Coffeeholic(2016): Adventures of Anontonio: Day 0 [discont.]


                                            The following "Adventures of Anontonio in Equestria" is a story for Dadonequus threads or Discord Dad General on /mlp/


                                            >day cazzo you had an accident and are regaining consciousness

                                            >be Anontonio

                                            >boy does your head hurt

                                            >your mama always told you that you should wear a helmet when driving on your Vespa in the hills

                                            >but you didn't listen, you're no bambino

                                            >you always preferred your flatcap anyways

                                            >"Little -olt, ---tle colt! Ohhh, I -ope he's a-rig--..."

                                            >some soft spoken angel's voice is calling out to you

                                            >wait, that's not Italian

                                            >owch, ayyy

                                            >nevermind the head, your everything hurts

                                            >at least it means you survived

                                            >you're not in the next life yet

                                            >"-alm do-n dear -lutt-rshy, ou- little guest -eems t- be commin- too."

                                            >another foreign, yet quirky voice responds

                                            >you begin to recognize some of those words

                                            >you half-assed your way through English classes in high school

                                            >you faintly start to put together the cause of the accident in your head

                                            >you where on the job delivering pizza

                                            >out of nowhere while driving you were blinded by some oval shaped light and then nothing

                                            >foreigners must of blinded you with their high beams and hit you with their car

                                            >no way you'll be able to collect on that tip now

                                            >...

                                            >damn tourists

                                            >you faintly hear munching sounds followed by the quirky voice again

                                            >"Ah but Fluttershy, look the picnic isn't ALL ruined. Forget about the colt for a moment and try some of this pizza! It's thin and toasty with a delicious unique pungent flavor."

                                            >your hearing becomes clearer

                                            >pizza?

                                            >after suffering through an accident, these foreigners are enjoying YOUR delivery

                                            >like hell were you going to stand for that without payment

                                            >"Now Discord, I hardly--"

                                            >you cut off the angel before she could rebuke

                                            >your eyelids angrily force open and you, in your best english you can muster shout

                                            "LETTA GO OV MAI PIZZA, TIEVS!"

                                            >10/10, surely you got your message across

                                            >You see before you what you can only imagine are are a pair of pastel colored pupazzos looking down at you with a pastel colored sky just above

                                            >one of a shocked horse and the other, a smug snake-like being

                                            >probably stiched with whatever spare parts the plushie factory had left over and still munching on YOUR pizza

                                            >...

                                            >you think you're either hallucinating from some heavy medication after the accident or that you're trapped in one very strange nightmare

                                            >you notice something pastel colored covering your nose and you reach out to touch it with your hand

                                            >but instead you see this flat circular fluffy nub howeveing from the extension of your now fluffy pastel colored arm

                                            "Auurgh!"

                                            >you yelp in horror as you instinctively bring your other hand to bare with your face only to realize that another nub appears and you yelp once more

                                            "Aaaauuurghhh!!"

                                            >you focus on getting your upper body up form your laid down back position to get a better look at yourself

                                            >"W-we didn't mean to-"

                                            >you instinctively cut off angel horse in another yelp as you observe your body

                                            "Aaaruuughhhaghhrr!?!"

                                            >your legs have the same nubs at the end instead of feet

                                            >you have a tail currently covering your privates which you REALLY don't want to think about right now

                                            >you have these two feathery appendages sticking out of your back, wings?

                                            >your face has some sort of muzzle and you're fluffy all over

                                            >never in your wildest dreams have you ever thought you could get THIS hairy, or so you thought

                                            >what are you supposed to be, some kind of magical talking donkey plush?!

                                            >you begin to shake

                                            >"Now now, no need to get rude little one. If you "really" want it back, you can have it."

                                            >you just notice the Trogdor look-a-like with an ass's head is sitting on a pastel shaded vespa

                                            >a vespa that eerily resembles the one you use to deliver pizza right down to the decals and pizza boxes

                                            >you then watch in shock as it regurgitates the pizza it ate onto it's lion's paw and the slice rematerializes as if it was never chewed to begin with

                                            >you cringe as you watch it put the slice back into one of the open pizza boxes and ass-face speaks up again

                                            >"There, was that so bad?"

                                            >mortal men like you were not meant to witness such things

                                            >you can't wake up

                                            >you can't unsee

                                            >you want off this hell

                                            "AAAAUUUURRGHHURAAAHHH!?!!"

                                            >you yell one last time and pass out


                                            Bonus to my readers: A fellow writer, Erf made a Vocaroo of the end of this chapter. I had a good laugh listening to my own writing red, so I though I'd share it. Link here: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0JN9mEWCUmv