GREEN
275
0
1933 10.56 KB 199
1933 10.56 KB 199
-
1.
>You’ve been laying in bed for a while now.
-
2.
>Doesn’t matter, you ruined the concert.
-
3.
>The memories from last night are still fresh in your mind.
-
4.
>’You’re a failure.’
-
5.
>Slowly, you sit up.
-
6.
>Still wearing the dress from last night, your throat feels parched.
-
7.
>You get up and drag yourself to the bathroom.
-
8.
>As you prep a bath, you get a drink of water.
-
9.
>For a brief second, you catch a glimpse of your reflection as you drink.
-
10.
>It’s disgusting.
-
11.
>’You’ve always been disgusting, it’s only now that the veil is lifted that you see it.’
-
12.
>Slowly you slump lower, feeling worse.
-
13.
“Am I really that bad?”
-
14.
>’Of course you are, other ponies don’t say anything because they pity you.’
-
15.
>Shaking your head, you try to bring yourself back under control.
-
16.
“No, this is only recent. I’m better than this.”
-
17.
>’Always thinking you’re perfect. You’re far from it Connie.’
-
18.
>Fury ignites within you briefly.
-
19.
“SHUT UP!”
-
20.
>Silence.
-
21.
>Furiously, you rub your temples in frustration.
-
22.
“Keep it together Connie, can’t let these thoughts get to you.”
-
23.
>Taking a slow breath in to calm yourself down, you take a bath.
-
24.
>Try as you might, it doesn’t feel relaxing.
-
25.
>It’s both frustrating and tiring.
-
26.
>So you cut it short, and go grab the mail.
-
27.
>Hopefully some good news.
-
28.
>Considering the events of yesterday, you’ll hold off on looking through them until you get back inside of your apartment.
-
29.
>It feels like you’re trotting through mud on your way to and from the mail box.
-
30.
>You sit down at your desk and look through them.
-
31.
>Same as yesterday, and no letter from Eri.
-
32.
>Does she hate you?
-
33.
>’Of course she does, all you do is rub your success in her face.’
-
34.
“That’s not true, I would never do that to anypony, let alone Eri.”
-
35.
>’Oh really now? You never stop talking about how great you have it, or how perfect everything is.’
-
36.
-
37.
>You try to shove aside the thoughts when it finally dawns on you.
-
38.
“Eri told me she deals with dark thoughts like these.”
-
39.
>’And you thought she was crazy.’
-
40.
“No, I didn’t understand what she was going through.”
-
41.
>’Doesn’t matter Connie, Eri doesn’t have ups and downs like this. You’re a whole different kind of freak.’
-
42.
>You’re about to argue against it again, but you realize the thoughts are not wrong.
-
43.
>Eri never has bursts of energy like this.
-
44.
>Sure she said she feels hopeless and numb, but she has never once mentioned going weeks of being energetic.
-
45.
“What’s wrong with me then? This doesn’t make sense.”
-
46.
>’You’re an abomination that’s what.’
-
47.
“No I’m not!”
-
48.
>As your eyes dart around, you’re left in silence.
-
49.
>Your breathing grows erratic, bringing you to tears.
-
50.
>Though you try to bring yourself under control, you start to sob.
-
51.
“Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?”
-
52.
>You hold your head in your hooves and rock gently.
-
53.
“Am I going insane?! Is that what this is?!”
-
54.
>The lack of another to talk to you is making you feel worse.
-
55.
“I’m alone, I’m so alone.”
-
56.
>You keep crying until the sound of rain draws you out of it.
-
57.
>Slowly, you control yourself again, if only for now.
-
58.
>Looking out the window, dark gray clouds cover the sky.
-
59.
>The pattering of rain against the window and seeing it crawl down soothes you a little.
-
60.
>You get up and brew a pot of tea.
-
61.
“Just need to calm my nerves, I’ll go see the doctor soon.”
-
62.
>You should’ve done that sooner, but it’s hard to focus.
-
63.
>Sitting down at the kitchen table, you await the water to boil.
-
64.
