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/emo/ Miss Eri in Manehattan, chp 1

By NHanon
Created: 23rd October 2020 06:49:18 PM

  1. >”Eri do you need some help packing?”
  2. >You see Rest poking her head into your room.
  3. “Nah, I’m good. Just need to figure out what else to bring.”
  4. >She smiles.
  5. >”I don’t get how you didn’t figure this out sooner.”
  6. >’Because you’re a lazy piece of shit.’
  7. >Shoving the thought to the side for now, you focus back to deciding.
  8. “Just distracted I guess.”
  9. >”Well alright, I’ll be down stairs if you need me.”
  10. >You listen as she leaves and her hoof steps descend down to the living room.
  11. >Slowly, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in.
  12. “Just pack what I need, that’s all...”
  13. >Sure, you’ve got some clothes, hoodies mostly, Connie said it can get chilly at night in Manehattan.
  14. >But you want to bring something else, something a little more personal.
  15. >Your eyes wander over to your desk, your book sitting there.
  16. “Who knows, might feel the need to write.”
  17. >’Yeah fucking right, more pathetic words for you to wallow in Eri?”
  18. >Ignoring the thought again, you pick up the book and another stray thought joins the previous.
  19. >’Something personal? How about what’s in the second drawer, that should help.’
  20. >Your heart beats a little harder as your eyes settle on it.
  21. >Slowly, you open it up, a pack of open razors sit there, waiting for you.
  22. “I...I shouldn’t...”
  23. >’Take one, you know you want to.’
  24. >You shudder as pick one up, its metallic glint reflects in the dim light of your room.
  25. “Not like I’m going to need it.”
  26. >Before you set it back, you get a sudden change of heart and place it in your book.
  27. >You take a pencil and a few bandages as well.
  28. “Why am I doing this?”
  29. >’Because you know deep down, that you will need it for when you cut yourself.’
  30. >Shaking your head, you finish packing and take one final look at your room.
  31. >Your eyes look over the room once more, it’s so plain, but it’s yours.
  32. “I’ll be back soon...”
  33. >Not like you’re leaving forever, but you’re still afraid.
  34.  
  35. >As you reach your living room, you see Rest sitting on the couch, reading a book.
  36. “I-I’m ready.”
  37. >She quickly turns her head to you and smiles.
  38. >”Good, sure you got everything?”
  39. >’How about a life? You don’t have one of those.’
  40. >You give a fake smile, if only to hide the thoughts.
  41. “Yeah, pretty certain. Not like we are going to be there that long.”
  42. >Rest nods and sets the book inside her saddle bags before putting them on.
  43. >She gets up and brings her own suitcase to her side.
  44. >”Well then, shall we get going?”
  45. “Mhm.”
  46. >Your anxiety is flaring up, but you’re trying to silence it.
  47. >The two of you head out the front door and you close it behind you, taking your home in.
  48. >It’s still pretty run down, though Rest has been helping you fix it up.
  49. >’That’s a lie, it’s more of her doing the work and you’re sitting around you disgusting freak.’
  50. >Shaking your head, you see Rest looking at you with concern.
  51. >”Eri?”
  52. “I’m fine, just feeling my anxiety going up.”
  53. >”Are you sure you want to still do this? I know Connie asked you, but if this is too much, I’m sure she will understand.”
  54. >’How about it Eri? Just give up like you always do.’
  55. >Fuck off.
  56. “Y-yeah, I need this. It’s a step to getting better, like you said.”
  57. >Rest smiles and nods.
  58. >”Of course. Don’t forget though, if you feel like you’re losing it, just tell me, alright?”
  59. >She has said this so many damn times now, it annoys you a little, but at least she is trying to be helpful.
  60. >You nod and the two of you start to make your way to the station.
  61. >Funny how far you have made it thus far, thankfully both Connie and Rest have pulled you out of your shell.
  62. >Now of course, Connie asked if you would like to come to Manehattan.
  63. >At first you were terrified, but then after talking with Rest, you realized this was to help you.
  64. >Thankfully Rest agreeing to come along helped out a lot.
  65.  
  66. >When you wrote Connie back, she understood and sent two tickets.
  67. >She even said she would meet you both at the station, that hasn’t quelled your fears though.
  68. >Manehattan is huge in comparison to Ponyville, and with vastly more ponies.
  69. >As you approach the train station, you see a few ponies pass by and some are even waiting around.
  70. >Your eyes dart to the ground, don’t want them to look at you.
  71. >Sure Connie and Rest have helped, but you still are having trouble.
  72. >The damn thoughts still torment you and occasionally, you cut to make things quiet or to feel.
  73. >It upsets Rest, but it’s not like you can stop.
  74. >Don’t want the thoughts to get ahead, never want them to be right.
  75. >That doesn’t stop when they are though.
  76. >You’re pulled from your thoughts as you feel somepony touch your wither.
  77. >Shooting your head up, you see Rest is the one touching you.
  78. >Fuck, didn’t realize you were that deep in thought.
  79. “I’m fine Rest, don’t worry.”
  80. >Like many times before, she can see right through you.
