GREEN   502   0
   5582 31.67 KB    373

Drunken Apocalypse

By pogoman122
Created: 2020-12-18 23:24:08
Updated: 2024-06-02 03:00:21
Expiry: Never
dont bother reading

  1. >You are Anonymous the Third
  2. >Or really, just Anon, but there are multiple Anons out there it seemed
  3. >But uh, back to the opening of this grand tale!
  4. >You are what many people… Or ponies; you supposed, called a spirit!
  5. >That’s right, a spirit.
  6. >You weren’t a spirit of course, but many believed you to be that way because of how immeasurably long you’ve been on this world.
  7. >You were there for World War 3, watching as nuclear hellfire bathed the land in thick black smog, the skies darkened as many a forest burned down, and the absolute devastation caused by weapons unknown to anybody even tore apart whole continents.
  8. >Somehow though, somehow you managed to persevere.
  9. >Not even you know how you managed to survive those agonizingly long years without civilization, walking the forgotten land in tatters, just barely surviving.
  10. >Decades pass remarkably quick when your entire focus is on survival, the primal human instinct.
  11. >Hunger.
  12. >You were piloting a logistics boat for the U.S. Navy when it happened, delivering some ammunition for an aircraft carrier, and also a pizza for one of your buddies who was a Logistics Specialist
  13. >Ain’t called the Filipino mafia for nothin’
  14. >There you were, off the coast of South Korea, whistling some tune when the aircraft carrier nearby suddenly went to general quarters
  15. >They warned you to get away, to get back to the coast over the radio, you questioned profusely as you had higher orders at the time, but the Captain on board was adamant about you getting the FUCK away from their ship
  16.  
  17. >You spotted a flash of light, then another, and another from the seas of South Korea.
  18. >The flashes came FROM South Korea.
  19. >You covered your eyes, as did your crew, but when the light subsided you could only look on in horror as to what was occuring.
  20. “They’ve finally gone and fucking done it.”
  21. >Mushroom clouds, enormous clouds, with a shockwave rapidly approaching.
  22. >You grabbed as many men as you could and shoved them into your cabin, slamming the door just as the thermal blastwave hit your little skipper.
  23. >The windows cracked, but dare not shatter, lucky for those in the cabin.
  24. >You could only pray to god almighty that those unfortunate bastards still on your ship didn’t die slowly.
  25. >The boat lurched sideways, but did not capsize over, unlike the aircraft carrier some ways away, much closer to South Korea than you were.
  26. >You saw dots jumping off the sides, some clinging on as the massive beast of a boat flipped over sideways like a toddler had just pushed one of his toys in the bathtub.
  27. >You can still hear the distant screaming, the distant alarms, those howls of pain in your fucking dreams.
  28. >This traumatic event that ever so defined your future life wasn’t the main part of this story, however, oh no.
  29. >Sure, Europe, The Americas, Asia; hell, even Africa got bombarded with nuclear hellfire.
  30. >The only continent that probably escaped total destruction was Australia, but you heard they descended into the typical Mad Max wasteland shortly thereafter due to every single import being suddenly cut off
  31. >New Zealand held off the apocalypse for far longer, but all radio contact with them was lost thousands of years ago, only a few hundred years after THEY appeared.
  32. >You’re sure you all know who THEY are.
  33.  
  34. >Those freaks of nature spawned by the very destruction of mankind.
  35. >The goddamn monsters that have the gall to occupy former human lands as their own.
  36. >You saw them before the second ice age spawned, they weren’t all too intelligent back then, but you knew what they would become.
  37. >The myths of legend had come back from the dead to take everything over.
  38. >Ponies, gryphons, dragons, minotaurs… You could go on and on all day about this.
  39. >What really shocked you is when you became a spiritual figure in their eyes.
  40. >The spirit of the seas, they called you.
  41. >All because you took care of what remained of your boat with whatever you could salvage over those thousands of years.
  42. >At first you were okay with these pony creatures, they basically worshipped you, setting out shrines by the sea, placing food at said shrines to “appease” you.
  43. >You weren’t mortified until you found out that these ponies used to be humans.
  44. >Yeah, shocker.
  45. >Those very ponies that now dominated the world used to be humans.
  46. >You discovered this when you had wandered into an abandoned underground military base, seeking shelter from the cold, and you discovered the biological experiments the military and U.S. Government had been doing on the entire human race.
  47. >Remember those GMOs?
