Introduction

Hello! Health Secretary Glimmer speaking. I would like to thank everypony for continuing to wear a mask in these troubling times.

I am happy to announce that case rates in Ponyville have fallen thanks to your continued compliance with the measures. As such, snowfall has now been permitted in the area surrounding the Ponyville Clock Tower. However, be advised that non-magical contact with the snow is not permitted at this time due to risk of transmission. If you would like to see some snow, be sure to head on over there with the approval of the Ponyville Health Office. Admission is first come first serve. Don't forget to bring your mask and your vaccine pass!

I would like to remind everypony that POVID-19 does not take holidays. It is important that we continue to follow the rules so that everypony can celebrate the holiday safely. Everypony must do their part to prevent the spread of the poronavirus. We must do everything in our power to ensure that what should be a time of celebration does not become a time of tragedy.

Remember, vaccines are a safe and effective means for preventing transmission of the SARS-PoV-2 virus. It is our responsibility to get vaccinated in order to end this pandemic. Vaccines are available at Sugarcube Corner and the Ponyville Hospital. Book an appointment and get your vaccine or your booster today. Stay safe, everypony!

A Safe and Effective Hearth's Warming

Have a safe and effective Hearth's Warming, everypony! Remember, your masks are for your mouths and noses, not your chins, silly! Trying to figure out a great gift to get your friend? Book a booster shot appointment at the Sugarcube Corner clinic today! They'll be thrilled!

They said we're gonna lock it down for two weeks To flatten the curve of this disease So I bore it for a while When the masks would hide your smiles If only then That were the end

And those two weeks passed by super duper slow I'm not great at math, just to let you know But I'm pretty sure two years Ain't anywhere near two weeks Go figure it out If you know how

I just don't understand why you don't want to get vaccinated. Because I asked my doctor and he said POVID isn't a risk for me. I'm a professional athlete. Who isn't allowed to participate in her profession because she isn't vaccinated.

Hello, Doordash for Sunburst?
Yep. Uh, could you leave the food right there? Gotta social distance and all. Of course. Thank you! Have a good one!

Ah (x7)

Fill the stockings with your new vaccines Underneath the Hearth's Warming tree (unless you're unvaxed. Then you just get coal.) Social distance, there's no mistletoe that you can see So we won't spread the POVID-19

The random closures made our wallets hurt Our clientele dried up like a desert And the Doordash bits we'd claim Hardly softened up the pain For what? It's all too much

So for this year don't look for any gingerbread Now we give vaccines to slow the spread And I'm told it works out fine Keeping ponies' safe' cause I Know Twilight Would never lie

Your scienceness, I have news for you. Of course. You may enter. I've finished the recording. The opinion scryer indicates that under normal circumstances, compliance levels will remain above 90% for at least six months... But there's one problem. Indeed. The Filly won't shut up about this beagle story. What should we do? My researchers have uncovered a new variant in South Zebrica. I would like you to prepare the media package as soon as possible. Throw some additional restrictions and mandates in there; that should give them something juicy to complain about. It shall be done. Hail Science. Hail Science. With any luck, we can get this unruly virus under control.

Why, I read in the paper just the other day that a perfectly healthy buckball player died from POVID. Oh, come on, Fluttershy! That's fake news! The media twist stuff up all the time to get juicy headlines! (You've seen how much crap they've made up about me!)

Do you know what won't give you POVID-19 Decorating the Hearth's Warming tree Wear your mask and cover up your mouth and nose There's no skating 'cause the ice rink's closed

(An unvaccinated pony? She's not even wearing a mask! She's gonna give us all POVID! Oh, hell no! I told you coming into town was a bad idea, Applebloom! These ponies have gone crazy!)

Na na na na na na na na, Na na na na na na na na. (Hell no, hell no, to the no no, to the no no, to the no no no no no no no no no no no.)

Na na na na na na na na, Na na na na na na na na. (Hell to the no, hell to the no no, hell to the no, hell to the no, no, hell to the no no no.)

Hell No

(Ooh, ooh hell no to the no no no) x2

Came back from Appleloosa To a new kind of fashion craze Talkin 'bout a virus goin' round So we got to mask our face Went into the market A colt got in my face and neighed That I was a threat to Granny 'Cause my mask weren't on the right way Hey, now

Hell no, to the no, no, no (Hell to the no) Hell no, to the no, no, no x4

Now they closed down the market To make the ponies stay inside Shouldn't be that hard to guess But for many the bits ran dry So the Sugarcube Corner Lost half its customer base Now they just give out vaccines, No more baking cakes Every single building Has got a mandatory masking sign Twilight's saying something weird like Comply or you gotta pay a fine Come on

Hell no, to the no, no, no (Hell to the no) Hell no, to the no, no, no x4

Cheerilee couldn't stand The classes over the telescreen With the dropouts and cheating all around I could see why it made her scream So they switched to real classes But they gotta keep all the windows open Gotta eat their lunch outside 'Cause they don't want the foal to get POVID Now they got a new teacher Offerin' pizza to get vaccine consent Bloom told me 'bout the offer So back to homeschooling she went 'Cause I said

Hell no, to the no, no, no (Hell to the no) Hell no, to the no, no, no x4

So they told us last week That the town is gonna open up again If you don't have your vax pass You'll get quarantined in a pen Now what Twilight's up to Is something I don't wanna know She can "hail science", but I got a feeling I'm Sayin' hell to the no no, come on

Hell no, to the no, no, no

Come on! Hell no, to the no, no, no

Hell to the no! Hell no, to the no, no, no

Not another year of this crap! Hell no, to the no, no, no

Hell no, to the no, no, no Hell no, to the no, no, no...

I Am The Science

Vexing and perplexing, It Should only take up two weeks, if It weren't for all you fools Masks worn on your chins, and breaking all the rules

We all like when speech is free That's important but all these Protests can't be allowed Plague rats, spreading POVID all around

You can't breathe then? What a fine excuse that is Medical exemption? Test me, just go try it You can't eat? Well, I can't relate Cause for me the Hay Burger has been doing great

I don't know what it's gonna take Or how many eggs I have got to break

Oh, if you don't Trust in the science (Trusting in the science) Follow the science (Following the science) I am the science (Yes, you are the science. The science that will keep us all safe, yeah)

Mass extinction event, it Happens all around us, this Virus kills the unvaxxed So don't let them go on without a mask

Now you've been so patient, but Let's not get complacent, 'cause A new variant's around Comply a little longer, it's the only way out

These vaccines / are safe and so effective But don't think / that they're a mask replacement

We ain't past the POVID peak Re-up on your booster every week (Ooh, yeah, she is the science) x2 And

Trust in the science (Trusting in the science) Follow the science (Following the science) I am the science (Yes, you are the science. The science that will keep us all safe, yeah) (Science guitar solo!)

So I've made some small mistakes Who really likes beagles, anyways? Do you want your stimmy now? Feel a little dizzy now? (Ooh, yeah, she is the science) x2

Well Trust in the science (Trusting in the science) Follow the science (Following the science) I am the science (Yes, you are the science. The science that will keep us all safe, yeah) I am the science (Yes you are the science) x3 The science paves our brave new way, yeah

Intermission

I told you, I don't need to be vaccinated! (Uh huh.) I got POVID already! I just rested for half a day, took some Ivermarectin. I was fine! (Yeah, yeah, likely story.) Oh, Rarity, thank goodness you're here! Tell these officers that I'm naturally immune. Into the POVID van please, Miss Dash. What? Rarity, it's me. Rainbow Dash! The Element of Loyalty! Your friend! Now.

How long am I gonna be stuck here? Well, it was going to be two weeks. So not very long, to be honest. But since you stepped off the porch, I'm adding another week to your quarantine. Huh? By the way, don't step off the porch. That's a rule. Actually, if I were you, I wouldn't even leave that room. Have a nice quarantine, Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow's Escape

Trapped inside this room, for this cold Hearth's Warming They say I'll be free soon, feels like eternity But even when I'm out What I know now I can't forget This inequinity

Is this, oh, how it's gotta be All to stop the spread of this disease Twilight, Glimmer, and Rarity Seems our friendship's shattering

Locked up in here, in these prison walls I'm tryin' to keep myself calm and composed (Whoa) Victims of fear, don't let the curtain fall Can I hold on to what I know?

No one hears a word, and I'm not flying free Caged just like a bird, but I'm not meant to be And my wings are bound, Stuck on the ground, nowhere to go Losing my sanity

Sad world, make it a comedy Former friends, well they're just gonna be Punchlines, oh, throwing hurt at me While I'm trapped in quarantine

Locked up in here, in these prison walls I'm tryin' to keep myself calm and composed (Whoa) Dry up your tears, 'cause this isn't all Can I hold on to what I know?

Huh? Fluttershy? What are you doing? I'm breaking you out! Well, shoot! Let's go! Hey, wait! Stop right there, unvaccinated scum! (Sounds of speed and destruction)

(audible eating noises) Hmm? What the hay? Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, get back here right this instant!

Woohoo! See you later, losers!

Intermission

I think we're clear. So… Uh… Rainbow? Was all of that destruction necessary? Were those explosives necessary? Well… um.. Nah, it wasn't. I was just trying to get back at Twilight. So I heard that you took Ivermarectin for your POVID. Yeah? What about it? I still have some if you want any. Ivermarectin is horse dewormer. Uh, it's that and a lot of other things. You shouldn't have taken Ivermarectin. It's a real medicine. No, it's not. Did you just break me out so you can argue with me about Ivermarectin again?

Ivermarectin

Read a crazy social media story (It's been used for decades in ponies.) 'Bout some crazy ponies searching for Cures to fight the POVID virus cheaply Who knows what they'd find in store

So naïve ponies misled would see False info dressed in disguise Claimed that a deworming remedy Could kill the virus inside

Please don't think of taking Ivermarectin (It's not just horse dewormer, Fluttershy.) I know you don't need deworming stuff Free yourself from clouds you've got your head in POVID isn't cured by random drugs

Now the E R's filling up with ponies (Oh, come on. Not this again.) Tricked to take a horse deworming drug (That was fake news, Fluttershy!) By quacks touting tidy cooked-up studies (Those are real studies that show it has an effect in curing POVID.) Just to make a quick buck

Colt Rogan, his podcast spreading lies (What?) That stuff just doesn't work Listen to Sparkle and be more wise Vaccines, the only cure

Please don't think of taking Ivermarectin (Colt Rogan is way more trustworthy than Twilight Sparkle.) I know you don't need deworming stuff Free yourself from clouds you've got your head in POVID isn't cured by random drugs

Luckily Twilight's health agency Put an end to Rogan's lies (Oh, what, so you support censorship now?) No more shall clinics prescribe this thing No more shall these lies claim minds

Please don't think of taking Ivermarectin I know you don't need deworming stuff Free yourself from clouds you've got your head in POVID isn't cured by random drugs

Intermission

Sorry, let me put my masks on.

Hello. Health Secretary Glimmer here with some important news.

Due to the rise of the Ponicron strain, the Ponyville Health Department is taking the necessary actions to halt the spread of this new threat. It is unfortunate that this new variant chose the time of the holidays to show up, but let this serve as a reminder to all of us that the pandemic is not yet over and that we must remain vigilant in these times of POVID.

As of today, the Ponicron strain has been detected in Zebrica and Griffonstone. As such, travel restrictions to and from those regions have been placed. Ponies who have recently traveled from Zebrica and Griffonstone are required to let their local health office know immediately and await further action. Reporting such travel is NOT optional, and lying about travel history may subject one to criminal charges. Travelers may be requested to voluntarily quarantine in a designated quarantine resort. I understand that not everypony may find these measures pleasant; however, these are difficult times, and difficult times demand difficult decisions in order to keep us safe.

Furthermore, the following domestic restrictions have been instituted to prevent the spread of the poronavirus. Ponies shall not leave their houses except for medical reasons, of which law enforcement shall be notified. Violators may be subject to fines of up to 5000 bits. Masks shall be worn at all times, including indoors. Furthermore, ponies shall be expected to respond to police searches and comply with investigations.

Now, it may have come to your attention that a suspected infected individual broke out of their designated quarantine resort last night. We are aware that the individual is still at large. Due to procedure I cannot disclose all information regarding the event at this time, however I am able to state that a large-scale investigation is currently being conducted into the breakout, and the fugitive shall swiftly be brought to justice. We request that any citizens with information on this individual report to law enforcement.

There is another matter I would like to address. I cannot adequately emphasize how important it is that ponies get vaccinated against the SARS-PoV-2 virus. We are all sick and tired, not just of the pandemic but those who selfishly choose to disregard the wellbeing of those around them. It is past time that you get vaccinated. Our patience is running out. Let blame not escape those who choose to spread misinformation about the vaccines and cast doubt on the science. You have made your decision, and you should know that there will be consequences for that decision. All scientific authorities agree that the vaccine is safe and effective. The science is settled.

Now, I want to be clear to those of us who have been responsible enough to get vaccinated. Your efforts will not go unpaid. There will be harsh penalties to those who place all of us at risk by choosing not to get vaccinated. We cannot at this time disclose these penalties; however, it really shouldn't be a difficult decision to make. All you have to do is get vaccinated. Thank you.

Remember, we are all in this together.

Myocarditis Mystery

A few weeks past the first vaccinations (Oh, whoa) This health inspector got ready for vacations (Oh, whoa)

But the pandemic wasn't over And now it wasn't just POVID Ponies young and old, fit or not Heart inflammation, blood clots So what's behind this crisis There's no easy way to hide this All the incidents post-shot So an explanation was sought

Oh, it's a mystery (Oh whoa oh oh whoa oh oh) No easy way to see The cause of curious heart disease A bad case of myocarditis

As you say dear, the vaccine is in fact safe and effective. Besides, how sure can we be that Twitter isn't causing all these heart conditions and deaths? (laugh track)

Some ponies demanded a good explanation What could be the cause of all this inflammation?

So maybe it's too much stress Athletes don't get sufficient rest Perhaps it's climate change Yes you know this weather's been so strange Or perhaps it's the Mary J Or ponies playing too many video games Possibly all that oily hay bacon That your fast food joint's been makin'

Oh, it's a mystery (Oh whoa oh oh whoa oh oh) No easy way to see The cause of curious heart disease A bad case of myocarditis

So what about the athletes If they die a few years early Would've died in a helicopter crash Or POVID if they were unvaxxed Say "begone" to inconvenient thoughts Shut up and take all your booster shots Stop asking all these annoying questions How long will it be till you get it?

Oh, it's a mystery (Oh whoa oh oh whoa oh oh) No easy way to see The cause of curious heart disease A bad case of myocarditis

Oh, it's a mystery (Oh whoa oh oh whoa oh oh) No easy way to see The cause of curious heart disease A bad case of myocarditis

Intermission

I come to the vaccinated and unvaccinated with a happy and final solution that I am sure we shall all find amicable.

Now is the time for us to show courage and compassion for those who have been responsible enough to get vaccinated. And now is the time for the unvaccinated to accept the consequences of their actions. Hearth's Warming is a privilege, and that privilege should be reserved only for responsible members of society.

Our healthcare workers have sacrificed long enough. We have tolerated your ignorance long enough. We have borne the cost of your lies and obstinance long enough. We have been perfectly reasonable--but you have exhausted all options. Vaccinated ponies should no longer have to bear the burden placed upon us by those who choose to remain unvaccinated.

Today I present the unvaccinated with a simple choice. You may voluntarily accept the vaccine, or you may voluntarily quarantine in a designated quarantine facility. The choice is yours. Vaccinate or quarantine.

Hail Science!!!

The Vaccine Is Safe And Effective

The Vaccine Is Safe And Effective...