GREEN
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3195 17.56 KB 282
3195 17.56 KB 282
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Pasted from SpentAnon’s Pastebin, if he request this to be taken down I will oblige
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PROMPT: Picture of Apple Bloom with a sweater, skirt, boots and scarf in cold weather standing in front of a door with her hands out in a ‘what’ gesture with an open smile, Applejack’s feet are seen outside
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“Uncle Anon!”
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*hugs you around your waist, almost knocking you down*
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------------------------
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>"Uncle Anon!"
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>Be Unbalanced Anon
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>You knew the whole Apple Family would be coming, hell, you invited them over for some Christmas Eve dinner
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>But you weren't expecting to be nearly tackled to the floor after opening your door a crack
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"Heya Bloom!"
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>Returning the hug, you look down to see her smiling face beaming at you, her chin nestled softly in your stomach
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>Daaaaw...
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>"Thanks fer hosting us Anon, it was mighty kind of you!”
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>”Eeyup.”
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>”And we din’t come emptah handed neither!”
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>Looking up at the rest of your guests, you see Applejack and Big Mac, near spitting images of Pear Butter and Bright Mac respectively
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>You know they’d be proud of who they’ve become
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>And following in the rear is good ‘ol Granny Smith carrying her special apple pies
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“Granny, I would’ve made some pie, but we both know who’d win.”
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>”Oh hush, just finally admit it ‘nd quit lyin to yerself.”
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“Only when you’re able to see the truth for what it is.”
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>”HEH HA!”
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>Taking both of the pies from her hands, you lean into her warm embrace
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“It’s always good to see you.”
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>”Same here sweetie.”
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“I still want that recipe though.”
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>”Well, ye ain’t gettin it, ‘cause ev’ry time you have an apple pie, you’ll be thinkin’ of me and wishing you had some-uv-mine.”
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>Released from her grip, you try taking a couple of steps to your kitchen but quickly remember that something’s hooked to your hip
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“Hey Apple Bloom?”
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>”Yeah Uncle Anon?”
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“You wanna help me take these pies to the kitchen?”
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>”Sure!”
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>Apple Bloom jumps off of your waist and holds out both hands, cocking her head to the side slightly with a small grin
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“Wow, you seem taller since I last saw you. How big are you now?” you say as you gingerly place one of the pies in her hands
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>”I’m 5’ 6”!”
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“My my, soon you’ll be as big as your sister!”
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>”I know!”
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>Stepping into the kitchen, you both set the pies down in an empty space on your counter
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“Hey Bloom, can you do something for me?”
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>”Sure.”
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>Turning your head, you check the area around you quickly to see if anybody’s looking
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>Seeing nobody around, you lean down and cup her ear in your hand and softly whisper so no one but her can hear
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“~I need some help finishing the food-”
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>”Say no more, I’ll help.”
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>Pulling away from her ear, you smile at her eagerness to help and pat her head
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“Well that was easy. I just need some help with your favorite-”
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>”Cider? No wait, cherry strudel!”
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“Nope.”
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>”Pound cake?”
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“Still no.”
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>”Rice pudding?”
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“Bingo,” you say as you lightly poke her nose, “can you get the ingredients while I-”
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>Before you could finish your sentence, she darts to your fridge and pantry, pulling out the milk, rice and corn starch
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>Seeing this, you know what to do
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>Slowly, you start getting everything you need
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>”C’mon Uncle Anon!”
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>Teasing her further, you take out a pot and gradually set it on the stove at a sloth-like pace
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>”Ugh, Uncle Anon…”
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>Having set the pot on the burner, you turn the knob to heat it up
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“Alright, you go ahead and make this while I check on everything else, ok?”
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>”Y’want me to make it ALONE?”
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“Bloom, how many times have you made it before?”
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>”...”
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“And where will I be?”
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>”...in the kitchen with me…”
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“You can do it Appy, besides,” placing a hand on her shoulder, you give it a quick squeeze, “you’ll be able to make it yourself from now on.”
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>Returning your smile, she begins to commandeer the pudding-making efforts
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>Sidling up beside her, you check your signature gravy by dipping a finger into the mixture and plopping it in your mouth
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>Semi-thick, salty and rich, just like how Papanon made it
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>Giving it a quick stir, you check the timer for the ham, turkey and green bean casserole and notice that you have around forty five minutes left
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>That’s just enough time to make some stuffing and mac & cheese
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>You yourself go off and get the ingredients for the two remaining dishes and begin to make a roux
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>As you have the beginnings of a bechamel sauce and turn to start the stuffing, you feel something bump into your side
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>”Sorry!”
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>Oh, you can’t let this crime go unpunished
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>Swaying from side-to-side, you assault her by bumping her with the side of your hip
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>”What-Anon!”
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“What, you don’t like my dancing?” you say as you now start waving your hands in the air like you just don’t care
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>When she moves away from you, you follow her
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>”That about darn does it!”
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>Surprised at her outburst, you don’t expect to be greeted in the same fashion that you’ve been treating her
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>All that manages to do is make you laugh with Apple Bloom following soon after
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>Returning to your duties, the both of you eventually complete your tasks
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>Pulling out the main courses and side dish from the oven, you turn and see her placing the small dishes with the pudding in the fridge
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“All right, that about does it. Wanna go off and tell them dinner’s ready?”
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>”Aye, aye, Non-Non!”
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>As soon as she bolts out of the kitchen, you rush to the gravy and use the ladle to fish out the turkey’s gizzard and liver
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“C’mon, c’mon-” the moment you think you’ve got the liver, it plops back into the sauce, “-dammit…”
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>”-bout time, I was gettin’ mighty hungry!”
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>shitshitshitYES
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>Having gotten both the liver and gizzard in one go, you rush the ladle to the trash can and dump it, not caring if the gravy spills on the ground
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>Rushing back to the pot, you unfortunately slide across the slick tile
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>Before falling on your ass, you pull off a rather impressive move, sliding to the pot, dropping the ladle in and then, with the dexterity of a flopping fish out of water that’s starting its own mosh pit, you crash to the ground
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>You think you feel your tailbone being pushed through your asshole
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>”-nd I thought-ANON!”
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>You’ve fallen and you can’t get up
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>Thankfully, Big Mac and Applejack are here to haul your sorry ass back to an upright position
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>”Ya need ta be more careful Anon.”
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>”Eeyup.”
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>”Quit yer yappin! He may not be a youngin, but he’s still spry!”
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“What Gran Gran said.” you say as you massage your sore glutes
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>Fuck, why does it feel like a horse rode you for hours on end?
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>”Are you ok Uncle Anon?”
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>Looking down, you don’t see a lively Apple Bloom, but one that’s tearing up
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“Of course I’m fine sweetie,” you say as you cup her face, “it takes a lot more than a little bump to hurt me.”
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>Promptly booping her nose and ruffling her hair, you start getting the plates out
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“Now, who’s hungry?”
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>With everyone getting their plates and piling them with a heaping amount of food, you sit down at your dining table and dig in
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>Even though your rear payed a price oh so dear, you’re thankful you got the giblets out in time
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>Apple Bloom would’ve screamed in revelation of your ‘secret ingredients’
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>”It’s so good! Uncle Non, what’s your secret?”
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“I don’t know how many times I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: love.”
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>”Ugh…”
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>Enjoying the lamentations of a youth’s unanswered question, you savor the cacophony of flavors present
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>You might not have the talent of cooking like Papanon or baking like Mamanon, but you hold your own
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“How’s football practice Mac?”
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>”Fine.”
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>Young man of few words
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>Hell, when he was younger, he couldn’t pipe down
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>But after your friends passed, he got quiet
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>... it still doesn’t feel right and you don’t think you’ll ever get used to it
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“That’s good to hear. How’s school for you Applejack?”
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>”I think I might’ve made a new friend.”
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“Oh really? What’s their name?”
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>”Rainbow Dash.”
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“Wait, ain’t that the gal you hate so much?”
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>”Well… yeah. She’s cocky, arrogant and an all ‘round blowhard, but she’s fun and alright.”
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“As long as you two don’t get into any trouble, then that’s good. What about you Bloom?”
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>”Scoots, Sweetie and I went to the planetarium for a field trip! It was so cool! We looked through this large telescope scope and-oooooh, oooooooh wait! We also saw this awesome display of the planets in the solar system and-”
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>Holding onto her every word, you grin at her depictions of one of her daily adventures
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>It reminds you of how you were when you were her age
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>Oh, the joys of being in middle school without a care in the world
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>”-so got ice cream for astronauts! Did you know that Pluto ain’t a planet?”
