Freedom & Commie (By Anon)


                                            1.
                                            
                                                >What's better than 1 pony?

                                            2.
                                            
                                                >Why, 2 ponies!

                                            3.
                                            
                                                >So how could you have resisted the deal?

                                            4.
                                            
                                                >The box in the middle of your room is damaged, kept together by tape and prayer, it keeps shaking and you hear muffled noise from within.

                                            5.
                                            
                                                >You gulp, are they as excited as you for this? You honestly don't know who's inside, perhaps one or two of the mane six? Background pony?

                                            6.
                                            
                                                >Maybe Lyra and Bon Bon?

                                            7.
                                            
                                                >Gah, you can't wait any longer!

                                            8.
                                            
                                                >You open the box and as you do, packing peanuts explode in your face as you jump back in alarm.

                                            9.
                                            
                                                >"We will not fear the red menace!"

                                            10.
                                            
                                                >"Tы cвинья! Tы yпaдeшь!"

                                            11.
                                            
                                                >"Talk properly, I only speak the language of the free market!"

                                            12.
                                            
                                                >"Capitalist pig! Communist is future we will take over. You watch!"

                                            13.
                                            
                                                >Oh God, what?

                                            14.
                                            
                                                >Two little mares wrestle out of the box.

                                            15.
                                            
                                                >"HA, Communism is the very definition of failure!"

                                            16.
                                            
                                                >You stand there as they keep ineffectually roughhousing.

                                            17.
                                            
                                                >You don't know these characters, how could you? One's completely red with a golden mane and an hammer and sickle cutiemark and the other, Jesus Christ the other...

                                            18.
                                            
                                                >She's red, white and blue, you're not sure if it counts as a mark if it covers the entire legs but you feel a need to salute.

                                            19.
                                            
                                                >"Ten years Gulag!"

                                            20.
                                            
                                                "What is this"

                                            21.
                                            
                                                >The two mares stop bickering as they realize you're there.

                                            22.
                                            
                                                >"Hello."

                                            23.
                                            
                                                >"Zdravstvuyte, tovarishch!"

                                            24.
                                            
                                                "Who the hell are you?"

                                            25.
                                            
                                                >You ask absentmindedly in confusion.

                                            26.
                                            
                                                >The ponies untangle themselves from each other while glaring each other down.

                                            27.

                                            28.
                                            
                                                >"I'm Freedom, friend, here to fight for truth, justice and the American way."

                                            29.
                                            
                                                >"Commie--" The red one starts before the Uncle Sam one sniggers.

                                            30.
                                            
                                                >"Yes you are!"

                                            31.
                                            
                                                >Red ignores this for now "I am Commie, tovarishch, here to liberate proletariat from clutch of Bourgeoisie!"

                                            32.
                                            
                                                >"You mean enslave the proletariat."

                                            33.
                                            
                                                >"Rich coming from dirty capitalist who nickel and dime the poor worker so that richer become richer."

                                            34.
                                            
                                                >You facepalm

                                            35.
                                            
                                                "What did I just waste my money on?"

                                            36.
                                            
                                                >"You mean OUR money, eh, tovarishch?"

                                            37.
                                            
                                                >"Attempting to seize the means of production in MY American Soil!?"

                                            38.
                                            
                                                >Freedom tackles Commie and begins another bout.

                                            39.
                                            
                                                >Okay, this needs to stop.

                                            40.
                                            
                                                >You pull them off each other and pick them up in each arm.

                                            41.
                                            
                                                "You listen to me, I payed good money for some pony friends, and if there's one thing I know about friendship is that you don't talk politics if you intend to keep them. So this stops now, under my roof I am God, understand little ponies?"

                                            42.
                                            
                                                >"In God we trust!"

                                            43.
                                            
                                                >"Atheism is only allowed system under glorious communistic regime."

                                            44.
                                            
                                                "I will send you to my personal gulag, so help me."

                                            45.
                                            
                                                >"Of course, tovarishch!"

                                            46.
                                            
                                                "So you will drop this right now and behave, because I'm getting my damn money's worth so you will learn to live with each other or I swear I'm cutting the both of you loose. You wanna know what happens to ponies who get cut loose?"

                                            47.
                                            
                                                >They slowly nod their heads.

                                            48.
                                            
                                                "You don't wanna know what happens to ponies who get cut loose."

                                            49.
                                            
                                                >You shake your head and they follow suit.

                                            50.
                                            
                                                >You put the ponies down and excuse yourself to take a piss.

                                            51.

                                            52.
                                            
                                                >

                                            53.

                                            54.
                                            
                                                >The room is silent as the two mares glare at each other.

                                            55.
                                            
                                                >"Just so you know, death is a preferable alternative to communism but I'm not going down because you mess up."

                                            56.
                                            
                                                >"T'che, we fight the good fight. but... кoммyнизм нe мoжeт yпacть c нaми..."

                                            57.
                                            
                                                >After the warning from the man, the house was split into two -- East and West. This marked the beginning of the era called the Cold War.