Manofass(2016): Beach Bum Anon Chapter 2: The Phantom Pain


                                            >"Speedy!"

                                            >Groggy eyes open to reveal a familiar face merely inches away from yours

                                            >You jump in surprise and the face seems to mistake that for preparing to scream or something, because almost instantly your mouth is covered by a scabbed, grimy, unwashed hand that smelled strongly of hot sauce and human shit

                                            >You chuckle at the visitor's twitchiness

                                            "Ragu? Could it be you?"

                                            >You amuse yourself with your crummy rhyme and chuckle again

                                            >"Shut the fuck up, man, we're in deep shit! Get your ass up an' follow me or you're a sure goner!"

                                            >You comply with casual stumbling, not quite one with your inner cat or your inner ear at the moment

                                            >He leads you out of a boxcar in the middle of a rail yard

                                            "Shit, Bill, the hell is this all about?"

                                            >"I was hearin' noises, Speed. It's bulls, come to beat the tar outta me an' crack my skull sunny side. An' you know I hate bein' called Bill, asshole."

                                            "Because Ragu is so much better. I swear, you've got yourself the silliest moniker I ever heard of."

                                            >You punctuate this statement with a shake of your head

                                            >"Not at all like Speedy, eh Anon?"

                                            >You snicker at your own hypocrisy and leave the subject

                                            "So, what brings you into my neck of the woods this time of night?"

                                            >You realize you don't recognize this area at all, at least not in the late evening/early morning darkness

                                            "Or me to yours, I suppose."

                                            >"Sh-h!"

                                            >He shoves you to the ground, where sharp gravel rocks pierce at your delicate, exposed underbelly

                                            >You now realize you are wearing nothing but jeans and an open suit jacket

                                            >Bill follows you down, landing with a quiet thud and suppressed whimper

                                            >You stand up slowly and quietly, and see nothing around that could've set Bill off

                                            "Dammit Ragu, you're just hearing things again. You keep this shit up and I've got half a mind to tie your hands and feet and haul you to the nut factory."


                                            >This time when your eyes open you are greeted by a panting, happy-looking dog

                                            >And you're under a tree stump, covered in dirt

                                            >What the balls

                                            "What the balls?"

                                            >Your voice is different

                                            >You motion to shoo the dog away and catch sight of your hoof

                                            >It all comes rushing back

                                            >Holy fuck this has lasted for so long

                                            >Which either means it's real

                                            >Or you've lapsed into psychosis

                                            "OH GOD!"

                                            >And that means you might as well be dead

                                            "OH GOD OH GOD!"

                                            >Because Eddie's just gonna scrape out all your usable organs and sell them to hispanic gentlemen

                                            "OH SHI-"

                                            >Your body is wracked with pain as the pendant on your neck makes itself known

                                            >The sudden shock serves to snap you out of your stupor and take a deep breath

                                            >This has gotta be real, right?

                                            >If you were mad, you'd be doing nothing but hooting and hollering all night long

                                            >You'd talk about how the moon landing was fake and Jesus shot Kennedy

                                            >You would take the theories about Rick Scott being an orc in disguise seriously

                                            >You aren't crazy

                                            >This is all just real

                                            >Quantum vaccums and whatnot

                                            >You've calmed down quite a bit when suddenly an orange face pops out of nowhere and scares the shit out of you

                                            >You kick dirt in its eyes, causing it to cringe back in discomfort and skitter out of your hidey hole

                                            >You stop to get a read on the situation, and see that it's just some cowboy pony rubbing dirt out of her eyes with the dog from earlier sitting on the ground, contented

                                            "Uh, what's up?"

                                            >"What in tarnation did ya go and do that for?"

                                            "I, uh, got spooked, is all. Can't just drop in on a guy while he's trying to sleep like that, you know?"

                                            >She clears her face and stares daggers at you

                                            >"And just what are you doing squatting on my land while poor ol' Twi's worrying her royal head off about you?"

                                            "What now?"

                                            >"She organized search parties and everything! We combed the streets, the alleys, the woods and the fields lookin' for you, and here you are just lounging in a tree stump like everything's hunky dory!"

