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/emo/ Eri's week, chp 1

By NHanon
Created: 23rd October 2020 03:30:59 PM

  1. >They say if you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back.
  2. >Well, you’re staying into something that could be considered an abyss, but then why does it have eyes? Pale eyes, that follow you, your every move.
  3. >Why doesn’t it scare you? You should be afraid, but you’re not. It’s probably because there was something comforting in the darkness. A peace perhaps? No, that isn’t it.
  4. >Your thoughts are distracted by a noise.
  5. >A sound akin to insects crawling rises slowly, something about it is off. You can’t quite place it though. Whatever it is, it’s making your skin crawl.
  6. >Slowly, the abyss takes shape. The features attempting to form from the nothingness. The eyes stare back at you the whole time, they are familiar. A face you know, like an old friend you haven’t talked to in years.
  7. >A head takes form and with it, the features mold to it. Features you should know, but don’t.
  8. >Why can’t you recognize it.
  9. >Run says your instincts.
  10. >What?
  11. >YOU NEED TO RUN.
  12. >You can’t.
  13. >Eyes and a head now, it’s a pony, like you.
  14. >The rest of the creature takes form just like its head. Each somehow wrong, but right at the same time. It’s alien in nature, somehow natural at the same time.
  15. >The eyes never leave you.
  16. >Whispers join the rising noise, unintelligentable words.
  17. >A single word rises above this sea of chaos. Not a word, but a name.
  18. >Eri.
  19. >Ice fills your veins, your bones, your mind, your soul.
  20. >You can’t move your legs, they won’t let you escape this terror.
  21. >Eri.
  22. >You try to move your head away from the horror, it betrays you as well.
  23. >Eri.
  24. >The pony slowly walks, no that isn’t right, shambles itself to you.
  25. >Each limb attempting to mimic a natural movement, but limbs don’t bend like that.
  26. >Your eyes won’t shut, no tears to block out the visage before you.
  27. >The creature stands in front of you.
  28. >All of its features clear to you, each so horrible.
  29. >It's now you recognize the creature.
  30. >It's you.
  31. >Cold, dead, lifeless eyes.
  32. >Coat is missing large patches of fur.
  33. >Muscle and bone beneath the tears in the flesh.
  34. >Its mouth opens, and a massive writhing mess of insects crawl out.
  35. >Eri.
  36. >You scream.
  37.  
  38. >Practically flying out of bed, your eyes shoot around the room.
  39. >A cold sweat drenches your body.
  40. >Your hyperventilating.
  41. >A single choked cry escapes your throat.
  42. >Tears cascade down your face.
  43. >Grabbing the pillow, you hug it tightly, rocking gently as you sob uncontrollably.
  44. >The same nightmare, its reoccurring. Not every night, but often enough.
  45. >It plagues you, never once do you adapt to it.
  46. >Slowly, you get your crying under control.
  47. >You feel so pathetic, it’s just a nightmare you freak.
  48. >Turning to look to your clock, you see its 3 am.
  49. >Another three hours of sleep.
  50. “Wonderful.”
  51. >Might as well get up, no point in trying to fall asleep again.
  52. >Releasing your pillow, you crawl out of bed and head to bathroom.
  53. >Looking to the mirror, you catch your reflection.
  54. >Same gray coat, same black mane, same dyed red streak.
  55. >Large bags have formed under your eyes.
  56. >A single word describes you perfectly.
  57. “Disgusting.”
  58. >Turning away, you start a cold bath.
  59. >As the tub slowly fills, you sit down and let your mind wander.
  60. >From the corner of your eyes, a reflection catches your attention.
  61. >On the sink nearby, a single razor sits. A reminder of your habit.
  62. >Staring at the blade, you hear the sweet whisper.
  63. >’Bleed away the sorrow.’
  64. >Your heartbeat starts to rise, and the noise of the tub slowly drowns out.
  65. >You start to reach for the blade, when ice hits your leg.
  66. >Jumping, you turn to the source and see you have overfilled the tub. Again.
  67. >Shaking your head, you turn it off and let it drain a little.
  68. >The cold hurts, but it numbs the hole in your soul.
  69. >No point in trying to bathe, you have no one to impress.
  70. >That’s not true, you have one pony who you could call a friend.
  71. >She isn’t around as often as you like, but she does visit.
  72. >’For how long Eri?’
  73. “Until she is sick of me like the others, and abandons me.”
  74. >Feeling your eyes start to moisten, you snap out of it.
  75. “Not again” You already cried enough this morning.
  76. >You finish up your bath and dry off.
  77. >Heading back to the bedroom, you should try writing.
  78.  
  79. >Staring at the blank page, your mind drawing a blank.
  80. >The clock ticks slowly nearby, being the only sound in the room.
  81. >A knocking at the front door breaks the silence.
  82. >Fear creeps up on you, though you are certain you know who it is.
  83. >Leaving your room, you head down stairs to the living room.
  84. >Opening the door to a familiar face, a small bit of relief is granted.
