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"No."
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>"Oh, c'mon! Please?"
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"Absolutely not.
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>"Why not? All she needs is a push for her to get on track again."
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"Because she terrifies me, Celestia."
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>You uncross your arms and look behind you; just in case you-know-who was there.
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"There were... THINGS... that you could do to a male a thousand years ago, okay? And she wants to do ALL of them."
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>The white alicorn scrunches her face up in concentration, seemingly trying to remember exactly what THINGS you were talking about.
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>"I... can't really recall what 'things' you mean."
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>Bullshit.
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>She's in on this, isn't she?!
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"You were alive when that shit was going down, Celestia!"
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>Celestia's eyebrows shoot up challengingly.
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>"I don't have a perfect memory, Anonymous. I was born a mortal and ascended to an alicorn, you know; my mind isn't built to hold unlimited experiences."
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>Huh.
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"For real?"
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>Celestia nods.
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>You're going to have to remember that for later.
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"I'm talking about claiming a husband, Celestia. Legally and PHYSICALLY. She wants a husb-"
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>"Oh, Old Ones!"
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>Celestia's white face turns a bit green her eyes widen in both horror and remembrance.
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>"Don't tell me she tried to mark you, did she?"
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>You take an unconscious step closer to the friendly pony as you remember the sight of Luna heating up her branding iron.
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"She did, but I got away before she noticed me."
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>"Oh, you poor thing..."
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>Celestia pulls you into a hug and you cling to her for comfort.
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>"You don't have to worry about that, any more, okay? When did she do this?"
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>She separates and conjures a stuffed pony doll out of thin air and presented it to you.
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>"Where did the bad mare touch you?"
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>You sniffle.
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"Everywhere."
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>As you go back in for a hug, the doors behind you burst open and the sound of sprinting hooves fill the air.
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>Acting purely on instinct, you remove yourself from Celestia's embrace, wrap an arm around her neck, and use that as leverage to jump onto her back.
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"Home free! Home free! I'm on her back and that means you can't touch me!"
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>The new pony in the room (who obviously turns out to be Luna) knickers in disappointment and lowers her red-hot branding iron.
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>You almost feel sorry for her as she dejectedly walks out of the room, head down and ears floppy.
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>Those feelings last about as long as it takes for her to turn back and address you.
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>>"Thy cannot run from us forever, Fair Anonymous. There shalt be a day where thine guard is down and mine sister is naught to be seen. On that day thou shalt be mine husband and thy hoof-spiders shall be put to use on the Royal Tummy-Tum-Tums."
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>Her departing words given, Luna disappears.
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>You are left clinging to Celestia with your face buried in her mane.
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>Celestia turns and walks away with a word.
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>You spend the rest of the day making Day Court difficult for Celestia to accomplish with your presence on her back.
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>Today was a "you accidentally terror-peed on Celestia's back" kind of day.
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon