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>Be Captain Bootleg.
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>Like Captain Pegleg but with boots
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>And you were on the run from that dreaded taxman Anon trying to get a piece of yer booty.
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"Arggg! All hooves at the ready, batten down the hatches, trim the sails, swab the poop deck!"
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"We need this ship in ship shape if we're to outrun that scurvy dog, Anon!"
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>You lean over the helm of your ship, watching your crew scurry to and fro.
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>First mate Fishy Business approaches you from behind.
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>"We need a plan of action."
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>"That Anon has been on our tail for the past 3 days, we narrowly escaped from the last port and our supplies will only last so long."
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>You grab your collapsible telescope and point it out over the aft of the ship.
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>Just visible over the horizon could be seen the Equestrian flag.
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>The past 3 days you had been gaining open ocean slowly, but you needed something more to truely get free.
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"Hmm, let's see."
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"As long we've got booty to tax, the taxman be sure to follow."
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>You stop and think for a moment.
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"But, what if there be no booty to find?"
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>"I don't follow."
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"What if we we're to hide the booty?"
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"Somewhere the taxman would never look."
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"Then when we get "caught" somewhere down the line, there would be no booty to tax."
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>A smile spreads across the first mate's face.
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>"Delightfully devilish captain, but where would we find such a place."
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>From up above a pony calls down from the crows nest.
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>"Land-ho!"
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>"Island up ahead!"
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"Yarg, I think I've got just the place Fishy."
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>You shout:
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"Prepare for landing!"
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>Now anchored off the shore of the isle, you and a small crew depart for it on a raft.
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>Upon landing:
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"Get yer diggin' hooves at the ready, this is gonna have to be quick!"
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>You and the first mate lead the group a short distance away and indicate to begin digging.
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>Before long a decent sized hole was made.
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"That's deep enough!"
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>You shout.
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"That son of a biscuit eater Anon will never find me booty here."
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>You turn to the first mate.
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"Fishy, present the chest."
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>And he does.
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>A simple wooden chest that was padded with pillows on the inside.
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>Reaching towards your aft end, you give a firm pull on your booty.
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>With a pop, it detaches from the rest of your body leaving a quarter-circular shaped void in your behind.
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>Without further ado you place it in the chest and close it.
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"Present the decoy!"
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>Fishy then presents a wooden rear meant to emulate the shape of your real one.
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>You place the wooden booty into place and secure it with a belt.
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"Heh, heh, heh."
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"That Anonymous will never know it's not the real booty until it's too late."
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"Quickly!"
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"Bury the chest and let's set sail!"
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>Be Anon.
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>Agent of the royal sisters, taxman extraordinaire.
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>And you have been chasing one Captain Bootleg for the past 3 days in an attempt to recover unpaid taxes.
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"You may be able to outrun the law, but you can never outrun the taxman."
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>You say to yourself as you watch her ship from afar.
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>You may have been slowly loosing ground, but your persistence will pay off.
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>You knew she must stop at some point, and that appears to be exactly what she's doing right now.
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"Gotcha."
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>You set a course directly for the island she's stopped at.
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>Now rapidly gaining ground with the other ship at a standstill.
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>But before you could reach her, she was already off.
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"Such a short stop, what could they have possibly been doing."
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>You wonder aloud.
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>Sailing by the now abandoned isle, you look to see any sign of activity.
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>And sure enough you do.
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>A recently made pile of sand not too far away from shore.
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"There's no way she could have seriously buried her treasure there, right?"
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"That would be too obvious."
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>But you have been chasing her for several days, and it would be a quicker way to collect taxes if it checked out.
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"I suppose I will investigate, shouldn't take too long just to check."
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>Like the other ship, you anchor just off the coast and rowboat your way on land.
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>Investigating the sand pile, you find a wooden chest not too far under the surface.
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"Well that was easy, it's not even locked."
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>You open the chest and what you find surprises you.
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"Last I checked the government doesn't accept payment in ass."
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"On the other hand..."
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>Back on Captain Bootleg's ship
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>Where celebration is happening after having successfully duped their pursuer.
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>And you are in the middle of giving your crew a victory speech.
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"...and thanks to all of you we have finally..."
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>You suddenly go quiet, face pale.
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>Fishy Business quickly rushes to your side.
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>"Captain, what's wrong?"
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"Shiver me timbers, I think Anonymous has found me booty."
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