GREEN
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1465 8.44 KB 150
1465 8.44 KB 150
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>Day Tsundere in Equestria
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>You are Anon, Ponyville's newest resident.
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>For the foreseeable future, you are to call this place 'home'.
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>While Princesses Celestia and Luna research ways to send you home, Twilight Sparkle is asking you about your home world.
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"...And then I punched her in the crotch."
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>Twilight's scribbling down notes as fast as she can keep the flow of parchment going.
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>"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, Anon."
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>No arguments here.
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>"Is there anything you can tell me about you or your species that ISN'T a huge waste of time?"
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"W-what?"
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>That was uncalled for.
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>"You know, something USEFUL! Technology, science, magic, gender roles, ANYTHING!"
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>God dammit Twilight, you've been covering that shit for the last four hours.
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"It's getting a bit late to be discussing something as vast and far-reaching as any of those topics."
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>Twilight stopped making her adorable scrunchy face and looked at the clock on the wall
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>1:37 AM
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>"...Fine, if you're going to be a foal about it, we can continue tomorrow."
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>Twilight gets up and walks up the stairs, motioning to you with her head to follow.
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>"C'mon, here's where you'll be staying."
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>Where you'll be staying is apparently her bedroom.
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>l-lewd
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"....I'll be sleeping in your bed?"
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>She scoffs in irritation, a light blush on her cheeks.
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>"Yes, Anon, you will. You're my guest, and you'll be treated properly."
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"Not that I don't appreciate it, Twilight, but where are YOU going to sleep?"
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>You could SWEAR her blush got more intense.
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>"D-don't worry about me, human. I have a perfectly good couch downstairs in the main library room."
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>Well THAT'S not fair. Her house, her bed; you can take the couch.
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"Twilight, that's very kind of you, but it's YOUR bed. YOU take it; I'LL take the couch."
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>Ruh-roh, Raggy. The scrunchy face is back.
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>"I'm not going to let Princess Celestia's special guest sleep on a lumpy, uncomfortable couch, Anon. Now, take the bed!"
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>Lumpy?
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"Were you really going to sleep on an awful couch just so that I could have a nice place to sleep?"
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>It's like her face is swimming in tomato sauce.
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>"Sh-shut up! Just.... if you aren't going to let me sleep on the couch, th-then I guess we'll b-both have to share the b-b-bed, then!"
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>Without another glance, Twilight trots over to her bed and hops up.
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>Yup; it's pony-sized.
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>"W-well? Get in!"
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>You were the big spoon tonight.
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>Day Being Useful in Equestria
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>You are Anon, and you're carrying your weight down at Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack.
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>Just because you were stolen from your home, doesn't mean you have to be a whiny little bitch about it.
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>If you're going to be staying with Twilight (and sharing her bed, apparently), then you insist that you'll pay rent.
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>When you told her that, Twilight called you a dummy and teleported out.
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>You haven't seen you since.
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>"C'mon, Anawn, put that weird muhnkey strength ter good use. Haul these baskets fer me, y'hear?"
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>You heard the boss.
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>Using your superior human spine (in line with your legs), you can lift far more than a pony can.
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>For this reason, Applejack reluctantly agreed to let you work on her farm.
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>As long as you made sure there wasn't any "funny business".
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>Pfft, okay, Applejack.
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>You'll try your best not to fuck some horses, but you can't promise anything.
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>Fucking degenerates.
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>With a heave and a grunt, you lift the baskets around your feet and.....
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>...promptly collapse under the weight.
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>God DAMN you, superior human spine!
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>Fuck me, these apples are heavy.
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>"Anawn!"
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>Applejack comes sprinting over to you, looking both angry and worried.
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>"Anawn, whut happened!"
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"Nothing, Applejack. Just lifted more than I can carry."
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>"Nothing?! Yew idgit, you cudda hurt yerself somethin' awful!"
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>She gets all up in your face like you just pissed on her apple pie.
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>"Ah have half'uh mind to sent y'all o'er yonder to the barn to sort rotten apples with Apple Bloom."
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>From the distance, a young girl's voice echoes.
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>>"Ah don't need no help from that thar monkey-man! Not if'fin he'll just hurt his dang self!"
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>God DAMN these ponies have good hearing.
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>"Anawn, jus' y'all sit down on the porch til yer back feels better, 'hear?"
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>That's almost sweet.
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"Applejack, I didn't know you cared."
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>You are the king of deadpan.
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>Her orange face turns red, and she glares at you.
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>"Ah DON'T, friendo. Twahlahght'll tan mah hide if Ah get you hurt."
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>She gently headbutts you in the direction of the house.
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>"Now skedaddle! A-an' if'fin y'all see Granny Smith, you tell her t-to give her summa'that pie Ah've been savin' fer a special 'ccasion."
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"Applejack, are you sure? If you want to save it, then you do-"
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>"Aw shoot, 'course Ah'm sure! Consider this a thank-you for not telling Twahlahght that you nearly got yer dumb self hurt on mah farm."
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>Why don't these ponies like you?
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>Day Gotta Go Fast in Equestria
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>You are Anon, and Rainbow Dash is showing off to you.
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>You're VERY impressed with her.
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>Mostly because horses don't fly where you come from.
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>Rainbow Dash flies up to you and settles into a hover in front of your face.
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>"Did you see that! I think I set a whole new record."
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"Yeah, Rainbow, that was amazing! I've never seen anything like it!"
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>She blushes, but turns away from you.
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>"D-don't think you can butter me up with compliments, Anon. Twilight's told me all about you."
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>....why is Twilight spreading rumours about you?
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>Shit. Time for damage control.
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"No, Dashie, I mean it. The control you have in the air is breath-taking, and I can tell you right now that I'll NEVER forget that... what did you call it? Rainbow Boom?"
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>She's blushing harder, and she won't meet your eyes.
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>Welp, if she already doesn't like you, then you have nothing to lose.
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>You cup her cheek, startling her out of whatever was going on in her head.
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"What you can do is nothing short of magical, Rainbow. And I'm not just saying that to 'butter you up'. I really mean it."
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>"Juh-bgh-HNNG..."
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>You think you broke the bird-horse.
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>"THANKYOUSHUTUPNOW"
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>With that burst of words, Rainbow Dash flies away to parts unknown.
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>Aww, that was actually really cute.
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>Tiny blue pony can't take a compliment.
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>You gotta remember to tell Twilight about that.
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>Day Mannequins Are Scary in Equestria.
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>Rarity requested your presence today at her boutique.
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>She said that she can't pass up the opportunity to study a whole new world's-worth of fashion, and that you simply MUST visit some time, dear.
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>And so, you are sitting on a tiny pony chair across from Rarity, drinking tea from tiny pony cups on tiny pony saucers.
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>Rarity is talking to you, but you're too busy focusing on the horse-mannequins she has lined up.
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>Mane-equins?
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>MannEquine?
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>Horse puns are HARD.
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>"Anonymous! Are you even paying attention?"
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>She scoffs and daintily drains the rest of her mug.
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>"I canNOT believe how rude you are being right now. I let you into MY abode so that we can discuss YOUR fashion, and you don't even listen to what I have to say."
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"Rarity, YOU wanted to talk to me about Earth fashion, not the other way around."
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>Okay, that sounded a bit rude.
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"Look, I'm sorry that I wasn't paying attention. Mannequins kind of... scare me, y'see, and I feel pretty creeped out being surrounded by them."
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>Rarity looks caught between angry and worried.
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>She looks like a concerned aunt, to be honest.
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>"W-well darling, why didn't you say something earlier?"
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>She glow-horns all the pony statues into the back room and glares at you.
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>"If you had just told me that you were scared, then we wouldn't have wasted all this time!"
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>She huffs and makes irritated horse noises at you.
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>Well, you guess you can say goodbye to new horseclothes.
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>"I suppose I should apologize, Anonymous. As your host, I should have noticed your discomfort sooner."
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"Rarity, it's fine. I should have sa-"
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>"Don't you dare try and take the blame for this, Anonymous! Now get up onto that podium over there; I want to take your measurements."
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>She nudges you with her magic, and you scramble to your feet.
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>Why aren't you discussing Earth fashion any more? Did you really fuck up this badly?
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"Wait, I'm sor-"
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>"Anonymous, you are walking out of this shop with a new set of clothing, and that's final."
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>She blushes and glares at you.
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>"I won't have my reputation besmirched by.. by... some ruffian!"
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>Well excuse me, princess.
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"A ruffian?"
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>This is so cute.
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>Rarity says nothing; she just sputters and grabs for her measuring tape.
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>"Forearms spread, darling."
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>Today was a free clothes kind of day.
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon