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3130 16.59 KB 250
/pj250/this paste was made with a poor understanding of the equestrian rail system and an even poorer understanding of trains
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1.
>"When is the next train to Manehatten?"
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"The timetable should be right inside next to the ticket service, but we'll be departing at 8:00 which is in... a quarter of an hour"
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3.
>"Thank you very much"
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>The mare turns around and goes back into Canterlot Central Station
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5.
>You are Steamer, engineer of the Friendship Express, and you are dead tired
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>Last night your conductor, All Aboard, had fallen ill a little over a quarter of the way from Vanhoover to Canterlot and you had to helm the train for the rest of it
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7.
> Not that it needed much attention aside from the occasional shoveling of coal into its maw and making sure everything goes smoothly
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>Anyway, you’ll be running the mixed train from Canterlot to Manehatten for another 10 hours so you sure hope All Aboard gets to feeling better, for his sake and yours
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>You look up at the large clock embedded in the wall of the station which reads 7:52
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"ALL ABOARD FOR MANEHATTEN, ALL ABOARD FOR MANEHATTEN!"
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>At this the ponies on the platform start to work their way over to you as you start to check their tickets
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>You suppress a yawn as they pass by, barely checking their tickets before handing them back
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>Once they've all boarded you check the clock again
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>7:59, time to get this show on the road, though, just to be safe
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"LAST CALL FOR MANEHATTEN, ALL ABOARD WHO’S COMING ABOARD!"
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>Just then you see a mare hoofing it out of the station building towards the train
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>She's a unicorn with a yellow coat and a lighter blue mane
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"Every time" you mutter under your breath
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>"Sorry, sorry, sorry, so sorry"
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>She says, as she comes to a halt in front of you
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"That's alright Ma'am, may I see your ticket?"
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>She starts to dig around in her saddlebag
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>"Ticket, ticket, ticket, ticket, where'd I put the darn thing"
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>You take a final look at the clock just as it ticks to 8:00
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"Ma'am do you have a ticket or not, I've got a tight schedule I gotta fit and this isn't making my job any easier"
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>You really don't, if All Aboard still isn't feeling well by the time you get to Manehatten you'll be taking an extended stay there
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>The Friendship Express isn't the only train in Equestria dammit
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>"Ah here it is, and I thought I'd never find it, here you are"
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>She hands you what is very clearly a sorry excuse for a counterfeit train ticket written out in pencil
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>You look back to her groggily and she just smiles
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"Welcome aboard Ma'am, make yourself comfortable"
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>"Why thank you very much Mr. Conductor" she says, overplaying the theatrics as you hand her the fake ticket back
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>With that you shut the doors and head to the front of the train
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>Giving a tug on the whistle you engage the throttle and the train groans to life
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>”PFFFFFFF CHHHHHHH, PFFFFF CHHHH, PFFF CHHH, PF CH PF CH PF CH”
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>It has been around an hour or so since departing Canterlot and everything is going as it should so you decide to check up on All Aboard
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>You make your way over to your shared cabin and knock once, twice, thrice
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>No response comes from the cabin so you let yourself in
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>It's a spacious cabin for what it's worth
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>Two berths, a closet, a restroom with a shower, and a window with its curtains currently drawn >It's nothing compared to the Crystal Empire Express though
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>You've heard that some of their premium suites look like the an actual bedroom with a full sized bed to boot
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>Though that's not here or there and you remember what you’re doing here in the first place >You look over to the berth on the left side and see All Aboard
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>He looks like he's in a pretty deep sleep, sounds like it too considering all the snoring he's doing
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>When he told you yesterday that he just needed to sleep it off you believed him and left him to it >He's coming up on 9 and a half hours which itself isn't bad
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>Though, considering he was only awake for a couple of hours before going back to sleep is the real concern
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>Nothing much you can do about it though so you head back into the hallway
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>As you start to move back up the car you look out the window at the rolling grasslands
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>The mountains of Neighagra Falls should be visible within the next hour or so
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>That’s what you’ve always loved about being a conductor
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>Traveling Equestria, seeing the sights as they go by
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>You’d think it’d get old sooner or later and in some respects it has, but you can’t help but remember when you were a colt and riding on this very train for the first time
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>You were so glued to the window you hadn’t even noticed the train had stopped
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>If your parents hadn’t noticed you didn’t follow them off the train you would’ve rode it until it stopped
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>You make your way out of the sleeper car and into the crisp Autumn air
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>In front of you is the tender which should carry you halfway to Manehatten before needing to be restocked
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>You take your time going around it to get that last feeling of the wind rushing by and get back into the engine
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>Ever since they installed the tender the engine compartment has become a lot more spacious considering they didn’t have to store all the extra coal and water in here anymore
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>You take a look out the window towards the front of the train
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>From the numerous trips you’ve taken across these rails you know there’s a switch coming up that the train can’t take at anywhere near full speed
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>You reference the map and determine you’re an hour from it so you do as you always do and wait
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>You’ve slowed down enough to make it around the joint turn switch
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>Was it just you or did this turn seem sharper than before
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>You’re probably just mistaking this for another switch on another route
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>You don’t usually get confused like this, must be the lack of sleep again
