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The War to End All Wars
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Partially inspired by Anonistrator's When Nonny Comes Marchin' Home.
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"Battery! Distance five hundred, angle forty-five, high-disperser A! Fire!"
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>"Aye!"
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>With a slight pull on the rope, complicated machinery of the battle stations starts to work, finally sending a dozen of high-dispersing airburst shells across the sky and to the enemy fort.
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>"Cor-nel, we have a hit! One, three, eight, ten hits!" your adjutant proudly reports.
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"Good work! Pre-e-pare!"
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>Personnel of the battle stations is in a hurry, reloading the magnificent pieces of technology.
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>Truly a great sight.
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>"Cor-nel!"
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"Eh"
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>"LIE DOWN!"
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>The next second, enemy high-disperser explodes ten foot above your fort.
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>Your adjutant has been hit by one of the fragment, so you rush toward her...
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>...and wipe a bit of snow off her muzzle.
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>Yeah, you weren't expecting this when a brightly-coloured letter ended up in your face via Derpy.
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>Letter was calling "anypony who wants to" to war, so you thought your experience in sheriff's office back in old U. S. of A. would help.
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>It didn't, though.
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>Wars here were only waged in winter and consisted of snowball fights that lasted until one of the sides retreated home; then the winner claimed a bunch of land at the border.
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>And "the General Staff" almost had you arrested for alleged war crimes when you at first supposed you could use Pinkie's party cannon as a weapon.
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Still unnamed
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>On days like these you really think you'll die of laughter some day.
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>Like, really.
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>When the applehorse offered you to be a bartender in their new "adult" (oh, man, her intonation at the time was priceless) bar, you reluctantly agreed.
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>You had some experience as a bartender back on Earth, but in the land of child-like ponies it was going to be something unusual.
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>And God is it unusual.
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>First of all, their "adult" cider doesn't have more alcohol percentage than some root beer; how do they even manage to get it out of the drink?
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>And ponies visiting your fine establishment definitely were watching too much Noir movies...
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>...but they were somehow getting drunk while drinking alcohol-less cider and sugar.
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>But running this place is definitely worth it!
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>After all, you get to set prices (with Apple family supplying you, well, apples and some other ingredients) and you get to watch the stuff happening here every day - win-win.
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>Shadowed door swings open, and a confused young stallion walks in, looking around and finally positioning himself on a stool before you.
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"Good evening, sir, and welcome to the Bad Apple Saloon."
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>AJ chose this name by herself, thinking it'd sound edgy or something.
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>It does, though...to the ponies.
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>Pony before you looks around some more time, visibly kinda scared.
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>"Y-yes, g-good evening..."
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"What can I make you, sir?"
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>"Sorry...I don't know..."
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>You slip him a cocktail list. You always keep some of those around.
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>"Yeah, make me a...Sunset over Canterlot, please."
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>Ah, the good old classic.
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>Sunset over Canterlot is one of the cocktails they've made up before your arrival, with you borrowing the recipe from Manehattan via Rarity.
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>Half a glass of cider and cold thickened cherry juice on top.
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>Somehow it dissolves in cider only partially, creating a range of orange-y colors.
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>Better not to wait with this one, though - as soon as juice warms up, it instantly mixes with cider.
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"Your Sunset, sir."
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>"T-thank you."
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>He takes the glass in his hooves and starts examining it, then inhales loudly and tries to drink all in one sip.
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>After finishing it, he gently sets the glass back and gets a little bit more...confident? Yes, something like that.
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"Would you like something else?"
by Garda
by Garda
by Garda
by Garda
by Garda