Spike's makeover


                                            >You are currently reading the latest issue of Power Ponies, must be because you're Spike the #1 Assistant

                                            >Also a savior of Crystal Empire but who gives a buck… That's right, nopony.

                                            >You just finished helping Twilight move a shelf worth of books all around the castle, only to end up placing them back exactly where they were, because it would be an optimal place for them.

                                            "Optimal placement my tail…" you grumble quietly.

                                            >So between helping your adopted mom/sister/it's complicated, self-loathing and crying in your sleep from being an insignificant speck in the grand scheme of things you entertain yourself with comic books.


                                            >Fortunately, the one you're reading now isn't cursed. The memory of that incident still makes you shudder.

                                            >Thank Celestia it was the issue of Power Ponies. Luna knows, you wouldn't want to trade places with the mares from your /other/ collection of Neighponese comics.

                                            >And yes, Luna does know. Privacy is a luxury among the nosy ponies, and since princesses are ponies too…

                                            >But you digress, it's already past bed time and Twilight will be invading the privacy of your room any second now.

                                            >You quickly put away the comics and hop in your bed.


                                            >Not a second later Twilight barges in like she owns the place, satisfied seeing you in bed she retreats back, presumably, to her study.

                                            >With nopony being in the earshot you begin your favorite activity of the day — bawling your eyes out.

                                            >After going over an exhaustive list of all your faults and shortcomings, along with adding several new entries, it doesn't take long for sleep to claim you.

                                            >Your dreams are relaxing as usual: being strapped to a table with scary grey creatures experimenting on you and sticking things up your… doesn't matter; being berated by every pony in Ponyville for being the useless waste of space you are; Big Mac dragging you to that shed again… Tons of fun every night, you can just hear Luna munching on popcorn somewhere nearby.

                                            >Something messing with your tail drags you back into the waking world. Bah, probably tail trying to curl around your neck again. But when you open your eyes, things appear to be… a little different.

                                            "T-Twi? What are you doing in- Wait, what's that?"

                                            >"Shh, go back to sleep Spike, it'll be over before you know it."

                                            "What will be over? I don't understand. What do you have that big syringe for? Twilight?.."

                                            >"It is for your own good Spike."

                                            "Get it away from me!"

                                            >"Stop squirming."

                                            "No! I don't want it!"

                                            >"Spike relax, it'll hurt less."

                                            "Nooooo! Get away!"

                                            >"Just let it happen"

                                            "No, no, nAAAAAAAH!"


                                            >You jolt up with a good start, breathing like you've just ran a marathon. You heart is hammering your chest from the inside like a punching bag, cold sweat is rolling down your scales, despite being a reptile.

                                            >You've seen things before, but this is definitely something else. It felt /real/, even the pain. You stare beyond this mortal realm as your brain processes your last night's dream.

                                            >Looking outside you see another day full of joy, full of wonder, courtesy of princess Celestia. Seeing that it's still relatively early maybe you could…

                                            >"SPIIIIIIIIIKE!"

                                            >Just your luck.


                                            >You lazily get out of the bed and waddle over to door, grabbing the knob with your tentacle.

                                            > . . .

                                            >Wait, a tentacle?

                                            >You slowly look at the tentacles that your arms became and scream like a schoolfilly, waving madly your now claw-less appendages.

                                            >Next step in your master plan to become normal again is run around your room, continuously screaming. Then, fumble with the doorknob and run in search of Twilight, still screaming.

                                            >The search doesn't take long and you locate the purple mare in a small lab somewhere in the castle. She doesn't appear to be all that bothered by your screaming though.

                                            "T-TWILIGHT!" she turned her head away from the vials of multicolored liquids, there was no surprise on her face, only slight annoyance.

                                            >You show her your 'hands' and she only shakes her head.

                                            >"Darn, I thought I got it right." she sighs.

                                            >What.

                                            "What?" you shake your own head, unable to believe the events that transpire currently.

                                            "C-can you change me back?" your mouth utters before your brain catches up.

                                            >"No, but I can try the other formula. Now that you mention it, it's good you showed up, saves me the trouble of looking for you."

                                            >You can only slowly watch in horror as Twilight stands up and hovers that giant syringe from your nightmare.

                                            >IT WASN'T A DREAM! THIS NIGHTMARE IS NOW YOUR LIFE!

                                            >You instinctively take a step back as she approaches. You turn to run but the door slams shut right in your nose. There is no escape…

                                            >"Now why don't your try to relax, it will make things so much easier." you begin to cry, you just want this nightmare to end.

                                            "Why are you doing this?" you ask between the sobs.

                                            >"Because every other dragon in Ponyville is either bigger, smarter or has more than two arms." you look at your own tentacle arms "But unfortunately none of them let me get a sample so I had to improvise and make something of my own. Now be a good drake and stand still."

                                            >*whimper*


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                                            >Some time later, around midnight

                                            "Ugh… oof… augh… nngh…" grunting and whimpering, the little dragon twists and turns in his bed — sleeping does nothing to mask the unpleasant side-effects of Twilight's serum.

                                            >How did you end up in this sorry state? Well, it started off like this…


                                            >It was only few hours after the injection and subsequent fainting, that you woke up in a corner of the lab.

                                            >At least Twilight had the courtesy to cover you with a lab coat, not that it helped much on a cold crystal floor.

                                            >She was, as usual, busy reading. Though the book's topic was rather far from magic.

                                            >Several grunts announced your awakening. Princess of Ethics bookmarked the page she was reading and put the book down.

                                            >"How are you feeling Spike? Any pains, cramping, strange sensations?"

                                            "Uh, what happened?" answered a slightly woozy dragon, clutching his head.

                                            >To your surprise your arms were back to normal, although…

                                            >You gave yourself a once-over, only to discover that now you were green! Slightly taller too, but green! Complete with brown spines and beige underbelly.

                                            >There was that strange feeling you couldn't place, like something was missing…


                                            >Surprised and startled you yelped, and then you yelped again as you heard your own voice, which sounded much higher than it used to be.

                                            >By that moment the memory of how you ended up in the lab returned.

                                            "Twilight what have you done?!" you nearly squeaked.

                                            >"Calm down Spike, it's only temporary." it did little to avert your panic attack "Just lie down while I get the next do-"

                                            "I don't want your stupid injections! I'm sick of it, I didn't ask for this, leave me alone! GAAAAAAH!!!" you grab the labcoat and throw it at Twilight.

                                            >At the same moment a glow surrounds her and she's promptly slammed into a wall, knocking her unconscious.

                                            >When your anger recedes you realize what you just did.

                                            "Twilight are you okay? T-Twilight? Oh no, nonono…"


                                            >Given that you're conscious you must still be Spike. But can you really call yourself by that name anymore? How much of you is still, well, "you"?

                                            >Bah! No time for existential crisis, you might have seriously injured your adopted mother/sister/let's keep it simple.

                                            >You run up to her to check for any injuries or bones sticking out. Luckily, there aren't any, but she's not waking up. Something's wrong.

                                            >Alright, you've got unconscious Twilight on your claws, possibly with a concussion; the last injection may have changed you into a girl; and you're green. What do you do now?


                                            >Step one: PANIC!

                                            "Twilight, please wake up. I'm sorry Twilight, wake up, please!" you start tearing up.

                                            >You frantically shake her, trying to wake her up, but seeing that it gets you nowhere you quickly abandon that idea.

                                            >You are nervous, scratch that, very nervous and hyperventilating.

                                            >Sure, she casually conducts experiments of questionable ethics on you and doesn't let you stay up past bed time, but you like the mare and you would never hurt her, at least not on purpose. Curse you and your kind heart.

                                            >You pick her up to carry her to the horspital, but collapse under the weight after the first step. No, even now it's impossible. If she wants somepony to carry her, she needs to cut down on those hayburgers.


                                            >It finally dawns on you that maybe you should go and get somepony to help instead.

                                            >So you do, bolting out of the room, screaming for help with your squeaky girly voice.

                                            >Down the hallway, around the corner, through the hall and out the door, still screaming like a little filly for somepony, anypony, to help you.

                                            >You don't want Twilight weighing on your conscience, it's already bursting under the weight of your self-loathing and numerous faults!


                                            >You burst out of castle doors and scream for help, surrounded by dozens of ponies of all colors and descriptions.

                                            > . . .

                                            >Are they bucking kidding? None of the darn ponies even asked what happ-

                                            >"Jeez, what's with all the yelling? Can't a mare have a nap in peace these days?" says a tired raspy voice from above.

                                            "Rainbow… Twilight… in the lab… unconscious… need help…" you wheeze out as you try to catch your breath.

