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GMod Encounter

By BitsBehindCurtain
Created: 2022-05-11 16:57:09
Expiry: Never
ocdarknsfw

  1. 1.
    Cowie: why are you always so dark, gorloss? are you a demon?
  2. 2.
    Gorloss: ??
  3. 3.
    Cowie: idk, your jokes are always edgy
  4. 4.
    Gorloss: I have never told a dark joke in my life. I attend Church every Sunday.
  5. 5.
    Cowie: i can tell. you're very christian
  6. 6.
    Gorloss: Amen sister
  7. 7.
    Cowie: Amen brother
  8. 8.
    Cowie: now i feel like a part of a cult after saying that
  9. 9.
    Gorloss: You'll be receiving the invoice within 5-7 business days
  10. 10.
    Cowie: i knew this was a bad idea. you have to pay for everything
  11. 11.
    Gorloss: Monthly.
  12. 12.
    Cowie: wut? come on!
  13. 13.
    Gorloss: Should've read the fine print, steak sandwich.
  14. 14.
    Cowie: }uhoh
  15. 15.
    Cowie: why would you call me a steak sandwich? you can make steak sandwiches out of regular ingridients. like the ones you can get in a mall
  16. 16.
    Gorloss: No. I want YOUR steak.
  17. 17.
    Cowie: :fearful:
  18. 18.
    Gorloss: It's steak with context and that's what matters. I like to personally know the cows that end up inbetween two slices of bread.
  19. 19.
    Cowie: i heard that the steak sandwiches made out of regular meet taste better. i mean... imagine grilling a whole cow! das a lot of work. plus the meat wouldn't cook evenly
  20. 20.
    Gorloss: One day you'll wake up on a grill, covered in sweet chilli sauce.
  21. 21.
    Cowie: :fearful:
  22. 22.
    Gorloss: Clearly you'll prep it first. You know... Slicing and dicing? No one eats the whole cow. No one wants a whole cow.
  23. 23.
    *Cowie gulps*
  24. 24.
    Gorloss: The people just want that thick, plump ass of yours.
  25. 25.
    Cowie: heh... come on... you wouldn't slice a cow... *chuckles* a cow can give milk
  26. 26.
    Gorloss: I would dice a cow.
  27. 27.
    Cowie: :fearful:
  28. 28.
    Gorloss: I'd have a nice fresh glass of milk from the very cow I'm about to eat. But don't worry, I'll put your cow bell on the fireplace mantle... With the others.
  29. 29.
    Cowie: please don't hurt me. *sob* i'll get you the money. i'll pay monthly
  30. 30.
    Gorloss: Fantastic! Welcome aboard! We have cookies and punch by the door :)
  31. 31.
     
  32. 32.
    *Gorloss turns into a scary Clinder moth OC*
  33. 33.
    *Cowie builds a shaky Minecraft wither out of cubes*
  34. 34.
    Cowie: now it's a robot. with hands!
  35. 35.
    Clinder: That's just a bunch of cubes you've spray painted
  36. 36.
    Cowie: no. is my bebe. with gray arms and dark orange head!
  37. 37.
    Clinder: It's got your eyes
  38. 38.
    Cowie: thank you :hugging_face:
  39. 39.
    Clinder: That wasn't... Nevermind...
  40. 40.
    Cowie: i mean, if you would've said that it got someone else's eyes, then that would be upsetting. so yeah
  41. 41.
    Clinder: Man cow babies are strange.
  42. 42.
    Cowie: yee, give it a few months and it will turn into a cow
  43. 43.
    Clinder: I don't think it'll last a few months.
  44. 44.
    Cowie: ahahahah come on
  45. 45.
    Clinder: It looks sickly
  46. 46.
    *Cowie accidentally unfreezes the cube, and baby's head falls off.*
  47. 47.
    Cowie: i think i broke it
  48. 48.
    Clinder: ]gasp
  49. 49.
    Cowie: its well and alive
  50. 50.
    Clinder: Barely... alive...
  51. 51.
    Cowie: ahahaha. nah, its alright
  52. 52.
    Clinder: I think your child is scaring Reyrey.
  53. 53.
    Cowie: why?
  54. 54.
    Clinder: He's jumped up onto the couch for higher ground. Honestly it is an ugly baby, I don't blame him. Like mother like child.
  55. 55.
    Cowie: no, my bebe is the best in the world! :cry:
  56. 56.
    Cowie: it can do backflips, you see? very atheletic.
  57. 57.
    Clinder: That is kinda cool.
  58. 58.
    *Reyrey tries to pull the cube baby to the side*
  59. 59.
    Clinder: Reyrey fears the power it contains
  60. 60.
    Cowie: nah, i think rey rey and the bebe are getting along. they're just playing
  61. 61.
    Clinder: I think reyrey is measuring himself against it like a snake. He'll eat your child whole if you lose track of it.
  62. 62.
    Cowie: no he won't. he's a good guy
  63. 63.
    Clinder: I heard Reyrey can dislocate his jaw.
  64. 64.
    Cowie: that's for ingesting pizza
  65. 65.
    Reyrey: USA
  66. 66.
    Clinder: See? He's a snake. "UsssSSssSSsssA."
  67. 67.
    Reyrey: pizza?
  68. 68.
    Cowie: ahahah. do you like pizza?
  69. 69.
    Reyrey: yes
  70. 70.
    Cowie: you see? rey rey loves pizza. so no worries
  71. 71.
    Clinder: Now wait a minute, you're ignoring the most important question. Hey Reyrey, what kind of pizza do you like?
  72. 72.
    Reyrey: yes
  73. 73.
    Cowie: ahahah. you see? its fine. you on the other hand, always want to eat someone, so i sure wouldn't leave a bebe with you
  74. 74.
    Clinder: Hey listen up... You gotta wait for your crops to ripen.
  75. 75.
    Cowie: what's that supposed to mean?
  76. 76.
    Clinder: You said it would turn into a cow, right?
  77. 77.
    Cowie: yeah
  78. 78.
    Clinder: I'll wait until it gets thick like the mother.
  79. 79.
    Cowie: *chuckles* hehe :fearful:
  80. 80.
    Clinder: :cow:
  81. 81.
     
