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[rgre] just this thing i don't even know

By AnalPlugAnon
Created: 2020-12-25 20:41:26
Expiry: Never

  1. 1.
    just this thing i didn't bin way back whenever
  2. 2.
    -------------------------------------
  3. 3.
     
  4. 4.
    >You are Anon
  5. 5.
    >You woke up in the woods a few days ago and managed to wander into a village.
  6. 6.
    >Thing is, the village is full of horses.
  7. 7.
    >Tiny, unnaturally-coloured horses.
  8. 8.
    >You thought it was cute at first; somebody had set up a big ol' mock village for their pets to play in.
  9. 9.
    >That was until the horses stopped acting like horses and started acting like intelligent creatures.
  10. 10.
    >They whinneyed and knickered at each other as though they actually understood - like they had a spoken language.
  11. 11.
    >Two days ago, you were convinced that you were hallucinating.
  12. 12.
    >Yesterday, you were pretty sure that you were in a coma instead and this was all a dream.
  13. 13.
    >Today, after two days of sleeping on the hard ground, you are willing to accept that this might actually be real.
  14. 14.
    >You are Anon, and you are currently trying to sell your shirt.
  15. 15.
    "C'mon, who wants it?"
  16. 16.
    >You wave your shirt around, trying to gather attention.
  17. 17.
    "It's a really nice shirt, everybody. I bought it on sale at Walmart for ten dollars."
  18. 18.
    >A couple of horses stop to look at you, but most of them turn around and just walk away.
  19. 19.
    >........
  20. 20.
    >.....horses don't wear clothes.
  21. 21.
    >Fuck.
  22. 22.
    >This is the worst.
  23. 23.
    >"Whiiiirrrhrhhuhruhuh!"
  24. 24.
    >A horse noise captures your attention.
  25. 25.
    >Six horses stand before you, each standing next to each other in a line.
  26. 26.
    >You got a white horn-horse, a purple horn-horse, a blue wing-horse, a yellow wing-horse, an orange horse-horse, and a pink horse-horse.
  27. 27.
    >Do THESE horses want the shirt?
  28. 28.
    >Do horses eat shirts, or is that goats?
  29. 29.
    >Fuck it, they're close enough.
  30. 30.
    >Maybe purple horses with horns eat shirts.
  31. 31.
     
  32. 32.
    >You give your shirt a nice wave and hold it out by the shoulders, giving each of these potential customers a look at what you got to sell.
  33. 33.
    "It's plaid. A nice red plaid. You see these buttons?"
  34. 34.
    >You grab your shirt by the collar with one hand and fiddle around with the buttons on front with the other.
  35. 35.
    "Real plastic. You guys eat plastic, right?"
  36. 36.
    >God, you feel weak.
  37. 37.
    >You ate a bunch of plants and leaves, but they don't seem to be doing too much in ways of nutrition.
  38. 38.
    >You can't really focus that well, and you aren't 100% sure of what you're saying right now.
  39. 39.
     
  40. 40.
    >The white horn-horse breaks formation and walks closer to inspect your goods, despite all the other horses neighing and stomping their hooves at her.
  41. 41.
    >It?
  42. 42.
    >Her.
  43. 43.
    >Yeah, you can see EVERYTHING on these horses.
  44. 44.
    >It's been a long 3 days, so you had nothing better to do than look at horse pussy.
  45. 45.
    >You're reasonably sure you have a handle on horse biology; the females are more circular and the males tend to be a bit more boxy.
  46. 46.
    >Quicker than your tired-ass brain can respond to, the white horn-horse horn-glows your shirt right out of your hands and brings it close to her face to inspect it.
  47. 47.
    >Finally, a sale!
  48. 48.
    >.....
  49. 49.
    >Wait, fuck.
  50. 50.
    >What do these horses use as currency?
  51. 51.
    >Do they even HAVE currency?
  52. 52.
    >Fuck's sake. You just gave away your shirt for free, didn't you?
  53. 53.
    >This shit's the worst.
  54. 54.
    >The orange horse walks up to the white horse and makes quiet horse noises at her.
  55. 55.
    >The white horse's ears go all floppy and she hands the shirt back to you.
  56. 56.
    >Fuck!
  57. 57.
    >You really thought you had something there.
  58. 58.
    >Goddammit.
  59. 59.
    >The six horses all form a circle and make a bunch of horse noises at each other, occasionally poking their heads up to look at you.
  60. 60.
    >The blue one starts staring, so you wave at her; she immediately pulls her head back into the circle of horses.
  61. 61.
    >It's just a few seconds longer until they break away and walk over to you.
  62. 62.
    >They all stop about three feet away from you, except for one.
  63. 63.
     
  64. 64.
    >The blue one you waved at trots smartly over to you and does that weird horse-laugh where they pull back their lips and bear their teeth.
  65. 65.
    >After that, she bats at your chest with a blue hoof.
  66. 66.
    >She doesn't stop.
  67. 67.
    >Why is she rubbing you?
  68. 68.
    >Half-delirious, you decide that the best course of action is to pull the blue horse into your lap and hug her.
  69. 69.
    >Fuuuuuuck, she's soft.
  70. 70.
    >All that not food you were eating suddenly catches up to you, and you pitch sideways and fall unconscious.
  71. 71.
     
  72. 72.
    >You are Twilight, and you are shaking your head at this pitiful display.
  73. 73.
    >You'd received word about a strange minotaur in town, but you didn't think it sounded too dangerous.
  74. 74.
    >Just an hour ago, a bunch of concerned ponies informed you that the minotaur was a prostitute, and you decided to investigate.
  75. 75.
    >This town is too nice to have prostitutes!
  76. 76.
    >Ponyville has a poor enough reputation as it is thanks to all those disasters that strike (some of which you may or may not have a hoof in on)
  77. 77.
    >What you saw nearly broke your heart.
  78. 78.
    >The creature, eyes glazed over, was sitting in the middle of town, flaunting his body for everypony to see.
  79. 79.
    >He was clothed from head to foot except for the torso-cloth he was waving around - trying to drum up business, you guess.
  80. 80.
    >What a poor state he was in.
  81. 81.
    >The first thing he did when he saw the Elements of Harmony was to show off his lingerie.
  82. 82.
    >But you know what to do.
  83. 83.
    >You'll take him home, give him a bath, cook him a nice meal, and let him sleep in your bed!
  84. 84.
    >Rainbow laughed at you when you said all that and called you a dyke.
  85. 85.
    >In the end, Rainbow Dash offered him bits for his service and he gladly accepted.
  86. 86.
    >Belly-to-belly rutting?
  87. 87.
    >2lewd4you.
  88. 88.
    >You all walked away to give them a bit of privacy.
  89. 89.
     
  90. 90.
    And then they fucked.
  91. 91.
    End.

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