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Pole

By FF
Created: 2021-04-16 16:02:19
Expiry: Never
anonstarlight glimmersafecomedy/glim/

  1. Post number/s: 31200658; 31200659; 31200662; 31200665;
  2. Related image/s: 31189211;
  3. Original author: Blasted Cannon !1pgBOLBb.g
  4.  
  5. “no... I want the pink and blue roller kite… not the orange sode kite…”
  6. “What do you mean they’re equal? I’ve heard enough of this equality bullshit... roller kites trot all over sodes…. sodes are too rectangular and artsy…”
  7. >BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP SCREEEECH RUUURRRUMP
  8. >BLIPBLIPBLIPBLIPBLIPBLIPBLIPBLIP
  9. “AARRGH”
  10. >You kick your blanket off of you with your hind legs, almost falling out of your bed in the process
  11. >Luckily its a queen sized bed. But you’re alone tonight.
  12. “Hmpf”
  13. >You cover your face with your pillow with your fore legs
  14. >Cursed alarm clock, what did you ever do?
  15. >To it, specifically. You’ve done a lot of shit in your life to deserve this
  16. >Less than 30 seconds later you throw the pillow off your face and sit up
  17. >Today’s the day
  18. >You’ve had it marked on your calendar for months
  19. >You’ve been counting down the days yet you still somehow forgot
  20. >You hop out of bed and trot over to the window
  21. >Still dark, but you’re not sure for how long
  22. >You have a long, emotional day ahead of you so that’s ok
  23. >Today, they come
  24. >You nibble on your right hoof just thinking about it
  25. >They didn’t come already right???
  26. >You rush out of your bedroom
  27. >You’ve been staying in Princess Twilight’s castle for well over two years now and you still get lost often
  28. >You pass by the kitchen
  29. >You look down to your tummy
  30. >”Grugurgrpgurrghghghg”
  31. >You could definitely go for a bowl of oats
  32. >Alas, time is ticking Starlight!
  33. >”But time was never a problem for you Starlight!” tells your brain
  34. “Shut Up brain! You torment me about that stuff enough!”
  35. >Ohshit you said that outloud
  36. >Quiet loudly too
  37. >The only other residents of the castle are Princess Twilight, of course, and her pet-er… assistant Spike. Yeah, her loyal assistant Spike the dragon!
  38. >As well as your partner Anon
  39. >He’s a biped, almost like a hairless ape. It's quite exotic
  40. >But that’s not all, his personality compliments you greatly, and he really cares about you, as you do in return
  41. >But he’s away on a guy’s weekend in Fillydelphia with Big Mac and Twilight’s brother Shining Armor
  42. >Quite a weird pairing of characters desu
  43. >Regardless, if either of them heard you talking to yourself at 4AM they’d think you’re crazy!
  44. >”You ARE crazy Starlight! You are INSANE! Embrace it!”
  45. “ssSHU---”
  46. >You manage to stop yourself this time
  47. >Nope, not falling for it again brain
  48.  
  49. >Ignoring your hunger, you trot past the kitchen and into the basement
  50. >Well, it's technically a dungeon of the sorts, but it dubs as a basement
  51. >Why would the princess of friendship have prisoners?
  52. >You trot down the creaky wood steps into the basement
  53. >Why are these steps creaky and made of wood anyway? This place just kinda spewed out of the earth brand new
  54. >And the rest of this place is made out of crystal. What gives?
  55. ~
  56. >There it is, straight ahead of you
  57. >You utilized one of the prison cages to keep it safe from any potential thieves
  58. >It’s just a bluff though, the lock isn’t locked
  59. >You pull the lock apart with your magic and head in
  60. >It’s covered in a red blanket so it’s nice and warm
  61. >It must get cold down here, and you want it to be comfortable
  62. >You pull off the blanket with your mouth
  63. >There it is
  64. >You take a good look at it. You don’t have many left
  65. >It’s your prized possession, a round, magenta pole
  66. >You don’t really like calling it your possession though, you saw each other as equals
  67. >You run your hoof up and down it
  68. >A mile wide smile grows across your face
  69. >Pole was not for sexual, don’t worry
  70. >Only Anon was
  71. >Today, they take your pole
  72. >Today, they take the most important thing in your life
  73. >Sorry, Anon
  74. >Twilight said she had enough of the pole’s shit
  75. >You think she’s just jealous, she wishes anypony loved her the way you love Mr. Pole
