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Bird Pone Thread (Complete)

By Bluebirdd065
Created: 2021-01-04 20:42:25
Expiry: Never
anonocslice of lifensfwretarded

  1. >Be anon
  2. >Pimpest motha fucka on the block
  3. >Six bitches on yo dick, all eating and chatting over a picnic
  4. >Meanwhile, you're awkwardly sitting down, just listening to them all talk
  5. >You don't bother to eat the horrifying daisy sandwich laid before you
  6. >And you don't bother to remind Fluttershit for the 50th fucking time that you don't eat plants
  7. >So you just sit, listen, and take little nibbles of the bread's crust
  8. >When suddenly, a wild Pegasus appears!
  9. >She walks up to you and smiles, eyeing your sandwich
  10. >"Coo coo~ are you gonna eat that?"
  11. >Did... did this pony just coo?
  12. >She steps back a little bit, unnerved by your now curious nature
  13. >Her wings flap lightly, and she tilts her head
  14. >Dear god, she has pigeon colors
  15. >Cute brown eyes
  16. >Striped wings
  17. >Grey body, which is darker neck and upwards
  18. >Simple charcoal colored mane
  19. >There's no way this is even possible
  20. "Um, I'm sorry, but, are you some kind of... birdpony?"
  21. >She smiles
  22. >"I'm a crossbreed! Dad was a griffon, mom was a pony! Got these colors from my father!"
  23. >She lightly flaps her wings a bit and giggles
  24. >Fuck that was cute
  25. >She gives a quick glance at your sandwich
  26. >"S-sooo, were you, uh, were you gonna eat that? Haven't had any food for quite a while..."
  27. >You look back at your sandwich and noticed that all of the mane six are just, staring at you
  28. >Twilight eyes the sandwich and shakes her head slowly
  29. >What a bitch
  30. >You hold the sandwich out to the pony and she snaps at it
  31. >"Fenks!"
  32. "You're welcome, Ms...?"
  33. >"Peeth! Thus call me Peeth!"
  34. >Okay, pretty sure she said Peep.
  35. >Pretty sure
  36. "You're welcome, Peep."
  37. >She nods and tries smiling, then thanks you again
  38. >Then she flies off
  39. >You keep smiling as you watch the pony fly away
  40. >Then turn back to see the six all glaring at you
  41. "Uh, did... did I do something wrong?"
  42.  
  43. >"Anon," Twilight speaks up first. "Do you know what that was?"
  44. >You sit and think for a moment
  45. "Um... Is this a trick question?"
  46. >"-It was a feathering crossbreed!" Dash just fucking blurts out
  47. >You kind of look around, hoping for some giant signs or some shit to tell you what she means by that
  48. "Well, yeah... So?"
  49. >Everybody gasps like you just ripped Winona in half right in front of them
  50. >"Anon, crossbreeding is the WORST taboo in all of Equestria! They're seriously frowned upon here!"
  51. >You look around again
  52. >Is there something you're missing here?
  53. "Why?"
  54. >More fucking gasps
  55. >Twilight takes a deep breath
  56. >Fuck me, lecture time
  57. >Time to do some eyes-open sleeping
  58. >"Because, Anon, crossbreeding..."
  59. >You idly stare at her mouth moving while your brain finishes some updates
  60. >...Copying some files.
  61. >"Blah blah blah, blah!"
  62. >...Updating, do not turn off your device.
  63. >"FURTHERMORE, BLAH BLAH"
  64. >...Finalizing.
  65. >...
  66. >...
  67. >...
  68. >"And that's why crossbreeding is frowned upon in Equestria! Just THINKING about such a thing is wrong!"
  69. >Wait, wait, hold the fuck up
  70. "Really, so that's why I see you eyeing me whenever I work with my shirt off?
  71. >She goes quiet and blushes
  72. >Damn son, didn't even need to listen to shut her ass up
  73. >But the rest of them are, too
  74. >What the fuck
  75. >You've never even SEEN them over at Carrot Top's farm before
  76. >Jesus Christ, these mares were crazy
  77. >She tries to explain how it's different, but you're too busy ignoring her again
  78. >Soon enough, it's getting dark, and the picnic comes to a close, everyone thinking you actually learned something new today
  79. >But learning is for losers
  80. >You start the walk back to your generously donated, Celestia approved house
  81. >But you notice something wrong with it
  82. >Particularly on the roof
  83. >You walk closer to it and squint, the now dark sky making it difficult to see shit
  84. >Is- is that a fucking nest?
  85. >On your roof?
  86. >Brown eyes peek over and stare at you
  87. >"Oh. Um, hi again."
  88. >She smiles
  89.  
  90. "Uh, Peep? What are you doing on my roof?"
  91. >She digs at the mixed shit making up your roof, looking down
  92. >"I-I didn't know this was your house, actually."
  93. >You turn around and look at all the other homes around you, then back to Peep
  94. "Okay, and WHY did it have to be on the roof?"
  95. >To be honest, the crap they made roofs out of didn't look very solid at all
  96. >You even notice the small indent she made just lying there
  97. >"Well, I..."
  98. >She straightens herself
  99. >"I know I'm not exactly welcomed here. I only flew here because I haven't finished migrating, and needed a rest. This house was the farthest from all the others."
  100. >You look back at the huge gaping distance between your house and everyone else's
  101. >Wow, you were even more of an outcast than you thought
  102. >"Please, I promise I'll leave first thing in the morning. I'm just asking to stay the night up here."
  103. >You don't notice her slight shivering as you think about it in your warm black suit
  104. >You soulless prick
  105. "Well, I guess one night can't hurt. As long as you don't cave the roof in or anything," I laughed
  106. >She awkwardly laughed back
  107. >Damn, you WERE an outcast
  108. >"Thank you, Mr...?"
  109. "Anonymous. Just call me Anon."
  110. >She smiles
  111. >"Thank you, Anon. I'll be quiet as a mouse up here."
  112. >You return the smile and head into your lovely home, which was still messy and horrible like always
  113. >Ponies still only saw your meat-eating teeth when talking to you
  114. >You sigh and walk into your bedroom and take your suit off
  115. >Then slip into a pajama suit
  116. >You get under the covers and give a relieved smile, suddenly choosing now to think about how much shit Peep will probably leave behind on your house
  117. >Fuck you brain, just sleep
  118. >Shutting down...
  119. >...
  120. >Your eyes jolt open as you hear rustling nearby
  121. >You look around a bit before hearing it a bit louder
  122. >Then you're assaulted by hay and leaves and straw shit in your mouth
  123. >Rusting and crashing everywhere, then you see the night sky sitting above you
  124. >The fucking roof caved in
  125.  
  126. >Peep just took down your entire fucking roof with her fat ass
  127. >Damn, you had a feeling something like this would happen
  128. >But not exactly this
  129. >A little ways from here, you see Peep's eyes trailing around the place
  130. >Then stop on you
  131. >You do not look fucking happy
  132. >"Eheheh... um, sorry Anon."
  133. "So, quiet as a mouse, huh?" YOU deadpan
  134. >Must be one fat fucking mouse
  135. >She turns from you and rubs the back of her neck
  136. >Goddamn it, how can you stay mad at that?
  137. >You look up again at the sky
  138. >Oh, that's fucking how
  139. >You groan and finally get up from your bed, pushing shit everywhere onto the floor
  140. >You move up to your living room and-
  141. >-Oh god, oh, dear god no
  142. >This can't be happening
  143. >Your TV
  144. >YOUR. FUCKING. TV.
  145. >ALL BROKEN AND FUCKED ON THE FLOOR
  146. >I mean, there hasn't been any power to turn it on since you got here
  147. >BUT YOUR FUCKING TV
  148. >Okay, just calm down Anon
  149. >Just do that shit that Twilight does
  150. >You start taking deep breaths and throwing your hand from your chest
  151. >IT'S NOT HELPING
  152. >"M-maybe I could h-help you fix it?" Peep asks
  153. >You look at your TV, screen shattered and popping out
  154. >Your eye twitches
  155.  
  156. "Peep, I'm either about to have a shit fit, or start crying my eyes out. If you value your life, I'd suggest you leave. NOW."
  157. >She seems a bit hurt, but flies out of the roof nonetheless
  158. >You didn't care if she was hurt at the moment
  159. >YOU were hurt
  160. >And so was your beautiful 72 inch
  161. >You start kicking around the pieces of roof and flinging it everywhere
  162. "MOTHER. FUCKING. ROOF!"
  163. >You flip and throw some stuff into your mouth, crunching wildly in pure, unrelenting anger
  164. >It tastes like dog shit
  165. >You gag and break down crying
  166. >You lay down and curl beside your beloved 70 inch child
  167. >Peep slowly flies back into the house and looks at you with sad eyes
  168. >"I'm real sorry about all of this, Anon. I'll-"
  169. >Her fat ass bumps into a vase and knocks it over
  170. >Joey, your pet Venus fly trap, is now sitting on the floor, covered in its own soil and dying
  171. "Try losing some weight," you softly cry
  172. >Peep can't hear you, she's too busy trying to scoop up Joey while she apologizes constantly
  173. >"I'm so sorry! I'll make it up to you!"
  174. >She grabs the plant and tries running to your kitchen sink
  175. >But instead, trips on your coffee table and lands on her face
  176. >You think for a second if you should help
  177. >You clutch your TV
  178. >Then you hear her sobbing
  179. >The tides turn almost instantly, and now you feel like a dick for not doing anything
  180. >Sure, Peep here couldn't give you 4K ultra HD
  181. >But dammit, she just fell on her face trying to save your fucking plant
  182. >You get up and walk to her
  183. >She has her face buried in the soil while Joey clings onto her hair
  184. >She turns to you, tears everywhere
  185. >"I'm sorry I ruined your house. I know I'm just, just a clumsy f-fool."
  186. >You forgot to add fat
  187. >Shut the fuck up brain, you dick
  188. >Well, it is kinda true
  189. >Regardless, you kick it into 'comforting friend' mode
  190. "You're not clumsy, Peep. This was all just a horrible coincidence."
  191. >One that costed your 2,000 fucking dollar TV
  192. >She slowly looks at you
  193. >Then, you feel a few drops on your head
  194. >It starts raining
  195.  
  196. >Wait, it's raining
  197. >IN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE
  198. >You turn to your TV, seeing it being pelted by droplets
  199. >It was like watching someone murder a kitten in front of your damn face
  200. >He's dead, Jim
  201. >Okay, you've got more important things to think about here, Anon
  202. >Like where the hell are you going to go when the rain picks up?
  203. >Then, the rain starts picking up
  204. >Goddamn it
  205. >Peep looks up at you, starting to get soaked
  206. >"I'm so sorry about-"
  207. "It's fine, Peep. I've already forgiven you."
  208. >The fuckers that built your home though
  209. >That's another story
  210. >Same for the damn weather team
  211. >"C-can we get out of this rain? I'm getting cold..."
  212. >Oh, right, warm suit
  213. >You, being the nice guy, take your coat off and give it to her
  214. >But it's still raining
  215. >You fall into an intense thinking session before Peep nudges your arm
  216. >"Why don't we stay in there?"
  217. >She points at the closet
  218. >Well shit
  219. >Before you can think about it some more, the weather team takes a monstrous shit on your face and picks the rain up again
  220. >Next thing you know, you're stuck in a closet with Peep, both soaking wet, cold and tired
  221. >You sit on one end, and her the other
  222. >Peep is taking more space on account of her fat ass
  223. >Fucking seriously
  224. >Like, everything could've been avoided had she just laid off the sandwiches
  225. >You get a quick mental image and clear your mind
  226. >If the circumstances weren't a bit awkward enough, your little friend showing up would just make shit worse
  227. >While you're staring off into the void, you notice the sad look she's giving
  228. >"...I'm, I'm sor-"
  229. "You have to keep on apologizing, you know. I told you, I forgive you."
  230. >She starts crying again
  231. >You stay quiet as to not spill any spaghetti
  232. >"I'm sorry, it's just, y-you're the nicest pony I've ever met, and I just destroyed y-your home..."
  233. >She starts crying and shivering from the cold simultaneously
  234. >You reach your arms out for a nice little hug
  235. >But she practically tackles and starts drenching you in tears and rainwater
  236. >"I'm so so sorry..."
  237.  
  238. >Personal space, holy shit
  239. >She just keeps repeating how sorry she is while clutching you like a damn leech
  240. >She won't quit crying and telling you she's sorry
  241. >Eventually, you notice her voice start to soften and slow
  242. >And the next thing you know, she's asleep
  243. >Right on top of you
  244. >In a very... intimate-looking position
  245. >Luckily, you get your mind focused on other things
  246. >But you can't sleep because of it
  247. >Meanwhile, she's just snoring up a storm
  248. >And drooling
  249. >All over your suit
  250. >Your very expensive, comfortable suit
  251. >I mean, they're pajamas, but-
  252. >-FUCKING. DICK.
  253. >Your suit is still out there, getting rekt by rain on your floor
  254. >You remember kicking it under your bed, though
  255. >Maybe it's safe?
  256. >You completely forget about the fat ass sitting on you and start fearing for your suit
  257. >You don't want to lose anything else
  258. >...
  259. >You don't know how many hours passed
  260. >But the rain stopped
  261. >All the birds are out chirping
  262. >Except for the one on top of you
  263. >She was still knocked the fuck out
  264. >And drooling
  265. >You do some thinking for a little bit, then decide to see the damage
  266. >You slowly open the closet door
  267. >And the water your rug was keeping at bay outside just flies into the closet
  268. >And soaks into your everything
  269. >But Peep isn't even touched by it
  270. >She's too busy still sitting on you
  271. >You don't even bother to voice how pissed off you are right now
  272. >You're too tired
  273. >So instead, you silently assess the damage of your house
  274. >If you can even call it that
  275. >Everything is knocked over and soaked
  276. >There's straw, hay, and all the other weird shit they made your roof with, just floating around everywhere
  277. >Your TV is lying in a huge puddle of rainwater
  278. >And, well, your roof is still fucking missing
  279. >Peep starts stirring and murmuring on account of the sunlight being thrown into her face
  280. >She smiles, then slowly opens her eyes
  281. >She looks at you
  282. >You didn't have a mirror, but if you felt like shit, you were pretty sure you looked like shit
  283. "Sleep well?" you frowned.
  284.  
