MLP: Technology Isn't Magic


                                            >You are Anon.

                                            >You are not an engineer.

                                            >You really only have an education in general science.

                                            >A bachelor's, no less.

                                            >When Twilight decided that, since she can't comprehend anything outside the scope of "a wizard did it", everything you've ever said about your old world's technology MUST be a lie.

                                            >And on top of that, she's ANGRY at you now because you're suggesting things that she can't immediately explain away with magic.

                                            >Because Princess Twilight Fucking Sparkle is ALWAYS right.

                                            >Cunt.

                                            >You spent a solid two hours arguing about light bulbs and how they work, which really only resulted in swearing never to speak to the mare ever again, and also making Twilight cry.

                                            >Now that you've got that out of your system, you think back on the last few years.

                                            >From the relative peace of your shitty cottage, you've been re-discovering Earth's technology.

                                            >You aren't about to Macgyver together a nuclear reactor, but you can put together light bulbs and steam engines pretty well.

                                            >Stashed somewhere in your basement is a dozen or so boxes FULL of parchment with your notes on it, ranging from half-remembered ideas during your first week, to the calculations necessary for a steam engine not to explode when you use it.

                                            >Oh, your basement!

                                            >You have one now.

                                            >You had a huge basement commissioned with all of your experiments housed within.

                                            >Not long after your intense argument with Twilight (and after you calmed down a bit), you contacted the Princesses and gave them an offer.

                                            >They provide you with funding, and in return you develop tech that will improve the daily lives of ponykind.

                                            >They were understandably hesitant; they'd been alive for thousands of years, and nopony had developed the light bulb.

                                            >But knowing that you were from an entirely different world, they gave you a small amount of bits as an act of faith.

                                            >Two weeks later, you surprised them with a working light bulb and hand-crank generator.

                                            >Needless to say, your funding increased significantly.


                                            >One other thing you asked in exchange for your work was to keep the newest Princess in the dark.

                                            >You aren't proud of that. It was immature and petty.

                                            >But God only knows that you are more stubborn and spiteful than the average human, and you didn't want Twilight to fuck things up for you.

                                            >She could halt the delivery of your raw materials; spread word that you're a liar to discredit you; straight-up ban production of your goods for "public safety".

                                            >Again; cunt.

                                            >All Twilight knows is that the Princesses are regularly sending in an unusually-large shipment of steel, copper, and other raw materials.

                                            >Princess Celestia told her that the contents were confidential, and Twilight tripped over herself in her effort to obey.

                                            >This is despite the fact that Twilight is on equal grounds (in terms of authority) as the other three Princesses. Or, at least high enough that she is legally allowed to look at the contents of these shipments.

                                            >She's completely in the dark over what you're accomplishing.

                                            >This isn't to imply that you and Twilight haven't spoken to each other in years; you are no longer friends, but you can have a civil conversation when you meet up at the market, and you'll sit at the same table when you're having drinks with your friends.

                                            >The argument was really the straw that broke the camel's back in regards to your relationship with Twilight. You were never really good friends with her to begin with, and her obnoxious "I'm always right" attitude rubbed you the wrong way.

                                            >Don't think you haven't noticed the way she looks at you patronizingly.

                                            >However, today is the day.

                                            >You've already personally delivered prototypes of your inventions (re-inventions?) and demonstrated them in front of the royalty, and they've had their own researchers study your machines for ways to implement them in the future.


                                            >With a city as small as Canterlot (compared to your old cities, that is) and the ability to control the weather, a few dozen wind stations should be enough to light up all of their capital city.

                                            >And it's all going to be unveiled tonight.

                                            >After this, you can share your business with the world.

                                            >A steam-powered tractor for the Apples; no more firefly or oil lamps for anypony; even a basic combustion engine for the biggest tasks that either magic can't handle, or required dozens of unicorns to provide enough energy to accomplish.


                                            >And so you stand with your five pony friends (and one pony friendly acquaintance) in front of a big podium made of study metal frames.

                                            >Applejack and Rainbow Dash are excited to see what was so important that the Princesses had summoned the Elements of Harmony (as well as most of Canterlot's nobility).

                                            >Twilight was too busy admiring the steelwork that your hard work allowed ponies to produce.

                                            >"Look at it! Everything is so smooth and uniform. I can't imagine how talented the smithy had to be to produce all these. There isn't a single impurity in the metal, either."

                                            >Keep it in your pants, Twilight.

                                            >Princesses Celestia and Luna materialize in front of the heavy red velvet curtains, grabbing everypony's attention.


                                            >>"Hear ye, hear ye! The Princesses of Equestria, that is Luna and I, are proud to present to you inventions that will change the world!"

                                            >"Oh! Oh goodness, whatever do they have to show us?"

                                            >You can barely contain your glee.

                                            >>"But first, I must ask the stallion behind these innovations to join me on-stage."

                                            >Pause for dramatic effect, and.....

                                            >>"Or rather, the MAN behind the innovations."

                                            >Celestia winks at you, and you wink back.


                                            >Twilight is looking at you in confusion.

                                            >She still remembers the human nomenclature you taught her before your weekly study sessions stopped.

                                            >With a smug, shit-eating grin directed at Twilight, you stand from your seat and stride up the side stairs and onto the platform.

                                            >>"Anonymous the Human requested funding, years ago, so that he could re-discover the marvellous sciences of his civilization and share them with ponykind. In exchange for contributing to the royal effort of improving lives, he asked only to keep his work secret until it was ready to be revealed."

                                            >A glance at the audience shows enraptured (if confused) faces.

                                            >Twilight's looking mighty pale.

                                            >You get a half-chub just from the look on her face.

                                            >Cunt.


                                            >The reveal goes AMAZINGLY. Ponies gasp at all the right times, clap in all the right places, and are generally thrilled that they no longer have to rely on unicorns to get most things done.

                                            >The unicorns in question look relieved that their workload is going to be much, much less back-breaking.

                                            >When you demonstrated how light bulbs work, Twilight practically shat herself in rage and disbelief.

                                            >You practically climaxed when you saw the look of dawning horror when you went through, step by step, how these fucker function.

                                            >That's right, bitch. Who's the moron now?

                                            >(hint: it's you)

                                            >(you're the moron)


                                            >Your favourite part will always be etched into your memory.

                                            >You got a container of the closest thing you had to petroleum and dumped it into the fuel tank of your combustion engine.

                                            >You tugged on the starter-cord a few times, and watched as even the Princesses jumped a bit at the noise this thing was making.

                                            >The engine (which was really more of a generator) was hooked up to all sorts of lights and stupid devices with moving parts.

                                            >These had been hidden in the dark corners of the room, and had gone unnoticed until now.

                                            >But with the generator powering them, everypony lost their collective minds.

                                            >You aren't sure if Twilight wanted to scan the generator or destroy it, but when she jumped off of her seat and rushed on stage, Princess Celestia didn't let her get close.

                                            >She kept on shouting about how it couldn't work without magic, and how big of a liar you were.

                                            >Yup; full on erection now.

                                            >You pitch a tent in your pants in front of hundreds of ponies, and you don't even care.


                                            >A few days later, once Twilight had calmed down, the two of you had a very long discussion.

                                            >She was super-pissed that you had hidden all of this from her, and nervously denied your accusations that she would have tried to put a stop to your shit.

                                            >You accepted an apology (and a written and signed document admitting that she was wrong) from the youngest Princess, and the two of you parted ways.

                                            >The two of you still meet up for drinks occasionally, and you get a sense of smug satisfaction when you and your collective group of friends sit at a table with an electric bulb hanging from the ceiling.


                                            End.