Tsundere Ponies


                                            >Day Tsundere in Equestria

                                            >You are Anon, Ponyville's newest resident.

                                            >For the foreseeable future, you are to call this place 'home'.

                                            >While Princesses Celestia and Luna research ways to send you home, Twilight Sparkle is asking you about your home world.

                                            "...And then I punched her in the crotch."

                                            >Twilight's scribbling down notes as fast as she can keep the flow of parchment going.

                                            >"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, Anon."

                                            >No arguments here.

                                            >"Is there anything you can tell me about you or your species that ISN'T a huge waste of time?"

                                            "W-what?"

                                            >That was uncalled for.

                                            >"You know, something USEFUL! Technology, science, magic, gender roles, ANYTHING!"

                                            >God dammit Twilight, you've been covering that shit for the last four hours.

                                            "It's getting a bit late to be discussing something as vast and far-reaching as any of those topics."

                                            >Twilight stopped making her adorable scrunchy face and looked at the clock on the wall

                                            >1:37 AM

                                            >"...Fine, if you're going to be a foal about it, we can continue tomorrow."

                                            >Twilight gets up and walks up the stairs, motioning to you with her head to follow.

                                            >"C'mon, here's where you'll be staying."

                                            >Where you'll be staying is apparently her bedroom.

                                            >l-lewd

                                            "....I'll be sleeping in your bed?"

                                            >She scoffs in irritation, a light blush on her cheeks.

                                            >"Yes, Anon, you will. You're my guest, and you'll be treated properly."

                                            "Not that I don't appreciate it, Twilight, but where are YOU going to sleep?"

                                            >You could SWEAR her blush got more intense.

                                            >"D-don't worry about me, human. I have a perfectly good couch downstairs in the main library room."

                                            >Well THAT'S not fair. Her house, her bed; you can take the couch.

                                            "Twilight, that's very kind of you, but it's YOUR bed. YOU take it; I'LL take the couch."

                                            >Ruh-roh, Raggy. The scrunchy face is back.

                                            >"I'm not going to let Princess Celestia's special guest sleep on a lumpy, uncomfortable couch, Anon. Now, take the bed!"

                                            >Lumpy?

                                            "Were you really going to sleep on an awful couch just so that I could have a nice place to sleep?"

                                            >It's like her face is swimming in tomato sauce.

                                            >"Sh-shut up! Just.... if you aren't going to let me sleep on the couch, th-then I guess we'll b-both have to share the b-b-bed, then!"

                                            >Without another glance, Twilight trots over to her bed and hops up.

                                            >Yup; it's pony-sized.

                                            >"W-well? Get in!"

                                            >You were the big spoon tonight.


                                            -------


                                            >Day Being Useful in Equestria

                                            >You are Anon, and you're carrying your weight down at Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack.

                                            >Just because you were stolen from your home, doesn't mean you have to be a whiny little bitch about it.

                                            >If you're going to be staying with Twilight (and sharing her bed, apparently), then you insist that you'll pay rent.

                                            >When you told her that, Twilight called you a dummy and teleported out.

                                            >You haven't seen you since.

                                            >"C'mon, Anawn, put that weird muhnkey strength ter good use. Haul these baskets fer me, y'hear?"

                                            >You heard the boss.

                                            >Using your superior human spine (in line with your legs), you can lift far more than a pony can.

                                            >For this reason, Applejack reluctantly agreed to let you work on her farm.

                                            >As long as you made sure there wasn't any "funny business".

                                            >Pfft, okay, Applejack.

                                            >You'll try your best not to fuck some horses, but you can't promise anything.

                                            >Fucking degenerates.

                                            >With a heave and a grunt, you lift the baskets around your feet and.....

                                            >...promptly collapse under the weight.

                                            >God DAMN you, superior human spine!

                                            >Fuck me, these apples are heavy.

                                            >"Anawn!"

                                            >Applejack comes sprinting over to you, looking both angry and worried.

                                            >"Anawn, whut happened!"

                                            "Nothing, Applejack. Just lifted more than I can carry."

                                            >"Nothing?! Yew idgit, you cudda hurt yerself somethin' awful!"

                                            >She gets all up in your face like you just pissed on her apple pie.

                                            >"Ah have half'uh mind to sent y'all o'er yonder to the barn to sort rotten apples with Apple Bloom."

                                            >From the distance, a young girl's voice echoes.

                                            >>"Ah don't need no help from that thar monkey-man! Not if'fin he'll just hurt his dang self!"

                                            >God DAMN these ponies have good hearing.

                                            >"Anawn, jus' y'all sit down on the porch til yer back feels better, 'hear?"

                                            >That's almost sweet.

                                            "Applejack, I didn't know you cared."

                                            >You are the king of deadpan.

