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2940 16.72 KB 319
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Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)13:42:20 No.36502675
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>This is how ponies see Anon
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>He just shows up seemingly from nowhere due to his severely reduced magical signature
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>You can't tell if he's in another country or standing behind you
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>Until you turn around and he's suddenly there
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>And now FUCKING LYRA has befriended this monster
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>Everything about it makes your instincts SCREAM that this thing is wrong
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>And now Lyra is riding on its back so she can sneak around better
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>Sometimes she forgets that nopony senses her when she's being held by it and just accidentally spooks ponies she's visiting
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>Bonbon is a combination of very worried about this new creature and very very relieved that the one they know about is acting in what could be called friendly, if one allows for the clearly alien mind they are dealing with.
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>But what if there are others that just have never reveled themselves?
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>Thank Celestia for her training, because bonbon has sure been making a lot of use of it lately
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Anonymous 02/03/21(Wed)19:42:07 No.36504584
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>Of all the shitty writers
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>There's one with shocking gall
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>His goal, the domination
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>and enslavement of our show
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>The God of Creratures
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>The Prince of Memefaces
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>The Subverter of Expectations.
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>He tills the land of Equestria
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>And sows the seeds of destruction
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>The Haberverse is nigh, the Haberverse is nigh
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>Our world will disappear.
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>The Haberverse is nigh, the Haberverse is nigh,
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>Our doom is drawing near.
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>Chains of diversity grip the land
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>And draw it ever near.
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>To his nightmare, Creaturequestria,
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>Where hope bows down to fear,
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>Tearing souls of ponies
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>Into eternal pain.
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>While his twitter minions sing praises of his name.
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>The Haberverse is nigh
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>The Haberverse is nigh.
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>As Haber Josh commands
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>The Haberverse is nigh
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>The Haberverse is nigh
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>Our doom is now at hoof.
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Anonymous 02/05/21(Fri)03:29:56 No.36510345
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>Day 12
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>There's a little board propped up with a little lawn complete with a little horse garden gnome and mailbox.
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>The lawn looks better than yours if you're being honest.
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>She isn't just surviving, she's thriving, using magic and resources in your kitchen.
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>She keeps repeating, "You will forget that Lyra heartstrings is here and that she owes you rent," when you go to your kitchen to grab a beer.
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>It scratches the back of your mind and nearly causes you to go insane.
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>Why is she like this?
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Anonymous 02/09/21(Tue)06:29:03 No.36529004
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>Our little mint has always been attracted to simple pleasures.
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>Folk music, sitting out in nature, having a blast with only the company of a few friends.
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>Even if most of them, apart from Minuette, can't take a good joke.
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>Not to say she doesn't get along with the other fillys, in the ol’ band.
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>They're all sweet in their own way, even Moondancer and Twilight, and she wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
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>Still, naturally she would take interest in the filly scouts and persuade her friends to tag along.
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>Unfortunately for her, the unicorn filly scouts is largely unfunded because Canterlot denizens largely see being one with nature a peasant hick hobby.
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>Most of what the canterlot filly scouts do is sit around in the park learning to manipulate ropes with magic then go home.
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>Remorseful at the bored whinnies of her friends at a particular complicated knot, she -makes- funding, stealing oats here and there to make cookies to sell, which turns in actual profits.
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>It's so lucrative that after a few months, she has enough funds to take the entire scouts to the closest mudpony town.
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>One that has a real actual forest, not just some pony made landscaping at a stupid park.
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>White tail woods.
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>She loved it, even though they got there pretty late.
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>But she got to roast marshmallows and even put up a big tent!
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>It was a little scary, if she's honest.
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>Being out in actual nature for the first time in her young life, away from the giant marble walls, the armored guards at every turn, and the steep mountain slopes.
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>...Away from momma and poppa.
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>Hearing the howls and growls of predators in the far distance doesn't help either.
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>She was in a shivering mess of huddled unicorns the first night, tiny sets of ears swiveling this way and that.
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>She nearly cried when she realised some of the shivering was coming from her.
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>Why did they decided scary stories at a campfire was a good idea, she’ll ever know.
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>She knew she should have kept some kind of weapon under her hat.
