Ponies Fell From the Sky (39000447)


                                            >You are Anon

                                            >Enjoying your morning coffee when suddenly the city starts to quake

                                            >You go outside to see what the commotion is all about

                                            >Neighbors all around doing the same like one of those scenes in a superhero movie when the invaders strike

                                            >You look up, it's raining mares (hallelujah)

                                            >Brightly colored pones drop from the sky, pinning human males under them with airy pomfs

                                            >A nice soft plot suddenly lands in your face as you're thrown to the ground

                                            >"Hi, I'm Pinkie and I'm your designated waifu! Surrender is mandatory!"

                                            >You are Anon and you've got coffee on your tie and pony all over your shirt

                                            >Gonna be late to work again this morning

                                            >"Initiating snu-snus!"

                                            >Also gonna need new underwear

                                            ...

                                            >"Anonymous. Late to work again I see."

                                            >Your boss stands there with an unamused look on his face

                                            "I'm sorry sir, b-but the ponies-"

                                            >"No excuses, Anon."

                                            "Sir, one is clinging to your shirt and humping your stomach as we speak."

                                            >"And I didn't let that stop me from coming into work, so neither should you."

                                            "Yes sir..."

                                            >"You're on thin ice, Anonymous."

                                            >You trudge through the office past various cubicles where your coworkers are moaning from being lewded by the tiny pastel horses

                                            >And everyone is treating this like just another obstacle to their day

                                            >It's like that hentai The Polinic Girls Attack, except with equines

                                            >You flop in your swivel chair and get to work as the pink pony you found yourself carting around all day continues bobbing on your knob

                                            "Damn it, where did I put that spreadsheet."

                                            >"Here you go!"

                                            "Oh, thanks."

                                            >You take the paperwork from the outstretched hoof and return to work

                                            >At this point you can't even nut anymore and your new assistant is laying on your desk and licking the cum off her hooves like a cat

                                            "Could you hand me that file?"

                                            >"How about a cupcake instead? You look hungry."

                                            "Shit, is it lunchtime already?"

                                            >You check your watch and grab the cupcake as you walk towards the employee lounge to grab another cup of coffee

                                            >On the TV overhead the news is reporting the incident with ponies happening all over the world

                                            >"You hearing this, Anon? They're shutting down major military operations. We may finally have peace in the middle east."

                                            "Yeah yeah, I bet that'll last all of two hours before we're going back in for oil, clout or both."

                                            >"We're going to fuck the hatred and intolerance out of you humans if it's the last thing we do, mister!" Pinkie pipes up

                                            >"Hey, that your own pony? Gotta say, the wife was shocked when one just tumbled into our backyard and started raping me. Damn near scared the kids! Sent all the dogs in the neighborhood barking up a storm too."

                                            >"Hiya Dash!"

                                            >"Hey Pinkie!"

                                            "I just wish they'd move clear of the road before I have to scrape one off my bumper."

                                            >You open the office mini-fridge to find your sandwich missing

                                            "God damn it, Greg. I wrote my name on both the front AND back this time!"

                                            >"Don't blame me this time."

                                            >"Heh, sorry dude, was getting kinda hungry from all the awesome fucking I've been doing." the rainbow maned pegasus speaks up

                                            >Fucking ponies, man

                                            ...

                                            "Let's see... carrots, onions, celery, cucum-"

                                            >You look down at what you picked up just to come face to face with a minty mare

                                            >"Please take me home with you!"

                                            >You sigh and put her back on the shelf

                                            >"Aww."

                                            >You continue with your shopping while the pink pony fills your cart with all sorts of sweets like a rambunctious child

                                            >She even adds some condoms, but assures you they're for making funny balloon animals with and that you're not going to be using them for their intended purpose

                                            >[Clean up on isle five. Clean up on isle five]

                                            >You look over to see some poor sap slipping on mare juice

                                            >And a mare putting down a caution cone while performing CPR on the downed patron

                                            >You're pretty sure humping is not how you perform chest compressions but you're not exactly a doctor

                                            >Passing by the deli, you see another man being wrestled to the ground by several angry mares

                                            >"No! Stop! I'm gay!"

                                            >"Not tonight you aren't."

                                            >"No more sausages for you, buddy."

                                            >"The only meat on your future menu is clam!"

                                            >"But I like faggots!"

                                            >The mares ignore his pleas as the meatballs spill out of his basket and roll across the floor, along with his spaghetti

                                            >Finally you make your way to check-out

                                            >"Paper or plastic?"