  48. >A lot of people said they were harmful, causing diseases, birth defects, all sorts of stuff.
  49. >What you all didn’t know is that those very GMOs were designed to react with nuclear fallout in a very special way, adapting the population to their new environment so that they could efficiently survive.
  50. >That means that those humans that weren’t immediately gone with the blastwave had mutated into the abominations that roamed the earth.
  51. >And somehow you were quite possibly the last man on the planet.
  52. >Barring New Zealand of course, still don’t know how those blokes are doing.
  53. >Again, neither here or now, so lets get back to the present, shall we?
  54.  
  55. >You were currently piloting your little shitfuck of a boat, scrimmaged together with spare parts designed to last for as long as you hoped they would, you inherited some form of “magic” as the rest of the populace called it.
  56. >You guessed your “magic” was longevity of yourself and other items, that nuclear reactor you practically duct taped to your boat has lasted about 20,000 years now, give or take a few.
  57. >The skeletons of former crew members kept you merry company as you drunk liquor you found floating off the coast of some random island, you wagered a guess that those islands used to be the Caribbean, no signs of human life there though, just Zebra tribes you spotted from your binocs.
  58. >You had taken a break for a good thousand years, just a short nap of course, nothing too extravagant.
  59. >Maybe it was more than a thousand? Ah, who the hell cares, it’s all the same to you at this point, nothing ever changes here.
  60. >These damn creatures couldn’t be bothered to actually form civilization anyway.
  61. >You drunkenly set down the bottle of very fine rum and fumbled for your poor excuse for a pair of binoculars, pressing them against where you thought your eyes were as you peered through them with hazy vision
  62. >Oh hey, you were close to Manhattan.
  63. >Wait a damn second.
  64. >You rubbed the lenses of your binoculars, and then slapped yourself in the face a few times for good measure, your ancient Navy cap falling off your head as you did so.
  65. >Let’s check through those good ol’ lenses and see if you were hallucinating.
  66. >Nope, that was… A city, with skyscrapers and everything.
  67. >Granted, it looked victorian, but it was certainly a city.
  68. >Did New Zealand pull it off?
  69. >Did those kiwi fucks actually re-colonize the Americas?
  70. >You extended the range on your binoculars, and saw those god forsaken flying horses whizzing from skyscraper to skyscraper, pulling carriages along with them.
  71. >Definitely… Not.
  72.  
  73. >Guess the ponies rebuilt civilization while you were taking a nap then.
  74. >How quaint.
  75. >You burped, a slight amount of vomit coming into your mouth, but luckily you swallowed it before it was overboard.
  76. “Goddamn horses, they never know when to quit.”
  77. >Unbeknownst to you, there was a port with a pegasus watchpony on duty.
  78. >That watchpony was the notify ships as to whether or not they were allowed to dock into port.
  79. >At the moment, this watchpony was busy filling out a crossword puzzle, halfheartedly glancing up from his post into his stationary scope to check for more ships.
  80. >It was a slow day, so not much cargo was expected to come through to Manehattan.
  81. >Although the Zebrican liquor shipment was a tad late by a few days.
  82. >”Hm…” The pegasus rubbed his chin. “Five letters down, an inhabitant of the nation bordering Equestria to the south- Aha!”
  83. >The pegasus had a eureka moment, excitedly filling out the last piece of his crossword puzzle.
  84. >”Z… E… B… R…Oh fiddlesticks!”
  85. >Unfortunately for the poor pegasus, his pencil snapped in two, he watched as the upper end sailed through the air, directly in front of his viewing port.
  86. >His gaze traveled no further.
  87. >A vessel was coming into view, one unlike any other, it put out no steam, nor was it blown by windward sails.
  88. >And it had such a familiar flag flying on the stern… But the pegasus couldn’t place it for the life of him.
  89. >The pegasus quickly rushed over to his receiver and slammed a hoof down on the transmission button as his wings fiddled with frequencies.
  90. ”Unknown vessel, please identify yourself immediately.”
  91.  
  92. >You jolted upright, being abruptly awoken from your short drunken nap by the intense crackling of static coming from the radio nearby.
  93. >You heard words spoken through the old contraption, but it wasn’t a language you could recognize.
  94. >And boy howdy did you know lotsa languages!
  95. >Not really, honestly, ponies stopped speaking anything remotely close to English a good 15,000 years ago.
  96. >Sometimes though, sometimes they would use an acronym they couldn’t translate over to their “Equish” language, a lot of military lingo happened to be used as code after the whole apocalypse debacle.
  97. >Simple stuff really, just code words that could be easily identified amongst many of the former military populace
  98. >Like geedunk.
  99. >Geedunk meant trash.
  100. >Or bubble gum.
  101. >And it can even mean cafeteria!
  102. >The more you thought about it, the less ambiguous the whole “code system” really was, must’ve had a lot of fun communicating with each other in the aftermath.
  103. >”Unknown vessel, I say; please identify yourself immediately!”
  104. >So out of all that gibberish, you made out the word “vessel”.
  105. >You scoped out the port through your binoculars, and spotted two pegasi with shiny golden armor.
  106. >It appears they had just launched from a tower sort of building, and were heading in your direction
  107. >Oh dear.
  108. >If these ponies still worshipped you then they would be in for a hell of a sight.
  109. >Looking through your binoculars again, you gazed with somber satisfaction as the two gold covered pegasi steadily made their way towards you, chatting with each other animatedly all the while pointing in your direction.
  110.  
  111. “Gee whiz, True Shot, it’s a miracle that hunk of junk out there is even still floating!”
  112. >The other guard snorted, flapping his wings a little harder with the breeze that blew against him.
  113. >”Yeah, you’ve got that right. Ain’t got sails or coal to keep it goin’”
  114. >The two pegasi split off from each other as they made to scout out the stern and bow of the little boat.
  115. >There was a strange contraption on top of the bridge for one, accessible by a ladder; it looked a lot like a wholly metal version of one of those flintlock rifles coming out of Gryphonia, with a huge box attached to the side, but he couldn’t really picture what it really did.
  116. >The poor guard wasn’t paid enough to investigate the purposes of newfangled machinery and the likes of it whatsoever.
  117. >The pegasus landed with a hearty “thunk” as his hooves made contact with the metal bow of the ship, he feared that it would give way, but alas it was not the case.
  118. >He looked around, spotting many flaws, errors, and general inconsistencies that were very much against the maritime union laws of Equestria.
  119. >With a stern glare, he directed his attention towards the glass in front of him, attempting to make whatever piloted this vessel feel guilty for his transgressions.
  120. >His glare faltered as his eyes met with the being behind the bridge.
  121. “S-suh-s-spirit!”
  122.  
  123.  
  124. >Somewhere and sometime in the distant past, in a distant land...
  125.  
  126. >"Duh-vision, fall out!"
  127. >Claps and cheers rang out through the ceremonial hall as family members rushed down to greet the newly minted sailors, families reuniting for the first time within two months, mothers and fathers proudly hugging their sons and daughters; praising them for taking this bold step in their new life.
  128. >You stared on, a piercing ring crashing through your mind as you watched them all.
  129. >Friends you made in boot camp smiled joyfully in your direction as they walked out of the hall with their cheerful families, and you just stood there.
  130. >You didn't really know what to do with yourself to be honest, everyone else had received their orders, and you were the only one in division 156 that was going to be put in temporary holding
  131. >Not to mention that your family simply didn't show up, despite your efforts to get them to come, they just mocked your decision to join the Navy, mocking all that you had gone through, mocking the country, and mocking you for "serving the dictatorship" as they put it.
  132. >Assholes.
  133. >You slipped past them all, and made your way to the Navy Exchange, walking past sailors taking photos around the area.
  134. >A few of them waved at you, though none commented on your somber expression, you weren't happy about the day; Although relieved that you were done with boot camp, you just worried about the future.
  135. >You slipped between crowds of people foolish enough to buy the almost abominably overpriced clothing, hats that screamed entitlement, "Navy Uncle!" and the likes.
  136.  
  137. >You flicked out your phone card as you pulled open the glass door that led to the large amount of phone booths, not a single one occupied, and sat down at the very first one, hanging your things on the edge of the little barrier that seperated each booth.
  138. >Leaning on the table, you stared at the back of the phone card, punching in the numbers on the back as the automatic operator persuaded you to get their newest offer in recharging said phone card.
  139. >All a load of crap.
  140. >Everything is a load of crap.
  141. >You sighed and rubbed your brow as the phone finally started to ring after what seemed like an eternity.
  142. >It rang once, twice, then halfway through the third ring somebody finally picked up.
  143. >"Hello?"
  144. >The sweetest voice you could imagine, at least to your ears, Felicia.
  145. "Hey baby! It's Anon!"
  146. >You mustered at least some modicum of excitement, you couldn't wait to tell your girlfriend that you were finally done with boot camp, and would be able to speak to her on a regular basis again.
  147. >"Oh... Hi Anon."
  148. >She sounded tired, not unusual, so you pressed on.
  149. "I'm finally done with this bullshit, so I'll be able to see you in a few weeks after my schooling!"
  150. >Not waiting for a reply, you pressed on.
  151. "How's life without me? Bet you can't wait for me to come over and-"
  152. >"Anon, please. Just stop."
  153. >An irritated sigh pierced through the ever present ringing in your ears.
  154. "What's wrong baby?"
  155. >Another sigh.
  156. >"We're... I'm seeing Jacob now, Anon. I can't be with a man who I can't even see."
  157. >What the fuck?
  158. "What are you talking about? I'm coming home in a few weeks, at least for a little bit, can you-"
  159. >"No Anon, we're done, besides; I was never really satisfied with you anyway."
  160. >A harsh click ended the conversation, but it hadn't really ended for you yet.
  161. >The dial tone rung in your left ear as you just held the phone there, partially in shock, and partially because you weren't sure what else you were supposed to even do right now.
  162.  
  163. >The weight of this suddenly overcame you, as you realized that you literally had nothing left back home.
  164. >Your best friend had apparently gone behind your back to fuck your girlfriend, no friends, no girlfriend, and a family that didn't even enjoy your company.
  165. >Why did you even bother signing up if your life would suddenly get so much worse?
  166. >You backed away from the phone booth, grabbing your things, and started making your way back to Ship 04. Arleigh Burke. Home for the last 8 weeks.
  167. >You shuffled your way through the crowds, it slowly petering out as you finally started reaching the barracks area, singing an old Beatles song to yourself as you did so.
  168. >You passed several RDCs who, instead of yelling at you, actually congratulated you on graduating, smiling and shaking your hand. It was quite a change of pace from the usual intensity and stressful environment.
  169. >It helped put your mind at ease as you contemplated your suicide.
  170. >A sort of finality settled on you as you marched your way back to the compartment, grabbing your seabag and throwing it on, the weight not being as heavy as when you first marched your way to this Ship in the sleet and hail, getting bitched out for stepping out of line despite the heavy winds and hail slamming into your faces.
  171. >You thought about how you were going to do it, you thought very hard, and then just simply decided with a click of an idea.
  172. >You unearthed the razor they gave you for shaving, and broke a single blade off, shoving the rest into your pocket.
  173. >Footsteps echoed back at you as you made your way into the head, then echoed even louder as you broke through into the showers, you decided to sit in the back corner, leaning against your seabag for some comfort in your final moments.
  174. >You eyed the single razor before you, ears ringing even louder, your vision turning to static.
  175. >Nothing.
  176. >You felt hollow.
  177. >Numb.
  178.  
  179. >And so it was as you lay there, blood trickling from open wounds, spurting, flowing into the drain.
  180. >Dimming.
  181. >Flowing.
  182. >Flying.
  183. >You blinked, not feeling the hardness of the tiled floor beneath your arse.
  184. >Falling.
  185. >You eyes startled open as you suddenly felt yourself falling down, through a tunnel of light surrounded by colorful barriers. Pink, violet, red, all colors really.
  186. >Some were colors you've never seen before.
  187. >You stared down as you saw that you seemed to be falling towards a green circular plate of... Something. Like a hologram.
  188. >You felt immense pressure as you slammed through it, screaming at the sudden pain that wracked your entire body. Like everything had suddenly been warped out of place.
  189. >You barely registered that your face had suddenly gotten longer before you slammed into another field of pink, feeling something erupt out of the sides of your body, but miraculously not shredding your clothing.
  190. >In fact, your dress blues seemed to adapt to the sudden change.
  191. >Were you shorter?
  192. >Where were your hands?
  193. >What the fuck?
  194. >And yet again, you slammed into another field of pure white, you closed your now much larger eyes at the sudden flash.
  195. >The falling sensation stopped.
  196. >You were laying on some hard surface, the dim hum of the AC system long gone, the unnatural light vanished, replaced with what felt like sunshine and the sound of birds chirping. The stale coolness replaced by a refreshing breeze of early Summer winds.
  197. >You allowed your eyes to flicker open, noticing your now elongated nose for the second time.
  198. >You immediately tried to sit up, but found it extremely awkward with your obviously displaced form, everything feeling oh so wrong apart from your uniform, which sat on you differently, and your seabag, which still weighed heavily on your back.
  199. >Finally managing to sit up properly, you took a good look at yourself.
  200.  
  201. >That dull ring in your ears was gone as you looked at your... Decidedly hoof shaped appendages.
  202. >That numbness, that dull feeling of absolute catatonical function of your emotions, was very much still there.
  203. >It had to be shock.
  204. >Your brain releasing one last big burst of DMT before death, to give you this fleeting moment before dying.
  205. >This didn't feel like a DMT trip.
  206. >This felt too real.
  207. >You gingerly touched both hooves together, a resounding clop resulting from the action.
  208. >You chuckled.
  209. >You looked up from your new hooves to view your surroundings, the walls of the compartment had dissappeared, and it appeared you were now in the middle of a town bustling with activity.
  210. >It would be bustling with activity if all the townsfolk weren't busy staring at you in shock.
  211. >They all looked like cute little ponies, all of them were ever so adorable.
  212. >You felt like you were going to absolutely lose your shit at any moment.
  213. >You looked down at the two red stripes that adorned your dress blues, then back at the crowd.
  214. >Some had started to go about their own business, though you did notice a group of particular interesting ponies that were pointing in your direction.
  215. >It looked like they were talking to ponies dressed as Roman officers.
  216. >Ah.
  217. >Fuck.
  218. >This was too much to process right now, so you decided to just go along with the flow, you could process all of this later.
  219. >Right now you had to deal with the situation at hand. The possible scenario that you were stranded in an unknown environment, one that decided WAS NOT the United States, and you have no idea how you got there in the first place! No idea at all!
  220. >Quite the scenario, you'd say.
  221. >Two of those Roman officer looking fellows approached you carefully, talking to eachother, but not letting you out of sight.
  222. >You didn't run away, partly because you wouldn't get very far, and partly because you were taught to respect authority, no matter what it may be.
  223.  
  224. >"Sir, can you please explain how you managed to appear out of thin air, quite literally, in the middle of this town."
  225. >You really had no answer to that.
  226. >The... Stallion? The stallion that spoke to you looked decidedly more official than his companion, so you awkwardly reciting something from bootcamp.
  227. >You brought your left hoof up in a salute, bumping into your white cap.
  228. "This Sailor is unknown of the circumstances in which he arrived here, uh... Sir?"
  229. >The two officers looked between eachother with extraordinarly confused looks.
  230. >Couldn't blame them.
  231. >"Sailor, huh? Why aren't you wearing the standard uniform of the Equestrian Navy then, sailor."
  232. >He spat out that last word, probably thinking you were some sort of stolen valor asshat, but he really wasn't far off. You didn't serve the Equestrian Navy after all.
  233. "This sailor has no connection with the Equestrian Navy. This sailor serves the United States Navy, sir."
  234. >That piqued the officer's interest.
  235. >"Come... Come with us, sailor."
  236. >He almost seemed nervous.
  237. >They immediately started walking away, and you were quick to follow. Surprisingly you had no trouble walking, despite initial failures at sitting up, the cycle seemed uneasingly natural to you.
  238. >The other... Ponies... Unicorns? Wow, what kind of fucking fantasyland did you wind up in? Well, they still stared at you, more or less your uniform and seabag, as you walked by.
  239. >Soon enough, the three of you arrived at the pearly gates of what seemed to be a castle.
  240. >Promising, very promising.
  241. >Internally you were screaming, crying, and raging on about what was happening, trying to produce some amount of sense at what was happening.
  242. >You breathed in, and then out. Taking the words of a previous Chaplain to mind, don't let the stress get to you, power through it, and you'll come out just fine.
  243.  
  244. >After some exchanged words, the gates were hurriedly opened, you being shoved through them rather awkwardly, and the gates then shut with the same quickness.
  245. >You were led inside the castle, noticing a large amount of colorful stained glass windows that depicted odd creatures.
  246. >You thought you noticed an extremely familiar looking boat being on one of said windows, but you were quickly rushed into a nearby room, not being able to see the sights of this new land.
  247. >The door opened to reveal Victorian furniture, an absolutely beautiful long table with a set of equally beautiful chairs, almost perfectly made, as if for royalty.
  248. >This was a castle afterall.
  249. >You were led to a seat on one side of the table, and you took a seat.
  250. >The weight of what just happened finally caught up to you.
  251. >You lay your head on the table, putting it in your new furry arms, which seemed to be an alabaster white.
  252. >You quickly started to sob, not only had you lost your past, but you've also so suddenly lost your future.
  253. >What was going to become of you?
  254. >Were you about to be judged by royalty?
  255. >Oh dear god, you were in royalty's house, so of course they'd come by to execute you, or imprison you!
  256. >Were we at war with this alien nation?
  257. >Thousands of thoughts whirled through your mind as you sobbed, a combination of insanity and ever increasing depressing thoughts whirling through your mind.
  258.  
  259. >Unbeknownst to you, the Romanesque guard behind you, who had stayed behind to watch over their new guest, looked on with sympathy, unable to do anything but watch as you tore yourself to pieces from the inside.
  260. >The guard truly wanted to say something as he heard your soft sobs, he wanted to hug the poor stallion before him and say that it wasn't all bad.
  261. >But really, he had never seen a more distraught pony in all of his life. Never had he seen sadness on this scale before.
  262. >His mouth opened, then quickly closed as the door beside him clicked open. His entourage at the table too busy wallowing in his own hurricane of emotions to notice.
  263.  
  264. >You kept sobbing there, thinking about everything and anything that could happen, would happen, and that has happened.
  265. >You cried.
  266. >That's all you really could do.
  267. >Up until you felt something gingerly rest itself against your back.
  268. >"My little pony, there's no need to be so distraught."
  269. >Whoever it was, they genuinely seemed concerned, and actually seemed to care about you. The only person... Or pony to show any sense of that so far.
  270. >Naturally, you leapt at it.
  271. "I-Is this all real?"
  272. >You sniffled
  273. "Am I d-dead?"
  274. >You honestly thought that you might be.
  275. >"No... You are certainly very alive."
  276. >You started to calm down at that notion, maybe you were alive after all.
  277. "Is it s-safe here?"
  278. >The pony carefully rubbed your back, further easing you.
  279. >"Very much so, nothing can harm you here little one."
  280. >The guard couldn't believe what he was witnessing.
  281. >Princess Luna was actually personally comforting this unknown stallion.
  282. >What a sight!
  283. >You sniffled again, the thoughts raging through your mind like a thunderstorm slowly petered out into a mere drizzle.
  284. "T-thank god. I'm just so scared. I don't know what's going on and I just want to go back."
  285. >You lifted your head, viewing a very regal painting that hung on the wall before you.
  286.  
  287. >Two winged unicorns, pegacorns? They were both absolutely beautiful in the painting, a dark blue pegacorn, and a larger alabaster white pegacorn, similar in color to you.
  288. >"Go back where? If I may ask."
  289. >You shook your head.
  290. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to go back to Great Lakes."
  291. >The pony stopped rubbing your back, and you looked over your shoulder.
  292. >Your eyes widened, and you looked back at the painting, then back over at the pony who was comforting you.
  293. >You were just administered therapy by royalty.
  294. >You gulped and shakily raised your hoof in a salute.
  295. "F-fuh-Fireman A-apprentice-"
  296. >The pegacorn smiled
  297. >"No need for formalities, as odd as they are, I am Princess Luna, Guardian of the Night."
  298. >You dropped your salute.
  299. "I-I'm uh, Harvey."
  300. >The Princess tilted her head at you.
  301. >"Harvey, rather rolls of the tongue."
  302. >You nodded your head mutely.
  303. >"So you are a sailor, no? We understand you are not Equestrian, oddly enough."
  304. >The Princess walked around the table to take a seat directly in front of you, leading you to further contemplate exactly what you had gotten yourself into.
  305. "S-sailor yes, Equestrian n-no."
  306. >She hummed to herself.
  307. >"Pray tell, what other nation would a pony such as yourself serve as a sailor? There are no other nations that properly train sailors such as yourself."
  308. >That struck something inside you for some reason, and so with some modicum of pride for your country you reciting the first bit of the sailor's creed.
  309. "I am a United States sailor, your majesty."
  310. >The Princess seemed to do a double take at that, much like the guards you met, and suddenly regarded you with more interest.
  311. >"How do you know of the United States?"
  312. >Now that well and truly comforted you, this means that you may actually get to go home if they knew what it is.
  313. >So with more confidence, you answered.
  314. "Because I am a sailor under the command of the United States Navy, headed by our Chief of State, Donald Trump."
  315.  
  316. >Princess Luna managed to keep her composure, but you hardly knew that within her churned a great turmoil.
  317. >"My- Harvey, it is with great displeasure that I have to inform you..."
  318. >Luna bit her lip, she wasn't sure how the stallion would react to this.
  319. >"The United States ceased to exist many millenia ago."
  320. >Your eye twitched.
  321. >"We noticed the effect of magic used in time travel on your being, we do not doubt you being a part of its military force, however..."
  322. >That ring started to come back. That dull ring.
  323. >Luna glanced towards the guard, who had begun to get nervous.
  324. >"You are within all official capacity the last remaining member of the United States, and by extension, its government."
  325. >There really was no home to go back to.
  326. >Not in the present at least.
  327. >The ring faded, and somehow you had already accepted what had just happened to you.
  328. >You thought you weren't going to be able to go home.
  329. >Now it was confirmed.
  330. >You were okay with that.
  331. >Two hooves reached towards the top of your hat, your hooves, and you somehow grasped the sailor's cap.
  332. >You set it on the table in front of you and let out a deep sigh.
  333. >Luna seemed to look on with deep sympathy.
  334. >"We know that this must be hard to take in, my little pony, but rest assured you will be granted Equestrian citizen ship, and will be brought up to speed with the culture of the kingdo-"
  335. >You waved that off with a hoof
  336. >Luna pursed her lips.
  337. >"There is the matter at hand that we would like to discuss."
  338. >You ears perked up, an alien feeling to you, but this seemed important.
  339. "What's that, Princess?"
  340.  
  341. >"A few nights ago, an odd boat constructed of metal was sighted off the coasts of Zebrica, headed for Equestria it seems, hence the expediency of your delivery to this room."
  342. >An metal boat?
  343. >You wondered what sort of ships this nation had, if they had never seen a modern ship before... They could still be in the age of sail.
  344. "Metal boats are normal, Princess. I was originally hoping to be placed on an Aircraft Carrier after my schooling afterall."
  345. >She regarded you with an odd look.
  346. >"Yes, although... Because you seem to be in the service of a Navy, we were hoping you knew what the designation "USNS Matthew Perry" could possibly mean."
  347. >USNS?
  348. >United States Naval Service.
  349. >Matthew Perry.
  350. >Oh thank the heavens, maybe you weren't the only one displaced out of time! There could be others!
  351. >As fast as all this was happening, you thanked whoever was up there for looking after you.
  352. >You felt a grin come on, finally, some good news.
  353. >"I... Take it you know what this means?"
  354. "Oh yes, Princess, it means I'm not alone!"
  355.  
  356. >Meanwhile, back with the still human sailor...
  357. >You stared with mild amusement as the guard in front of you went stark white as he stumbled to bow in front of you.
  358. >Guess these prissy pansy little horses still worshipped you.
  359. >You took a swig of the rum, finishing it off before you chucked it into a nearby waste bin.
  360. >You cracked your back, groaning with pleasure as ancient bones snapped and popped their way back into alignment.
  361. “Guess I’d better say hello.”
  362. >You shuffled your way out of the bridge, opening the door and exiting into a cool breeze coming from the atlantic
  363. >Such is life on the USNS Matthew Perry
  364. >The guard was still bowing as you waltzed your way in front of him
  365. >You weren’t really sure what to do in this situation, so you coughed into your hand
  366. >The poor fellow in front of you looked up from his bow, shivering slightly at the sight of you
  367. “Wanna swig?”
  368. >You thrusted the rum out in front of you, and the guard’s eyes widened
  369. >”L-liquor? From the spirit of the seas? H-how could I refuse?”
  370. >You couldn’t understand a single fucking word that came out of the small pony’s mouth
  371. >He did gingerly take the rum from your hand though, and tilted his head back for a quick swig
  372. >You bet he’d get fired for this if anyone found out he was drinking on the job, but that wasn’t really your problem
  373. >Getting drunk would be your special talent, after all

Going Batty Is A Nightmare

by pogoman122

How I Learned To Love Being The Mare In Heat

by pogoman122

Not So Cheery Lee

by pogoman122

Drunken Apocalypse

by pogoman122

Business Ponies

by pogoman122