Strange Waifus


                                            >You are Anon.

                                            >Your bed is EXTRA comfy today.

                                            >You wonder why.

                                            >You feel something soft and warm snuggle you.

                                            >Do you have another night-time visitor?

                                            >These fucking horses, man.

                                            >They can't seem to comprehend that you sleep alone.

                                            >Fucking herd mentality....

                                            >"Time to wake up, Anon."

                                            >Oh, who's this?

                                            >Something soft and silky tickles your ear.

                                            >You NOPE and open your eyes.

                                            >....Nobody is there.

                                            >NoPONY, rather.

                                            >You hear a chuckle from down by your groin.

                                            >"I'm down here, silly!"

                                            >You do what the voice says and....

                                            >Your blanket has a face on it.

                                            >Like, not just sewn on or something, but an actual three-dimensional face.

                                            >A pony face, specifically.

                                            >One of the corners of your pony-blanket comes up and caresses your cheek.

                                            >"Good morning, love."

                                            >Why is this happening?

                                            >Your blanket wasn't like this when you went to bed.

                                            >You try to sit up, but only succeed in rolling off of your pillow.

                                            >You're all wrapped up!

                                            >>"Aww, why did you make him go?"

                                            >A fluffy shuffling comes from behind you, and your goddamn PILLOW crawls onto your head and licks your ear.

                                            >Fuck your life and everything about it.


                                            >You are Anon and you're sitting on your couch eating breakfast.

                                            >You've got blanketwaifu wrapped around your shoulders, and pillowaifu on your lap nuzzling your crotch.

                                            "So, what's the deal with you two?"

                                            >You'd remained quiet this entire time. This shit was too raw to deal with before coffee and cereal.

                                            >Blanket: "What do you mean, dearest? There is no 'deal' with us. I keep you warm at night..."

                                            >You watch as a corner of Blanketwaifu nudges Pillowaifu.

                                            >Pillow: "...And I keep your head comfy and ready for good dreams."

                                            >Aww.

                                            >That's almost cute.

                                            "No, look.... Why are you suddenly alive? God knows you weren't like this last night."

                                            >Pillowaifu laughs at you.

                                            >Pillow: "Honey, stop being so silly. Now, I know you're usually kind of tired in the mornings; why don't you lay your head on me and take a nap?"

                                            >Blanketwaifu joins in on the teasing.

                                            >Blanket: "Mmmm, let me wrap around you, Anon. I know just how to make you warm."

                                            >L-lewd.

                                            >After a few more minutes of increasingly dirty talk, you concede and have a hap on your couch.

                                            >You wake up to Blanketwaifu grinding your crotch, and Pillowaifu sniffing your hair.

                                            >These fucking waifus.


                                            >You're eating breakfast when it happens.

                                            >"Mmmph lmvvph ynrnn cckkckkk"

                                            >You're sorry, what?

                                            >That's when you feel something tickle your balls.

                                            >Understandably surprised, you stand up and rip your pants off.

                                            >Thankfully, your pants remain silent.

                                            >You think you've reached waifu critical mass.

                                            >Looking down (up?) at you is a ponyface on your boxers.

                                            >She's got a sultry look in her eyes, and your cock is poking out of her mouth.

                                            >.......Oh.

                                            >Okay, that makes sense.

                                            >Her mouth is exactly where that cock-slit on the front of your underwear is.

                                            >Boxerwaifu is blushing something fierce as she tries to reverse-blowjob you.

                                            >With a wet slurp, she sucks your dick back into the strangely warm and furry confines of your underwear.

                                            >Boxer: "You don't wash me often enough."

                                            >She licks her "lips".

                                            >Boxer: "I love that."


                                            >You walk back into your living room, ready to confront your pillow and your blanket.

                                            >They're probably in on this bullshit right here.

                                            >Even for horseland this shit is weird.

                                            >Pillowaifu: "Are you okay, Anon? We heard some positively lewd noises. Why didn't you come for us?"

                                            >Boxerwaifu: "He nearly did."

                                            >Pillowaifu: "Boxers! Blanket, wake up! It's Boxers!"

                                            >These assholes know each other?

                                            >Blanketwaifu squeals with delight and waves you over with a corner of herself.

                                            >Blanketwaifu: "Anon! Quick, sit on Pillow's face! Let's get a group hug!"

                                            >You reluctantly obey your Blanketwaifu's orders and sit down on your couch on top of Pillowaifu.

                                            >Blanketwaifu wraps around your groin, and you're left with a weird pillow-diaper that can talk.

                                            >You can feel some grinding in your crotch, and you aren't sure who's doing what, or if it's on purpose.

                                            >Probably is.

                                            >Why do you have such strange waifus?