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Free Food

By Guest
Created: 2022-05-29 08:20:25
Expiry: Never

  1. An increasingly common sight at markets across Equestria. Empty shelves and stands with eye-opening sticker prices. Customers lining up to get their hooves on whatever they can afford. In the face of a collapsing job market and rising inflation, some, like this former Wonderbolt here, are resorting to what could certainly be called unconventional means of obtaining food. Miss Rainbow Dash, could you explain what you were doing here?
  2.  
  3. Yeah, well, the Wonderbolts laid me off a few months ago and I've been looking for work ever since. Applejack stopped letting me crash at the farm, so I've been sleeping on clouds and raiding dumpsters for food. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff these Canterlot snobs throw out!
  4. I got this donut here, and…
  5.  
  6. Making these bits last, in case you didn't catch that
  7. I'm draggin' through the riffraff, 'cause this year has been that,
  8. a mishap, a bit wack, so bric-a-brac and knickknack's the big fact for Ms. Dash, been stashin' up the mishmash, just pick at bin-bimbap
  9. A spare pan-cake, an errant bake, just takin' my fair catch,
  10. a clear plan, makin' no error
  11. slash breakin' it there just sayin'
  12. One mare's trash saves another mare cash.
  13. Hey!
  14.  
  15. It's free food--to reduce, reuse your refuse
  16. To retool your oats and beet stew
  17. It feeds you plus #MeToo!
  18. Hey!
  19. It's gratis, it's a feast, some rabe gratin
  20. Saving wads of gravy for me
  21. It's my lot; but my way to be
  22.  
  23. Picking up the donuts,
  24. but on whom fell the onus?
  25. where I'm diggin' up the cronuts,
  26. while nobles get their bonus
  27. just trying to get the most of
  28. my dough… nuts! I guess it fell on us
  29. (Ha ha ha)
  30.  
  31. Technically a crime, like the rhyme in the last line,
  32. but I guess that's fine, 'cause you'll need a fast guy to catch mine,
  33. try to match fly the Dash-ie, it's a bad time, real nast-y
  34. No salary, just gathering my calories,
  35. I'm powering my batteries with the chowder thing come hourly
  36. What's the matter G with my gathering, it's not that icky 'cause I'd rather be up a faster speed so let me chow please
  37. It's about the spontaneity--a cake of layered cheese or sriracha mayo aioli. A gourmet OD, tomato leaves or bagel seeds, filet o' things,
  38. I never know what lays for me.
  39. Hey!
  40.  
  41. It's free food--to reduce, reuse your refuse
  42. To retool your oats and beet stew
  43. It feeds you plus #MeToo!
  44. Hey!
  45. It's gratis, it's a feast, some rabe gratin
  46. Saving wads of gravy for me
  47. It's my lot; but my way to be
  48.  
  49. (Ooh, it's free food)
  50.  
  51. Aren't you worried about getting food poisoning?
  52.  
  53. Well, I'm usually pretty good at dealing with that. I've got a strong stomach, and beside that, I've got my eyes, right? So, let's take this apple here.
  54.  
  55. Alright.
  56.  
  57. It's not the most appetizing looking thing, but that just means it's got some extra flavor to it. Now we've got a little bit of mold on this side, right? So I want to make sure that I'm only eating this half of the apple--like so.
  58.  
  59. Wow! You just went for it, didn't you?
  60.  
  61. Mhm.
  62.  
  63. Well, best of luck to you, Rainbow Dash.

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