  81. >”You can tell me the truth, it’s okay.”
  82. >Small part of you wishes she couldn’t really read you so well.
  83. “I’m thinking about the past, and how this is a big step for me. Plus being around all these ponies doesn’t help too much, but I’m trying to push past that.”
  84. >She nods and pulls away her hoof, you kinda wish she didn’t, it’s not often another touches you.
  85. >’Desperate much?’
  86. >Go fuck yourself.
  87. >”How about we find a seat and wait till the train gets here?”
  88. “Sure.”
  89. >Rest leads you to a bench on the far side of the station, away from other ponies.
  90. >Slowly, you feel yourself calm down, not completely, but it’s a start.
  91. >Time passes and you play around with your suitcase, not much to do.
  92. >Looking over, you see Rest reading a medical journal, not too surprising.
  93. >She notices and lowers the book before smiling.
  94. >”Guessing you’re bored?”
  95. “Kinda obvious isn’t it?”
  96.  
  97. >She closes the book and faces you.
  98. >”How about we talk then? Good way to pass the time.”
  99. >What the fuck do you have to say? It’s not like you two don’t talk enough.
  100. >…
  101. >Well, not like you tell her everything, just most.
  102. “How has work been?”
  103. >’Wow, how original, did you think of that yourself?’
  104. >Not now dammit.
  105. >Rest looks a little surprised.
  106. >”Not too bad I suppose, though it’s surprising that you want to actually hear it.”
  107. >You almost never let her talk though, so that’s not that shocking.
  108. >She continues.
  109. >”One of the highlights was tending to the foal’s wing, they can be so darn cute.”
  110. >She has a twinkle in her eye as she talks.
  111. >”Some of them were born there as well. I love hearing their stories, they never cease to cheer me up. Even when I have to deal with a terminal patient, I try to remember seeing their happy faces.”
  112. >At the mention of ‘terminal’ she starts to get a somber look on her face.
  113. >Great, now you brought up bad memories.
  114. >”While it does pain me greatly to see them suffer, I try to carry on for them.”
  115. >She shakes her head and looks back to you.
  116. >”I’d rather not dwell on that now, how about you?”
  117. “Um...I have been trying to write more.”
  118. >”Oh? You’re working on something new?”
  119. >If you call writing down your thoughts new, then sure…
  120. “Just playing around with ideas. Seeing what sticks.”
  121. >Liar.
  122. >Rest nods.
  123. >”I look forward to seeing what you write as always Eri.”
  124. >As she smiles, you hear a distant train whistle.
  125. >You feel your pulse rise, it’s been a long time since you’ve rode a train.
  126. >”Sounds like it’s just about time.”
  127. >Slowly you nod and grip your suitcase a little tighter.
  128. >Just remember, you can do this, you can get through this Eri…
  129. >The whistle grows louder and you two stand up.
  130. >Rest puts away her book and pulls her suitcase closer to the platform with you joining her.
  131.  
  132. >Sure this is scary, but you’re looking forward to seeing Connie again.
  133. >That thought alone makes you calm down more, especially knowing Rest will be here to help you.
  134. >The train slowly lurches into the station and other ponies are approaching as well.
  135. >Some to greet friends or loved ones, others to get aboard like you two.
  136. >As expected, when the train stops and the doors open, many ponies exit with their belongings.
  137. >You can see Rest keeps looking at you from the corner of her eye.
  138. >’Are you really going to rely on her that much? How old are you Eri?’
  139. >Old enough to tell you to fuck off.
  140. >’You can’t rely on others forever, you have to handle things yourself eventually. NEVER forget that.’
  141. >As you’re about to argue with yourself, you see Rest moving forward, so you follow closely.
  142. >You enter the car with her and look around.
  143. >Some ponies are already seated and even talking.
  144. >Others like you two, are finding their seats and places to put their luggage.
  145. >However, being this close to so many is making you really nervous.
  146. >Why now? Why do I have to be so damn broken?
  147. >You bite your lip and try to fight against the nerves.
  148. >Thankfully Rest finds a seat for you two, and you plant yourself next to the window.
  149. >You let out a slow breath of relief and look around again.
  150. >Rest is getting your tickets checked with the conductor and sits down.
  151. >Glad she didn’t see you losing it.
  152. >”You okay?”
  153. >And you almost didn’t notice her looking concerned either, answer her.
  154. “Yeah, still a little nervous, but I’ll be alright.”
  155. >She nods and pulls out the book again to read.
  156. >Might as well find something to do as well other than bothering her.
  157. >You open your bag and pull out your own book.
  158. >Same black cover, same heart, same you.
  159. >Just as you open it, a familiar object falls out.
  160. >Shit! You forgot your damn razor was in there.
  161.  
  162. >You scramble to pick it up before Rest sees it.
  163. >Fortunately she doesn’t see it, but does notice you moving about.
  164. >”Did you drop something?”
  165. >Hiding it under one of your hooves, you give her a smile.
  166. “Thought I did, it’s alright though, just some lint.”
  167. >She smiles back and goes back to reading.
  168. >Too fucking close, as you grip the steel, it bites into your hoof a little.
