GREEN
265
0
1710 9.36 KB 183
1710 9.36 KB 183
-
>You overslept, you never oversleep.
-
>However, you don’t feel any fear.
-
>You feel empty and sad instead.
-
>How are you even worse than yesterday?
-
“This has never happened before, I must be sick.”
-
>Though you check your temperature, it still says normal like yesterday.
-
“I don’t understand.”
-
>As you hold the thermometer, you feel yourself start to tear up.
-
“Why? I’m not sick, but I feel awful.”
-
>You barely hold back the tears.
-
“It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s all going to be okay Connie.”
-
>Slowly, you breath in and out in to reel yourself in.
-
“I’ll visit the doctor, they will give me something to fix this. I just have to make it through today.”
-
>Though you’ve managed to push back, the weight is still within you.
-
>You go grab the mail and hopefully try to distract yourself.
-
“Bills, more letters from friends, none from Eri still.”
-
>As you head back to your apartment, you feel worse.
-
>’She probably hates you.’
-
“Why? I’ve been a good friend to her. I visit when I can.”
-
>’But are you there when she needs you like a good friend does?’
-
“I reach out to her when ever I can. I can’t be there all the time.”
-
>’Then you’re not her real friend.’
-
“That’s not true, I am her best friend!”
-
>As you breath heavier, you look around and see a few of your neighbors staring.
-
“Uh, sorry. Everything is fine, nothing to see here.”
-
>Flushed with embarrassment, you enter your apartment and go through the letters.
-
>All have wished you success with your new position, and mention their own events.
-
“At least they are doing well.”
-
>You try to write them back, but lack the will.
-
>So you go grab some pills and take them with tea.
-
“I shouldn’t be taking these so much, but I have to focus today.”
-
>Hopefully this will give you what you need to get through.
-
>Slowly, you feel the effects kick in.
-
-
>While it does give you energy, you don’t feel happier.
-
>You write a few letters before losing more motivation.
-
“Doesn’t matter, I’ll practice and get things done.”
-
>Sitting down on the couch, you start to play.
-
>Even with the pills, your music suffers.
-
>You can barely manage to play now.
-
>It’s definitely worse than last nights playing.
-
>’You’re going to screw up the concert tonight.’
-
>The thought causes you skip a note and you feel frustrated.
-
“Why do I keep thinking like this? Where do these damn thoughts keep coming from?”
-
>You don’t usually allow yourself to use crass language, but you’ve just about had enough.
-
“Breath Connie, let’s try again.”
-
>Readjusting, you play once more.
-
>The notes flow freely again, though they lack emotion.
-
>They feel hollow, like you.
-
>You struggle against this tide of negativity, and can barely play.
-
>This isn’t going to cut it.
-
>If you try to play tonight, you’re liable to disrupt the symphony.
-
>You set down your violin and try to figure out what to do.
-
“I can’t just call it quits yet. I can do this, just need to focus and give it my all.”
-
>With that, you push yourself.
-
>You won’t give up, so you play again.
-
>This time, it’s more passable.
-
>Though you’re certain you can push yourself enough to make it better.
-
>As the time grows closer, you gather your things and head out.
-
>You get a taxi and think along the way.
-
>I can do this, I can play this concert.
-
>’You’re going to screw it up.’
-
>No I won’t, I’ve worked too hard for this.
-
>’That’s why you’re going to fail. You’ve gone too far with all this.’
-
>I may have pushed myself recently, but I can do this, I’ve done it before.
-
>’When’s the last time you got three hours of sleep a night for weeks straight?’
-
>I...It was a fluke, there is nothing wrong.
-
>”Here we are ma’am.”
-
>You shake your head, pay your fair, and head inside.
-
-
>Can’t keep doing this, just take another pill, that will help.
-
>Ignoring the various ponies you pass by, you reach the restroom and take some pills with water.
-
>’Not a very bright idea Connie.’
-
>I need this, I can’t screw this up.
-
>You close your eyes and take a breath, then release it slowly.
-
>Tonight will go as planned.
-
>leaving the restroom, you head back to the dressing room to finish getting ready.
-
>As you finish you find your heart is starting to race.
-
>Closing your eyes, you try to focus on slowing it.
-
>”Connie?”
-
>Opening them back up, you see Feather looking at you with concern.
-
“Hey there Feather, tonight’s the final night.”
-
>”Are you okay, because you’re breathing pretty heavy.”
-
>Damn it, you didn’t realize you were so loud.
-
“Yeah! Just bringing myself into focus like I always do.
-
>’Liar.’
-
>You force a smile to hopefully persuade her.
-
>”Okay, didn’t know you did that, but that explains why you come out after we do.”
-
>Thank Celestia she bought it.