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>After that night, it got better, thanks to the mud pony guide they were able to hire.
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>They got to go on a raft, and feed a bunch of fishes, they even got to go on a big long hike to see a bunch of wildlife.
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>Sure they were sore, the guide didn’t take into account the hoof walls of unicorns are harder with a more sensitive frog.
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>Built for cobbled roads, rocks, and climbing mountains.
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>Not long distance trekking like mud skippers.
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>Still, she loved it.
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>Sun willing, maybe she could come back here when she grows into a big pony.
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>She’d give her HORN to move to a place like this.
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>Okay, maybe not that far, these dirt ponies are kind of weird and she still wants momma and poppa to love her.
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Anonymous Sun 14 Feb 2021 23:09:27 No.36558077
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>”Love Letter”
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To hers, a mare in fields of marigold
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Ascent a voice of innocence, fair so
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Through purity allures the pining soul
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And ecstasies for dreams bygone yet close
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Alive and free, a breeze: so soft, aloft
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Still clouds, beneath the sun, by bonny banks
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Her clear and vernal eloquence airs lost
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Delights so freshly sweet and plain of taint
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But now are blissful idylls left and gone
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‘Twixt concrete walls and idle halls of noise
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While far away she calls in plangent song
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Each wish to sing with her those simpler joys
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And she, whose eyes of gold and hooves of daint
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May long, I dream, be cantering my way
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Anonymous Fri 19 Feb 2021 21:58:54 No.36579323
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>At first it was a couple misunderstandings on both your parts, a shared breath here, haand/hoofholding there.
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>Fuck, might as well get a collection at this point for keks.
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>The both of you make a point to go to neighboring countries for vacations to get married in their respective cultures and customs.
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>Not Diamond Dog married though, those weirdos sniff butts.
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Anonymous Sat 20 Feb 2021 10:19:36 No.36581209
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>There were some lines you two didn't want to cross.
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>The Gryphons had a tradition where the female goes out to bring a big kill home.
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>Dragon males would bring hoards of precious gems to fill a nest with.
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>Diamond dogs kept telling you to sniff your wifes butt like some kind of fart nigga.
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>Minotaurs snusnu'd
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Anonymous Sun 21 Feb 2021 08:22:28 No.36585725
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>You fluter to and fro, humming a simple tune as you collect dishes.
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>Bellies were full,
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>Animals were skittering and hopping through doors and windows to go about their day.
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>A day no doubt filled with fun little adventures they can tell you about during supper.
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>The weather is lovely outside, maybe you can-
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>"BIRD NIGGGGGGGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR."
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"Ohh my..."
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>Like usual, it seems an adventure has found you first.
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>Tentatively, you nuzzle your front door open to see Lyra whispering something to her homane... coltfriend?
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>Ohh, are they a band? you don't want to assume and-
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>"Hey come on, before this wild animal changes his mind!"
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"W-wild animal?"
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>The homane blinks for a moment.
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>With a prompt tug on his leash, he starts growling, a little spittle hitting the floor.
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>That's new.
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>You haven't talked at all with... Anon, was it? Though you think he's a nice stallion.
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>His body language is comfortable.
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>Familiar.
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Anonymous Sun 21 Feb 2021 08:23:35 No.36585727
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>Not at all as complex and intimidating as pony body language, which makes you feel like a grounded pegasus, for lack of a better term.
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>He does scare the other ponies sometimes but you know predators grab and reach out to pet things when they're playing and want to be friends.
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>And he's without a doubt very playful, lightly shoving the unicorn's withers which nearly sends her into a laughing fit.
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>Luckily, Anon has a lot of friends that understand that.
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>It would be terrible if he were all alone.
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>Getting a better look at the homane, he does seem a little different today.
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>He's on all fours like a pony for one, and his clothes are gone.
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>Sun willing, he doesn't catch a cold.
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>You're not sure why he's pretending to be an animal, but you don't think he'd do it for no reason.
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>Maybe he's really counting on you for help.
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>You nicker softly to the homane, before trotting over to nuzzle the side of his arm.
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>A-are those welts?
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>Ponies haven't been too rough with him have they? Some primates have very thin skin.
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>Sure enough he stops growling and looks to Lyra for guidance.
