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1.
> Be Eye Sis, betrayed Pharaoh of ancient times
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> The day has finally arrived for your final battle against the reincarnation of your traitorous high priestess
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> Set of Five sneers at your host, slapping her deck into the duel disk
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> "Go first, Anonymous, it will be your last!"
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> Anon slips his deck into the duel disk, and you take possession of his body
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> You stand a little taller, and your shared chest tuft increases dramatically in volume
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"You have set yourself up for defeat, Set of Five!"
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> You draw your hand and-
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> Hold on, this isn't the Dark Magician deck
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> Super-heavy Samurai?
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> Tuner?
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> Curse Anon and his whimsy
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> You can feel his amusement in the back of your mind
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> [Need some help, Eye Sis?]
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> You frown
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[No, I'm sure I can figure out what to do...]
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> Let's see, special summon blah blah, equip...
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> Why would you even want something that only gives 1200 defense?
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> Set of Five glares at you
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> "Admit it! Nothing you have can defeat my deck!"
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> You scowl
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[Alright, tell me what to do.]
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>[How about I take over and-]
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> You mentally sigh
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[Monster duels are too dangerous for stallions. Besides, I can't mind crush her if you're in control.]
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> [Hmm. Good point. Alright, so all you do this turn is set Superheavy Samurai Soulpiercer face down.]
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> ...
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[It has zero defense, it will die if anything battles it.]
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> [That's the point. Just do it.]
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[Fine.]
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"I set my monster face down and pass the turn."
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> Set of Five cackles
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> "That's all? Prepare yourself for unstoppable power!"
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> She draws a card
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> "I summon Lady of D!"
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> [She wants the D so bad!]
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[Shut up]
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> "And use the Flute of Summoning Dragon to special summon my Blue Eyes White Dragon!"
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> [If you played my flute, it would sure special summon a white dragon of something]
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[Shut Up]
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> "Blue Eyes! Destroy his monster!"
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> You scowl, placing your monster in the graveyard
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[Now what?]
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> [It's ability activates. Search your deck for Superheavy Samurai Big Waraji.]
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"Not so fast! My monster's ability activates and I take..."
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> [Superheavy Samurai Big Waraji.]
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"Superheavy Samurai Big Waraji from my deck and add it to my hand!"
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> Set of Five sneers
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> "A mere 1800 defense is nothing before my Blue Eyes! Lady of D, attack his life points directly!"
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> You stagger back, shaken by the loss but not discouraged
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> [Hey, can we do the heart of the cards thing now?]
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> You frown
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[That requires a depth of trust in your cards that-]
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> [Come on, I totally trust my extra-thicc fighty lads enough for magic cheating!]
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[It's not cheating! It's friendship!]
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> Set of Five smirks
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> "Your turn, Anonymous. Take your time, there isn't much left for you."
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> You growl
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> Her arrogance is no less grating than it was a millennia ago
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> Let's just get this over with
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"I know my monsters have my back! Come to me, extra thick samurai!"
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> [Superheavy Samurai]
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[SHUT UP! THAT WAS YOUR FAULT!]
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> You draw a card, ignoring Anon's snickering in the background
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> It's... another 1200 defense thingy
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> Did the heart of the cards fail you? Or maybe you didn't trust in the supethick samurai enough?
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> [Nah, we got this. Special summon Waluigi and the trumpeter. We're about to lay down some sick doots.]
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> This is all too confusing.
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> Back in your day, you had normal monsters, a few spells, and a few traps
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> A field spell, if you were lucky
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> Now...
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"I special summon Superthick Samurai Waluigi and Trumpter!"
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> You place the two monsters on the field
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[Now what?]
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> [Synchro summon Superheavy Samurai Stealth Ninja from our extra deck in defense mode.]
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>...
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[Extra deck?]
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> [Yeah, that little pile of cards on the end there.]
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> ...
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> Now, a colt has to hold you by the hoof to handle some superthick lads
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"I synchro summon Superthick Samurai Stealth Ninja in defense mode!"
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> [Activate both Superheavy Samurai Soulshield Walls and equip them to the ninja.]
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"I activate two Soulshield Walls! My Ninja's defense is now 5200!"
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[Hey, we're pretty safe now. Nice job, Anon.]
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> He chuckles
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> [The Ninja can attack while in defense mode, using his defense instead of his attack. Did you even read the card?]
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> ...
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[I skimmed it.]
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> [Uh-huh. Just attack the Lady of D and win already.]
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> This feels like cheating
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"Superthick Ninja! -"
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> You are disoriented as Anon forcibly takes control
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"-attack the Lady of D with your secret butt fun attack!"
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> Thankfully, he cedes control back to you once he's had his say
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> Set of Five falls to her knees
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> "This is impossible! Nothing can be stronger than the Blue Eyes White Dragon!"
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> You scoff
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"You lost because you only trusted in your dragon. If you cared about your Lady of D as much as I care about my superthick lads, it would not have been over so quickly."
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> [That's bullshit, her deck just can't win as quickly as mine.]
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[And the heart of the cards has nothing to do with that?]
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> [...Okay, that might help. A little. Still magic cheating.]
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[It's not- ugh. Not the time.]
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"Mind crush!"
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> You walk away from the crumpled mare
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> You're too old for this
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