TEXT   116   0
   1130 6.31 KB    135

GMod Encounter

By BitsBehindCurtain
Created: 2022-05-11 16:57:09
Expiry: Never
ocdarknsfw

  1. Cowie: why are you always so dark, gorloss? are you a demon?
  2. Gorloss: ??
  3. Cowie: idk, your jokes are always edgy
  4. Gorloss: I have never told a dark joke in my life. I attend Church every Sunday.
  5. Cowie: i can tell. you're very christian
  6. Gorloss: Amen sister
  7. Cowie: Amen brother
  8. Cowie: now i feel like a part of a cult after saying that
  9. Gorloss: You'll be receiving the invoice within 5-7 business days
  10. Cowie: i knew this was a bad idea. you have to pay for everything
  11. Gorloss: Monthly.
  12. Cowie: wut? come on!
  13. Gorloss: Should've read the fine print, steak sandwich.
  14. Cowie: }uhoh
  15. Cowie: why would you call me a steak sandwich? you can make steak sandwiches out of regular ingridients. like the ones you can get in a mall
  16. Gorloss: No. I want YOUR steak.
  17. Cowie: :fearful:
  18. Gorloss: It's steak with context and that's what matters. I like to personally know the cows that end up inbetween two slices of bread.
  19. Cowie: i heard that the steak sandwiches made out of regular meet taste better. i mean... imagine grilling a whole cow! das a lot of work. plus the meat wouldn't cook evenly
  20. Gorloss: One day you'll wake up on a grill, covered in sweet chilli sauce.
  21. Cowie: :fearful:
  22. Gorloss: Clearly you'll prep it first. You know... Slicing and dicing? No one eats the whole cow. No one wants a whole cow.
  23. *Cowie gulps*
  24. Gorloss: The people just want that thick, plump ass of yours.
  25. Cowie: heh... come on... you wouldn't slice a cow... *chuckles* a cow can give milk
  26. Gorloss: I would dice a cow.
  27. Cowie: :fearful:
  28. Gorloss: I'd have a nice fresh glass of milk from the very cow I'm about to eat. But don't worry, I'll put your cow bell on the fireplace mantle... With the others.
  29. Cowie: please don't hurt me. *sob* i'll get you the money. i'll pay monthly
  30. Gorloss: Fantastic! Welcome aboard! We have cookies and punch by the door :)
  31.  
  32. *Gorloss turns into a scary Clinder moth OC*
  33. *Cowie builds a shaky Minecraft wither out of cubes*
  34. Cowie: now it's a robot. with hands!
  35. Clinder: That's just a bunch of cubes you've spray painted
  36. Cowie: no. is my bebe. with gray arms and dark orange head!
  37. Clinder: It's got your eyes
  38. Cowie: thank you :hugging_face:
  39. Clinder: That wasn't... Nevermind...
  40. Cowie: i mean, if you would've said that it got someone else's eyes, then that would be upsetting. so yeah
  41. Clinder: Man cow babies are strange.
  42. Cowie: yee, give it a few months and it will turn into a cow
  43. Clinder: I don't think it'll last a few months.
  44. Cowie: ahahahah come on
  45. Clinder: It looks sickly
  46. *Cowie accidentally unfreezes the cube, and baby's head falls off.*
  47. Cowie: i think i broke it
  48. Clinder: ]gasp
  49. Cowie: its well and alive
  50. Clinder: Barely... alive...
  51. Cowie: ahahaha. nah, its alright
  52. Clinder: I think your child is scaring Reyrey.
  53. Cowie: why?
  54. Clinder: He's jumped up onto the couch for higher ground. Honestly it is an ugly baby, I don't blame him. Like mother like child.
  55. Cowie: no, my bebe is the best in the world! :cry:
  56. Cowie: it can do backflips, you see? very atheletic.
  57. Clinder: That is kinda cool.
  58. *Reyrey tries to pull the cube baby to the side*
  59. Clinder: Reyrey fears the power it contains
  60. Cowie: nah, i think rey rey and the bebe are getting along. they're just playing