                                            >This new body was not the one of a runner. If anything, running now was even harder with those plump thighs and everything.

                                            >"First, how the hay do you know it's me and second, who are you?" she asks, poking her head out of the cloud.

                                            "It's me, Spike! And who else is napping on clouds during the day?"

                                            >"Right, and I'm Daring Do. Plenty of ponies sleep during the day!" she scoffs, looking extremely offended.

                                            >These. Darn. Ponies! You don't have time for this! You loudly groan in exasperation.

                                            >"Wait, Spike? Is that really you? You've… changed." she's now eyeing you with genuine curiosity.

                                            >Seriously? THAT is how she recognized you?

                                            >You reply with an incredulous stare, which Rainbow seems to take as "yes dummy, that's me".

                                            >"Wow, okay, what happened to you dude? You look… different. I mean, you don't look bad, not that you looked bad before or anything… I mean you just look different, yeah, different that's all-"

                                            "There's no time to play twenty questions! Twi-"

                                            >"Yeah, yeah, I got it. I'll get the gang."

                                            "Rainbow, for pony's sake! Just help me get her to Ponyville General!"

                                            >"Fine, jeez, no need to get all pissy."

                                            "I am NOT pissy."

                                            >"Whatever, lead the way. I still don't know how you navigate this maze of a castle."


                                            >Few minutes later at the castle entrance.

                                            >"Gosh, why didn't you warn she's so heavy? I could get Applejack, or Big Mac."

                                            "I told her to not down hayburgers like it's a daisy sandwich." you groan between heavy breaths.

                                            >"Hey, you don't look very lean either." teased Rainbow.

                                            "What's that supposed to mean?"

                                            >"Nothing." she scrunched her face and avoided your scathing glare.

                                            >"I mean, you could use a workout yourself." your cheeks immediately flare up at that comment.

                                            "It's those stupid injections Twilight gave me!" you defend your own sedentary lifestyle. Hey, it's hard to read comics and jog, okay?

                                            >"Right, whatever you say… pudgy." she said with a straight face, but couldn't hold back the smirk and a snort at the last part.

                                            >Your blush deepens significantly and you are now fuming. Rainbow has a hard time concealing her amusement. She's enjoying this way too much.


                                            >Your verbal back-and-forth continues all the way to Ponyville General, where a weary nurse greets your at the reception and takes care of Twilight.

                                            >"So, have any plans for today? I still have my beauty sleep on to-do list but after that we could maybe hang out."

                                            >You are once again surprised by her hooves-off attitude.

                                            "Sorry, I keep forgetting, aren't you her friend?" you coat each word with enough sarcasm to hurt a lesser mare.

                                            >"Would me sitting here help her somehow?"

                                            "…No, b-but-"

                                            >"Then what's the point? You might as well have a good time while she fights for her life."

                                            "…You're such a good friend Rainbow, you know that?"

                                            >An annoyingly smug face is her answer.

                                            >"I know right? So, you're sticking around or what?"

                                            "Guess so."

                                            >"Well good luck dying of boredom here, you know where to find me if you change your mind."

                                            "Slacking off on a cloud as usual?"

                                            >Rainbow smirks and playfully slaps you on the rump with her wing before taking off.

                                            > . . .

                                            >She may have a point there.

                                            >Before you decide to follow her example you spy Nurse Redheart dragging herself back to the reception table, dreary as ever.

                                            >It took a considerable amount of willpower to inquire about Twilight from such joyful mare.

                                            >But now you know for a fact that she has a mild concussion and a severe case of bedhead she isn't going to be happy about.

                                            >Redheart told you to go home, since Twilight won't come to until evening.

                                            >So you did as you were told like a good drake and spent the rest of the day reading comics, checking yourself out in the mirror and eating hayburgers.

                                            >Yes, hayburgers. You are disgusting, Rainbow Dash was right. You append the mental list of your faults with another entry.


                                            >When the evening rolled around you went to hospital to check up on Twilight.

                                            >She was awake and genuinely happy to see you. By Celestia, you only tolerate her antics because of moments like these.

                                            >There was much rejoicing, Twilight was surprised to hear that you and Dash dragged her unconscious body to the horspital, instead of just running away.

                                            > . . .

                                            >Oh horseapples!


                                            >And what did you got for your troubles in the end? A syringe in the flank, that's what. Thank you Twilight, your sense of gratitude is breathtaking.

                                            >Your stupid helping nature is going to be the end of you.