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>You open a window to take a peek outside at the rest of the train making the slow turn
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>Nothing looks out of the ordinary and it seems to be going well
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>You start to retreat your head back in when something catches your eye
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>You see somepony’s tail disappear behind the cars moving
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>It’s not too uncommon that you’d get a pony or two trying to catch a free ride by jumping on at one of these slower areas
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>You’ll go back and check the passenger’s tickets before you get back up to speed
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>You should also go check back on All Aboard, maybe he’s feeling better by now
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>Dawning your engineer’s cap you start towards the sleeper cabin again
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>Not bothering to knock this time you slide open the door and, to your surprise, see All Aboard sitting up in his berth and reading a book
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”Morning All, sleep well”
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>you say almost sarcastically
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>”Yes, I think so at least”
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”You feelin’ well enough to take the reins outta my hooves? I haven’t got but a lick of sleep in the past 24 hours”
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>” ’Course, it seems enough of my strength has returned to me”
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”Thanks, ah and while you’re at it can you head to the back and check the passenger’s tickets? I feel like I saw somepony jumping on back at the turnout”
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>”Sure, and what should I do if they don’t have one”
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”Just tell them they can ride to Manehatten but will have to pay fare and be fined once we get to the station”
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>”Alright then, enjoy your rest Steamer”
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”Yep”
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>and with that you proceed to climb into the berth and fall asleep
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>You are All Aboard, conductor for the Friendship Express, and you are still feeling sick
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>You would’ve loved to stay in bed for a while longer but Steamer was looking worse for wear
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>Nonetheless you should head into the passenger cars to find out if somepony had jumped on
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>You step through to the first passenger car
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>It’s sparsely populated with many of the occupants reading magazines or just looking out the windows at the landscape
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>You clear your throat which brings some attention up to you
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”Can I have everyone get their tickets out, just doing a routine check”
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>The passengers start to get their tickets out as you go by and check them
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>No discrepancies here
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>You go into the second car
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>More of the same as everything seems to be in order
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>You mosey on over to the third car, repeat the same spiel, and check the tickets
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>All of them are good until you get to a yellow unicorn mare with cerulean mane
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>She gives you her “ticket” with a wink
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”Is this supposed to be a joke Ma’am?”
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>She’s handed you a piece of cardstock with the words “Friendship Express: Admit 1” written on it
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>”No, I just, uh…”
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”Listen, you can stay on the train until we get to Manehatten, but once we get there you’ll have to pay regular fare on top of being fined for riding without a valid ticket”
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>”No really, the other conductor let me on, just go get him and he’ll tell you”
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>There’s not a second conductor on the Friendship Express though she may be talking about Steamer
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>She must have seen him before hopping on the train
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”I’m sure he did, but right now he’s sleeping and will probably be for a while”
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>You look down and check your pocket watch
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>It reads 11:02
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>Wow, it hadn’t dawned on you just how long you’d slept
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”So please just don’t cause a ruckus here or I may not be so inclined as to let you ride all the way to Manehatten”
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>You leave before she can get another word in
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>That conversation had drained you a bit more than you expected considering how short it was
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>You’d known Steamer for a while and you don’t think he’d just let somepony on without a ticket
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>No point in giving it much of a second thought so you go back to the front of the train
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>It’s still going quite slow from the turn though you’ve cleared it by now and open the throttle to full
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>You have a general idea of where you are, having passed the switch not too long ago, but you consult the map anyways
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>You should be at the water stop a little after Noon according to your calculations so you give her a bit more coal and settle in
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>You are still All Aboard, and this is not good
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>You’ve checked the map again and again but now you’re sure of it
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>Foal Mountain is way to close for you to be on the correct line heading to Manehatten
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>Steamer must’ve gotten mixed up at the switch
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>The line you’re on now takes you straight to Hollow Shades
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>You should have noticed the mountain getting closer, but you had been reading a book
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>Only occasionally looking up to have a glance at where you were going
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>You must have been going in the wrong direction for over an hour now
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>You’d already cranked the throttle back half when you started to doubt yourself, but now you’re at full stop
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>Once you’ve completely slowed you’ll throw it in reverse and explain the situation to the passengers who won’t be too pleased to hear their arrival has been delayed for 2 hours
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>On top of that the conversation Steamer and yourself will be having with your superiors won’t be too pleasant either
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>You’re considering waking up Steamer and telling him about the situation when you hear a voice behind you
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>”Why is the train stopping?”
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>It sounds feminine though you can’t place your hoof on the accent
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”You’re not allowed to be…”
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>you say as you start to turn around
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”Up here…”
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>and you come snout to snout with a bat pony
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”AHH A BAT!”
