Dash's new nest


                                            *Ring* *Ring* *Ring*

                                            "Myughh... fuck off alarm clock."

                                            >You awaken in a groggy daze.

                                            >The morning sunlight entered uninvited into your room through the window, signaling that its time to wake up and get ready to take on the day.

                                            "Snooze damn you..."

                                            >You turn to your left and grab the small analog clock off the counter next to your bed.

                                            "How do I... fuck'n thing..."

                                            >You shuffle the clock around in your hands, at last finding the little button at the top to stop the insufferable clanking of the little bells.

                                            >After a few short moments, you finally manage to turn it off.

                                            "Fuck it. I'm awake."

                                            >Rolling out of bed, you stretch, scratch some key areas and make for the bathroom.

                                            "Gotta pee gotta pee..."

                                            >When in doubt, whip it out.

                                            "Ahhh..."

                                            >The first half of your morning ritual is already complete.

                                            >Time for a hot shower.

                                            "Little cold, mostly hot."

                                            >Turning on the shower head, you let the water warm up before stepping in.

                                            >You strip down and fling your boxers into the corner near the door, adding to the pile of dirty clothes sitting and waiting to be attended too.

                                            >You step in the shower, getting blasted by streams of steamy water.

                                            "AH!"

                                            >The initial feel of the hot water always stings just a wee bit.

                                            "Ahhh...that. Is. Better."

                                            >Never takes more then a moment to turn into a soothing feeling...

                                            "Whadda I gotta do today, whadda I gotta do..." You ponder out loud, still waking up. "Fuck'n, gotta talk to Mayor Mare, go see Rarity about my order then- WHAH!"

                                            >You slip backwards, latching onto the ledge of the small window on the wall next to the shower.

                                            >Your foot swings upward and bangs into the nozzle.

                                            "Owe, Fuck! God!"

                                            >A big ass rumble made you slip, felt like something hit your house...

                                            "The hell was tha-" you stop and stare in awe out the window, "Oh my god..."

                                            >A massive eye peered in, staring directly at you.

                                            >"Hi Anon!"

                                            >Oh god its Sauron!

                                            "Wh-what the actual fuck!?"

                                            >You stammer back, tripping over the tub in the process and ripping down the shower curtain.

                                            >"Hey, no language like that anymore remember? Twilight said so!" The eye says, "I'll tell her y'know!"

                                            >Wait a tick... that voice is familiar.

                                            "Hold on... who are you?"

                                            >You sit up, the shower curtain partially covering your nakedness.

                                            >Uhhh, duh. Its me, Rainbow Dash, your friend..." She looks down at your exposed waist, "Hehe, good morning to you too."

                                            >What?

                                            >Oh hell! Morning wood go away!

                                            "Ahh! F-fuck!"

                                            >You quickly cover yourself with the shower curtain, rising to your feet and wrapping it around your waist.

                                            >You can hear Rainbow's giggling outside, her size making her voice a damn stereo.

                                            >You say nothing else, only retreating from the bathroom back into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you.

                                            "What the fuck?!"

                                            >You feel the house rumble, she must be moving around up there.

                                            >Better not break anything. Took forever to save enough bits to get your own place!

                                            >You rush over to the window, looking upward to see if you can spot her.

                                            "Did...did she leave?" You say to yourself, hoping she was gone.

                                            >"Nope!"

                                            >Her eye returns.

                                            "Nyahh holy crap!" You fall backwards.

                                            >"I'm still here!" She says cheerfully, "Anon, why are you using a shower curtain as a towel?"

                                            "Why the hell are you giant?!" You shout back, "-HOW- the hell are you giant!?"

                                            >"How are you not outside yet?" She asks, "The sun came up like an hour ago!"

                                            "GET OFF MY HOUSE DAMMIT!"

                                            >"Ugh, Fine." Her eye rolls.

                                            >The house rumbles again with the sound of giant hooves climbing off the roof, trailing off as they stomp their way to the ground.

                                            >Little pieces of roof and hay fall to the floor surrounding you as she does so.

                                            >Looking up, you can see not one, not two, but a fuck-load of little rays of sunlight piercing through what was once your ceiling.

                                            >You quickly get to your feet and open up the window, seeing a giant blue Pegasus sitting just to the side of your outside wall.

                                            >"Hurry up and get ready would ya? We gotta have fun today!" She stomps her hoof into the ground when she said that, making the ground quake.

                                            "Whoa, shit!" You catch yourself on the ledge of the window, "You fucking got house all over my damn floor!" You turn and point back into your room.

                                            >"Uhhh..." She turns her head, looking into your room. "Heh, sorry. Don't worry though," She waves her hoof, "I'm making your roof my new nest. Its really comfy."

                                            >Like FUCK she is!

                                            "Like FUCK you are!"

                                            >"Relax dude, I can get us free roof maintenance if you want?"

                                            "Thats not gonna help when you just break it again every day when your sitting up there!" You cross your arms, "No deal!"

                                            >"Oh yeah?" she crosses her forehooves, "What are you gonna do about it, tiny?"

                                            >She pokes you with her hoof, knocking you down.

                                            "Ah, Dammit!" You quickly get back up, angrier now, "I'll take a sharp tree branch or something and poke your ass all fucking night and keep you awake if I have too!"

                                            >She rolls her eyes again, "Anon, would you just chill out? You'll love having me as a roommate!"

                                            "Maybe if you weren't like fifty feet tall I would!"

                                            >"Pffft, whatever." She stands up, blocking the sun, "I'm gonna go do some laps around town. See ya later roomy!"

                                            >She crouches and leaps into the air, making the earth shake and blowing you off your feet and onto your ass again.

                                            "God dammit..."

                                            >Yup. Fuck this noise. Time to start saving up again.