  85. >”Good morning Eri, can I come in?”
  86. >Before you is the one you would call a friend. Deep Rest.
  87. “Ye-yeah, sure.” You stand back and let her into the disaster that is your home.
  88. >Making her way to your couch, she sits down for a moment, before looking back at you.
  89. >She has been visiting you for sometime now since your last attempt.
  90. >No doubt to make sure you don’t try again, but you try to ignore that.
  91. >’The attention she gives is more than you deserve’
  92. >Please, not now.
  93. >”Eri? Are you alright?” Rest says with a concerned look on her face.
  94. “What? Uh? Yeah, sure. Just lost in thought.” A lie, but she doesn’t need to know.
  95. >Joining her, you feel a small emotion enter your heart.
  96. >”Did you sleep well last night?”
  97. “Yeah, I did.” Another lie, you’re such a fucking liar.
  98. >Giving you a look of doubt, she seemingly looks into your soul.
  99. >”Please tell me the truth Eri. I can see that you don’t look well.”
  100. >Those words stab you in the heart, and the truth bled out.
  101. “I’m sorry, it’s the same nightmare haunting me again.” You say looking down.
  102. >She reaches out and touches your whither.
  103. >Your breath hitches, It’s not often you feel the touch of another.
  104. >Turning back to her, you can see the look of concern.
  105. >”It’s okay, dreams come and go, especially nightmares. We can get through that.”
  106. >Feeling your eyes start to moisten, you start to break down like the filly you are.
  107. >Rest pulls you close, and slowly rocks you. All the while whispering. “It’s okay, It’s alright.”
  108. >Why does she help you?
  109. >You’re a freak, you’re disgusting, you’re nothing.
  110. >She wants to help you. A part of you knows its the truth, but doubt still plagues you.
  111. >Your cries finally die down, and you pull back.
  112. >Shame hits you as you see the tears and mucus on her coat, so you look away.
  113. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to lose it. I ruined your coat.”
  114. >”Hey, it’s okay, I’ll wash it off later.” She smiles “Please look at me Eri.”
  115. >You look back into those red eyes, and feel a small bit of hope.
  116. >While she doesn’t fully understand you, she is the closest out of everypony you ever knew to attempt to.
  117. >”Do you remember what I said when you were in the hospital?”
  118. >That place was hell, so sterile and lifeless.
  119. >The only light, was Rest.
  120. >You nod slowly, still sniffling.
  121. “That we will get through this together.”
  122. >A smile forms on her face. “That’s right, I promised I would help you no matter what.”
  123. >You still cling to that, it’s your only rock in this storm that you call your life.
  124. >”Although my shift starts soon, I promise I will be back after work. We can talk more then. Can you promise me to be safe?”
  125. >You want to tell her the truth, you really do, but you know better.
  126. >So you lie, like always.
  127. “Ye-yeah, I’ll be safe, I promise.” Such a disgusting lie.
  128. >She somehow accepts it.
  129. >”Alright, now remember, no matter what. If you feel the urge to hurt yourself, try to think of me, okay?”
  130. “Yes Rest.” You say with a small smile.
  131. >She nods and as she gets up, but stops for a moment.
  132. >Turning back to you, she gives you another hug.
  133. >You freeze up, but slowly accept it. She smells so nice.
  134. >Letting go, she looks at you again before making her way to the door.
  135. >”Good bye Eri, please stay safe.” Reminding you again.
  136. “Yo-you too.” You stutter out.
  137. >As she leaves you, silence rejoins you.
  138. >A small pang of hunger hits you, normally you would ignore it, but talking to Rest has granted you the strength to eat.
  139.  
  140. >You make a bowl of oatmeal to eat.
  141. >As you eat, you taste the blandness of your food, but you don’t care.
  142. >Stray thoughts cross your mind.
  143. >Looking down, you absentmindedly rub your hoof over your scars.
  144. >A permanent reminder of your acts.
  145. >Rest’s words fill your mind. “Please stay safe.”
  146. >Knocking draws your attention.
  147. “Is it Rest? Did she not have to work today?” Hope fills you, so you get up.
  148. >Quickly making your way to the door, and open it without a second thought.
  149. “Rest!”
  150. >”Sorry? Who-wait a moment. Eri? Is that really you? It’s been so long.”
  151. >Your mind locks up with a flurry of emotions.
  152. >Before you, nightmare made manifest, is the ghost of your past.
  153. >”Don’t you recognize me? It’s me, Connie Amore. I’m visiting Ponyville this week, and figured I could swing by to catch up.” She says with a smile.
  154. >Feeling stunned, you can’t fathom how to react other than just standing there.
  155. >”Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Do you mind me coming in so we can talk?”
  156. >A single emotion enters your mind above the sea of chaos.
  157. >Rage.
  158. “Why.” You barely whisper.
  159. >”Sorry, I didn’t catch that.” She leans a little closer to hear you.
  160. >Feeling the burning fury within, your breathing and heartbeat rises.