>A knocking at the front door causes you to jolt.
-
65.
“Who could that be?”
-
66.
>Getting up slowly, you answer the door.
-
67.
>Feather is standing there with her saddlebags and an umbrella.
-
68.
“Feather?”
-
69.
>Her eyes widen as she looks at you.
-
70.
>”Oh my Celestia, Connie are you alright?”
-
71.
-
72.
>No pony should see you like this, especially her.
-
73.
>You turn away quickly, but she already has seen you in this sorry state.
-
74.
>I should tell her the truth, she could help.
-
75.
>’Why? She will think you’re crazy. Don’t forget you thought the same thing about Eri.’
-
76.
“I...I’m just sick, everything is fine.”
-
77.
>Her face softens, and she gives an uncertain smile.
-
78.
>”Okay, is it contagious?”
-
79.
>’Look at that, she bought your lie. She only cares about herself, not you.’
-
80.
>You try to push those thoughts aside.
-
81.
“No, why are you here?”
-
82.
>Feather looks a little hurt, but continues.
-
83.
>”I came to check on you. I saw you take off during intermission. The others told me you had to go home for some reason.”
-
84.
>She cared enough to see you?
-
85.
>’Don’t forget the only reason she decided to be your friend was because of your position.’
-
86.
>Shut up.
-
87.
“Oh, well as you can see, I’m still alive.”
-
88.
>Not really a joke, but you didn’t think that through.
-
89.
>She gives a forced laugh, it causes you to cringe a little.
-
90.
>Why’d you do that?
-
91.
>”I’m happy to see that you’re alright, do you have time to chat?”
-
92.
>Considering these damned thoughts, you’ll accept this.
-
93.
>’You’ll regret this Connie, just wait and see.’
-
94.
“Sure, come in. I was just brewing some tea.”
-
95.
>You head back into the kitchen, hearing her close the door behind her.
-
96.
>Coincidentally the kettle starts to whistle.
-
97.
“So how do you like your tea?”
-
98.
>”Two sugars, no cream.”
-
99.
>You nod, and prep a couple of cups.
-
100.
>Entering the living room, you join her on the couch.
-
101.
“So what did you want to talk about?”
-
102.
>She takes a sip from her tea and sets it back.
-
103.
>”I figured you wanted to know if the concert ended well, thankfully it did.”
-
104.
>That’s a relief to hear.
-
105.
>’Doesn’t excuse the fact that you screwed up. Face it, she is lying to you.’
-
106.
>Go away.
-
107.
“That’s good to hear Feather.”
-
108.
-
109.
>”The other members were worried about you as well.”
-
110.
>They are?
-
111.
>’When was the last time one of them came to check on you Connie?’
-
112.
>They were busy is all.
-
113.
>’Don’t kid yourself, this just proves that she is lying.’
-
114.
>What if she is telling the truth?
-
115.
>’Name at least one time any of them visited you, or even went out for anything with you.’
-
116.
>I can’t.
-
117.
>’Now you understand after I had to force it out for you.’
-
118.
“I see.”
-
119.
>You sip your tea, it tastes rather bitter.
-
120.
>As the nearby clock ticks, an awkward sits between the two of you.
-
121.
>Feather tries to break it.
-
122.
>”So when do you think you’ll be back?”
-
123.
>In truth, you’re not sure.
-
124.
“Soon hopefully.”
-
125.
>She smiles, and finishes her tea.
-
126.
>”I hope so, I’d like to practice together again. Maybe we can hang out like you said?”
-
127.
>A small bit of hope rises within.
-
128.
“I’d like that.”
-
129.
>Feather stands up and grabs her stuff.
-
130.
>”Just let me know when, okay?”
-
131.
“Yes of course, I’ll see you later.”
-
132.
>”See you later as well Connie.”
-
133.
>As she leaves, you’re left alone again.
-
134.
>That small bit of hope is something you’re clinging to now.
-
135.
>Setting aside your tea, you know what you must do.
-
136.
“I’ll go see my doctor, I can’t risk leaving this alone again.”
-
137.