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>You can already tell where this is going
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>”Pluto is a planet darnit!”
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>”That’s not what the teacher said, Granny.”
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>”Well, back in mah day, we-”
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“Who wants some dessert!”
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>”I do!”
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>”Eeyup!”
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>Applejack and Big Mac jump on the enticing bandwagon of sweetness, helping derail a potentially tiresome familial argument
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>Grabbing everyone’s plates, you go into the kitchen and place them in the sink
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>Pulling out some bowls, you dish the pie out and serve it à la mode
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>”What about the rice pudding Uncle Anon?”
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>Patting her head, you pinch her cheek
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“We’ll have it, it just needs to cool down and chill, don’t worry.”
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>Moving everybody to the living room, you sit down in your comfy chair with Apple Bloom planting her rear in between your leg and the armrest soon after
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>Before you grab the remote, you look down at her in curiosity and see her staring up at you with a dopey grin, kicking her legs not out of joy, but pure contentedness
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>Pulling her a bit closer and tickling her, she giggles as you turn on the t.v. and play one of the Christmas specials
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>”So it’s one of ‘em moov’en picturs, eh?”
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“Yup.”
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>You have a bite of the pie and feel like you’re on cloud nine
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“Granny, I have no idea how you do it, but somehow your pies get better and better each time you make them.”
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>”Are you sayin my pies tasted like garbage before?”
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“Your words, not mine, and I’m glad you’re finally listening to reason.”
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>Chuckling softly to herself, she gives you a wink in approval
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>”Uncle ‘Non, can we share our presents?”
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>Without looking at her, you peck her on the cheek
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“Wait until tomorrow, then we can share Bloom.”
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>”Ok…”
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>The rest of the short night is spent watching cartoons and talking about life and soon enough, it’s late
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>After you all get up and stretch, you direct Granny Smith to your bedroom and the other Apples to the spare
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>”Where will you sleep Uncle Anon?”
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“I’m gonna stay up and do some work, I’ve been slacking anyways.”
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>”Ok!”
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>Sending them off, they all go to bed which leaves just you
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>Going into your home office, you start to grade your student’s end-of-semester papers
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“-back in eighteen forty-it’s nineteen forty five you fucking nonce…
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>Throwing your head into your hands in frustration, you decide to sift through the papers and do the best ones first
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>Awful… drivel… what is THIS garbage!
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>No matter how much you fight with the principal, she just won’t let you give the kids an honest grade and try to help them
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>It’s all just ‘keep giving them tests’ and ‘give them mountains of extra credit’ bullshit
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>Thankfully, there’s a rumor going around that there will be a change in leadership soon
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>You hope that change includes the vice principal, he’s a daft tool
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“I need a drink.”
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>Opening one of the drawers to your desk, you pop open the false bottom and retrieve a flask of good boy juice and have a swig
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>Mmmmmm, muuuuuuch better…
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>Putting it away, you continue sifting through the papers, finding a couple noteworthy ones from your usual star students
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>Over time, your eyelids begin to get heavier and heavier, and it isn’t long before you drift off to a cozy slumber
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>Waking up with a sore back, you think you hear something coming from your living room
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>Standing up and stretching out, you yawn and groggily make your way to the source of the noise
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>You could go for a glass of water anyways
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>As you get closer, the sounds are easier to discern
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>”-yes! Yes! Just like that!”
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>Before your brain is able to make the connection, you step out from the hall and witness a sight that you will never be able to scrub from your mind
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>Laid out on a chair, and not just any chair, but YOUR COMFY CHAIR, is a naked Applejack silently schlicking away with her eyes closed, huffing softly and bathed in light
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>At least she had the forethought to put a towel down first and you can only guess what is on the t.v.
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>...
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>You were her age once too, and you’re thankful she hasn’t noticed you yet
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>Turning around, as you try to slink back to your room, you hear an audible gasp and a sudden deafening silence
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>...
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>Continuing on your way knowing that you’ve embarrassed her enough already, you sit back down in your chair and feign being asleep
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>Now, you wait
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>...
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>A couple minutes pass before you hear your door crack open briefly
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>”It was all in my head? He really is asleep?”
