PB Jar


                                            1.
                                            
                                                Hey, Twilight!

                                            2.
                                            
                                                Can you help me open this jar?

                                            3.
                                            
                                                Sure thing!

                                            4.
                                            
                                                That’s funny. Why won’t it open?

                                            5.
                                            
                                                Hmm...

                                            6.

                                            7.
                                            
                                                It was Tuesday morning on a shopping trip in Ponyville,

                                            8.
                                            
                                                Spike and I had gone out and made a purchase of a fancy new quill,

                                            9.
                                            
                                                When a mare came up to me by the name of Amethyst Star,

                                            10.
                                            
                                                And she asked me to simply try to open up this peanut butter, peanut butter jar,

                                            11.

                                            12.
                                            
                                                I lit up my horn; it seemed so basic at first,

                                            13.
                                            
                                                An action so easily and often rehearsed,

                                            14.
                                            
                                                But it was quite vexing; even wrote a song, as you see,

                                            15.
                                            
                                                ‘Cause the lid wouldn't budge; not a single degree,

                                            16.

                                            17.
                                            
                                                Peanut butter, a peanut butter jar, peanut butter, peanut butter, can’t open,

                                            18.
                                            
                                                Peanut butter, a peanut butter jar, peanut butter, peanut butter, can’t open,

                                            19.

                                            20.
                                            
                                                Are you kidding me?

                                            21.
                                            
                                                It’s just a stupid jar!

                                            22.
                                            
                                                What the heck?

                                            23.

                                            24.
                                            
                                                Such a simple task; it seemed easy to do,

                                            25.
                                            
                                                But my horn wasn't enough to see it through,

                                            26.
                                            
                                                I'm the element of magic, how could I be this weak?

                                            27.
                                            
                                                To a peanut butter jar I won't ever concede!

                                            28.

                                            29.
                                            
                                                I laughed nervously, and I blew it off as a prank,

                                            30.
                                            
                                                But she said the jar was real; we were drawing up blanks,

                                            31.
                                            
                                                Digging through my brain, looking for a hint of useful knowledge,

                                            32.
                                            
                                                I've handled worse; couldn't have wasted all those years in college.

                                            33.

                                            34.
                                            
                                                I warmed up the lid to try to make it expand,

                                            35.
                                            
                                                But I might as well have just gone pounding on sand,

                                            36.
                                            
                                                I magic'd up the jar to add additional torque,

                                            37.
                                            
                                                But by then my horn had been thoroughly torched, yeah.

                                            38.

                                            39.
                                            
                                                Peanut butter, a peanut butter jar, peanut butter, peanut butter, can’t open,

                                            40.
                                            
                                                Peanut butter, a peanut butter jar, peanut butter, peanut butter, can’t open,

                                            41.

                                            42.
                                            
                                                Such a simple task; it seemed easy to do

                                            43.
                                            
                                                But my horn wasn't enough to see it through

                                            44.
                                            
                                                I'm the element of magic, how could I be this weak?

                                            45.
                                            
                                                To a peanut butter jar I won't ever concede!

                                            46.

                                            47.
                                            
                                                AAAAAAAA

                                            48.

                                            49.
                                            
                                                I couldn't open this PB jar,

                                            50.
                                            
                                                I couldn't open this PB jar,

                                            51.
                                            
                                                I couldn't open this PB jar,

                                            52.
                                            
                                                I couldn't open this PB jar, PB jar

                                            53.

                                            54.
                                            
                                                (She couldn't open this PB jar,

                                            55.
                                            
                                                She couldn't open this PB jar, PB jar)

                                            56.

                                            57.
                                            
                                                Anyways, we broke the lid off and it turned out that the jar was left hoof threaded for some reason. The real mystery is, WHO WOULD MAKE A JAR LEFT HOOF THREADED?