                                            "Plastic, please."

                                            >You take out your card

                                            >"Sorry, we're not accepting credit cards at the moment."

                                            "God damn it, fine."

                                            >You pull out some bills

                                            >"We're not accepting cash either."

                                            "What the fuck?"

                                            >You look up to see a mare behind the register

                                            >She spreads her mouth wide with her hooves

                                            >"Please deposit your semen for this transaction."

                                            "And uh, how much would you need to cover everything?"

                                            >"Enough to make my belly distend and wobble like an overripe grape."

                                            >You let out an explosive sigh and fish your dick out of your pants

                                            "Fucking inflation is ridiculous."

                                            ...

                                            >Parking in your driveway, you make a note to get your car washed later

                                            >Ponies kept falling from the sky, several smacking into your window

                                            >One even tried getting inside the vehicle

                                            >"Dude! Let me in! I'm a fairy!"

                                            >You turned on the windshield wipers and kept driving

                                            >After that harrowing experience, your car was now splattered in various bodily fluids and smelling like crusty sweat socks

                                            >Looking over the hedge, you see your neighbor watering his lawn and waving at you while spraying down a yellow pegasus every time she gets too close

                                            >"Fine weather we're having today, huh?"

                                            >You look up at the sky that's still raining ponies

                                            "Yeah, sure. You gonna need any help with that?"

                                            >"Nah, I got it covered."

                                            >"Are wet mares your fetish, Steve?"

                                            >"No Fluttershy, wet mares are not my fetish."

                                            >He hits her with the hose again

                                            "Watering the ponies or the posies?"

                                            >He laughs and the mare turns to answer

                                            >"Oh no, Posey is my cousin. We look very much alike, so it's easy to get us confused."

                                            >The two of you stare at the pegasus before Steve hits her with the hose for a third time

                                            >"No one cares, Fluttershy."

                                            >"Is-"

                                            >"Bullying is not my fetish either."

                                            >She yelps as the spraying doesn't stop this time

                                            >Hefting the groceries out of the back of your car, you make your way inside, wiping your shoes on your new, suspiciously pony looking welcome mat and tossing your jacket on an oddly unicorn-shaped coat rack

                                            >The greatest and most powerful coat rack, if what it mumbles back at you is any indication

                                            >Huh, didn't expect that type of quality from Ikea

                                            "So, pink thing. Anything you feel like eating tonight?"

                                            >"You!"

                                            "Besides me."

                                            >"Um, pasta alfredo?"

                                            "I didn't pick up any alfredo. Or chicken, for that matter."

                                            >"That's okay, I can just suck your dick and get the same experience!"

                                            "Cute, but how about something else?"

                                            >"Darn, and here I wanted some meat."

                                            "I thought ponies didn't-"

                                            >She grins at you

                                            "Never mind. How about a salad?"

                                            >"Sure! I'll toss it for you!"

                                            "Alright, coo-"

                                            >She grins again

                                            "God damn it."

                                            >Flip on the TV, using Pinkie Pie's head as a tray for your dinner since she decided to sit in your lap

                                            >Unfortunately your tray keeps moving up and down and you end up spilling your coffee several times

                                            >It's equally unfortunate as your coffee maker seems to be on the fritz

                                            >You kept pressing the button to turn it off, but all it did was moan and drip even more

                                            >"My fellow Americans."

                                            >The program switches to a state of address from the president

                                            >Before he can say any more, his face is smothered in the ass of a giant white mare with a sun on her flanks

                                            >"My fellow Equestrians."

                                            >Blah, blah, blah, it seems your country has a new leader now

                                            >That's neat, but fuck politics

                                            >Apparently she agrees, fuck politics and fuck the politicians... oh, she meant that literally

                                            >She declares her intention to take over the world like a Saturday morning cartoon villain

                                            >You don't even have to wonder how North Korea is taking it, as the feed switches over to the various leaders of the world, you see Kim Jong Jitsu being smothered by an equally impressive mare with a moon on her flanks

                                            >The war between Russia and Not-Russia has been put on hold as ponies are being fired out of cannons at the retreating soldiers

                                            >"I helped design those!"

                                            "Should I be concerned I have a war criminal in my house?"

                                            >"Do you really care?"

                                            "Good point. I'm fresh out of fucks to give."

                                            >"Because I've been taking them all?"

                                            "Give them back. Give me back my fucks."

                                            >"No!"

                                            ...

                                            >In bed after a long day of skullduggery and ponefuckery

                                            >Is that redundant? Probably

                                            >Cuddling your gubment benefits

                                            >You roll over and turn out the lights

                                            >After several moments of trying to go to sleep, you feel a sudden heaviness weighing on you

                                            >Turning the lights back on, you're surprised to find your coat rack snuggled up on your chest

                                            >Turning off the lights again, you try to get comfortable with this new arrangement when you feel more shifting of the sheets

                                            >Sighing and turning the lights back on, you find even more home appliances piled up on your bed

                                            >The toaster, the toilet brush, the coffee pot, your slippers and even your lawnmower

                                            >When did they get all these girly stickers on them?

                                            >Did a child break into your house while you were away?

                                            >You always knew those Girl Scouts were bad news

                                            >Whatever, you need to get some shuteye for tomorrow or the boss will have your ass out on the sidewalk

                                            >Trying once again to get some sleep, you're on the edge of unconsciousness when your bloodshot eyes snap open and a realization rocks your brain

                                            >Those aren't household items

                                            >Your bed is covered in ponies

                                            >A considerable snuggle pile of cuties

                                            >All you can do is stare at the adorable bundles of fluff and wonder how you didn't notice the mare mimics sooner

                                            >You don't remember ponies being one of the ten plagues of Egypt

                                            >Then again, you wouldn't be surprised if God decided to fuck with you after inhaling all that burning bush from the stoners in the supermarket parking lot earlier

                                            "How did I not notice you all sooner?"

                                            >"Probably because the salmon shaded semen slurper kept distracting you with her oral ministrations" your toilet brush responds

                                            "You mean the constant talking or the constant sucking?"

                                            >"Yes."

                                            >Fair enough

                                            "And you two, you're not my slippers. Wait, I recognize you... you're that pony from back at the store!"

                                            >"Yup! I followed you home! And this is my friend who was hiding among the peaches!"

                                            "How even... I did use you as slippers, right?"

                                            >They both blush

                                            >"Well, that's not the first time I've had something odd in my backside."

                                            "Wha-"

                                            >"I've been used as a wallet, a pencil sharpener, a cozy hat, a boxing glove-"

                                            "That's enough Swiss Army Pone, I don't need to hear any more."

                                            >"I make muffins!"

                                            "Thank you, miss toaster."

                                            >"My name is Derpy!"

                                            "You don't have to tell me it, then."

                                            >"But-"

                                            "You okay there, toilet scrubber?"

                                            >She has a thousand yard stare in her eyes

                                            >"I've seen some shit."

                                            "Right. And you, how do you plan to mow my lawn?"

                                            >The 'lawnmower' rolls over and smiles up at you

                                            >"Grazing. Lots and lots of grazing."

                                            "And you're okay with that?"

                                            >"Eh, it's a living."

                                            >God damn Flintstones pones

                                            >Finally you turn to the one nestled on your chest

                                            "Well, you do hold a coat quite well."

                                            >"Obviously, there is no task Trrrrrixie cannot overcome!"

                                            "Except have a second horn to hang my hat on."

                                            >"...Buck."

                                            >The covers lift up, revealing your self-designated cock cozy

                                            >"By the way, you may not want to use your swimming pool any time soon."

                                            "And why's that?"

                                            >"You'll be drowning in mare pussy."

                                            >Laying back down, you sigh for the upteenth time that day and turn off the lights

                                            >Gonna have to get out your pool skimmer and unclog the drains tomorrow

                                            "Goodnight, girls."

                                            >"Goodnight, Nonny! Don't let the bedmares bite!"

                                            >Several glowing, lustful eyes shine back at you from the darkness, one pair crossed and confused

                                            >You may as well add finding new employment to your mental checklist while you're at it


                                            Meanwhile, in the Middle East...

                                            ">Ra-"

                                            >">Rape"

                                            "By Allah, she's stolen my favorite trick!"

                                            >"Attention citizens, you're now under Ponia law! No human male shall be allowed outside without the escort of a mare! Those breaking the law... will just be raped by other mares, really. But it would cause some confusion and hurt feelings, so it would be super keen if you didn't."

                                            "We have harems in this country!"

                                            >"Awesome!"

                                            >Several of the ponies dawn their suicide snuggle vests and jump the humans, exploding in a flurry of confetti, glitter and horse pussy