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>Mere seconds pass before the door closes
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>You thought she’d do that because it’s exactly what you had done before too
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>Moments later, you hear the t.v. turn on again
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>Putting a hand over your mouth, you fail to suppress your laughter
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“Holy shit, already? Was I that horny of a little shit too?”
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>After chuckling for a good while, you get your flask out and have another drink
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>Dammit, you’re gonna have to have ‘the talk’ with her sooner rather than later…
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>Sighing, you stow the flask back in its spot and try to get comfy and snooze until morning
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>”Uncle Anon!”
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>You feel a pressure on your arm that’s trying its damndest to shake you awake
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>”Un-cle An-on!”
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“Five more minutes…”
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>Despite your feeble protest, the rocking of your arm continues
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“Alright, I’m getting up…”
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>Opening your eyes, you see Apple Bloom holding a present with a green ribbon on top of it giving you a beaming smile
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>”Open it!”
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>Taking the small box from her hands, you undo the bow and reveal the contents of the gift
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>It’s a small sheet of paper with what looks like a poem on it
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///////
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>’Over hill and under sky,’
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>’There’s a man who wears a tie.’
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>’When I am sad or down or blue,’
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>’He’s always there beside me too.’
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>’He holds me close, knows what to say,’
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>’To keep my tears and fears at bay.’
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>’He’ll kiss my cheek and say I’m tough,’
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>’And no matter what, that I’m enough.’
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>’When all is said, and all is done,’
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>’We’ll both go off and have some fun.’
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>’Superheroes, villains and comics galore!’
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>’We’ll play all day and then play some more!’
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>’I say this lots ‘cause I know it’s true,’
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>’You’re family Anon, I’ll always love you!’
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///////
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>”Whaddaya think?”
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>All you’re able to do is pull her close into a tight hug
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“I love you too Bloomie.”
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>You’re not gonna cry
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>That’s not a tear rolling down your face, it’s just sweat from appreciating how great your niece is!
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>No matter how hard you try, you can’t lie to yourself
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>Pulling away from her, you wipe away the manly tear you had just shed
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“Thank you sweetie, I love it.”
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>Instead of her usual reaction of fist pumps or jumping with joy, she continues to hold her warm smile
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“C’mon, I gotta show you my gift to you now.”
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>Setting down the poem, you take her hand and guide her to the living room
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“Now sit down and keep your eyes closed, ok?”
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>”Ok!”
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>Running to your garage, you take out a length of old red ribbon from a small cardboard box
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>It belonged to the woman who you consider your sister
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>You remember nabbing it from her when you were in middle school and how she became absolutely livid because she thought a certain boy took it
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>Who knew you swiping her precious bow as a prank would lead to her falling in love?
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>Sighing from memories past, you carefully stuff the ribbon in your back pocket and walk back to the living room to see Apple Bloom trying to peek through tiny slits
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“Remember Appy, no peeking.”
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>Moving behind her, you take out the ribbon and weave it into her hair as she giggles
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>”What are you doing-”
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“Shhhh, you’ll see.”
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>Finishing up, you cinch the knot and complete the bow
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“Alright, I’ll guide you to the bathroom, don’t open your eyes yet!”
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>Getting her to the bathroom, you flip on the lights and position her in front of the mirror
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“Ok, open your eyes!”
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>It takes a moment, but when Apple Bloom opens her eyes, the corners of her mouth dart upwards
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>”IT’S SO-”
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“Shhh, not so loud!”
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>”it’s so cute, I’m gonna wear it everyday! How’d you get this?”
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>Looking into the mirror, you feel as if you’re past stands before you
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“Lets just say someone who I love just as much as you let me have it long ago.”
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>”I love you Uncle Anon” she says as she turns on a dime and nearly tackles you to the floor
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“I love you too, Apple Bloom.”
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>After enjoying this special moment between you and your niece, you both go into the kitchen and have another
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>As you pull out the little dishes of rice pudding, Apple Bloom jumps up and down, her bow bouncing with her
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>Taking out some cinnamon, you sprinkle a healthy amount on top of both dishes
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>Grabbing some spoons, you sit down in your comfy chair with her in your lap as you both savor the sweetness of the dessert
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-FIN
by MemeMasterAssBlaster
by MemeMasterAssBlaster
by MemeMasterAssBlaster
by MemeMasterAssBlaster
by MemeMasterAssBlaster