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1688 9.84 KB 128
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Hey hey ponies, sseth here
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>I've made good investments. Smart Investments.
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>Did you ever wanted to be a vegetarian so badly, You'd eat a burger made with straw and paint your kitchen green with vomit?
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>Have you ever tried pursuing a wholesome and loving relationship only to receive a fine and 5 years probation?
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>Have you ever wondered what you could do with a jar?
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>If you answered yes to any of those questions, than do I have the board for you.
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>/mlp/
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>a gathering place for some of societies brightest, poets, artists, and scientists,
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>While at the same time creating some of the most depraved and lewd creations.
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>It is purgatory with two faces, with only a entrance and no hope for an exit.
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>Truly amazing.
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>But what is end goal of /mlp/?
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>Ascension to reach your mare, whether through technological engineering, cryogenic preservation, or creating a soul of your own.
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>But only a precious few are capable of such ability.
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>"Seth," You may ask, "How does the rest even hope to achieving that same level of success?"
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>(You)'s
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>A magical currency of acknowledgement that powers both the ego and psyche of each post made.
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>The more you collect, the more your presence shines through the scattered veil of reality and beyond.
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>But be careful, how you collect them is just as important.
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>T̫̹͟h̵̠͡e̸͖ͅy̷̱̪'̨̫͓ṛ̶͝e̪̰ ̪̳ẁ̛̜a͎̝͉t̨͕͡c̭̜̜h̡͍͍i͕̟͡n̺͠ͅg̪͘͝.
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>But how do you get these (You)s?
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>It's simple. Make posts that get people invested and replying
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>How is up to you, but I'll give you some hints
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>Just posting won't cut it if you want to reach the big leagues. You need to do some advanced posting for that
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>There's two routes
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>Firstly, make consistently quality posts. Make the other anons feel strongly, and they'll reward you with (You)s for bringing feeling into their cold, dead souls, if just for a moment. Humor, sadness, lust, it doesn't matter
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>But that's hard
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>Secondly, make consistently terrible posts
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>And I'm talking Canada-tier
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>Shittalk people's waifus
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>Post in the wrong generals
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>Say good things about Season 9
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>Do anything to get people so mad at you that they can't stop themselves from replying, and watch the (You)s roll in
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>The answer should be obvious to which one I personally recommend
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>A quick message from our sponsor, Raycon: Shadow Legends.
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>Thanks to a pursuit of certain culinary delicacies, everyone now has to spend indoors.
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>And if you're home is anything like mine, than you must also have plywood walls and a neighbor upstairs who owns a trampoline.
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>Now's a good time to be courteous neighbor and join the fight against noise pollution.
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>Instead of role playing a Venezuelan bread line in the rain, get these wireless headphones.
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>It's able to cancel out noise, so you'll be able to relax and not be disturbed by the local meth addicts scraping against your wall.
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>I usually like to listen to Fluttershy ASMR sound files while I'm working on these scripts.
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>The quality is so good, it feels like I'm actually getting molested.
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>Insert the code to get 15% off your next order, and get 5 complimentary ASMR sound files of any mares of your choice.
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>What are you waiting for?
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>It's the biggest thing everyone is talking about this season.
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>Factions.
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>Ok, I'll admit it, there's no such things as factions here, because everyone is ready to engage in internet blood sports the moment they disagree on who is a good pony, what is canon, and what is the ideal life style.
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>Get into a heated conversation and before you know it, you're up till 4 the debating metaphysics and economics on a thread about pairing a man and a pony together.
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>If there is any group with some sense of unity, it is the moderators.
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>Who are these elusive figures?
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>no one knows.
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>What do they do?
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>I never bothered to learn, I just know that they always delete porn before I get the chance to download it myself.
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>Here's a quick hint.
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>See something don't like on /mlp/?
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>Maybe you could help sweep the board clean of disgusting trash by reporting it.
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>Good idea!
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>Maybe after several hours of deleting porn, the mods will investigate it thoroughly and declare after hours of deliberation that it did not violate any rules.
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>Better yet, you can hide it.
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>Don't reply to it.
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>The (you)'s only empowers it and allow itself to linger as well as burn into the retina's of the poor souls who gaze upon its gaping mass.
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>Don't let it pierce through the veil of this reality and taint the beyond.
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>Do your duty.
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>Ignore, and let it rot away by itself.
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>Since it's every shitposter for himself, I'll do the best of my abilities to describe the type of characters you'll probably meet by going over the boards they browse.
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>My Little Progress: Technology isn't Magic
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>The gathering place of big brains.
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>No brainlets allowed.
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>This thread is about uplifting Equestrian society through the advancement of technology, whether it be through the introduction of Human science, or ponies dragging themselves up through trial and error.
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>They envision an Equestria capable of pushing the boundaries that magic could never touch and explore new wonders.
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>Or they can exploit their well of knowledge and create new industries within a life time and become a tech mogul that rivals the ruling class.
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>It can even be as simple as to extend the precious years of your life just you could have more cuddle sessions, whether through artificial skin, or metallic bionics.
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>It has its detractors.
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>Posters who decry industrialization and irreparable change.
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>They then blather on about isolation, to spare Equestria from Humanity.
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>Ignore them, or make fun of them.
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>These are the very same people who breath through clenched teeth because they're afraid of swallowing a dust mite.
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>No one cares.
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>But do you know what thread really doesn't care?
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>The Slave Pony Thread.
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>They acknowledge that slavery is wrong, but they'd continue it anyway, because they believe that Humanity should be above everyone else in society.
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>What a bunch of lads.
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>It's only when it comes to the bedroom that they don't mind being below, behind, flipped, or in front if they're feeling kinky.
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>One of their favorite hobbies is buying extravagant collars for pet/wives.
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>But out of all the threads, there is nothing more extreme than the radical thread, Nothing More Pure (NMP).
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>Filled to the brim with moral crusaders and relationship extremists that will fight tooth and nail for a wholesome monogamous relationship.
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>All in the name of their prophet, Mi Amore "Can't stop this" Cadenza.
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>If you're looking for something more comedic with anime levels of deus ex machina, why not try the Princess Applejack threads?
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>Starting out from a love of the most honest background pony
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>As Applejack is at least half-way competent, the dictator Celestia decides as the least retarded of the Mane 6, she'll make this simple farmer into a full-on Princess
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>Absolutely nothing can go wrong
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>Except...
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>It does
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>Eventually things devolve to OC donut steel changelings and endless battles between changeling queens and changeling hives
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>Did I mention changelings?
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>It's, uh, probably best to drop this general after the first 100 threads or so
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>It'll save your sanity
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>Maybe you'd like something more wholesome and heartwarming?
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>Come on down to the Reversed Gender Role Equestria thread, where the men are women, the women are still mostly women, and autism really runs uncontrolled.
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>Do you like world building, polygamy centered around males, a traditional family, and having fem-simps at your beck and call for no reason other than you're different and have a dick? This, is the place for you.
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>Here you can pretend to be a househusband that is loved by your hardworking wives and many children, who are pure and value you for who you are.
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>...Look, it's wish fulfillment. It's not going to be realistic.
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>Anyway! It's not just ponies this little patchwork universe is limited to. You got:
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>Griffins, merchants who have been kicked out of 109 countries for no real reason other than their hosts are bigots. Don't worry griffins. I know that pain too.
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>Saddle Arabians, who stone stallions in the street for not wearing their burkas and insist there is one gender, because males are property. A very forward thinking people.
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>Bat Ponies, who have ass and titties for days and an incurable thirst for dick. Just... don't try any soup they offer. You see how that worked out for us.
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>Minotaurs, who are just fetish material for the very loud hyper breast crowd.
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>Changelings, face-stealing rapists.
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>Diamond Dogs, unwashed, inbred rapists.
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>Dragons, giant, pelvis annihilating rapists. Really is a female fantasy reversed huh?
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>And more.
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>It's a thread that makes you feel. Fell what, you might ask?
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>Makes you feel real fuckin' sad when you leave back to your lonely life with no loving wives, no perfect kids, a cold bed devoid of said wives and children, and a shitty, underpaying job awaiting you in the morning
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>But remember boys. Women, still have it tougher than you. You could never do as they do and enjoy it.
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>Remember Habbo hotel? Everyone Does.
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>have you ever wanted to pretend that you were raiding Habbo hotel as a pastel colored equine?
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>drop down into the Pony Town threads and make your dreams come true
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>make your horse, find your comrades, and keep the docks closed to the red furry menace
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>participate in factionalism, internet relationship drama, and an ethnic cleansing of the local furry population.
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>As an added bonus, you can send death threats to children with no repercussions.
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>sorry furfags, the docks are closed due to aids. Buck jannies, buck griffons, and buck ziggers.
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>if you're based enough and manage to convince them you're not from reddit, they might even add your horse to one of the pony town tapestries.
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>As always, more content to come, so stay tuned
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>A warm thanks to the many members of the Merchant's Guild
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>Generously funding and bankrolling these videos
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>You're all truly wonderful
by Ryperiour2
by Ryperiour2
by Ryperiour2
by Ryperiour2
by Ryperiour2