GREEN
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2594 14.06 KB 239
2594 14.06 KB 239
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>They say if you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back.
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>Well, you’re staying into something that could be considered an abyss, but then why does it have eyes? Pale eyes, that follow you, your every move.
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>Why doesn’t it scare you? You should be afraid, but you’re not. It’s probably because there was something comforting in the darkness. A peace perhaps? No, that isn’t it.
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>Your thoughts are distracted by a noise.
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>A sound akin to insects crawling rises slowly, something about it is off. You can’t quite place it though. Whatever it is, it’s making your skin crawl.
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>Slowly, the abyss takes shape. The features attempting to form from the nothingness. The eyes stare back at you the whole time, they are familiar. A face you know, like an old friend you haven’t talked to in years.
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>A head takes form and with it, the features mold to it. Features you should know, but don’t.
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>Why can’t you recognize it.
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>Run says your instincts.
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>What?
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>YOU NEED TO RUN.
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>You can’t.
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>Eyes and a head now, it’s a pony, like you.
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>The rest of the creature takes form just like its head. Each somehow wrong, but right at the same time. It’s alien in nature, somehow natural at the same time.
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>The eyes never leave you.
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>Whispers join the rising noise, unintelligentable words.
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>A single word rises above this sea of chaos. Not a word, but a name.
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>Eri.
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>Ice fills your veins, your bones, your mind, your soul.
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>You can’t move your legs, they won’t let you escape this terror.
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>Eri.
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>You try to move your head away from the horror, it betrays you as well.
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>Eri.
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>The pony slowly walks, no that isn’t right, shambles itself to you.
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>Each limb attempting to mimic a natural movement, but limbs don’t bend like that.
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>Your eyes won’t shut, no tears to block out the visage before you.
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>The creature stands in front of you.
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>All of its features clear to you, each so horrible.
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>It's now you recognize the creature.
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>It's you.
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>Cold, dead, lifeless eyes.
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>Coat is missing large patches of fur.
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>Muscle and bone beneath the tears in the flesh.
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>Its mouth opens, and a massive writhing mess of insects crawl out.
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>Eri.
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>You scream.
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>Practically flying out of bed, your eyes shoot around the room.
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>A cold sweat drenches your body.
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>Your hyperventilating.
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>A single choked cry escapes your throat.
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>Tears cascade down your face.
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>Grabbing the pillow, you hug it tightly, rocking gently as you sob uncontrollably.
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>The same nightmare, its reoccurring. Not every night, but often enough.
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>It plagues you, never once do you adapt to it.
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>Slowly, you get your crying under control.
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>You feel so pathetic, it’s just a nightmare you freak.
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>Turning to look to your clock, you see its 3 am.
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>Another three hours of sleep.
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“Wonderful.”
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>Might as well get up, no point in trying to fall asleep again.
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>Releasing your pillow, you crawl out of bed and head to bathroom.
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>Looking to the mirror, you catch your reflection.
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>Same gray coat, same black mane, same dyed red streak.
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>Large bags have formed under your eyes.
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>A single word describes you perfectly.
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“Disgusting.”
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>Turning away, you start a cold bath.
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>As the tub slowly fills, you sit down and let your mind wander.
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>From the corner of your eyes, a reflection catches your attention.
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>On the sink nearby, a single razor sits. A reminder of your habit.
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>Staring at the blade, you hear the sweet whisper.
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>’Bleed away the sorrow.’
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>Your heartbeat starts to rise, and the noise of the tub slowly drowns out.
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>You start to reach for the blade, when ice hits your leg.
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>Jumping, you turn to the source and see you have overfilled the tub. Again.
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>Shaking your head, you turn it off and let it drain a little.
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>The cold hurts, but it numbs the hole in your soul.
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>No point in trying to bathe, you have no one to impress.
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>That’s not true, you have one pony who you could call a friend.
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>She isn’t around as often as you like, but she does visit.
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>’For how long Eri?’
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“Until she is sick of me like the others, and abandons me.”
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>Feeling your eyes start to moisten, you snap out of it.
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“Not again” You already cried enough this morning.
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>You finish up your bath and dry off.
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>Heading back to the bedroom, you should try writing.
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>Staring at the blank page, your mind drawing a blank.
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>The clock ticks slowly nearby, being the only sound in the room.
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>A knocking at the front door breaks the silence.
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>Fear creeps up on you, though you are certain you know who it is.
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>Leaving your room, you head down stairs to the living room.
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>Opening the door to a familiar face, a small bit of relief is granted.
