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/bootleg/ Tinny the tin foil conspiracy pony

By NHanon
Created: 16th July 2021 09:31:33 PM
28th April 2021 06:36:49 PM

  1. >Always wanted a pony of your own.
  2. >Who would’ve guessed one would come into your life out of the blue.
  3. >Just never thought it would’ve been a pony literally made of tin foil.
  4. >As expected she’s super light and easy to carry around, roughly the size of a small cat.
  5. >Can even wear her on your head, though it results in your hair standing on end.
  6. >Not that you’re complaining, she makes life better.
  7. >Despite her... odd quirks.
  8. >”I know you may find it hard to believe, but the contrails slowly affect your mind, making you easier to control.”
  9. “Mhm.”
  10. >She’s completely obsessed with conspiracies.
  11. >Ironic isn’t it?
  12. >She’ll find them on the net, books, TV, and places you would never think to look.
  13. >Not sure how either, she never leaves your place out of fear of being snatched off the street.
  14. >You’re more worried about her being blown away by the wind.
  15. >Her voice takes on a more serious tone, “That’s not all though, it goes way higher up than that.”
  16. “Uh-huh.”
  17. >You nod along to rambling, taking another sip from your coffee.
  18. >Really shouldn’t enable her, but she never listens to reason.
  19. >She always has some crazy counter evidence that was printed from online or torn out from a book.
  20. >Not sure where she gets the pages though since your books are untouched.
  21. >Of course none of what she rambles about is true.
  22. >At least you hope not.
  23. >”-chickens are in on it too.”
  24. >You blink in disbelief.
  25. “Excuse me, what?”
  26. >”The chickens Anon! The chickens! Weren’t you listening?”
  27. “It’s hard to follow your train of thought sometimes Tinny, especially when you get on a roll.”
  28. >She groans and rubs her hooves over her face, “Darn it Anon, you’re the only one I can trust in person. You need to pay attention, it’s for both of our safety!”
  29. >Before you answer her she starts to pace and mumble to herself.
  30. >Hopefully she’ll burn herself out soon and take a nap.
  31.  
  32. >Still not sure how that works either; it’s better to not question it.
  33. >When she does, it’s fairly cute because her snoring sounds similar to wind chimes.
  34. >Once again, don’t know how that works.
  35. >You’ve taken a few pictures of napping before, kept them hidden from her.
  36. >Not out of malice, but because she doesn’t trust cameras in the slightest.
  37. >Something something about stealing souls, dunno, wasn’t paying attention to that rant of hers.
  38. >”Alright, so the chickens are apart of the ‘plan’. Do you remember the ‘plan’?”
  39. >Nope.jpg
  40. “Yes of course I do.”
  41. >”Good that saves me time! So anyway, they’re being brought into the fold because they’re necessary to keep things in check.”
  42. “Oh I see.”
  43. >You have no clue in the world where this is going.
  44. >It’s just another conspiracy upon her mountain of conspiracies.
  45. >The only shitty part is that you have to warn others before bringing them over.
  46. >If you don’t, well…
  47. >Your aunt was never the same after Tinny ‘collected’ those samples.
  48. >”That reminds me! Have seen the mailman today?”
  49. “Nope.”
  50. >”Be careful because I’m one hundred percent positive that he’s working with them.”
  51. “Remind me again who’s them?”
  52. >”The vampire overlords of course! They’re the ones controlling the colors of the world. How else would they feed so easily?”
  53. >Her paranoia would get anyone else locked up in the loony bin, at least she has you.
  54. >Chuckling, you gently shake your head.
  55. “Okay so how does the mailman fit into all of this?”
  56. >”I’ve been keeping watching on the neighbors while you’re at work. I saw him talking to Mrs. Smith, you already know she’s a vampire. But that’s when I saw it! They hugged each other for a long time, she was feeding on him on Anon! She’s eating his colors and making him grayer!”
  57. >Really should’ve stopped this before it got this far, but the debates have grown on you slowly.
  58.  
  59. “Mrs. Smith isn’t a vampire, she just has a Transylvania accent. She wasn’t feeding on him either because the mailman is her son. He’s got gray hair because he’s an older guy.”
  60. >”No it’s all a front Anon! I’ve got the evidence to prove it! Wait here, I’ll go grab them to show you!”
  61. >She dashes off the table and glides gently onto the floor, heading off to her little lair.
  62. >Heh, should’ve known that would happen.
  63. >At least her antics are mostly harmless, you still love her all the same.
  64. >While she’s distracted with getting her ‘evidence’, you take another sip from you coffee and check the newspaper.
  65. >Upon opening it, you notice multiple sections missing.
  66. >Ah, right… forgot about that.
  67. >Don’t know how she does it, but she always manages to get to the paper before you do.
  68. >Taking whatever sections she needs for ever growing web in her lair.
  69. “Huh, she didn’t steal the crossword this time.”
  70. >You start filling them in while you await her return.
  71. >From the sound of rapid tapping from the other room, it looks like you didn’t have to wait for her long.
  72. >”I’ve got it all right here, just give me a sec.”
  73. >She clambers up the books and boxes you stacked up to help her get onto the table.
  74. >Looks like she has a small stack of papers with her this time.
  75. >Another thing you’re not sure of is how she manages to carry or hold anything.
  76. >”Take a look at these! It’s all the evidence I’ve been compiling on Mrs. Smith and the mailman.”
  77. >She taps against the paper on top, pointing to different parts.
  78. >It’s mostly cobbled together pictures; hastily scribbled notes written in pen, pencil, and marker.
  79. >There’s a picture of a stereotypical vampire that has Mrs. Smith written underneath it with time stamps of her departure from her home.
  80. >A red line drawn in marker connects it to a picture of a postman with spirals scribbled onto his eyes.
  81.  
  82. >The majority of the notes look like nonsense, mostly about whom both of them are talking to.
  83. >Despite it’s...unique appearance, gotta give her credit where it’s due.
  84. >She invests so much time and effort into making all this evidence for you to believe her.
  85. >It’s entertaining to say the least.
  86. >Though it would probably be better put to use else where.
  87. “Oh wow, this is really interesting.”
  88. >”Now do you get it? Everything falls into place once you read it”
  89. >Not in the slightest.
  90. “Yeah I do, I’m glad you showed me this.”
  91. >But you’ll keep that to yourself.
  92. >She smiles and nods before pulling out another sheet with show dogs from a magazine taped to it.
  93. >”I knew you’d understand, we can now move onto the next part of of the overlords that are controlling society. Get this, werewolves hidden in plain sight and where they fit into the ‘plan’.”
  94. >It all makes her happy, and that in return makes you happy.
  95. >You wouldn’t have it any other way because its just another day with Tinny, the tin foil conspiracy pony.
  96.  
  97.  
  98. ***********************************************************************************
  99.  
  100.  
  101. >You are Tinny, the tin foil pony.
  102. >There are many ponies out there, but only one you.
  103. >It’s an early Saturday morning, approximately 3:07 am according to the kitchen clock.
  104. >You’re making your rounds around the home, checking every window and fixture, taking notes along the way.
  105. >As you peek out the last window on this trip, you see that the road is clear and nothing else is currently in sight in the darkness of night.
  106. >But you know they’re out there, watching, calculating, planning out their next move.
  107. >Can never be too careful, they can come at anytime to snatch you and Anon up.
  108. >Then bam! Off to some warehouse or offshore base to be processed for knowing too much.
  109. >You have to remain ever vigilant against the forces that threaten the world.
  110. >Even if you are fairly tired right now, you can take a break soon.
  111. >Often they’re around twenty minutes, though you can’t keep it consistent.
  112. >If you don’t have an exact routine, they can’t catch you off guard as easily
  113. >Though you know they have a shadow profile on you like everyone else.
  114. “*yawn* Time to head back to the lair.”
  115. >It’s essential that you make records of every note, duplicates of those especially.
  116. >Just as you reach the door, you perform a double check to make sure that nothing got in.
  117. >Feeling satisfied, you open it and do the same procedure on the other side.
  118. “Gotta be certain.”
  119. >This is the only place in the home that is completely shut off from the outside world.
  120. >All lined in a combination of tin foil (much like the kind your made of) and other various spy resistant materials.
  121. >Learned about it all from the guys on the deep web.
  122. >Anon says you’re on there too much, but how else can you stay updated on the happenings?
  123. >It’s the only place that freely shares information about what’s really going on.
  124. >Aliens, lizard men, ruling families, you name it, it has it.
  125.  
  126. >The only place with people other than Anon that you can trust.
  127. >They all know about the ‘plan’ as well.
  128. >Of course there are spies hidden there to dissuade you all.
  129. >Not that they hide very good, they give themselves away so easily.
  130. >What was the word that one guy called them?
  131. “Um… shills I think…”
  132. >Doesn’t matter, less talking and thinking, more copying.
  133. >The process takes time, it would be easier if you could hook up a copy machine but it would give you away.
  134. >You’ve tried convincing Anon to let you line the walls with the material you have in here.
  135. >Needless to say that didn’t go over well.
  136. >At least he was generous enough to let you do it to this room.
  137. >What really helped aside from the begging, was giving the best pair of puppy eyes you could to him.
  138. >He clutched his chest and said something along the lines of, “Hnng!”
  139. >Not sure what it meant, but hey it worked.
  140. >Starting to run out of room for everything in here, really need a library.
  141. “Maybe I can convince Anon to let me have some more space?”
  142. >Doubtful, but it’s worth a shot.
  143. >As you’re working on copying your notes into your ledger, you start comparing them to the rest of your webs.
  144. >Each conspiracy is a colored thread that connects to another.
  145. >They all connect to the biggest one, the ‘plan’.
  146. >This current one from your notes are about the vampire overlords of course.
  147. >Mrs. Smith won’t fool you, she just wants to eat Anon.
  148. >She even tried to give him cookies once when he gave her mail that we accidentally got.
  149. >As if!
  150. >You knew right away that it was to drug him so she could get him.
  151. >You ‘accidentally’ knocked them to the ground, then stepped on them as well.
  152. >Yeah he was really mad at you, but you had to protect him!
  153. >At least he forgave you for it eventually.
  154. >You’re almost done with copying the notes, and you take a moment to look at your web again.
  155.  
  156. >Various pictures from around the world are hung up.
  157. >Never will take photographs yourself, those machines eat bits of your soul.
  158. >One in particular catches your eye.
  159. >It’s of Edward Snowden.
  160. >While he was probably a plant, his whistleblower efforts helped enlighten the masses.
  161. >It got so many to wake up, just not as many as you had hoped.
  162. >That’s usually your counter argument on the net against the other guys who don’t like him.
  163. “*yawn*”
  164. >This work is really tiring.
  165. >Would be much easier if Anon could give you hand.
  166. >Shame he doesn’t get your system yet, eventually he will.
  167. >Everyday you share with him another truth in the grand scheme of the world.
  168. >If he didn’t have to work to keep suspicion off the two of you, you could do it in a day!
  169. >Tried to show him on his days off, but he always says something along the lines of needing to relax.
  170. >You can hardly relax though, gotta be on guard for the both of you.
  171. >Maybe the two of you can watch some X-Files later?
  172. >It’s a neat show that you found that gives some glimmer of truth.
  173. >In reality it’s just another way to placate the masses from what’s really going on without arousing suspicion.
  174. >Like-
  175. >*Thud*
  176. “Wait, what was that?”
  177. >That came from outside, you’re certain of it.
  178. >You creep out of the lair and to the closest window to the outside, peering out of it.
  179. >It’s still hard to see anything in the darkness, but slowly you make out something.
  180. >At the vacant house, there’s…
  181. “Oh no.”
  182. >A black van!
  183. >What’s worse, there are several darkly clad forms moving around it.
  184. >Your eyes widen and you start to panic.
  185. >It’s happening.
  186. >It’s happening!
  187. >IT’S HAPPENING!
  188. “They’ve come for us, I gotta get Anon and escape!”
  189. >Alright stay frost and remember the plan you drafted up!
  190. >You run as fast as your little legs can carry you to Anon’s room.
  191. >Along the way, you skid to a halt by the lair and hesitate.
  192.  
