Freedom & Commie (By Anon)


                                            >What's better than 1 pony?

                                            >Why, 2 ponies!

                                            >So how could you have resisted the deal?

                                            >The box in the middle of your room is damaged, kept together by tape and prayer, it keeps shaking and you hear muffled noise from within.

                                            >You gulp, are they as excited as you for this? You honestly don't know who's inside, perhaps one or two of the mane six? Background pony?

                                            >Maybe Lyra and Bon Bon?

                                            >Gah, you can't wait any longer!

                                            >You open the box and as you do, packing peanuts explode in your face as you jump back in alarm.

                                            >"We will not fear the red menace!"

                                            >"Tы cвинья! Tы yпaдeшь!"

                                            >"Talk properly, I only speak the language of the free market!"

                                            >"Capitalist pig! Communist is future we will take over. You watch!"

                                            >Oh God, what?

                                            >Two little mares wrestle out of the box.

                                            >"HA, Communism is the very definition of failure!"

                                            >You stand there as they keep ineffectually roughhousing.

                                            >You don't know these characters, how could you? One's completely red with a golden mane and an hammer and sickle cutiemark and the other, Jesus Christ the other...

                                            >She's red, white and blue, you're not sure if it counts as a mark if it covers the entire legs but you feel a need to salute.

                                            >"Ten years Gulag!"

                                            "What is this"

                                            >The two mares stop bickering as they realize you're there.

                                            >"Hello."

                                            >"Zdravstvuyte, tovarishch!"

                                            "Who the hell are you?"

                                            >You ask absentmindedly in confusion.

                                            >The ponies untangle themselves from each other while glaring each other down.


                                            >"I'm Freedom, friend, here to fight for truth, justice and the American way."

                                            >"Commie--" The red one starts before the Uncle Sam one sniggers.

                                            >"Yes you are!"

                                            >Red ignores this for now "I am Commie, tovarishch, here to liberate proletariat from clutch of Bourgeoisie!"

                                            >"You mean enslave the proletariat."

                                            >"Rich coming from dirty capitalist who nickel and dime the poor worker so that richer become richer."

                                            >You facepalm

                                            "What did I just waste my money on?"

                                            >"You mean OUR money, eh, tovarishch?"

                                            >"Attempting to seize the means of production in MY American Soil!?"

                                            >Freedom tackles Commie and begins another bout.

                                            >Okay, this needs to stop.

                                            >You pull them off each other and pick them up in each arm.

                                            "You listen to me, I payed good money for some pony friends, and if there's one thing I know about friendship is that you don't talk politics if you intend to keep them. So this stops now, under my roof I am God, understand little ponies?"

                                            >"In God we trust!"

                                            >"Atheism is only allowed system under glorious communistic regime."

                                            "I will send you to my personal gulag, so help me."

                                            >"Of course, tovarishch!"

                                            "So you will drop this right now and behave, because I'm getting my damn money's worth so you will learn to live with each other or I swear I'm cutting the both of you loose. You wanna know what happens to ponies who get cut loose?"

                                            >They slowly nod their heads.

                                            "You don't wanna know what happens to ponies who get cut loose."

                                            >You shake your head and they follow suit.

                                            >You put the ponies down and excuse yourself to take a piss.


                                            >


                                            >The room is silent as the two mares glare at each other.

                                            >"Just so you know, death is a preferable alternative to communism but I'm not going down because you mess up."

                                            >"T'che, we fight the good fight. but... кoммyнизм нe мoжeт yпacть c нaми..."

                                            >After the warning from the man, the house was split into two -- East and West. This marked the beginning of the era called the Cold War.