                                            "I'm not following."

                                            >She blinks for a moment and her expression softens

                                            >"You are Speedy, right?"

                                            >You nod

                                            >Her brow furrows once more and she starts yapping meaningless and arbitrary bullshit about responsibility and trust

                                            >What the fuck crawled up her ass?

                                            "Jesus, lady, calm down now. I don't understand what the big fuss is about!"

                                            >"Neither do I, but I trust Twilight's judgement enough to get worked up about it."

                                            >Holy shit she just admitted to being a fucking fool

                                            >You begin to laugh in her face

                                            "Are you legit retarded?"

                                            >You choke out between cackles

                                            >Her face turns as red as the fruit on her ass and she grabs you by the ear and seats herself on the stump you had found shelter in

                                            >Her fury only makes you laugh harder, and you can practically see the steam billowing from her ears as she bends you over her leg

                                            >Before you realize what she is doing she whaps your rump with all the force an angry pony can call upon

                                            >And it hurts like hell

                                            "What the f-"

                                            >You involuntarily flail your legs as the shock hits, but Applejack takes this as you just fidgeting from the whipping

                                            >She smacks again and again, harder and harder each time

                                            >When the shock wears off, you find yourself actually enjoying it

                                            >With each spank, you only grow more aroused

                                            >She doesn't notice your growing erection, and keeps going

                                            >Your face grows red as you moan quietly, heart practically jumping out of your chest

                                            >"O-h f-f-f..u..."

                                            >For whatever reason, the locket doesn't activate this time

                                            >By the time orange is sure you've learned your lesson, you cum buckets all over her lap

                                            >She stops in the middle of another whack

                                            >"Did you go and piss yourself?"

                                            >Without waiting for a response, she lifts you up to get a look at the damage done

                                            >Been too long since a nigga had a good nut

                                            >She sets you on the ground and stares intently at the mess on her lap, shock, disgust and rage twisting her face silently into horrible, hilarious shapes

                                            >You would laugh if you weren't so overcome with blissful relief

                                            >Silently, she stands up and walks away, looking back at you and opening her mouth to say something once, shudders, and turns back around without uttering a word


                                            >Crazy niggas can't nut, right?

                                            >You pace around the tree stump, having recovered from your sick cum

                                            >A seemingly endless and neat pattern of apple trees spreads out in all directions, giving you no bearings on where to go now

                                            >If you were crazy, you'd just shit and piss everywhere

                                            >That's what Stacy did when she went all loony

                                            >Occasionally you'd stop to fumble around with the locket, finding some minute comfort in running your hooves across the bumpy exterior

                                            >"Speedy!"

                                            >Purple's voice calls out from some distance away

                                            >She rushes towards you in full gallop, stopping mere inches from your face

                                            >"Are you okay? What happened? Where did you go? Did somepony take you? How did you get here?"

                                            >What the hell is her problem

                                            "PURPLE! Prove to me that this is real!"

                                            >She gives you a strange look

                                            >"What? Prove that what is real?"

                                            "THIS! ALL OF THIS! I WANT ANSWERS, DA-"

                                            >Your muscles falter and you collapse into a twitching pile of suffering

                                            >The shock goes on for far longer than it should, seconds of pure agony ticking by as purple looks on in horror

                                            >"ARE YOU EPILEPTIC? OH DEAR CELESTIA THIS IS BAD, THIS IS BAD BAD BAD-"

                                            >She begins trotting in place, looking around in panic

                                            >You convulse and throb as five seconds turns into ten, and ten starts to feel like an hour

                                            >You can hardly breathe, limited to ghasping and short, pathetic screams

                                            >There's a sudden flash of light and the both of you are in the hospital again

                                            >"FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT!"