  193. >Should get whatever evidence you can from it?
  194. >NO!
  195. >There is no time, if you stand around they’ll get you!
  196. >You take off into Anon’s room and make your way up the boxes onto his bed.
  197. >He’s fast asleep and lightly snoring, you start shaking him as quickly as you can.
  198. “Anon Anon! Get up! It’s happening, we gotta go!”
  199. >”Huzzawha?” He grumbles out.
  200. >You scrunch and start shaking him again.
  201. “There is no time, we gotta go, they’ve come for us!”
  202. >He blinks with tired eyes and yawns.
  203. >”What time is it?”
  204. “Darn it Anon there is no time like I said, get up!”
  205. >You start pulling his blanket from him and he starts pulling back.
  206. >”Hold on, where’s the fire Tinny?”
  207. “The black van is outside, they going to be here any minute to take us away!”
  208. >”Black van? Let me go check.”
  209. >Your eyes widen in further fear.
  210. “No Anon! I can’t lose you, we have to flee!”
  211. >He smiles and picks you up easily, “You’re not going to lose me, let’s go see this van.”
  212. >Confound your stupid light body!
  213. “REEEE! Let me go! We gotta escape!”
  214. >”Calm down, if there is something I can handle it, I promise.”
  215. “But they’ll get you and overpower you! I know they will! They have special ray guns for that!”
  216. >Gotta keep thrashing, then you can save the two of you.
  217. >”Uh huh, right, ray guns.”
  218. >Doesn’t he believe you?
  219. >What are you saying, of course he does!
  220. >Anon’s just trying to be brave, that’s all.
  221. >Can’t escape his grasp no matter how much thrashing you’re doing though.
  222. >He carries you into the other room and peeks out the window.
  223. >You start frantically pointing over to the van.
  224. “Look look! See it over there by the house!”
  225. >He squints and slowly nods, “Yeah now I do, but um hey, that’s a moving van, says so right on the side.”
  226. >You scoff and shake your head.
  227. “It’s a front Anon! That’s how it always looks. Come on already!”
  228. >Anon yawns again and pats your side, “They’re literally unloading boxes, it’s too early for this, but whatever.”
  229.  
  230. >Does that mean he gets it?
  231. >You stare up at him, awaiting his response that determines both your fates.
  232. >He blinks slowly and starts walking back to the bedroom.
  233. >Yes! He does get it!
  234. >If only he would move a little faster, haste makes grace after all!
  235. >You’re set on the bed and-
  236. >Wait a second, why is he climbing back into it?
  237. “Anon what are you doing?”
  238. >He says nothing and grabs you, hugging you close to his chest before pulling the blankets over the two of you.
  239. “Anon this is no time for sleeping!”
  240. >”I’m too tired to deal with this right now Tinny, we both need our sleep.”
  241. “No I *yawn* s-stop cuddling me!”
  242. >He closes his eyes and smiles, “No.”
  243. “Anon you! Grrr!”
  244. >Can’t move anymore with him holding you so close.
  245. >Feel the fight losing, you’re already fairly tired.
  246. >No not yet! Hold on!
  247. “We gotta...*yawn* gotta go…”
  248. >”Sleep.” He mumbles out.
  249. >It’s getting harder to resist, must fight.
  250. >Fight it…
  251. >Losing fast...
  252. “Gotta...vector...lugenpress...jet fuel...Zzzzzz…”
  253.  
  254.  
  255. ***********************************************************************************
  256.  
  257.  
  258. >Today has been surprisingly good so far.
  259. >Might even tempt fate and say it’s been wonderful.
  260. >Work was slow, so they let you have the rest of the day off.
  261. >Zero lines at the store when you went shopping as well made things a breeze.
  262. >When you got you home the neighbors didn’t complain to you about Tinny’s antics either.
  263. >Right now you’re lounging on the couch, feeling fairly at ease.
  264. >It’s a nice change of pace from the usual chaos that you deal with day to day.
  265. >You breath out a sight of contentment.
  266. >Everything is going so well, so what did you do to deserve such luck today?
  267. >Even Tinny is being quiet right now.
  268. >Wait a second.
  269. >Your eyes shoot open and you listen carefully.
  270. >It’s quiet, too quiet.
  271. >Should you be concerned?
  272. >Usually a string of bad luck follows the good.
  273. >Maybe it’s Tinny’s paranoia rubbing off on you, but just to be sure.
  274. “Hey Tinny?”
  275. >You lay there for a few minutes listening.
  276. >No response.
  277. >That’s a little worrisome…
  278. >She did interrogate you when you got home because she believed work letting you home early was some plan to steal people off the streets.
  279. >Got her to let it go eventually after you pointed out that it was too early for such a thing.
  280. >Didn’t stop her from saying it was never too early for that.
  281. >She’s not doing her rounds or trying to educate you in another conspiracy she learned; found either.
  282. >Haven’t even seen her since you started laying here.
  283. >That worry is starting to grow with each passing second.
  284. >Two scenarios come to mind.
  285. >Scenario one is that you’re really overreacting and she’s just engrossed on the deep web.
  286. >Scenario two is that she’s up to no good that will result in another headache for you.
  287. >At the very least you should check on her to be sure, if only to alleviate your worry.
  288. >You sigh and get up slowly, stretching.
  289. “Really hope it’s just her paranoia rubbing off on me, last thing I need is something involving fish men or whatever.”
  290.  
  291. >Your search starts here in the living room with checking under the furniture and in the closet.
  292. >She’s not here though, so you move on to the kitchen.
  293. >Not many places to hide here other than the cupboards, but she’s not there either.
  294. >It’s best not to question why should be hiding period because it would likely involve some conspiracy.
  295. “Maybe the bathroom? But why would she-no, don’t think about it.”
  296. >Same story there, even checked the toilet to be sure.
  297. >That just leaves two rooms left; your concern is growing into fear.
  298. >You ignore it and press on.
  299. >The room is relatively untouched, bed is still made and your computer is off.
  300. >Maybe under your bed?
  301. “Tinny?”
  302. >Other than dust bunnies, nope.
  303. “That pony is gonna give me gray hairs at this rate.”
  304. >You’re really trying to stay calm, but it’s becoming more difficult with each passing second.
  305. >All the windows are closed and latched, the front door is locked and she would need something to unlock it anyways.
  306. >It’s not like she discovered some inter dimensional wormhole to another plane of reality and explored it, right?
  307. >Right?
  308. >Goddammit.
  309. >You’ve really let her get into your head and actually believe that stuff she spouts off about.
  310. “Fuck, keep it together, there has to be a perfectly rational explanation for why I haven’t found her yet.”
  311. >Probably should stop talking to yourself and keep up the search.
  312. >Last and final stop is her lair that she often retreats to.
  313. >Rarely ever go in there unless you really have to, and for good reason.
  314. >She’d keep you in there trying to explain every inch of the room to you in great detail.
  315. >The bigger reason is because it’s such a goddamn mess in there.
  316. >She insists it’s organized to her specific system she cooked up.
  317. >Yeah if that’s organized then you’re the damn pope.
  318. >What is really nightmarish about the place is the threads that make up her web.
  319.  
  320. >Makes navigating it like a minefield.
  321. >Have to be super careful and pull off some Mission Impossible levels of maneuvering to avoid tripping or breaking anything.
  322. >You take a moment and a deep breath to reign in your fear before you open the door.
  323. “Stay calm, she has to be in there, I know it.”
  324. >Very slowly you open it up (mostly out of fear of some kind of booby trap).
  325. >It looks far worse than the last time you were in here.
  326. “Well that figures…”
  327. >There are massive amounts of printed papers, newspaper clippings, threads, and other various crap in almost every corner.
  328. >Though the newest edition that catches your attention is the fairly large pile of the aforementioned items roughly at one corner of the room.
  329. “Tinny are you in here? Because I don’t want to accidentally ruin any of this of yours.”
  330. >Might’ve been your fear playing tricks on you, but you’re almost certain that pile shifted.
  331. “The fuck?”
  332. >You listen carefully and a small noise comes from it.
  333. >Well now you’re almost certain that she’s in there for whatever damn reason.
  334. >Just means you’re gonna have to brave this mess of hers.
  335. >You try, keyword try, to navigate it without damaging her web.
  336. >However you quickly give up and tear through it all to reach the pile.
  337. >She’ll forgive you for it after she rants about it for a while.
  338. >You kneel down, grabbing the various bits of crap and toss them aside.
  339. >Before you long you-
  340. >“Anon! Thank goodness you found me, I was starting to lose hope!”
  341. >An immense wave of relief washes over you and a large smile crosses your face.
  342. “Yeah I’m glad I found you too, really had me going there for a bit.”
  343. >She smiles and nods quickly, “I kept trying to call out to you but you didn’t come.”
  344. “Probably because you were buried and the fact that this room is lined in… whatever the hell this all is.”
  345. >Her smile broadens and she tries to shift to no avail, “Oo! I can tell you, it’s made of tin foil, egg cartons, li-”
  346.  
  347. >You hold up your hand and cut her off before it lasts an hour.
  348. “Save it for another time, how’d this even happen?”
  349. >She tries to shift again, but just ends up moving her head about cutely.
  350. >”I was working on the hollow earth section when the box I was standing on started to shift. Before I could react it all came down with me. I tried to escape, but the threads started to tangle around me and more of the room came apart. It just kept getting worse and worse, before I knew it I was buried.”
  351. >Have to do it.
  352. “So you’re saying you were like a fly caught in a spider’s web?”
  353. >She gives you a deadpan stare and slowly shakes her head, “Seriously?”
  354. “Hey the opportunity was there.”
  355. >”That’s what the vans think about the homeless, but enough about that. Get me out of this!”
  356. “I don’t know, it looks like you’re having fun in this cocoon.”
  357. >”Oh hardy har, so funny. Stop sitting there and help.”
  358. “Hmm… what was that I said about this coming back to bite you?”
  359. >She scrunches and lets out a huff, “I know I know, I shouldn’t have let it get this bad, but come on!”
  360. >Stroking your chin as you look at her predicament, an idea starts to form.
  361. >Moments like these don’t come too often.
  362. >The idea becomes more and more devilish, making you grin a little.
  363. >She’d go absolutely nuts if you do it.
  364. >Are you really sure you want to endure the fallout from it?
  365. >”What’s with the look Anon?” She says with a questioning expression.
  366. >But it’s tempting, oh so tempting to do.
  367. >Her scrunch intensifies, ”Hey snap out of it! Are you planning something?”
  368. >Well that decides it for you.
  369. “Stay put, I’ll be right back.”
  370. >She starts to panic as you stand and leave.
  371. >”No wait don’t leave, reee!”
  372. >Her voice echoes from the other room while you grab your supplies.
  373. >When you return, you make sure to hide them behind you.
  374. >She’s still struggling within the mess and upon seeing you, lights up.
  375.  
  376. >”There you are! Um hey, if I was being snappy I’m sorry, but you have no idea how infuriating this is to be trapped here.”
  377. >You nod slowly, trying to hide your grin.
  378. “I understand fully Tinny, I’m gonna get you out in about ten minutes or so.”
  379. >”Thank you so-” She pauses and furrows her brow, “Why ten minutes? It shouldn’t take you that long to get me out, it’s just paper and yarn after all.”
  380. >Can’t hide it anymore, you reveal what you went to fetch.
  381. “I’m just going to have a little fun is all.”
  382. >Her eyes widen in absolute terror, “NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! DON’T DO THIS TO ME ANON!”
  383. >You purposefully creep up with a maniacal smile and begin to unfold your plan.
  384. >She thrashes all the while in a futile attempt to resist you.
  385. >”NO STOP! DARN IT ANON! CUT IT OUT!”
  386. >Got everything in place, so you step back to the door and prepare to finish it off.
  387. “Say conspiracy Tinny!”
  388. >With a click, the camera flashes.
  389. >”REEEEE!”
  390. >Shaking your head slowly, you frown as you look at the picture and sigh dramatically.
  391. “Nah this just won’t do Tinny, I can’t make out the cute little bow you’re wearing from all your moving. Gonna have to retake it… or about ten more.”
  392. >”No Anon enough! This is pure evil, stop it! No more!”