-
“Yeah, it’s just another way to give me a boost.”
-
>”Maybe I should try that.”
-
>’Maybe you should stop lying Connie.’
-
“It might work for you, who knows?”
-
>You see other members heading out and you must prepare as well.
-
“Well, shall we?”
-
>Feather raises an eyebrow before realizing what you mean.
-
>”Mhm, see you out there.”
-
>As she leaves, your heart is still racing.
-
>’This isn’t going to help you.’
-
>I just need to focus like I did earlier, it has to be passable.
-
>’No longer settling for perfect? How pathetic.’
-
>Anger starts to swell within you.
-
>’You know you’re going to mess this all up. Your first ruined concert.’
-
>No I won’t.
-
>’Just wait and see Connie, you’re about to fail.’
-
>You squeeze your eyes shut and shudder.
-
>Slowly, you reopen them and head out.
-
>Other members are warming up and you join them.
-
-
>Hooves shake from the pills and you barely can hold your violin steady.
-
>Breath Connie, you can do this.
-
>As Quiet joins you all, you feel more fear grow within.
-
>The first half begins.
-
>You play, though not as well as you have before.
-
>’You’re going to mess up.’
-
>Hooves are still shaking, heart is still racing, you’re sweating.
-
>The half way point approaches and your losing focus.
-
>Can’t mess up now, just reach intermission and you can rest.
-
>Fate isn’t so kind.
-
>Your desperate attempt to focus causes you mess up.
-
>You freeze, all eyes are on you aren’t they?
-
>Heart is pounding in your ears now.
-
>Ears are twitching.
-
>’Told you that you would ruin this. Look at what you did.’
-
>You’re sitting there, frozen.
-
>Zoning out in horror, you fail to notice that the others are still playing.
-
>’Such a failure, you finally screwed up everything Connie.’
-
>The music is still playing, but without you.
-
>Intermission finally arrives and you feel somepony touch you.
-
>Finally pulled out of whatever state you were in, you see Quiet and Friedrich talking to you.
-
>Their lips move, but you hear no words at first.
-
>”Connie? What happened?”
-
>>”I think she needs a doctor.”
-
>As Friedrich goes to move, you shoot up out of your seat and gallop to the dressing room.
-
>You slam the door behind you, take a few steps, and collapse in a pile.
-
>Tears cascade down your face, and you bury yourself in your hooves.
-
>’I told you that you this would happen, but did you listen? No, now you screwed things up for everypony.’
-
“No”
-
>’You think this is going to end well? Face it Connie, you blew it.’
-
“I didn’t mean to, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
-
>The door opens, and you freeze, trying not to make a sound.
-
>You fail at that, a few sniffles escape.
-
>”There you are! It’s alright, I found her. Connie? Can you hear me?”
-
>It’s Quiet, you don’t want to look at her.
-
-
>”I don’t know what happened out there, but do you need a doctor?”
-
>You can’t ignore her.
-
>As you answer, your voice is a little hoarse.
-
“I don’t know. Something is wrong with me.”
-
>She sits next to you and sighs.
-
>”Connie, we all mess up. While I don’t know what’s going on with you, do you think you can handle the second half?”
-
>’She only cares about herself, she doesn’t care about you.’
-
>You should answer her.
-
“I don’t think I can.”
-
>She is quiet for a moment.
-
>”Alright, we will manage, take some time off and get a hold of us when you find out what’s wrong.”
-
>You nod slowly.
-
>The tears have finally stopped.
-
>”Do you think you can make it home?”
-
“Yes.”
-
>She gets up and leaves you alone.
-
>Time sits still for you.
-
>At last, you slowly stand and go grab your things.
-
>You violin and case are sitting near the door, somepony must’ve put them there.
-
>As you trudge outside, you feel like garbage.
-
>It’s raining, of course it is.
-
>You avoid looking at other ponies and get a taxi home.
-
>Mind is blank along the way, and you say nothing.
-
>When the taxi stops, you hoof him some bits without bothering to count.
-
>The climb up the stairs feels like you’re climbing a cliff.
-
>Tears start to come loose again.
-
>Not like you care anymore.
-
>You close the door behind you and drop your things by the door.
-
>Dragging your hooves you make it to the bathroom.
-
>Your reflection is awful.
-
>Mascara stains your cheeks, eyes are blood shot, looks like you got flank hoofed to you.
-
>Without warning, you sob.
-
“Why did this happen to me? I did nothing wrong!”
-
>For a while, you lean against the sink, crying.
-
“Why?”
-
>It’s getting harder to stay awake, feeling so heavy.
-
>Slowly, you move to the bedroom and collapse on the bed.
-
>You curl up in a ball, crying yourself to sleep.
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon