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Call of Anon: Kinder Warfare 2

By Guest
Created: 27th August 2021 03:32:55 AM
3rd December 2021 12:41:20 PM

  1. “Don’t get me wrong, Pinkie, Anon is a wonderful friend!”
  2. >”Buuuuut?”
  3. “But sometimes he… He’s like you! Sometimes he goes into these trances and forgets about his friends!”
  4. >”Then, why don’t you just fix him like you did with me, silly!”
  5. >You and Pinkie Pie turn the corner into your kitchen and you spot him.
  6. >The same stance and spot you left him.
  7. “That’s the thing, Pinkie. He’s not *sad*. He still knows we’re his friends. It’s like he’s here but not at the same time! I don’t know how to describe it…”
  8. >Both of you look at the human crouched in the corner.
  9. >He somehow strapped an entire table top to his arm and is huddled in a corner mumbling.
  10. >He also moved the fridge to be behind him in the corner.
  11. >You can just see his eyes through the hole he punched through the table.
  12. >Actually that’s a very big hole. You can see his entire panicked face through it.
  13. >This time his phrase isn’t one you recognize.
  14. >”I am /not/ a pussy if I use riot shield. I am /not/ a pussy if I use riot shield. I am /not/ a…”
  15. >Poor Anon is breathing the same way you used to before a big test only he’s much more intensely staring at nothing in particular and having serious cold sweats.
  16. >It pains you to see a friend in such pain, but what options did you have?
  17. >Nurse Redheart didn’t know where to begin and all of your trials and tests have failed!
  18. >The only step left was writing Celestia herself.
  19. >You sure hope Pinkie can snap him out of it.
  20. >Speaking of, Pinkie Pie has since approached Anon and was peering over his “shield”.
  21.  
  22. >You are currently holding your ground against an onslaught of gunfire.
  23. >You’re also Private Anon, in the 1st Battalion of the 75th Ranger Regiment.
  24. >”Hiyaaa ‘Nonners, what’cha doin’?”
  25. >Finally a friendly face!
  26. >You don’t know how General Shepherd-Pie found you, why she’s here or whatever happened to that guy she picked for her special taskforce but you’re glad she’s here!
  27. “General, I’m protecting codename Raptor. He’s safe in the fridge while we’re waiting for extraction.”
  28. >You can hear the heavy mechanical groaning and thumping of a BTR outside.
  29. >This wasn’t looking good.
  30. >Maybe that’s why General Shepherd-Pie was here. Maybe the situation was more dire than you thought.
  31. >Maybe the sound outside just now wasn’t Rainbow Dash rushing home but Russian jets making passes over your building.
  32. >Allowing the General past she quickly opens the fridge door and lets out a shrill gasp.
  33. >It causes you to turn. Did he not survive his wounds? Was the mission a failure?
  34. >Before your heart can sink the General keeps it afloat when she says,
  35. >”Gummy! There you are! You are in BIIIIG trouble, mister! Anon doesn’t know you’re banned from raiding Twilights fridge!”
  36. >You let out a sigh of deep relief. Raptor was clearly okay as the General held him out towards you.
  37. >”Anon, I need you to escort Gummy back to Sugar Cube Corner. And don’t let him in the fridge!”
  38. >You nod and accept Raptor.
  39. “Let’s get out of here before those fast-ones make another pass!”
  40. >Sprinting to the door you can see Sgt. Twily standing there dumbfounded.
  41. >How she was a sergeant before you you’ll never understand.
  42. >You and Corporal Spike do EVERYTHING around here!
  43.  
  44. >You were currently standing dumbfounded.
  45. >Somehow PINKIE had conversation with ANON in the middle of his fit!
  46. >You facehoof.
  47. >WHY did you expect anything else to happen?
  48. >WHY did Gummy eat EVERYTHING in the fridge?
  49. >Pinkie is about to hop past in her usual manner before she stops just next to you.
  50. >”He’s not like me, Twilight. He’s like Dashie! Instead of learning differently he just sees differently!”
  51. >She hops off after Anon and you can hear the door slam behind her.
  52. >You can’t help but giggle at the realization.
  53. >Maybe Pinkie was onto something.

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