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Coffeeholic(2016): Adventures of Anontonio: Day 0 [discont.]

By dadonequus_archives
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-06-21 18:54:37
Expiry: Never
/dad/

  1. 1.
    The following "Adventures of Anontonio in Equestria" is a story for Dadonequus threads or Discord Dad General on /mlp/
  2. 2.
     
  3. 3.
    >day cazzo you had an accident and are regaining consciousness
  4. 4.
    >be Anontonio
  5. 5.
    >boy does your head hurt
  6. 6.
    >your mama always told you that you should wear a helmet when driving on your Vespa in the hills
  7. 7.
    >but you didn't listen, you're no bambino
  8. 8.
    >you always preferred your flatcap anyways
  9. 9.
    >"Little -olt, ---tle colt! Ohhh, I -ope he's a-rig--..."
  10. 10.
    >some soft spoken angel's voice is calling out to you
  11. 11.
    >wait, that's not Italian
  12. 12.
    >owch, ayyy
  13. 13.
    >nevermind the head, your everything hurts
  14. 14.
    >at least it means you survived
  15. 15.
    >you're not in the next life yet
  16. 16.
    >"-alm do-n dear -lutt-rshy, ou- little guest -eems t- be commin- too."
  17. 17.
    >another foreign, yet quirky voice responds
  18. 18.
    >you begin to recognize some of those words
  19. 19.
    >you half-assed your way through English classes in high school
  20. 20.
    >you faintly start to put together the cause of the accident in your head
  21. 21.
    >you where on the job delivering pizza
  22. 22.
    >out of nowhere while driving you were blinded by some oval shaped light and then nothing
  23. 23.
    >foreigners must of blinded you with their high beams and hit you with their car
  24. 24.
    >no way you'll be able to collect on that tip now
  25. 25.
    >...
  26. 26.
    >damn tourists
  27. 27.
    >you faintly hear munching sounds followed by the quirky voice again
  28. 28.
    >"Ah but Fluttershy, look the picnic isn't ALL ruined. Forget about the colt for a moment and try some of this pizza! It's thin and toasty with a delicious unique pungent flavor."
  29. 29.
    >your hearing becomes clearer
  30. 30.
    >pizza?
  31. 31.
    >after suffering through an accident, these foreigners are enjoying YOUR delivery
  32. 32.
    >like hell were you going to stand for that without payment
  33. 33.
    >"Now Discord, I hardly--"
  34. 34.
    >you cut off the angel before she could rebuke
  35. 35.
    >your eyelids angrily force open and you, in your best english you can muster shout
  36. 36.
    "LETTA GO OV MAI PIZZA, TIEVS!"
  37. 37.
    >10/10, surely you got your message across
  38. 38.
    >You see before you what you can only imagine are are a pair of pastel colored pupazzos looking down at you with a pastel colored sky just above
  39. 39.
    >one of a shocked horse and the other, a smug snake-like being
  40. 40.
    >probably stiched with whatever spare parts the plushie factory had left over and still munching on YOUR pizza
  41. 41.
    >...
  42. 42.
    >you think you're either hallucinating from some heavy medication after the accident or that you're trapped in one very strange nightmare
  43. 43.
    >you notice something pastel colored covering your nose and you reach out to touch it with your hand
  44. 44.
    >but instead you see this flat circular fluffy nub howeveing from the extension of your now fluffy pastel colored arm
  45. 45.
    "Auurgh!"
  46. 46.
    >you yelp in horror as you instinctively bring your other hand to bare with your face only to realize that another nub appears and you yelp once more
  47. 47.
    "Aaaauuurghhh!!"
  48. 48.
    >you focus on getting your upper body up form your laid down back position to get a better look at yourself
  49. 49.
    >"W-we didn't mean to-"
  50. 50.
    >you instinctively cut off angel horse in another yelp as you observe your body
  51. 51.
    "Aaaruuughhhaghhrr!?!"
  52. 52.
    >your legs have the same nubs at the end instead of feet
  53. 53.
    >you have a tail currently covering your privates which you REALLY don't want to think about right now
  54. 54.
    >you have these two feathery appendages sticking out of your back, wings?
  55. 55.
    >your face has some sort of muzzle and you're fluffy all over
  56. 56.
    >never in your wildest dreams have you ever thought you could get THIS hairy, or so you thought
  57. 57.
    >what are you supposed to be, some kind of magical talking donkey plush?!
  58. 58.
    >you begin to shake
  59. 59.
    >"Now now, no need to get rude little one. If you "really" want it back, you can have it."
  60. 60.
    >you just notice the Trogdor look-a-like with an ass's head is sitting on a pastel shaded vespa
  61. 61.
    >a vespa that eerily resembles the one you use to deliver pizza right down to the decals and pizza boxes
  62. 62.
    >you then watch in shock as it regurgitates the pizza it ate onto it's lion's paw and the slice rematerializes as if it was never chewed to begin with
  63. 63.
    >you cringe as you watch it put the slice back into one of the open pizza boxes and ass-face speaks up again
  64. 64.
    >"There, was that so bad?"
  65. 65.
    >mortal men like you were not meant to witness such things
  66. 66.
    >you can't wake up
  67. 67.
    >you can't unsee
  68. 68.
    >you want off this hell
  69. 69.
    "AAAAUUUURRGHHURAAAHHH!?!!"
  70. 70.
    >you yell one last time and pass out
  71. 71.
     
  72. 72.
    Bonus to my readers: A fellow writer, Erf made a Vocaroo of the end of this chapter. I had a good laugh listening to my own writing red, so I though I'd share it. Link here: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0JN9mEWCUmv

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