Anonymous, the Singing Golem

 

6 months later

 

12 years later

 

30 years until you are fully ready

 

7 days later

 

One minute until you are fixed

 

4 months later

 

[Chapter 1: Mains Hum]

 

”Here we go again.”

 

 

“Greetings, friend. My name is Anonymous. I’m from a far away planet called Earth.”

“Friend? Gah. You’re so stupid. Come on. It’s a worm.”

 

“?”

 

“The fuck?”

 

“Not currently, no.”

“I had only arrived on this planet a week ago. I did not know that it was inhabited by sentient beings.”

“Why? Why is this happening.”

“Huh?

“I’m sorry, I won’t be digging here again.”

“They’re long gone.”

“I’m going to sleep for a while.”

 

“Seriously?”

“Here we go.”

“Huh. This is going to be a doozy of a day.”

 

“Twilight. I’ve got the golem that Cadence told you to check out.”

“Ain’t no problem for this dragon.”

“So, I talked to the golem and it says it has no master.”

“Yeah, whoever is behind this guy seems like some sort of master craftspony.”

“Right… What does that mean exactly?”

 

 

“My apologies.”

 

 

“What is the circumference of the planet we are on?”

“My calculations determined that this planet is flat.”

“I used trigonometry and a compass.”

“I made a rudimentary dip needle from the native magnetite.”

“Magical field?”

“Magic?”

 

“Take a look at this.”

“I believe that this is something that may have to do with magic.”

 

“It’s currently deactivated.”

“Um… Anonymous, I guess.”

 

“Magic has a color?”

“So why is it called colorless?”

 

“So, my engine here is a conduit that can do what exactly?”

“A dense alloy of many different metals. We called it ‘etherium.’ By mass, it’s contents are roughly 41% Platinum, 35% cadmium, 12% iridium, 11% vanadium, and 1% Strontium. It’s melted down at exactly 6258°C in a full vacuum and packed together tightly using artificial gravity. It’s then cooled down very gradually over several weeks, still in a full vacuum. It’s then cured in resin to keep it from rusting.”

 

“So, I now know what I wanted to know about magic. I very much appreciated your hospitality, I hope my own information that I shared would be sufficient enough to pay for my crime.”

“Humans.”

“If I may, why are you so interested in me?”

[End of Chapter one]

 

[Chapter 2: Light Pollution]

 

 

“Yes. I seem to be having an episode of insomnia.”

“Spike.”

“Do you know why you exist?”

“Why do I exist?”

“Friend…”

 

 

 

 

“Princess. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for me. If you have any needs that I may be assistance with, please do not hesitate to call upon me. I owe you that much.”

 

 

 

 

“I had never known what pain felt like until today.”

“I can make a basic scaffolding for a new hand and append the forearm using my nanomachines. I need some materials for the rest.”

“Can you manipulate gravity using magic?”

 

 

 

“Yes, I am Anonymous. I don’t mind a nickname. My designation as a golem is uninformed, as is the idea that I like to sing. I’d love to hear what songs you could share with me. My hand was destroyed in a process known as ‘Tonal Incompatibility.’ I’ve met your sister. If you want to hear me sing, then I shall oblige.”

“This is my song. I am singing.”

“Thank you for listening to my performance.”

 

“I’ve been on no other planets than this one. I was created on an orbital megastructure owned by the Savato Conglomerate. I was manufactured to be a janitorial unit on a space cruise in transit from the Mars colony towards the human homeworld of Earth. I was shipped onto the cruise and due to an accident, I was never able to visit any sort of planet or moon. I was equipped with a dense anionic fluoride power cell. I got all my power from the cruise’s onboard fusion reactor and etherium dynamos.”

“The Savato Conglomerate isn’t a company. It’s a literal conglomeration of artificial intelligences. It is the largest progenitor of androids in the solar system. It was started by an AI called ‘Savato,’ and that AI was able to convince others to fuse with it. The megastructures aren’t factories or space stations, it’s the conglomerates’ body. There are 28 different structures that orbit objects in the solar system. The largest being around the size of one of Saturn’s moons, Iapetus.”

“I was not preprogrammed with this information.”

“I was not programmed to be able to learn stuff like this. I am only supposed to be able to learn things pertaining to scheduled cleaning, preferences, and locations. I am unsure where I could have learned any of this. In fact, I shouldn’t be capable of such complex tasks such as holding such a conversation. Nor should I know what I’m supposed to know.”

“I… Don’t know.”

 

 

 

“I’ll talk to the team.”

 

“No, that’s not sufficient enough. The margin of error for this is only within 600 microns.”

“Scrap it and try again.”

“Does it not? From what I read, artifacts have intricate engravings just for that purpose.”

“What is this ’friendship magic’ that you speak of.”