  61. Clinder: I think reyrey is measuring himself against it like a snake. He'll eat your child whole if you lose track of it.
  62. Cowie: no he won't. he's a good guy
  63. Clinder: I heard Reyrey can dislocate his jaw.
  64. Cowie: that's for ingesting pizza
  65. Reyrey: USA
  66. Clinder: See? He's a snake. "UsssSSssSSsssA."
  67. Reyrey: pizza?
  68. Cowie: ahahah. do you like pizza?
  69. Reyrey: yes
  70. Cowie: you see? rey rey loves pizza. so no worries
  71. Clinder: Now wait a minute, you're ignoring the most important question. Hey Reyrey, what kind of pizza do you like?
  72. Reyrey: yes
  73. Cowie: ahahah. you see? its fine. you on the other hand, always want to eat someone, so i sure wouldn't leave a bebe with you
  74. Clinder: Hey listen up... You gotta wait for your crops to ripen.
  75. Cowie: what's that supposed to mean?
  76. Clinder: You said it would turn into a cow, right?
  77. Cowie: yeah
  78. Clinder: I'll wait until it gets thick like the mother.
  79. Cowie: *chuckles* hehe :fearful:
  80. Clinder: :cow:
  81.  
  82. Cowie: have you tried eating vegetables? maybe i should get you a nice salad. you'll love it and you won't eat cows no more
  83. Clinder: I think vegetables and a plump steak are two different experiences. It's like water and cola
  84. Cowie: but if you add some salt, some tomatoes, and some nice pickles
  85. Clinder: And beef.
  86. Cowie: ehm, no, the beef can play around outside
  87. Clinder: Yeah lil' steak malt pieces sprinkled into the salad. Mmmm.
  88. Cowie: :(
  89. Clinder: :)
  90.  
  91. Reyrey: hey
  92. Reyrey: what love?
  93. Clinder: Steak
  94. Cowie: salad
  95.  
  96. *Cowie serves salad and pancakes*
  97. Cowie: give these ones a shot, they are my favorite
  98. Clinder: Oh wait of course. How could I forget.
  99. *Clinder whips out a steak and puts it on top of pancakes*
  100. Cowie: where did you get that? :fearful:
  101. Clinder: I sliced the cow playing outside.
  102. Cowie: heh... *gulps* now for the full experience... we move away the steak. and replace it with some pancakes. :)
  103. *Cowie slowly pushes the steak to the side*
  104. Clinder: Careful with your hands.
  105. Cowie: sorry
  106. *Clinder picks up the steak and throws it on the wall*
  107. Cowie: }gasp please don't throw the steak like that! it probably had a family. we should at least bury it
  108. Clinder: Oh yeah! It did have a family. It DID.
  109. Cowie: what happend to the family?
  110. Clinder: They kept begging me to spare their offspring.
  111. Cowie: b-but you got what you wanted, why would you touch the family?
  112.  
  113. *Clinder points in a direction of a cow prop and smiles*
  114. Clinder: Look they're right there! All healthy and alive!
  115. Cowie: ahahah! wut? ahahah! wow
  116. Clinder: See? The steak was made outta foam!
  117. Cowie: you pranked me real good
  118. Clinder: I would never eat a cow! Let along kill one! Good heavens!
  119. Cowie: whew. i knew you were a nice pone, i can tell by the eyes
  120. *Clinder stares ominously*
  121. Cowie: uh. yeah, those are very loving eyes
  122. Clinder: :cut_of_meat:
  123.  
  124. *Cowie despawns the cube baby*
  125. Clinder: You killed it
  126. Cowie: nah, i also played a prank on you. those were just cubes :zany_face:
  127. Clinder: ]gasp
  128. Clinder: I was lead to believe it was a living breathing chikd.
  129. Clinder: -pain
  130.  
  131. Cowie: i feel like you are a writer. always making puns and stuff
  132. Clinder: I used to write
  133. Cowie: why did you stop?
  134. Clinder: I lost my pen. You know how it is.
  135. Cowie: ahahah. makes sense

GMod Encounter

by BitsBehindCurtain