  393. >You take another picture with a flash as she continues to ree like some autist.
  394. >Her rage will last a while, but it’s something you’re willing to deal with for Tinny.
  395.  
  396.  
  397. ***********************************************************************************
  398.  
  399.  
  400. >There are times where it’s exhausting trying to protect yourself and Anon.
  401. >It almost makes you wish for an abduction to spice things up, but not quite yet.
  402. >Still need to either devise a way to defend yourself or at least communicate that doesn’t involve flash cards.
  403. >Enough grumbling!
  404. >Gotta stay focused on the mission at hoof right now.
  405. >You’re currently taking notes on this section of the neighborhood from the safety of your home.
  406. >Don’t know why Anon say’s that it’s stalking, because it clearly isn’t.
  407. >It’s more like watching others from afar without them seeing you to learn more.
  408. >And that’s what it takes to protect the both of you, otherwise the people you observe would just fake being normal to blend in.
  409. >Unfortunately you’re fairly stretched thin at the moment.
  410. >This is due to the previous ‘incident’ that occurred and as a result, you’ve had to double your patrols among other things.
  411. >What with rebuilding the lair, making and copying notes, so much to do!
  412. >Anon has helped out where he could, though it still feels like it’s never enough.
  413. >You’ve had to cut down on naps and lurking on the deb web as well.
  414. >Starting to consider saving time on rebuilding by collecting materials from the neighbor’s trash.
  415. >Would just be more digging than you usually do.
  416. >Getting distracted again.
  417. “Section clear, however! I’m almost certain that the old oak is being used by squirrels as a F.O.B.”
  418. >You make sure to note that down with an extra underline.
  419. >The living room is the last destination before you go back to the lair.
  420. >As you pass through, Anon is playing some game that involves shooting things.
  421. >Sounds like most games that the overlords use to placate the masses.
  422. >Can look into it later, focus on the neighborhood.
  423. >That’s when you notice something off.
  424. “Aha! Who does he think he is fooling? He’s acting highly suspicious and almost giving himself away.”
  425.  
  426. >The new ‘neighbors’ are active for the thirteen time today.
  427. >That’s more than the average of five times in comparison to the others!
  428. >Who actually goes outside so much?
  429. >No one, that’s who!
  430. >You quickly start taking notes and talking out loud to remember for later.
  431. “Subject Jane Doe is no where to be seen, likely inside, however subject John Doe is pulling weeds. This is no doubt-”
  432. >”Hey.”
  433. >Not now.
  434. “-a cover for getting a feel for the rest of the neighborhood while he does that, furthermore-”
  435. >”Tinny.”
  436. >He can wait, finish the observation.
  437. “-who actually pulls weeds at this time of day? Going to-”
  438. >”Tin Tin?”
  439. >Losing focus.
  440. “-make s-sure with the binoculars to f-find the-”
  441. >”Rin Tin Tin?”
  442. >You stomp your hoof and nearly drop your pencil.
  443. “Gah what?!”
  444. >”Sorry to bug you while you’re doing your thing, but you seem a little more on edge than usual.”
  445. >Your eye starts to twitch, and you slowly turn to him.
  446. >Anon has his game paused and is looking at you with a genuine look of concern.
  447. >Maybe you overreacted a little, because now you feel bad.
  448. >Not sure how he does that either, you’ve tested the samples you acquired and they came back negative.
  449. >Might just be a hidden ability, don’t know yet.
  450. >You bring yourself back under control before you explain yourself.
  451. “Sorry for snapping, but yes I am stressed out. I’ve been running double patrols and trying to rebuild.”
  452. >”Figured as much, how about you take a little break? We can watch some Ancient Aliens, maybe some X Files?”
  453. >It has been a while since you last watched anything with Anon.
  454. >Maybe you do need to unwind a little…
  455. >What are you thinking?!
  456. >This is obviously a farce for something else, something you know.
  457. “You’re just trying to butter me up to make up for what you did, aren’t you?”
  458. >”Oh come on, I thought you let go of that.”
  459. >You point an accusatory hoof at him.
  460. “I can’t forget it, I don’t know how much of my soul was lost from it all!”
  461.  
  462. >He chuckles lightly, “I seriously doubt you lost anything at all, even if you did, it was unlikely very much.”
  463. “You don’t know that, it doesn’t matter if it was less than a percentile, that’s still a loss.”
  464. >”Suppose you’re right about that.”
  465. “Not to mention the excruciating torture that you put me through.”
  466. >He arches a brow, “I’d hardly call taking cute pictures excruciating torture.”
  467. “It is because putting bows on me and using a soul sucking machine to capture it is a form of torture you jerk.”
  468. >”Right, explain that to parents and pet owners.”
  469. “I’ve told you before, if the masses knew the truth like I do, they’d completely revolt against the overlords and stop this madness at long last.”
  470. >He sighs and nods, “Yeah yeah I know, you’ve told me a million times.”
  471. >Don’t need to give him your full attention, so you go back to taking notes while talking to him.
  472. >”Still should take a break, you can’t stay at the top of your game if you grind yourself down like you are.”
  473. >As you look about, subject John Doe is nowhere to seen.
  474. >Drat! He must’ve retreated back inside to work on the next phase of his unseen plan.
  475. >None of the other neighbors are active either, still gotta take notes on what you can regardless.
  476. >Important stuff like weather patterns and how shadows are likely hiding secrets.
  477. “You might be right, I’d rather not have the glowies catch me off guard.”
  478. >”So does that mean you’re going to take me up on my offer?”
  479. >You sigh and get off of your soapbox, pausing momentarily to finish this conversation.
  480. “I guess, but I still need to make copies and compare notes though. This doesn’t mean I’m letting you off the hook yet.”
  481. >Rather not do this, but if it gets him off your flank, so be it.
  482. >Besides, a little break won’t hurt.
  483. >He gives you a thumbs up and smiles, “Fine by me.”
  484. “Oh and I’ll need your help in catching up on my rounds.”
  485. >”Er okay, what does that entail?”
  486.  
  487. “Just taking notes on the neighborhood, you’re not ready for inspecting the fixtures or field action.”
  488. >”Alright then, sounds like a plan. Got an ETA for me?”
  489. “Around forty five minutes, it depends on comparisons.”
  490. >Nodding, he pulls out his phone and dials a number, “More than enough time to get things ready.”
  491. >Hate how he still uses that blasted spying device.
  492. >He says he needs it to blend in with the ignorant masses, just wish he listened to your lectures on the dangers of them.
  493. >You’ve had to inform him thirteen times now!
  494. >Huh, that’s funny, feels like you’re forgetting something…
  495. >Can worry about it later, focus on finishing compiling what you have.
  496. >You make your return to the lair and begin your usual duties.
  497. >Shame it’s in such a sorry state, roughly half the walls are bare and thus devoid of the spy resistant lining.
  498. >Have had to store every bit of evidence in falsely labeled boxes to throw off any spies as well.
  499. >You bump the new ‘neighbors’ up to the top of your watch list.
  500. >Mrs. Smith is now number two because you know enough on her.
  501. >Can’t let your guard down though, she knows that you know what she really is.
  502. >And that means she’s waiting for a opening to strike, but she doesn’t know you’re prepared!
  503. >Got salt, garlic, iron, silver, just about everything you could ever need to fight off the supernatural.
  504. >Wish you knew more about the new suspects on the block.
  505. >If it weren’t for your blunder, you’d have them properly categorized by now!
  506. >No use complaining, what’s done is done.
  507. >This unknown factor makes them all the more dangerous.
  508. >They could be anything from skin-walkers to even Atlantians, gotta learn more to be sure.
  509. “Might have to make a late night trip to gather more information on them further.”
  510. >You realize your mistake too late and cover your mouth.
  511. >Note to self: stop talking about your plans out loud till repairs are finished, can never be too safe.
  512.  
  513. >Since you don’t hear anyone breaking in, you let out a sigh of relief and start comparing notes.
  514. >Nothing specific stands out among the notes, but the devil is the in details.
  515. “Hmm… I feel like there is something I’m just not seeing.”
  516. >”Are you finished?”
  517. “Eep!”
  518. >You jump and spin around to see Anon standing in the doorway.
  519. >Fool, you left the door widen open for a sneak attack!
  520. >Smiling, he leans against the fame, “Didn’t mean to spook you like that.”
  521. “Y-You didn’t scare me, I was just pretending to throw off any would be attackers off guard.”
  522. >”Sure you were.”
  523. >You feel yourself scrunch.
  524. “It’s true though, I’m always at the ready, any attack, anywhere, and anytime!”
  525. >He nods, “If you say so, anyways everything is ready in the other room, just waiting on you now.”
  526. “Okay, give me a few minutes and I’ll join you.”
  527. >”Alrighty.”
  528. >Once he is out of sight, you close the door and silently reprimand yourself.
  529. >Appears Anon was right about you being off your game.
  530. >You could’ve very well been snatched up or worse.
  531. >Perhaps you should cut things short then, just to be safe.
  532. >You’re not finished comparing all of your notes though.
  533. >That doesn’t matter if you’ve let your guard down this much, that’s when the overlords get you!
  534. “...fine, I’ll skip this till later. Besides, how bad could it be if I ignore this for just a little while?”
  535.  
  536.  
  537. ***********************************************************************************
  538.  
  539.  
  540. “Hey I’m home!”
  541. >As you set your stuff aside, you prepare yourself for the incoming interrogation like usual.
  542. >Though as you wait, several minutes pass by and no Tinny at your heels.
  543. “That’s strange, then again, she’s probably drafting up some questions or something.”
  544. >She usually does that to keep you on the tips of your toes.
  545. >Or something along the lines of making sure a changeling couldn’t learn the patterns so easily.
  546. >In the meantime, you grab yourself a drink from the kitchen.
  547. >While it doesn’t completely soothe your aches and pains, it does help somewhat.
  548. >Today was fairly challenging with a huge order that dropped in from out of nowhere.
  549. >Should’ve expected it from being let off so easily the other day.
  550. >At least that day wasn’t for nothing, you really enjoyed the marathon of X-Files with Tinny.
  551. >Though it did help her loosen up, she’s been more reclusive recently in her lair.
  552. >Even more strange is how she hasn’t been asking for your help.
  553. >Shouldn’t worry for now, you go back to the living room and plop on the couch.
  554. “At least today is Friday, so don’t gotta deal with anymore bullshit till Monday.”
  555. >Maybe you could go hang out with some of your friends, haven’t done that in a while.
  556. >But you’d have to deal with a hundred questions from Tinny on leaving.
  557. >There are times where you’re certain if you leave her home long enough that she’d turn this place into a bunker.
  558. “Heh, she can be such a pain sometimes.”
  559. >Breathing out a sigh, you take another sip while waiting.
  560. >Starting to get a serious case of deja vu coming on…
  561. >Not like she got trapped AGAIN, right?
  562. “Tinny?”
  563. >You listen carefully a minute or so before you hear the door open in the hallway.
  564. >Thank fuck, rather not have to deal with that mess again.
  565. >The sound of her hooves tapping against the floor approaches, so you brace yourself.
  566. >She comes around the couch with a shifty look on her face.
  567. >”O-Oh hey there Anon, when did you get home?”
  568.  
  569. >That’s a little suspicious.
  570. “A while ago, I even called out like you asked me to.”
  571. >Something’s up, her eyes keep darting around nervously, more so than they usual.
  572. >”Wow really? Guess I was too caught up with reading.”
  573. “Is something wrong?”
  574. >”No no of course not, I’m just nervous because of the big foot sighting that was posted.”
  575. >doubt.png
  576. >Really hope you’re wrong, but past experience has proven the contrary.
  577. “I see, so where was this new sighting at?”
  578. >Without missing a beat, “The Empire State Building.”
  579. >Staring, you say nothing and take a sip of your drink.
  580. >”Did I say Empire State Building? What I a-actually meant was… um… Yellowstone? Yeah! Yellowstone National Park, silly me got them mixed up!”
  581. >Well that all but confirms it for you.
  582. >Continuing to say nothing, you finish off your drink and wait patiently.
  583. >You’ve found that giving her the silent treatment is the best way to make her crack enough to confess.