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>Her ears perk up when she catches his look.
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>"Hey Flutterbutter."
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>You nod with a hum, nuzzling and nipping at the side of his neck.
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>To your surprise he flinches, and moves back, closer to Lyra's side.
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Anonymous Sun 21 Feb 2021 08:24:35 No.36585729
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>Barking. Strange.
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>Do homanes not like grooming?
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>You hope he doesn't get upset with you.
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>"I need your help with my pet monkey, I think it's brain damaged."
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"Ohh, dear. It sounds serious."
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>"Yeah, he's making some stinky shits as well."
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>Anon snorts at that, his jaw tightening.
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>Ohh no, maybe he's got some stomach pain too.
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>Maybe it's colic?
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"Please come inside, I'll get some blankets for him and we'll get him right as sunshine in no time."
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>Bon-Bon had called you both pansies and triple horse dared the both of you to do all of those things regardless.
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>It was in jest, of course. But you told her to shove it anyways, and carried Lyra to far off lands.
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>Momma didn't raise no pussy.
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Anonymous Mon 22 Feb 2021 02:34:31 No.36589731
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>You rouse from your sleep, a small whicker above you.
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>It's cold.
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>And there’s this weight settling on your stomach making it hard to drift back to sleep.
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>"Hey, Anon?" asks the weight.
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>The one that decidedly, made you her new chair.
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"Uhh?"
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>You force a heavy eyelid, nearly shutting it back tight from how bright her smile is.
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>Everything's too bright.
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>"Let's go out and do stuff."
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>You frown for a moment, trying to process where and when you are.
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>...
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>Ohh right.
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>You went to Lyra's to read stupid bird nigger literature together under some too-small blankets last night.
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"'S morning?"
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>"Uhh huhh, and the flower sister's got some real tasty looking flowers, but we gotta hurry."
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"-M' oats not good 'nough for you anymore?"
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>She chuckles, nuzzling the underside of your chin.
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>"No they're still good, but it's Hearts and Hooves. The flowers are gunna be extra tasty today."
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>She lays down over the rest of your torso, some of her mane cascading down to tickle your nose.
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"Valentines day is for fags."
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>You grunt, trying to roll over to go back to sleep, but she holds fast, keeping you pinned.
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>"Val-en..." she repeats under her breath.
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"Same difference."
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>"It doesn't have to be... faggy? We can do the stuff we normally do."
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>You frown, before wrapping an arm around her, and pulling her into a hug.
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>Falling asleep at her place wasn't intentional, but you might as well make the most of it.
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>"They got some neat activities for couples near town hall."
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>You opt to stay silent soaking up the warmth from your little buddy.
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>"Apple bobbing, couple cart racing, unhealthy food stalls."
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>You shoot up, nearly sending the unicorn atop you flying.
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"Lemmie wash my face real quick, Lye."
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>The both of you trot through stalls.
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>Well, you're trotting.
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>Anon is doing that weird "stalking" thing he does.
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>Cantering at a silent pace with an unequine leveled head.
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>With the help of quick neck movements, forward set eyes shift to focus on each tiny detail in the stalls.
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>He doesn't seem too impressed, wearing a slight frown.
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>The nettle wrapped apple sugar candies, the salted hayfries, the carrot dogs, even the honey glazed sweet oats don’t catch his attention.
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>"You know, Lye, When you said unhealthy food stalls this isn't what I had in mind."
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>Your ears perk up and you work your jaw in confusion.
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"Makes sense. Your diet is weird, Anon. Do I even want to know what kind of food you humans think is unhealthy?"
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>"Deep fried anything."
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>You tilt your head in confusion.
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"You take meat, sweets, fermented food, anything. Put it in a wheat and egg-based batter and fry it in a pot of searing hot oil."
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>Your snoot scrunches at the idea of taking dead flesh and further making it smell bad by cooking it in oils.
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>Even worse, taking some vegetables that have been rotting in a jar and left to sour- fermented he calls it- and cooking that.
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>Right, being a hypocarnivore, he probably has a taste for real fatty foods.
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>You can't fathom why humans like super sour things though.
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>Gross.
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>Ahh well, he's still more civilized than a dirt pony.
