GREEN
390
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2730 14.69 KB 252
2730 14.69 KB 252
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>”Eri do you need some help packing?”
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>You see Rest poking her head into your room.
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“Nah, I’m good. Just need to figure out what else to bring.”
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>She smiles.
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>”I don’t get how you didn’t figure this out sooner.”
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>’Because you’re a lazy piece of shit.’
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>Shoving the thought to the side for now, you focus back to deciding.
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“Just distracted I guess.”
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>”Well alright, I’ll be down stairs if you need me.”
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>You listen as she leaves and her hoof steps descend down to the living room.
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>Slowly, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.
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“Just pack what I need, that’s all...”
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>Sure, you’ve got some clothes, hoodies mostly, Connie said it can get chilly at night in Manehattan.
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>But you want to bring something else, something a little more personal.
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>Your eyes wander over to your desk, your book sitting there.
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“Who knows, might feel the need to write.”
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>’Yeah fucking right, more pathetic words for you to wallow in Eri?”
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>Ignoring the thought again, you pick up the book and another stray thought joins the previous.
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>’Something personal? How about what’s in the second drawer, that should help.’
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>Your heart beats a little harder as your eyes settle on it.
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>Slowly, you open it up, a pack of open razors sit there, waiting for you.
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“I...I shouldn’t...”
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>’Take one, you know you want to.’
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>You shudder as pick one up, its metallic glint reflects in the dim light of your room.
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“Not like I’m going to need it.”
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>Before you set it back, you get a sudden change of heart and place it in your book.
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>You take a pencil and a few bandages as well.
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“Why am I doing this?”
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>’Because you know deep down, that you will need it for when you cut yourself.’
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>Shaking your head, you finish packing and take one final look at your room.
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>Your eyes look over the room once more, it’s so plain, but it’s yours.
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“I’ll be back soon...”
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>Not like you’re leaving forever, but you’re still afraid.
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>As you reach your living room, you see Rest sitting on the couch, reading a book.
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“I-I’m ready.”
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>She quickly turns her head to you and smiles.
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>”Good, sure you got everything?”
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>’How about a life? You don’t have one of those.’
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>You give a fake smile, if only to hide the thoughts.
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“Yeah, pretty certain. Not like we are going to be there that long.”
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>Rest nods and sets the book inside her saddle bags before putting them on.
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>She gets up and brings her own suitcase to her side.
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>”Well then, shall we get going?”
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“Mhm.”
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>Your anxiety is flaring up, but you’re trying to silence it.
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>The two of you head out the front door and you close it behind you, taking your home in.
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>It’s still pretty run down, though Rest has been helping you fix it up.
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>’That’s a lie, it’s more of her doing the work and you’re sitting around you disgusting freak.’
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>Shaking your head, you see Rest looking at you with concern.
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>”Eri?”
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“I’m fine, just feeling my anxiety going up.”
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>”Are you sure you want to still do this? I know Connie asked you, but if this is too much, I’m sure she will understand.”
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>’How about it Eri? Just give up like you always do.’
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>Fuck off.
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“Y-yeah, I need this. It’s a step to getting better, like you said.”
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>Rest smiles and nods.
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>”Of course. Don’t forget though, if you feel like you’re losing it, just tell me, alright?”
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>She has said this so many damn times now, it annoys you a little, but at least she is trying to be helpful.
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>You nod and the two of you start to make your way to the station.
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>Funny how far you have made it thus far, thankfully both Connie and Rest have pulled you out of your shell.
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>Now of course, Connie asked if you would like to come to Manehattan.
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>At first you were terrified, but then after talking with Rest, you realized this was to help you.
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>Thankfully Rest agreeing to come along helped out a lot.
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>When you wrote Connie back, she understood and sent two tickets.
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>She even said she would meet you both at the station, that hasn’t quelled your fears though.
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>Manehattan is huge in comparison to Ponyville, and with vastly more ponies.
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>As you approach the train station, you see a few ponies pass by and some are even waiting around.
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>Your eyes dart to the ground, don’t want them to look at you.
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>Sure Connie and Rest have helped, but you still are having trouble.
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>The damn thoughts still torment you and occasionally, you cut to make things quiet or to feel.
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>It upsets Rest, but it’s not like you can stop.
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>Don’t want the thoughts to get ahead, never want them to be right.
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>That doesn’t stop when they are though.
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>You’re pulled from your thoughts as you feel somepony touch your wither.
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>Shooting your head up, you see Rest is the one touching you.
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>Fuck, didn’t realize you were that deep in thought.
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“I’m fine Rest, don’t worry.”
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>Like many times before, she can see right through you.
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>”You can tell me the truth, it’s okay.”
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>Small part of you wishes she couldn’t really read you so well.
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“I’m thinking about the past, and how this is a big step for me. Plus being around all these ponies doesn’t help too much, but I’m trying to push past that.”
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>She nods and pulls away her hoof, you kinda wish she didn’t, it’s not often another touches you.
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>’Desperate much?’
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>Go fuck yourself.
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>”How about we find a seat and wait till the train gets here?”
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“Sure.”
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>Rest leads you to a bench on the far side of the station, away from other ponies.
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>Slowly, you feel yourself calm down, not completely, but it’s a start.
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>Time passes and you play around with your suitcase, not much to do.
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>Looking over, you see Rest reading a medical journal, not too surprising.
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>She notices and lowers the book before smiling.
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>”Guessing you’re bored?”
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“Kinda obvious isn’t it?”
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>She closes the book and faces you.
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>”How about we talk then? Good way to pass the time.”
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>What the fuck do you have to say? It’s not like you two don’t talk enough.
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>…
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>Well, not like you tell her everything, just most.
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“How has work been?”
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>’Wow, how original, did you think of that yourself?’
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>Not now dammit.
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>Rest looks a little surprised.
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>”Not too bad I suppose, though it’s surprising that you want to actually hear it.”
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>You almost never let her talk though, so that’s not that shocking.
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>She continues.
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>”One of the highlights was tending to the foal’s wing, they can be so darn cute.”
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>She has a twinkle in her eye as she talks.
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>”Some of them were born there as well. I love hearing their stories, they never cease to cheer me up. Even when I have to deal with a terminal patient, I try to remember seeing their happy faces.”
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>At the mention of ‘terminal’ she starts to get a somber look on her face.
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>Great, now you brought up bad memories.
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>”While it does pain me greatly to see them suffer, I try to carry on for them.”
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>She shakes her head and looks back to you.
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>”I’d rather not dwell on that now, how about you?”
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“Um...I have been trying to write more.”
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>”Oh? You’re working on something new?”
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>If you call writing down your thoughts new, then sure…
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“Just playing around with ideas. Seeing what sticks.”
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>Liar.
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>Rest nods.
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>”I look forward to seeing what you write as always Eri.”
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>As she smiles, you hear a distant train whistle.
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>You feel your pulse rise, it’s been a long time since you’ve rode a train.
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>”Sounds like it’s just about time.”
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>Slowly you nod and grip your suitcase a little tighter.
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>Just remember, you can do this, you can get through this Eri…
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>The whistle grows louder and you two stand up.
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>Rest puts away her book and pulls her suitcase closer to the platform with you joining her.
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>Sure this is scary, but you’re looking forward to seeing Connie again.
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>That thought alone makes you calm down more, especially knowing Rest will be here to help you.
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>The train slowly lurches into the station and other ponies are approaching as well.
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>Some to greet friends or loved ones, others to get aboard like you two.
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>As expected, when the train stops and the doors open, many ponies exit with their belongings.
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>You can see Rest keeps looking at you from the corner of her eye.
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>’Are you really going to rely on her that much? How old are you Eri?’
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>Old enough to tell you to fuck off.
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>’You can’t rely on others forever, you have to handle things yourself eventually. NEVER forget that.’
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>As you’re about to argue with yourself, you see Rest moving forward, so you follow closely.
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>You enter the car with her and look around.
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>Some ponies are already seated and even talking.
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>Others like you two, are finding their seats and places to put their luggage.
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>However, being this close to so many is making you really nervous.
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>Why now? Why do I have to be so damn broken?
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>You bite your lip and try to fight against the nerves.
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>Thankfully Rest finds a seat for you two, and you plant yourself next to the window.
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>You let out a slow breath of relief and look around again.
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>Rest is getting your tickets checked with the conductor and sits down.
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>Glad she didn’t see you losing it.
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>”You okay?”
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>And you almost didn’t notice her looking concerned either, answer her.
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“Yeah, still a little nervous, but I’ll be alright.”
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>She nods and pulls out the book again to read.
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>Might as well find something to do as well other than bothering her.
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>You open your bag and pull out your own book.
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>Same black cover, same heart, same you.
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>Just as you open it, a familiar object falls out.
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>Shit! You forgot your damn razor was in there.
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>You scramble to pick it up before Rest sees it.
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>Fortunately she doesn’t see it, but does notice you moving about.
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>”Did you drop something?”
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>Hiding it under one of your hooves, you give her a smile.
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“Thought I did, it’s alright though, just some lint.”
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>She smiles back and goes back to reading.
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>Too fucking close, as you grip the steel, it bites into your hoof a little.
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>Not enough to cut, but it’s uncomfortable.
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>Idiot, why’d you bring this?
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>’You know why Eri.’
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>Not again.
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>’Sooner or later, you will fuck up, like you always do. When that happens, you’ll be thankful you have your habit to keep you sane.’
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>As if.
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>’You will see.’
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>Shaking your head, you slip the razor back into the book and put it away.
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>The train starts to move, and you decide to watch the scenery instead.
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>Should’ve brought something to read, but that doesn’t matter now.
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“It’s so pretty.”
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>”What? Oh, the scenery? Yeah I guess it is.”
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>You don’t bother to see if she is actually watching, instead you stay focused on the outside.
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>However, you feel it start to lull you to sleep.
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>Can’t sleep here though.
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>Grabbing your suitcase, you get up and see Rest look at you with a raised eyebrow.
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>”Something wrong?”
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“Feeling tired, gonna fall asleep if I sit here any longer.”
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>”Oh alright, this is going to be a long ride after all. We won’t reach Manehattan till tomorrow, want me to wake you for anything?”
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>You shake your head and start to move past her.
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>”Alright, get some sleep Eri, we have a long day ahead of us.”
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“Yeah, I’ll try.”
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>As you pass by the other seats, you ignore the other ponies, just focus on the destination.
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>It’s not so easy, there are several cars to pass through until you reach the sleeper car.
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>Thankfully there is no pony in there at the moment.
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>You find a bed and bring your suitcase close, not like somepony would steal it, but don’t want to take that risk.
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>It doesn’t take long for sleep to take you.
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>You’re awoken after what feels like mere seconds.
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“Wha-huh?”
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>Groggily you open your eyes to see Rest.
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>”Sorry to wake you, but we are about to reach Manehattan.”
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“Wait, what? How long did I sleep?”
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>She smiles.
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>”Pretty much the whole day.”
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>Not surprising, you’d rather sleep forever rather than ever get up again.
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>Rubbing your eyes, you sit up and stretch, letting out a yawn.
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>”I’m going to head back to my seat, see you there.”
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>As she trots out, you grab your suitcase and bring it with you.
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>You feel so groggy, don’t you get enough fucking sleep?
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>’Why would you? You do nothing all day, except for cry or cut yourself.’
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>Letting out a small groan, you try to ignore the thoughts on your way back to your seat.
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>You join Rest and see the city out the window.
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“Wow...”
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>”Yeah it’s something else, nothing like Ponyville.”
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>It’s terrifying, the buildings are so much taller and more cramped.
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>Some of the stars are out and the sun is no where to be seen.
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>The train slows down as it reaches the station and you feel your anxiety rise.
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>This is it, you’re in another city, even if it’s just visiting, you’re actually here.
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>You and Rest wait while the other passengers leave, allowing you both to be the last to depart.
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>Just as you step outside of the car, you hear an all too familiar voice.
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>>”Eri!”
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>Connie quickly rushes to give you a big hug.
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>It overwhelms you, and you can’t say a word.
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>She pulls back with a large smile.
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>>”I’m so happy to see you, glad to see you made it safely.”
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“Y-yeah, you too.”
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>”Ahem.”
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>You both look over to Rest.
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>>”I didn’t forget about you Rest, it’s just that it’s been awhile since I’ve seen Eri. The fact that she actually made it out here makes me so happy.”
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>”Fair enough, you said something about us staying with you?”
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>Connie nods and starts to lead you two away from the station.
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>>”Of course, I wouldn’t ask my friends to stay at hotel when they could stay with me for free.”
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>She really is too generous, but then again, Connie has always been a source of happiness.
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>Wish you could be that happy, even for a fraction of the time.
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>Connie hails a taxi for the three of you, her and Rest start to talk.
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>As for you, you’re pretty tired still.
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>You zone out along the way.
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>”We’re here.”
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>Snapping out of it, your rub your eyes.
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>The three of you head up to the apartment, but as you close the door behind you, you let out a yawn.
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“Alright, I think I’m going to go to bed, I’m really tired still.”
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>>”Oh okay, I understand Eri. Can’t imagine this has been easy on you.
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>Yeah, she can say that again.
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>>”I’ll show you the guest room and let you settle in.”
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>You nod and follow her to the hallway.
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>This place is pretty nice, shame you’re so damn tired.
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>She opens one of the doors and heads back towards the living room.
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>>”Goodnight Eri, talk to you in the morning.”
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>Letting out another yawn, you barely mumble out a response.
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“Yeah...You too Connie.”
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>As you reach the bed, you set your suitcase beside it and climb under the covers.
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>The comfortable bed quickly pulls you into a peaceful slumber.
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon
by NHanon