Arguments


                                            >Be tall, green, and bald as all fuck.

                                            >Kinda sounds like that Anon dude...

                                            >Oh wait, thats totally who you are!

                                            >Just as well, be hanging out with Rainbow Dash at the moment.

                                            >The both of you casually walk down the road in Ponyville away from Twilight's castle, With Dash flying at just about shoulder height next to you.

                                            >The socially awkward purple pony Princess of Friendship wanted to give a presentation on new technologies through science and needed an audience.

                                            >She thought Rainbow Dash would be the perfect candidate because well, she doesn't really care about that kind of stuff and Twilight thought it would make a good challenge to keep her attention.

                                            >Supposedly she needed practice for an actual presentation she wanted to give Celestia in Canterlot. Or whatever.

                                            >Wasn't really paying much attention.

                                            >Still, Dash invited you to make it less boring.

                                            >It didn't.

                                            >At least she still wanted to hang out for the rest of the day. So thats cool.

                                            >"Ugh, if I ever have to sit through something so boring again," she drags her hoof down her face, "I'd have to bring earplugs and a pillow."

                                            "Yeah I hear yah," you nod in agreement, "I'm all about progress but having to hear about how its made down to the science of it," you shake your head, "not really a good time."

                                            >"Aaand how."

                                            "It does kinda make me think though..." You scratch your chin, "I wonder why in a world of magic and dragons and what-not, why hasn't anyone invented something amazing or practical, like a flying carriage."

                                            >Rainbow perks up at your statement, "We have those! You just need a strong Pegasus pony like me," she poses in a power stance, still hovering above, "to pull it!"


                                            "Okay so," you raise a brow, "what about one that -doesn't- need a Pegasus huh? Like, no magic or anything like that."

                                            >"Uhhhh..."

                                            "Exactly. Imagine how easy life would be if that existed, especially for earth ponies."

                                            >You come into the market area of town, seeing all the flightless carts strewn about with various ponies shopping for whatever the day requires.

                                            "See what I'm talking about?"

                                            >"Whaddya mean?" Dash says, giving you an odd look, "Are you still on about the flying carriage thing?"

                                            "Well yeah!"

                                            >"You have a one track mind you know that?"

                                            "Hey..." you say with a grin, "What would you be willing to give for a flying carriage?"

                                            >"What would I give?"

                                            "I dunno uhhh, say some Saddle Arabian scientist comes up to you one day and she goes; 'I have invented the flying carriage, I'll give it to -you- on one condition...'".

                                            >"Hmmm..." She taps her chin with her hoof, contemplating the scenario, "well whats the condition?"

                                            "Shes not gonna tell ya."

                                            >"Well then no deal!" She waves her hoof, "Why would I need a flying carriage anyway?"

                                            >She points to her wings and gives a smug grin.

                                            >"Besides, theirs probably a catch if she doesn't wanna tell me."

                                            "Well who cares about the catch were talking about the flying carriage here Dash! You'll have the only one in the world."

                                            >Dash rolls her eyes, "Why is this Saddle Arabian scientist offering it to me and not like," she twirls her hoof in the air, "some carriage making company or something?"

                                            "What is this twenty questions?" You shrug, "Who cares about the mystery, just take the carriage."

                                            >"/Twenty/ questions? You only asked me the one..."

                                            "Don't worry about it, back to the question!"


                                            >"Not if I don't know what the catch is!"

                                            "Fiiine..." You huff and cross your arms, "The catch is you gotta cut off a hoof, like from the bottom joint down."

                                            >"Nope, no way."

                                            "Well why not? You can fly," you point at her wings, "losing a hoof won't kill ya."

                                            >She scoffs and rolls her eyes again.

                                            "Besides you can take the designs for it and sell it to a bunch of carriage companies and become a multi-millionaire! After that you could buy like a hundred prosthetic hooves."

                                            >"This is dumb, Anon!" she glares hard at you, "I'm not giving up one of my hooves just for some stupid invention!"