  584. >From the way she’s looking more and more nervous, it’s clearly working.
  585. >Almost certain she would be sweating bullets if she could.
  586. >”So um if you don’t need anything else from me, I’m gonna go wran-I mean finish up reading!”
  587. >Just before she trots off, you put your hand out in front of her.
  588. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
  589. >Panic fills her face, “U-Uh no?”
  590. “What about interrogating me like you usually do when I get home?”
  591. >She waves her hoof about and tries to play off her visible relaxation.
  592. >”Oh that stupid thing, how about we skip it today? You’re busy, I’m busy, so I’m gonna go.”
  593. >She attempts to go off again, but you pick her up and look her in the eyes.
  594. >”H-Hey what gives?! You’re not planning anything are you?”
  595. “I can tell that you’re lying to me Tinny.”
  596. >”No I’m not, you’re just being paranoid.”
  597. >You arch a brow, giving her a knowing look.
  598. “Right…”
  599. >”I’m completely innocent of any crimes, no matter who tells you otherwise!”
  600. “That’s debatable, but you’re definitely hiding something from me.”
  601.  
  602. >She starts panicking more and squirm about in your grasp.
  603. >”N-No, just let me - gah - go, so I can - oof - go back to reading - sheesh you’re strong, you know that?”
  604. “Helps that I have to deal with your antics among other things, so what did you do now?”
  605. >Still trying to weasel her way out, she tries to give you puppy eyes.
  606. >”Nothing, everything is completely one hundred percent a-okay Anon.”
  607. >That may have worked before, but not this time.
  608. >You give her a glare; slowly shaking your head.
  609. “Look just tell me what you did so I can deal with… whatever it is, alright?”
  610. >”There is nothing to deal with yet.”
  611. “Yet?”
  612. >Her eyes widen and she covers her mouth with a hoof.
  613. “Right, so how about we take a little walk to your lair since you’re so eager to get back to it.”
  614. >Tinny’s squirming picks up into an all out thrash now.
  615. >”Hold on Anon, can’t we talk about this? Oh I know! How about we sit down watch some movies?”
  616. >Tucking her under your arm, you start walking towards the hallway.
  617. >”No? Okay, how about I wear cute bows and you take pictures of me again, that sound good?”
  618. >You ignore her along the way as you approach her lair.
  619. >”Come on! We don’t have to go in there, just stop and let’s talk.”
  620. >Just as you’re about to open the door she stops thrashing.
  621. >”Okay fine! I’ll tell you, just don’t open the door, please.”
  622. “Figured you’d give in eventually.”
  623. >You look at her and see her scrunching at you.
  624. >”I may have… brought in *cough* unwanted guests *cough cough*.”
  625. >Oh for the love god, please don’t let there be some fucked up monster behind this door.
  626. >That’s one thing you could do without in your life.
  627. >What are you saying, of course there isn’t.
  628. >But what if there is, Tinny is somehow functioning despite being made of tin foil.
  629. >Then that means all of her crazy conspiracies are true!
  630. >Don’t go crazy yet, just ask her calmly.
  631. “What kind of guests are we talking about here?”
  632.  
  633. >Her eyes dart between you and the door, “Just some roaches and some… mice.”
  634. “…”
  635. >”What?”
  636. “Are you serious? You brought pests into here, how-why? I’ve never seen you leave the house without me.”
  637. >”Oh right, forgot to mention that… I’ve been sneaking out while you’re not here or asleep.”
  638. >Gritting your teeth, you’re trying hard not to snap at her.
  639. >”It’s not like I meant to bring them in, I was gathering information on the ‘neighbors’ and more materials to repair the lair. They must’ve came in with the trash!”
  640. “Roaches, I can handle, but how many mice are we talking about? Because that’s gonna affect whether I get traps or call an exterminator.”
  641. >”I’m not sure, I’ve seen a few so far, maybe it’s a family?”
  642. >For fucks sake.
  643. >There goes your weekend…
  644. >Stay calm, stay calm.
  645. >”So what are you going to do?”
  646. >Forget being calm, you glare at her.
  647. “Me? No no, WE, are going to go in there and see how bad it really is. After that, WE are going to have a chat about this trash picking.”
  648. >”But Anon-”
  649. “No buts!”
  650. >Her ears fold against her head; she nods and her eyes go to the floor.
  651. >”Okay…”
  652. >Before you go in, you go grab a broom from the closet just to be safe.
  653. “...here’s hoping it’s just a few mice...”
  654. >Bracing yourself, you slowly open the door to her lair.
  655. >The moment you do so, you’re hit in the face with the oh so familiar smell of garbage.
  656. >How the hell did you not smell this before?
  657. >Better yet, how long have these been in here?
  658. >Can figure that out later, gotta deal with these mice.
  659. >At least you now get why she stopped asking for help.
  660. >In addition to the usual stuff that’s in here, there are a bags of trash piled in a corner.
  661. >Reminds you of those neet’s bedrooms you’ve seen on the web.
  662. >While you don’t see any movement, that doesn’t mean anything.
  663. “Where did you last see them?”
  664. >She points to the bags of trash piled up.
  665.  
  666. >“They were over there last, they keep trying to get into the boxes of evidence. I was trying to deal with them, but they are really tricky to catch, I think they might be spies sent by-”
  667. >You clamp your hand over her muzzle before she goes on.
  668. “I get the point.”
  669. >Mumbling something, she gives you a glare.
  670. >You ignore and set her down while you being to poke around the bags with the broom.
  671. >When that does nothing, you move them aside slowly.
  672. >Each one with no mouse found makes you feel a little better.
  673. >Before long, you’ve set them all aside.
  674. >Smiling, you look over at Tinny.
  675. “Looks like they’re not here.”
  676. >”Yeah maybe they-” Her eyes widen.
  677. >Shouldn’t have opened your mouth.
  678. “Let me guess, there’s one right behind me?”
  679. >She nods.
  680. >Slowly you turn your head and feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.
  681. >There before you is no little mouse, but a giant rat nibbling on something.
  682. “Are you fucking serious?”
  683. >The moment the words leave your mouth, it darts off behind some boxes.
  684. “Goddammit Tinny.”
  685.  
  686.  
  687. ***********************************************************************************
  688.  
  689.  
  690. >How long has it been since you last could breath freely in the safety of your lair?
  691. >Weeks maybe? Not sure, it’s hard to keep track of time.
  692. >Especially since the various threats that exist can control all the clocks in the world.
  693. >They feed the masses a boat load of lies about adjustable time pieces.
  694. >Or course you and the other truth seekers see through it all as clear as day.
  695. >Though day time may actually be fake as well, not sure yet.
  696. >Last thing you were reading about was the sky being a massive projection.
  697. >Alas, you couldn’t finish reading about it in light of the pest problem...
  698. >You groan and look over to Anon, he’s seemingly contended with this hole you’re both in.
  699. >Don’t know how he can be so calm about this, it’s absolute torture on you.
  700. “How much longer do we have to endure this prison?”
  701. >He mumbles something at first before speaking up, “like I told you last time, four more days.”
  702. “Ugghhh, can’t we risk returning sooner?”
  703. >”No, we can’t.”
  704. “Why not?”
  705. >Sighing, he shakes his head slowly, “Because fumigation lasts about a week and I’d rather not get poisoned.”
  706. “Okay, how about we swing by the house, I go in alone to get the boxes, then we can come back here?”
  707. >”Not happening.”
  708. “Oh come on!”
  709. >Breaking his attention from the TV, he starts counting off reasons on his hand.
  710. >”For one, I have no clue what any of the poison would do to you. For two, don’t want to risk any of it piggybacking on either you or the boxes.”
  711. “How about-”
  712. >”No.”
  713. “Anon please!”
  714. >”Did you forget why we are here in this motel in the first place?”
  715. >Of course he would bring that up again.
  716. >Sighing, you drop your gaze to the floor.
  717. “...because I picked through the ‘neighbors’ trash and brought in a bunch of pests.”
  718. >”Exactly.”
  719. >He goes back to his show without a care.
  720. “Still think you overreacted…”
  721. >”Did you miss how the size of those rats? They were like small dogs for crying out loud.”
  722.  
  723. “They really weren’t that big. But did you really have to get the house fumigated?”
  724. >”Yes.”
  725. >Dart it, he just doesn’t get your excellent reasoning.
  726. >You start to pace on the table while you plan something else out.
  727. >Could’ve avoided this prison if you had kept your cool like you practiced, but nope, you faltered.
  728. >Gotta work on that conditioning otherwise you’ll fall prey to interrogations from the overlords when they come for you.
  729. >Regardless, you were so close to winning the war against those pests on your own.
  730. >Just hadn’t expected the fight to last for several days.
  731. >You’re losing focus again, try to figure out something!
  732. >What can you do really, you’ve tried every trick you know on Anon.
  733. >From puppy eyes to the silent treatment, they all failed.
  734. “Grr…”
  735. >This whole place is slowly making you go insane.
  736. >Every second is another that any spies could be snooping through the house.
  737. >Those fake labels will only work for so long before they figure out what they really are.
  738. >You turn your attention to the window as you wrack your brain.
  739. >There is likely some pattern to everything going on out there.
  740. >No doubt various ploys by the faceless masters to entrap people even further, and you’re stuck in here!
  741. >Can’t take notes on them though, this place is bugged from floor to ceiling.
  742. >What’s even worse is that it has electronic locks.
  743. >Still don’t see why he couldn’t at least chosen a roach motel instead.
  744. >Sure it’s nasty, but it’s less glowie infested.
  745. >He told you he’d rather wait things out in comfort.
  746. >That’s another thing, he wouldn’t let you bring along a black light to at least inspect this place.
  747. >He wouldn’t even tell you exactly why either!
  748. >Kept dodging the question each time you asked, so finally you gave up.
  749. >You’re almost certain there are magic runes hidden in plain sight by the various travelers!
  750. >Naturally you learned about it from the deep web.
  751.  
  752. >It doesn’t matter, you’re stuck here for now…
  753. >Sighing, you continue to watch the various happenings occurring in broad daylight.
  754. >If only you could notes instead of just watching, at least then you could gain valuable data to add to the web.
  755. >The only problem being if you did take any, the spies would inform their superiors.
  756. >Even if you used a cipher, it would likely be picked apart in minutes like they do in movies.
  757. >From there it would only be a matter of time before the black vans get sent in.
  758. “There has to be something I can do!”
  759. >”You could watch this show with me or go on the web instead of moping about.”
  760. >Can feel a scrunch coming on.
  761. >You turn around and glare at Anon.
  762. “I’m not moping.”
  763. >”Sure sounds like it.”
  764. >Full scrunch mode activated!
  765. >He either isn’t paying attention or he doesn’t care.
  766. >You huff and go back to thinking.
  767. >On one hoof, he is right about lurking the deep web with your fellow truth seekers.
  768. >On the other hoof, the spies would pick up what you’re doing.
  769. >Can’t think straight with all this eggshell walking.
  770. >What you do know for certain, is that you’re being driven up the wall.
  771. >Is it really worth the risk?
  772. >Yes it is, to the deep web!
  773. >With hop, skip, and a jump, you glide onto the floor.
  774. >One of the few advantages of being made of tin foil that you enjoy.
  775. >The other is being immune to any broadcasts, scans, or psychic attacks on you.
  776. >You clamber up the desk and start browsing through the laptop like usual.
  777. >The board is lively like it always is.
  778. >Various questions, answers, random pictures of cats, the good stuff.
  779. >Still don’t fully get why people post cats, but you’ve been told some of them are apart of alphabet agencies.
  780. >For a while you look around different threads.
  781. >Lurking helps with some of the boredom, but sometimes you gotta engage with other users.
  782. >Often they’ll call you a faggot for posting anything.
  783.  
  784. >You’ve tried to explain that you’re not a bundle of sticks, but rather a tin foil pony.
  785. >Of course they don’t believe you in the slightest.
  786. >Usually get the response of “pics or gtfo”.
  787. >But you know better than to share pictures on the web.
  788. >That just helps the unseen masters build a better profile on you!
  789. >At least on the internet no one knows for sure that you’re a pony.