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>you jump backwards
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>The bat pony mare continues towards you
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>”What was I supposed to say next”
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>You barely hear this over the noise of the train and the half whisper she spoke it at
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>”Oh right, um, this is a robbery, put your hooves in the air”
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>She almost seems unsure of herself
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>It may have been cute under normal circumstances
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”What? A robbery? But we’re not hawling anything impor…”
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>What was in the freight cars
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>You’d been asleep while you were at Canterlot so you have no idea what she could be wanting
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”...tant”
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>The bat pony walks past you and pushes the throttle back to full
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>You’re getting a bit old but you’re still a fully grown and healthy stallion
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>You could easily take this bat pony in a fight
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>”Well the others seem to think it’s important”
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>And there goes that plan out the window
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>”So yeah, just take us to Hollow Shades, we’ll take what we need, and then you’ll be on your way”
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>You genuinely don’t know what to do in this situation
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>They didn’t exactly prepare during the training
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>The little they did tell you was to just follow what they wanted
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>So guess you’ll be doing that
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”A-alright then”
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>You steady yourself, getting over the shock of seeing a bat pony out in the day
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>Or a bat pony at all for that matter
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>Wait why was a bat pony out during the day
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>You’d heard of instances of bat ponies coming out during the day, though you’d always thought that the sun was almost harmful to them
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>As evidenced by this one that doesn’t seem to be the case
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>”How long until we reach Hollow Shades?”
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”It’ll be an hour and a half”
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>You answer bluntly, trying to keep a poker face
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>You wish Steamer were here right now
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>He’d probably know what to do a bit better than you
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>It’d also be better if they tried to pull anything on you
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>It’ll be a long shot, but maybe she’ll let you get him
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”You know…”
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>You say as enticingly as possible
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”If we were to get the engineer we could speed up getting to Hollow Shades”
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>A blatant lie to you, but you’re banking on the bat pony not knowing too much about trains
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>”And how would that make us go any faster?”
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>Wellllll, you hadn’t gotten that far
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”He knows how to operate this thing better than me so I’m sure he’d know something”
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>You look back at the bat pony and she seems to be considering your words
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>It’s worth a shot
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>”If it’ll speed us up then that should be fine”
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>That worked out rather smoothly
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>”Though I’ll be the one waking him up, you just.. tell him what’s going on”
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>Better than nothing
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”Ok”
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>You are Steamer, and you are dreaming about what else but trains, when you hear a loud noise that jolts you awake
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>”KeeeEekKkKeEEkKeEkKeeEEekKeeeeekKeeeE”
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”AH wh-what”
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>You turn your head to the source of the noise and you see a bat pony
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>Oh a bat pony… OH
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”WHY IS THERE A BAT IN HERE”
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>The bat pony steps a bit away and you see All Aboard
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>You try and croak something out but nothing does
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>All Aboard speaks up
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>”Yeah, it seems like we’re being robbed”
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>Of course you are
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”And what are they robbing us of”
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>”That’s the thing, I don’t know, she hasn’t said anything about it besides ‘the others think it’s important’”
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”There are others?”
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>”Apparently”
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>Good grief
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”So what am I supposed to do, why’d you wake me up”
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>”Because you can make the train go faster of course”
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>As he says this he looks over to the bat pony and then to you expectantly
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”Ah, right, of course I can make us go faster”
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>The bat pony speaks again
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>“Great, now come up to the front and do that”
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>With that the bat pony ushers you both out of the room
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”... and now we just shovel some more coal into the firebox here and we should get there quicker”
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>This won’t really make the train go any faster
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>It’ll just heat up the water more and cause more steam to build up
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>You’re already on full steam ahead so all this will do is make you go full throttle longer
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>”See, I told you he’d know what to do”
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>All Aboard says, turning towards the bat pony
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>She seems pleased
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>All Aboard then walks over to you
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>”What do we have that they’d want anyway”
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”I haven’t the slightest, when I got to Canterlot I gave them the cargo from Vanhoover and coupled with the shipment going to Manehatten”
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>”You didn’t even bother to ask what’d be in it”
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”Why would I? It’s not like I’m personally invested in what we're hawling on any given day
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>”Fair point, what should we do now?”
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”Just wait this out I guess, nothing much really to do”
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>”Maybe I should go tell the passengers that we’re going to be delayed for a while
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”That’d be a good idea, not that it’ll change much considering our situation but still”
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>He turns around before being stopped by the bat pony
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>Oh, right, guess not then
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>You finally make it to Hollow Shades
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>Once you’re at the Station it seems like more co-conspirators arrive
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>That or just interested citizens
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>The bat pony tells you to go release the back two freight cars
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>Looks like you’ll finally get to the bottom of this mystery
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>You uncouple the back two cars from the rest of the train
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>On the side of the car it reads “LOS PEGASUS”
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>This just keeps getting more and more confusing
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>The bat pony mare and a bat pony stallion with a crowbar fly to the top of the car
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>You hear as he pries away one of the boards
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>”KEeEeEkKkKEEekKEEkKEEEkKeEkKEEEek!”
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>The mare shouts
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>”KEeEeEkKeeeeeeEkKEeEEekKeEEeEkKEeEEEkKeEeEEkKEEEeEk!”
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>The rest of the crowd responds
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>And resting there, in the frog of her hoof is……………
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>A mango
by Tony_D_III
by Tony_D_III
by Tony_D_III
by Tony_D_III