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Manofass(2017): Beach Bum Anon Chapter 6: Jungle Hijinks

By dadonequus_archives
Created: 2021-05-13 18:26:52
Expiry: Never
/dad/

  1. 1.
    >The forest has an odd lull to it
  2. 2.
    >No birds chirping
  3. 3.
    >No squirrels skittering
  4. 4.
    >No bugs screaming
  5. 5.
    >Even the wind seems dead
  6. 6.
    >But at least you're away from goddamn Aum Shinrikyo
  7. 7.
    >You've been walking for a about an hour
  8. 8.
    >Ought to be a few miles away by now
  9. 9.
    >Maybe a little less on these stubby little legs
  10. 10.
    >Your stomach grumbles
  11. 11.
    >Did you even eat last night?
  12. 12.
    >No, you didn't
  13. 13.
    >Probably for the best, who knows what horrors they laced those onions with
  14. 14.
     
  15. 15.
    >You've come across a small clearing and
  16. 16.
    >O shit, is that a potato plant?
  17. 17.
    >You hurriedly dig at the small white flower, pulling it out when the dirt is loose enough
  18. 18.
    >Score
  19. 19.
    >They're tiny little bastards, but they're edible
  20. 20.
    >Probably
  21. 21.
    >Looks kinda like a peanut crossed with a tomato
  22. 22.
    >You bite a single spud directly from the root
  23. 23.
    >Tastes like sand
  24. 24.
     
  25. 25.
    >The potatoes weren't very filling
  26. 26.
    >And you don't have any water to wash the sandy taste out
  27. 27.
    >It's been a few hours and the flavor still lingers
  28. 28.
    >It's infuriating
  29. 29.
    >At least with rotten dumpster food you get that special sourness you can't get anywhere else
  30. 30.
    >You don't even mind the food poisoning anymore
  31. 31.
    >Hell, at times the moldy fruit even tastes better than otherwise
  32. 32.
    >But this
  33. 33.
    >This is terrible
  34. 34.
    >Not even accented by anything, like a hint of body odor or the methane of rat droppings
  35. 35.
    >It's just straight up sand
  36. 36.
    >Maybe that's what muslims have to deal with
  37. 37.
    >Maybe that's why they're always getting into trouble
  38. 38.
    >You'd be pretty angry, too, if you had to deal with this all the time
  39. 39.
    >Something squirms underneath your foot
  40. 40.
    >You yelp and leap off, expecting to have crushed a cockroach or stepped on a snake
  41. 41.
    >But nothing seems to be there
  42. 42.
    >You eye it for a long time, to no avail
  43. 43.
    >This particular patch of ground does seem a bit higher than the surrounding forest floor, though
  44. 44.
    >Inching closer, you cautiously nudge the pile of leaves and sticks that cover the topsoil
  45. 45.
    >"Who?"
  46. 46.
    >Your heart sinks and you are frozen in fear
  47. 47.
    >"Mghmm... mhmm..."
  48. 48.
    >The leaves bulge and writhe as the figure underneath reveals itself
  49. 49.
    >"Eugh... who's that?"
  50. 50.
    >Selkie yawns before you, simultaneously stretching out a foreleg and scratching the back of his head
  51. 51.
    >You clutch your chest as you let go of breath you didn't even know you were holding
  52. 52.
    >He stares with a sluggish intensity at the surrounding foliage, drinking in every last angle and curve
  53. 53.
    >His gaze moves from the leaves to your hooves, slowly traveling up to your eyes and locking you in glaring scrutiny
  54. 54.
    >His eyes soften and he chuckles lightly
  55. 55.
    "Uh, sorry about stepping on you and stuff, Iyuh, I didn't see you there..."
  56. 56.
    >He chuckles again
  57. 57.
    >"Pshhh... what?"
  58. 58.
    >He licks his lips, dry and cracked and covered in humus
  59. 59.
    >The dirt seems to somewhat surprise him, and he curiously crunches on the particles with an open mouth
  60. 60.
    >Satisfied, he wipes his tongue off on his foreleg, unaware of its own filthiness
  61. 61.
    >Somewhere distant a bird is chirping
  62. 62.
    >You take a deep breath as your heart finally settles
  63. 63.
    "So.... What's with the dirt nap?"
  64. 64.
    >As the words leave your mouth you become suddenly aware of how suspicious this is
  65. 65.
    >He could easily be some kind of skinwalker or wendigo or some other native american bullshit
  66. 66.
    >Lying in wait for a hapless, unknowing victim
  67. 67.
    >Your heart flutters to life
  68. 68.
    >He opens his mouth halfway, stops, closes it, and sniffs the air
  69. 69.
    >It must have killed the real Selkie and is just now getting acquainted with its new body!
  70. 70.
    >You tense up, your mind racing with action plans
  71. 71.
    >"Where's... uhhh...-"
  72. 72.
    >He bites his lip and sucks in a sharp breath
  73. 73.
    >You begin to slowly back away, feeling the ground for a rock or a thick branch, something to use as a weapon
  74. 74.
    >"What did... where did... uhhhhhhhm..."
  75. 75.
    >You lock your grasp on something hard, lumpy and round, presumably a rock
  76. 76.
    >"Do you know... where... Sssss-.... Stumps? Stumpy... Stump-"
  77. 77.
    >With lightning speed, you bring up your foreleg and sling the rock at DoppelSelkie's forehead
  78. 78.
    >You weren't really aiming, though, you just had an idea of where you wanted your projectile to go and your body went on automatic
  79. 79.
    >Miraculously, it slams right smack in between his eyes, meeting the flesh with a dull crack
  80. 80.
    >He falls backwards, letting out a single grunt as he hit the ground
  81. 81.
    >You crouch down for a moment, ready to punce if the monster had any ideas about getting back up
  82. 82.
    >Does this count as interacting?
  83. 83.
    >Satan said not to interact with spirits, right?
  84. 84.
    >Are monsters spirits?
  85. 85.
    >But he also said not to die, so does defending yourself from spirits count as not dying, or interacting?
  86. 86.
    >DoppelSelkie lets out a quiet groan
  87. 87.
    >You begin to inch closer to the writhing body
  88. 88.
    >You've never seen a dead skinwalker
  89. 89.
    >You might be the first person to do so!
  90. 90.
    >Definitely the first to kill one
  91. 91.
    >Could their collective secret weakness be rocks?
  92. 92.
    >It appears so, as the image of Selkie does little but slowly squirm and groan
  93. 93.
    >There's a sizable gash on his forehead, slowly oozing blood over his eyes and down the side of his face
  94. 94.
    >The side of /its/ face
  95. 95.
    >Skinwalkers have no real gender
  96. 96.
    >As you come into its field of view, it regards you with pained confusion
  97. 97.
    >Yeah, you sure got the jump on this fucker
  98. 98.
    >But alas, it could be a farce
  99. 99.
    >It's entirely possible that he's...
  100. 100.
    >That it's taking advantage of your sudden overwhelming victory
  101. 101.
    >Waiting to jump the minute you let your guard down
  102. 102.
    >Wearing your skin like a latex suit
  103. 103.
    >That would be just like a skinwalker, employing the ol' switcharoo
  104. 104.
    >Such a cowardly tactic
  105. 105.
    >But what matches cowardice, other than overwhelming cowardice?
  106. 106.
    >It blinks at you and you take off without further thought
  107. 107.
     
  108. 108.
    >It's a lot easier to celebrate your victory with the skinwalker far behind you
  109. 109.
    >Now that it's not staring you in the eyes, you swell with pride at having bested such a terrifying creature
  110. 110.
    >Actually, if a skinwalker could be brought down with a measly stone, was it really that terrifying?
  111. 111.
    >Surely your fear all these years must have been irrational
  112. 112.
    >Native Americans are pussies
  113. 113.
    >You've noticed that your gait has turned from its typical skulk into a confident trot
  114. 114.
    >In fact, you've felt this overwhelming euphoria ever since the encounter
  115. 115.
    >How quickly in this childish body you have overcome a beast of myth hundreds of years old
  116. 116.
    >You can't stop replaying the last moments in your mind
  117. 117.
    >The fear in its eyes as you sized up your prize
  118. 118.
    >And you can't help but feel ashamed for leaving it alive like that
  119. 119.
    >No doubt it will die helpess and pathetic, if not from exposure or hunger then picked apart by woodland scavengers
  120. 120.
    >Perhaps other skinwalkers
  121. 121.
    >How much better would it have felt to end it yourself?
  122. 122.
    >And how would roasted skinwalker taste?
  123. 123.
    >You aren't sure how you'd start a fire, having never done so without matches or a lighter
  124. 124.
    >But the flesh of an ultimate predator shouldn't carry too much in the way of diseases
  125. 125.
    >And if it does, then who's to say Satan wouldn't fix you up with magic?
  126. 126.
    >He did seem fairly interested in your survival
  127. 127.
    >Unless that was a trick so you would kill yourself with your own hubris
  128. 128.
    >Careful, Icarus
  129. 129.
    >Maybe you should just stick to foraging

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