  790. >Now’s as good as time as any to be helpful with the newbies.
  791. >Doesn’t take long for a new thread to pop up.
  792. >You check it and find about whether astral projection is real or not.
  793. “Don’t they know about project Stargate?”
  794. >No one has responded for at least five minutes, so you respond with a link to it.
  795. >Almost immediately someone says you shouldn’t spoon feed the new fags.
  796. “What a moron, you gotta spoon feed them sometimes, otherwise they don’t learn anything.”
  797. >In the past you would respond back, but that usually resulted in hours wasted in arguing.
  798. >Took you forever to learn that people do it intentionally as something called ‘trolling’.
  799. >You move on to another thread, helping out where you can.
  800. “JFK? Yep, was an inside job by time traveling hit men.”
  801. >As you’re doing your usual, you hear some movement behind you.
  802. >You turn and see Anon getting his stuff on.
  803. “Are you leaving somewhere?”
  804. >”Yeah, gonna go grab dinner. Behave while I’m out, okay?”
  805. “Not like I can get into any trouble while I’m locked in here.”
  806. >He smirks and folds his arms, “Sure about that?”
  807. “Even if I wanted to, this place is bugged, so they’d get the jump on me.”
  808. >”Look, just promise me, please?”
  809. >Sighing, you smile and nod.
  810. “Okay, I promise I’ll stay out of trouble.”
  811. >He nods and comes over, petting you on the head.
  812. >”Good, how about when we get home, you can teach me some more about what you’re learning there.”
  813. “What, are you sure? It could take a while to teach you everything.”
  814.  
  815. >”Well maybe not everything, but some stuff would be fine.”
  816. “There is so much to cover: moth man, yetis, the chupacabra, and many more creatures that are out there!”
  817. >He laughs, “Let’s start small, how about whatever it is you’re looking at right now?”
  818. >You look back to the screen; it’s on a thread about contacting the spirit world.
  819. >Weird, don’t remember clicking that one.
  820. >Doesn’t matter.
  821. “Okay, it’s gonna be a little different from the usual stuff we talk about though.”
  822. >”Sometimes that’s a good way to learn something.”
  823. “I guess so.”
  824. >”Alright then, be right back.”
  825. >As he opens the door up, you notice that’s numbered as thirteen.
  826. “How did I not notice that before?”
  827. >Though now that you have, something about it seems important.
  828. >You tap your hoof against your chin as you ponder it for a bit.
  829. >However after a few minutes, you come up with nothing and go back to the board.
  830. “Let’s see… the moon landing? Well of course it was fake, the moon is actually the backside of the sun!”
  831.  
  832.  
  833. ***********************************************************************************
  834.  
  835.  
  836. “So why are we doing this again?”
  837. >”Because you said that despite me having evidence and explaining it to you, you’d rather have a hands on experience with the supernatural.”
  838. “Ah, right…”
  839. >”If you want, we can stop and I can go grab-”
  840. >You wave your hand and shake your head.
  841. “No this is fine, just didn’t realize all the prep work.”
  842. >”Well duh, you really didn’t think that it would just be chanting Latin in a dark room, did you?”
  843. >Yes.png
  844. “Nah.”
  845. >”Alright then, enough of your belly aching.”
  846. >She goes back to checking the papers she brought along.
  847. >In hindsight, you didn’t expect to be spending your evening doing this.
  848. >Not one of your better ideas, but it’s better to go along with it.
  849. >This is by far the most janky ritual set up you’ve ever seen.
  850. >Especially compared to the ones you’ve seen in movies and such.
  851. >A combination of various candles from around the house (some you had to go buy), poorly drawn sigils in marker, and of course, it’s after dark; the lights are off as well.
  852. >The way the light reflects off her tin foil body adds an element of spookiness, so it’s not so bad.
  853. >Though having to move all the crap around the living room to make room for this wasn’t.
  854. >She insisted that the ritual needed a whole lot of space to make things perfect.
  855. >Even more so, she brought out a defense kit she cooked up to protect the two of you.
  856. >Almost couldn’t keep a straight face once you saw it.
  857. >It falls into just about every stereotype from various media.
  858. >Seriously, garlic and salt? Pfft!
  859. >Keep a straight face.
  860. >”Hmm…”
  861. “So how’s it going over there?”
  862. >She mumbles something unintelligible.
  863. “Couldn’t quite hear you.”
  864. >She sighs, “I said I’m having a hard time reading this in the dark.”
  865. “You’re the one that insisted that we keep the lights off. I can turn them back on to make things easier.”
  866. >Tinny points a hoof at you, “No don’t, we don’t want to anger any spirits Anon!”
  867.  
  868. >Chuckling, you raise your hands defensively.
  869. “Alright I won’t, just figured I’d offer.”
  870. >”Appreciate it, but I don’t wanna mess this up. Never done anything like this before…”
  871. “I’m sure everything will be fine.”
  872. >Tinny nods and goes back to reading.
  873. >Wouldn’t trust anything printed off the internet on this crap, but you don’t expect anything to come from it.
  874. >Because in the end, you’re doing this to keep her happy and change things up a bit.
  875. >She squints and rereads a section before she taps her hoof against the paper.
  876. >”Aha, got it now!”
  877. “Great, so how’s this gonna work?”
  878. >”We close our eyes, say the words, and then we await contact.”
  879. >Sounds straight forward enough.
  880. >Still don’t know why you two couldn’t use an oujia board instead.
  881. >She said the ones from the store are fake and won’t work.
  882. “So what are the words to say, or are you going to leave me hanging?”
  883. >”Oh right sorry, take a look.” She slides one sheet over to you.
  884. >It’s certainly unique, looks like the mad ramblings of some mental patient.
  885. “Is this supposed to be pronounced specifically or no?”
  886. >She shrugs, “Dunno, never done this before like I said.”
  887. >As you’re memorizing it, you feel like it’s time to ham things up a little.
  888. “So if we say this wrong, we might summon a demon that will take our souls?”
  889. >Her eyes widen in fear, “W-What? No of course not! This is purely for contacting the spirit world and nothing more. Even if they were malevolent, I have the kit to protect us!”
  890. >No brakes on this train.
  891. >You wiggle your fingers at her in a spooky manner.
  892. “Alright, but if we somehow conjure a ghoul that eats me, I’m so coming back to haunt you.”
  893. >At that, she pokes you and glares, “Stop messing around and get serious you jerk.”
  894. >As you chuckle, you go back to reading and shrug.
  895. “Sorry, just having a little fun.”
  896. >She mumbles something that you ignore.
  897. >Feeling confident, you nod and set the paper aside.
  898. “Ready when you are.”
  899.  
  900. >Tinny practically starts bouncing in place.
  901. >”This is gonna blow your mind Anon, just remember what I said.”
  902. >Nodding, you smile at her giddiness.
  903. >She closes her eyes and you follow in suite.
  904. >”I’ll start chanting and you follow, okay?”
  905. “Got it.”
  906. >”...esroh yssup slp...esroh yssup slp...esroh yssup slp…”
  907. “...esroh yssup slp...esroh yssup slp...esroh yssup slp”
  908. >The two of you repeat the lines again and again.
  909. >Several minutes go by in complete silence, save for you two; as expected, nothing is happening.
  910. >You open your eyes and shortly after, she peeks out of one.
  911. >”Is anything happening?”
  912. “Not that I can see.”
  913. >”Weird… maybe we need to try again?”
  914. “Alright.”
  915. >Just like last time, you repeat the same song and dance.
  916. >Still nothing of course.
  917. >Tinny looks fairly puzzled and taps her hoof against her chin.
  918. >”I’m sure I followed everything correctly.”
  919. “Maybe you missed a step?”
  920. >”I don’t know, maybe? Guess I can check the thread to be sure, yell if anything happens!”
  921. “Will do.”
  922. >With that, she dashes off into the room, leaving you alone to all of this.
  923. >Not like there is anything that is going to happen anyway.
  924. >You pick up the other papers she brought and look them over.
  925. >Various pictures of symbols, scribbles, and oddly the number thirteen repeating.
  926. >Sighing, you continue to thumb through the various sheets.
  927. “Maybe it’s time for her to realize that this is all fake, it’s for the best really.”
  928. >Especially since-
  929. “Ouch!”
  930. >The paper falls into the circle as you yank your hand back to examine it.
  931. “Motherfucking paper cut.”
  932. >Considering all the trouble that is caused from her antics, it’s probably time to-
  933. “The fuck is that smell? It smells like really cheap perfume.”
  934. >Either Tinny is causing trouble or you’re about to suffer a stroke.
  935. >That’s the last thing you need.
  936. >Before you can do anything, all the candles go out at once.
  937. “Well that’s ominous.”
  938. >No need to panic, it was likely the wind.
  939.  
  940. >It’s not like-
  941. >A ball of faint red light forms from within the ritual circle.
  942. “...the fuck?”
  943. >As it starts to take shape, you feel panic start to take over.
  944. “No, no no no, this isn’t real, I’m just hallucinating or having a dream.”
  945. >The form finishes taking shape; even though it’s still dark, you recognize it.
  946. “No fucking way, we summoned a pony?”
  947. >A pale mare stands in the circle, staring at you with reddish eyes and mane.
  948. >”...fufufufu, not just anypony, a succupony.”
  949. “Come again?”
  950. >”A succupony, you may call me Lithium.”
  951. “Lithium, what kind of-hold on a sec, a succupony is actually a thing?”
  952. >She seems a little surprised, “What else did you expect to come from this ritual?”
  953. “Nothing, because it’s all fake, the spirit world isn’t real.”
  954. >”Oh I assure you, it’s all very real.”
  955. >Don’t know what the look is on her face, but you’re not liking it.
  956. >She takes a step towards you.
  957. >Just get up and-
  958. >Then another.
  959. >What the fuck, why can’t get you move?!
  960. >Timetopanic.jpg
  961. >She takes one last step before stopping, now wearing a very large grin that sends shivers up your spine.
  962. >Just before you say anything, she points a hoof at you.
  963. >”Wow, you’re such a degenerate, you like… hoof holding, staring into your lover’s eyes, and… sharing breath?”
  964. >No fucking way.
  965. “Holy shit, you can read my inner most thoughts?”
  966. >”No, that was just a guess.”
  967. “Oh.”
  968. >Pasta is nearly spilling out of your pockets.
  969. >”But we can do all those lewd things things and more…”
  970. >She sashays her hips and gives you a toothy smile.
  971. >”...all you gotta do is give me your sole in exchange.”
  972. >Nope.png
  973. “Not happening.”
  974. >She looks confused and shakes her head, “You summoned me, so that’s how this works.”
  975. “This is just a big misunderstanding, you can leave and I can keep my immortal soul.”
  976. >She frowns, “I’m not going anywhere, just give me your shoe and can do lewd stuff.”
  977. “My shoe, why the-”
  978. >The lights turn on without warning; blinding you momentarily.
  979.  
  980. >”What’s going on in here?!” Says an all too familiar voice.
  981. >You snap your head over and as your vision clears up, you see Tinny standing atop a box by the light switch.
  982. “Oh man, you have no idea how glad I am to see you Tinny, this-”
  983. >She cuts you off and points an accusing hoof at you, “Is this what I think this is Anon?!”
  984. “Yeah I couldn’t believe it at first either, but yeah she is.”
  985. >Groaning, she shakes her head and scrunches hard.
  986. >“Oh come on, I knew you were bored, but couldn’t you have at least warned me before hiring somepony off the street?”
  987. >uwotm8.
  988. “What?”
  989. >”Look I get it, I’ve seen your search history and I know you’re a lonely guy.”
  990. >Note to self: clear search history.
  991. “Tinny this isn’t what you think it is, she’s a succupony that’s after my soul, I accidentally summoned her somehow!”
  992. >”Right… a succupony. Anon that’s not a real thing.”
  993. >Dafuq is this shit?
  994. >How does she not see what that thing really is?!
  995. >You look back over and freeze immediately.
  996. >With the lights back on, you can make her out clearly; now you see why she’s saying all of this.
  997. >The succupony is wearing badly applied makeup, fake horns, wings, and a wig.
  998. “How the hell did I not notice that?”