  285. >She slowly nods, still smiling
  286. >Damn it, you'll never be able to be upset at this birdpony
  287. >Ever.
  288. >She looks at you and your soaking wet everything, then turns to see what WAS your nice house
  289. >Her ears fall and her face takes on another sad look
  290. >Then she takes notice of the position she's in and blushes
  291. >"S-sorry, Anon."
  292. >She gets off of you and keeps herself flying above the water
  293. >Wish YOU had some wings
  294. >You stand up and step out of the closet
  295. >Did Equestria even have fucking insurance?
  296. >Where's your goddamn good neighbor when you need them?
  297. >You sigh as you slump back to your room, Peep following close behind.
  298. >Just as you expected, your suit is drenched to hell
  299. >You also now have a water bed
  300. >What the hell were you supposed to do now?
  301. >Everything you have is essentially destroyed
  302. >You're practically homeless
  303. >All because of one pony...
  304. >No
  305. >Don't go blaming her
  306. >Be a nice guy, Anon
  307. >You look at the spot she was in just a few seconds ago
  308. >Instead of seeing a birdpony, you see your 72 inch TV, smashed and sitting in a puddle of water
  309. >Not fucking helping
  310. >You sigh and walk back into your living room
  311. >Peep's nowhere to be found
  312. >Oh, right
  313. >She said she was leaving in the morning
  314. >Of course she'd leave after pulling shit like this
  315. >Fucking migration
  316. >Still to tired to do much, you flip the cushions of your living room couch and hop on it
  317. >Maybe when you wake up, you'll be transported to Earth
  318. >Heh
  319. >Yeah fucking right
  320.  
  321. >A sweet smell wakes you up
  322. >Did... did you actually get transported back to Earth somehow?
  323. >Maybe these 2 years in Equestria was some long ass coma dream
  324. >And now you get to buy and play the dicks out of Fallout 4
  325. >You open your eyes
  326. >Water everywhere
  327. >Goddammit
  328. >You look to your left and see Peep
  329. >She's smiling and holding a pie
  330. >She drops it beside you on the couch and looks at you
  331. >"I got us some breakfast!"
  332. >You look up and see that it's still really damn early
  333. >Probably only an hour after you laid down
  334. "Uh, Peep? When did you make this?"
  335. >"Oh, I didn't! Some nice folks left it on their windowsill!"
  336. "...The windowsill?"
  337. >"Yeah!"
  338. >Judging by her response, she obviously didn't know she just stole something
  339. >But who were you to tell her that?
  340. >It's free fucking pie, man
  341. >You sit up and see that it's already cut and ready to go
  342. >And it smelled like Sweet Apple Acres property
  343. >...Who fucking cares?
  344. >They'll never think it was you
  345. >You start shoveling that shit into your mouth like a dirty Jew
  346. >Peep does the same
  347. >Then a thought flashes by
  348. "Wait. Peep, why are you still here? I thought you had to continue migrating?"
  349. >She takes one last, tiny bite and looks at you
  350. >"I, I can't just, leave after causing all of this, Anon. I have to make it up to you."
  351. >Wow, and for a while you thought she was just going to nigger out of helping you out
  352. >But here she was, letting you help yourself to a pie you stole
  353. >You bet the Helements of Armory wouldn't steal a fucking pie for you
  354. >Those dicks were wrong
  355. >Who gave a shit if Peep was a crossbreed?
  356. >If anything, the whole pigeon thing is badass
  357. >Even if she only made the sounds once
  358. >Maybe it was some kind of cultural thing
  359. >You didn't even know that crossbreeds were a thing yesterday
  360. >You watch Peep switching between munching and literally pecking at the pie
  361. >It's cute and funny as hell at the same time
  362. >Then out of nowhere, you see your front door fall onto the ground through your peripherals
  363. >It's fucking Twilight
  364.  
  365. >You and Peep stop
  366. >Twilight doesn't know what to look at first
  367. >Her eyes are darting everywhere
  368. >Eventually they stop on Peep
  369. >She turns to me
  370. >"Did you hear NOTHING from my lecture yesterday?!"
  371. "Good morning to you too, Twilight."
  372. >"Good morning?! Do you not SEE what your house looks like?!"
  373. >You look at the ceiling and make the most exaggerated gasp you can
  374. "Oh my GOD! It was fine just a minute ago!"
  375. >"Don't play dumb with me, Anon! I told you that crossbreeds were trouble, and if destroying your HOUSE hasn't shown you that, then I don't know what will!!"
  376. >Wow, of course she immediately blames Peep
  377. >I mean, it kinda WAS her fault anyways, but goddamn, she wasn't there
  378. "Hey, Peep has done nothing wrong here! She even got me a pie!" you point at it
  379. >"Yeah, I KNOW. I was there when she stole it!"
  380. >Oh.
  381. >Well, shit.
  382. >"Crossbreeds just AREN'T welcome here, Anon! They never will be!"
  383. >Peep turns away from Twilight
  384. >In doing so, you see some tears forming in her eyes
  385. >You glare at the purple menace and instinctively reach for Peep
  386. >She pushes your hand with a wing and sniffles
  387. >"N-no, she's right, Anon. I don't know what I was thinking coming here. I've... I've done enough here..."
  388. >She flies off, crying
  389. >You turn to Twilight, wishing you could just blast her with your damn laser eyes already
  390. >"I don't know what you were thinking befriending a crossbreed like that, but you'll find out soon enough that it was for the best..."
  391. "Princess of motherfucking friendship, huh, Twilight?"
  392. >She's taken back a bit
  393. >"You seriously would still call a feathering crossbreed a friend?! After everything I told you?!"
  394. >You start walking towards the door
  395. >Twilight thinks you're gonna bash her face in and steps back out
  396. >You walk past her
  397. >"Wait! Please tell me you're not going after it!"
  398. >It
  399. >What a bitch
  400. >You look at her and glare
  401. "She stole a pie for me. That's what true friendship is about."
  402. >You walk
  403. >...Probably should've thought about your dramatic one liner a bit more
  404.  
  405. >You made a dramatic exit
  406. >But you had no fucking clue where you were going
  407. >You had a general idea, but that was about it
  408. >Twilight didn't know what the hell she was talking about
  409. >And she was supposed to be fucking smart
  410. >You sigh and walk into the only place you'd think she'd be
  411. >That one hill where you had the damn picnic
  412. >Or, the area around it
  413. >Shut the hell up
  414. >You were walking there
  415. >On account of it being morning, there's a few more ponies there than usual
  416. >All old losers, of course
  417. >All the younger ponies had jobs and fulfilling lives
  418. >Okay, that's fucked up, Anon
  419. >You mentally apologize and look mostly at the trees
  420. >You don't see a single sign of her
  421. >Maybe she ditched and just migrated?
  422. >No, she said she was staying
  423. >Then some nearby crying stops you
  424. >"-Just... worthless..."
  425. >You look around
  426. >A nearby tree is slightly shaking
  427. >"It's all I'll ever be..."
  428. >You walk a bit closer
  429. >She doesn't notice you
  430. "...Peep?"
  431. >She stops and turns to you
  432. >She stays quiet
  433. "Can you come down?"
  434. >She looks around for a moment
  435. >She slowly flies over to her
  436. >And you CRUSH THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF HER
  437. >With a hug, of course
  438. >She cries into your shoulder
  439. >"W-why is everypony so mean to me, Anon? What did I do wrong?"
  440. >Your heart snaps in half and shrivels up
  441. >You kick 'comforting friend' mode into hyper drive and brush her hair while you hold tighter
  442. "You haven't done anything wrong. Ponies are just fat, judgmental dicks."
  443. >Wow, you really should've made that more... emotional sounding
  444. >But she got the message
  445. >"I don't ac..." she mumbles
  446. "What was that?"
  447. >"I... I don't actually migrate..."
  448. >You were meaning to ask about that
  449. >As far as you knew, pigeons didn't migrate
  450. >"I've been driven out of every town I've been to for my entire life."
  451. >She manages a small smile
  452. >"You were the first pony that was truly nice to me... even if it just meant giving away your sandwich."
  453. >Holy shit
  454. >A sandwich just changed someone's life
  455. >That's the first
  456.  
  457. >"Why though? Why are you so nice to me? Even after all that I did?"
  458. >You thought about it for a moment
  459. "Well... I guess it's because I know how you feel."
  460. >It was no wonder you couldn't get mad at her
  461. >It wasn't just because she was cute
  462. >She was an outcast here, just like you
  463. >Maybe not with the added weird sense, but she was just like you
  464. "Even now, ponies still make comments and go out of their own ways just to make my life a living hell. They just never try anything because they know I could easily crush and destroy them if I wanted to."
  465. >You feel Peep tense up
  466. >Nice job, Anon
  467. "I'd never hurt you though."
  468. >She relaxes
  469. >Fuckin saved yourself
  470. >She looks up at you, tears still present
  471. >"T-thank you, Anon. You don't even know how much that means to me."
  472. >She hugs you and softly sighs
  473. >Out of the corner of your eye, you see Twilight getting closer
  474. >You glare the fuck out of her, and she pauses
  475. >She stands for a moment, then shakes her head and walks away
  476. >That's right bitch, walk away
  477. >You two stayed hugging each other
  478. >It felt a bit like some kind of ending to some shitty movie
  479. >Or a horribly written story
  480. >And then you realize
  481. >Your house is still fucked up
  482. >You still have a pie on your couch
  483. >This wasn't some shitty fanfiction
  484. >You had shit to fix
  485. "So. Want to go finish that pie?"
  486. >Peep giggles
  487. >"Sure."
  488. >...
  489. >Back in your horribly destroyed house, you see that Twilight actually helped out
  490. >There's no more water
  491. >Your furniture is back in its place
  492. >Roof's still missing, and shit was still destroyed, but at least she helped
  493. >And she left...
  494. >Wow.
  495. >She ate the rest of the fucking pie
  496. >Fucking Twiggy Piggy
  497.  
  498. >Peep flies over to the couch, as sad about the pie as you are
  499. >You walk into your room
  500. >Your suit is clean and tidy, just lying on your bed
  501. >Aw yiss
  502. >You change into that shit faster than...
  503. >Fuck it, you change quickly
  504. >And now you feel complete
  505. >Still hungry
  506. >And tired as all hell
  507. >But complete
  508. >You walk back into your living room
  509. >Peep is sitting on your wall with some other pigeons
  510. >She's cooing and bobbing her head like she did when you first met her
  511. >She sees you and blushes a bit
  512. >The birds fly away and she comes down
  513. >Why did she blush and say sorry for everything?
  514. >She was worse than Fluttershy
  515. >Just a lot cuter
  516. >And less annoying
  517. >Then a thought hit you
  518. >Maybe Fluttershit could actually help you out somehow
  519. >Not by moving your furniture and eating your fucking pie
  520. >But maybe she could show some kind of sympathy to Peep?
  521. >Give her shelter and food and stuff
  522. >Maybe she didn't share the same feelings about crossbreeds like the rest of those dicks
  523. >She loved all kinda of animals
  524. >...Right?
  525. >Well, it's worth a shot
  526. >You know you have to do something besides lounging around and waiting for Jesus to help you out
  527. >That bastard
  528. >Probably sent you here anyways
  529. "Peep. Care to take a little walk?"
  530. >You explain your horrible and desperate reasoning to her
  531. >She doesn't believe for one fucking second that anyone would be that nice to her
  532. >You use yourself as a prime example that there can be some good
  533. >But really, what did you know?
  534. >You were an alien creature from a hell where people killed and fucked things for fun
  535. >But you hoped you were right
  536. >It seemed Peep was going to follow you regardless of where
  537. >She really trusted the shit out of you
  538. >You both leave the house and head out towards Nutter Butter's home
  539. >Luckily, she hated any kind of contact not involving animals, so she was nowhere near the town
  540. >You both take the scenic route
  541.  
  542. >The scenic route was very... scenic
  543. >It cut through the forest used for the running of the leaves
  544. >White Oak forest or some shit
  545. >Who cares
  546. >At this point, you've been awake for about 19 hours
  547. >Minus that nap
  548. >It really didn't faze you, though
  549. >You've done marathons longer than that
  550. >And not the running kind
  551. >The snacks, Netflix, PC and Mountain Dew kind
  552. >The much better kind
  553. >"It's so nice outside, isn't it? Out in the trees and the sky? It's so... wonderful."
  554. >You were replaying all those awesome matches of Killing Floor 2 in your head when she spoke
  555. "Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. Super nice."
  556. >She doesn't acknowledge how retarded you sounded when you answered
  557. >She just smiles
  558. >"Thinking about something?"
  559. >You think of what to say you were thinking about
  560. >Then you think a thinking thing
  561. >While thinking
  562. >Think
  563. "Just about home."
  564. >"What about it?"
  565. "Just all the entertaining ways I'd waste time."
  566. >She stays silent, waiting for you to continue
  567. >You really did waste a lot of time on Earth, didn't you?
  568. >But now you're forced to go outside and have a life
  569. >In a sense, it's been kind of good for you
  570. >Maybe enough to thank whoever or whatever did this to you
  571. >...Nah
  572. >Fuck them
  573. >You missed Fallout 4's launch
  574. >You'll take that damn hatred to your grave
  575. >You could've wasted so many wonderful days on that game
  576. >You then realize that Peep was still thinking you were going to continue talking
  577. >She's giving you an awkward look
  578. "That's, kind of it."
  579. >She looks disappointed
  580. >"So, you don't think about the rest of your home?"
  581. >You shrug
  582. "I never really did much back home. Nothing really worthwhile to remember. What about you?"
  583. >Oh shit, that was a stupid fucking question
  584. >Her eyes fall to the floor
  585. >You can't tell if she's about to cry or speak, but you see Fluttershit's cottage ahead
  586. "-HEY, would you look at that? That's Fluttershy's house!
  587. >She perks up a bit
  588. >You walk up to the door and knock on it
  589. >It lightly creaks open
  590. >"H-hello, Anonymous. Birdpony."
  591. >So far so good
  592.  
  593. >You and Peep are now sitting on Fluttershit's couch while she made tea
  594. >At this point, you were almost positive she was going to be a bitch,
  595. >But being the Element of Kindness, you had some doubt
  596. >You just hoped Peep was right
  597. >"I, I think she seems nice." Peep says
  598. >She damn well better be
  599. >Or else... you'd do something
  600. >Fuck, what COULD you do?
