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BV 3.3 - Golden Age of Apocalypse - Book III: Legacies

By IHeartShinzakura
Created: 16th July 2021 09:31:33 PM
11th March 2021 01:49:16 AM

  1. >gaoa 2, the whole damn thing
  2. >Pony AJ is an idiot racist hick with a hat fixation. A monster attacks the farm and Pony AJ gets wrecked, but Human AJ saves her. Pony AJ pulls her head out of her ass and also gets a boyfriend (Boomer).
  3. >Whiskey Tango Foxtrot is both the name of a character and the sound you make when you hear her backstory. She's a kitsune SIREN and is now friends with Human Octavia.
  4. >Precious Jewel is psycho like Ponk, but with a weird fixation on royalty. She spends a week stalking Sunset, then sees Sunset kissing Ponk and starts dating Prince Exhibition (literally who) instead.
  5. >Grizelda Greatsword(-Martinez), a.k.a Softwing, is a griffon who wants to be a pony so bad that she turns into a human instead. She's Sunset's new seneschal.
  6. >The tripfriends and Edgelord establish the Special Initiative, Royal Equestrian Navy, and start recruiting.
  7. >The Human M6 have superpowers. RD kills some eels with the Speed Force.
  8. >Human Octavia talks to several shrinks but makes no progress regarding "Melody". She almost gets kidnapped, but gets saved by Blueblood. They go on a date or two.
  9. >Highfalutin', Pony Divine Right's sociopath sister, does some scheming that generally goes nowhere. Something might come of this at the actual coronation.
  10. >Hf has two lieutenants, Bizzlepop Ferrytwist (real name: Redeye) and Trapper (real name: Trapper). They kill some people in the backwater town Hf got herself banished to.
  11. >Human Cadance tells Shining Armor that Faust told her she's not allowed to have kids. Instead, they're required to raise the two children of the three SIRENs who (pre-timehax) turned into monsters and impregnated each other.
  12. >The cultists scheme a lot, but don't actually do anything. (Maybe at the actual coronation.)
  13. >Sommerset, a trapeze artist, steals a book, possibly for the cult.
  14. >Sunset gets roofied by a psychic butterfly, and it takes Ponk four hours to notice. Ponk and Sunset almost have sex. End my life, Pete.
  15. So yeah, nothing happens.
  16.  
  17.  
  18.  
  19.  
  20. >gaoa 3, ch.1-3
  21. It's already shit.
  22.  
  23. Last time on GAOA: a psychic butterfly mind-controls Sunset into wanting to fuck Psycho Ponk, and Ponk is too horny to notice anything's wrong until four hours later, at which point they're 95% of the way through a sex scene.
  24.  
  25. Now it's tomorrow, and shit's fucked. Sunset has nightmares about being raped. Ponk has nightmares about raping Sunset and being inducted into the MCDRC. Sunset is up all night vomiting due to the butterfly's venom. This isn't even the bad part.
  26.  
  27. The authors have decided that Ponk Did Nothing Wrong. There was just no way she could have known, during those hours of dancing and making out, that Sunset was an empty shell with no control over her actions. Ponk shouldn't blame herself - she's just as much the victim as Sunset is.
  28.  
  29. All these things are TRUE FACTS. You can tell that they're TRUE FACTS because every character agrees with them wholeheartedly. The only exception is Human Twilight, who is BAD AND WRONG. You can tell she's BAD AND WRONG because the authors tell her that she is through the mouths of every other character in the fic. Fortunately, she recants after a chapter and a half: she has no reason to hate Ponk for nearly raping her sister, and she hopes to overcome this irrational bias eventually.
  30.  
  31. When I say everyone agrees, I do mean everyone. Even Sunset's parents (all three of them) agree that Ponk Did Nothing Wrong. Celestia hasn't even visited her yet - "She thought it would be best to talk to the other victim in this situation", instead.
  32.  
  33.  
  34. In other news
  35. >cultists gonna cult
  36. >Corner Shot is in town
  37. >rando allhu-ackbars the Mage Guild because he hates his life
  38. >other rando has a magic orb that will be Sunset's "undoing"
  39. >Barkeep is a jackass, and has infiltrated the castle (pic related)
  40. >Blueblood is a jackass, but it's okay because he's merely pretending
  41. >Octavia meets Octavia at lunch with Blueblood
  42. >Adagio is a jackass, but only to Berry Sue
  43. >this fic makes me want a lobotomy
  44.  
  45.  
  46.  
  47. >gaoa 3, ch.4-6
  48. Berry Sue's supposed to clean up the mind-control butterfly cocoons in the castle's main ballroom. But, surprise! Mind-control butterflies are essential to the ecology of the Dragonlands. So Berry Sue halts all efforts to contain this raging biohazard, lest the dragon ambassador complain to Celestia.
  49.  
  50. Sunset tells Ponk they need a break. Ponk conspicuously fails to lose her shit over this clear rejection of her worth as a human being. I guess she knows the authors are as dedicated to this ship as she is, so she'll no doubt be getting [spoiler]back[/spoiler] into Sunset's pants before too long.
  51.  
  52. Ponk tries sparring with AJ. AJ is a tae kwon do black-belt, while Ponk has never taken a martial arts class in her life. Ponk wins, presumably thanks to Swordbearer hax. Later, she does the same to some actual royal guards.
  53.  
  54. Blueblood/Octavia is going places. Shame Pony Octavia seems not to be interested—I was hoping for another exceptionally wacky love triangle. Instead we just get a regular love triangle with some noble's bratty daughter, Heatherfield.
  55.  
  56. The coronation happens. It's utterly boring. Out of the 714 different conspiracies that have been built up over the past 250,000 words, not a single one did a single thing.
  57.  
  58. >gaoa 3, ch.7-8
  59. Various characters suddenly realize they have plot threads to wrap up before BV3 ends.
  60.  
  61. At the reception afterward, Cadance and Shining Armor bully Divine Right into asking Pony Twilight for a dance. That ship is also going places, apparently.
  62.  
  63. Nearly the entire cult is inside the castle at this point. Midway through the reception, Barkeep gives the order to enact their evil plan: trigger the mind-control butterflies to hatch, and unleash them on the reception. Notice how, despite having months to prepare, their best plan is something they could only have made up in the past 24 hours.
  64.  
  65. There are hints in 7-8 that the authors have done something mind-bogglingly stupid, but it'll take a few more chapters to be sure.
  66.  
  67.  
  68.  
  69. >gaoa 3, ch.9-11
  70. Previously on GAOA:
  71. >Sunset gets coronated
  72. >several Covenant agents have infiltrated the castle
  73. >the main ballroom is quarantined by the Hooves, as it's full of mind-control butterfly eggs
  74. >during the coronation reception, Barkeep gives the order: activate it
  75.  
  76. Shit gets complicated, so I drew you this helpful diagram: https://u.smutty.horse/lwvwrpvxhnp.png
  77. >1: Lentando is angry about >muh heritage and wants a return to the good old days of luring sailors to their doom in Old Sirenia. She unleashes the butterflies, which were secretly her idea all along. The [spoiler]fish[/spoiler]pony tripfriends fight her but lose, until WTF shows up to help.
  78. >2: In the chaos caused by the butterflies, Corner Shot ambushes Berry Sue and Lockbox and teleports them to the Covenant's dungeon with magic knives.
  79. >3: Barkeep opens the castle gates to let in the angry mob, who are after Celestia for fucking up everything the year after Sunset's death.
  80. >4: Corner Shot catches Sunset's party on their way to the safe room. She tries to knife Sunset, but Octavia takes the hit instead. Corner Shot didn't think to bring backup knives, so she's forced to flee. Ponk runs off to save Octavia on her own with Swordbearer hax.
  81. >5: Sunset's party tries to enter the throne room to reach the safe room at the back, but it's blocked by the angry mob. They send the tripfriends to check if the apartments are safe, and I guess chill in the hallway or something while they wait to hear back.
  82. >6: Celestia emerges from the safe room to talk down the mob. It works by authorial fiat, even though all her apologies are half-assed.
  83. >7: Corner Shot steals the Alicorn Amulet from Berry Sue's room. The tripfriends catch her in the act, but she escapes out the window.
