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> ...
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"Sunset, this is the little girls section. I feel distinctly uncomfortable."
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> "Don't worry, as long as I'm here no one will think you are a pedophile. Now what do you think would look the cutest on Twilight's dog?"
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"Her...dog?"
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> "Yeah, that little lesbian is trying to seduce Rarity. She asked me for help, and I couldn't say no to such a cute little puppy."
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"You do realize that Spike...is a male dog?"
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> "You sure? Her voice is really high and girly."
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"Yeah, I got an eyeful one time."
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> "Ew. Well, if we're not getting...him, gosh that's so weird, ah, cute underwear, is there anything you want here?"
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"What?"
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> She starts walking towards the adult underwear area of the mall
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> You follow closely behind
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> "Like, want me to get you a sexy pair of panties and a bra, so you can ironically cross dress or maybe just jack off into them?"
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> Sunset is always like this
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> Trying to be a bro
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> Can't she tell you'd rather have a sis?
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> You can never paint your nails right
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"N-no, I'm good."
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> "Already got some then? Niiiiice. You gotta let me see them sometime, I wanna know what gets your jimmies rustled."
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> Some people should not be allowed around memes
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"Anyways, let's just get out of here. You hungry? I'm hungry."
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> Hamburger for you, hotdog for her
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> She gives you a wink
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> "Guess who I am!"
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> She fellates the hotdog, bun and all
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> "I just can't stop sucking all of these cocks!"
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> Boner, now is not the time
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> You know what she's getting at
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> It was a dark day when she saw you browsing 4chan on your phone
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> Still, you feel obligated to get it wrong
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"Rarity?"
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> "Nope! Try again!"
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> She rubs the hotdog against her cheek
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> "Cocks are all I think about!"
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> You glance around, but only the Japanese guy at the sushi counter seems to have noticed
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"Pernka Po?"
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> She giggles
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> "I love how you get her name wrong, every time! So funny! No, I'm OP!"
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> You feel a dread building in your soul
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> "Because OP is a faggot!"
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> Yup, there it is
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> Nothing is sacred
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> You didn't think anything could be sacred on 4chan, but then Sunset has a special way about her
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> It'd make you angry, but your boner overrule you every time
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"What an impression."
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> "Yup!"
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> She takes a bite and almost immediately moans
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> Damn
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> You try to distract yourself with your hamburger
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> It's okay, for being mall food
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> Your eyes are glued to her face
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> Be Sunset Shimmer
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> You had thought that all your sadistic tendencies, your love of power and control would be wiped away in the friendship beam
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> You have learned that is not the case
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> You love the way Anon squirms when you give him a boner
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> The emotional pain when you ham-fistedly force memes into everyday conversation
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> Sometimes you call him right before you get in a shower
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> "Anon, I'm totally going to pee in the shower."
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> "Anon, what sound does the beta rooster make? Cuck."
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> If you're really lucky, you can hear his frustrated scream right before he hangs up
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> It wasn't a sex thing before, when you were queen of the school
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> Now though, you just imagine Anon squirming, or suffering through another bad joke
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> Shower time is always fun
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> Now what were you doing?
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> Oh yeah
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> You hold out the hotdog towards Anon
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"Want a bite? It's reeeaaaallly good."
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> Be Anon
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> She made an offer you can't refuse
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> You lean forward and take a bite, your tongue caressing the teethmarks she left behind
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> Are you being weird about this?
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> You are being weird about this
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> Still, gotta act casual
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> You chew, nodding slightly
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> "Looks like someone else likes to fill their mouths with wieners."
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> You swallow
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"Says the girl who ordered the hotdog."
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> She shrugs
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> "I'm a girl, I'm allowed to like cocks."
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"Whatever."
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> You back to eating, Sunset following suit
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> About halfway through, you realize something
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> You rotate the hamburger, switching to the uneaten side
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> You lower your head and start licking the mustard from between the meat and the bun
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> She falters mid-bite
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> "What are you doing?"
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"Eating out."
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> Two can play at the pun game
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> She glances around nervously
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> "Come on, stop that! It's weird."
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"You're blushing. Jealous of the hamburger?"
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> This is surprisingly fun
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> "Seriously, stop, the Japanese guy is watching."
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> You look up, and meet his eyes
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> You nod at him
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> He nods back
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"Naw, we're cool. Now if you excuse me, my tongue is scheduled for some deep sea diving."