  999. >She blinks a few times, looking between you two.
  1000. >”Huh, didn’t expect this when you summoned me, but whatever, just means two soles.”
  1001. >Oh for fucks sake!
  1002. “Why the hell are you after my shoes?”
  1003. >”Because where else would I get a sole?”
  1004. “Because that’s...that’s… I feel like an idiot now.”
  1005. >From behind you, Tinny huffs, “I’m just gonna go be in my lair while you do your thing, come get me when it’s over.”
  1006. “No wait, it’s not what it looks like!”
  1007. >You stand up and try to stop her, but she’s already taken off.
  1008. “Goddammit, the one time shit actually happens and she doesn’t believe it. The fuck kinda logic is this?”
  1009. >”Ahem.”
  1010. >Turning back, the succupony is staring up at you with half lidded eyes.
  1011.  
  1012. >”Now that we’re alone, how about we pick up where we left off...”
  1013. “Argh! Alright listen here whatever your name was, can’t you just go?”
  1014. >”Told you before, my name is Lithium, and no, I can’t like I said.”
  1015. >Starting to feel a migraine coming on.
  1016. >All you wanted to do tonight was keep Tinny occupied and maybe go back the usual conspiracy crap.
  1017. >But no, now you’ve got a demon in your house.
  1018. “How about this, I go buy you some shoes and you leave, deal?”
  1019. >She brightens up at that.
  1020. >”You’d really do that for- I mean, I can’t do that, I have to do my job otherwise my boss would yell at me. Plus this is my first gig.”
  1021. “Oh for crying out loud…”
  1022. >Breath man, breath.
  1023. >There must be something you can do.
  1024. >As you’re looking at Lithium again, you try to think of something.
  1025. >She is kind of cute…
  1026. >What the hell?!
  1027. >Come on, it’s not like you’re that desperate.
  1028. >Are you?
  1029. “So uh… about that hoof holding?”
  1030.  
  1031.  
  1032. ***********************************************************************************
  1033.  
  1034.  
  1035. *yawn*
  1036. >Rise and shine little pony, rise and shine.
  1037. >Can’t waste time too much sleeping, your home and Anon need protecting.
  1038. >Blinking slowly, you on focus on the open pocket watch nearby.
  1039. “About… forty three minutes. Maybe a little too much?”
  1040. >It ticks away softly as you look at it.
  1041. >Remember getting it as a birthday gift from Anon, mostly because you don’t trust digital ones.
  1042. >Only problem is due to its mechanical nature, you have to rely on Anon to wind it up occasionally.
  1043. >You put it away for now and stand up on the bed.
  1044. “Gotta focus, just need to make sure the next nap is shorter to mix things up.”
  1045. >With that out of the way, time to do the usual after waking up, inspections.
  1046. >First, your immediate surroundings. Can never be sure if someone, or Anon, has moved something.
  1047. >Bed is in order, oddly displaced sock by the side is still there, and everything else appears to be where it belongs.
  1048. >All good, for a first pass that is.
  1049. >A second and third pass helps quell any possible concerns.
  1050. >Onto the second set of inspections, the lair.
  1051. >You trot into the hallway, hearing the TV in the other room, no doubt Anon is watching something mind numbing.
  1052. >Ignoring that, you give the door a test pull, and it gives far too easily.
  1053. “Wait, what?”
  1054. >A flame of panic flickers to life within immediately.
  1055. >This can only mean one thing…
  1056. >There’s a spy within your lair and are likely digging through your documents!
  1057. >Hold on, have to be absolutely sure it’s not just your imagination playing tricks on you.
  1058. >Another test pull proves it, pouring more fuel onto the flame of panic.
  1059. >Another test proves it, fueling the flame of panic even more.
  1060. “Oh no…”
  1061. >Can’t let your emotions cloud your focus, remember your training!
  1062. >You take a moment or two to recall some happy memories.
  1063. >Things like the shows you watched with Anon, or the first time you found the deep web.
  1064. >All good times, each lessens the panic you had.
  1065.  
  1066. >Feeling confident, now you gotta asses the threat and decide what to do from there.
  1067. “...easier said than done…”
  1068. >You put your ear against the door, listening carefully as you ignore the TV from the other room.
  1069. >…
  1070. >Silence.
  1071. >No doubt they heard you coming with their high end equipment.
  1072. >Curse them and their unlimited funds!
  1073. >Don’t complain about that, you know that this day was going to come sooner or later.
  1074. >But what to do?
  1075. >Could escape now with Anon to prevent any potential harm.
  1076. >No! That sounds like a cowards way out, stand up and fight filly!
  1077. “...right..!”
  1078. >Still gotta figure out how many enemies you’ll be encountering inside.
  1079. >Best case: there’s only one and they’re just some lackey, can handle that easily!
  1080. >Worse case however: several well trained alphabet soldiers, will have to flee then.
  1081. >But which fallback plan to rely on? Not to mention all the-
  1082. >Enough!
  1083. >All this overthinking is getting you nowhere right now.
  1084. >Continue forth with assessment of the situation.
  1085. >Very carefully, and quiet as can be, you open the door ever slowly.
  1086. >Every inch opened is another inch revealed within.
  1087. >Can’t see a soul in sight so far.
  1088. >Don’t let your guard down for even a second, this is what they’re counting on!
  1089. >You finish opening it up just enough for you to slip in easily.
  1090. “...time to put my training to the test…”
  1091. >You poke your head in, however, there is no glowies nor any spies for that matter.
  1092. >But wait, what if they’re using cloaking devices and that’s why you can’t see them?
  1093. >Almost fling yourself back at that revelation, thankfully though, you retreat back into the safety of the hallway.
  1094. “...idiot, could’ve ended up in an unmarked warehouse if – no – just focus..!”
  1095. >That’s another thing, stop talking out loud, even if it’s just whispering!
  1096. >Nodding, you prepare yourself again.
  1097. >Since they’re using cloaking tech, be casual in entering, like nothing is wrong.
  1098. >Sometimes being so overt is being completely covert after all.
  1099.  
  1100. >Opening the door completely this time, you walk in normally.
  1101. “Time to check my reports and add to the secret documents.”
  1102. >Stay frost, they’re going to make their move when they think your guard is completely lowered.
  1103. >While faking tasks, nothing is happening, everything appears normal still.
  1104. >All the boxes, documents, and the web itself are the same as earlier.
  1105. >Doesn’t mean a thing, they likely anticipated this!
  1106. >Time to make yourself seem more vulnerable.
  1107. >You check a box with your back turned.
  1108. >Nothing of real importance in here, just some some scribbles you cooked up while out with Anon.
  1109. >Wait for it…
  1110. >Can feel the tension building up with every passing second.
  1111. >Wait for it!
  1112. >It feels like they’re just behind you with their fingers mere inches from your body.
  1113. >Carefully, you draw out a special box cutter you concealed within some of your foil for such an occasion.
  1114. >Spinning around to face your cloaked intruders, you start your attack.
  1115. “Take that! And that! And this! Is all that you got you pansy?!”
  1116. >Swinging to; fro with wild strikes and stabs.
  1117. >However, nothing is happening.
  1118. >No blood spatters, no thumps of bodies hitting the floor, nor any words said.
  1119. “Die glowie! Back to your overlord masters!”
  1120. >Other than your shouting.
  1121. >Your movements slow as this dawns on you, so you start looking about frantically for anything.
  1122. >What’s going on, why aren’t you hitting them?!
  1123. >Unless… unless they’re on the ceiling where you can’t reach them!
  1124. >Your eyes dart upwards and your body freezes.
  1125. >Of course they didn’t want to fight fair, they knew they couldn’t fight you on the ground.
  1126. >Can’t possibly reach them up there, time to do the only thing you can do.
  1127. “ANON, IT’S HAPPENING, WE HAVE TO ESCAPE!”
  1128. >You toss your box cutter as a distraction and gallop out of the lair.
  1129. >With as fast as your little legs can move, you surge into the living room.
  1130. “Ow!”
  1131. >And head first into the couch.
  1132. >Anon pokes his head over, looking curiously at you, “Sup?”
  1133.  
  1134. >Rubbing your head, you glare at him.
  1135. “No time for games, we have to evacuate! The lair has been compromised, I repeat, the lair has been compromised!”
  1136. >He arches a brow, “So that’s what you were shouting about. Sure it’s not a false alarm like last time?”
  1137. “What – no! I’m sure of it this time, the door trap was disarmed, so they clearly got in!”
  1138. >Nodding, he leans over the couch and scoops you up.
  1139. >Thank goodness he understands.
  1140. “We have to enact the escape plan we went over. You do remember it right?”
  1141. >“Yep, sure do.”
  1142. “Excellent, let’s go!”
  1143. >You point dramatically to the door and…
  1144. >No running, no standing his ground, just sitting.
  1145. “What are you doing, Anon? We have to go now!”
  1146. >You point to the door again, but still nothing.
  1147. >At his silence, you look up at him.
  1148. >He’s readjusted himself back to watching the TV like he was before.
  1149. “Anon?”
  1150. >“Tinny.”
  1151. “Why aren’t you running?”
  1152. >”Cuz there’s nothing wrong.” He replies nonchalantly.
  1153. >Darn it, why is he always like this in times of great crisis?!
  1154. >Except for that one time with prostitute pony, but that was different.
  1155. >…
  1156. >Ugh, out of everything to remember, why’d it have to be that?
  1157. >No, stop getting distracted, focus on helping him!
  1158. “There is everything wrong, they’ll be here any second!”
  1159. >“Tinny.”
  1160. “Oh no, it’s going to be over any-”
  1161. >“Tinny!”
  1162. “What?!”
  1163. >He looks at you with pursed lips, “Calm. Down. Breath.”
  1164. “I am calm! You’re the one acting like there isn’t an immediate threat coming.”
  1165. >”That’s because there isn’t.”
  1166. “No there is! You’re just ignoring it!”
  1167. >Sighing, he runs a hand over his face.
  1168. >“If there were someone else in the house, don’t you think they would’ve gotten us by now?”
  1169. “They’re waiting for an opening to strike, then bam!”
  1170. >”But wouldn’t it have been easier to get you while you were napping? Or what about me being distracted by the show for that matter?”
  1171. >Actually, that’s a really good point, you both were quite vulnerable a bit ago.
  1172. >Maybe… no, NO!
  1173.  
  1174. >This is what he always does, underplays the dangers that threaten the two of you.
  1175. “Grr, it’s a trap Anon, that’s how they pick random people off so easily!”
  1176. >“Really?”
  1177. “Yes really!”
  1178. >He looks around the room casually before looking back to you.
  1179. >”Well where are they then?”
  1180. >Just as you’re about to argue again, you pause.
  1181. >Where the heck are they anyway?
  1182. >The two of you should be bound and gagged, halfway to some unmarked warehouse by now.
  1183. >”Have you considered that you didn’t set the trap back up before taking your nap?”
  1184. >You open and close your mouth several times; stopping finally to think.
  1185. >Did your usual rounds, talked to Anon briefly about the squirrel’s new F.O.B. and after that, you told him you were taking a nap.
  1186. >One thing you don’t recall clearly is setting back up the door trap.
  1187. “Maybe… Maybe I did forget to do it.”
  1188. >Shrugging, his eyes go back to the TV.
  1189. >”Everyone forgets things from time to time, Tinny.”
  1190. “Suppose… but I’m not like everyone else.”
  1191. >He chuckles, but says nothing.
  1192. “Something funny?”
  1193. >”You’re right, you’re not like everyone else. You’re extra special.”
  1194. “Oh, well um… thanks.”
  1195. >”You’re welcome.”
  1196. “What are you even watching anyways?”
  1197. >”Some nature documentary in Africa.”
  1198. >Looking at the TV, it appears some gazelles are pronking away from some predator.
  1199. >Some man with a British accent is narrating the events unfolding on the screen.
  1200. >No doubt another way to placate the masses.
  1201. >After all, no one actually gets that close to wild animals without the consent of the overlords.
  1202. >”So, wanna watch this with me? I’d wouldn’t mind the company.”
  1203. >You think it over for a few seconds.
  1204. >Still a little on edge from your panic and need to take the time to plan things out better next time.