  84. >8: Ponk anime-swordfights Corner Shot. Corner Shot stabs the fuck out of her and escapes just as Sonata shows up.
  85. >9: Corner Shot arrives at HQ. Everyone's pissed she got the "wrong" person with her last knife. The Alicorn Amulet flies out of her grip and latches on to Octavia.
  86.  
  87.  
  88.  
  89. >gaoa 3, ch.12
  90. This week there's some good news, for once.
  91.  
  92. Several chapters ago, it suddenly came out that both Berry Sue and the Covenant believe that Sunset is a descendant of Sombra and the fourth scion. Their evidence:
  93. >her magic is really strong
  94. >she was an orphan, so nobody knows her ancestry
  95.  
  96. Now, that didn't look so good for my theory that Human Octavia is the fourth scion. The evidence for that one:
  97. >her magic is really strong (blew up a restaurant), and it's not derived from the Elements since neither she nor her pony counterpart has one
  98. >she's a descendant of Musica Allegra, a pony who arrived on earth in the middle ages
  99. >Musica Allegra appears in the Edginomicon as a member of Sombra's harem, before suddenly disappearing without a trace
  100. >shortly after, Sombra sends three other members of his harem (who turn out to be the ancestors of three of the scions), all newly pregnant, to Equestria
  101.  
  102. This left the question: did Berry Sue and the Covenant both get the idiot ball all of the sudden? Or are we about to get some nicredibly contrived retcon bullshit? And before you say it's obviously option 1, remember:
  103. >Lt. Skyracer, Other Lt. Skyracer, and Changeling Other Lt. Skyracer
  104. >Human Zephyr Breeze and his sister Other Fluttershy
  105. >Seltenheit, the German camgirl who looks identical to Rarity
  106. >the creepy stalker at the pool tournament who turned out to just want a picture of Berry Sue's bird
  107. This series has long since proved that when it comes to retcons, no stretch is too far.
  108.  
  109. But, in a shocking twist, this week the authors did NOT go full retard. It's confirmed: Musical Allegra was pregnant when she escaped through the mirror to earth. That child, the son of Sombra, was Octavia's direct ancestor.
  110.  
  111. Also, Octavia's evil vanishing twin Melody, given life as Octavia's alter ego thanks to Sunset's healing magic in 7DSJ1, draws on the power of the amulet to take control of Octavia's body and forcibly transform her into a pony.
  112.  
  113.  
  114.  
  115. >gaoa 3, ch.13
  116. Post-coronation, Ponk's in the hospital in stable condition after being stabbed in the heart twice. However, the combination of head trauma and massive blood loss means she's currently in a coma, and nobody's sure when she'll wake up. Sunset spends a while moping, because somehow "it's all my fault" that Ponk ran off on her own and picked a fight with a trained assassin.
  117.  
  118. The Covenant now has everything they need for Sombra's resurrection: the mirror, the Alicorn Amulet, and all four scions. They almost fucked up due to their inexplicable belief that Sunset was the fourth scion, but Corner Shot accidentally kidnapped the right person (Human Octavia) anyway. Octavia got partially PTFG'd by her evil alter ego Melody, but the process was interrupted and now she's stuck as some kind of satyr abomination.
  119.  
  120. Corner Shot asks Tiny Dynamine [spoiler]which is still the worst pony name I've ever seen[/spoiler] about the ritual, and it turns out Dynamine has been bullshitting everyone the entire time. Nobody except herself and maybe Neon Lux knows what the ritual will actually do. Also, Corner Shot realizes that the guys who sent her to kill her her own dad for the lulz don't make for the best allies.
  121.  
  122. The tripfriends, WTF, and the Valanx all parachute from an airship to assault the Covenant's base. Blueblood also jumps, but without a parachute, because even though his main job is pretending to fuck gold-diggers, he still has time to keep up his training in unicorn black-ops badassery. The 3F + WTF are there because it's their job, Blueblood is there because he wants to bang Human Octavia, and the Valanx is there because it's a really cool truck.
  123.  
  124.  
  125.  
  126. >gaoa 3, ch.14
  127. The ride never ends
  128.  
  129. The tripfriends, Edgelord, Blueblood, and WTF drive the Valanx towards the Covenant base, guided by Blueblood's "strand of love", which points to his true love, Human Octavia. The strand guides them to a hidden portal leading to the Covenant's base, even though the portal is miles from the actual base where Octavia is being held (I ain't gotta explain shit). The tripfriends blast open the entrance and get ready to move.
  130.  
  131. Now the plot goes on hold for 10,000 words so the M6 + 8M8 can do some kind of goodwill tour. The first order of business is to match up the six M6, the six remaining 8M8 [spoiler]Octavia's locked up in the Covenant base, and Ponk's in a coma[/spoiler], the six members of the SIREN Advanced Training Group, and the six cities where ponies are rioting and trying to defund Celestia. Naturally, every character must give explicit justification their decisions. Then, each of the six groups gets a 1000-word scene in transit to their chosen city.
  132.  
  133. For the record, the results are:
  134. >Human Rarity, Pony Twilight, Tomahawk, the Crystal Empire
  135. >Human Applejack, Pony Rarity, Ekene, Manehattan
  136. >Human Fluttershy, Pony Applejack, Sunny Side, Dodge Junction
  137. >Human Twilight, Pony Rainbow Dash, Moonblazer, Vanhoover (stopping overnight on the airship Magne-Music)
  138. >Human Rainbow Dash, Pony Fluttershy, Embiggen, Las Pegasus (stopping overnight at Fort Nonsense)
  139. >Sunset, Pony Pinkie Pie, Ushanka, Fillydelphia
  140. Hope you're ready for multiple chapters of 80% filler, because most likely the only one of these that actually matters is Fillydelphia, where Sunset hopes to visit her grandma's museum and personal library ([spoiler]grandma = Faust[/spoiler]).
  141.  
  142. Oh yeah, and Corner Shot is about ready to turn on the Covenant, which would leave them with 4/4 scions in rebellion (or 3/4 in rebellion and 1/4 - Octavia - completely insane).
  143.  
  144.  
  145.  
  146. >gaoa 3, ch.15
  147. GAOA continues to baffle.
  148.  
  149. >squadron commanders gather to find the traitor, codename "Empty", who led the Covenant agents within the military
  150. >Skystreak, the traitor, pins it on Rainbud, who's unpopular enough that it works
  151. >Skystreak plans to follow Sunset to earth to complete her revenge, since the Covenant left Sunset alive
  152. >tripfriends and friends make their way into the Covenant base, taking out a few sentries
  153. >Lux plans to backstab Dynamine, as soon as the ritual is over and he has no more use for her
  154. >(Dynamine also plans to backstab Lux, as soon as the ritual is over and she has no more use for him)
  155. >pony RD chews out Lt. Thunder for letting her fliers nearly knock human Twilight out of the sky
  156. >it's not her fault; her fliers are just too stupid to fly - so Twilight offers to teach them math
  157. >pony Pinkie annoys the hell out of Sunset to keep her from worrying about Ponk
  158. >the nobles begin impeachment proceedings against Celestia
  159. >Fancy Pants, the only noble besides Blueblood who's not a complete dickhead, offers to serve as Celestia's legal counsel
  160. >an army general tells pony RD and batpony-turned-human Moonblazer about the suspicions against Rainbud
  161. >Moonblazer encourages RD to be skeptical - Moonblazer is no stranger to false accusations, since her pegasus sister is a tribalist psychopath
  162. >Corner Shot gets a head start on the backstabbing and breaks the other scions out of jail
  163. >she even brought a healing potion to get Octavia back on her feet (and/or hooves), which surely won't go horribly wrong [spoiler]like Sunset's healing spell, which created Melody[/spoiler]
  164.  
  165. This list is not in chronological order, because linear storytelling is for scrubs. A real pro just tags every scene with the date and time when it begins. Currently we're up to about a 40-hour gap between the pastmost storyline (the raid, standing at 3:20 AM, 45th day of Spring) and the futuremost (pony RD and Moonblazer at the army base, 7:00 PM, 46th of Spring).