                                            >Twilight shouts to no one in particular

                                            >It would be funny if you weren't in so much pain

                                            >Suddenly, all is quiet

                                            >Your body relaxes as the pain quickly fades

                                            >You can taste bile dribbling out of your mouth

                                            >A constant thumping in your chest threatens to deafen you

                                            >Your lungs are in a constant battle between inhale and exhale, breaths erratic and incomplete as your body tries to make sense of the terrible anguish it just suffered

                                            >Your back begins tingling as you are lifted into the air

                                            >You look around to see that Twilight is using some sort of magical jedi bullshit on you, the source of which you infer is her glowing horn

                                            >Now, you consider yourself a rational person

                                            >Your fears consist of realistic and likely things, such as mirrors, lawyers, the Flu, GMOs and other forms of dark magic

                                            >Typically you would chalk a wacky doodad like the horse's jedi powers to being high as a kite

                                            >But now that there is a chance that this is all real, you begin to discern something

                                            >This isn't voodoo

                                            >No, voodoo is just baby shit compared to the real monster here

                                            >The dreadful realization sinks in that there are much higher and more despicable powers at play here

                                            >You are dealing with hoodoo

                                            >Involuntarily, your ears flatten and you tuck your tail between your legs

                                            >You spit in Tinkerbell's eyes and she drops you out of confusion

                                            >While the monster is dazed, you dash around her and out the hospital doors

                                            >But if you went down the road, you would only be caught

                                            >You can't go that fast on stubby little legs like these

                                            >You run around the exterior of the hospital, looking for the familiar scent of rot and decay

                                            >However, you are denied access to any dumpster, for Twilight is upon you like a wolf on a lamb, pinning you down with surprising power

                                            "RAAAPE! RAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!"

                                            >You shout at the top of your lungs without thinking, and once more she cringes away from you, giving you the moment of respite to slip from her grasp

                                            >But this freedom is far more short-lived, you are quickly wrapped in her demon aura

                                            >"YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN!"

                                            >She sounds just as terrified as you, and far more confused

                                            >You kick and bite at the air, hoping to wound the ghost that she has called upon to imprison you

                                            "UNHAND ME YOU GODLESS HEATHEN!"


                                            >Your eyelids are heavy, both out of exhaustion and in reaction to the harsh flourescent lighting

                                            >Your mouth is dry and you spend a good few seconds trying to wet your tongue with saliva

                                            >A familiar muzziness has come over you, one you are quite fond of

                                            >All senses are dulled and you have a slight feeling of euphoria

                                            >You take a look around to see that you are in a hospital bed, the walls around you so white they seem to glow

                                            >The ceiling takes on a similar hue, brilliant white paneling regularly interrupted by shining flourescent tubes

                                            >The bed seems to be the only thing in the room

                                            >You enjoy the snugness of your bed for a little while before deciding to get up

                                            >But to your surprise, both of your forelegs are tied to the sides of the railing by leather bindings

                                            >The leather seemed out of place in the sleek and sterile setting, but before you can dwell on this further a shrill voice breaks your fragile focus

                                            >"Jeez, was somepony sleepy or what?"

                                            >You lazily turn your head to face a white mare in nurse scrubs that miracurously evaded your sight when you scanned the room

                                            >Either that or she came in while you were cozying up in bed

                                            >You open your mouth to say something before realizing that you have nothing to say

                                            >For a moment your jaw hangs open, then you close it, look down at your restrained hooves and giggle at the sight of your stubby legs before twisting your face into one of confusion

                                            >She seems to understand

                                            >"Sorry about those sweetie, when you came in you were a little on the unfriendly side, and we woudln't want you hurting anypony just because you aren't yourself."

                                            "Whaaa?"

                                            >You half say, half groan

                                            >She chuckles in reply

                                            >"You had a bit of a breakdown and things got kinda out of hoof. If I take off the cuffs, will you be calm for me?"

                                            >You take some time to process the words, barely comprehending what she is saying

                                            >You stare at her with hollow eyes and realize that your lips are rather dry

                                            >You take a moment to lick your lips and then finally give her a limp nod

                                            >She just smiles and begins to undo your restraints

                                            >"There we go, that should be a bit more comfortable!"

                                            >She says with a chipper grin

                                            >You rub your wrists where the straps had dug in

                                            >Not to say they were miserably tight, you simply had a sudden impulsive curiosity as to what this part of your body felt

                                            >Needless to say, nothing was very different from what you expected

                                            >Soft fur ending in a tough keratin hoof that felt like big fingernails

                                            >You look back up to see the mare pushing a cup in your face

                                            >"Drink this, it will make you feel better."

                                            >You weren't feeling bad at all but you comply anyways

                                            >It tastes like leaves and rotten fruit


                                            >When next you wake, you are laying in far less comfortable bedding

                                            >The lights are simply adequate, as opposed to outright blinding

                                            >A blue curtain stretches around the front and sides of your bed

                                            >The ceiling is a dull forest green, and no obvious light fixtures exist

                                            >You realize that you need to piss

                                            >Slowly, unsteadily, you begin to climb out of the bed, but your shaky limbs make you slip and fall

                                            >You land on your ass and damage only your pride

                                            >If you had any

                                            >Something slaps against your brest when you hit the ground and an experimental prod tells you it's the locket

                                            >So you've still got that

                                            >The magical amulet that invokes demon powers to fuck your shit

                                            >You swallow hard as you cautiously rub the silver engravings

                                            >You try and recall what happened after Twilight trapped you in her diabolical vice grip

                                            >All you can grasp are bits and pieces of fear, rage, bright lights and lots of biting

                                            >Your body quivers in fear of what other horrors this lawless magical fairyland might hold

                                            >On shaky legs, you creep along the floor, terrified that if you made the slightest noise you might make yourself a target for the evil spirits residing here

                                            >You peek out from under the curtain and see a doorway right in front of you and a line of a few more curtains to either side

                                            >A moan from your left, a bell rings

                                            >Almost instantly, you retreat back into your curtain and dive under the bed, rocking the creaky wooden frame as you do

                                            >You wait a few moments before your hear the sound of the door opening, squeaking ever so loudly on metal hinges

                                            >Hoofsteps approach your curtain

                                            >Your muscles tense up and you clench your teeth

                                            >Surely one of the beasts has come to claim your soul

                                            >The sound grows ever closer before suddenly turning away and continuing to the left

                                            >You realize that you've been holding your breath and let out a weak, quiet sigh

                                            >"Good morning, Snips! How are we feeling today?"

                                            >It's the voice from the white room

                                            >A strand of your hair has found its way onto your face and you nervously begin chewing on its end

                                            >"Miss Redheart, my leg hurts!"

                                            >A grating, obnoxious voice calls out

                                            >The mare giggles

                                            >"Well why don't we change that, huh? I'll go get you your medicine."

                                            >The hoofsteps follow the same path out and you hear the door squeak and subsequently click closed

                                            >Someone to your left, probably the bell's ringer, is groaning and whining in agony

                                            >A few minutes pass before you fell comfortable sticking your head out again

                                            >The hallway is empty

                                            >You quietly slide out from under the curtain and inch towards the door

                                            >You grab the handle and find it unlocked

                                            >To your dismay, the door opens seemingly on its own accord and from behind it appears the white figure of a familiar nurse

                                            >"Speedy! What are you doing up and about?"

                                            >Your eyes dash around the room

                                            >You could probably slip past her no problem

                                            >Then all you had to do is find a window to jump out of or something

                                            >The hospital was only 3 stories tall as you remember

                                            >You only have a 1/3rd chance of falling from a height that will kill you

                                            "Uhh, I uhh... need... to pee! Yes! I must use the restroom! That is all, and then I shall return here, to this room and to the bed which has been designated for me. Yes, that is what I shall do, so excuse me while I go to the restroom, alone."

                                            >You don't even realize that by this point you've made it to the end of the hallway at a full gallop, and your path is split into left or right

                                            >White is right, and white makes right, and right is not left, so the only logical option would be to go right

                                            >"Speedy! Come back! You don't need to be scared!"

                                            >Sounds like what someone would say if you had need to be scared

                                            >HAH! You will not fall for the witch's tricks that easily

                                            >You barrel down a staircase, with no idea of where you are going

                                            >Tripping over yourself halfway down, you skip over an entire flight and land face-first into the tile at the base of the steps

                                            >Too much adrenaline courses through your veins, you can't stop now, you can't feel pain

                                            >You feel as though her wicked witch claws are nipping right at your heels, and if you waste another moment you will be in her dark clutches once more

                                            >And who says you will get another chance to escape once you've already outsmarted them once?

                                            >You barrel down this new hallway, your busted nose oozing a slow torrent of blood all over your muzzle and chin

                                            >A buff-looking stallion, an orderly perhaps, has blocked the path before you

                                            >You leap at him, throwing your entire body weight at his dumb stupid head

                                            >Your jump is surprisingly high, and you take him by surprise, slamming into his face headfirst

                                            >You knock him down and fall right with him

                                            >Scrambling to your hooves, you waste no time in getting right back into your groove, leaving the confused and disoriented orderly behind

                                            >That's right, you might be a horse now but you still know how to bust out of a nuttery

                                            >Suddenly your legs are caught in something

                                            >You flail about like a fish out of water, trying to free yourself from the sudden appearance of netting at your hooves

                                            >None of this makes any fucking sense

                                            >But then again it doesn't have to, since you are dealing with demons

                                            >The corridor is filled with the sound of your screams

                                            >"Relax, sweetie, this will only take a moment."

                                            >Looking back, you can see your attacker is some pink unicorn

                                            >And she's using the force to hold up a needle

                                            >Demon magic AND demon drugs?

                                            >Holy shit this is worse than you thought

                                            >You manage to untangle one of your rear legs and raise it up to unleash a stream of piss onto her face

                                            >You aren't quite on target, spraying her entire body in a haphazard fashion, but the desired effect is achieved

                                            >You no longer have to pee and the jedi doctor is disabled for the time being

                                            >However, the netting proves a far greater opponent

                                            >Its will is strong, refusing to back down no matter how hard you punch and urinate on it

                                            >Your WWE senses kick in and you attempt to suplex the net, only to find yourself further tangled in the mess

                                            >Just as the Nazi scientist regains her composure, you manage to tangle yourself in such a fashion that your legs are free to move

                                            >Its a stroke of genius

                                            >You can only get so tangled in the net before it becomes tangled in you

                                            >With your newfound armor capable of stopping a wily salmon, you make a full charge out of the sawbones' reach and blindly turn a corner

                                            >Slamming straight into a direlect metal cart covered in miscellaneous surgical equipment

                                            >Minor flares of pain travel up your sides and back but die out as quickly as they came

                                            >You throw the cart out of the way and suddenly the lobby is in sight

                                            >A long hallway and two glass sliding doors are all that stand between you and freedom

                                            >Hospital staff poke their heads out from behind doors, curious of the ruckus

                                            >Most of them step out of their rooms, concerned for the blood-covered and panting colt that stands before them

                                            >A sudden rush of voices assaults your senses and you blindly charge into the practitioners

                                            >Most of them, being fragile old folk, had the sense to get the fuck out of the way, but a few younger nurses and doctors attempt to approach and devour you

                                            >But you will have none of it

                                            >As you whir by the demons you think you manage to deck one in the throat

                                            >The hallway draws to an end and ghasps and shrieks of alarmed townsfolk in the lobby steal your attention, but only for a moment

                                            >You make one final leap for the glass doors, tucking your head down to shatter the panes with the cap of your skull


                                            >Shards of glass hail down on you as you tumble out of the lobby

                                            >You found your footing the moment you touched the ground, and for a moment you stood still, straight as an arrow, dizziness overtaking your senses

                                            >But you couldn't let it overwhelm you

                                            >You didn't come this far to be felled by petty physical limitations of the body

                                            >You reach out a hoof to get back to running only to fall flat on your face

                                            >But you aren't awake long enough to feel any pain


                                            >Thousands of specks of brilliant white are fixed above you, framed against the pitch black of a night sky

                                            >Somewhere in the distance the low rumble of thunder silences the chirps of crickets and cicadas, but only for a few moments before they return to their sex calls

                                            >Against the back of your head is something hard and narrow, and when you look behind you it is discovered you had been sleeping on a park bench

                                            >Not something you are unfamiliar with

                                            >You turn your head to see a large bronze statue standing atop a stone column pedestal

                                            >The statue is some sort of angel casting her hands into the sky

                                            >Most of her head and hands have corroded, the nose missing and the rest covered in green patina

                                            >Movement to your left attracts your attention, and you turn to see a tall, lanky sillhouette with a big blob of something on a leash, travelling on the dirt path that encircled the statue

                                            >Headed straight towards you

                                            >"Anon! It's you!"

                                            >The figure calls out in a voice you'd recognize anywhere

                                            >"Sorry Smoozy, but duty calls."

                                            >The blob looks around, appearing confused, before a snap of Discord's fingers sends it to god knows where

                                            >The sudden use of sinister spells shocks and frightens you, and you jump to your hooves ready to strangle the shit out of the dirty wizard if he came any closer

                                            >"How's my favorite little colt doing tonight?"

                                            >He spreads out his arms as if to hug you and begins walking closer

                                            >But you know that if you share an embrace with him he will trap your soul in a crystal ball to suspend over a boiling cauldron

                                            >With wild eyes, you pounce at him, determined to destroy the foul beast

                                            >He plucks you from the air, pulls you into a hug that spins from the momentum of your attack, and then releases you to sling into the ground

                                            >"Now now, Anon, I know you're happy to see me, but we have serious matters to discuss."

                                            "I-I... I'll... I'll unhinge my jaw and... devour you li-ike a fucking snake!"

                                            >You hiss at him, and he responds by slapping your cheek

                                            >Then, as if your threat hadn't happened at all, he continues

                                            >"So far you've managed to impress upon the poor, unkowing denizens of Ponyville that you are a mad child in need of desperate help, and now I'm afraid there's a good chance you're going to get locked up in a sanitarium. For life."

                                            >You freeze

                                            >Being trapped in the big white casket has always been your worst nightmare

                                            >A million different thoughts go through your head, most of them having to do with witch doctors and their soul-stealing mirrors

                                            >You sniffle

                                            >You hadn't even realized you were crying

                                            "I... I know who really are now..."

                                            >He cocks an eyebrow

                                            >"Haven't I already told you?"

                                            "You're... you're Satan! Running around, stealing people's souls, making them sign evil contracts what don't say a damn thing but you make it up as you go!"

                                            >You huff, seething with rage, and wipe a strand of snot that was making its way down your driveling muzzle

                                            >Discord's face remains attentively neutral, and you suspect you've struck true with your allegations

                                            "A-a-and you know something? You know what? You can take your goddamn demon blood magic and your goddamn demon hellscape and shove em both right up your ass you moon-worshipping double queer, 'cept the feeling would probably make you jizz yourself!"

                                            >There's a moment of silence and you lose steam as his expression slowly grows more stern

                                            >Maybe calling Satan a queer isn't such a bright decision

                                            >His face inches towards yours and you gulp, the one snaggeltoothed fang poking out of his mouth looking mighty sharp right about now

                                            >And then he explodes into laughter

                                            >"You should've seen your face!"

                                            >He says as he rolls on the ground, pointing at you

                                            >Your fear subsides and the righteous fury returns

                                            "You're the devil! The devil's shit! Cloven hoof caked in ash and turds!"

                                            >He wipes a tear from his cheek as the laughter slows into chuckles, then turns into a big, placid grin on his smug goat face

                                            >"Well, I've had fun chatting, but I've got other obligations to fulfill. Ciao!"

                                            >With that, he disappears into a cloud of smoke, leaving you to swear and scream and spit at the dirt

                                            >Eventually you curl up into a ball and cry yourself into a deep sleep


                                            >The first thing you notice is the warm embrace of a big hug

                                            >However, the warmth is quickly dissipated as your eyes are drawn to a straightjacket laced around your chest

                                            >The tight, oppressive garment is stained with little black and brown specks, and the yellowed cloth was probably once a pristine white

                                            >Something foreign tickles you up your back before the sensation is joined by a dozen other similar ones all over your body

                                            >You wheeze, unable to summon the breath to scream under the ferocity with which the straps on the jacket were pulled

                                            >In fact, it seems to only get tigther with each exhale, mimicking the movements of a coiled serpent trapping its prey

                                            >All you can do is thrash about in what you gather is a padded room

                                            >The noodle was right, you're in some kind of brain brothel

                                            >You refuse to accept that your mind is being whored out to the sadistic whims of crotchedy bonesaws and their sexy sidekick nurses, and manage to let out a muffled curse, as though a violation of the jacket's restrictions would mark some sort of strike against the malice of its owners

                                            >It is only then that you realize you have a gag in your mouth

                                            >Before it had been almost as if it weren't even there

                                            >A sillhouette stands before you now

                                            >Some shadow walker materializing from the great formless white nothing that expanded before you in all directions

                                            >But weren't you in a padded room?

                                            >The sillhouette grows in size until it dwarfs you, cooing its venom-laced incomprehensible wall noise at you as you feel a prick in your shoulder


                                            >Tick tock tick tock

                                            >The ramblings of a loud granfather clock fill your ears, bring with them a sort of hypnotic calm

                                            >The noise digs deep into your soul, your heart following the metronome with a mindless thrum

                                            >"You've got yourself a mommy and daddy, don't you boy?"

                                            >A soft, masculine voice cuts through the peace of the clock

                                            >You are almost angry at it until you register the words that hung in the air like carbon monoxide

                                            "Of course I have a fu-"

                                            >Before you can finish, you are wracked with a familiar, jolting shock

                                            >It is not long before your wit returns to you and you realize where you are

                                            >Bookshelves filled with nameless red volumes

                                            >A homely, cozy decor scheme

                                            >And a well-cushioned fainting sofa beneath you

                                            >The old shit sits in a high-backed chair next to the sofa, and he's jumped a little by your sudden violent twitching

                                            >A burly stallion at the door its dressed in white, and you assume him to be an orderly from the braindead look on his stony neutral face

                                            >You try to leap out at him, maybe wrap him in a headlock to take him hostage, but find that your hooves are bound tightly to railings built into the sides of the sofa

                                            >Your brow furrows

                                            "You have no right to keep me here. I am a human being, and I have rights!"

                                            >You suddenly shout, and this gets the brute's attention

                                            >He steps forward, with robotic fluidity and complete lack of any emotion

                                            >The good doctor seems a smite surprised by your sudden outburst, and quietly clears his throat as he composes himself

                                            >"I assure you, whatever human means, I am only here to help. Now, if you'd just-"

                                            "I don't care, I don't need your help, I shouldn't be here."

                                            >He sighs

                                            >"Can't you just accept my help? It's been a week already and despite everything you say, we've established your actions remain telling of something unpleasant going on in that noggin of yours."

                                            "Well maybe that's because... HOL UP. A WEEK?"


                                            >The subsequent violent outburst and horrific shocks that accompany your vulgar tirades prompt the orderly to pluck you out of the couch, drag you screaming down a long white hallway, and toss you in a barren room with all the care of a lumberjack throwing around logs for fun

                                            >You toss yourself around on the tile floor, vomit into the drain in the center of the room, and try desperately to scramble on top of the bolted-down cot at the far wall so you can try and break the metal buckles on the jacket with some bone-fracturing falls

                                            >The barred window that sat just above the bed began to show dying sunlight and you became keenly aware of the scent of feces filling the room

                                            >You gnaw at the bars in a fevered frenzy, give up, collapse on the bed, and whimper in terrified denial

                                            >You aren't sure when sleep decided to come for you, or when it left you for the grogginess of an interrupted deep slumber, but the moon was hanging high in the sky when the bars started popping off your window one by one

                                            >A face covered in a brown paper bag with two pokedout eyeholes peered down at you from the aperture, but you had enough similar encounters in the past that this didn't really shock you

                                            >"Stay quiet and follow my lead."

                                            >The feminine-sounding bag climbs through and attatched to it appears a small pegasis body

                                            >About as large as yours, you'd say

                                            >A hop, snip and a tear later and you have been freed from your straightjacket and the child ushers you out the same way she came in

                                            >You're just happy to be leaving the hellhole, so much so that you don't bother worrying when she guides you under a barbed wire fence and into the thick, dark forest that surrounded what you assumed to be a nuthouse that you were held captive in

                                            >What happened next was a haze of a crackling fire, something warm to eat that you gobbled without thought, and then a return the the blissful oblivion of your dreams