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>Trying to find food Anon enjoys is kind of difficult, though you settle on treating him to an assortment of cinnamon sugar nuts, a sweet and spicy staple of the lowland Gryphon tribes.
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>He quickly treats you back, buying you a big bouquet of roses,
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>Hoofing it to you with a big ol’ blush on his face, he early winces when you bite into it with a satisfied nicker.
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>Strange, though he mentioned humans don’t like eating flowers.
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>Maybe that has something to do with it?
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>It makes a mare appreciate that he compromises so much when he tries cooking for both of you.
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>Luckily his tastes aren’t as sensitive.
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>He doesn’t even know how bad you are at cooking, and happily eats it as long as he can digest it.
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>A sun's blessing.
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>Things are in full swing now.
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>Bands are out to enjoy the festivities, some looking for excitement, some opting for a nice and quiet picnic with their loved ones.
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>You, gallop back and forth, trying to look for something fun to do with Anon.
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>Honestly, you'd like to do a little bit of everything but you're finding it hard to keep your hooves still.
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>He's trailing close behind, a big smile on his face as he catches up.
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>It doesn't take long for you to bump into Bonnie.
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>The best ponypal in the whole world looks worn and tired.
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>If somepony didn't know any better, they'd say the delivery wagon she's tacked to is the only thing keeping her on her hooves.
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>Looks like extra cool spyponys can get overworked too.
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>As far as you know, she hadn't come home last night either.
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>The mare looks between you two, ears already pinned on reflex.
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>"If you're looking to bum sweets off of me, you're out of luck. I don't have time to foal around today."
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>You share a worried look with Anon.
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>"Bon, you need help delivering?"
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"Yeah, Bonnie, you don't look so good."
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>Her ears rise.
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>"I'd hate to take time from a couple on Hearts and Hooves. It's nothing I can't handle."
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>She seems to take pleasure, that she made both of you glance bashfully at each other.
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>"You sure, Bon? You don't gotta be a stubborn little dirt nigger. We'll help."
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>"If you want to pull a cart so bad, Anon, why don't you join that couple's wagon race this afternoon?" she replies.
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>It's hard not to giggle at the exchange of hearth snuffing and sexism.
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>If only Bonnie could join you for some shenanigans.
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>Holidays are always fun with more ponies.
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>"Ohh yeah, that's a thing." Anon rubs the underside of his chin. "I think Lye would be more suited to pull though."
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"Why's that?"
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>He grins, looking down at you.
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>"I didn't want to say it, but humans have hitched horses to chariots and wagons to ride for over 5,000 years."
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>You laugh, bumping your rump against his leg.
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>"What a coincidence. Unicorns did the same to mud kickers."
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>The human returns with a sweet laugh of his own, learning over to scritch at your ears.
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>A mare walks by, covering her foals ears and giving your little group a glare that could kick your butts.
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>Heh.
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>Ground trotters.
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>”Sun, what am I going to do with you two?”
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Anonymous Thu 25 Feb 2021 08:56:41 No.36611834
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>"*sigh*...Hay Hay Hay, come to Hayburger today.."
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>Anon notices Lyra's song & dance while ordering at the counter
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>He points outside
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>'Pardon me, but is it possible to get your spokesmare to be a bit more enthused?'
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"Right away, sir!" The manager replies
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>Anon takes his meal near a window as he watches the manager berate Lyra and even showing her how she should dance and twirl the sign
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>"..Fucking stupid Anon..'I bet you can't guess how many fingers I'm holding up'...why'd I take that bet.."
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>Anon taps on the window
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>'SIR? SIR, YOUR SPOKESMARE ISN'T WOWING ME AND IT'S CAUSING ME TO NOT ENJOY MY MEAL.'
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>The manager frowns and motions at her to get back to work
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>"I'LL KILL YOU, ANON!"
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>yfw
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Anonymous Thu 25 Feb 2021 09:34:38 No.36612572
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"Welcome to Hayburger, home of the hayburger, can I take your order?"
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>Tfw Anon is on the ground, laughing.
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>Tfw Ponies are staring.
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>Tfw he's never going to let you live this down.
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>Tfw you might as well change your last name to Haystrings now.
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