  601. >You spy Angel just staring at you both like a little bitch
  602. >The few times you've seen that fucker you've just wanted to punt him into the fifth dimension
  603. >A brilliantly horrible thought came to mind
  604. >But only if Butter Fry said no
  605. >Then right on cue, she comes back with a tray of tea
  606. >I guess the fact that she hasn't thrown the goddamn tea at us already is a really good sign
  607. >Maybe you were just over-reacting
  608. >Maybe
  609. >She sits in a nearby chair and takes a few sips from her tea, staring at us
  610. >"So, what brings you two here?"
  611. >Her eyes are now just glued to Peep
  612. "Well, recently the roof of my house collapsed under... peculiar circumstances."
  613. >Peep's fat ass peculiar, to be exact
  614. "Twilight hasn't exactly been... helpful, with me on this."
  615. >She takes another sip
  616. >She has a stone cold face that you can't read for shit
  617. >She just nods
  618. "I was just, kind of hoping... you'd give Peep a home meanwhile?"
  619. >You wince on the inside
  620. >Oh fucking boy, here it comes
  621. >Peep starts preparing for disappointment as well at this point
  622. >Fluttershy simply takes another sip, then places the cup down on a nearby table
  623. >She was pretty damn rough about it, too
  624. >She takes a deep breath
  625. >"...OF COURSE!!"
  626. >Wait what
  627. >What the fuck
  628. >I'm confused
  629. >So is Peep
  630. >"I've ALWAYS been dying to meet a crossbreed! I was so jealous seeing you talking to her but I didn't say anything because everypony was being so mean so I didn't want to get yelled at or anything but I've wanted to know so many things about them but just never got the chance to ever talk to one-"
  631. >She flies up to Peep with a huge ass smile
  632. >"Oh, I just want to know EVERYTHING about you!"
  633.  
  634. >It was night again
  635. >You came around 9 to Fluttershy's house
  636. >She's demanded that she hears EVERYTHING about Peep and her life
  637. >She couldn't of even saved it for later
  638. >It had to be that very moment
  639. >It's been about 30 hours minus the map
  640. >You knew for a fact you were now officially getting brain damage as they spoke
  641. >You didn't want to walk out and make it seem like you didn't want to be there
  642. >But you didn't want to be there
  643. >You tried to sleep on that couch
  644. >But sleeping would've had the same effect
  645. >And Fluttershy's constant excited noises kept jolting you awake
  646. >You felt that you should've paid more attention to Peep's story, but it was all stuff you heard before
  647. >Just elongated and really detailed
  648. >She really did have it rough before she saw you
  649. >You even caught the part of her saying that she flew to you because she didn't know what you were
  650. >She had a small glimmer of hope that you wouldn't be a dick and try chasing her out of town
  651. >And seemed pretty confident that you were somewhat civilized, because of your 'amazingly nice suit'
  652. >And she was right
  653. >Your suit was fucking 'amazingly nice'
  654. >But going into all the detail she did
  655. >It was sad to hear
  656. >Well, it WOULD'VE been, had you had enough fucking sleep to understand what was going on
  657. >But you at least noticed the abundance of sad words she used
  658. >It was no wonder she warmed up to a nice, but complete alien stranger in less than a day
  659. >She was treated just like one
  660. >Just without the 'nice' part
  661. >She then went on to talk about her parents
  662. >The griffon and pony
  663. >You weren't that sleepy when she talked about it
  664. >So you heard about the griffon just, well, forcefully taking his mom and leaving
  665. >The saddest part, it seemed, was when the town Peep was in tried throwing her out
  666. >It was a whole tragic movie scene going on
  667. >Her mom fought back
  668. >Peep escaped
  669. >And she just flew from town to town until she could find someplace to stay
  670. >She still didn't even know if her mom was alive or not
  671. >That was 9 years ago
  672.  
  673. >Fluttershy finally wraps everything up
  674. >Peep gets settled and comfy on the couch for now
  675. >And you're finally able to get the hell out of there
  676. >You don't even bother going the scenic route
  677. >You cut through the town
  678. >The ponies were probably all asleep anyways
  679. >Probably
  680. >You were too tired to really give a shit
  681. >You walk through the streets and find out you were right
  682. >Everyone was asleep
  683. >You manage not to get stabbed or shanked by the town's populace
  684. >After what seems like a damn hour, you finally start recognizing the area around your house
  685. >You come up the street and-
  686. >OH MY GOD
  687. >Your house is still there
  688. >The darkness and lack of any light made it hard to see that
  689. >But your house was definitely there
  690. >And here you thought that the town's populace was going to tear it down
  691. >But for all you knew, they were all creating the cloaks for the next KKK meeting in town
  692. >But you didn't know much
  693. >At least, not now
  694. >The only thing you knew was that you needed your goddamn sleep
  695. >And every minute you spent awake was just another minute closer to passing out on the front porch
  696. >You crawl through your house, ignoring the door that Twilight still needed to fucking fix
  697. >And the damn pie she destroyed
  698. >And the shriveled up stem of what once was your buddy Joey
  699. >And the vase he was in, which Peep knocked over with her fat ass
  700. >And the TV that was utterly violated by rain and building materials
  701. >You essentially had everything that mattered, destroyed
  702. >But you were too damn tired to think about that
  703. >You head into your room and get into a damn nice comfortable position and ready for the best sleep of your life
  704. >...
  705. >You wake up gasping with the horrible feeling of being drowned
  706. >3 AM rain
  707. >Goddamn it
  708. >You grab your pillow, blanket and your lovely pajamas and head back to the closet
  709. >You get comfortable and sigh, watching your house being raped by water
  710. >Again
  711. >You close the door
  712. >You immediately feel like something is missing somewhere
  713. >But you don't know exactly what
  714.  
  715. >You wake up feeling cold
  716. >Colder than you did the last time you slept in the closet, at least
  717. >You're not sure what time it is, but you feel pretty well rested
  718. >You open the door, glad to see that a lot of the water went and evaporated
  719. >But fucked your floor up in the process
  720. >You grab your pillow and blanket, and your-
  721. >Wait, you didn't-
  722. >Oh FUCK NO
  723. >You run to your room and stare at the bed in horror
  724. >Your fucking suit shrank and shriveled to hell
  725. >You didn't even know what the fuck your suit was made out of, but all that damn time in the sun just fucking fucked it
  726. >Fucking FUCK
  727. >You drop the pillow and blanket and slowly walk up to your last prized possession
  728. >That was it.
  729. >That was the last of your pride and joy
  730. >And you left it out in the rain and sun to get gangbanged by the late-night weather team
  731. >Just great
  732. >You sit on your soaking bed while that thought just slowly sinks in
  733. >Pretty much everything of meaning you had is all gone
  734. >All the stuff you worked damn hard for
  735. >Especially Joey
  736. >That bitch took forever to grow
  737. >And now he was dead
  738. >Your TV took two years of saving up
  739. >It was destroyed times ten
  740. >Your suit had been a college graduation gift from your parents
  741. >And now it was small enough to sell at Babies 'R Us
  742. >Not to mention your house
  743. >It was donated, but your damn pride and joy no less
  744. >Now, all you had was your stupidly comfortable suit pajamas, and whatever was left in your house
  745. >You now had everything good in your life taken away from you
  746. >Just like it was on Earth
  747. >Everything...
  748. >You tossed your kid sized suit to the ground and laid down on your horribly wet bed
  749. >You stared at the sky
  750. >You were pretty sure it was around 5 in the afternoon
  751. >Maybe tomorrow something good would happen
  752. >Heh
  753. >Yeah fucking right
  754. >...
  755. >FUCKING DICKS WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?
  756. >You jump the fuck out of your bed and fall off
  757. >It was dark and raining like shit again
  758. >3 AM
  759. >But you woke up to some shit that sounded like a fucking bomb
  760. >Then you see it
  761. >Fire
  762.  
  763. >Your ears are fucking ringing
  764. >You can't hear shit
  765. >You think your damn house was just struck by lightning
  766. >The fucking weather team fucked you again
  767. >It stuck and just obliterated your TV
  768. >As if it wasn't fucking destroyed enough
  769. >Now there were goddamn small pieces of it everywhere
  770. >The rain itself doesn't help at all
  771. >The fire just gets bigger and engulfs your couch
  772. >It's no use
  773. >With nothing to really take, you just bail and get the fuck out of your home
  774. >It doesn't take long until your entire house is being made well done
  775. >And you can only watch
  776. >The ringing in your ear begins to fade
  777. >You lied earlier
  778. >You didn't lose everything before
  779. >NOW you did
  780. >You faintly hear the sound of hooves behind you
  781. >Ponies woken up by the noise, no doubt
  782. >You don't care who or what it was
  783. >You fell onto the ground and started crying
  784. >You were a manly man
  785. >But the rain made your tears invisible
  786. >So it was alright
  787. >Not like the ponies would do anything about it
  788. >They all silently hated you anyways
  789. >Now what was there to do?
  790. >Where would you go from here?
  791. >You didn't have the faintest clue
  792. >But not even Earth was this cruel to you
  793. >And it was all because of one pigeon pony
  794. >No
  795. >Be nice Anon
  796. >Be fucking nice
  797.  
  798. >You didn't know how long you were sitting out there
  799. >But you know it's been a few hours
  800. >You kinda just watched your home getting cooked
  801. >And now it seemed it was over
  802. >Where were you supposed to live now?
  803. >Maybe Fluttershy would let you stay in her house like Peep did
  804. >You think about it for a moment
  805. >Then start on the scenic route to her home
  806. >None of the ponies were out anymore
  807. >Nobody even tried to help you out
  808. >Those fuckers
  809. >They were glad you didn't eat pony
  810. >You sigh and start the walk
  811. >...
  812. >Now the cottage was just up ahead
  813. >You walk up to it and knock on the door
  814. >Fluttershy answers and gasps
  815. >"Oh my, you look awful! What happened?"
  816. "Oh, my house just got struck by lightning and burned down. Where's Peep?"
  817. >"She just left a few minutes ago to go look for you. She said she couldn't find you yesterday..."
  818. >Yesterday?
  819. >Oh, right, you were in the closet sleeping all day long
  820. >Both of you start hearing someone crying
  821. >It's getting louder pretty quickly
  822. >Then you see Peep flying towards the cottage, crying like crazy
  823. >She pushes past Fluttershy and enters the house
  824. >"F-fluttershy, th-they b-burned down his house! H-he was probably still in t-there! THEY K-KILLED A-ANON! THEY KILLED HIM!"
  825. >What
  826. >Did, did she seriously not see you just now?
  827. >"I didn't even g-get to tell him how I f-feel..."
  828. >You know you shouldn't be, but you're so amused right now
  829. >"H-he was my on-only friend..."
  830. >Fluttershy walks into the cottage while you wait by the doorway
  831. "I bet he was a pretty cool guy," you smile
  832. >Peep looks up
  833. >She brightens up immediately
  834. >Then tackles you
  835. >But you were in the doorway
  836. >So you get thrown really far back
  837. >She breaks Fluttershy's mailbox with her ass
  838. >Jesus Christ
  839. >"H-hi, Anon..."
  840. >You stare at the mailbox in horror
  841. "Uh, h-hey, Peep. H-how's Fluttershy been treating you?"
  842. >"Good!"
  843. >T-that mailbox
  844. >It, it was made of some kind of METAL
  845. >S-she
  846. >Her a-ass
  847. >Fluttershy's staring at her mailbox
  848. >Peep's oblivious to what she just did
  849. >You're scared
  850.  
  851. >Turns out your home was attacked by someone
  852. >3 AM showers were just that
  853. >There was no lightning in them
  854. >Someone on the weather team hit your house
  855. >Maybe the ponies in this town WERE conspiring against you
  856. >It seemed a lot more likely now
  857. >But, there was also just the chance that someone was stupid and accidentally hit your house
  858. >But at this point it was a bit hard to believe
  859. >So as of now, you were currently a resident in Fluttershy's house
  860. >But because of your size, you didn't exactly have a place to stay
  861. >So the floor was your bed
  862. >You would be lying if you said you didn't feel somewhat paranoid around the town
  863. >You hadn't seen Twilight since she ate your pie and left
  864. >And well, your house just fucking burned down
  865. >So you figured it was probably just in your best interest to stay put
  866. >And hopefully something good would happen, or the situation would fix itself
  867. >Then you heard knocking on the door
  868. >Fluttershy and Peep were out in the backyard, doing whatever the hell they were doing
  869. >So you were the only one in the house right now
  870. >Your paranoia kicks in, and you suspect there's probably some damn ponies with pitchforks and torches behind that door
  871. >You stand up and slowly walk to it
  872. >You try to find someplace to peek through, but find nothing
  873. >Maybe you should go get Fluttershy and Peep
  874. >But what if it WAS an angry mob?
  875. >They couldn't defend themselves
  876. >Damn
  877. >You take a deep breath and open the door
  878. >A blue pony turns to you and smiles
  879. >"So you're the one housing the crossbreeds, right?"
  880. >You open your mouth, but she cuts you off with an extended wing
  881. >"Name's Blue. I'm a Blue Jay- you call me Bluey, I'll kill you, sound good?"
  882. "Wha-"
  883. >"Thanks man, means a lot!"
  884. >She gives you a quick hug and invites herself in
  885. >Wow, she actually had the colors of a Blue Jay
  886. >Her hair was blue, slicked back and pointy
  887. >It had some dark grey and white patterns in it
  888. >Just like a Blue Jay
  889. >Her tail was the same
  890. >Her head snaps back to you
  891. >"Quit checking me out.”
  892.  
  893. >Alright
  894. >Well, now there's a Blue Jay pony in Fluttershy's cottage
  895. >She's just looking around, mumbling to herself every so often
  896. >"So, what? You some kinda alien animal lover or somethin'? Never seen no crossbreed lookin' like you before."
  897. >She sounded like she had just come out of some big city or something
  898. >You couldn't quite place it
  899. >"So what, you just gonna keep starin at me? That what you do for fun around here?"
  900. >You shook your head and went into the back with Fluttershy and Peep
  901. >You see them feeding some smaller birds
  902. "Uh, Fluttershy?"
  903. >She turns and smiles at you
  904. >So does Peep
  905. "We, uh, we've got a visitor."
  906. >Right on cue, Blue walks outside
  907. >"Why'd you run? Scared of me or something?"