>’And then what?’
-
138.
“And then I’ll get whatever treatment they can offer me. I’ll be able to play again, and be normal.”
-
139.
>’Ha! That’s rich, you actually believe they will help you?’
-
140.
“Of course they will, that’s what doctors do.”
-
141.
>Anger slowly starts to build.
-
142.
>’Really now? Did that ever help Eri?’
-
143.
“It’s not the same!”
-
144.
>’Don’t you remember? She tried to get help, they wanted to make her a zombie with those pills.’
-
145.
>You try to calm yourself.
-
146.
“I’m not Eri, I’m certain they can help me.”
-
147.
>’You’re right, you’re not her. You’re a pathetic imitation.’
-
148.
>Tears of anger flow forth and you start to hyperventilate.
-
149.
-
150.
“NO I’M NOT!”
-
151.
>In your fit of rage, you flip your coffee table.
-
152.
>Your chest heaves and your heart is pounding loudly in your ears.
-
153.
>The thoughts have left you for now, but you know this is not the end.
-
154.
>Slowly bringing yourself back under control, you start to clean up the mess.
-
155.
“I can’t put this off anymore. I don’t want to imagine what will happen if this continues.”
-
156.
>Especially if what Eri goes through is any indication.
-
157.
>Finally you finish cleaning up and go make yourself presentable.
-
158.
“My doctor will know what is wrong, just need to get over there as soon as possible.”
-
159.
>You head out into the rain and get a taxi.
-
160.
>Along the way, anxiety plagues you.
-
161.
>It’s been a long time since you’ve felt it, not since you first joined the orchestra.
-
162.
>What if they don’t find what’s wrong with you?
-
163.
>I have to hope they do.
-
164.
>The taxi stops, drawing you out of your mind and you’re here at last.
-
165.
>You pay and hurry in, you don’t want to waste a second longer.
-
166.
>Unfortunately you have to wait, but seeing her now is the only chance you have.
-
167.
>Minutes seem to crawl by and finally, it’s time.
-
168.
>A nurse approaches you.
-
169.
>”Connie Amore? The doctor will see you now.”
-
170.
>Relief washes over you.
-
171.
>You nod and quickly go to the examination room.
-
172.
>Doctor Heart greets you with a warm smile.
-
173.
>”Connie, it’s good to see you. What seems to be the problem?”
-
174.
“I’m happy to see you as well, I have a lot to talk about.”
-
175.
>With high hopes, you tell her everything that has happened as of recent.
-
176.
>She listens and through it all, her face shifts from happy to neutral to concerned.
-
177.
“-And it has been getting worse these past few days.”
-
178.
>She takes a moment before talking.
-
179.
>”I can’t say what is causing this problem currently, but we can run some tests to find out.”
-
180.
“How long will this take?”
-
181.
-
182.
>”We can do the tests right away, but the results may take a day, maybe more. It all depends.”
-
183.
>The words crush you under hoof, and you feel your eyes water.
-
184.
>”However, after hearing what you have told me. I strongly advise you to get some support from a loved one or somepony you greatly trust.”
-
185.
>Should’ve done that sooner…
-
186.
“I will, thank you doctor.”
-
187.
>”You’re welcome, now we can begin those tests right now.”
-
188.
>You nod, and she runs you through many tests.
-
189.
>It feels like hours have passed.
-
190.
>By the end, you’re exhausted, but thankful that it’s over.
-
191.
>”Alright Connie, remember what I said. I will get back to you as soon as possible.”
-
192.
“Yes of course.”
-
193.
>You leave the hospital, a feeling of numbness has started to sweep over you.
-
194.
>The ride home is silent, your mind clinging to what little hope you have left.
-
195.
>Though that hope is fading, the only ponies you really trust in this city are your parents.
-
196.
>Sure you have friends, but none of them really would understand.
-
197.
>Except for Eri, but you’re not sure if you can make it to Ponyville.
-
198.
>At last you arrive and enter your apartment.
-
199.
>You skip eating and instead, try to go to sleep for tomorrow.
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon