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Freedom & Commie (By Anon)

By afterpaste
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-05-19 04:44:17
Expiry: Never

  1. >What's better than 1 pony?
  2. >Why, 2 ponies!
  3. >So how could you have resisted the deal?
  4. >The box in the middle of your room is damaged, kept together by tape and prayer, it keeps shaking and you hear muffled noise from within.
  5. >You gulp, are they as excited as you for this? You honestly don't know who's inside, perhaps one or two of the mane six? Background pony?
  6. >Maybe Lyra and Bon Bon?
  7. >Gah, you can't wait any longer!
  8. >You open the box and as you do, packing peanuts explode in your face as you jump back in alarm.
  9. >"We will not fear the red menace!"
  10. >"Tы cвинья! Tы yпaдeшь!"
  11. >"Talk properly, I only speak the language of the free market!"
  12. >"Capitalist pig! Communist is future we will take over. You watch!"
  13. >Oh God, what?
  14. >Two little mares wrestle out of the box.
  15. >"HA, Communism is the very definition of failure!"
  16. >You stand there as they keep ineffectually roughhousing.
  17. >You don't know these characters, how could you? One's completely red with a golden mane and an hammer and sickle cutiemark and the other, Jesus Christ the other...
  18. >She's red, white and blue, you're not sure if it counts as a mark if it covers the entire legs but you feel a need to salute.
  19. >"Ten years Gulag!"
  20. "What is this"
  21. >The two mares stop bickering as they realize you're there.
  22. >"Hello."
  23. >"Zdravstvuyte, tovarishch!"
  24. "Who the hell are you?"
  25. >You ask absentmindedly in confusion.
  26. >The ponies untangle themselves from each other while glaring each other down.
  27.  
  28. >"I'm Freedom, friend, here to fight for truth, justice and the American way."
  29. >"Commie--" The red one starts before the Uncle Sam one sniggers.
  30. >"Yes you are!"
  31. >Red ignores this for now "I am Commie, tovarishch, here to liberate proletariat from clutch of Bourgeoisie!"
  32. >"You mean enslave the proletariat."
  33. >"Rich coming from dirty capitalist who nickel and dime the poor worker so that richer become richer."
  34. >You facepalm
  35. "What did I just waste my money on?"
  36. >"You mean OUR money, eh, tovarishch?"
  37. >"Attempting to seize the means of production in MY American Soil!?"
  38. >Freedom tackles Commie and begins another bout.
  39. >Okay, this needs to stop.
  40. >You pull them off each other and pick them up in each arm.
  41. "You listen to me, I payed good money for some pony friends, and if there's one thing I know about friendship is that you don't talk politics if you intend to keep them. So this stops now, under my roof I am God, understand little ponies?"
  42. >"In God we trust!"
  43. >"Atheism is only allowed system under glorious communistic regime."
  44. "I will send you to my personal gulag, so help me."
  45. >"Of course, tovarishch!"
  46. "So you will drop this right now and behave, because I'm getting my damn money's worth so you will learn to live with each other or I swear I'm cutting the both of you loose. You wanna know what happens to ponies who get cut loose?"
  47. >They slowly nod their heads.
  48. "You don't wanna know what happens to ponies who get cut loose."
  49. >You shake your head and they follow suit.
  50. >You put the ponies down and excuse yourself to take a piss.
  51.  
  52. >
  53.  
  54. >The room is silent as the two mares glare at each other.
  55. >"Just so you know, death is a preferable alternative to communism but I'm not going down because you mess up."
  56. >"T'che, we fight the good fight. but... кoммyнизм нe мoжeт yпacть c нaми..."
  57. >After the warning from the man, the house was split into two -- East and West. This marked the beginning of the era called the Cold War.

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