  76. >But Twilight’s the Princess, and what the princess says goes
  77. >You ought to be a princess by now too
  78. >You’ve saved Equestria a hoof full of times, and are close with Celestia and Luna
  79. >You try to spread your wings, but alas, you have none
  80. “Hmmpf”
  81. >You let air out of your snout
  82. >Anon’s completely against the idea for some reason too
  83. >In fact, he gets really angry whenever the idea is brought up
  84. >”REEEEE WINGS” is among one of his common phrases
  85. >What a kind stallionfriend am I right?
  86. >Anon likes Pole though
  87. >He says it reminds him of a community he used to partake in back where he came from
  88. >You used to be a part of a community too
  89. >In fact, you led it
  90. “STO-”
  91. >You really need to get these thoughts out of your head
  92. >You wrap your front hooves around the pole in a hug
  93. >You close your eyes in remembrance
  94. >All the good times you had with your pole here
  95. >You try to hold back tears
  96. >You’re a strong mare Starlight, don’t do it
  97. >...
  98. >Nope, you’re weak and deep down you know it
  99. >You start bawling
  100. >Twilight’s a bitch
  101. >What a princess of friendship she is, taking away your best friend
  102. “Sniff-sniff-snnn”
  103. >Great now your snoot is running
  104. >You’re a fucking mess
  105. >You give your snoot a boop to try and stop it
  106. >It doesn’t do much
  107. >All the memories start rushing back
  108. >You tighten your grip and let the tears flow
  109. >.........
  110. >You see a blinding light through your eyelids, as if Celestia herself is raising the sun directly in front of you
  111. >”...Starlight???”
  112. >ohfuck you recongize that voice
  113. >Instinctively you poof away with your horn
  114. >”Starlight… it's a pole, I can see you behind it”
  115. >Foiled again!
  116. >With no respect for yourself, you jump in front of the princess’s hooves and beg like a peasant
  117. “Twilight… please! You don’t know what it’s like to have a friend like Mr. Pole! You can’t just take him away because you never felt this feeling!”
  118. >Twilight grabs your chin with her hoof and pulls it up so you are looking directly into her eyes
  119. >”First of all, you look pathetic Starlight. Have you looked at yourself? Your eyes are bloodshot. Your eyelashes are crusty. Your coat is covered in tears”
  120. >Your only response is to blink a couple times
  121. >”Second of all, you’re going to tell me, Princess Twilight Sparkle of Friendship, that I don’t know what it’s like to have a friend?!”
  122. >”This is exactly what’s going to happen. The trash ponies are upstairs. After this conversation I’m going to call them down. They are going to take your dumb pole, and life will go on. You hear me?”
  123. >You’re not going down this easy
  124. “I’LL CHAIN MYSELF TO IT TWILIGHT! IF YOU TAKE MY POLE TO THE DUMP, YOU TAKE ME TO!”
  125. >”No objections. One less mouth to feed.”
  126. >This is it!
  127. >You run back over to your pole
  128. “I’m going to miss you pole. I’m sure Anon will to. You were good, real good, maybe even the best”
  129. >You could almost hear Twilight role her eyes
  130. >”Come on down boys!”
  131. >You once again tighten your grip around the pole
  132. >“It’s time to go now Starlight”
  133. “Just another minute”
  134. >You expected your request to be honored. Instead, you got tossed across the room in the form of levitation
  135. “TWILIGHT STOP”
  136. >She’s restraining you
  137. >You can’t move
  138. >You can only sit there and watch as your pole is unlatched from the ground and carried out the room
  139. >You’re squirming and crying
  140. >”You are CRAZY Starlight! You are INSANE! Embrace it!”
  141. >”You are INSANE Starlight!”
  142. >”YOU’VE WASTED THE LAST TWO YEARS HERE”
  143. >”YOU’RE INSANE! YOU’RE CRAZY! IT’S WHO YOU ARE!”
  144. >”YOU’RE INSANE!”
  145. >”YOU’RE CRAZY!”
  146. >“YOU’RE A PSYCHOPATH”
  147. >”YOU’RE INSANE!”
  148. >”YOU’RE CRAZY!”
  149. >“YOU’RE A PSYCHOPATH”
  150. >”YOU’RE INSANE!”
  151. >”YOU’RE CRAZY!”
  152. >“YOU’RE A PSYCHOPATH”
  153. >”YOU’RE INSANE!”
  154. >”YOU’RE CRAZY!”
  155. >“YOU’RE A PSYCHOPATH”
  156. “I’m insane”
  157. “I’m crazy”
  158. “I’m a psychopath”
  159. “I’M INSANE!”
  160. “I’M CRAZY!”
  161. “I’M A PSYCHOPATH!”
  162. “I EMBRACE IT!”
  163.  
  164. (Archiver's note: Another 404 in the pastebin.)

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