  1205. “I guess I can, but only for a little bit! Still gotta do my rounds of the home.”
  1206. >”Fair enough.”
  1207. >You cuddle up some more to him, watching as several lions sprint after the gazelles.
  1208.  
  1209. >Though something catches your attention now that you’re this close to him.
  1210. “Hey Anon?”
  1211. >”Yeah Tinny?”
  1212. “Why do you smell like cheap perfume and sulfur?”
  1213. >He flinches immediately.
  1214. >Weird, why’d he do that?
  1215. >”Uh… it’s because of work, yeah, chemicals from work is why.”
  1216. “Ah, well you should wash it off when you can. It smells pretty bad, almost like you’ve been rolling in it.”
  1217. >”Y-Yeah, will do.”
  1218.  
  1219.  
  1220. ***********************************************************************************
  1221.  
  1222.  
  1223. >Taking a moment away from the screen, you stretch and pop your shoulders.
  1224. >With how quiet; peaceful today has been so far, it’s starting to become rather boring.
  1225. >Considering the various happenings that occur in your home, it’s probably for the best.
  1226. >You go back to shifting through the backlog of emails.
  1227. “Hot singles in your area, work from home jobs… how does this crap get by the damn spam filter?”
  1228. >Some murmuring from behind the door catches your attention.
  1229. >Appears that you have jinxed yourself.
  1230. >Hopefully this doesn’t end up causing a headache in more ways than one.
  1231. >It’s quite surprising that she didn’t show up sooner with another conspiracy related thing.
  1232. >All you can do for now is prepare for whatever Tinny is about to unleash.
  1233. >At the door creaking open, you refocus on the mail before you.
  1234. >She’s oddly quiet as she approaches.
  1235. >Guess it’s not serious, which is pretty darn rare.
  1236. >A few minutes go by in complete silence, save for the clicking of the mouse as you check email.
  1237. >Should you be concerned?
  1238. >…
  1239. >Awful question, Tinny always manages to make you concerned.
  1240. >*Ahem*
  1241. “Something on your mind, Tin Tin?”
  1242. >“So…”
  1243. “So what?”
  1244. >“You know what.”
  1245. >Here we go, another insane thing she – hold it, there is a chance (no matter how slim) that this may be important.
  1246. >Especially considering the ‘incident’ sometime ago.
  1247. >Pushing that thought to the side for now, you turn your attention down to her.
  1248. >Her muzzle is scrunched and is attempting to give an intimidating glare.
  1249. >It fails to do that though, rather, it’s quite cute.
  1250. “No, I don’t. You came in, said ‘so’, that’s all I know so far.”
  1251. >She stomps a hoof in frustration as her scrunch intensifies.
  1252. >“Do I really have to explain what’s wrong here?”
  1253. >Starting to feel a headache form, should’ve seen that coming.
  1254. >You set the computer to sleep for now while you deal with this.
  1255. “Yes, you do. That’s what normal people do: they tell someone a thing and the other person responds back.”
  1256.  
  1257. >She mumbles something incoherent before continuing.
  1258. >“Stop trying to hide the truth from me, Anon! I know what you’ve been doing.”
  1259. “You’re being really vague now, gotta be specific about what I’ve been hiding. Because there is a lot of things I do that I don’t tell you.”
  1260. >Puffing out her little chest, she points an accusing hoof at you.
  1261. >“Bet you thought you were so clever in covering your tracks. But not well enough.”
  1262. “Is this some game where I’m supposed to guess what I did? Because you’re still being vague, Tinny.”
  1263. >“Grr… you’ve been lying to me, that’s what! You’re the one who disabled the traps in my lair.”
  1264. “Hold, you said ‘traps’ as in multiple. The only one I knew of was the glitter one up by the door.”
  1265. >“Of course I mean multiple. How else am I supposed to safeguard all the evidence I accumulated?”
  1266. “Isn’t all of that information freely available though?”
  1267. >Her eye twitches.
  1268. >“I – er – no, no of course not! You’ve gotta go to the deep web and- gah! Never mind that, you do admit to your crime then?”
  1269. >You intertwine your fingers across your chest as you lean back.
  1270. “Now that you’ve actually told me, yes, but it was just the the glitter one like I said.”
  1271. >She lets out a low growl as she starts to pace back and forth, mumbling all the while.
  1272. >Probably should’ve told her, or at least set the thing back up before she found out.
  1273. >Though now you’re concerned about the other traps you somehow managed to avoid while in there.
  1274. >Last thing you want if you head back in is to end up in the hospital for setting one off.
  1275. >She finally stops pacing and sighs.
  1276. >“Why didn’t you ask me for permission first?”
  1277. “One: it’s our house, so I don’t have to; two: last time I did, you put me through an hour long interrogation.”
  1278. >“True, but if you had asked me, I would’ve disabled the traps. Besides, the questions have to be thorough.”
  1279. “But did it really have to be over a hundred questions AND have sub questions to those as well?”
  1280.  
  1281. >“Of course! How else am I supposed to know if it’s really you or a doppelganger?”
  1282. “Pretty sure a doppelganger of me would do whatever it pleases rather than politely asking you. Also, my missing car keys wasn’t a good enough reason at that time?”
  1283. >She rubs her chin and nods slowly.
  1284. >“Hmm… looks like I need to research more about doppelgangers later. But your keys weren’t in there anyways.”
  1285. >A frown crosses your lips as you recall the events of that day.
  1286. >Spent hours searching for them, almost made you late for that appointment.
  1287. “Yeah, they mysteriously show up minutes later on my bed after I asked to search your lair.”
  1288. >“Th-That’s because you left them there, duh.”
  1289. >You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh.
  1290. “Tinny, I make the bed shortly after getting up in the morning…”
  1291. >She nods, “Yes, I know. What’s your point?”
  1292. “So don’t you think I would’ve noticed them there when I did that?”
  1293. >Her eyes dart to the side, “You overlook things all the time, how else do you think I’m able to see so many unknowns?”
  1294. >Shaking your head slowly, the headache begins to throb slowly.
  1295. >Her stomping a hoof refocuses you back to the matter at hand.
  1296. >“Why were you in my lair anyways? I need to know!”
  1297. “My pen died while filling out some bills, and I couldn’t find a spare in here, so I borrowed one of yours.”
  1298. >“But that’s not all you did while in there.”
  1299. “Really, what else are you accusing me of?”
  1300. >“You went through the supernatural evidence I have filed away in a box.”
  1301. >Is she being serious – wait.
  1302. >The memory comes back, you did take a peek at a few of them… for reasons.
  1303. >Good reasons.
  1304. >At your silence, she smirks and presses on.
  1305. >“I have all the evidence categorized preciously, or did you think I wouldn’t them out of place?”
  1306. >Out of everything to forget, it had to be the system spent hours showing you a while ago.
  1307. “So I messed up your ordering, but I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal about it.”
  1308.  
  1309. >“Why? Why! That and the traps being disabled made me believe that we were being invaded by agents of the overlords or worse.”
  1310. “Oh.”
  1311. >She nods slowly, “Now you get it?”
  1312. “Yeah, I do. Didn’t realize I was the cause of that commotion. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, Tin Tin.”
  1313. >Your headache starts to subside as her expression softens.
  1314. >“I accept your apology, just ask me next time please.”
  1315. “Yeah.”
  1316. >If this means you can avoid traps or another headache like this, then it’s fine.
  1317. >“With that out of the way, there is something super important I need to ask you.”
  1318. >You motion for her to continue.
  1319. “Lay it on me.”
  1320. >She turns her back to you and starts to fiddle about oddly.
  1321. >Can’t quite make it out either.
  1322. >Past experience reminds you to not ask, but to wait and see instead.
  1323. >Tinny turns back to you with a handful (hooful) of small pieces of paper.
  1324. >They look awfully familiar, almost like-
  1325. >“Why do you have so many shoe receipts, Anon? I found at least ten in my searches.”
  1326. >Shit, didn’t you bury those at the bottom of the trash where she-
  1327. >Wait.
  1328. >Pursing your lips, you feel that headache begin its triumphed return.
  1329. “You dug those out of the trash.”
  1330. >For a split second, she looks like a deer caught in headlights.
  1331. >“Th-That’s not the point, why did you buy so many?”
  1332. >Wonderful, just wonderful…
  1333. >Gonna have to look to see how much of a mess she made later.
  1334. >Hopefully it’s not too bad.
  1335. “Tinny, did you forget what happened last time you went rooting through the trash?”
  1336. >“But you didn’t answer my question about why you have so many in the first place.”
  1337. “Have you been digging through the trash in the neighborhood too?”
  1338. >“Stop avoiding the question, Anon.”
  1339. “So you have been then?”
  1340. >“No, I haven’t been going through their trash.”
  1341. “You know, I’m having a really hard time believing you didn’t.”
  1342. >Her ears flatten against her head as she snorts and stomps her hooves.
  1343.  
  1344. >“Gah! You said I am forbidden from digging through any of the neighbor’s trash, so I haven’t. However, you never said I couldn’t dig through ours. Plus I only went through the one in the kitchen.”
  1345. >Rubbing your temples slowly, you try to ease the throbbing within.
  1346. >Need to end this before it just repeats history.
  1347. “Tinny, listen to me. You cannot keep digging through our trash.”
  1348. >“Oh come on, Anon! I’ve been doing this for a while now and you haven’t complained yet.”
  1349. >At that, you stop rubbing your temples and stare blankly at her.
  1350. >She has a look of complete innocence, like she’s done nothing wrong.
  1351. >However, you know better.
  1352. >Remember that headache you were trying to stop?
  1353. >Yeah.
  1354. >It’s not a headache anymore, it’s decided to become a migraine.
  1355. >Letting out a low grumble as you open a drawer from your desk, you grab a bottle of aspirin.
  1356. >Keep one handy for occasions just like this.
  1357. >“What’s that for?”
  1358. “It’s to handle all this trouble I’m dealing with, be right back.”
  1359. >Just as you rise, she darts over to the door, she closes and braces herself against it.
  1360. “Not just yet, I’ve answered all your questions, it’s only fair that you answer mine. Why do you have so many receipts, Anon? Do they have a deeper meaning? Are you hiding something from me?”
  1361. >The migraine picks up in pulse, making you grit your teeth.
  1362. >Whatever patience you had is just about gone.
  1363. “Oh for the love… if I tell you, will you drop it?”
  1364. >She nods vigorously enough to make her foil crinkle audibly.
  1365. >If it wasn’t for this migraine, that would probably be cute enough to make you smile.
  1366. >Such a shame too.
  1367. “I got them for the succupony. Happy now?”
  1368. >Tinny frowns and takes on a look of disgust.
  1369. >“Ugh, you’re still going on about that nonsense? Come on Anon, I told you those aren’t real.”
  1370. >Honestly, really should’ve seen that coming from a mile way.
  1371. >Even seeing Lithium with her own two eyes wasn’t enough to make her believe last time.
  1372.  
  1373. >And to think you were feeling bored earlier.
  1374. >Would rather have had that over this madness…
  1375. >Another bolt of pain saps up the last of your patience.
  1376. “Move.”
  1377. >She shakes her head rapidly side to side.
  1378. >“No, not till you tell me the actual truth and not anymore of those weird fantasies of yours.”
  1379. >She’s not moving and you’re not going to deal with her antics right now.
  1380. >Only one thing left to do in these kinds of situations.
  1381. >In one quick motion, you descend upon and snatch her up, tucking her under your arm like a football.
  1382. >“Hey put me down!”
  1383. “No.”
  1384. >You open the door and head off towards the kitchen.
  1385. >Need both a drink (preferably something other than water) and to check the trash.
  1386. >Along the way, Tinny thrashes in your grasp.
  1387. >“Darn it Anon! Just tell me about the receipts an-”
  1388. >You cut her off by wrapping your hand around her muzzle.
  1389. >Even with the various things she puts you through, it’s something you knew would happen when you first got Tinny.
  1390.  
  1391.  
  1392. ***********************************************************************************
  1393.  
  1394.  
  1395. >Pausing briefly to check the time, it’s three minutes pass six in the morning.
  1396. >On your current patrol the coast has been clear, at least of any immediate happenings.
  1397. >However, there’s not a shred of doubt in your mind that will change.
  1398. >So you can’t lower your guard, not for even one second.
  1399. >Can’t risk growing complacent from it.
  1400. >That’s just what the overlords want: another dumb and submissive slave to use.
  1401. >But you’re not dumb nor submissive though, are you?
  1402. >No, of course not!
  1403. >Then what are you?
  1404. >You’re Tinny; defender of the homestead, vanquisher of otherworldly threats, seeker of truth and justice!
  1405. “Er…”
  1406. >Alright, might want to work on those titles.
  1407. >Either something more specific or straight to the point would be better.
  1408. >Something like… like those stickers Anon got you!
  1409. >Your favorite is a tie between ‘Cool Filly’ and ‘Awesome Pony’.
  1410. >There will be time to brainstorm more on that later.
  1411. >For now, need to focus on your current task: Protecting the house and Anon.
  1412. >As you enter into the kitchen, the trashcan in the corner catches your eye.
  1413. >Haven’t forgotten Anon forbidding you from touching it.
  1414. >Still don’t get why he can’t understand your sound reasoning.
  1415. >It’s perfectly normal to go through trash.
  1416. >Hobos do it all the time and they’re alright, so why can’t you?
  1417. >After all, where else are you going to find things to supplement your search for the truth?
  1418. >That’s how you discovered that the produce from the local grocery store has hallucinogenics in it.
  1419. >Used the science kit Anon got you to carefully analyze it.
  1420. >Compared the results to the ones you found on the deep web and even printed them out.
  1421. >Despite all of that, he still didn’t believe you, said it was just moldy.
  1422. >Darn it, you’re getting off track again.
  1423. >Really need to break that habit.
  1424. >Otherwise it will get you captured by the enemy one day.
  1425. >With the aid of a chair from the table, you scope out the backyard.
  1426. >Not a whole lot to see in the early morning.
  1427.  
  1428. >Some movement changes that, so you crouch down to lower your profile.
  1429. >Learned that on the deep web too.
  1430. >After several seconds of carefully watching, it’s a bunny moving about.
  1431. “Psh, do they really think they can fool me?”
  1432. >Despite it being fluffy and eating plants, you know it’s actually a robotic spy!
  1433. >You quickly write that down in your notes and even add a sketch as well.
  1434. >This newest enemy is likely the overlords way of keeping a closer eye on you.
  1435. >As if the squirrels weren’t enough.
  1436. >Just treat this spy like all the others; keeping an eye on it and being prepared to handle it at a moments notice.
  1437. >Don’t see much else in the yard, though you can hear some birds.
  1438. >Still need to find a cipher for them later, gonna have to search the deep web for that.
  1439. >Time to move to the front yard.
  1440. >You push the chair back and head off to the living room.
  1441. >Anon left the footstool by the window, making it easier for you to do check things out.
  1442. >As you are, something feels off, more so than usual.
  1443. >It’s not the robotic animals nor the lawn gnomes with hidden cameras either.
  1444. >Even with the aid of the streetlamps, you’re having a hard time seeing whatever it is.
  1445. >Just like the backyard…
  1446. >You end up pressing your face against the glass and squinting.
  1447. >The result is the same though.
  1448. “Grr… too dirty to see through clearly.”
  1449. >Need to know what’s going on out there, no matter what.
  1450. >Usually you’d ask Anon and wait till he took care of it.
  1451. >However, desperate times, call for desperate measures.
  1452. >Gonna have to attempt to clean this yourself.
  1453. >Hastily, you scurry back into the kitchen.
  1454. >Really glad the supplies are easily accessible since they’re under the sink.
  1455. >You put the supplies in a bucket and carry it in your mouth.
  1456. >It’s quite difficult to make the return back with the contents shifting about.
  1457. >But you manage thankfully.
  1458. “Alright, I can do this. Just remember to be very, very careful, so simple.”
  1459.  
  1460. >The memory of last time you did floats to the surface.
  1461. >Ended up scratching the glass with your tin hooves, rather easily too.
  1462. >Of course you informed Anon and as a result, he said you shouldn’t do it again.
  1463. >It’s not like you intended to do it.
  1464. >As carefully as can be, you go about cleaning just the section you need.
  1465. “...wax on…”
  1466. >Remember what Anon said before, “Take your time, don’t rush it.”
  1467. “...wax off…”
  1468. >A bit of elbow grease invested, you examine your work.
  1469. >Don’t see any scratches, so it looks like you managed.
  1470. >Bet when you show Anon later, he’ll be so surprised and even tell you that you did a great job.
  1471. >It’s gonna be so awesome!
  1472. >Hold it, remember the initial reason you did this in the first place.
  1473. >Nodding, you observe what caught your attention.
  1474. >Something is gently falling from the sky.
  1475. “Snowfall…”
  1476. >That can’t be, it’s late April!
  1477. >Plus you already know spring is here, so this shouldn’t be possible.
  1478. >Weather has been fair with no rain and little cloud cover too.
  1479. >What does this all mean then?!
  1480. >Keep calm and focus, can’t lose your head.
  1481. >Right!
  1482. >There is a perfectly rational explanation to this odd weather.
  1483. >And that explanation is of course another scheme of the overlords!
  1484. “How does this one work though?”
  1485. >Need to remember what you learned from the deep web; thinking like the overlords do.
  1486. “Another weather manipulation plot maybe?”
  1487. >No, they already have plenty of those ‘freak’ storms that come around.
  1488. “True.”
  1489. >Come on, put your skills to the test.
  1490. “Well… snow coats just about everything and melts slowly.”
  1491. >Rain covers things faster and doesn’t need to melt though.
  1492. >Also true, however, you remember that many people prefer snow to rain, so they’re willing to go outside in it.
  1493. >Then this likely means the overlords are using this snowfall as a vector!
  1494. >Probably realized less people are getting flu shots, so they did this to correct the mistake.
  1495. “It makes perfect sense!”
  1496.  
  1497. >The ignorant masses will become more and more obedient as a result of it.
  1498. >They’ll ignore the truth and eat up the lies.
  1499. >Like the time they said that putting fluoride in the water to help prevent tooth decay.
  1500. >In reality, it’s not fluoride at all, but rather a drug to make them more open to suggestion.
  1501. >Or like the truth that they wanted to reach the moon so they could paint it pink and-
  1502. >Stop getting distracted, you’ve gotta warn Anon!
  1503. >With a hop, skip, and a jump, you glide off the sill; onto the carpet, dashing off to the hallway.
  1504. >Skidding to a halt as you reach the bedroom door, you knock and wait.
  1505. >…
  1506. >What are you doing?
  1507. >Waiting for Anon to come and answer of course.
  1508. >Does this look like the time for being polite?
  1509. >Darn it, that’s true, this is an emergency after all.
  1510. >You open the door and rush over to the bed, climbing atop of it.
  1511. “Anon, you won’t – where is he?”
  1512. >In your haste, you didn’t notice him missing.
  1513. >The bed is unmade too, did they get him?
  1514. >Quick, you need to check everywhere in the room, he has to be here.
  1515. >A peek under the bed only uncovers stray dust bunnies.
  1516. >Got into the closet, and other than mismatched shoes (need to investigate later), he’s not there either.
  1517. >The feeling of an icy hand grips your heart.
  1518. “Oh no… he must’ve been captured while I was distracted!”
  1519. >Curse them, he’s was never supposed to get caught in the cross fire.
  1520. >This is your fault, you’re supposed to protect him, he’s your friend!
  1521. >Gotta do something, but what?!
  1522. >Just as your panic worsens, your ears perk up at the sound of a toilet flushing.
  1523. “Oh thank goodness, he’s safe!”
  1524. >Not the time for celebration, need to inform him of your discovery.
  1525. >You gallop to the bathroom and try the door.
  1526. >But of course it’s locked, so you knock rapidly.
  1527. “Anon, Anon, It’s snowing!”
  1528. >Not sure, but could’ve sworn there was some murmuring from within.
  1529. >However, he still doesn’t answer it.
  1530. >You knock again, louder this time.
  1531.  
  1532. “Anon come on, it’s snowing out!”
  1533. >Some shuffling comes from the other side, though the door doesn’t open up.
  1534. >A tired sounding Anon speaks up, “I heard you the first time, Tinny.”
  1535. “Good, was concerned for a moment there.”
  1536. >“The forecast said there was going to be some snow this morning, so it’s not much of a surprise.”
  1537. “It’s a plan of the overlords, Anon! They’re using it as a means to get you infected!”
  1538. >“Infecting me?”
  1539. “Yes that’s right! They realized that you didn’t get your ‘flu’ shot and using this a means to do so!”
  1540. >“...okay, and?”
  1541. “What do you mean ‘and?’ this is serious!”
  1542. >An audible sigh is heard from the other side.
  1543. >“Seriously doubt I’m going to get sick.”
  1544. “That’s a risk though, you should stay home and wait it out!”
  1545. >“Would you stop yelling?”
  1546. “S-Sorry, but I’m just trying to protect you.”
  1547. >“I appreciate that, really I do. However, I can’t just call off work today.”
  1548. “But-”
  1549. >“No buts. I swear I’ll be okay.”
  1550. >He’s not going to listen, despite the severity of the situation.
  1551. >There has to be something you can do to help protect him, but what?
  1552. “Hmm…”
  1553. >“Got anything else you want to tell me?”
  1554. “No, not yet.”
  1555. >“Well alright then, I’m gonna hop in the shower. We can talk afterwords, okay?”
  1556. “Mhm, yeah, sure.”
  1557. >Few minutes pass in thought and nothing.
  1558. >Out of all the times for you brain to come up with nothing, it had to be now?
  1559. >Doesn’t matter, there is only one thing left to do.
  1560. >To the deep web!
  1561. >You check the laptop in the bedroom and find it on.
  1562. “Now let’s see…”
  1563. >Fortunately it doesn’t take long to find what you’re seeking.
  1564. >Even better, the supplies to do so are around the house.
  1565. >You gather what you can and bring some notes along with you to the living room.
  1566. >Minutes pass as you make multiple mistakes, mostly because of your hooves.
  1567. >Not gonna give up though, so you double down.
  1568. >After what feels like hours pass, and you have something that looks manageable.
  1569.  
  1570. >While looking it over and comparing it to the notes, the sound of footfalls draws your attention.
  1571. >“Whatcha working on there, Tinny?”
  1572. “Just a sec, I’m almost done.”
  1573. >Nodding, he heads off to the kitchen while you focus back on your work.
  1574. >Several minutes of inspecting shows this is about as good as it’s gonna be for now.
  1575. >Will have to revise the design later.
  1576. >Taking it with you as you enter the kitchen, Anon is drinking coffee and reading the paper.
  1577. >You trot over and present your creation.
  1578. “It’s dangerous to go out there, take this!”
  1579. >He sets the paper down and picks up your work, looking over it curiously.
  1580. >“Huh, pretty cool. What is this exactly?”
  1581. “Can’t you tell?”
  1582. >Anon shakes his head slowly, “Not quite.”
  1583. “It’s a homemade face mask I whipped up to protect you.”
  1584. >He softly smiles, “Thank you, Tinny.”
  1585. “Y-You’re welcome, just remember to wear this outside along with your jacket and gloves. That should be enough from my estimation.”
  1586. >It almost looks like he’s about to say something, but just nods instead.
  1587. >“Yeah, sure will.”
  1588. “Good, I’ve got to inform the others about this newest scheme.”
  1589. >“Don’t forget to make copies of it as well.” He adds.
  1590. “Of course I will, going to make triplicates just be safe.”
  1591. >He gives you a thumbs up as you depart into the hallway.
  1592. >Deep down, you know he’s starting to get the hang of things.
  1593. >Just need to be patient with him, he’ll understand it all one day.

/emo/ Sorrowful Melody

by NHanon

/bootleg/ Concerned Pony shorts

by NHanon

/bootleg/ Tinny the tin foil conspiracy pony

by NHanon

/emo/ A trot in the night

by NHanon

/bootleg/ Punkfire Xmas

by NHanon