Half-Assed and Bootlegged (Panka Po) (By Writefagwrises)


                                            >Be Anon, man of tomorrow

                                            >Specifically, the date is XX/XX/20XX, X:XX PM

                                            >Because fuck specificity

                                            >But never-mind, genetic engineering's become popular enough to hit the civilian market!

                                            >Among the corporations looking to capitalize on this exciting tech is Hasbro, with genetically engineered little ponies.

                                            >Would be cool, you could finally have a cute mare to love forever, but there is the problem of price

                                            >You aren't paying off some exec's private moon colony to get a pony, it's just not something you can afford

                                            >So that's a bit of a pisser, but you found a company in Hong Kong that makes bootleg ponies

                                            >Not sure how that works, but the pictures looked promising and the price was right, so you sent them your money and they bootlegged up a pony to send back

                                            >Now, on this date, she has arrived

                                            >You stand in front of the plain cardboard box, anxious to rip it open and get to the pony inside.

                                            >Knife in hand, you cut the tape keeping the box shut, and gingerly open up the top.

                                            >And bursting from out of the box is...

                                            >"Hello human. I am quality pony of great significance, it is please to meet you."

                                            >A pony, you guess?

                                            >Her, it sounds like a her, head is completely wrong, a sort of bullet shape with all of the bits of a face slapped on

                                            >More resembling an actual equine rather than the cute little pony you were promised, honestly.

                                            >Additionally, ger mane is limited and has no volume or bounce to it, instead hanging limply on one side of her neck and leaving her head bare.

                                            >Oh yeah and there's also the fact that she has no ears and very noticeable stitches

                                            >They don't even look like they're in as some sort of temporary medical measure, they look like they're a permanant part of her body.

                                            >So, overall, you aren't particularly impressed.

                                            >In fact, you might even say you're feeling disappointing, robbed, even.

                                            >Those fucking chinamen sold you a hack job of a mare.

                                            >Good for nothing-

                                            >Wait, how long have you just been silently staring at this pony with a look of pure dissapointment?

                                            >Long enough that the smile she came out with when she popped out of the box and declared herself to be quality and of great signifigance has fallen in favor of a frown, it seems.

                                            >"You... you are not believe lies yes?"

                                            >Her voice is quiet and saddened, seemingly able to figure out exactly what's going on in your head.

                                            >"I know, I am not quality pony, I am cheap fake pony, not what you want."

                                            >Whelp, not only is she poorly made, she has issues with self-loathing.

                                            >Good job Happy Horeses, LMD

                                            >"Just be rid of me, you think it too."

                                            >She starts trying to move herself to be able to get out of the box, thwarted by the small size of the box itself.

                                            >You move in to help her out.

                                            >Hopefully her craftschinamanship includes being light to save on materials.

                                            >So you lean into the box and manage to get your hands under her torso, and as you lift her you find that, yes, she's pretty light.

                                            >Sure, not feather light, but still probably a bit too light to be made of a good quantity of good quality whatever goes into a genetically engineered pony.

                                            >Whelp, time to get this over with.

                                            >You move her up against your chest to make it easier to carry her.

                                            >She says nothing, resigned to her fate.

                                            >Time to take her to the [spoiler]couch.[/spoiler]

                                            >You set the wonky mare down on the couch and sit next to her.

                                            >She looks at you, confused.

                                            >”Are you not to be rid me?”

                                            “Now, why would I get rid of you?”

                                            >”I am not want by you.”

                                            “I just wanted a pony, and you fit the bill.”

                                            >She perks up at that, hopeful.

                                            >”So, I stay?”

                                            >You lay a hand on the top of her head.

                                            “Yes, you can stay.”

                                            >She quickly moves to show her appreciation, getting under your arm, laying her legs across your lap and nuzzling your chest with the side of her head.

                                            >You know what, even if she is half-assed and bootlegged...

                                            >[bootleg nickering]

                                            >...she's still got the heart of a pony, and she's all yours.

                                            >This ain't so bad.


                                            And they lived cuddly ever after.