  908. >Peep and Blue look at each other
  909. >Peep seems a bit uneasy
  910. >"H-hello!"
  911. >Blue walks over to her and wraps a wing around her
  912. >"Hey, how's it goin'? What cross are you- oh- pigeon! Of course of course! Nice to meet you- you shacking up with this alien guy too?"
  913. >"Y-yeah."
  914. >"Cool, cool. There stuff to eat around here? I'm crazy hungry."
  915. >Fluttershy slowly shuffles to you, watching the two
  916. >"Anon, that pony looks like a Blue Jay."
  917. "I know. It's crazy. And here I tho-"
  918. >"-Anon, Blue Jays are usually very aggressive towards other birds."
  919. "...What?"
  920. >"They're very territorial birds. If that pony is anything like a normal Blue Jay, then-"
  921. >"-Hey, where's all the food at, alien guy? You gonna deliver or what?"
  922. >It looks like Peep is shaking beside her
  923. >Fluttershy looks at you again before walking towards Blue and showing her to some seeds
  924. >"Eh, I'm not much into seeds anymore. Got any meat here?"
  925. >You, Peep and Fluttershy kind of just stare at each other
  926. "You eat meat?"
  927. >Blue furrows a brow
  928. >"'Course I do! Couldn't go a day without it!"
  929. >You can't help but smile
  930. >This is great
  931. >"Well, I haven't had any time to grab some from town...-"
  932. >"Then what are we waiting around for? Let's grab some!"
  933. >You couldn't agree more
  934. >Maybe Blue wasn't so bad
  935.  
  936. >Before anyone could really say much, you, Blue, Peep and Fluttershy were out, heading into town
  937. >DIRECTLY into town
  938. >Where loads of other ponies were
  939. >You were damn scared of what would happen
  940. >But you were more interested in the place that sold meat here
  941. >The place that Fluttershy never even bothered to tell you about
  942. >For like, two years
  943. >Bitch
  944. >Meanwhile, Blue was strutting into town like she owned the damn place
  945. >You, Peep and Flutters just stayed behind
  946. >You weren't scared for yourself, but more for these two
  947. >If you were talked into shit by Twilight, you could just imagine how everyone saw Fluttershy right now, hanging out with an alien and two crossbreeds
  948. >"Get out of here, you ugly crossbreeds!"
  949. >Blue stops and spreads her wings towards the pony
  950. >"Wanna say that to my fucking face!?"
  951. >...Holy shit
  952. >She just cursed
  953. >You've never heard anybody curse here but you
  954. >Not even your house being fucked over left you as shocked as you are now
  955. >The pony even winces
  956. >Fucking Christ, Blue is BAD. ASS.
  957. >The town had just been full of ponies whispering and staring at your group
  958. >Now none of the ponies dared to say anything
  959. >You felt a lot better walking through the town than you did earlier
  960. >And soon, you reach the meat place
  961. >Of course, a griffon is the owner
  962. >You see that it's not really a place to buy meat, and instead a place INCLUDING meat
  963. >It's some kind of exotic goods shop
  964. >It sells tropical fruit, cheap tourist items, relics-
  965. >OH MY GOD BACON HOLY SHIT YES
  966. >Fucking wait
  967. >You have no money
  968. >FUCK
  969. >But Blue surprisingly has some bits
  970. >And a fucking lot of them, all in this bag you never noticed was tucked under her wing
  971. >It was kind of like a backpack or something that kept them all nice and out of sight
  972. >Smart.
  973. >It seems she had her eyes set on the same thing
  974. >She also sees you eyeing it
  975. >She buys the shit out of it
  976. >More than enough for the both of you
  977. >And she didn't even flinch at the price of it all
  978. >Fucking dicks you love this birdpony
  979.  
  980.  
  981.  
  982. >It'a like fucking Christmas
  983. >Glorious, meat-filled Christmas
  984. >Of course, Peep and Fluttershy can only watch in horror as you and Blue completely destroy pounds of bacon
  985. >Having been meat-free for almost 2 years, having it again was the greatest fucking thing
  986. >It was like sex in your mouth
  987. >And obviously Blue felt the same
  988. >"I haven't had bacon in so long. Too long."
  989. "I hear ya!" you laugh
  990. >You're so damn happy right now
  991. >It's like trudging through the desert and finally finding an oasis, complete with a full bar and lonely girls in bikinis
  992. >It's just that good
  993. >Meanwhile, Peep and Fluttershy settled for some bland and very unfulfilling roasted oats
  994. >You almost feel sorry for them, not being able to partake in the wonders of meat
  995. >But hell, it meant more for you and Blue
  996. >Soon enough, it even turned into a bacon-eating competition
  997. >You, of course, won with flying colors
  998. >"Man, you really know how to eat!"
  999. >You smile and nod
  1000. "It's true, it's true. May be an omnivore, but hell if meat isn't the greatest thing ever."
  1001. >"I hear that!"
  1002. >You both laugh
  1003. >Soon enough, Fluttershy and Peep excuse themselves from the table
  1004. >Peep looked like she was a bit hurt the whole time, but you couldn't really understand why
  1005. >She suddenly seemed very sad
  1006. >You didn't have the faintest clue as to why
  1007. >But Blue here was now an awesome-ass friend in your book
  1008. "So where'd you come from, Blue?"
  1009. >"Manehattan! Got wind of some rumor saying that crossbreeds were welcomed by some monkey-looking thing in a town called Ponyville."
  1010. >Wow, so word of you and Peep definitely DID get spread
  1011. >And fast
  1012. >"How 'bout you? What's your story?"
  1013. "Oh, I came from another planet."
  1014. >"No shit?"
  1015. >You smiled
  1016. >It was like talking to one of your old friends again
  1017. "Yup! Nice little place called Earth. I lived in a place called Denver."
  1018. >"How the hay did you get here?"
  1019. "Long story."
  1020. >She takes another strip of bacon and props her back hooves up on the table
  1021. >"I got time."
  1022.  
  1023. >You went on to explain how you came to Equestria, and the whole 2 years in it
  1024. >Blue was listening intently the whole time
  1025. >So far, there seemed to be absolutely nothing wrong with this pony
  1026. >At all
  1027. >She didn't destroy your roof, vase or TV
  1028. >Instead, she fucking told some pony off like a badass and bought you fucking bacon
  1029. >It seemed like things were finally starting to look up now
  1030. >"That, is crazy. You need to write books or make a movie of your life. Ponies would eat it up."
  1031. "Probably. So what about you? What's your story?"
  1032. >"Eh, it ain't nothing special-"
  1033. "Aw come on. You're literally like the damn coolest pony I've met."
  1034. >She grins
  1035. >"Well, if you REALLY want to hear it," she pretended to sigh
  1036. >She went on about her life in the city
  1037. >It wasn't tragic at all
  1038. >It was action-packed and awesome
  1039. >If there wasn't so damn much to tell
  1040. >You could've written a damn book on just her city life
  1041. >Gangs, stealing, fights
  1042. >This pony acted tough
  1043. >And fucking WAS tough
  1044. >The stories she talked about were fucking intense
  1045. >Jewelry store robberies, high speed flight chases, broken neighborhoods
  1046. >Her life was like a goddamn Michael Bay movie
  1047. >Just not shit
  1048. >While she talked, you couldn't help but take every single word
  1049. >She talked with her hooves and built so much damn suspense during it
  1050. >Because of how shit you were at details, you couldn't even begin to describe how fucking amazing she made everything sound
  1051. >That was it though
  1052. >Blue was now officially your favorite fucking birdpony
  1053. >Hands. Motherfucking. Down.
  1054. >You just sat and listened to her talk while the bacon on the table was slowly finished
  1055. >"-And that's when I showed up to this place."
  1056. "Damn. That's like- I'm, I'm just fucking speechless right now."
  1057. >Blue laughs
  1058. >"Oh please, it wasn't THAT interesting."
  1059. "No, no. That, was just fucking crazy. Especially that whole cart stealing thing when you were a filly? Fucking awesome."
  1060. >She softly laughs again and smiles
  1061. >"Glad you think so."
  1062.  
  1063. >It was pretty damn late when you and Blue stopped talking
  1064. >Time flew by a lot quicker than you liked
  1065. >And the bacon was now all gone
  1066. >Talking to Blue really was like being back home
  1067. >She didn't care if you cussed, and she did, herself
  1068. >Meat was involved, definitely a huge plus
  1069. >The last time you had meat was...
  1070. >Well, too goddamn long, honestly
  1071. >You bid Blue a goodnight, but realized that she'd probably be taking the floor with you as well
  1072. >Fluttershy mentioned earlier about working on some kind of rooms for me, Peep, and now Blue
  1073. >You just hoped you had a damn nice bed to lie on
  1074. >Kind of like the one in your old house...
  1075. >Well, there was no use looking back on it now
  1076. >What's done is done
  1077. >Now you need some damn sleep
  1078. >...
  1079. >You jolt awake
  1080. >You hear rain clattering on the nearby windows
  1081. >From the look of it, the rain just started picking up
  1082. >It was like your body knew about the rain or something
  1083. >Some kind of double check
  1084. >You turn your head from the window and stare at the ceiling
  1085. >You see Blue sleeping a few feet away
  1086. >She isn't snoring, but she has her mouth open
  1087. >It's cute and funny at the same time
  1088. >You turn the other way and-
  1089. >Wait, where's Peep?
  1090. >She's no longer there on the couch
  1091. >You pick your head up and scan the room
  1092. >No sign of Peep
  1093. >You stand up and quietly crouch around the room
  1094. >She's nowhere to be found
  1095. >Then you hear something that isn't rain
  1096. >Sounds like something muffled
  1097. >You walk closer to the stairs and stop
  1098. >You start to hear some faint crying
  1099. >You hear it coming from the backyard area
  1100. >You can't understand anything over the rain
  1101. >You slowly and quietly open the door
  1102. >Peep is sitting on a bench, crying and mumbling to herself
  1103. >"W-why would he ever l-like me anyways? I'm nothing b-but a pathetic l-loser anyways..."
  1104. >Who was she talking about?
  1105. >"Blue's obviously a much better pony than me... Anon deserves the best, anyways... If only I wasn't so far from it..."
  1106. >She starts crying again
  1107. >Oh, shit.
  1108. >She was talking about YOU.
  1109.  
  1110. >"I just wish I could get some k-kind of break... I j-just want to finally be happy... W-why can't I be happy? Why d-do ponies have to hate me so much?"
  1111. >You didn't know what to do at the moment
  1112. >You didn't know if you saying something would make things worse or better
  1113. >Peep liked you, that was now obvious, but you didn't think that-
  1114. >"I-I love you, Anon. More than anything."
  1115. >Nope, she just fucking said it
  1116. >Okay, now there was a bit of a predicament here
  1117. >You weren't sure if you even felt the same or not
  1118. >I mean, you can identify the feelings, obviously,
  1119. >But the whole species thing
  1120. >That kind of made things difficult
  1121. >You weren't sure if you would be able to love another species like that
  1122. >At least well, for that matter
  1123. >And if the ponies in the town silently disliked you and crossbreeds already,
  1124. >What the hell would they do with an alien-crossbreed relationship?
  1125. >And what if Blue liked you?
  1126. >I mean, you didn't think she did
  1127. >But if she did
  1128. >And Peep did
  1129. >...It'd be damn scary
  1130. >What would you do?
  1131. >Were you even CAPABLE of having a relationship?
  1132. >Would it even go into that?
  1133. >"Maybe I really am just worthless..."
  1134. >Fuck
  1135. >It crushed you hearing this out of Peep
  1136. >Not doing anything would probably make things worse
  1137. >And doing something had the same damn possibility
  1138. >Okay, calm down, Anon
  1139. >...What do YOU want?
  1140. >...Well,
  1141. >You want everyone to be happy
  1142. >But you don't want to sacrifice your own happiness in any way
  1143. >So how do you do that?
  1144. >"I bet nopony would even care if I just, flew away right now..."
  1145. >Oh shit
  1146. >Make a fucking choice here, Anon
  1147. >Come on, Telltale Games prepared you for shit like this!
  1148. >Just imagine a Walking Dead situation
  1149. >Go one way, or another?
  1150. >What consequences would each-
  1151. >Peep slowly spreads her wings-
  1152. >WHY CAN'T YOU PAUSE THIS SHIT TO THINK GODDAMN IT?!
  1153. >She sighs
  1154. >Fuckmefuckmefuckme
  1155. >"Goodbye, Anon..."
  1156. >FUCK
  1157.  
  1158. >*You chose to stop Peep.*
  1159. "Wait!"
  1160. >Peep yelps and shrinks back into her spot
  1161. >"A-a-anon? W-what are you doing here?"
  1162. >*You chose not to answer.*
  1163. >You sit beside her on the bench and just hug her
  1164. >She's tensed up and silent for a moment
  1165. >Then she lets out a whimper and starts crying again
  1166. >"H-how much did you h-hear?"
  1167. "Enough..."
  1168. >You gently rub her back while she just continues crying
  1169. >You had to do some thinking meanwhile
  1170. >Okay, she said she loved you
  1171. >Again, did you feel the same?
  1172. >You, well, you thought she was cute
  1173. >A bit clumsy, definitely
  1174. >Pretty soft spoken
  1175. >Crazy nice
  1176. >Maybe you did have SOME feeli-
  1177. >But she destroyed your home
  1178. >Broke your TV
  1179. >Killed your plant
  1180. >Essentially took everything away from you
  1181. >But it was an accident
  1182. >But it still happened
  1183. >But she didn't mean to
  1184. >She tried saving Joey, remember?
  1185. >She stole a pie for you
  1186. >She trusts the fuck out of you
  1187. >But...
  1188. >Did that mean you love her?
  1189. >She stops crying, but holds you tighter
  1190. >Only the rain is making noise at this point
  1191. >Why did shit have to be so dramatic here?
  1192. >Peep looks up at you with her huge brown eyes
  1193. >Shit, here it comes
  1194. >"A-anon?"
  1195. >Fuck
  1196. "Yeah?"
  1197. >"D-do you... do you love me?"
  1198. >Fuck, there's the little bar at the bottom of the screen
  1199. >
  1200. (A) OF COURSE, LET'S FUCK
  1201. (B) I'm sorry...
  1202. (X) ...
  1203. (Y) [Kiss her]
  1204. >Your mind couldn't stop focusing on one fucking thing:
  1205. >Did you love her?