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>”Good morning Eri, can I come in?”
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>Before you is the one you would call a friend. Deep Rest.
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“Ye-yeah, sure.” You stand back and let her into the disaster that is your home.
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>Making her way to your couch, she sits down for a moment, before looking back at you.
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>She has been visiting you for sometime now since your last attempt.
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>No doubt to make sure you don’t try again, but you try to ignore that.
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>’The attention she gives is more than you deserve’
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>Please, not now.
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>”Eri? Are you alright?” Rest says with a concerned look on her face.
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“What? Uh? Yeah, sure. Just lost in thought.” A lie, but she doesn’t need to know.
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>Joining her, you feel a small emotion enter your heart.
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>”Did you sleep well last night?”
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“Yeah, I did.” Another lie, you’re such a fucking liar.
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>Giving you a look of doubt, she seemingly looks into your soul.
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>”Please tell me the truth Eri. I can see that you don’t look well.”
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>Those words stab you in the heart, and the truth bled out.
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“I’m sorry, it’s the same nightmare haunting me again.” You say looking down.
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>She reaches out and touches your whither.
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>Your breath hitches, It’s not often you feel the touch of another.
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>Turning back to her, you can see the look of concern.
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>”It’s okay, dreams come and go, especially nightmares. We can get through that.”
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>Feeling your eyes start to moisten, you start to break down like the filly you are.
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>Rest pulls you close, and slowly rocks you. All the while whispering. “It’s okay, It’s alright.”
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>Why does she help you?
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>You’re a freak, you’re disgusting, you’re nothing.
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>She wants to help you. A part of you knows its the truth, but doubt still plagues you.
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>Your cries finally die down, and you pull back.
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>Shame hits you as you see the tears and mucus on her coat, so you look away.
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“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to lose it. I ruined your coat.”
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>”Hey, it’s okay, I’ll wash it off later.” She smiles “Please look at me Eri.”
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>You look back into those red eyes, and feel a small bit of hope.
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>While she doesn’t fully understand you, she is the closest out of everypony you ever knew to attempt to.
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>”Do you remember what I said when you were in the hospital?”
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>That place was hell, so sterile and lifeless.
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>The only light, was Rest.
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>You nod slowly, still sniffling.
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“That we will get through this together.”
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>A smile forms on her face. “That’s right, I promised I would help you no matter what.”
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>You still cling to that, it’s your only rock in this storm that you call your life.
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>”Although my shift starts soon, I promise I will be back after work. We can talk more then. Can you promise me to be safe?”
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>You want to tell her the truth, you really do, but you know better.
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>So you lie, like always.
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“Ye-yeah, I’ll be safe, I promise.” Such a disgusting lie.
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>She somehow accepts it.
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>”Alright, now remember, no matter what. If you feel the urge to hurt yourself, try to think of me, okay?”
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“Yes Rest.” You say with a small smile.
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>She nods and as she gets up, but stops for a moment.
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>Turning back to you, she gives you another hug.
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>You freeze up, but slowly accept it. She smells so nice.
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>Letting go, she looks at you again before making her way to the door.
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>”Good bye Eri, please stay safe.” Reminding you again.
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“Yo-you too.” You stutter out.
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>As she leaves you, silence rejoins you.
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>A small pang of hunger hits you, normally you would ignore it, but talking to Rest has granted you the strength to eat.
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>You make a bowl of oatmeal to eat.
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>As you eat, you taste the blandness of your food, but you don’t care.
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>Stray thoughts cross your mind.
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>Looking down, you absentmindedly rub your hoof over your scars.
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>A permanent reminder of your acts.
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>Rest’s words fill your mind. “Please stay safe.”
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>Knocking draws your attention.
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“Is it Rest? Did she not have to work today?” Hope fills you, so you get up.
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>Quickly making your way to the door, and open it without a second thought.
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“Rest!”
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>”Sorry? Who-wait a moment. Eri? Is that really you? It’s been so long.”
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>Your mind locks up with a flurry of emotions.
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>Before you, nightmare made manifest, is the ghost of your past.
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>”Don’t you recognize me? It’s me, Connie Amore. I’m visiting Ponyville this week, and figured I could swing by to catch up.” She says with a smile.
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>Feeling stunned, you can’t fathom how to react other than just standing there.
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>”Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Do you mind me coming in so we can talk?”
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>A single emotion enters your mind above the sea of chaos.
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>Rage.
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“Why.” You barely whisper.
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>”Sorry, I didn’t catch that.” She leans a little closer to hear you.
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>Feeling the burning fury within, your breathing and heartbeat rises.