                                            "Well listen to you," you say with disappointment, "How selfish. Not willing to give up a body part you don't even need so the world can have the flying carriage." You shake your head at her, "I thought more of you.."

                                            >"Ugh, fine!" She said in an annoyed tone, "I'll give up a hoof for the world."

                                            "Your sure?"

                                            >"I'm sure."

                                            "Your not gonna chicken out?"

                                            >"No, I won't!"

                                            "Because the /whole world/ is counting on you." You point at her.

                                            >"Wait, why is the world counting on me?" She says getting flustered.

                                            >Your argument continues on, you exit the market and proceed into the park.

                                            "Because, Dash, the Saddle Arabian scientist gave a press conference about the flying carriage including about how shes gonna give it to you and how you can do whatever you want with it including; mass market and an affordable model for the world to purchase."

                                            >"What the hay kind of scientist is this??"

                                            "One with a lot of free time on her hooves,"  You nod, "and a hoof fetish. So! Are you in or out?"

                                            >She sighs and covers her face with her hoof. "Yes."

                                            "Its a deal."

                                            >"Yeees." She says closing her eyes.

                                            "Okay so now, you find out shes gonna take off your hoof with a hacksaw."


                                            >"What??"

                                            "And no painkillers"

                                            >"No way! Why didn't you mention that before??"

                                            "Well you should've payed a lawyer to read over the contract before agreeing now shouldn't you have? And afterwords" you put your hand up to stop her protest, "she uses a pain-numbing injection to instantly stop the pain and heal the wound."

                                            >"Well why can't I get that before she cuts it off?"

                                            "Because. -She- is a sick degenerate who enjoys inflicting pain."

                                            >"You said she was a pony of science!"

                                            "Irrelevant, but come on its a few minutes of pain for a lifetime of riches!"

                                            >She grunts, getting pretty annoyed at this point, "Fiiiiine. As long as I get the painkiller as soon as she takes my hoof."

                                            "So you want the painkiller?"

                                            >"Well -yeah-."

                                            >You cringe a little.

                                            "Okay..."

                                            >"Why'd you say it like that?"

                                            "Ehh its just the shot she gives you knocks you out and when your out she..." you wiggle your hand, "diddles you."

                                            >"Oh c'mon!" She rolls her whole head.

                                            "Hey, you made the deal."

                                            >"I was supposed to give my hoof, not get knocked out and molested by a Saddle Arabian scientist-"

                                            "And her friends."

                                            >"WHAT??"

                                            "And also when shes done her friends get a shot at you too."

                                            >"Deals off!"

                                            "What are ya some kind of homophobe?"

                                            >Your argument garners the attention of ponies passing by, giving you looks of bewilderment.

                                            >"Noo, I just don't wanna get diddled by some Saddle Arabian scientist and her friends after getting my hoof cut off!"

                                            >She grunts and crosses her forehooves in pure adorable annoyance.


                                            "Ya see? Thats whats wrong."

                                            >She looks at you with an eyebrow raised and her mouth agasp.

                                            "Ponies unable to leave their own comfort zone for the sake of the world, giving slow and unmeaningful progress to the races of Equestria." You spread your arms in a big circle, "Not only that, but demeaning the pegasi as a proud, brave race of adventurers, warriors, and just overall badasses. But if you wanna keep the flying carriage from the world..."

                                            >"ALLRIIGHT!" she yells, her voice echoing throughout for all to hear, "I'll do it! Jeez! I'll get my hoof cut off, and then diddled by a bunch of other mares for the 'flying carriage'!!" She says with an exaggerated look of amazement.

                                            >There is a moment of silence between you as other ponies continue to walk by.

                                            "You'd let some Saddle Arabian scientist and her friends have their way with you for a carriage?" You say condescendingly.

                                            >She faces you, glaring the sharpest metaphorical daggers you've ever seen.

                                            >You shake your head.

                                            "Thought I knew you, Dash."