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> You pleasure that hamburger with long, deep tongue strokes
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> Finally she just snatches it out of your hands
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> "You can have my hotdog, I am confiscating your lunch."
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> She takes a bite out of your burger
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"You do realize my tongue has been all up inside there, right?"
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> Her blush deepens
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"Deep inside, covering the meat with my saliva."
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> "Shut up."
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> You take a bite out of her hotdog
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"Do you have a ladyboner thinking about my tongue now?"
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> Haha, there are no brakes on the teasing train!
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> She won't meet your eyes
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> Sunset shifts a little in her seat
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> Wait
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"You really do have a ladyboner?"
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> Her face turns beet red
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> "Sh-shut up!"
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> You lean back in your chair, mind blown
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> It all makes sense now
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"You're actually shy? That's it, isn't it? You wanted to model lingerie, but you lost the nerve and made up some lie about thinking Spike was a girl!"
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> She puts the hamburger down and glares at you
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> "That's not it at all! I was just..."
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> She pauses
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"It's alright, Sunset, really. I like you. If you want to be my girlfriend, I'm totally on board."
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> She buries her face in her hands
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> She's pretty cute when she's embarrassed
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> You are Sunset Shimmer and everything has gone wrong
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> You are the one who is supposed to be making all the innuendo!
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> He's not supposed to be erotically removing condiments from sandwiches
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> Oh god, he went down on a hamburger
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> And now you have some of that hamburger in your stomach
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> You might be grossed out if you weren't so turned on
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> There has to be a way to salvage this
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> What's the bro thing to do?
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"N-no homo."
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> He laughs
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> "Unless you are secretly a man, you just implied yes hetero."
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> Abort! Abort!
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"I just remembered, I have to go do something, it's been nice eating you!"
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> Wait
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"Eating with you! No, ugh, goodbye!"
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> You grab your purse and powerwalk away
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> Your name is Anon, and today was a good day
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> Perhaps you'll call her tomorrow morning, right before you take a shower
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> Your name is Sunset Shimmer, and everything is under control
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> After sleeping on it, you realize that nothing has really changed
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> Anon is Anon, and a boy, so you have the advantage
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> You stand naked in your bathroom, phone in your hand
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> Is your heart supposed to be beating so fast?
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> Was this how it always was, and you just didn't notice?
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> You push the thought from your mind
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> With a decisive twitch, you hit Anon's number
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> "Hello?"
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> You smile involuntarily at the sound of his voice
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> You can do this
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"Hi Anon! I just wanted you to know how much I value our friendship."
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> Yes, this is how it goes
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> "That's nice of you. I value our relationship too."
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> Yes, friend zone established
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"So, Anon. My parents aren't home, "
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> Which isn't a lie, they just happen to be ponies in another dimension
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> You can hear his breath quicken at the news
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> You get a little shiver of pleasure at the thought
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"And I need a big, strong man to mow the lawn."
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> Perfect, the old bait-and-switch
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> "You know, I'm onto you now."
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> Your blood runs cold, yet oddly you find your arousal growing
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> "You just want my sweaty, hot bod all to yourself. I'll be right over."
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"No! I mean, "
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> What was the point of this call anyhow?
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> He laughs and hangs up
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> Crap
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"I just wanted your tortured psyche."
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> You set the phone by the sink, no longer feeling up for a quick shower
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> Everything is just muddled inside
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> Still, you should do something, you are naked
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> You turn on the bath faucet, waiting for the hot water to get going
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> You eye the column of water thundering into your tub
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> That just might be what you need to clear your head
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> You lower yourself into the shallow water
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> It takes a little sliding, but you rest your legs up on the wall on either side of the faucet
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> Water cascades inside you, filling you up with firm but gentle pressure
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> You lay back, losing yourself in the sensation
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> Unbidden, images of Anon come to your mind
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> Skin glistening with sweat, muscles rippling
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> H-hard to believe he thinks you're shy
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> You shove the images away
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> The insistent pounding of the water makes it hard to concentrate
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> The thought comes, ' He'd be gentle. '
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> You can just imagine him kissing your cheek, your nose
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> Your hands on his chest
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> He pecks your lips, but your tongue surges into his mouth
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> He pulls back in surprise and you hold your breath
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> He grins
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> The next kiss has you tingling all over, toes curling in-
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> Wait
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> Are you really fantasizing about Anon?
