Counting with Bump (By Anon)


                                            >”One!”

                                            >”Whaaaaaa-nah!”

                                            >”Two!”

                                            >”Tooooooooohh-“

                                            >You stop playing Dying light, to the sound of counting coming from your kitchen.

                                            “Cricket....”

                                            >You get up to go investigate.

                                            >You head for the source of the counting, and find it’s coming from Cricket, Thun, and your newest “G5” Pony bootleg “Bump”.

                                            “What’s going on here?”

                                            >Cricket looks at you, her wings glittering like a kid who got caught stealing cookies.

                                            >Thun as usual is staring at her favorite picture of the “pwetty thun “.

                                            >”W-we’re just playing monopoly! I was helping Bump count her cash since I landed on her space!”

                                            “Is that so...?”

                                            >Bump grins.

                                            >”I count to ten! Whaaaaaa-nah! Tuh-oooooooooh!

                                            Thre->>36698480!”

                                            >”No! No! No! That’s not right!”

                                            >Upon further inspection, despite Bump’s difficulties with counting, Cricket is actually cheating.”

                                            >You cock an eyebrow at her.

                                            >”U-uhhh...”

                                            “Cricket...”

                                            >”W-well-“

                                            “Stop cheating or no “Shickkun Nuggies”.”

                                            >”No! Not the nuggies! I hate them!”


                                            >”No! You’re speaking nonsense! That’s what it means!”

                                            >”No! It’s for tell time! ”

                                            >You stop looking up ways to raid /R9k/ with G5 pony memes to a heated argument taking place in the living room.

                                            >With a sigh, you get up from your seat to investigate.

                                            >Cricket, and Bump are facing off, practically touching snoots.

                                            “What are you two doing out here?”

                                            >Cricket buzzes angrily.

                                            >”Bump is being stupid! Everything she says makes no sense! It’s a load of COCK!”

                                            >You double-take at her potty mouth, but before you can respond, Bump chimes in.

                                            >”She wrong! She want to know time so I say look at COCK!”

                                            “CRICKET! BUMP! What’re you saying??”

                                            >The black bootleg changeling queen points an accusing hoof at bump.

                                            >”Tell her she’s wrong! When you say something nonsensical it’s a COCK. A big ol dumb Cock!”

                                            “Uh-“

                                            >”No! It is for the time telling! You look at the cock! You no see time? Put your face against the cock!”

                                            >They wrestle, while you pinch the bridge of your nose.

                                            “You’re both wrong. Also you’re saying something really naughty.”

                                            >Both look at you with shocked eyes.

                                            “Where did you even learn this word from-you haven’t been browsing that mandarin cow sweater knitting forum again, have you?”

                                            >Both girls start to sweat beads of guilt.

                                            “Bump...Cricket....!”

                                            >”It was Thun! She told us!”

                                            >”Yes! Yes! She all about cock! Cock this, and cock that!”

                                            >You look at Thun, who’s focusing on coloring a picture of the sun.

                                            >You look back at the two with an unconvinced curled lip.

                                            “....How many times do I have to teach you this lesson-PRINCESS THUN?!?”

                                            >”Th-Thun?”