  169. >Not enough to cut, but it’s uncomfortable.
  170. >Idiot, why’d you bring this?
  171. >’You know why Eri.’
  172. >Not again.
  173. >’Sooner or later, you will fuck up, like you always do. When that happens, you’ll be thankful you have your habit to keep you sane.’
  174. >As if.
  175. >’You will see.’
  176. >Shaking your head, you slip the razor back into the book and put it away.
  177. >The train starts to move, and you decide to watch the scenery instead.
  178. >Should’ve brought something to read, but that doesn’t matter now.
  179. “It’s so pretty.”
  180. >”What? Oh, the scenery? Yeah I guess it is.”
  181. >You don’t bother to see if she is actually watching, instead you stay focused on the outside.
  182. >However, you feel it start to lull you to sleep.
  183. >Can’t sleep here though.
  184. >Grabbing your suitcase, you get up and see Rest look at you with a raised eyebrow.
  185. >”Something wrong?”
  186. “Feeling tired, gonna fall asleep if I sit here any longer.”
  187. >”Oh alright, this is going to be a long ride after all. We won’t reach Manehattan till tomorrow, want me to wake you for anything?”
  188. >You shake your head and start to move past her.
  189. >”Alright, get some sleep Eri, we have a long day ahead of us.”
  190. “Yeah, I’ll try.”
  191. >As you pass by the other seats, you ignore the other ponies, just focus on the destination.
  192. >It’s not so easy, there are several cars to pass through until you reach the sleeper car.
  193. >Thankfully there is no pony in there at the moment.
  194.  
  195. >You find a bed and bring your suitcase close, not like somepony would steal it, but don’t want to take that risk.
  196. >It doesn’t take long for sleep to take you.
  197. >You’re awoken after what feels like mere seconds.
  198. “Wha-huh?”
  199. >Groggily you open your eyes to see Rest.
  200. >”Sorry to wake you, but we are about to reach Manehattan.”
  201. “Wait, what? How long did I sleep?”
  202. >She smiles.
  203. >”Pretty much the whole day.”
  204. >Not surprising, you’d rather sleep forever rather than ever get up again.
  205. >Rubbing your eyes, you sit up and stretch, letting out a yawn.
  206. >”I’m going to head back to my seat, see you there.”
  207. >As she trots out, you grab your suitcase and bring it with you.
  208. >You feel so groggy, don’t you get enough fucking sleep?
  209. >’Why would you? You do nothing all day, except for cry or cut yourself.’
  210. >Letting out a small groan, you try to ignore the thoughts on your way back to your seat.
  211. >You join Rest and see the city out the window.
  212. “Wow...”
  213. >”Yeah it’s something else, nothing like Ponyville.”
  214. >It’s terrifying, the buildings are so much taller and more cramped.
  215. >Some of the stars are out and the sun is no where to be seen.
  216. >The train slows down as it reaches the station and you feel your anxiety rise.
  217. >This is it, you’re in another city, even if it’s just visiting, you’re actually here.
  218. >You and Rest wait while the other passengers leave, allowing you both to be the last to depart.
  219. >Just as you step outside of the car, you hear an all too familiar voice.
  220. >>”Eri!”
  221. >Connie quickly rushes to give you a big hug.
  222. >It overwhelms you, and you can’t say a word.
  223. >She pulls back with a large smile.
  224. >>”I’m so happy to see you, glad to see you made it safely.”
  225. “Y-yeah, you too.”
  226. >”Ahem.”
  227. >You both look over to Rest.
  228. >>”I didn’t forget about you Rest, it’s just that it’s been awhile since I’ve seen Eri. The fact that she actually made it out here makes me so happy.”
  229.  
  230. >”Fair enough, you said something about us staying with you?”
  231. >Connie nods and starts to lead you two away from the station.
  232. >>”Of course, I wouldn’t ask my friends to stay at hotel when they could stay with me for free.”
  233. >She really is too generous, but then again, Connie has always been a source of happiness.
  234. >Wish you could be that happy, even for a fraction of the time.
  235. >Connie hails a taxi for the three of you, her and Rest start to talk.
  236. >As for you, you’re pretty tired still.
  237. >You zone out along the way.
  238. >”We’re here.”
  239. >Snapping out of it, your rub your eyes.
  240. >The three of you head up to the apartment, but as you close the door behind you, you let out a yawn.
  241. “Alright, I think I’m going to go to bed, I’m really tired still.”
  242. >>”Oh okay, I understand Eri. Can’t imagine this has been easy on you.
  243. >Yeah, she can say that again.
  244. >>”I’ll show you the guest room and let you settle in.”
  245. >You nod and follow her to the hallway.
  246. >This place is pretty nice, shame you’re so damn tired.
  247. >She opens one of the doors and heads back towards the living room.
  248. >>”Goodnight Eri, talk to you in the morning.”
  249. >Letting out another yawn, you barely mumble out a response.
  250. “Yeah...You too Connie.”
  251. >As you reach the bed, you set your suitcase beside it and climb under the covers.
  252. >The comfortable bed quickly pulls you into a peaceful slumber.
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