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> You come to yourself with your hands positioned rather intimately, your hips bucking against the waterfall
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> You are so close
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> Fuck it
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> Anon buries himself deep within you, whispering your name in worship
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> You hook your ankles behind his back, your every curve pressed up against his firm masculinity
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> Your heart pounds, his fevered breath ghosting across your ear
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> "Sunset."
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> It's a distant sound, muffled by your building climax and the limits of your imagination
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> "Sunset!"
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> Your body is wracked with waves of pleasure, a tributary flow to the torrent in your womanhood
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> "Sunset!"
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> Wait, that's not your imagination
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> You hear the front door open
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> "Sunset, are you alright?"
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"Uh, yes, I'm fine!"
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> Crap crap crap
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> You turn off the faucet and stagger out of the tub
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> "Oh, okay. Sorry for breaking in."
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"It's-it's fine."
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> You grab a towel and gain a semblance of modesty
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> You step out of the bathroom, and
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> "Oh."
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> You turn slowly to find Anon, standing at the end of the hall, eyes wide
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> You point a stern finger at him, your other hand tightly pressing the towel above your bust
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"Don't even think about kissing me!"
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> He holds up his hands defensively
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> "Gonna be honest here. I'm not doing a lot of thinking right now, and it certainly isn't about kissing. Well, it wasn't."
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> Your eyes focus on his pants
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> Yep, that's a boner
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> You wonder how bi-
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"Stop it! Get out of my head!"
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> "Okay?"
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> You storm off to your bedroom to get some clothes and maybe some dignity
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> Well Anon, this is not how you expected your yard work/booty call to go
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> So while Sunset presumably puts on clothes, you go sit on the couch
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> When she does come out, she's in jeans, maybe a shirt, but definitely a fluffy, white winter coat
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> Odd
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> First things first though, establishing why she asked you over
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"So, do you really need me to mow the lawn, or did you want me to mow your lawn, or what?"
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> She sits on the other end of the couch and puts her face in her hands
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> "I don't know, okay?"
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> Hmmm, this is a little serious
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"Alright, how about what -were- you hoping for, back when you called me?"
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> Sunset takes a deep breath and lowers her hands
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> "Honestly? I wanted you to have a case of the blueballs again."
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> Huh
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"And where does your bathing figure into this? And why is only the back of your head wet?"
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> She gingerly touches her hair, sensing the difference
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> She looks you square in the eyes, daring you to doubt her next answer
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> "It's a girl thing."
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> Unfortunately for her, she's been your "bro" for a while, so you know a fair bit about girl things
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"Cramps, huh?"
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> "No! I mean, yeah, cramps. It started yesterday, that's why I had to go so suddenly."
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"Isn't your period usually about two weeks from now?"
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> Her face colors
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> "How do you know about that?"
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> You roll your eyes
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"It's when you demand 'brocolates' and have me make you cinnabro tea. Now what's really going on?"
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> She just sits there, fidgeting with the coat sleeves
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> You wait a bit, watching her face
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"Maybe wearing a winter coat in the middle of the summer isn't a great idea."
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> Sunset glares at you
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> "I'm fine!"
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> You raise your eyebrows at that
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> You do have a theory, but it's a bit of a long shot
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"Is it that you thought you were a lesbian, but then you realized you are also attracted to me?"
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> She stares at you blankly
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> You stare at him blankly
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> That is the most absurd, ridiculous,
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> Halfway reasonable? Surprisingly useful explanation
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> Sunset Shimmer smiles, a beautiful smile
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> "That's it exactly."
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> Nailed it
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"I get it. You don't want to go too fast with your suddenly hetero feelings. How about we spend today like we normally do, with Super Smash Brothers catfights?"
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> She grins at that
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> "Promise you'll be gentle?"
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"Get real. I'm going to nail you so hard with Samus."
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> "You can try, but you'll be lucky if I let you get a shot off."
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> It's the sixth match, and you are killing Anon with the Wii Fit Trainer
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> It's not going to be like it was before, he isn't oblivious now
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> Still, he thinks you want to take it slow, and there is so much you can do with that
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> It's a useful lie, and you need to try it out, to see if you can still manipulate him
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> Samus claps from her lowly position in the final rankings
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"Hey, you will be gentle, right?"
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> He gives you a smile and nudges your shoulder with his
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> "I'll be what you want me to be."
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> You unzip your winter coat, catching the way his eyes drift to your bosom
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"Good."
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> You still have him wrapped around your finger, just as his girlfriend rather than his bro
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> You can live with that.
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