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1235 6.86 KB 104
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>>>34656507
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>You are Anon.
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>Tonight is your weekly meet-up night with Twilight.
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>It started off, months ago, with you agreeing to let her ask you questions about Earth.
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>Sciences, or at least the stuff you studied.
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>How your body worked... or at least what you learned when you went on wikipedia at 3 in the morning.
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>Society and culture, which you knew a lot about.
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>Or, knew very little about.
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>You had many opinions about it, anyway, like any good shitposter.
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>And papAnon raised a good shitposter.
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>Her questions started out with "So tell me about your life".
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>Her questions started turning into "So how do you feel about things here, considering your perspective".
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>Her questions finally - and most recently - became "So what sort of books do you like".
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>You've even heard her mix in a little bit of "So what are you doing Friday night" for flavour.
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>Twilight started off as a distant, distracted researcher who was interested in what you had to offer.
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>Now, she's a confidant, and she's a friend.
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>A good friend.
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>She's also a huge nerdy goober, too.
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>She'll get so excited over little things that interest her, and her excitement is infectious.
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>When she gets worked up over something, you can't help but feel pumped up too.
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>And right now, she's in your living-room.
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>She brought over her projector, and she's setting up an old-fashioned film as we speak.
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>It's only old-fashioned to you, of course - this is ground-breaking cutting-edge technology for Equestria.
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>She was confused when you giggled as she broke out the big fat film reel, and you guess you'll cover movie technology next week.
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>But right now, you're in the kitchen.
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>And you're stalling for time.
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>You're staring into your cupboards right now.
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>Deep in the back corner, behind the plates and behind the glasses.
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>Hidden beneath a stack of fancy napkins you never use.
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>It's the last of your Earth popcorn.
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>The type you cook over a stove top.
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>You like Twilight.
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>You want to share this bit of Earth culture with her, and share something with her that you have fond memories of.
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>Like your childhood favourite: popcorn.
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>You can still remember your dad cooking it whenever you and your brother watched a movie with him.
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>He didn't want you making popcorn by yourself, since you were young.
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>Not even microwave popcorn.
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>He said it would get too hot, and the steam that came out of the bag would burn you.
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>And to be fair, he was right; it took you a long time to learn the life lesson of "hot things are hot".
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>Anyway, back to the present.
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>You want to share this popcorn with Twilight, but this is the last physical piece of proof that you once lived on Earth.
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>Back home.
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>And if you were to cook this up now...
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>...eat it...
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>...and throw away the package, that would be like saying goodbye.
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>And you don't know if you're ready for that.
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>You know you aren't going back home, but it still feels like you're just a tourist on an extended stay in some foreign country.
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>You sleep in this building, sure, but it's just some place.
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>It's not where your heart is.
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>A sad smile spreads across your face as you glance at the brand name.
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>Your dad LOVED this one specific brand of stove top popcorn, and he got so angry when the company that made it discontinued it.
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>There are probably letters in some forgotten filing cabinet in an abandoned office building that your dad wrote, angrily demanding that they bring the popcorn back.
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>But with the advent of the internet, you found a place that sold this stuff.
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>The company was based in another country, and they still sold'em there, so you bought a bunch.
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>It arrived by mail, and you and your dad shared a bowl of it a few days before he passed away.
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>That had been the happiest you'd seen him in a long time, and you're not ashamed to say that you cried when the two of you ate it together.
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>So it's not just saying goodbye to home, it's also saying goodbye to your dad.
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>...again.
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>You nudge a napkin out of the way, and eye up the package out of a sense of nostalgia that these thoughts of your dad brought on.
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>It's just like you remembered it.
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>It's salted, unlike most popcorn here in Equestria.
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>Salt does funny things to ponies when ingested in large amounts.
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>Gets them silly, and full of energy.
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>It's a weird mixture of being drunk and being high, and it's different for every pony race.
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>Salt is required for healthy function, of course, but ponies need much less than a human does.
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>Luckily, you have a source for your stash - you NEED one if you want to stay healthy.
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>Don't... don't worry about where you get your salt.
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>It's not important.
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>What IS important is that you're sure you know how Twilight will react to this stuff.
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>She'll be all nervous, like you're talking her into agreeing to do ecstasy with you.
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>After all, this sort of IS pony-drugs.
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>Then, she'll make sure all the doors are locked and the windows are covered up.
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>Next, she'll demand that you never tell anypony, which you'll agree to.
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>Finally, she'll eat too much, crawl all over you, and fall asleep for 10 hours.
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>You've seen unicorns do it.
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>There's a reason Rarity still won't look you in the eye when you pass her on the street.
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>Your sad smile turns into an amused smirk, and you find yourself almost actually wanting to do this.
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>You'd kill to see how cute Twilight would get once she gets affected by the salt.
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>"Anon! Anon, I've got the projector hooked up! The movie's ready whenever you are!"
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>You shout over your shoulder, still standing in front of your secret hiding place.
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"Oh yeah?"
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>"Yeah! It's a scary movie, so you... it's okay if you need to snuggle up with me, okay?"
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>Tempting.
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>You've seen that tuft before, and Twilight was awful flighty about letting you touch it in the past.
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>"A-And maybe it'll help you calm down if we read together! I brought over my book bag with the latest installment of Daring Doo[spoiler]uche[/spoiler] in it!"
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>...
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>What a fucking goober.
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>You know what?
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>Maybe it's time that you started considering this place home.
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>You know you aren't going back to Earth, and you have ponies here that you truthfully consider your friends.
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>And you even have one purple nerd you consider your BEST friend.
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>Maybe even more, if you're being honest.
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>You can still keep your dad alive in your heart, even when you say goodbye.
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>You reach into the cupboard (and have a momentary heart attack when you knock over all your glasses, which honestly almost ruined the moment for you) and grab the last container of popcorn.
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"Just a second, Twi! I'm gonna make a treat for you us to eat real quick!"
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>"Oh, neat! What is it?"
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>It's something very special to you.
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"I found some popcorn from back home underneath some napkins, Twi. You want some?"
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>There's the sound of something metallic falling down, and then silence.
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>"Is... that's the salted stuff, right?"
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"Yup."
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>More silence.
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>"L-Lemme just make sure the windows are covered, okay? Oh, this is so exciting!"
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>Nailed it.
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon
by AnalPlugAnon