  166.  
  167.  
  168.  
  169. >gaoa 3, ch.16-17
  170. BlueBastard's clearly been taking lessons.
  171.  
  172. The scions bust out of the Covenant's dungeon, but the first three are quickly subdued in the ritual chamber, and the fourth (Octavia) ends up hiding in a box in the kitchen. A couple cultists track down Octavia, but she taps into Melody's dark magic and blows them up with a sonic screech.
  173.  
  174. The tripfriends are gunning down cultists all over the base, so it's now or never for the Sombra resurrection ritual. But the ritual's fake, invented by Tiny Dynamine, who was actually Queen Chrysalis the whole time. She's out for revenge against Sombra, and has been working in secret to crush his legacy. She used the cult to gather the scions so she can kill them, and now they're all accounted for, she can destroy the cult as well (at least, the 20% of the cult that's not changeling drones). She tops off her villainous monologue by snapping Father Lux's neck.
  175.  
  176. (Relevant backstory: as described in the Edginomicon, Chrysalis was originally Crisalide della Lucca, an Italian noble girl who Cavalcanti traded to Sombra. He raped her to death (she got better) and did various magical experiments on her, eventually turning her into the first changeling queen. During the war, he ran out of mind control potions, and she got loose, so she wasn't caught up in the banishment of the Crystal Empire.)
  177.  
  178. Blueblood and WTF find Octavia, but stumble straight into the ritual chamber with her in tow, just as Chrysalis is getting ready to start killing scions. Chrysalis grabs the Alicorn Amulet, puts it on, and every single changeling promptly has a seizure.
  179.  
  180. Turns out, when Dynamine grabbed the Amulet during Octavia's forced transformation, it came away with Melody stuck inside. Now Melody wants Chrysalis's body. And, because everything's better with three people involved, all this bullshit somehow wakes up another personality, who speaks Italian and thus is presumably Crisalide (but who the fuck knows for sure).
  181.  
  182. Surprise, bitches!
  183.  
  184.  
  185.  
  186. >gaoa 3, ch.18-20
  187. The tripfriends finish operating, recovering Berry Sue, Lockbox, and Satyrtavia, and capturing Corner Shot and Chrysalis. All the changelings and the three real cultists die in a magic mirror meltdown. Then a bunch of dumb shit happens.
  188.  
  189. >Corner Shot is a good guy now, having turned her back on the cult just before it totally fucking imploded. But Berry Sue, despite being spectacularly well-connected, can't get her charges dropped.
  190. >Chrysalis is now Crisalide, having lost her connection to the hivemind, returned to her natural form as a 15-year-old Italian girl with changeling parts glued on, and somehow reverted to her original personality from before the fall of the Crystal Empire.
  191. >Adm. Tumblehome gets an accurate report about the SIREN operation, then fabricates a new report that makes SIREN look bad and calls for several of her subordinates to be court-martialed. Luna chews her out in front of the pony Joint Chiefs, then puts her on leave pending investigation and replaces her with Vice Adm. Aviso, who actually likes SIREN.
  192. >Based on the false report (which declared the tripfriends KIA), the ATG's character building tour gets cancelled as Twilight and Sunset teleport everyone back to Canterlot to deliver the news. For once, something nice happens. Sunset announces the tripfriends are dead, and literally five seconds later, the walk in the door:
  193. >>"Seriously, who died?" Adagio asked.
  194. >>"Wha... YOU DID!" Rarity shouted, seeming both relieved and furious.
  195. >>"Oh, really? Hadn't noticed."
  196. >Highfalutin' is back in action, molesting her cute secretary and conspiring against the crowns. Co-conspirator Tumblehome calls via "astralpresence device", hoping Hf will bail her out by killing Aviso. Hf pretends to agree but actually sends Ferrytwist to kill Tumblehome instead.
  197.  
  198. With both the main plot and the bizarre last-minute side plot now wrapped up, it seems GAOA will soon be reaching it end. (I expect Celestia's impeachment to drag on into BV4.)
  199.  
  200.  
  201.  
  202. Last week's GAOA chapter was inexplicably published as a side story.
  203.  