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“You can’t be here, no, you don’t deserve to be here.”
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>”Excuse me, what do you mean?” She looks at you in worry.
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“Get out.”
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>”Eri please, its been so long. I want to make things right.”
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“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!” You scream and slam the door in her face.
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>You can hear her rapidly knocking the door and trying to reopen it.
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>Barely holding it closed, you managed to lock it.
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>”Eri please! Don’t lock me out, I’m your friend! Please try remember.” She seems desperate now.
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>You fall to the ground, with your head in your hooves. Rocking in an attempt to calm down.
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>A loud bang breaks you out of your attempts and the door shakes violently.
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>Did she just try to buck your door down?
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>Another bang, so you start to cry.
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>”ERI PLEASE!”
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“NO! GO AWAY!” Your cries turn to sobs. “Go away, go away, go away…”
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>One final bang before silence.
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>Crying still and waiting in anticipation for her to try again, you count the seconds.
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>Minutes pass and still nothing.
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>You must see if the demon is gone. Slowly, you crawl off the ground and peek through the window.
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>She is gone, but the damage is done.
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>Falling to the ground again, the memories from your past flash freshly in your mind. She was, keyword was, your best friend.
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>Then she betrayed and left you alone.
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>You sob uncontrollably now.
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“Why? Out of all the times, why now?” You cough. “I was starting to feel a little better, and now she comes back to torment me.” Shuddering again. “Wasn’t it enough when I was little?”
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>’Bleed away the sorrow Eri.’
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“No.”
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>’It’s the only way Eri.’
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>Hearing the echos of Rest. “If you feel the urge to hurt yourself, think of me.”
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>Although you try, the pain remains.
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>’You don’t have to cut deep, just a little cut to make the pain go away.’
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“Bu-but Rest asked me not to.”
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>’She doesn’t have to know, it’s our little secret.’
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>You don’t want to, but deep down, you know the thought is right.
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>Slowly, you drag yourself up the stairs.
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>In the bathroom, on the sink, your salvation awaits.
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>Vision has tunneled in on the blade before you.
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>Reaching down, you pick it up and tightly grip it with your teeth.
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>You set your sets on a old spot you haven’t cut in a while.
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>’Time to add another one Eri.’
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>As your about to cut, your reflection catches you.
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>A broken mare stares back, and the word from before comes back.
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“Disgusting.” Saying through clenched teeth.
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>In a single breath, you slice into your foreleg.
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>Fresh pain fills your senses as you suck in air sharply.
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>Crimson oozes through your fur and down your leg.
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>’Good filly.’
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>It’s not enough, you know that.
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“One more to be sure.”
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>In your attempt you shudder and cut a little deeper.
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“FUCK!” You cry out and drop the blade.
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>Slamming back into the wall, you stumble around in pain until your head hits the tub rim.
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>Falling face first, the darkness consumes you.
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>The sound of thunder and something else slowly draws your from your slumber.
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>It’s the sound of your heartbeat and? Sobbing?
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>”Please wake up, please wake up!”
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>You know that voice anywhere.
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“Rest?” Your voice is barely a whisper.
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>Vision has returned and the mare is over you with tears streaming down her face.
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>”Eri! Thank Celestia, I’m going to try get you to the hospital.”
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>Panic hits you as her words fall upon you.
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“No!” You attempt to move, but she restrains you.
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>”You’re injured and I’ve dressed it to the best of my ability, but you need to get to the hospital now!”
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>While you’re certain she is right, you don’t want to go back. Not again.
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“I said no! Please Rest, don’t make me go back there! It was all an accident, I swear!” You attempt to plead to her.
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>She looks at you with anger.
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>”Eri for fucks sake! I know the place is hell, but you can’t just let this go untreated.”
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“Please Rest, I’m begging you. If you’re really my friend, then don’t do this!”
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>Conflict crosses her face, and then a mixture of emotions you don’t recognize before she stands.
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>”For fucks sake Eri! We are friends, but you can’t expect me to ignore my duties as a medical professional for somepony in need!” She shouts at you.
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>Flinching back, her face switches to that of remorse.
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>”Please Eri. Do it for me.”
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>’Don’t listen to her, she’s lying to you. They will lock you away again.’
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“Rest I-”
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>”I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise you.”
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“Okay.” You say in a little voice.
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>She smiles before helping you up.
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>You lean on her, trying not to move the injured leg. It’s wrapped in a brown towel, though it’s starting to turn red now.
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>Slowly, the two of you make it out of your home and into the evening night down the road.
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon