Would I lie to you?


                                            Note: Currently being rewritten.


                                            >Be Gan Ainm

                                            >Be Jack Tanner

                                            >Be Ben Goldlock

                                            >Be Daniel Briel

                                            >Be John Wetherby

                                            >Be an identity thief.


                                            >You have so many fake identities going on now in Anywhere USA that you are starting to make mistakes.

                                            >Rookie mistakes.

                                            >You had to make a hasty profile deletion on Facebook as you accidentally crossed two of your stolen identities.

                                            >You accidentally sent a friend request to your victim instead of the quote on quote “Lawyers” account.

                                            >Well...There go your ‘well priced legal fees'.

                                            >It'll only be a matter of minutes till your victim will check your sock profile to spot it had a few name changes and a dubious amount of friends.


                                            >You lean back in the leather computer chair and take a swig of beer and swing side to side. Your socks slide across the varnished wooden floor.

                                            >Well at least you got to stay in this sweet vacation home.

                                            >It’s a little small for your liking, but it’s got a nice view over the bay in the front lounge, a nice small backyard, and a double garage to boot.

                                            >All in all one of the nicer places you’ve wormed your way into for temporary shelter.

                                            >All it took were a few email exchanges with the caretaker to leave you a key hidden in a bush and to top it off you allowed the caretaker to have a week’s holiday by pretending to be his boss.

                                            >'Paid' of course.

                                            “Thank you…” You raise a can of beer in one hand, With the other, you click on the start menu on the PC. “Jack Tanner.”

                                            >Besides, you’re thankful he posted something on his Facebook about a vacation elsewhere, so this place is all yours for a few days.

                                            >Whoever this guy seemed like he's well off, but lonely.

                                            >And a fucking weirdo.

                                            >Then again, most wealthy people had some kink or another, finding out that kink is always perfect for blackmail.


                                            >The funny thing is, he had gigabytes upon gigabytes of little ponies on an external hard drive.

                                            >Honestly when you found it hidden under the desk you hoped it'll be filled with a good few illegal nasties to blackmail the guy with.

                                            >But this...

                                            >You wouldn't know where to start.

                                            >It isn’t bestiality, as it's a cartoon. Still, it can be a card to play to create an embarrassment in the community.

                                            >Had to admit, the ponies are cute though.

                                            >Kind of gave you that little pony vibe from that old cartoon from the eighties.


                                            >You return your attention back to the computer after placing down the bottle of beer.

                                            >Well there's nothing you can do now.

                                            >You noticed your victim has escaped by reporting your sock account which has been immediately suspended.

                                            >Damn, that was your oldest account.

                                            >Placing an elbow on the desk you rest your cheek on your hand.

                                            “So much for working tonight” You mumble to yourself.

                                            >Just before you were to take another swig of beer, you noticed a small magazine next to the computer mouse covered in empty beer cans.

                                            >You hover the drink at your lips as you stare at the glossy title.

                                            >huh,

                                            >How did you miss that?

                                            >’Immigrating to Equestria’

                                            >Equestria? Where the hell is that?

                                            >Sounds European.

                                            >You place down your drink and flick open the magazine to the first page where a small photo of a pony falls out.

                                            >Raising an eyebrow, you inspect the photo.

                                            >The creature in the photo seems…real.

                                            >Almost life-like, if it wasn’t for the dark green mane and the white coat.

                                            >The eye’s though, if they were on a woman, you’ll fall for her in an instant as you have never seen green like it, comparing them to emeralds would not do them justice.

                                            >Flipping the photo over, you see some printed text.

                                            >>’She is waiting for you, sign the documents today!’


                                            >You slowly shake your head as you get up and head to the fridge.

                                            >What is this guy into?

                                            >Some small horse dating fetish?

                                            >You laugh at your own thoughts as you rummage through the contents for a quick snack.

                                            >Looking through the few shelves, you find a chocolate bar, you open the packaging and take and bite before soldering the fridge door shut.

                                            >You know what? You’re going to fill out those documents for a laugh. You think to yourself as you chew on the chocolate goodness.

                                            >It may be a stupid idea, but the beer is in charge now.

                                            >But fucking up this guy’s immigration/dating pony role play would be funny.

                                            >Besides you’ll be leaving in a few days, so you’ll be long gone when Jack finds out.


                                            >Be a few days later.

                                            >Be Nymph Drone 12431

                                            >Be a free nymph drone.

                                            >After the fall of your queen you decided to leave the hive once Thorax took the throne.

                                            >Him and the others all changed for the worse in your opinion.

                                            >In fact, many others shared similar thoughts too.

                                            >Thorax is a nice stallion, but no King, not even fit to be a leader.

                                            >The others that follow them may like it at first, but his weak attitude will become bait for the other hives.

                                            >Then again luck graced him on the first day on the throne by securing an alliance with Equestria and maybe the Crystal Empire further down the line. Maybe that’ll deter the other hives.

                                            >At least for a while.

                                            >Probably worst of all is that to join Thorax you had to give up your black chitin in the trade of a multicolored nightmare that your hive now took.

                                            >Yeah you know what changelings used to look like before the great change, but damn you look good in black.


                                            >You look up to the mare in the green pod that has been attached to her ceiling in her little home. She kicks slightly as she slumbers.

                                            >Focusing your magic, a green flame envelops you leaving you a spitting image of her.

                                            “Not bad, not bad at all.”

                                            >You look over your new disguise in the mirror. Honestly, you're loving the green mane and eyes.

                                            >You couldn’t help raiding the bedroom to try on a few hats and dresses.

                                            >For a small town mare, she had a few beautiful dresses hung in her wardrobe.

                                            >You’re almost jealous.

                                            >Almost.

                                            >Though you have time to try a few on.

                                            >You smile at yourself in the mirror, as you run a hoof through the sequined dress that lightly graces over your flanks.

                                            >It’s a shame. Your smile falls to a frown, it’ll only fit if you're in this disguise. Your natural form is a little more petite compared to ponies.

                                            >The fabric around your barrel would simply hang. Making you look like some worn-out whorse after a rough night.

                                            >You let your disguise drop. Your suspicions were correct, the dress has become too big around your shoulders and barrel.

                                            >You ungracefully pulled it off over your head and threw it in the corner and once again resumed your disguise.

                                            >Turning around you glance over the letter placed on top of the bedroom drawers with a big bag of bits.

                                            >In a rush of excitement you grab the letter and head out.

                                            >You stop as you're leaving and turn to the trapped mare and remember what it said in the letter.

                                            >>’Your husband will soon be here.’

                                            >A smile grows a little wider as you realize you're so close.

                                            >You read so much about these ‘humans’ and how much love they offer.

                                            >If you could get your hooves on one of them, you’ll be set for many moons.

                                            >And today, you will get your own.


                                            >Be an Identity thief.

                                            >You have a bug-out bag ready by the door.

                                            >It’s the last day before needing to move on from Jack's vacation home.

                                            >So you are finishing up adding ‘borrowed’ credit card details into a darknet crypto exchange.

                                            >Most of the card numbers were still active to your surprise. Most of the time when you brought bulk details most had been canceled.

                                            >You weren’t greedy as you only borrowed about $30 worth from each card.

                                            >In total there should be enough to last you for a month if need be.

                                            >You transfer around $2000 through many exchanges before putting it into your offshore account.

                                            >The downside when doing that you are hit with a few fees, so in the end, you got roughly $1800.

                                            >Hopefully that should cover your food and travel expenses but covering your ass is worth the fees you had to pay.

                                            >Once finished, you took your time removing all your activities and history from Jack's computer.

                                            >Pretty much everything can and will be used against you if caught.


                                            >A small crackle nearby catches your attention.

                                            >Swivelling around on the computer chair you spot a small letter addressed to Jack sitting on the corner of the desk.

                                            >You are bewildered how that letter got there. It wasn’t there just a moment ago as you’ve been cleaning up after yourself.

                                            >Picking it up you open the envelope. Yeah, you know it’s a federal crime, but fuck it, you’ve been doing worst just ten minutes ago.

                                            >Seeing it’s a simple small letter you read through it.

                                            >>Dear Mr. Tanner.

                                            >>We are delighted that you have chosen to immigrate to Equestria. Please be reminded that all advanced human technology will be confiscated upon arrival. Please refer to issue one to our Immigrating to Equestria magazine for a full list of illegal technologies.

                                            >>Regardless, you will be pleased to know that your wife is very eager to meet you and we are pleased to inform you that we will be collecting you shortly.

                                            >> Yours Sincerely,

                                            >> Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Princess of Love.


                                            >Collecting you shortly?

                                            >What car is going to pull up and take you somewhere in Europe?

                                            >You laugh at the letter and throw it back down.

                                            >This has to be one in-depth role play.

                                            >Shaking your head, you head to the bedroom where you’ve been sleeping over the last few days.

                                            >You stripped the bed and replaced the bedding. It’s very unlikely they’ll use forensics if the police do call, but you'd rather be safe than sorry.

                                            >Most of your victims just get a police report then call the insurance company to replace the brand new sixty inch flatscreen television you apparently stole.

                                            >After putting pure white sheets back on you pack the old ones into a black bag ready to dump somewhere else.

                                            >You catch yourself in the reflection of a mirror attached to a wardrobe door.

                                            >You notice your clothes have become a little torn and ragged from your traveling.

                                            >Or maybe it’s being in a wealthy home you seem to notice the wear more.

                                            >You open the wardrobe door, pull out a black jacket, hold it to your chest and hold a sleeve out with one hand.

                                            >It could fit, you throw the jacket on the bed and continue to search for something to wear with it.

                                            >You push across the hanging clothes along the rail to find a nice pressed white shirt.

                                            >Pulling off your t-shirt you put on the shirt a button up the front.

                                            >Next you start looking for some pants, though you’re never the type to dress in a full suit.

                                            >Lady luck smiles on you, as you notice a pair of jeans, you grab them and put them on.

                                            >A little big on the waist, but a belt is easily found in the drawers.

                                            >You close the wardrobe door and adjust your new jacket and straighten your shirt collar.

                                            >Not bad. But something is still missing.

                                            >You look back through the drawers and find a few ties.

                                            >You hold them up one by one and settle on the black one.

                                            >Loosening it a little, you inspect yourself in the mirror again.

                                            >You look like a middle manager douchebag who tries to be hip yet professional.

                                            >Perfect for the next city you plan to head to.

                                            >You shove your old clothes with the bedsheets and continue to clean up.


                                            >A loud thumping knock at the front door jolts you from your thoughts.

                                            >”FBI Open up!”

                                            >Ohshit.jpg.avi.mp4

                                            >You run to a wall and carefully glance out the window.

                                            >It’s your worst fear, it’s the feds.

                                            >How did they find you?

                                            >Peeking back out the window you spot a civilian talking to the agents.

                                            >Looking at a picture on the wall you recognize him as the real Jack.

                                            >Ah shit, it looks like the caretaker and Jack got talking.

                                            >”I REPEAT! OPEN UP! FBI!”

                                            >Shit time to bug out.

                                            >You run and grab your bag and head to the back door.

                                            >Fuck, they got you surrounded, multiple agents make their way into the back garden, hugged tightly to the patio wall.

                                            >Beads of sweat drips down your forehead as you look for an escape from the luxury vacation home.


                                            >Another crackling sound catches your attention, but this time it was much louder.

                                            >Covering your ears from the deafening sound, a blinding white flash dazzles you for a moment.

                                            >Half expecting a flashbang, you hear a voice.

                                            >”Mr Jack Tanner?”

                                            >Your eyes adjust to the bright glow to see a small unicorn pony-like thing in front of you.

                                            >Something similar to the image in the magazines and on the hard drive.

                                            ”Err maybe?” You mutter as you look at the pony wearing light purple horse armor.

                                            >The unicorn sighs and shakes his head mumbling about humans always forgetting their name when the portal opens.

                                            >”Are you Jack Tanner or not?”

                                            >You nod.

                                            >” Very well, this way please sir.”

                                            >The unicorn starts to head back into the portal from which it came.

                                            >Suddenly a white blinding flash consumes you.


                                            >Be sneaky changeling.

                                            >Being in the Crystal Empire can be risky, even though your hive has been reformed.

                                            >But you are still rocking your black chitin so if caught they’ll know that you haven’t reformed.

                                            >On top of that, the prince and princess here are still not fond of us after the wedding fiasco.

                                            >Regardless, you trot down the cobblestone road in your disguise.

                                            >What was your disguise name again?  Tea leaf? Forest? Oh yeah, Forest leaves.

                                            >Got to remember that.

                                            >You stop and pull out the letter from your saddlebag.

                                            >Where were you supposed to meet him again?

                                            >By the Crystal Heart.

                                            >Great.

                                            >Even though it produces pure love magic, being near it can prove uncomfortable.

                                            >It’s like cramming fifty hay burgers down your throat every minute.

                                            >And it’ll make you fat in no time.

                                            >Just getting the goods and leaving is the best option here.

                                            >You feel the love get thicker as you approach the Crystal Heart just outside of the palace.

                                            >Looking around you see other mares and their new “husbands” talking to each other.

                                            >Surely he’s got to be around here somewhere.

                                            >You reach back into your saddlebags to pull out the photo of him.

                                            >Let me see, short cut mane. Little skinny for your liking.

                                            >You look around for the human.

                                            “Ugh they all look the same…” You grumble to yourself stuffing the photo back into your saddlebags.

                                            >Eventually you find a human face down on the ground.

                                            >There were no mare’s ready to pounce on him, so you had a hunch he was yours.

                                            >You give the human a nudge on his shoulder.

                                            >He flinches and rolls over and sits upon his behind.

                                            >He stares at you for a moment then proceeds to look around.

                                            >His hand slips into his pocket, only for him to panic, it seems he has lost something. Muttering about a “phone” to take a “picture”.

                                            >You shrug it off, maybe cameras are called phones where he’s from.

                                            >”Where am I?”

                                            “You’re in the Crystal Empire.”

                                            >”Crystal who? Is that in Europe?”

                                            “What's Europe?”

                                            >He looks dead at you, you can tell some cogs are turning in his mind. With a sudden realization, his eyes shoot wide open.

                                            “It’s you! You from the photo!”

                                            >”Yes, it’s me. I’m Le- Forest Leaves. I’m your new wife.”

                                            >You cringe on the inside, muttering that word.

                                            “A wife?”

                                            >”You bet!”

                                            >He sits there completely dumbfounded.

                                            “I’m married to a horse now?”

                                            >”What no! First I’m a pony, Second, the Crystal Heart over there matched us for a relationship, silly.”

                                            >The human looks at the Heart and back to you.

                                            >Poor thing he’s still in shock being here. Well, that’s what the magazines and brochures said that could happen.

                                            >You give one of your best and cutest giggles to hide your glee. With his state of mind, he’ll be easy to manipulate.

                                            “So..” You scuff a hoof along the ground, “I’m guessing you are Jack?”

                                            >”Jack? Uh… yes, yes…Jack Tanner”

                                            “Ok Mr Tanner, why don’t we go somewhere warm?”

                                            >Plus, you're almost bursting at your seams standing here.

                                            >If you stand here any longer, you’ll end up spewing changeling goo everywhere.

                                            >That would alert the guards, and be a total embarrassment.

                                            >Jack finally speaks up “Yeah, yeah sure.”

                                            >You give him a wink.

                                            “Follow me~” You sing.


                                            >You have to be dreaming.

                                            >It’s easy to see that this is some dreamland.

                                            >Right now you are probably on the floor with your hands zipped tied behind your back.

                                            >The feds are probably discussing what to say in their reports about the force used to knock you out.

                                            >”Come on this way!” Your new ‘wife’ calls out to you as you start to lag behind taking in the sights.

                                            >The white mare runs back to you and bumps you on your hip nudging you towards a hotel, only to take the lead once more.

                                            >You guessed she’s female, only to be confirmed when she walked on ahead.

                                            >You shake the image out of your head, you guess clothes aren't an issue here in Horse Europe.

                                            >You both enter the lobby to bear witness to the sheer wealth that the hotel has to offer.

                                            >The marble floors, crystal chandeliers, and the golden crested furniture…

                                            >This mare must be rich to be able to book a room here, you wonder.

                                            >Forming a plan in your mind, you decide to stick with her for a while. Maybe borrow some of her wealth later, once you work out what’s going on and gather your bearings.

                                            >You and the mare head towards the grand reception, where a unicorn mare is sitting.

                                            >The ponies here look different to Forest Leaves; they all have this odd sparkly shine to them.

                                            >Maybe Forest is from out of town. You can tell she doesn’t really fit in here.

                                            >You can tell by her mannerisms, and the lack of expensive-looking accessories like the other hotel guests are wearing.

                                            >”Right, let me get my coin purse.” Forest Leaves speaks up as she rummages through her saddlebags. “Oh no!”

                                            “What’s the matter?”

                                            >A visible blush appears on her muzzle; you must admit it's darn cute.

                                            >Though the logical part of your brain is wondering how the blush is appearing through her fur.

                                            >”I-! forgot my bits!”

                                            “Bits?”

                                            >”Money...” She replies with a whisper.

                                            >You take a glance out the window behind you.

                                            >It’s getting dark. Plus, it is cold outside.

                                            >You got into hotels for free before, so you decide to try here.

                                            “How long are we staying?” You whisper.

                                            >”A night. Maybe leave for home in the morning.” Forest replies matching your volume.

                                            >You nod. Easily doable.

                                            >You take a few steps and ring the bell at the reception.

                                            >You could just speak to the sparkly pony unicorn thing. But damn, you love desk bells.