  1206. >That one sentence wouldn't stop buzzing by your mind
  1207. >Did you?
  1208. >Didn't you?
  1209. >COULD you?
  1210. >Fuck it, who were you kidding?
  1211. >(Y)
  1212.  
  1213. >You honestly never kissed anyone besides your family before this
  1214. >It wasn't that you were a loser or anything
  1215. >But you kinda were
  1216. >You were hit on plenty of times in high school, but worrying more about grades than girls definitely paid off
  1217. >But then you became a rich shut-in
  1218. >You only came out of your house for work and the occasional grocery run
  1219. >Contact with females was minimal, at best
  1220. >But here you were
  1221. >Kissing a birdpony that loved the absolute shit out of you
  1222. >And you had to admit...
  1223. >You loved that she loved you
  1224. >So you guess you loved her
  1225. >You were a bit worried, almost skeptical about the idea just a few seconds ago
  1226. >But now, you honestly didn't give a shit
  1227. >This birdpony was now yours
  1228. >And probably would be forever
  1229. >Unless you got fucking murdered by the town's populace, obviously
  1230. >But you wouldn't worry about that now
  1231. >...Actually, you SHOULD fucking worry about that
  1232. >If crossbreeding was already frowned upon, how bad would BEING with one be?
  1233. >As long as nobody knew, it was fine
  1234. >Like some Romeo and Juliet type shit
  1235. >Just, you know, with a lot less dying, hopefully
  1236. >You finally pull away and see Peep's face
  1237. >It was hard to tell that she was actually grey a few seconds ago
  1238. >She moved her mouth to speak, but couldn't speak
  1239. >She was looking at you, but her gaze was elsewhere
  1240. >You were sure that you looked the same, though
  1241. >There were no damn butterflies in your stomach
  1242. >It was more like five fucking hives of wasps
  1243. >Friendly wasps, though
  1244. >You both were just speechless
  1245. >It was like expecting a jumpscare, but still freaking the fuck out when it happened
  1246. >Then, a small smile started forming on Peep's face
  1247. >You returned it
  1248. >Then Peep hugged you, tears starting to form again
  1249. >But they were no longer tears of sadness
  1250. >It was pure joy
  1251. >You noticed yourself feeling the same way
  1252. >You teared up
  1253. >You definitely made the right choice here
  1254. >Nothing would change that
  1255. >...Well...
  1256. >Unless you died.
  1257. >STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT
  1258.  
  1259. >Everything was perfect
  1260. >Well, relatively perfect
  1261. >There was still plenty of messed up shit everywhere
  1262. >But it was significantly better, at least
  1263. >Only the rain was making noise at this point
  1264. >You both had stopped crying and settled for just hugging on the bench
  1265. >It was like a shitty movie moment
  1266. >A kind of movie you'd never even watch
  1267. >But you had to admit, seeing sappy shit and experiencing it were two completely different things
  1268. >And you were hella glad you've now gotten to experience it
  1269. >Did you actually miss all of this back on Earth?
  1270. >Well then again, those few times you'd gone out with your buddies, they told you how shit relationships were
  1271. >First it's fun
  1272. >Then commitment and other guys possibly come around
  1273. >Now you're stuck essentially competeing
  1274. >Then kids
  1275. >Marriage
  1276. >Possibly cheating
  1277. >Stealing money
  1278. >Essentially just everything fucking horrible
  1279. >And here you were, just listening to them all whine about your lives
  1280. >While meanwhile, you had the greatest fucking PC setup ever, lonely and waiting back in your awesome and stupidly large house
  1281. >Well, large for one person, at least
  1282. >But the endless amount of chattering and beers they had on the subject was enough to keep you away from the ladies
  1283. >And also your friends
  1284. >But only because you couldn't relate to one goddamn thing they said
  1285. >And they always envied your rich, lovely single life
  1286. >You didn't need that shit
  1287. >Not when your merciful lord Gaben was waiting in the Steam wonderland
  1288. >...Okay, just shut up
  1289. >Focus on Peep here
  1290. >Look how damn cute she is
  1291. >Yeah, that helps
  1292. >...Still miss your PC though
  1293. >"A-Anon?"
  1294. >You blink a few times
  1295. "Yeah?"
  1296. >You feel her hug you tighter
  1297. >"Can... Can we just stay hugging like this? F-forever?"
  1298. >You laugh
  1299. "No arguments here, Peep."
  1300. >She smiles and buries her muzzle into your chest
  1301. >"Good."
  1302.  
  1303. >...
  1304. >You get woken up by your own snoring, which was pretty damn loud, to be honest
  1305. >And here you thought you were a silent sleeper
  1306. >You freaking out woke Peep up
  1307. >She smiles cutely at you
  1308. >"Good morning, Anon."
  1309. "Morning, Peep."
  1310. >She nuzzles your chest again and blushes
  1311. "Oh my god you're so adorable."
  1312. >She blushes even harder
  1313. >"I-I am?"
  1314. >You lean and kiss her again
  1315. >You can only describe it as wonderful and addicting
  1316. >Kinda like crack
  1317. >It's just as magical as it was yesterday
  1318. >Well, earlier, technically
  1319. >Peep welcomes the shit out of it
  1320. >The two of you just melt into each other for a long while
  1321. >Soon enough, your lungs demand attention and you break away, panting
  1322. >Peep's no better
  1323. >And just to think, you went from struggling NOT to be pissed off at this birdpony to, well just kissing and enjoying the shit out of each other
  1324. >You may've lost so many things that were very dear to you
  1325. >And fucking expensive
  1326. >But in turn, you gained much more
  1327. >-And wow, holy shit that was cheesy
  1328. >But you can't doubt how true it is
  1329. >Things were finally beginning to get better-
  1330. >"Wow, you two sure are friendly."
  1331. >You turn your head and see who just finished watching you and Peep
  1332. "Oh. Hey, Blue."
  1333. >She boringly waves
  1334. >"Excuse me for interrupting you two lovebirds, but I didn't want to be exposed to you both just, going at it while I started my morning flight."
  1335. >"W-we weren't-"
  1336. >"Oh yeah, yeah, sure! Of course not!"
  1337. >She gives a small glare and flies away
  1338. >You and Peep just stare
  1339. >"Sh-she seems mad."
  1340. >Then the door opens Fluttershy comes out, softly humming
  1341. >Her head turns to you and she shrinks
  1342. >"O-oh, w-was I, I interrupting anything?"
  1343. >Peep's muzzle scrunches
  1344. "No, Fluttershy, you didn't interrupt anything."
  1345. >She hastily nods and runs out into the yard
  1346. >Nice, now Fluttershy thinks you fucked on her bench or something
  1347. >Peep seems just as flustered as me, but doesn't move
  1348. "So, you still want to stay here forever?"
  1349. >She thinks about if for a moment, then nods
  1350. >Life is good
  1351.  
  1352. >...
  1353. >"Anon."
  1354. >"...Anon."
  1355. >"...Anon!!"
  1356. >You jump and wake Peep up
  1357. >Beside the bench is Twilight, just glaring at you
  1358. >Her eyes turn to Peep, and something clicks in her mind
  1359. >She gasps
  1360. >"A-Anon! Are you...?"
  1361. >You're confused for a moment
  1362. >Then you get it
  1363. "OH MY GOD. Me and Peep AREN'T fucking! We only kissed!"
  1364. >wait why did you say that
  1365. >Twilight blanks out
  1366. >"W...WHAT?! A-ARE Y... ANON?!"
  1367. >You shrink
  1368. >"That stunt you pulled yesterday in the town is already convincing some ponies that you all need to be kicked out! They're even thinking of throwing FLUTTERSHY out of town! If anypony hears about THIS, they'll run you out for sure!"
  1369. >She calms herself down and takes a few deep breaths
  1370. >"Okay, look. Anon, I'm not here as a friend, not an enemy. I'll admit I wasn't very onboard with the idea earlier, but any friend of yours is a friend of mine."
  1371. >She gives Peep a small smile
  1372. >"But word of you housing for a crossbreed has spread around Equestria like wildfire! Such an act has never even been recorded in Equestrian history, ever! It's making ponies upset all around the place, and I don't know how much I can cover for you guys before somepony does something drastic! Your house was already attacked and destroyed by somepony on the weather team, so who's to say it'll stop there?!"
  1373. >Peep softly whimpers
  1374. >"Even as a Princess here, I won't be able to do much about hundreds of crazy ponies breaking in Fluttershy's doors!"
  1375. "...Well, what do you want me to do about it?"
  1376. >She holds a hoof to her forehead and begins pacing around in a circle
  1377. >"I-I-I don't KNOW! What would ANYPONY do when an entire COUNTRY is out for them?!"
  1378. >...What did Osama do?
  1379. "Hide?"
  1380. >"Hide? WHERE?!"
  1381. >Jesus, calm down
  1382. "I don't know! Maybe we can make some underground house or something?"
  1383. >"An undergrou-... what?!"
  1384. >You shrug
  1385. >Then you hear vicious knocking on the doors
  1386. >Shieeeet
  1387.  
  1388. >Vicious knocking
  1389. >That's never good
  1390. >Okay Anon, you've got about 3 choices here
  1391. >Either you fight back like a retard
  1392. >Sneak out like a nigga
  1393. >Or dig like a bitch
  1394. >More knocking
  1395. >Fucking shit
  1396. >Peep climbs off of you and looks crazy freaked out
  1397. >'Aight, time to fucking Rambo this shit
  1398. >Gonna kill that horse KKK
  1399. >You stomp right into the cottage and prepare to just start punching ponies
  1400. >You swing the door open
  1401. >You get hit in the head
  1402. >...
  1403. >You wake up with a gasp
  1404. >Shit's crazy dark
  1405. >You put your hand in front of your face
  1406. >Okay, you aren't blind
  1407. >You could've sworn that you got hit in the fucking head though
  1408. >You don't feel any pain
  1409. >You hear an alarm go off
  1410. >You look to your right and see a bunch of numbers on a bright little screen
  1411. >You know that Ponyville didn't have any clocks like these
  1412. >Only your home did
  1413. >Before it got fucked
  1414. >It reads 3:26AM
  1415. >You finally notice that you were lying on a bed
  1416. >You recognize the shit anywhere
  1417. >It was definitely your own bed
  1418. >You slowly get up and notice something familiar
  1419. >Your suit
  1420. >You had your suit on
  1421. >You smile
  1422. >You blindly walk around the place, now recognizing this as your Ponyville house
  1423. >Had it been your house on Earth, you'd of probably fallen down the fucking stairs
  1424. >Your eyes adjust to the light as you make your way out of your home
  1425. >You're still in Ponyville, for sure
  1426. >Then you suddenly feel something off
  1427. >Where's Peep? Blue?
  1428. >And if you were HERE,
  1429. >Then what the fuck was everything else that happened?
  1430. >Okay, you've seen enough damn movies to know what the fuck was going on
  1431. >Somewhat
  1432. >You walk back into your home and just go lie on the bed
  1433. >Then a thought hits you
  1434. >What if this ISN'T a dream, or some weird-ass hallucination?
  1435. >What if you got some kind of second chance?
  1436. >Were you really going to go back to a homeless, suitless, and tv-less life?
  1437. >One where you got so many things taken away from you?
  1438. >You think of Peep for a moment
  1439. >How great you felt having her there
  1440. >But was she REALLY worth it?
  1441.  
  1442. >"Anonymous."
  1443. >You open your eyes and look around the room
  1444. >To your left is some black bitch
  1445. >More importantly, a princess black bitch
  1446. >She holds a hoof up
  1447. >"Before you ask; this is merely a dream. I needed to have a word with you."
  1448. >Oh shit
  1449. >And let me guess, this was-
  1450. >"This is about the crossbreeds."
  1451. >-Of fucking course it is
  1452. "Okay, so what, you here to kill me or some shit? Was this whole dream thing really necessary?"
  1453. >"I am merely here to commend you."
  1454. >Wait, what
  1455. >Did she fucking say condemn, or commend?
  1456. >"With word of your act spreading quickly throughout the nation, ponies all around have taken to some rather serious debate on the matter. Me and my sister both encourage you to continue forwards with this idea of yours."
  1457. "...Uh, idea?"
  1458. >"The idea that even creatures of mixed species may live together in harmony."
  1459. >She finishes a bit abruptly
  1460. >You kind of just look around
  1461. "Okay... cool?"
  1462. >She clears her throat
  1463. >You notice her dropping the formal-ass tone
  1464. >"Anonymous, what you did here has caused an entire international debate! You've already changed the course of HISTORY by simply being friendly to a crossbreed! We need you to show the world that these ponies are more than just, pests in this country!"
  1465. >You furrow a brow
  1466. "Okay, and you couldn't do this shit yourself? Can't you make some decree or something? Aren't you a fucking Princess?"
  1467. >"There are many limits to mine and my sister's own power. Trying to change a law that's been in effect longer than I've been alive is a bit difficult."
  1468. "So then, what? Are you going to give me some kind of crazy superpower or sword or some shit, or were you just here to give me a gold sticker?"
  1469. >You could tell she's a little pissed off, but smiles
  1470. >"I am only here to tell you that you will not face any kind of dangers you might would have alone. You have mine and my sister's admiration."
  1471. >Not face any dangers my ass
  1472. "You do realize that I just finished getting fucking knocked out, right?"
  1473.  
  1474. >Luna seems a bit taken back
  1475. >You nod
  1476. "Some motherfuckers attacked me in Fluttershy's cottage. I thought I was in some kind of damned coma or something."
  1477. >She steps back and holds a hoof to her chin
  1478. >"...While I may not have the power to change much, I DO have some power for OTHER things."
  1479. >She smiles
  1480. >...
  1481. >You jolt awake and sit up
  1482. >Then immediately cough
  1483. "What the fuck, where am I?!"
  1484. >A purple light illuminates the room
  1485. >You're underground
  1486. >Peep, Blue, Twilight, and of course, Fluttershit are there
  1487. >In a fucking hole in the ground
  1488. >Niiice
  1489. >Feels good to have someone fucking listen to you for a change
  1490. >Peep smiles and hugs you
  1491. >"You're okay!"
  1492. "Yup!"
  1493. >Twilight just gives you two a weird look
  1494. >Blue looks away
  1495. "So Twilight, what the hell happened to me, anyways?"
  1496. >She looks at you
  1497. >"Somepony kicked you in the face."
