GREEN
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1891 10.38 KB 143
1891 10.38 KB 143
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>Whoa, mamma, you’re head won’t stop running a marathon.
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>What were you doin’ again?
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“Ah right, I was a one man sousaphone mariachi band trying to impress that pretty award winning martial arts lady.”
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>Looks like you’re in some kind of dark deep cold dungeon.
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>Like ones a nerd gathering would go to play their little board games.
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“Or, maybe that sexy momma is into the tough stuff and is getting ready. Kinky.”
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>Knock on the door to let her know you’re ready for some action.
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“Heyo, ol’ Anon Bravo is ready for some attention!”
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>A blinding light radiates through the room as she enters.
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>If only you still had that sousaphone, as that sweet voice starts.
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>”So you’re awake then? Very well, we can...why are you posing?”
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“Oh don’t worry about that lady, I was just getting into the mood.”
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>Casually, zip to the door frame and let yourself hang.
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“But, before we continue I would like a safe word...wor...oh.”
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>Looks like you’re talking to a miniature Mrs. Ed. after she ate too many crayons.
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>A younger you would have turned her down and be on your way.
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>However, recent experiences have made you more open to other options.
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>The second tiny horse behind this one is glaring at the other one.
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>”That is clearly a colt, Apprentice Dusk.” That golden locs lass seems a little stressed, the poor blue thing frowns so much, “I apologize for the fright sir. In fact, you shouldn't even be down here."
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“Not a problem little miss, I must have taken the wrong turn at Albuquerque. By the way, what’s with the hat?” You grab what you thought was a hat, but find out quickly the horn is attached to her head. “Whoops, my bad.”
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>Apprentice Dusk’s jaw drops as you carefully put the little horse back down.
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>”Inquisitor Hex! Put her down.”
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“I just did. Do you want me to take out a brush and clean her mane too?”
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>A hoof stomp echoes in the little room.
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>”Enough! Apprentice Dusk, go get Warden Spark. Now!”
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>The clippity cloppity hooves of Dusk gallop down the hall until you can hear her no more.
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>Hex is breathing hard; the fire in her eyes is not a good sign, time to smooth things over.
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“My apologies, little lady. Unicorns are pretty rare from where I groove. Here, sit down in this nice chair.”
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>”That chair is for you.”
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“Nonsense, I insist.”
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>”Would you sit down.”
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“Not after you.”
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>The chair explodes out of existence, rude.
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>”Fine, no chair. Nopony sits.
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“I got this chair for you.”
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>Hex’s eyes narrow.
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>”Where did you get that chair?”
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“Garage sell. Come on, nice and soft. Sit.”
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>Finally, your charm comes shining through as she nods.
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>Her horn picks up the chair, flips it up in the air, and slams it behind you.
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>Before you amazing reflexes allow you to object, she scoots it into your hard rock glutes.
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>Looks like you lost this round.
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>The frown that was etched upon her muzzle gives way to the slightest of corner smirks.
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“Yeah, whatever.”
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>Her calm voice tries very hard to conceal her frustration.
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>”Please be calm. I expect full cooperation and respect. The same for Warden Spark. I will look past the assault if you answer my question.”
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>Right, right, little horsie person is an ‘Inquisitor’.
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“I’ve had my share of speed dating. What you like to know? My favorite food, how good my muscles look, or my favorite color? Jerky is the best, these muscles are one of my many incredible features, and at the moment blue with golden mane is a beautiful color combination. Your turn.”
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>The little mare has been following your moves very carefully, but as soon as you finish she has a small toothy grin.
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“Doesn’t take much to get you to talk.” Her ears turn towards the door, but her gaze never leaves you, "Do you deem yourself a threat in any way to the lands of Equestria or it's denizens?"
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>Stop doing a one armed handstand push up on the chair as you muse her question.
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“Well, I’m probably pretty dangerous to any pizza joints you got. But other than that, naw.”
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>Another set of hooves step into the room.
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>”I see why you called me, Inquisitor Hex.” This mare has that deep dark brooding voice down to a Mr. T. “We shall speak with you two later about the apprentice mistake. You are dismissed.”
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>Anon loves a dangerous woman.
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“Please to meet you, I’m Anon. Anon Bravo. By the way, love the uniform you all have dressed up in. Very sharp. Is there a parade goin’ on? I can play a mean sousaphone.”
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>She inspects her clothing only briefly.
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>”Shows good discipline to follow the code, including the robes. Now then, I need to test your sincerity. Are you a mare or a colt?” The silver horn glows deep as she awaits your answer.
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>Just shrug, a little hurt that it wasn’t obvious.
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“I ain’t no colt. I’m a stallion!”
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“A bucking bronco.”
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“Wild Mustang.”
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“A full on draft horse.”
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>Then a sharp pain bounces in your noggin.
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>”No lies it seems. Despite your overreliance to bolster your ego with quick weak quips, you are not guilty of lying.” Warden Sparks gives you that look you’re all too familiar with, one that usually ends with you kicked out a window. “Wild Mustang is correct, you appear to have no self control with how much you run your mouth. Regardless, this is not the place for a stallion regardless of origin, follow me.”
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>Tough, to the point, doesn’t care about pushing her authority.
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>Aw yeah, this momma is the big wig mamma.
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>Her suit looks good on her too.
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“Self control? Pssh, I can juggle bowling balls on a unicycle going through a flaming ring over a cage of lions.” Flex a little, if discipline impresses her then showing your dedication should work. “Oh yeah, the acoustics are great in here. Oh ha! Yeah! I can hear my muscles bulge echo through here.”
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>A weight clamps down on your hands.
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>Warden Sparks’s horn glows for a moment as shackles appear around your wrists.
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>Damn, not even looking at you while she does it.
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>”It would bring me great pleasure if you could resist gyrating like a belly dancing zebra stallion heretic. They will come off when you behave.”
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>If that’s how she wants to play, no problemo.
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>Point your fingers with a pow gesture
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“Gotcha.”
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>Walking through the dimly lit walls, you feel like you’ve forgotten something rather important.
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>Whatever, it’ll come to you when it is good and ready.
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>”It is clear to me why you’ve been brought here, but let’s talk about that in my private quarters.”
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>Warden Tough As Nails does a very good job making up the fact that you tower over her. A real domineer this one.
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>Look down at these little cuffs you’d probably break with a flex.
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>Pretty strange looking.
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“So ah, I know these are kind of your thing, but what’s with these metal cuffs. Look like some kind of special name brand doo hickey.”
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>"You can see the bands? I’m sad I’m not surprised. No matter, it is merely one of our holy spells. Only those tainted by regrets and sin can see them."
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>Regret.
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>Oh you know regret.
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>Though her tone is cold, there is a slight hint of surprise from the mare.
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>”So you can show emotions other than boisterous ruin. There may be hope for you.”
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“Hope is a funny thing. I regret, so many lost chances. To get a number one main squeeze. My main chick to come down and do the monkey with me. You catching my drift?”
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>The warden says nothing, not even a sigh or a grumble.
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>Simply trots ahead, a little bit of smoke coming out of her ears.
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>She totally digs you.
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>”We’re here. Sit down. Normally.”
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“Wiggy.”
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>Warden is looking at a bunch of dead leaves, looks back at you.
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>She shakes her mane as she pulls out a cold glass of water.
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>Two glasses sit between her and you now.
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>Her hooves tap together, her clopping echoes in the room.
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>”There is a lot of work to do with you. Misguided unbridled-”
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>Heh, she said bridled.
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>”lechery and pride in a stallion to such a degree is unfathomable. However, there is potential. I know you could've broken those enchantments on you, but you obeyed. No so much a heretic, but an uncultured savage.”
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“I am certainly savage.”
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>Warden Sparks takes a long drink from her glass.
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>Her ears are doin’ that funny thing when they twitch away from you.
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>”Quite, ignorant though you may be. Our laws will not ignore your sins, but will help you see them as they are. Absolution is not beyond you, not as long as I sit in this position of authority. I will not allow a stallion to continue as you please.”
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>Oof, big words from this prattling mare.
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>A tome of a manual slams down, almost knocking your drink over.
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>Thankfully you catch the contents in your pecs.
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“Huh, nice nerd book. You play that dork game in that basement we left?”
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>”Enough!”
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>Warden Sparks slams her hooves down on the table, knocking your glass off the table yet again.
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>”Buffoon. Wretched thick headed creature. I will flay these holy scriptures into your mind until they are all you can recant.” The book flys open as she grabs you by the back of your head and slams it down into the tome. “Witness! You called yourself a mustang? I break mustangs here on my watch!”
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>The pretty words sing, a nice catchy jaunty tune.
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>Like that time you went to a church, the music was pretty boring so you decided to spice things up at the organ.
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>Only this time, it is telling you something.
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>Something important that you forgot.
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>It must be raining because your eyes are watering harder than a monsoon.
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>”You can see the light! Open up your eyes!”
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“Say, ah, little mare warden. I think I remember what was bothering ol’ Anon here. Mother’s Day is this Sunday.”
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>Warden Sparks stops and looks up to her calendar.
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>”Huh, it is. I need to get my matriarch something.”
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“Well it has been fun and all, but I love my momma. Gotta go and see her, but we can do this again sometime.”
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>”Do this. Again.”
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>Right, time to go home.
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>And you got a magic book here.
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“Right then, tap your heels together, think of home, la dee da here we go!”
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>Anon disappears in a puff of logic.
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>Warden Sparks nearly falls over from the bulk of a man vanishing beneath her.
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>The holy word crashes down on the table.
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>She jerks her head around for any sign of the heretic monster.
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>With careful magic, she takes out her strongest tea bags.
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>Slowly, she puts the chairs back into place.
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>Stirs her glass, mulling what just transpired.
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>”I’m tempted to declare him a chaos spawn and have him shot if he ever comes back.”
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I’m sorry.
by wingedanon
by wingedanon
by wingedanon
by wingedanon
by wingedanon