                                            >Her orange face turns red, and she glares at you.

                                            >"Ah DON'T, friendo. Twahlahght'll tan mah hide if Ah get you hurt."

                                            >She gently headbutts you in the direction of the house.

                                            >"Now skedaddle! A-an' if'fin y'all see Granny Smith, you tell her t-to give her summa'that pie Ah've been savin' fer a special 'ccasion."

                                            "Applejack, are you sure? If you want to save it, then you do-"

                                            >"Aw shoot, 'course Ah'm sure! Consider this a thank-you for not telling Twahlahght that you nearly got yer dumb self hurt on mah farm."

                                            >Why don't these ponies like you?


                                            -------------------------------


                                            >Day Gotta Go Fast in Equestria

                                            >You are Anon, and Rainbow Dash is showing off to you.

                                            >You're VERY impressed with her.

                                            >Mostly because horses don't fly where you come from.

                                            >Rainbow Dash flies up to you and settles into a hover in front of your face.

                                            >"Did you see that! I think I set a whole new record."

                                            "Yeah, Rainbow, that was amazing! I've never seen anything like it!"

                                            >She blushes, but turns away from you.

                                            >"D-don't think you can butter me up with compliments, Anon. Twilight's told me all about you."

                                            >....why is Twilight spreading rumours about you?

                                            >Shit. Time for damage control.

                                            "No, Dashie, I mean it. The control you have in the air is breath-taking, and I can tell you right now that I'll NEVER forget that... what did you call it? Rainbow Boom?"

                                            >She's blushing harder, and she won't meet your eyes.

                                            >Welp, if she already doesn't like you, then you have nothing to lose.

                                            >You cup her cheek, startling her out of whatever was going on in her head.

                                            "What you can do is nothing short of magical, Rainbow. And I'm not just saying that to 'butter you up'. I really mean it."

                                            >"Juh-bgh-HNNG..."

                                            >You think you broke the bird-horse.

                                            >"THANKYOUSHUTUPNOW"

                                            >With that burst of words, Rainbow Dash flies away to parts unknown.

                                            >Aww, that was actually really cute.

                                            >Tiny blue pony can't take a compliment.

                                            >You gotta remember to tell Twilight about that.


                                            ------------------


                                            >Day Mannequins Are Scary in Equestria.

                                            >Rarity requested your presence today at her boutique.

                                            >She said that she can't pass up the opportunity to study a whole new world's-worth of fashion, and that you simply MUST visit some time, dear.

                                            >And so, you are sitting on a tiny pony chair across from Rarity, drinking tea from tiny pony cups on tiny pony saucers.

                                            >Rarity is talking to you, but you're too busy focusing on the horse-mannequins she has lined up.

                                            >Mane-equins?

                                            >MannEquine?

                                            >Horse puns are HARD.

                                            >"Anonymous! Are you even paying attention?"

                                            >She scoffs and daintily drains the rest of her mug.

                                            >"I canNOT believe how rude you are being right now. I let you into MY abode so that we can discuss YOUR fashion, and you don't even listen to what I have to say."

                                            "Rarity, YOU wanted to talk to me about Earth fashion, not the other way around."

                                            >Okay, that sounded a bit rude.

                                            "Look, I'm sorry that I wasn't paying attention. Mannequins kind of... scare me, y'see, and I feel pretty creeped out being surrounded by them."

                                            >Rarity looks caught between angry and worried.

                                            >She looks like a concerned aunt, to be honest.

                                            >"W-well darling, why didn't you say something earlier?"

                                            >She glow-horns all the pony statues into the back room and glares at you.

                                            >"If you had just told me that you were scared, then we wouldn't have wasted all this time!"

                                            >She huffs and makes irritated horse noises at you.

                                            >Well, you guess you can say goodbye to new horseclothes.

                                            >"I suppose I should apologize, Anonymous. As your host, I should have noticed your discomfort sooner."

                                            "Rarity, it's fine. I should have sa-"

                                            >"Don't you dare try and take the blame for this, Anonymous! Now get up onto that podium over there; I want to take your measurements."

                                            >She nudges you with her magic, and you scramble to your feet.

                                            >Why aren't you discussing Earth fashion any more? Did you really fuck up this badly?

                                            "Wait, I'm sor-"

                                            >"Anonymous, you are walking out of this shop with a new set of clothing, and that's final."

                                            >She blushes and glares at you.

                                            >"I won't have my reputation besmirched by.. by... some ruffian!"

                                            >Well excuse me, princess.

                                            "A ruffian?"

                                            >This is so cute.

                                            >Rarity says nothing; she just sputters and grabs for her measuring tape.

                                            >"Forearms spread, darling."

                                            >Today was a free clothes kind of day.