  82. 82.
    Cowie: have you tried eating vegetables? maybe i should get you a nice salad. you'll love it and you won't eat cows no more
  83. 83.
    Clinder: I think vegetables and a plump steak are two different experiences. It's like water and cola
  84. 84.
    Cowie: but if you add some salt, some tomatoes, and some nice pickles
  85. 85.
    Clinder: And beef.
  86. 86.
    Cowie: ehm, no, the beef can play around outside
  87. 87.
    Clinder: Yeah lil' steak malt pieces sprinkled into the salad. Mmmm.
  88. 88.
    Cowie: :(
  89. 89.
    Clinder: :)
  90. 90.
     
  91. 91.
    Reyrey: hey
  92. 92.
    Reyrey: what love?
  93. 93.
    Clinder: Steak
  94. 94.
    Cowie: salad
  95. 95.
     
  96. 96.
    *Cowie serves salad and pancakes*
  97. 97.
    Cowie: give these ones a shot, they are my favorite
  98. 98.
    Clinder: Oh wait of course. How could I forget.
  99. 99.
    *Clinder whips out a steak and puts it on top of pancakes*
  100. 100.
    Cowie: where did you get that? :fearful:
  101. 101.
    Clinder: I sliced the cow playing outside.
  102. 102.
    Cowie: heh... *gulps* now for the full experience... we move away the steak. and replace it with some pancakes. :)
  103. 103.
    *Cowie slowly pushes the steak to the side*
  104. 104.
    Clinder: Careful with your hands.
  105. 105.
    Cowie: sorry
  106. 106.
    *Clinder picks up the steak and throws it on the wall*
  107. 107.
    Cowie: }gasp please don't throw the steak like that! it probably had a family. we should at least bury it
  108. 108.
    Clinder: Oh yeah! It did have a family. It DID.
  109. 109.
    Cowie: what happend to the family?
  110. 110.
    Clinder: They kept begging me to spare their offspring.
  111. 111.
    Cowie: b-but you got what you wanted, why would you touch the family?
  112. 112.
     
  113. 113.
    *Clinder points in a direction of a cow prop and smiles*
  114. 114.
    Clinder: Look they're right there! All healthy and alive!
  115. 115.
    Cowie: ahahah! wut? ahahah! wow
  116. 116.
    Clinder: See? The steak was made outta foam!
  117. 117.
    Cowie: you pranked me real good
  118. 118.
    Clinder: I would never eat a cow! Let along kill one! Good heavens!
  119. 119.
    Cowie: whew. i knew you were a nice pone, i can tell by the eyes
  120. 120.
    *Clinder stares ominously*
  121. 121.
    Cowie: uh. yeah, those are very loving eyes
  122. 122.
    Clinder: :cut_of_meat:
  123. 123.
     
  124. 124.
    *Cowie despawns the cube baby*
  125. 125.
    Clinder: You killed it
  126. 126.
    Cowie: nah, i also played a prank on you. those were just cubes :zany_face:
  127. 127.
    Clinder: ]gasp
  128. 128.
    Clinder: I was lead to believe it was a living breathing chikd.
  129. 129.
    Clinder: -pain
  130. 130.
     
  131. 131.
    Cowie: i feel like you are a writer. always making puns and stuff
  132. 132.
    Clinder: I used to write
  133. 133.
    Cowie: why did you stop?
  134. 134.
    Clinder: I lost my pen. You know how it is.
  135. 135.
    Cowie: ahahah. makes sense

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by BitsBehindCurtain