818 4.5 KB 87
-
1.
>Be Captain Bootleg.
-
2.
>Like Captain Pegleg but with boots
-
3.
>And you were on the run from that dreaded taxman Anon trying to get a piece of yer booty.
-
4.
"Arggg! All hooves at the ready, batten down the hatches, trim the sails, swab the poop deck!"
-
5.
"We need this ship in ship shape if we're to outrun that scurvy dog, Anon!"
-
6.
>You lean over the helm of your ship, watching your crew scurry to and fro.
-
7.
>First mate Fishy Business approaches you from behind.
-
8.
>"We need a plan of action."
-
9.
>"That Anon has been on our tail for the past 3 days, we narrowly escaped from the last port and our supplies will only last so long."
-
10.
>You grab your collapsible telescope and point it out over the aft of the ship.
-
11.
>Just visible over the horizon could be seen the Equestrian flag.
-
12.
>The past 3 days you had been gaining open ocean slowly, but you needed something more to truely get free.
-
13.
"Hmm, let's see."
-
14.
"As long we've got booty to tax, the taxman be sure to follow."
-
15.
>You stop and think for a moment.
-
16.
"But, what if there be no booty to find?"
-
17.
>"I don't follow."
-
18.
"What if we we're to hide the booty?"
-
19.
"Somewhere the taxman would never look."
-
20.
"Then when we get "caught" somewhere down the line, there would be no booty to tax."
-
21.
>A smile spreads across the first mate's face.
-
22.
>"Delightfully devilish captain, but where would we find such a place."
-
23.
>From up above a pony calls down from the crows nest.
-
24.
>"Land-ho!"
-
25.
>"Island up ahead!"
-
26.
"Yarg, I think I've got just the place Fishy."
-
27.
>You shout:
-
28.
"Prepare for landing!"
-
29.
-
30.
>Now anchored off the shore of the isle, you and a small crew depart for it on a raft.
-
31.
>Upon landing:
-
32.
"Get yer diggin' hooves at the ready, this is gonna have to be quick!"
-
33.
>You and the first mate lead the group a short distance away and indicate to begin digging.
-
34.
>Before long a decent sized hole was made.
-
35.
"That's deep enough!"
-
36.
>You shout.
-
37.
"That son of a biscuit eater Anon will never find me booty here."
-
38.
>You turn to the first mate.
-
39.
"Fishy, present the chest."
-
40.
>And he does.
-
41.
>A simple wooden chest that was padded with pillows on the inside.
-
42.
>Reaching towards your aft end, you give a firm pull on your booty.
-
43.
>With a pop, it detaches from the rest of your body leaving a quarter-circular shaped void in your behind.
-
44.
>Without further ado you place it in the chest and close it.
-
45.
"Present the decoy!"
-
46.
>Fishy then presents a wooden rear meant to emulate the shape of your real one.
-
47.
>You place the wooden booty into place and secure it with a belt.
-
48.
"Heh, heh, heh."
-
49.
"That Anonymous will never know it's not the real booty until it's too late."
-
50.
"Quickly!"
-
51.
"Bury the chest and let's set sail!"
-
52.
-
53.
>Be Anon.
-
54.
>Agent of the royal sisters, taxman extraordinaire.
-
55.
>And you have been chasing one Captain Bootleg for the past 3 days in an attempt to recover unpaid taxes.
-
56.
"You may be able to outrun the law, but you can never outrun the taxman."
-
57.
>You say to yourself as you watch her ship from afar.
-
58.
>You may have been slowly loosing ground, but your persistence will pay off.
-
59.
>You knew she must stop at some point, and that appears to be exactly what she's doing right now.
-
60.
"Gotcha."
-
61.
>You set a course directly for the island she's stopped at.
-
62.
>Now rapidly gaining ground with the other ship at a standstill.
-
63.
>But before you could reach her, she was already off.
-
64.
"Such a short stop, what could they have possibly been doing."
-
65.
>You wonder aloud.
-
66.
>Sailing by the now abandoned isle, you look to see any sign of activity.
-
67.
>And sure enough you do.
-
68.
>A recently made pile of sand not too far away from shore.
-
69.
"There's no way she could have seriously buried her treasure there, right?"
-
70.
"That would be too obvious."
-
71.
>But you have been chasing her for several days, and it would be a quicker way to collect taxes if it checked out.
-
72.
"I suppose I will investigate, shouldn't take too long just to check."
-
73.
>Like the other ship, you anchor just off the coast and rowboat your way on land.
-
74.
>Investigating the sand pile, you find a wooden chest not too far under the surface.
-
75.
"Well that was easy, it's not even locked."
-
76.
>You open the chest and what you find surprises you.
-
77.
"Last I checked the government doesn't accept payment in ass."
-
78.
"On the other hand..."
-
79.
-
80.
>Back on Captain Bootleg's ship
-
81.
>Where celebration is happening after having successfully duped their pursuer.
-
82.
>And you are in the middle of giving your crew a victory speech.
-
83.
"...and thanks to all of you we have finally..."
-
84.
>You suddenly go quiet, face pale.
-
85.
>Fishy Business quickly rushes to your side.
-
86.
>"Captain, what's wrong?"
-
87.
"Shiver me timbers, I think Anonymous has found me booty."
by afterpaste
by afterpaste
by afterpaste
by afterpaste
by afterpaste