this is fate’s way of helping you.
  204. “Mhm, he told me quite a few actually.”
  205. >It’s now, that you notice that there is pain in her eyes.
  206. >As she sighs, her smile returns, albeit a bit smaller.
  207. >”I know we haven’t spoken before, but I wanted to thank you for being there with him. It meant a lot to have somepony listen to him.”
  208. >Your eyes moisten, but you try to resist.
  209. >Your voice almost gives as well.
  210. “It’s fine, you’re welcome.”
  211. >She tilts her head a second before she has a look of understanding.
  212. >”I miss him, and I can see that you do as well.”
  213. >Can’t really fight back these tears much longer, nor the pain in your heart.
  214. “Yes, yes I do.”
  215. >Spring closes her eyes and reopens them slowly, slightly more teary.
  216. >”It may be a lot of me to ask this, but maybe we can hang out sometime? I’d like to have somepony to talk with about Grandpa.”
  217. >You say no words and nod instead.
  218. >Her voice quivers a second.
  219. >”Thank you again, I must be going. Have a lot to do today.”
  220. >Your own voice fails you.
  221. >Everything hurts again.
  222. >You make your way back to finishing up your day.
  223.  
  224. >It’s hard to do paperwork, but you manage somehow.
  225. >Your leg still hurts, and it’s going to be hard to explain it easily to Betty.
  226. >Speaking of which, she is waiting by your locker as you enter.
  227. “Hey.”
  228. >She sees the look on your face and a look of concern forms.
  229. >”Did something else happen today?”
  230. “Nothing bad, I met Spring Steel, Carl’s granddaughter.”
  231. >She breaths out a sigh and relaxes a little.
  232. >”Had me worried for a second, but I’m hoping the meeting between you two went well.”
  233. >It helped in some way.
  234. “Mhm, we talked and she asked me if we could hangout sometime. She thanked me for being there for Carl.”
  235. >You look down.
  236. >Some tears escape, and Betty touches your wither.
  237. >”It’s going to be alright Rest. I’ll let you get your things, then we can talk.”
  238. >A small part of you is screaming no.
  239. >It keeps saying that she will think you’re crazy.
  240. >It doesn’t matter, if anypony is going to find out.
  241. >You’d rather it be Betty.
  242. >Grabbing your things, the two of you leave the hospital.
  243. >As you trot to your apartment, she tries to talk to you.
  244. >”So?”
  245. “I’ve told you almost everything already. Like I said earlier, I will show you when I get home.”
  246. >She scrunches her face up, and lets go with a nod.
  247. >”Alright, fair enough.”
  248. >The two of you reach your home and enter.
  249. >You don’t bother to say anything.
  250. >Instead you walk over to the couch and drop your things.
  251. >Slowly, you turn to her.
  252. >You didn’t have time to clean up today, and now she sees it all.
  253. >Her eyes are going all over the place.
  254. >Pieces of the broken bottle lay against the wall.
  255. >Empty bottles on the table and an empty case.
  256. >You sit down and wait for her to talk.
  257. >Minutes pass, and eventually she starts.
  258. >”I had no idea it got this bad, but I should’ve.”
  259. >You feel some shame, but not much else.
  260.  
  261. “You’re not a mind reader. I hid it from you.”
  262. >Betty shakes her head and looks a bit angry.
  263. >With you? No, with herself.
  264. >”I knew I should’ve been literal on bucking your damn door down.”
  265. >You give a halfhearted smile.
  266. “My neighbors would’ve called the guards and things would’ve gotten a lot worse.”
  267. >”Rest, I know you’re in pain, but this is too much.”
  268. >Your heart hurts more now.
  269. >Guess you shouldn’t have told her.
  270. >Before you say anything she approaches you.
  271. >”I mean you let too much happen to you alone, we’re supposed to be friends. You let yourself hurt this much without telling me?”
  272. >You look down and back up at her.
  273. “Yes.”
  274. >She gawks at you for a second, then releases a sigh.
  275. >Betty sits in front of you and face hoofs.
  276. >”You don’t have to fight this alone, you should never have to do that as long as you have a friend.”
  277. >With those words, you come apart at last.
  278. >Tears flow freely and you sob.
  279. >Your eyes are shut tightly and you feel Betty wrap her legs around you in a hug.
  280. >As she holds you, she whispers the words.
  281. >”Everything is going to be okay Rest, we will get through this.”
  282. >No point in hiding anymore.
  283. >You pull back, remove your wristband and your bandage to show her.
  284. >Her eyes widen and she is stares at the cuts.
  285. >Your heart beats hard in fear.
  286. >The wait is killing you.
  287. >Betty looks back at you and her voice is shaky.
  288. >”I wish you had told me sooner.” She gives you a gentle squeeze. “We will get you through this Rest, I promise.”
  289. >No words escape, and you hug her again.
  290. >You’re crying, but not because your in pain.
  291. >It’s because you’re happy you have a friend to help you.
  292. >You should never suffer alone.
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