  204. >gaoa: reverie
  205. A girl from some backwater village is sent by Queen Twilight to defeat the nefarious Rector Hons in the name of the goddess.
  206. >She meets Normie Ponk, who just wants to smoke weed and fuck her boyfriend Josh (and not get pregnant)
  207. >She meets Old Ponk, who was involved in two different love triangles [spoiler]Shinzakura wrote this chapter, in case you were wondering[/spoiler]. First, she marries Cheese Sandwich, but he gets a job in LA and cheats on her with Sweetie Belle, and then divorces her (but she's already pregnant). Then, her boss Carrot Cake helps her deal with raising a kid alone, and she hooks up with him, but his wife walks in on them one day and she gets fired. So she gets a job at the restaurant across the street, then marries her new boss Fancy Pants, who has just divorced the famous rock star Lyra Heartstrings (this one doesn't count as a love triangle, but it's close). They grow old together, raising six children, until he dies of old age.
  208. >She meets Anime Ponk, who curses a lot and nuthin-personnels a dracolich.
  209. >She finds the grave of Queen Luna, and is magically granted the holy sword Celestia so she can save the world from Rector Hons.
  210. >She gets all the way to the room before the boss fight, then Faust pulls her out.
  211.  
  212. Turns out the whole thing was some kind of acid-trip coma dream as Psycho Ponk unfortunately fails to die in the pony hospital. Now that Ponk's mostly recovered, I guess, Faust and The Megan have a chat with her about swordbearer shit. Ponk's all-in, of course - anything for Sunny. Faust gives Ponk her sword, Rosegarden, which she promptly renames to Boop (I guess even this psycho still remembers how to Ponk). Then she wakes up, with Sunset at her bedside.
  213.  
  214.  
  215.  
  216. >gaoa 3, ch.21-23
  217. Every major storyline is done (even the last-minute bonus subplot), but GAOA shows no sign of actually ending.
  218.  
  219. Highfalutin' teleports Ferrytwist to Canterlot to bust Barkeep out of jail and send him to kill Tumblehome. This works, but only because nobody bothered to tell Barkeep that the entire cult was made of changelings.
  220.  
  221. Human Celestia walks in on Barkeep before he gets away, so he takes her hostage. This brand-new crisis goes on for a chapter or so, until Crisalide (who also broke out of jail after seeing Ferrytwist go by) shows up in the guise of the oracle, Tiny Dynamine, and convinces Barkeep to surrender. Crisalide's jailbreak was just for funsies, and she lets the guard take her back to her cell afterward.
  222.  
  223. My favorite little psycho is alive and Ponking, thanks to her ever-more-powerful Swordbearer hax. But before she can get back to her regular job of sexually harrassing Sunset, she has to angst for a while about whether she's even still human, now that she has all these ridiculous superpowers. Scilight, who has long since forgiven Ponk for raping Sunset, cheers her up.
  224.  
  225. The impeachment proceedings against "Sleepy Celestia" are ongoing, led by Riven Oak. (He has demeaning nicknames for everypony, just like le orange man.) But "Fancy Pants-on-Head" has been running a strong defense, so he's looking for additional options, such as going after Twilight. Everyone on the impeachment team is blatantly, hilariously corrupt (in cahoots with Highfalutin' and Tumblehome (RIP)) and not even trying to pretend otherwise.
  226.  
  227. As a reminder, it has been five full chapters (about 42,000 words) since the climactic battle that ended the scion/Covenant plotline, which was the main plotline of all of GAOA. I really hope BlueBastard isn't aiming to challenge Shinzakura's record for longest epilogue, which currently stands at 171,504 words (7DSJ5).
  228.  
  229.  
  230.  
  231. Once upon a time, there was a man who just wanted to write a story about Sunset Shimmer spending seven days in Equestria. But his story needed a prologue and an epilogue, so he asked his friend for help. His friend, being an honest-to-goodness crazy person, wrote hundreds of thousands of words of extraneous bullshit, far exceeding the length of the main story, all full of convoluted plotlines and obscure side characters with no relevance to the story itself.
  232.  