  161. “You can’t be here, no, you don’t deserve to be here.”
  162. >”Excuse me, what do you mean?” She looks at you in worry.
  163. “Get out.”
  164. >”Eri please, its been so long. I want to make things right.”
  165. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!” You scream and slam the door in her face.
  166. >You can hear her rapidly knocking the door and trying to reopen it.
  167. >Barely holding it closed, you managed to lock it.
  168. >”Eri please! Don’t lock me out, I’m your friend! Please try remember.” She seems desperate now.
  169. >You fall to the ground, with your head in your hooves. Rocking in an attempt to calm down.
  170. >A loud bang breaks you out of your attempts and the door shakes violently.
  171. >Did she just try to buck your door down?
  172. >Another bang, so you start to cry.
  173. >”ERI PLEASE!”
  174. “NO! GO AWAY!” Your cries turn to sobs. “Go away, go away, go away…”
  175. >One final bang before silence.
  176. >Crying still and waiting in anticipation for her to try again, you count the seconds.
  177. >Minutes pass and still nothing.
  178. >You must see if the demon is gone. Slowly, you crawl off the ground and peek through the window.
  179. >She is gone, but the damage is done.
  180. >Falling to the ground again, the memories from your past flash freshly in your mind. She was, keyword was, your best friend.
  181. >Then she betrayed and left you alone.
  182. >You sob uncontrollably now.
  183. “Why? Out of all the times, why now?” You cough. “I was starting to feel a little better, and now she comes back to torment me.” Shuddering again. “Wasn’t it enough when I was little?”
  184. >’Bleed away the sorrow Eri.’
  185. “No.”
  186. >’It’s the only way Eri.’
  187. >Hearing the echos of Rest. “If you feel the urge to hurt yourself, think of me.”
  188. >Although you try, the pain remains.
  189. >’You don’t have to cut deep, just a little cut to make the pain go away.’
  190. “Bu-but Rest asked me not to.”
  191. >’She doesn’t have to know, it’s our little secret.’
  192. >You don’t want to, but deep down, you know the thought is right.
  193. >Slowly, you drag yourself up the stairs.
  194.  
  195. >In the bathroom, on the sink, your salvation awaits.
  196. >Vision has tunneled in on the blade before you.
  197. >Reaching down, you pick it up and tightly grip it with your teeth.
  198. >You set your sets on a old spot you haven’t cut in a while.
  199. >’Time to add another one Eri.’
  200. >As your about to cut, your reflection catches you.
  201. >A broken mare stares back, and the word from before comes back.
  202. “Disgusting.” Saying through clenched teeth.
  203. >In a single breath, you slice into your foreleg.
  204. >Fresh pain fills your senses as you suck in air sharply.
  205. >Crimson oozes through your fur and down your leg.
  206. >’Good filly.’
  207. >It’s not enough, you know that.
  208. “One more to be sure.”
  209. >In your attempt you shudder and cut a little deeper.
  210. “FUCK!” You cry out and drop the blade.
  211. >Slamming back into the wall, you stumble around in pain until your head hits the tub rim.
  212. >Falling face first, the darkness consumes you.
  213.  
  214. >The sound of thunder and something else slowly draws your from your slumber.
  215. >It’s the sound of your heartbeat and? Sobbing?
  216. >”Please wake up, please wake up!”
  217. >You know that voice anywhere.
  218. “Rest?” Your voice is barely a whisper.
  219. >Vision has returned and the mare is over you with tears streaming down her face.
  220. >”Eri! Thank Celestia, I’m going to try get you to the hospital.”
  221. >Panic hits you as her words fall upon you.
  222. “No!” You attempt to move, but she restrains you.
  223. >”You’re injured and I’ve dressed it to the best of my ability, but you need to get to the hospital now!”
  224. >While you’re certain she is right, you don’t want to go back. Not again.
  225. “I said no! Please Rest, don’t make me go back there! It was all an accident, I swear!” You attempt to plead to her.
  226. >She looks at you with anger.
  227. >”Eri for fucks sake! I know the place is hell, but you can’t just let this go untreated.”
  228. “Please Rest, I’m begging you. If you’re really my friend, then don’t do this!”
  229. >Conflict crosses her face, and then a mixture of emotions you don’t recognize before she stands.
  230. >”For fucks sake Eri! We are friends, but you can’t expect me to ignore my duties as a medical professional for somepony in need!” She shouts at you.
  231. >Flinching back, her face switches to that of remorse.
  232. >”Please Eri. Do it for me.”
  233. >’Don’t listen to her, she’s lying to you. They will lock you away again.’
  234. “Rest I-”
  235. >”I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise you.”
  236. “Okay.” You say in a little voice.
  237. >She smiles before helping you up.
  238. >You lean on her, trying not to move the injured leg. It’s wrapped in a brown towel, though it’s starting to turn red now.
  239. >Slowly, the two of you make it out of your home and into the evening night down the road.
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