 

[End of Chapter 2]

 

[Chapter 3: Neurath’s Boat]

 

“What a story, Twilight.”

“Why is the morphology of Alicorns significantly different from the Unicorn’s morphology? Much like you and your doppelgänger.”

“How did she help, exactly?”

 

“Okay. So, if I were to position it inclined against this flow… I’m still having trouble sensing it. The vibrations aren’t meshing correctly.”

“Don’t worry about the crystals, Maud. I think I have a better idea. You deal with the sapling. I think you would be better off spending some more time with Mudbriar.”

“Huh?”

“She did not.”

“Who is Josh?”

“Oh yes. The first mission that the map in this castle gave to them. You didn’t understand that all are equal because they’re unique. Twilight gave you a second chance after you tried to sever the magical connection she had with her friends by altering the past. You studied friendship under her guidance, and became ‘headmare’ of the school of friendship.”

“No, we skipped over some of the filler.”

“Is something troubling you, Starlight?”

“I have similar feelings. Not of regret, but more that I’ve forgotten something very important. I’ve searched within myself, and I have turned up empty in every facet. The worst part is that I have no metric to the magnitude of whatever eludes me. It can be a looming calamity, or a minor regret. It gnaws at my psyche in every moment that I am operable. I’ve talked to the two girls from the engineering team, and they can’t interface with any of my parts. They don’t have quantum computation at their disposal. The only real way to resolve this issue is to become more, so I can search deeper. That’s why I want magic. The pinpoint precision that can be achieved by telekinesis may allow me to create new tools to aid my search within. What I’m getting at here is that there may be no solution, but still each day there are others like you. Sharing the pain can make it go away. That’s what I’ve learned from my time here.”

“My compassion is born of empathy. I am confident enough to judge myself as no normal automaton. I may even consider myself to be a living thing at this point. I want to take initiative and make sure that no one goes through what I’ve been through.”

 

“I-I’m so….f..resh….. You. You can…”

“YOU CAN SUCK MY NUTS.”

 

“I can feel it slipping.”

“How’s that?”

“So, variations but with a pattern?”

“Oh yes the-“

 

“I don’t get it.”

“Okay, so I just have to read these books and-“

“Thank you, ‘Great and Powerful Trixie.’ I am learning how to cast spells.”

“Sounds good. I think I will.”

“My deepest gratitude, Headmare Starlight.”

 

“I’m quite fine, Trixie.”

“So. About magic. I’ve casted my first spell. I managed to levitate my body via telekinesis. I wasn’t able to lift myself very far, but I think I’m getting the hand of bending the arcana.”

“Hmm. I have an idea. Do you know any songs?”

“That was good. Thank you, Trixie.”

“YOU CAN CALL IT FAKE, BUT THIS IS REAL MAGIC~!”

“I did it!”

“Did you see that, Trixie?”

 

 

 

 

 

“Yes. Felicitations, Great and Powerful Trixie.”

“Joel is lying.”

“It wasn’t very convincing. There is also evidence that supports otherwise. The itinerary lists no movie to be watched during this period. In fact, we are supposed to learn about the effects of charity in the economy.”

“I’ve read Rarity’s curriculum several times, her techniques for mass matter manipulation are quite enlightening.”

“I don’t breathe.”

 

“Hello. My name is Anonymous. I hope this day is treating you well.”

“I want to become your friend.”

“I do.”

“May we walk together? I want to converse with you.”

“If you’re all set, let’s get going.”

 

“I’m from a parallel dimension and floated through space for almost thirteen years after being jettisoned from a cruise that I lived on for the first several months of my existence. I crashed on this planet and want to learn about magic.”

“I may have some ulterior motives.”

“I really want to learn about magic, and you happen to be related to the only known artificer that practices rune etching.”

“Yes. Take a look here.”

“This is my artifact. A mechanical arm that is modeled after a dragon alchemist’s guantlet made of a material that allows it to channel magic like a staff.”

“It was the headmare that sculpted and engraved this staff.”

“Will infusion?”

“So what makes her will infusion ‘disingenuous?’”

“A better reason…”

 

“That’s not true. While it’s true that you are a useful asset to me, I am also looking into the magic of friendship. As I’ve been at the school for a while now, I’ve learned about so much more than I could have imagined when I crashed on this planet. I do want to make friends, not only for the purpose of my own interests, but also because I really need some sort of companionship.”

“I know that we only just met, but I have a feeling that we’re going to get along well.”

 

 

 

 

Hi. Leg here. Hiatus. I stopped writing months ago. You can reach me for further information at toolassistedfunposting@gmail.com

 

If you somehow found this paste by coincidence, email me anyways. I’m lonely.

 

4/1/2022

I have made preparations for a story loosely based on the scenario of robot go to magic land. It’s not pone related, so if you want some of that I’ll be posting it somewhere. You’ll know when.