  233. Then, five years later, they did it all again, with their roles reversed.
  234.  
  235. >gaoa 3, ch.24-25
  236. It has been SEVEN chapters (55,000 words) since the main plot finished. The end is nowhere in sight, and we're charging headlong into 7DSJ Book 4 "what is this story even about anymore" territory.
  237.  
  238. White pony bad! [impeachment intensifies] The badguys' new plan is to court-martial Pony Divine Right for not saving the world from butterflies, even though he wasn't even on duty that night. The point is to make Twilight unhappy (everyone in the world ships her and DR), which will then make Celestia unhappy. Celestia, unhappy, puts on her serious hat and vows to "introduce Parliament to real politics".
  239.  
  240. Human Celestia develops an inexplicable obsession with adopting Crisalide. Shining Armor says it's not mind control, so this is totally fine and reasonable. Princess Luna's only concern is whether the Equestrian public will be okay with Chrysalis getting off scot-free after all the awful things she's done. (Luna getting off scot-free was totally different, because of reasons.)
  241.  
  242. Pony Blueblood gives Human Octavia a magic ring that's been in his family for generations, which turns her pony legs back to normal (and also drains her life force if she wears it too long). Then he confesses his undying love for her, and mentions he got a new job working for Sunset on earth. Octavia thinks about it for a minute, then decides that she's totally fine with dating the AU version of the guy who tried to rape her.
  243.  
  244. Why
  245.  
  246.  
  247.  
  248. >gaoa 3, ch.26-27
  249. I don't even know what's happening any more
  250.  
  251. >a random conspiracy to kill Crisalide pops up out of nowhere, successfully infiltrates the castle and gets into her cell, but gets BTFO by WTF (who shapeshifted and took Crisalide's place as a decoy) and arrested by the guards, because apparently they stood around discussing the plot just outside Crisalide's cell, which was bugged (hue hue)
  252. >an anonymous source leaks Blueblood's secret identity to the press (and more to Queen Mandible), but Smokechaser (the new director of the Agency) immediately figures out it was Deputy Director Clandestine, who's mad jelly about not getting promoted after years of watching Director Blueblood pretend to be retarded and get endless supermodel pussy (also pretend)
  253. >Celestia's maybe still getting impeached, or maybe about to BTFO the entire nobility, but at the rate these one-off useless subplots keep spawning, I doubt we'll find out one way or another any time this decade >Blueblood/Octavia/Octavia looks like it's going to get interesting, as Pony Octavia is freaked out by Blueblood (who's like a brother to her) dating Human Octavia, but she calms down once Blueblood has a chance to explain how totally not weird and/or creepy it is
  254. >Sunset bullies Divine Right into confessing his love to Twilight, so that ship can get going properly
  255. >Faust reappears out of fucking nowhere after millennia and Celestia doesn't even give her mom a hug, just talks srs bsns about how she's committed to sacrificing everything for the sake of Twilight's love life, to somehow make up for her mistakes with Luna and Sunset (then Luna arrives, sees Faust, and actually behaves like a reasonable pony)
  256.  
  257. What is even the point
  258.  
  259.  
  260.  
  261. >gaoa 3, ch.28
  262. It's not dead, I promise
  263.  
  264. It's time for the court-martial and/or impeachment trial of Prince Captain Divine Right (Pony Edition) at Nobility House. (DR is the captain of Princess Twilight's Friendship Guard, and also her coltfriend.) The charges are bullshit but Marquis Riven Oak has set this up as a way to strike at the princesses in advance of Celestia's own impeachment trial, which is the first step in his plan to become king (and an alicorn too, if he can).
  265.  
  266. Celestia starts by dismissing the case, the trial turns into a huge shouting match, and we get four rounds of this:
  267. >sunbutt: I dismiss the case
  268. >bad guys: You can't do that, you need another princess to second the motion
  269. >sb: You're right, but Sunset will support it
  270. >bg: You still can't do that, it's a conflict of interest
  271. >sb: You're right, but I'll activate the ESCALATION PROTOCOL to promote myself to queen
  272. >bg: You can't do that, you're under impeachment
  273. >sb: You're right, but I'll abdicate, making Luna crown princess, then activate the ESCALATION PROTOCOL to make her queen
  274. >bg: You can't do that... oh wait, I guess you can
  275. They call a recess at this point, but Celestia doesn't bother coming back afterward. She just sends Kibbitz to announce that I'M OUT, BITCHES, Luna is now Queen of All Cosmos, parliament is dissolved until all the nobles have sworn fealty to Equestria and Queen Luna, and by the way, Divine Right's case is still dismissed.
  276.  
  277. Celestia didn't bother to tell Luna about this plan in advance. The actual purpose of the recess is to fill her in and make sure she agrees to it. You'd think she would have explained it last night, you know, when Luna walked in on Celestia and Faust discussing this exact plot. But it's far more dramatic for Celestia to give an impassioned, last-minute speech about how she just wants to be a teacher.
  278.  
  279. The main plot is over, and now the replacement main plot is over too, so GAOA as a whole should be ending some time within the next 3 to 6,000 months.
  280.  
  281.  
  282. >>36191802
  283. Yeah, I don't really get it. The eventual solution (making Luna queen) was her plan all along, as far as I can tell, so I don't see why she didn't just get to it. She makes this big speech about how the nobility is full of corruption, which she could have just ended with "and that's why I'm dissolving the parliament and setting up my sister as supreme leader". But of course it's more dramatic if it looks like she's flying by the seat of her pants. (Shinzakura wrote this particular chapter, in case it wasn't obvious.)
  284.  
  285.  
  286.  
  287. >gaoa 3, ch.29-30
  288. I lost my notes on chapter 29 and I'll be damned if I'm going to reread the whole thing. I'm pretty sure nothing interesting happened anyway.
  289.  
  290. In chapter 30, Sunset, the human M6, satyr Octavia, Mi Amore Cadenza (Esquire), Shining Armor, Night Light, Twilight Velvet, the tripfriends, the ATG, Admiral Edgelord, Superintendent Celestia, Principal Luna, Crisalide della Lucca, Grizelda Greatsword-Martinez, and Blueblood all depart for Earth through the mirror.
  291.  
  292. Some bad guys meet up in a bathroom. Chrysoberyl swears revenge against her half-sister Berry Sue. Skystreak swears revenge against Sunset. Sommerset reveals herself to be Starlight Glimmer and swears revenge against pony Twilight Sparkle. Melody (who's still a necklace) swears revenge against human Octavia. These are all on the pony side of the mirror, by the way, so at least two of them are going to have an awful hard time getting at their targets.
  293.  
  294. On the human side of the mirror, pony Celestia is on "vacation" with a few dozen of her Hooves. Sunbutt being Sunbutt, there's an ulterior motive: her goal is to marry off as many Hooves as possible to unsuspecting humans, as one part retirement plan (the mirror turns a 73-year-old sirens into 23-year-old nohooves) and one part political scheme (to "lay the groundwork for a grander alliance" with humanity in the future). [spoiler]Is this something normies actually do? Spend a week at an Indonesian resort and bring some random chick home with you? Well, it takes all sorts, I guess.[/spoiler] Anyway, just don't think about the passports and it makes perfect sense.
  295.  
  296. Finally, an anonymous Japanese girl hopes the Chīkyū no Megami ("Goddess of Earth") will save her from the Ordo Duodecim. But the Grandmaster already knows and is planning some kind of trap, the first step in his plan to destroy Sunset Shimmer.
  297.  
  298. IT'S FINALLY FINISHED. GAOA IS DEAD, LONG LIVE THE BERYLVERSE
  299. [spoiler]WIZARD WAR SOON[/spoiler]

BV 4.1 - Paint the Sky

by IHeartShinzakura

BV 3.3 - Golden Age of Apocalypse - Book III: Legacies

by IHeartShinzakura

BV 3.2 - The Golden Age of Apocalypse, Book II: Synchronicity

by IHeartShinzakura

BV 3.1 - The Golden Age of Apocalypse - Book I

by IHeartShinzakura

BV 2.5 - Seven Days in Sunny June, Book V: The New Frontier

by IHeartShinzakura