  1498. >Wow, what a load of bullshit
  1499. >And here you ready to destroy a whole fucking town
  1500. >Fucking ponies
  1501. >Peep looks at you
  1502. >"S-so, you were talking in your sleep..."
  1503. >"Yeah, you seemed to be saying your own thoughts. What was that about? I heard something about Princess Luna in there." Twilight jumps in
  1504. >Saying your own thoughts?
  1505. >Oh shit, that means Peep could've heard...
  1506. >Nah, you're good, you're good
  1507. >You've heard people talking in their sleep
  1508. >There was no way Peep heard that one part
  1509. >You push that behind you and smile at Twilight
  1510. "Well, I DID have a bit of a conversation with Princess Luna..."
  1511. >"Really? And??"
  1512. >You smile even wider
  1513. "It'd be better if you all just saw it. Now take us outside, Twilight!"
  1514. >She looks at you like you're some kind of retard
  1515. "As a kind man back on Earth once said: JUST, DO IT!!"
  1516. >She shrugs
  1517. >"Oookay..."
  1518. >You could've sworn you saw Peep give you a hurt look right before
  1519. >Then in a flash, you and the other four are sitting on the grass
  1520. >There's fucking ponies all around you
  1521. >The four, freak the fuck out and cling to you, while the crowd starts closing in on you
  1522. >You quickly grow anxious
  1523. >Then you see it
  1524. >Air support
  1525.  
  1526. >Had you been back on Earth, you could've sworn you saw jets headed towards you
  1527. >They were fucking fast, organized as shit, and even left a trail of smoke behind them
  1528. >Probably some kind of illusion or something
  1529. >You're not even focusing on the crowd anymore, but you can see a few ponies growing nervous by your smile
  1530. >A few look back
  1531. >They suddenly look very scared
  1532. >That's right, fuckers
  1533. >Soon enough, they're dashing right towards you
  1534. >Then there's a dramatic cloud of dust and smoke
  1535. >Then holy shit, there they are
  1536. >The fucking Wonderbolts
  1537. >They form a circle around us and stand their ground
  1538. >"Protect the VIPs!" one barks
  1539. >Ooh, VIPs.
  1540. >Sounds nice
  1541. >Then, just as some ponies realize what the fuck is going on, you see more dots in the sky coming towards you
  1542. >At first, you're fucking scared, because there were a damn lot of them
  1543. >Then, you see they're wearing armor
  1544. >ROYAL armor
  1545. >Two different kinds of it
  1546. >Goddamn, you really needed to thank Luna the next time you saw her
  1547. >A bunch of guards land behind the crowd, bearing spears
  1548. >The other group holding a wall of shields
  1549. >Oh shit this was going to be good
  1550. >One of the Wonderbolts laughs
  1551. >"This is going to be fun."
  1552. >My thoughts exactly
  1553. >The guards just stand ground, and some ponies just dart
  1554. >Obviously the ones just going along with the crowd
  1555. >Or the weak ones
  1556. >The rest are just silent
  1557. >Everyone is silent
  1558. >Then a stallion charges toward us
  1559. >Oh fuck yeah
  1560. >The rest quickly follow suit
  1561. >The Wonderbolts are quick and agile as shit
  1562. >You see them dodging and kicking ponies in the face
  1563. >The guards are bashing ponies back
  1564. >You can't contain yourself
  1565. >You have to join this
  1566. >You take a step forward, and Twilight pulls you back
  1567. >"What are you doing?!"
  1568. >You turn and smile at her
  1569. "I'm gonna have some fun."
  1570. >Blue grins
  1571. >"I'm in."
  1572.  
  1573. >You jump into the mosh pit of ponies and just start fucking punching them all in the face
  1574. >PETA would hang you for this shit
  1575. >You see a pony turn to you and snarl
  1576. "Oooh! Want some of this?"
  1577. >They charge at you
  1578. >You move slightly to the left and grab them
  1579. >Fucking SUPLEX!!
  1580. >Damn, there they go!
  1581. >You see another one running towards you
  1582. >You pretend not to notice
  1583. >Then they get closer
  1584. >You fucking punt them
  1585. "OOOH, HAHA! THREE POINTS!"
  1586. >You're enjoying this shit too much
  1587. >Pretty sure everyone is looking at you in horror
  1588. >You see the Wonderbolts being cornered nearby
  1589. >You push through the crowd and tackle a stallion
  1590. >You throw him at the other ponies
  1591. >They all go down like fucking bowling pins
  1592. >The pony you heard talking earlier just stares at you
  1593. >Then smiles
  1594. >"That, was pretty cool."
  1595. >You shrug
  1596. "Eh, I try."
  1597. >A pony jumps on your fucking back and tries to strangle you
  1598. "Not today, motherfucker!"
  1599. >You jump and land on your back
  1600. >The pony wheezes
  1601. >"Ow..."
  1602. >You turn and start throwing gang signs
  1603. "WEST SIDE, SOOOON! UH, BITCH!"
  1604. >Then you suddenly get punched in the face and fall
  1605. >3 fucking stallions jump and tackle you
  1606. >Two pin your arms, and the third one tries to-
  1607. >Nope, you kicked him in the dick
  1608. >He writhes in pain while some other ponies take him away
  1609. >Then, said ponies hop on top of you
  1610. >They just fucking pile on top of you until you can barely move
  1611. >"Soarin, Fleetfoot, keep these guys occupied! I'll help this one out!"
  1612. >You see that same Wonderbolt come out and kick a stallion in the fucking face
  1613. >Your right arm is free
  1614. >All those lonely nights help you out a ton
  1615. >You grab a pony on top of you by the tail and throw her
  1616. >The Wonderbolt is pushing and kicking them off
  1617. >The rest tilt and fall like a damn Jenga tower, knocking out that one guy that was still holding you down
  1618. >You're free
  1619. >The Wonderbolt scans you
  1620. >"You all good?"
  1621. >You stand up and brush yourself off
  1622. "Yup. Thanks for that."
  1623.  
  1624. >She simply nods and rejoins her team
  1625. >You watch the guard bashing a few more ponies unconscious
  1626. >For the most part though, the whole town was taken down
  1627. >You see Blue, panting and smiling over a pile of ponies
  1628. >Damn
  1629. >You then notice that none of the ponies are even dead
  1630. >I mean, you'd figure in all of that, at least one pony would've died or broken something
  1631. >There were just bruises and small cuts everywhere
  1632. >It's like the damn ponies are made of taffy
  1633. >There was hardly any blood at all
  1634. >Well, at least you got the satisfaction of fucking up some ponies
  1635. >And without the mental burden of killing someone!
  1636. "Incoming Pegasi from Cloudsdale!"
  1637. >Wait what
  1638. >You look to the sky and see all these small, colorful things headed towards you from that floating city
  1639. >Oh hell no
  1640. >You're good on the ground, but if those fuckers are looking for a fight, they could just pull you up and drop you
  1641. >The four run back to you and join in staring at the ponies
  1642. >If you didn't have the possibility of getting killed here, it would've been an amazing sight
  1643. >WOULD'VE been
  1644. >"Stand guard!"
  1645. >"Hold!"
  1646. >"Stay in position!"
  1647.  
  1648. >The whole herd on Pegasi stop just above Fluttershy's cottage
  1649. >And you almost forgot for a second that a war broke out in her backyard
  1650. >One older Pegasus flies down before one of the bat-pony guards
  1651. >Wait, bat-pony?
  1652. >How did you not notice that before?
  1653. >Of course Luna wasn't against crossbreeds
  1654. >Her whole guard consisted of them
  1655. >And I'm sure that Celestia just agreed with her sister to avoid another dramatic banishment or disagreement
  1656. >It all makes sense now!
  1657. >You watch the batpony and the old Pegasus dude talking to each other
  1658. >It looks like they're both captains of some kind
  1659. >Then their voices start to raise
  1660. >That one Wonderbolt looks at you-
  1661. >-Man, you really needed her name
  1662. >"I don't think this conversations getting friendly anytime soon. We gotta escort you guys out of here."
  1663. >She barks some orders at the others, then next thing you know, you're being carried through the air
  1664. >It'd be a pleasant experience if you had some kind of harness or basket to sit in
  1665. >But they just carried you by your arms
  1666. >And you screamed
  1667. >A lot.
  1668. >In the midst of freaking the absolute fuck out, you can see everyone fighting down below
  1669. >Looks like you just officially started a civil war
  1670. >Wonder if they'll actually have a Confederate and Union side here
  1671. >You may of just started a huge fucking war
  1672. >All because you gave a pony your sandwich
  1673. >Holy shit
  1674. >And it wasn't even a good sandwich
  1675.  
  1676. >Soon enough, you find yourself in the Princess' castle
  1677. >Canterlot was the original destination, but because of all the things being thrown at you, Peep and Blue, the Head Wonderbolt lady decided against it
  1678. >And you still didn't know her name
  1679. >But now you were staying in the castle
  1680. >You'd been here before, but only because nobody knew what the fuck you were
  1681. >Both princesses kept an eye on you to see if you were good enough to be trusted
  1682. >Then Celestia donated a house to you and had you stay in Ponyville
  1683. >THEN gave Twilight the job of watching over you
  1684. >And to vaporize you if you did anything wrong
  1685. >Which then slowly turned into a dysfunctional, but pleasant friendship between you and the Elements
  1686. >And shit, now you were here, essentially like the MLK Jr. of Equestria
  1687. >And you were pretty sure you were going to be assassinated at some point
  1688. >Someone out there was probably plotting far worse than a fight
  1689. >The Wonderbolts closed the castle doors and waited for the guards to lock them before sighing and taking off their flying suits
  1690. >"Celestia I could use a shower right now."
  1691. >"That was pretty fun though, right?"
  1692. >The unnamed Wonderbolt smiles for a moment and looks at the two
  1693. >"I probably wouldn't get too comfortable though. Anything can happen."
  1694. >She looks at the guards for a second
  1695. >"Anything."
  1696. >So from there, you're escorted to see Celestia
  1697. >But apparently she had more important things to do than deal with a civil war in her own country, so she just sends the eight of you to some room "for your own safety"
  1698. >But the room was amazing
  1699. >It was like some 5 star hotel shit
  1700. >Complete with an open bar
  1701. >It was apparently some guest area for traveling delegates to rest
  1702. >It was like your own personal Equestrian man-cave
  1703. >Despite what the Wonderbolt said
  1704. >Or, as you finally know as Spitfire,
  1705. >Everyone got pretty damn comfortable pretty damn quick
  1706. >There weren't even any guards posted to stare at you 24/7
  1707. >And suddenly, starting a war just fucking paid off
  1708.  
  1709. >You hit the bar up first
  1710. >And with what just finished happening, everyone felt the same
  1711. >Besides Peep, Fluttershy and Twilight
  1712. >Those losers
  1713. >You had thought about where the hell the rest of the six were, but according to Twilight, this huge holographic map sent them to go solve a 'friendship problem'
  1714. >Whatever that meant
  1715. >You'd figure that the Princess of Friendship would be the one out to solve that shit
  1716. >And you'd be wrong
  1717. >And now you were chatting around with the Wonderbolts and Blue over the bar
  1718. >"...So why are you so tall? And hairless?"
  1719. >"Sweet Celestia Soarin, you can't just ask people why they're hairless!"
  1720. "-Nah, it's fine, it's fine. I was just born like this. I do shave sometimes though."
  1721. >The stallion nods and takes another sip of his drink
  1722. >Meanwhile, you don't notice how silent Peep is across the room
  1723. >Or how much Blue is drinking
  1724. >Spitfire smiles at you
  1725. >"So you seemed pretty strong back there in Ponyville. Are you pretty fast, too?"
  1726. >Back on Earth, the only thing fast was your PC
  1727. "Not even close.Our species is more for stamina and stuff."
  1728. >Everyone's ears perk up
  1729. >You and Soarin don't even notice
  1730. "I remember hearing once about how our ancestors used to hunt. They'd just follow the animals and stuff around until they just, died."
  1731. >Soarin laughs
  1732. >"Man, that is so damn creepy!"
  1733. >You shrug
  1734. "Hey, it worked, right?"
  1735. >He nods
  1736. >You still don't notice how silent everyone but you and Soarin are
  1737. >You both start talking about Earth
  1738. >Well, you talk about Earth; he just listens
  1739. >You mention the Blue Angels, skydiving and everything cool related to the sky that you knew through either video games or movies
  1740. >He seems to think Earth is the greatest damn place ever
  1741. >So you decide not to list the things that make the place hell
  1742. >Spitfire and Fleetfoot are just as interested as Soarin
  1743. >Blue listens, but doesn't offer much in the way of words
  1744. >At this point, you kind of forgot about Peep, Fluttershy and Twilight
  1745. >Your thoughts were getting hazy
  1746.  
  1747. >The more time that passes, you notice Blue starting to get more comfortable
  1748. >She pitches in with the stories she told you the other day
  1749. >You were a bit skeptical on whether the stories were completely true or not, until she busts out pictures
  1750. >They were all horribly incriminating pictures of her and her friends with all the shit she told you they stole
  1751. >Couldn't deny it now
  1752. >Blue was still pretty badass
  1753. >Soon, her and the Wonderbolts take to talking about Pegasus crap you knew nothing about
  1754. >You decide to simply drink and imagine yourself playing Skyrim
  1755. >Then Peep flies over and sits next to you
  1756. >You pause the game
  1757. "Eeey Peep! 'Chu doin' here? Thought you were talking to Flutter Butter and the Princess of Loserness over there?"
  1758. >"HEY!"
  1759. >You laugh
  1760. >Peep plays with her hooves
  1761. >"Y-yeah, but I wanted to talk to you..."
  1762. "'Bout what? Wanna hear more cool stories about Earth? Wanna hear of another great Pandoran tale?"
  1763. >Peep doesn't understand the obvious Borderlands reference
  1764. >Fuckin' pleb
  1765. >"A-actually, I wanted to talk about yesterday..."
  1766. "OOOH, yesterday? Did you see how I was punching ponies in the face and shit like BAM and POW and everything? How about that one I punted to outer space?-"
  1767. >"-I wanted to talk about something else from yesterday..."
  1768. "Well come on then! I ain't getting any sober-er!"
  1769. >She pauses, then looks straight at you
  1770. >"Y-yesterday, when you were out of it, you were talking..."
  1771. >You nod
  1772. "Aaand?"
