[RGRE] Anon doesn't think ponies go into heat


                                            >"No, Anon, seriously."

                                            >Twilight levels a somber stare your way.

                                            >"We're not kidding around, here.  I have several dozen books on the subject of a mare's estrus cycle in my library, and I can get them for you right now.  I'm not making any of this up."

                                            >Rarity steps forward, looking sympathetic and vaguely condescending.

                                            >>"Anonymous, darling, can't you see we only want what's best for you?" she simpers, "I understand that you are emotionally distraught.  You're far away from home - a poor colt all by his lonesome.  It's natural that you'd act out and try to rebel against a group of big, scary mares telling you what to do and how to live your life."

                                            >You cross your arms and frown at the white mare.

                                            >Yeesh.

                                            >Rarity is actually the master of being able to say anything and make it backhanded.

                                            >>"But when estrus hits... mares just can't control themselves.  A fine young stallion such as yourself wandering around would be like dangling meat in front of a timberwolf."

                                            >Her face begins to turn a little bit pink, and her eyes dart down towards your crotch a couple of times.

                                            >>"Can you imagine it?  You would be walking around town in the open, a soft breeze carrying your masculine scent over the air for miles.  Clothes that are loose and flutter in the wind, teasing us hard-working mares with glimpses of bare flesh that promise so much."

                                            "Uh..."

                                            >Rarity bites her lip and eyes up your shoes.

                                            >Her face is redder now.

                                            >>"Pant legs that ride high and show off s-socks worn brazenly for all to see!  And every step you take, that deliciously plump bulge in your pants jiggles, sealed away tight behind layers of clothing, and it's all I can to not to tackle you to the ground and ravish you right here and now."

                                            >Rarity's face is bright red, all the way up to the tips of her ears.

                                            >She's panting, and her eyes are locked on your groin.

                                            >Twilight and her other friends are all giving her awed, surprised stares.

                                            "R-Rarity?"

                                            >>"A button and a zipper, teasing me with easy access, so close at hoof!  Buttons on your shirt that would allow me to RIP it off of you and pepper every inch of your torso with kisses as I get drunk on little droplets of sweat!  I-"

                                            >SMACK!

                                            >Rarity face-plants as a very unimpressed Applejack smacks her upside the head.

                                            >>>"That's 'nuff of you now, Rarity," she drawls, placing herself between you and the white mare, "I don't think 'Non here is very comfortable with a mare droolin' all over him like he was a hot slice of apple pie and a spoonful of ice cream."

                                            >Applejack glances over her shoulder at you, looking sympathetic.

                                            >>>"Y'all alright, sugarcube?  I'm right sorry 'bout my friend, here.  She tends to get hit by her estrus cycle a few days early, and I guess we had a bit of bad timing."

                                            >An easy, lazy smiles spreads across Applejack's face as she fully turns around to face you.

                                            >>>"Yer free to stay down at my farm if'fin it pleases you, 'Non.  We're off the beaten trail, and it's not likely you'll find any mares snooping 'round while we all ride our heat out.  I promise not to make you do anything y'all ain't comfortable with."

                                            >Her grin turns slightly lecherous.

                                            >>>"You seem like decent folk, 'Non.  I don't think Granny or Bloomy would mind your presence, 'specially since we done sent Mac out to stay at Uncle Orange's fer the week.  And unlike SOME ponies, I have control over my urges; frankly, I don't intend to have any sorta 'roll in the hay' 'less I intend to propose."

                                            >Applejack pats you on the knee.

                                            >>>"Yer safe with me, Sugarcube."

                                            >"Anon, please be reasonable!" Twilight pleads, "We're just-"

                                            >Hold up.

                                            "Aren't you gonna see if Rarity is alright?"

                                            >Twilight just rolls her eyes.

                                            >"She's a mare, Anon; she's tough.  Now c'mon - quit being stubborn.  I know colts are emotional creatures, but try to look at this logically.  We all just want to help you, and the safest place is out of town, where the rest of the stallions are."

                                            >Twilight magically dangles a train ticket in front of you.

                                            >"Now be a good colt and take this ticket so that you can gossip with your friends and... and do each other's manes, or whatever it is that stallions do when they hang out.

                                            >Oh, this little nigger can go fuck herself.

                                            >All this condescending bullshit - you're sick of it!

                                            >From day one, nobody here takes you seriously!

                                            >"Go make me a sandwich, Anonymous!"

                                            >"Building a fence is mare's work, Anon; why don't you find a mare with a hammer for a cutie mark and flash your dick at her?"

                                            >"You want a job, Anonymous?  Well, crawl between my legs; I've got a job for you right here."

                                            >FUCK THIS

                                            >You'll do what YOU want to do, and go hang out with the only friend who has faith in you!

                                            >Because at the end of the day, this entire thing is dumb.

                                            >How could a society advance to where it is today if they go into heat like an animal?

                                            >You believed them when they told you that rolling around in your dirty laundry was just them trying to make it so that your clothes (now with pony fur) had enough contact with a mare's magical center that it formed a shield around you and protected your non-magical self from a very magical world.

                                            >You even believed them when they told you that it's common for mares in this culture to say 'hello' by mashing their face into your crotch and shaking their heads left and right while making motor-boat noises with their lips.

                                            >But you are no man's fool.

                                            >Not today.

                                            >You've been BULLSHITTED before, but no longer!

                                            >In fact, you bet if you take that ticket and get on a train, you'll find Pinkie Pie in one of the carriages, throwing a "sorry you believe everything you're told" party!

                                            >FUCK THAT.

                                            >You'll go with Applejack to her farm and SHOW THEM that you're no gullible idiot!

                                            ---

                                            >You are Anon, and it is about 9 hours later.

                                            >It's the middle of the night, you're nude, and you've got a horse sitting in your lap.

                                            >It's the very same horse who promised you that she wouldn't do anything l-lewd to you.

                                            "Y-You said you wouldn't force me to do anything!"

                                            >"I didn't force you t'do nothin'!  Yer a strong feller, 'Non; I bet you could throw me off if we wrassled!  It's been a heck of a long time since I done wrassled with a creature of the male persuasion, but I promise it would be fun for the both of us."

                                            "You told me you had more control over yourself than Rarity!"

                                            >"That's true too.  I thought to myself, 'Applejack, you have on yer hooves a tall mug of cider.  You should do something about that.' and wouldn't you know?  I sure as applesauce agreed to that notion.  There ain't no 'internal struggle' round these parts."

                                            "This is bullshit!  You told me that even IF this 'heat' thing was real, you didn't intend to sleep with a colt who wasn't in a position to marry you!"

                                            >"Well, you males are harder to lure to bed than sheep to sheers.  Granny'd buck my apples if I didn't make sure you were 'comfortable' with the arrangement - and then she'd buck'em a second time just fer good measure.  I meant every promise I done said; if'fin you'll have me, I'd be happier than a pig in mud to see you share my barn-name."

                                            >Applejack winks at you and grinds her crotch against yours.

                                            >"Honesty is my game, 'Non, and I ain't lied to you once.  Ain't my fault you colts always take things to mean what y'want them to mean."

                                            >She leans down close until your faces are only inches apart.

                                            >You can feel her hot, moist breath on your lips as you stay there, exchanging air.

                                            >"Hmmm... call me a sap, but I always preferred exchanging breath to kissin'.  Buuuut... I done have a mighty strong curiosity 'bout whether or not your tongue is a tasty as it looks."

                                            >...

                                            >Well, shit.

                                            >You guess these guys really DO go into heat.