  1773. >"A-and you talked about all the things you lost..."
  1774. >She pauses again and breathes
  1775. >"Y-you asked yourself if I was worth it. Worth losing everything you had. B-but you never answered yourself..."
  1776. >Another deep breath
  1777. >"A-am... am I worth it, Anon?"
  1778. >You smile and hold a hand to your chin
  1779. "We're comparing monetary value here? Oookay! Well then, you don't have 4K HD, which kinda sucks. Joey was like, 5 bucks, and since you're a living thing too, you'd be 5 bucks. You're no house either, so I guess all in all, you're worth 5 bucks!"
  1780. >You smile
  1781. >"...I know that's not Equestrian currency you're talking about. Is... is 5 bucks a lot?"
  1782. >You laugh
  1783. >Really hard
  1784. "Shit, maybe when you're a little kid, yeah!"
  1785. >You're too busy laughing to see Peep fly away with tears in her eyes
  1786. >Mostly because YOU had tears in your eyes
  1787. >From laughing.
  1788. >...You dick.
  1789. >You notice that Peep flew away, most likely content with her new monetary value
  1790. >You take a moment to wonder how much you're worth
  1791. >Ooh, easily 400, that's for sure
  1792. >Blue now flies over to you while the Wonderbuddies just talk about other things
  1793. >You weren't paying any attention
  1794. >Blue doesn't even start off with a friendly greeting
  1795. >"Do you like me?"
  1796. >You take another sip of... whatever you got and smile at her
  1797. >She drunkenly smiles back
  1798. "Do I like you? Shit, of course I do!"
  1799. >She beams
  1800. "You remind me of my friends back home!"
  1801. >Her smile falters a bit
  1802. >"Not like that! I mean..."
  1803. >She gives you a seductive look
  1804. >You don't notice
  1805. >You're not a perceptive drunk
  1806. >"Do you LIKE me? In, you know... the other way?"
  1807. >She puffs her chest up a bit
  1808. >It looks so fluffy
  1809. "Heh, what other way is there? And man, you look so soft! Can, can I- I'm just gonna hug you."
  1810. >You hug her
  1811. >Holy fucking shit, she IS soft
  1812. >You don't hear Peep whimper in the background
  1813. >You laugh
  1814. >"Goddamn it, how can I make this anymore obvious Anon?" Blue whispers
  1815. "Huh, what?"
  1816. >"Nothing."
  1817. >After pushing you off, Blue flies back to her seat and Spitfire looks at you
  1818. >"You know, you should totally hang out with us sometime. You're a pretty cool guy."
  1819. "Fuck YEAH I am! Hangin' out would be awesome! Better than being with these un-fun LOOOOOSERS!"
  1820. >Peep whimpers even louder
  1821. >Blue's staring at the wall
  1822. >Fluttershy and Twilight are glaring at you beside Peep
  1823. "We DEFINITELY needa do this shit again, guys!"
  1824. >Soarin, Fleetfoot and Spitfire all smile
  1825. >Nobody else is
  1826. >You fucked up, Anon
  1827.  
  1828. >Your head
  1829. >Your eyes
  1830. >Your throat
  1831. >Everything hurts
  1832. >You groan and get up from bed
  1833. >You must've downed half the castle's fucking liquor for a hangover this bad
  1834. >You just hoped you managed NOT to say something stupid or hurtful last night
  1835. >The last time you drank a lot, you ended up telling a friend you didn't give a flying fuck about his relationship
  1836. >And, well, you DIDN'T, but it still was a fucked up thing to say
  1837. >Needless to say, you lost a friend that night
  1838. >And became one step closer to being a social recluse
  1839. >Eh, oh well
  1840. >That was the past
  1841. >And the present, although still horrible and fucked up, was still significantly better
  1842. >Until you got killed somehow
  1843. >But it seemed a lot less likely now, with all this crazy castle security and stuff
  1844. >Your door busts open, and Twilight is standing there with a scared and pissed off look
  1845. >"Peep is gone."
  1846. >You spit your imaginary drink and stare at Twilight
  1847. "You're joking, right? You GOTTA be joking."
  1848. >Twilight shakes her head and glares
  1849. >"You seem awfully surprised, seeing how you're the one who drove her away."
  1850. "What? The fuck you talking about, Twilight?"
  1851. >She just continues glaring at you
  1852. >"Figure it out yourself."
  1853. >She throws a slip of paper at you and walks off
  1854. >You pick it up and read it
  1855. >'I'm sorry I was never good enough for you, Anon. The very short time we had together was something I'll keep with me forever. It was stupid of me to ever think I could be happy. You deserve someone better, Anon, someone worth something. Me? I'm just.. worthless. Goodbye, Anon, I wish you well.'
  1856. >You hold the note still in your hands
  1857. >You don't breathe
  1858. >You don't move
  1859. >You can't think
  1860. >Nobody else is to blame here
  1861. >You drove her away
  1862. >NOW, you truly have nothing
  1863. >Material items was one thing
  1864. >But Peep was much more
  1865. >You neglected her
  1866. >Ignored her
  1867. >Probably called her worthless
  1868. >How are you worth any more?
  1869. >You can't just stand here and do nothing though
  1870. >You have to catch here
  1871. >Wherever she is
  1872. >She couldn't have gone far
  1873.  
  1874. >You don't say goodbye
  1875. >You COULDN'T say goodbye
  1876. >Judging by how Twilight acted, you didn't say very many nice things last night
  1877. >Fluttershy avoids your eyes while you pass by her
  1878. >You're about to open the doors out of there when Blue stops you
  1879. >"Where are you going?"
  1880. >Her voice sounds different
  1881. >It's not as tough and joyful as it usually was
  1882. >It sounds...
  1883. >Defeated
  1884. "I have to go find Peep."
  1885. >She glances at the floor for a split second
  1886. >"I'm helping."
  1887. "What? Why?"
  1888. >She seems to think about it
  1889. >"Because Peep would do the same."
  1890. >The way she said that almost sounded like a question
  1891. >Like she was asking you to buy an excuse
  1892. >But an excuse for what?
  1893. >Fuck it, you'll ask about it later
  1894. "Alrighty then, let's go."
  1895. >Instead of just, walking out of the castle, you had to be carried away by Blue
  1896. >More than a few guards asked where we were headed, then told us of special orders to prevent us from leaving the castle
  1897. >Apparently, we were that important
  1898. >But a simple 'library visit' excuse was enough to pry them away
  1899. >"Any idea where she's at?" Blue panted
  1900. >You weren't exactly light
  1901. >Well, compared to the ponies
  1902. >On Earth...
  1903. >Well, that was a different story
  1904. >You were fucking huge
  1905. >Many chairs were broken in your house
  1906. >Then there was a moment you decided to change, better yourself
  1907. >You slimmed down
  1908. >Then started talking to those friends
  1909. >Got bored of hearing about their problems
  1910. >And became a slim recluse
  1911. >Oh how you wish you were just back home
  1912. >As great as the whole experience had been -aside from this-
  1913. >Games didn't require so much drama and fighting and shit
  1914. >Well, depending on what you chose
  1915. >But this shit was both mentally and physically exhausting
  1916. >Just, again, not right now
  1917. >But only because Blue was flying you
  1918. >And trying not to struggle
  1919. >For you two going on this huge and important quest
  1920. >You both sure looked fucking stupid right now
  1921.  
  1922. "I only remember Peep telling me that she used to fly South to find a town nice enough to stay in... She could also be heading back up to... wherever she lived, to find her mom."
  1923. >"So either way, we're winging it?"
  1924. "Pretty much."
  1925. >"Man... What did you say to her?"
  1926. >You stared at the ground
  1927. >Despite being so high up, you didn't flinch at the sight
  1928. >Most likely because...
  1929. >Nah.
  1930. "I'm not sure, but it wasn't pretty."
  1931. >"Hm."
  1932. >You both are silent for a while before something clicks in your mind
  1933. "Did... did I say something stupid to you, too? If I did, I'm sorry-"
  1934. >"-Nah, you didn't even talk to me. You're alright."
  1935. >You don't buy that
  1936. >At all
  1937. "...What did I say?"
  1938. >Blue is quiet
  1939. >"...Doesn't matter. It's nothing."
  1940. >Why do people do this shit?
  1941. >When it's 'nothing', it's always fucking something
  1942. >You drop the subject
  1943. >...
  1944. >Blue's getting tired
  1945. >Real tired
  1946. >You both weren't sure whether you were just going to fly to the next town or what
  1947. >But now you couldn't
  1948. >And of course, she got tired right in the middle of the Everfree Forest
  1949. >You've heard so many damn scary stories about this place
  1950. >So many stupid adventures into here from the six
  1951. >And now, you were both going to be stuck in the middle of it
  1952. >The most shit you knew about survival was picked up from games
  1953. >Blue only knew about surviving in the city
  1954. >This was going to be fucking fun
  1955. >Blue tried to force herself further
  1956. >Then she just couldn't fly
  1957. >A wing cramped up, and you both fell out of the sky
  1958. >You tumbled and crashed into a tree
  1959. >Blue tried her best to stay in the air, but fell and ended up in a huge bush
  1960. >You brushed yourself off and recovered
  1961. >Before you could help Blue out, she was already on her hooves
  1962. >She clutched her wing
  1963. >"I, I think I sprained it, or something..."
  1964. >Well shit
  1965. >Now you both really AREN'T flying out of there
  1966. >You look around at your surroundings
  1967. >Everything's dark
  1968. >Like, Compton dark
  1969. >It's scary
  1970. >You hear some howling and shit in the distance
  1971. >You're screwed.
  1972.  
  1973. >Alright, well, you gotta find some place to hole up
  1974. >Shelter, food and water
  1975. >The basics
  1976. >A cave or something should do good
  1977. >You usher Blue to follow you
  1978. >She puts on a brave face
  1979. >You don't
  1980. >You're fucking scared shitless
  1981. >You can't be brave
  1982. >You're probably super close to just being destroyed by fucking wolves or some shit
  1983. >You walk blindly into the forest, continuing to go South
  1984. >...You think
  1985. >Not more than 10 minutes in, you spot a house thing
  1986. >It's made of what looks like twigs and crap
  1987. >Not very stable looking
  1988. >But blends in pretty well
  1989. >Good thing you're a perceptive person
  1990. >It's also a good thing your hangover is a few minutes from fucking off
  1991. >You slowly crouch up to the building and peek inside it
  1992. >Nobody's home
  1993. >It seems abandoned
  1994. >You think back of all the horror movies that ended up like this
  1995. >Fuck it, you can take 'em
  1996. >The place is pretty small, so you were certain the one occupying it would be, too
  1997. >You both go inside
  1998. >There's a blanket on the floor and a small pillow
  1999. >There's a box beside it
  2000. >You peek inside
  2001. >There's gems, jewelry, watches
  2002. >Just loads of shiny looking shit
  2003. >Maybe the place wasn't unoccupied after all
  2004. >You hear some rustling nearby and duck into the place
  2005. >Blue follows
  2006. >"Do you think that's the owner coming back?"
  2007. >You shrug and keep quiet
  2008. >Suddenly, you see a pony walk inside
  2009. >They're wearing some kind of cloak or something
  2010. >You don't know if it's just how fucking dark it is in the forest, but you're pretty sure that they're colored back
  2011. >Wow, a black pony with most likely stolen items
  2012. >You don't even need a racist joke here
  2013. >She/he looks at you and freaks the hell out
  2014. >And starts making some weird noises
  2015. >Almost like...
  2016. >Oh god, don't tell me
  2017. >It's another birdpony
  2018. >"WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU?!"
  2019. >Again, another female
  2020. >She spreads her wings and ruffles the feathers
  2021. "Woah, calm down, calm down! We're not here to hurt you!"
  2022. >"Why should I trust you?!"
  2023. >Hmm, good point
  2024. "I dunno."
  2025. >Nice
  2026.  
  2027. >You feel Blue starting to ruffle her own feathers
  2028. >You remembered what Fluttershy told you about her
  2029. >She was vicious
  2030. >You also saw that shit firsthand
  2031. "Blue, calm down. Don't attack or anything."
  2032. >She surprisingly calms very quickly
  2033. >The other pony starts to calm down, too, though not much
  2034. "Look, if we were here to hurt you, wouldn't we have, already? You're already outnumbered here."
  2035. >She thinks about it for a moment, then takes off her hood
  2036. >Turns out she was wearing a hoodie
  2037. >A very tattered one
  2038. >She's pretty much completely dark, aside from her huge blue eyes
  2039. >It was the only real visible feature
  2040. >Her coat was a light grey color and her mane was shade lighter than pure black
  2041. >You didn't see much point of the hoodie, most likely because it was a lighter color than her coat, but you remembered hearing how cold this damn forest got at night
  2042. >You just hoped you didn't have to experience it
  2043. >"What are you here for? What are you doing in my nest?"
  2044. >Wow, she actually referred to it as a nest
  2045. >Well if there was any doubt, that just confirmed that she was definitely a birdpony
  2046. >Blue tries spreading her wing and winces
  2047. >"We crashed here."
  2048. >"From where?"
  2049. "Canterlot."
  2050. >She glances at the box of shiny things and back at you
  2051. >"Canterlot?"
  2052. >You nod
  2053. >Was this pony a klepto or something?
  2054. >"Why did you come here from Canterlot?"
  2055. "We're uh, trying to find a friend. She ran away just this morning. Think she headed South."
  2056. >"She doesn't happen to be grey, does she? Brown eyes?"
  2057. >You vigorously nod
  2058. "Where'd she go?!"
  2059. >"South, just like you said. She told me she just wanted to 'get away from everything'."
  2060. "Can you show us exactly where she went?!"
  2061. >She furrows a brow
  2062. >"Sure. But it'll cost you."
  2063. >You feel Blue getting closer to you
  2064. >You ignore it
  2065. "How much?"
  2066. >"Oh, I'm not asking for bits. Just a visit to Canterlot after we find her."
  2067. >Holy shit, and here you thought she wanted your soul
  2068. >Well, if you had one, anyways
  2069. "Deal."
  2070. >You get up, and Blue nearly falls backwards
  2071.  
  2072. >The pony throws the items from the box into a backpack and heads out the door
  2073. >"Let's get a move on, then! Don't want to be out after dark, that's for sure."
  2074. >You and Blue walk out and follow her
  2075. "What's your name, anyways?"
  2076. >She thinks about it for a moment, as if to think whether it was a good idea to tell you two
  2077. >"Jackie. And you?"
  2078. "Oh, I'm Anon, and this is Blue."
  2079. >You point at Blue and notice her blank stare
  2080. >You've seen that a lot since Fluttershy's house
  2081. >Maybe the fight did something to her?
  2082. >You hear some growling in the background
  2083. >Jackie instinctively jumps into a tree and hangs onto the branch
  2084. >She was also completely silent while doing it
  2085. >This pony was crazy fucking quiet
  2086. >What bird was she?
  2087. >You didn't know much about birds at all, and the only thing that you thought of was a crow
  2088. >But that weird call thing she made earlier didn't sound like any crow you've heard
  2089. >Probably the same family, though
  2090. >She hops back down when the growling stops and notices your confused look
  2091. >"Better to be safe than sorry in this forest. Anything here can get you."
  2092. >On cue, you hear a very faint howl
  2093. >...
  2094. >The walking is fucking boring
  2095. >According to Jackie, it has to be, because the fucking things in this forest can apparently hear really damn far
  2096. >It was like walking through a black neighborhood
  2097. >Only, instead of taking your stuff and probably beating the shit out of you, they just fucking kill you and eat you
  2098. >Well, whichever part you went through determined how bad you got it
  2099. >Some kind of gang neighborhood would just shoot you in the face without asking
  2100. >...God, this is boring
  2101. >Of course your main focus of this all is to get Peep back, but why couldn't you get some kind of enjoyment out of it?
  2102. >Where's the damn crazy montage scene?
  2103. >The monster battl-
  2104. >Fucking howl
  2105. >NO monster battles
  2106. >But where was all the fun and adventure shit?
  2107. >Were things seriously only interesting when you ended up in fucking dang-
  2108. >-OH FUCK
  2109.  
  2110. >You start tumbling down a hill
  2111. >You're smashing into twigs and leaves and shit
  2112. >You're making a huge racket
  2113. >As if you could fucking stop yourself
  2114. >You hit the bottom and feel stupidly dizzy
  2115. >At least that could be classified as exciting
  2116. >Blue and Jackie fly down toward you
  2117. >"You alright, Anon?"
  2118. "Fuck, I'm fine, Blue. I think."
  2119. >"That made a lot of noise. I suggest we find somewhere to hide before-"
  2120. >You hear a growl
  2121. >Oh shit
  2122. >In the surrounding trees are pairs of yellow eyes
  2123. >Well, looks like there's going to be a monster battle anyways
  2124. >You were gonna go all Liam Neeson on these fuckers
  2125. >But you don't have any weapons
  2126. >7 of the damn bastards emerge from the trees
  2127. >Jackie and Blue back against the hill you just finished falling down
  2128. "Guys. Fly away."
  2129. >They both give you a worried look
  2130. >"I'm not leaving you, Anon!"
  2131. "Oh come on, don't do this sappy movie bullshit! Get out of here!"
  2132. >Blue shakes her head quickly
  2133. >"No! I won't lose you!"
  2134. >Not succumbing to the shit movie cliches, you settle for a small, unamused look
  2135. "Just go already."
  2136. >Jackie nudges Blue as the... what the fuck were they called -woody wolves or some shit- come closer to you all
  2137. >Blue gives you one last look before Jackie helps fly her up the hill
  2138. >Alright, well, you asked for something to happen, and here it was
  2139. >Now what the hell were you gonna do?
  2140. >These wolf things were made out of wood, but they were pretty damn big, and there was seven of them
  2141. >Alright, so the two were safe and sound
  2142. >Only one thing to do now...
  2143. >You clench your fists and glare at the wolves
  2144. >Then turn around and start frantically climbing up the hill, screaming the whole time
  2145. "I DON'T WANT TO DIIIIIE!"
  2146. >One clamps down on your leg and tries to pull you down
  2147. >You kick the shit out of it and continue scrambling
  2148. >You slip and feel another grab your leg
  2149. >And another
  2150. >You feel like you're in some sort of goddamned zombie movie
  2151. >And you're the poor unlucky and untalented fuck to die
  2152. >Well, you asked for adventure.
  2153.  
  2154. >You see a beam of magic whizz past you and hear one of the bitches yelping
  2155. >You sink further, and a wolf bites down on your thigh
  2156. >It fucking hurts like shit
  2157. >Another beam
  2158. >You sink
  2159. >One gets your stomach
  2160. >Another your shoulder
  2161. >You can't move because of how much pain you're feeling
  2162. >Beam
  2163. >You fruitlessly reach for the hill
  2164. >The wolves clamp down harder
  2165. >More beams
  2166. >You start to feel less pressure
  2167. >You don't want to move
  2168. >"ANON!"
  2169. >You see Twilight flying down to you, crown and everything
  2170. >Blue and Jackie join quickly
  2171. >You don't know if you have any serious damage or anything, but shit hurts everywhere
  2172. >You're still lying on your stomach on the hill
  2173. >You're at a pretty odd angle because of how steep the thing was
  2174. >You hear a few small gasps
  2175. "It, uh... it's not that bad, is it?"
  2176. >They don't answer
  2177. >Blue whimpers
  2178. >Twilight's breathing erratically
  2179. "Guys, you're worrying me."
  2180. >No answer
  2181. >You take a deep breath and turn around, now having your back to the hill
  2182. >You see blood on your left shoulder, but it's not much considering
  2183. >You look near your waist and-
  2184. >Oh.
  2185. >There's a missing piece of your side
  2186. >You literally lost your sides
  2187. >Your left is bleeding like shit
  2188. >There's a huge gash on your right leg
  2189. >Chunk missing on left
  2190. "Fuck me."
  2191. >Blue is turned away while Jackie just brushes her hair and soothes her
  2192. >Twilight inspects you
  2193. "So, please tell me you have some magic shit to help me here."
  2194. >She shakes her head
  2195. "Oh come on! Your Cutie Mark is in MAGIC. Isn't there SOMETHING you can do?"
  2196. >"Well maybe if you didn't run off, I wouldn't NEED to do something!!"
  2197. >You roll your eyes
  2198. >She kinda got you there
  2199. >But you still had to find Peep
  2200. >Somehow...
  2201.  
  2202. >"I-I don't know what to do from here!"
  2203. "So, teleporting me to a hospital isn't an option? Canterlot?"
  2204. >Another head shake
  2205. >"I only found you because of all the noise you were making! We're in the middle of the forest!"
  2206. >Because I didn't know that
  2207. "Well doctor, how bad is it anyways? I'm missing a few pieces, but I don't think they hit anything important."
  2208. >"But you're losing too much blood!!"
  2209. "Jesus, okay, calm down."
  2210. >Fuck it, you're used to losing blood
  2211. >You donated a lot
  2212. >Sure, it was all to your mom, but...
  2213. >Never mind
  2214. >You stand up against everything telling you not to and walk a few steps
  2215. >Feels like there's some assholes with water guns full of lemon juice just firing at you
  2216. >But you manage to walk
  2217. "Okay, can't we find some giant-ass leaves or something for a bandage?"
  2218. >You're surprised how well you're taking everything
  2219. >Being attacked by wolves and a near-death experience
  2220. >But you don't actually feel that it'll KILL you
  2221. >"Big leaves?"
  2222. "No, big dicks- YES big leaves! Just grab some small ones and make that shit bigger!"
  2223. >Twilight does just that
  2224. >You try to wrap them around your wounds, but you don't know shit about bandaging
  2225. >You eventually get them wrapped up, but it looks like shit
  2226. >You're also sure it'll get infected or something
  2227. >Meh, fuck it
  2228. >You keep walking
  2229. >"A-Anon, you can't keep walking like that!"
  2230. "Of course I fucking can, what am I doing now? Jesus, it's like you all WANT me to fucking die!"
  2231. >To be honest though, that kind of made sense
  2232. >Especially with-
  2233. >Nah, fuck off, brain
  2234. >You gotta find Peep!
  2235.  
  2236. >...Peep...
  2237. >You... you're the reason she left, aren't you?
  2238. >Drunk or not, you did it
  2239. >You drove her off
  2240. >And here you were, bored out of your mind
  2241. >But you weren't here for fun
  2242. >You were here for Peep
  2243. >You never treated it that way
  2244. >You're too lost in your thoughts to hear the others calling for you
  2245. >You continue limping forward
  2246. >You HAVE to make this right
  2247. >You have to make amends!
  2248. >You're, you're the good guy!
  2249. >The hero!
  2250. >...Right?
  2251. >All that you've done so far doesn't seem it
  2252. >...But you defended Peep in that fight at Fluttershy's!
  2253. >Was that really for Peep though... or your own amusement?
  2254. >...That's right.
  2255. >You don't deserve her.
  2256. >After all the love and trust she put into you, you just throw her away.
  2257. "No, that's bullshit. I didn't-"
  2258. >You DIDN'T say she was worthless?
  2259. "Well fuck... I don't know-"
  2260. >You DIDN'T hesitate to help her in her time of need?
  2261. "Yeah, but that-"
  2262. >You don't really love her, do you?
  2263. "The fuck? Of course I d-"
  2264. "Because she loved you. More than you'd ever know."
  2265. >You peer into the darkness of the forest
  2266. >Twilight can't find you
  2267. >They all heard you talking to yourself
  2268. >You keep walking
  2269. "Where are you going?"
  2270. "Why are you going?"
  2271. >I've got to find Peep
  2272. "You keep walking. Then you finally see it."
  2273. "It's Peep."
  2274. "She's sitting on a branch. She looks at you."
  2275. "What's up?"
  2276. "You found her. You finally found her."
  2277. "Now, you can rest."
  2278. >Forever."
  2279.  
  2280. >...
  2281. "Oh my god, this is priceless."
  2282. >You hold the papers in your hand as you read the last sentence. There were almost forty pages of the stuff.
  2283. >You found Blu's fan fiction about you.
  2284. >You expected more of her writing to involve you and her just kissing and shit, but you were wrong.
  2285. >That still didn't make the whole thing any less crap, though.
  2286. >The door opens, and Blu steps inside with a smile on her face.
  2287. >Her eyes stop on you, then gaze at the paper.
  2288. >Her whole expression falls.
  2289. >You smile and wave the papers at her, enjoying every second of it.
  2290. "Forgetting something?"
  2291. >"H-how did you find it?"
  2292. "I have my ways. GREAT read though!"
  2293. >Her face goes red while her eyes trail to the floor.
  2294. >"I...I have a lot of readers that depend on me! They send me letters and stuff, and I-I-"
  2295. "You couldn't've been more original with the self-insert though?"
  2296. >"W-what do you mean?"
  2297. "Your name is Blu, and the pony in here is named Blue. You're a Bluebird, she's a BlueJAY. Obvious self-insert here."
  2298. >"If you didn't know me, you'd of never known that!"
  2299. "Well tough shit, because I do! And what the hell happened to me at the end of this?"
  2300. >Blu rubs her hooves and stares at the paper, embarrassed to all hell.
  2301. >"It's, it's implied that you die, from all the blood loss, makes you all loopy and stuff..."
  2302. "Wow. That's really edgy. You're really edgy, Blu."
  2303. >"Shut up! Just, get out of my room!"
  2304. "Hey, I actually came here to invite you for lunch. Me and Peep are gonna go grab some fries, want in?"
  2305. >Her muzzle scrunches for a moment while she thinks about it.
  2306. "I won't talk about your fanfic."
  2307. >She looks up at you.
  2308. >"I, I don't know... One of my readers told me I shouldn't do anything but write..."
  2309. >This pony had a problem.
  2310. "Looks like you've done enough of that."
  2311. >She makes a long, exaggerated sigh,
  2312. >"I guueess."
  2313. "That's the spirit. Now let's get out of here."
  2314.  
  2315. >Anon walks out of the room
  2316. >You go back inside and quickly grab a notepad and put a pencil between your ear
  2317. "Juust in case."
  2318.  
  2319. >Now you were sitting down over a basket of fries with Peep and Anon
  2320. >Spending so much time ignoring people for that story hopefully paid off
  2321. >You felt it was bit of an abrupt ending, but you weren't completely used to creating long pieces
  2322. >At all
  2323. >You didn't know how some authors did it
  2324. >You felt yourself so entranced in the story at some parts, even going to far as to skipping eating and sleeping to finish a single part...
  2325. >You know what?
  2326. >You should be proud
  2327. >You wrote like, 15 thousand words
  2328. >Compared to all the other small stories you've made, it was a great thing
  2329. >Also, there was your horrible procrastinating habit
  2330. >You really needed to fix that
  2331. >But you finally did it
  2332. >Although probably not that well
  2333. >Seriously, the ending bugs you more than the one from that one game Anon told you about
  2334. >What was it?
  2335. >Oh, Mass Effect 3
  2336. >Right
  2337. >It didn't sound that great
  2338. >"Blu, you haven't even touched the fries. Still getting used to being outside?"
  2339. >You idly picked a few and continued thinking
  2340. >Your eyes wandered to Peep and Anon
  2341. >It was obvious they liked each other
  2342. >A lot
  2343. >That was why it made so much sense in your story
  2344. >Even the roof collapsing in Anon's house was true
  2345. >Just, not the hate, the war, Twilight being mean...
  2346. >Pretty much a lot more than half of it
  2347. >But there was definitely a connection thing here between the two
  2348. >Probably one you weren't able to convey very great
  2349. >You still don't know much about Anon, but you tried your best
  2350. >You just knew he cursed a lot
  2351. >He also cared about Peep very much
  2352. >Probably not enough to be as rude as he was in your story though
  2353. >You wondered if he picked anything up from it
  2354. >Wondered if it helped him get the courage to say something
  2355. >It was obvious the two were waiting for the other to make a move
  2356. >Maybe you could write a romance about it?
  2357. >...Nah
  2358. >You smile and sigh
  2359. >After what seemed like a wild adventure in your own room, you wondered if your life could ever get that exciting
  2360. >But who knows?
  2361. >Maybe it would today?

Bird Pone Thread (Complete)

by Bluebirdd065

Bird Pone Thread: Blu (Discontinued)

by Bluebirdd065

Anonfilly Thread (Complete)

by Bluebirdd065

Little League Thread (Complete)

by Bluebirdd065

Little League Thread: League and Anon HQ (Discontinued)

by Bluebirdd065